Unburied
by Retroburn
Summary: After Starscream's disastrous attempt to join the Autobots, he flees, only to be found by Optimus. After an accident, though, the two are imprisoned in a cave-in. Optimus asks Starscream to try again at joining the Autobots and to renounce his Decepticon ways, but they both soon learn that the Autobots and Decepticons are much more alike than they first thought.
1. The Cave-In

Starscream felt dead inside.

Sparks flew as the metal cuff hit the rock. A loud clang echoed through the dusty canyon and Starscream slumped to the ground, exhausted. He took a deep breath through his intake, stiffened his aching limbs, and struck again. The cuff hit the jagged stone, a long dent stretching its way across the warped, bent metal. Starscream groaned and looked to the sky at the long, winding clouds floating by, a gleam in his exhausted optics. A cold wind blew by, flowing past his restrained wings and activating thousands of delicate sensors with its cool touch, a harsh shudder running through his bound wings.

This rugged canyon had become his haven, a place of protection against the raging femme and her vengeance. He shook his head, sneering at the dust below and the level to which he'd fallen. He had come to them, bent the knee and pleaded his loyalty to the Prime, spoke of his great desire to become an Autobot and fight against the unjust tyranny that was his former Master. He'd been so tantalizingly close to being accepted, to becoming one of them and taking on their insignia and continuing the fight for Megatron, but from somewhere new. He could've gone on to somewhere where his actions might've actually made a difference, a place where beatings were softer and his words were heard. The opportunity was laid before him, and it was his to take advantage of.

And with a few misplaced words, he had lost it.

The moment the femme's flashing optics turned to him, he knew he had made a mistake. Eons of twisting words and carefully constructing sentences so that he could play the mind and achieve what he wanted mattered little; her rage carried her forward, and with it destroyed any hope of actually being accepted and destroying Megatron.

And so here he was, bound, shackled, and cut off from the sky in a dusty canyon, throwing his frame with all his might into a jagged rock.

He struck the rock again, and a new dent appeared in the cuff around his wing. He was so close.

Starscream grit his dentae as he leaned back and threw himself at the rock again, the cuff shrieking as the metal bent harshly. He could've maybe been listened to, not just tolerated and seen as a nuisance, but as someone with intelligence, someone–

He hit the rock again, a hot blast of air blowing out from his vents. He could've escaped the Decepticons, gone to a place where he wouldn't be so roughly cast aside and forgotten in favor of someone obviously treacherous and untrustworthy, all because they're shinier with more weapons–

He hit the rock again. The sharp, jagged point missed the cuff around his wings and hit his wing itself, cutting a gash through the delicate white metal.

Pain exploded across his wing and energon splattered against the rock. A strangled cry escaped his intake and static buzzed at the edges of his vision as pain took over his senses–

A loud, whooshing roaring sound blasted into his audials. A harsh green glow lit up the bend around the canyon and lit up the surrounding stones in high contrast.

Starscream froze, a cold dread settling within him. They'd found him. He didn't know who, but he knew he had to get away, whether it be the Autobots who rejected him oh so recently or the Decepticons, who had always rejected him.

His plating shifted as his T-cog thrummed to life, energy racing through his frame as he prepared to take off, to fly away and escape–

A sudden and swift jolt shook his body as his wings clanged against the dented cuffs. His vision swam for a moment as the transformation sequence rapidly aborted and left him kneeling there, shaking slightly and bleeding energon. Loud, heavy pedesteps came from around the corner and Starscream shot up to his pedes, swaying unsteadily as the loud pedesteps grew ever closer. He ran behind a rock, hiding behind it as his intakes came in harsh short gasps and his frame shook.

Starscream gulped and took a deep breath, his optics narrowing as he forced himself to peer around the rock he was hiding behind.

Bright blue and red armor reflected the sun on the other end of the canyon as Optimus Prime walked forward, his blue optics combing the jagged rocks and crevices for any sign of the Seeker.

Starscream swore in Vosian. They must've installed a tracker somewhere in his cuffs and now here they were, ready to take him back to their base, but as a prisoner this time, and not a potential teammate. They would interrogate him, make him suffer for the Autobot energon he'd spilt, and their fury would come to rival Megatron's as they brought beatings upon him. He shuddered, a blue femme with harsh blades glinting in the sun coming to mind. No, no need for that.

As long as he stayed silent and held still, the Prime would hopefully walk right past him and search in some other crevice, granting him enough time to flee and break these pesky cuffs off of him, and then he could take off, never to be seen by the Prime again.

The Prime continued forward and Starscream's vents hitched as he drew near, his shadow passing over the shivering Seeker as he peered behind a large boulder on the other side of the narrow canyon. He just had to wait for the Prime to turn the next bend around the canyon and leave, and then he'd be free to run away. He was so close-

A loud drip echoed through the canyon.

A blotch of energon had fallen from the great tear in Starscream's wing and hit the dusty ground below him. The Prime's helm snapped around and looked right at the boulder where Starscream laid hidden.

He cursed silently, his wings shaking as his talons curled and he tensed his every muscle.

The Prime looked around the rock and made optic contact with Starscrean, his cool blue meeting Starscream's bright red as the Seeker struck. Starscream's legs pushed against the ground below and he sprung into the air, long claws extending from his talons as he brought them forward. Starscream landed on the Prime, hissing as his talons lashed out and cut into the Prime's chassis. Prime stumbled back, the hissing seeker leaping off of him and then speeding down the canyon.

Prime immediately sprung into action, taking off after Starscream, his longer legs carrying him to the Seeker much more quickly.

"Starscream-" began Prime, but never finished. He jerked his helm to the right as a bolt from a null ray went flying past him and collided with the canyon wall, showering rocks and dust onto the ground below. Starscream's pedes skid against the rock as he made a harsh turn, his bound wings banging loudly and painfully against the canyon wall, making him yelp. He turned around whenever he could, shooting at the Prime with his null rays as he ran forward.

The cuffs around his wings rattled with each exhausting step he took, narrowly held on by a thin band of bent metal. He saw a rock cutting out into the air before him and shot forward with a burst of speed, lifting his wings to the sharp corner while preparing to strike, to free himself and fly away.

The rock exploded, huge chunks raining down and falling in front of him. Starscream's momentum carried him forward, his pedes scrambling beneath him and kicking up a cloud of dust as his frame slammed into the fallen boulders. His helm spun and he groaned, a groan that quickly turned into a yelp as a massive servo closed over his shoulder. Starscream turned around and stared faceplate to faceplate with the Prime, one servo firmly holding him down as the hot blue glow from Prime's blaster washed over him.

Prime's stern faceplate looked down at him, his blaster transforming back into his right servo, placing it upon Starscream's other shoulder.

"Starscream, you are coming with me," he said, his grip tightening as the Seeker flinched below him, the dark and serious tone of his voice bringing up unwelcome memories of a certain warlord.

"Never," Starscream snarled. "If you think I'll come back with you hypocrites, you're wrong! First you say you'll give me a chance, and then next thing I know I'm in a battle to the dea–"

The canyon rumbled ominously. Prime's helm shot up and he scanned the walls as bits of dust fell down. Starscream saw his opportunity and took it. He shot up to his pedes, trying to push off the servos holding him down with his talons as he shook with effort. Prime wrapped his arm around the thrashung Seeker, his firm grip on Starscream preventing him from being able to use his talons as he was shoved tight against Prime's chassis.

"I need a groundbridge, now!" Prime shouted into his com as the canyon rumbled again, shaking them down to their protoforms. Rocks came falling down, the whole world tilting and shifting as the sun was obscured by falling dust and stones. The last thing Starscream saw was the Prime yanking him to his chest and curling over him as something hard struck his helm.

Starscream mumbled something in Vosian as he paced through the small cave.

Bits of sandy dust flew into the air in soft, curling clouds that fell down, coating Starscream's silver legs as he paced through the dirt. At first glance he was poised, his long stride carrying him swiftly through the narrow cavern. The cold, clean cut of his arm reflected the faint blue glow of Optimus's optics from across the cave, his armor rippling across his frame as he whirled around, the sharp edges of his great wings cutting through the dust in the air and casting long bands of shadows on the rocky walls.

At first glance, he was in control as he worked his way through that narrow space; he was Commander Starscream, Second-in-Command of the Decepticon army. The confidence and the surety of his movement almost seemed a physical thing in that cave, and it was not hard to imagine his processor racing with a hundred thousand plans and a hundred thousand outcomes.

But Optimus was no regular mech. His blue optics tracked the pacing Seeker back and forth through the cave, and saw things no one else could. Starscream's wings shuddered imperceptibly and were pulled tight. His armor slid and moved as he walked, creating a faint ringing sound that shouldn't be there. A faint drip of energon fell out of a gash in his wing and onto the cave floor. His long, lithe legs carried him across the cave in wide steps, but Optimus saw the hidden tightness, the taut muscles and tense struts he knew Starscream to be struggling to control.

He was not truly Commander Starscream in that moment, but a scared, frightened mech, closed in physically by a thousand boulders deep within the earth, and closed in mentally by a mind-numbing terror. It was a terror not immediately obvious. Over the long course of years serving and being served, Optimus had learned to read mechs in ways no others could; he learned to understand that the slight waves and oscillations in a mech's EM field were a sign of internal struggle, and that that hardy glare and steely determination he saw so often in optics could be a ruse, pulled up to hide the raw fear a mech was feeling within. They were they ones to come forth and stand tall with the steely drive to make things happen, and were the ones you found staring dead into space with marks on their arms. He'd seen it in his commanding officers and the lowest of foot soldiers, for it was a kind of fear not experienced just on the battlefield, but in every second of every day; a waking, walking terror that consumed the calmest and most seemingly in control mechs, who appeared confident and sure on the outside, but were dying on the inside.

Starscream was dying.

"I am sure that everything will be fine." Optimus said calmly.

Starscream's EM field roiled for a second before settling, the frothing quakes of alarm quieted and pulled in tight against his cold frame as he turned around to Optimus. "Oh, I'm sure they'll come," Starscream said. "They will come, and they will labor to dig and dig to unearth you, and when they find me down here as well, you will take me and lock me up in a cave of another kind, but with bars instead of boulders." he said, his pauldrons rolling across his shoulders as his mouth formed into a sneer. "If you think that I will stand by and let you drag me off, you're wrong!" he sneered, and there it was again, that shudder through his frame that coursed from his plume down to his heel-struts.

He walked to the opposite side of the cave and before Optimus could protest, he banged the metal cuff around his wings against the wall. The cuff twisted and warped with a shriek of metal, splitting and falling to the cave floor. Optimus watched, bemused as Starscream fluttered his wings and rolled his shoulders, a look of pure bliss on his faceplates as he shuttered his optics in satisfaction. Starscream opened his optics again and for a moment they widened as he saw a giant heap of boulders piled high above him, making a brief flash of terror strike through his field before dissipating. Starscream shook his helm and mumbled, pedes clacking against the floor of the cave as he resumed pacing.

Starscream could feel the still, dense air of the cave as it hung around. He could feel the cold biting into his frame as grits of dust and dirt swirled through the air and coated him frame, floating into and cloying up his internals. Starscream paced to the opposite side, the ride glow from his optics illuminating the piled up rocks and boulders as he shivered and turned around. He raised his leg, preparing to take another step, when suddenly he felt his pede hit something hit as he fell down with a clang.

Optimus was there in a second, his concerned blue optics flashing over the quivering Seeker's frame as Starscream shakily tried to stand.

"Are you alr-"

"I am fine." Starscream hissed, swaying as he got back on his feet and continued to rein in his EM field. He looked up at the walls surrounding him on all sides and quickly looked away, his field briefly pulsing in fear. The ceiling was low over the cavern and seemingly hung above him, ready to drop and crush him underneath. He shuddered as a cold dread settled in him, his EM field writhing before Starscream pulled it tight against his frame.

He was suddenly aware of something wrapped around his waist, holding him as the cave stopped blurring and he stopped swaying. Starscream looked up, the Prime looking down at him with a small frown.

"Starscream, you are not well." the Prime said, all stern as his grip on Starscream's waist tightened.

Starscream gulped, trying to ignore the dust floating in the air and clogging his vents. "Of course I'm not, I'm stuck underground with a haughty Prime, and-" Starscream tried to wiggle out of Optimus's grasp, but failed as the grip on his waist tightened.

"You've been acting strange ever since the cave-in. You are not okay." the Prime said, guiding Starscream into a sitting position beside him on the floor.

Starscream fidgeted as he looked up at Optimus, trying to keep his optics locked onto the Prime's face and away from the pile of boulders enclosing them and the low ceiling. His wings twitched and itched as the world swayed again, the boulders surrounding them on all sides seeming to move closer.

"It's-" Starscream began, tightly shuttering his optics as his wings flapped nervously behind him, the Prime's concerned field brushing against him.

"Seekers don't do well underground-we need the open, wide sky and-" he yelped as the cave rumbled deeply. Optimus frowned and looked at the surrounding cave. If he were to stand, there would be a feet feet of air above his head, and if he were to stretch his arms out to his side, he would cover half the width of the cavern. Not good. Starscream's wings occasionally brushed against the cave walls as he paced, making him briefly slow his pacing and flinch, his optics dilating before he pulled the veil of normality back onto himself and resumed his panicked walking. Optimus shuttered his optics and filtered through his databanks; his knowledge on Seekers was scarce due to the rarity of it. What he did know, though, was that Seekers were notoriously claustrophobic. He'd heard rumors of Seekers going mad, destroying themselves in an attempt to escape confined spaces. They needed the sky, they are the sky, and as of that moment the sky was blocked out by an enormous barrier of giant boulders.

Optimus didn't know this side of Starscream well; he'd seen the bravado and arrogance as he sliced through the air, raining fire and the Pit down onto him and his soldiers, missiles firing and sharp claws lashing out while being accompanied by even sharper words as he schemed and plotted to take you and everyone else apart. This was not that arrogant mech, but the darker, panicked version of him that was always there seemingly, but never came out. Until now, that is. He needed to be careful, he knew this much. His words would bring on denial and rejection, but he had to reach Starscream and quell his panic. He had to.

"You are right in that when," and he emphasized that bit, "my team finds us, we will take you back with us, but we will provide treatment for your wound and ask that you cooperate. There's still a chance, Starscream." Optimus said.

Starscream looked at him, uncertainty flashing through his field. "A second chance at what?" he said, his voice a strange tone. Optimus knew that Starscream knew what he was talking about.

"At becoming an Autobot." Optimus said softly.

Silence descended upon the cave and made the already tense air as dense as the rock around them. Starscream shuttered his optics and opened them again, staring at Optimus with a strange expression. Optimus ran through the possibilities; he expected rage at nearly having his life taken by the Autobots when his secret was spilled, false bravado and claims that he needed to not be an Autobot and was fine being rogue, accompanied with an undercurrent of fear at the prospect of starvation in the wilderness, or maybe even a bold statement declaring his refound loyalty to Megatron.

He was not expecting laughter.

It rose up out of Starscream and exploded out of him, a strange mirthless noise that reverberated through the small cave. Starscream stood and stooped over, holding onto his knees as his frame shook with more laughter.

"If you think that I am still interested in joining your hypocritical faction, you are dearly mistaken, Prime," he said, an undertone of malice hidden under the title. "I came to you as an ally, willing to give you all that you needed to succeed in defeating my traitorous faction, and I narrowly escape with my life! I was attacked, pushed up against a wall and nearly deactivated at the servos of one of your peace-loving soldiers! But I fought back, I don't yield. I was not forged so that I may be pushed underpede by others wishing to stomp over me. I command no and and I am commanded by no one." Starscream said, whipping around to face the Prime. "I will not exchange one tyrant for another." he said, a wild look in his optics.

"Arcee's actions today were wrong, Starscream. You had come to us asking to join us and we had given you a chance, but her anger consumed her reason and destroyed it. She has learned, though, and so have all of us. Revenge achieves nothing and will not quell the anger in your spark. Arcee learned this. So can you," Optimus shifted a little and looked Starscream in the optics, a servo outstretched. "You seek revenge against Megatron, to rip apart his spark chamber. I've seen that look of vengeance in optics before and I will see it again, although hopefully not from you. I have witnessed you try to usurp Megatron time and time again, only to be beaten down and for you to try again, seeking a terrible revenge each time. If you try to bring an end to his violence with even greater violence, all you will have in the end is pain. I believe that there is good in you, Starscream. You are tired of this war and so am I, and together we can defeat Megatron, not so that we can gain satisfaction from his suffering, but so that we can rebuild our home. I don't want to see you turn into yet another mech bent on vengeance, destroying whatever you have in order to achieve their revenge, only for you to actually achieve it and be left an empty frame. I think you could be so much more, Starscream. Please don't become one of them and join us."

For a moment there was silence, the only sound the faint whirr of their vents as Starscream looked at Optimus. His right optic twitched and he straightened up, his wings raised as a dark look passed over his faceplates. He smoothly strode forward and stood over Optimus. "Well," he purred out. "I think I understand you a bit more on this day, Prime." Starscream said, chuckling hollowly.

Optimus tilted his head. He didn't understand–the empty laughter and calculating look briefly overshadowed the claustrophobia as the Seeker stood tall above him, looking as if he had all of life's mysteries at his clawtips.

Starscream walked over to Optimus's right and sat down, his long legs curling underneath him. "We call you Autobots soft sparks, not quite fully understanding what makes you so numbingly kind, so bent and determined on justice and honor to the point you drone on in speeches about it. Yet today, I think I understand a little bit better why you're so soft. Tell me, what if Megatron killed Bumblebee?"

Optimus blinked. That was unexpected. This mortifying question combined with the Seeker's downright conversational demeanor and haughtiness made a slight feeling of unease work its way through his struts. He could feel the prickling of Starscream's EM Field, the field pulsing slightly and slowly weaving around the Seeker as smooth as molasses as a cold, calculating gleam entered Starscream's optics. Optimus knew that look–it was the same look he had seen thousands of times before, that scheming look that he had as he twisted another web of lies and the puzzle pieces of the universe fit together in his favor. Optimus shook his helm, optics focusing on the smirking Seeker sitting in front of him.

"I would avenge him," he rumbled out. Images of scratched yellow paint and a stumbling scout flashed through his processor, a faint trickle of fear forming in the back of his processor as he pictured Bumblebee never waking from recharge. He tightened his servos slightly, pushing the image away. He wouldn't let that happen. "I would remember all that he has contributed to our cause and make sure that it would not go to waste. I would defeat Megatron and bring this war to an end in his name and in the name of the countless other Autobots who perished. I would create peace out of his sacrifice."

Starscream moved his head to the side, that same scheming gleam in his optics. Somehow, Optimus knew that he said exactly what the Seeker expected him and wanted him to say.

"You go on, about bringing peace and making his sacrifice worth it in the name of a newer, better society. That, right there, is the soft-sparkedness of the Autobots that would make you ensure that his death is worth it. It's also the same soft-sparkedness that will get him killed in the first place." He waved a servo around in the air languidly and settled back, his wings smoothly extending from his back as he locked optics with Optimus. "How many times have you had the opportunity to kill Megatron? To snuff his spark for good and bring this war to an end, but chose not to?"

"I refuse to kill an opponent who is defenseless."

"A good code of honor, that it is!" Starscream said, laughing out. "But you must understand that that same honor and pride you Autobots carry with you–that you carry with you–is the same sense of honor that is indirectly responsible for the deaths of your own soldiers. Everytime you had the chance to kill Megatron but didn't, every time you let him walk away was a time where you let your greatest enemy escape, only so that he may go off and kill more of your soldiers. By letting him live, you are letting him kill your soldiers. You are unwilling to get dirty and compromise your honor and save lives because you don't want to tarnish your Autobot nobility by killing him. You refuse to kill him while defenseless, but there were actually many times where you had the opportunity to kill him and he wasn't defenseless. You both race into battle, brutally fighting each other, the both of you equally powerful and just as strong as the other. Then, you occasionally get the chance to deactivate him, but let it slip away in the name of him being 'defenselesss', even though he's just as strong as you and is just momentarily weakened!" Starscream laughed and leaned back on his servos. "That 'defenseless' mech is killing your people."

Optimus froze, the words sinking in. It was a mental battle he had fought before and would, inevitably, fight again. He went into recharge at night thinking of the opportunities he had to bring an end to Megatron, but didn't, only for Megatron to bring pain and suffering to him and others.

"If I were to stoop down to his level and kill him, I am no better than him. Everybot has the chance to change, to become better," he looked right into Starscream's optics and the Seeker flinched slightly. "even Megatron. For me to kill him is for me to rid him of the chance to become a better person, to deny him the opportunity to become a good mech in time. I do not kill him out of a sense of pride or honor, Starscream, but out of a sense of hope. I hope that he will see reason and come to see the pointlessness of this war. I hope that he will be the good mech he once was. There are other ways to win this war besides his death. I wish to bring an end to this conflict with as little death as is needed, with as little suffering as is needed, because suffering brings on more suffering. I want to defeat the Decepticons and restore our home so that we may live side by side in peace. If I were to kill Megatron, there would be chaos within the ranks of the Decepticons. With you out of the picture now, many mechs would rise up and lay claim to the title of Lord and the Decepticons would tear themselves apart, creating more needless violence. I wish to defeat him and win this war without killing him in the hope that he may see reason."

"And what if he doesn't?" Starscream whispered, leaning in. "What if you have brought down the Nemesis and the chain of command and you have Megatron before you, defeated, and he still refuses to see reason? What if you have defeated him, and his only wish is to spring up and kill you with a new army? What then?"

Optimus lowered his helm. He saw Megatron before him, behind bars, that urge to bring about justice and build a better society in his optics gone, replaced with a ravenous hunger to wage war.

"Then I would imprison him knowing that I gave him a chance."

Starscream leaned back, his mouth twisted and his EM field roiling impatiently. "You're all about chances," he hissed out. "give him a chance, give that mech a chance, give me a chance!" Starscream said loudly, his wings flaring out. "I haven't seen you give any of them chances." he said, looking off into space and gesturing with a servo.

Optimus stopped and thought. Who is "them"? Did he mean the other Decepticons that had served the cause, such as Dreadwing and Blitzwing? One of the other countless, brutal soldiers that had served the Decepticons?

"I don't understand." Optimus said.

Starscream laughed. "Of course you don't. Alright, you're willing to give the warlord, and even me a chance to improve. Why not, then, his footsoldiers? The Vehicons and Eradicons and other many drones whom you kill in waves on the battlefield, who fall only to be replaced and for their replacements to fall and die again? Why haven't you given them a chance to improve, to be better?"

"Because they are drones and because they are necessary casualties," Optimus said, and the words felt twisted and bitter as the cold acknowledgement of their mass deaths flashed through his processor. "I cannot approach one and and ask it to try to better them self, for it would be impossible, both due to their sheer numbers and because of their devotion to Megatron. They were literally born to serve him and his every command. How can I persuade something who was born to have only one main purpose in life, to make them cast aside that purpose in favor of something completely different? It would destroy them."

Starscream humphed as he sat cross-legged in front of Optimus. "Alright, fair reasoning. But you know, I noticed something just now Prime–you called them 'it'. Not someone, but something," Starscream said, a victorious rumble emanating from his field. "You don't acknowledge them as people."

"Neither do you."

He looked hard at Starscream. "You throw the bodies of your own soldiers in front of you and use them as shields. When Megatron berates you, you shift the blame to them, even when it's not their fault. You criticize me, the enemy, for being harsh with them when you, Starscream, their own Commanding Officer talks to them harshly and sometimes leaves them behind on the battlefield. I don't see you try to defend them." The words spilled out of Optimus's mouth before he knew it.

"Because–because–" Starscream's wings fluttered and stirred up motes of dust floating in the cave air. He huffed and lowered his wings, optics shuttering open and closed rapidly as his EM field began to expand outward and roil and froth with a sudden heat.

"They're blind," Starscream whispered, the words just barely within the range of Optimus's audials.

"They think that our current situation aboard the Nemesis is alright and that it's okay, they fail to realize just how dire our situation truly is. They praised Megatron when he came back after abandoning us for years, and continued to praise him as he destroyed everything I managed to achieve in those same years. Megatron is a tyrannical will wrapped in flashy armor, with all the firepower in the world to back it up. But I–I am the catalyst. I am the one who plots our next move and who thinks through all the outcomes, and prepares for every single one.

I don't think I can lead the Decepticons, I know I can. That is not arrogance, that is the truth. Your and your little team thought that the Nemesis was off puttering around in the stars, and yet there it was, suspended above your very helms as we mined and pounded into the Earth, taking and taking more and more energon. And no one noticed."

Starscream stepped forward, narrowing his optics as his voice came out in a cold hiss. "No one. And who do you think is responsible for that?" he smiled a little and pranced away, his long legs carrying him to the other side of the cavern as he smoothly waved his talon. "He disappeared for three years, and for every single day of those three years we thought Lord Megatron to be building a great army, uniting our greatest soldiers scattered to the stars and strengthening the Decepticon ranks, making us greater than ever before. It was the most logical explanation. It was the only one we could accept!" Starscream whipped his helm around, his servos tightening at his sides as his wings shuddered. "And he came back with a rock. A rock of death, I might add.

For those three years we lived in a peaceful prosperity, mining and ever improving the Nemesis, making her into the flying beauty she is today. And then he comes crashing in like a meteor, making the peace buckle and fold as he forces his way back into our lives. He didn't bring an army, he brought death. Death of the peace, death in the form of a voodoo rock!" Starscream shrieked, wings flaring and vents blowing hot.

Optimus watched Starscream as he frantically walked back and forth across the cave, his servos massaging his arms as his wings twitched and his EM field frazzled and crackled with a deep-seated rage.

"And he shoved it right into his spark chamber, the very essence of death right into his soul, and he never thought about the consequences. He is a grand fighter and can create even grander speeches, but he cannot plan for the life of him. He never thought to think of what would happen if he died–the army would've ripped itself apart, mechs coming from all over to lay claim to the throne, you said it yourself! I don't know if I could've held them off–I hate to admit it, but many of those other Decepticons could've maybe actually had a chance at taking me down. Maybe. The fact that he risked dying and destroying the Decepticon army, the whole cause just so he can control zombies angers me, Prime. He is a buffoon. And the army loves him for it. They are idiots, and if they want to follow that idiot blindly, to throw their lives away blindly for him, then I don't care if they deactivate." Starscream said, his arms crossed and his vents blasting out hot air as his frame cooled.

Optimus looked at Starscream as the Seeker stood before him, his limbs drawn tight in tension as flares of annoyance bubbled through his EM field, most likely directed at his soldiers and Optimus. Starscream stood tall, his stance conveying confidence and the will and mind needed to lead, his red optics piercing through Optimus as the Seeker stared down at him. Optimus sighed and shuttered his optics. He'd seen mechs just like Starscream before. They were different colors, different frame types, were even members of different factions, but they were all the same, nevertheless. He'd seen them before. And he'd see them again.

"I have come across countless officers and officials in my function," Optimus said, the words rumbling through the cave. "They are all different mechs in their own unique ways, but so many of them are the same. They stand tall, their fields bursting with the strength to command and the drive to do so, but they do not have it. They didn't have the ability to inspire. Their subordinates did not look up to them as great leaders who could nobly lead them, they did not look up to their commanding officers as great mechs who would bleed and die for them as they fight for what's right.

Megatron is not a schemer, a master tactician, or an analyst–he is none of those things. He is an inspirer, a catalyst of a different kind. He suffered alongside them on Cybertron and taught them that what was happening to them wasn't okay, and that they needed to fight back. His methods are brutal and he is incredibly cruel, but he is a source of inspiration in a way that you aren't. That's why if you overthrow him, you won't be able to lead the same way he does; you are unable to inspire your troops."

Starscream put his servos on his hips as impatience bled out of his field in waves. "Defending the enemy now, aren't you? Why the sudden change of heart towards your enemy? Why defend him?"

Optimus shook his helm, his own field pulsing with sadness. "Because I am trying to make you see why he can lead the Decepticons and why you can't–not in the same way, at least. I want you to understand that while you would make a good leader, you would not make a great one. Not until you understand what it means to inspire, to only ask your comrades to do something you yourself are willing to do."

Starscream huffed. "And I suppose you are some great, inspiring leader yourself, Prime? I bet when you and him were still brothers so long ago, you took him aside and taught him all the ways he could give noble and inspiring speeches to rally troops."

"No. He taught me."

Starscream froze for a moment, his mouth drawn into a thin line, and Optimus knows he's won–for now, at least. He lets his own EM field gently expand outward and caress the prickling edges of Starscream's field. He feels the Seeker's field buck and contort as it twists away from his gentle caresses, pulling itself tight against Starscream's frame as he shakes slightly.

Starscream gets that look again, and Optimus does not need to look at him twice to see that he is plotting again. He sees Starscream's field straighten and stretch up as the Seeker stands tall again, a sharp retort undoubtedly perched on the edge of Starscream's glossa as he prepares to lash back, ready for another verbal battle.

Optimus won't let that happen.

"You could be like that too, you know."

Starscream's mouth closes and his field shudders, flashing in confusion as he reigns it in again. "Be like what?" he screeches out, dentae grinding together. "A giant mech who stands on a podium and twists words into poetry, making grandiose speeches that make you feel all warm and tingly inside? I could be like that? Is that what you are saying?"

Optimus looks at the frenzied Seeker before him, Starscream's field lashing out and briefly whipping across the edge of his as Starscream prowls closer.

"I think,"–Optimus says, and he knows he has to be careful–"that you could be an inspiration too."

The frenzied field across from him drops flat, Starscream's optics widening as his mouth drops open.

Optimus stood up and moved beside Starscream, his battle mask retracting as Starscream stared up at him with wide red optics.

"You scheme and plot because your mind is your greatest strength, your finest and most sharpest weapon. You work alongside the giant that is Megatron and amongst other great mechs who can destroy you with their bare servos. You feel this need to be in control. When you have the situation under control, you have a chance at being heard and at being able to lead. You want to take the army and steer it in the right direction, controlling every variable so you can build an even brighter future. You want to create a great society, Starscream. It's your dream.

"But it's just that–a dream. And you know you don't have the strength to make it happen. Whenever you gain any control over a situation, you lose that control, leaving you bitter, angry, and hungering for more power. When your scheming and plotting fails to give you the upper hand, you feel weak and vulnerable because your mind, your greatest weapon, failed to give you the power that you want. When you do manage to achieve victory and have power, something always comes along to take it away. Sometimes that something is in the form of Megatron, wrenching the control you desperately crave away from you so he can place himself back on top, all while taking credit for the achievements you made. He destroys whatever you've built for yourself."

Starscream takes a step back, his vents back on in full force and his wings shaking as his EM field whips around him. Optimus stared into Starscream's optics and felt a pang of guilt. Optimus shakes his helm, turning his gaze back onto Starscream. _I need to do this._

"But the main mech–the one who sabotages you the most and leaves you powerless and hungry for control the most, the one who constantly undermines your plans and usurps you the most–is you."

"You're wrong," Starscream chokes out, taking a step back and flinching as his wings hit the cave wall, the walls closing in around him. "He is my greatest enemy, he is the one stopping me from become great!" Starscream shrieks.

Optimus sends out calming waves, slowly stepping forward and pressing a large servo onto Starscream's shaking shoulder.

"I think that deep down, you are a good mech. I have seen countless mechs become corrupted by the horrors and tragedies of this pointless war, and you by far are the worst victim of this corruption I have seen. I'v seen you commit terrible crimes, but I think, Starscream, that you do those terrible things out of a sense of hope for a better future."

Optimus sent more reassuring waves through his field to Starscream as he clenched his servos by his side and energon dripped from his wing. "I think that you want to be loved, deep down. You constantly strive to impress Megatron, only to be rejected by him even when you do well. So you try harder and harder to impress him, and even when you do accomplish anything, you are only criticized, resulting in you having this burning hatred for him. I believe that the horrors of this war have left you jaded and scarred, forcing you to repress your natural goodness so much that you've forgotten you have any good left in you at all." Optimus said.

He squeezed Starscream's shoulder as Starscream looked up at him, his optics shining a bright, piercing red as he stared up at Prime. Starscream looked away as he made optic contact with Optimus, gritting his dentae as his field frothed and quaked around them, the smooth waves from Optimus's field gently drifting by Starscream's burning one.

"I think that you don't know what you want, Starscream," Prime continued. "You think that you want to lead the Decepticons and become a great leader, but you also want to impress Megatron and be praised by him. And I know that you are constantly torn between these two desires, constantly balanced between the two, unsure of which one you really want. And I think you want neither. Because deep down, Starscream, I believe that you want to be good again. But you don't know that you want this because you have tried so hard to push your nobility into oblivion. You've forgotten how to be good, and maybe you even hate yourself for wanting to be who you were before the war. Before the war began, you wanted to make great discoveries to make Cybertron a better, happier place."

"No!" Starscream said. "I refuse to be compared to who I was before the war–a weak scientist who had delusions of going off and making great discoveries while making Cybertron a better place. I am Commander Starscream! He was weak, and I am not weak!"

"You're not weak. I think you're stronger than even you give yourself credit for. I also think, however, that you were strong even before you were Commander, and that you were strong even when you were a scientist. I think that you want to go back to being a scientist because you got to do good by helping others. But those days are long gone and this war has made monsters of us all, including you. You want to lead the Decepticons and be called Lord, you want to be praised by Megatron, but you also want to be good again. And you have been forced into a situation where you can have none of these things.

"You lash out and fight in the only way you can. You lie. You manipulate, you twist and turn the minds and emotions of mechs so you can get what you want and use them as a stepping stone. And when they fail to fall under your control, you lash out and fight with them, guilting them in the hopes that you can remain in control by defeating them in an argument. And when that fails, you panic, you beg and you plead for mercy because all you want most is to survive to the next day so you can try again at being in control. You are caught in a vicious cycle of self-destruction. As I stand before you now, I watch you fall apart."

"No, no–"

"But for a while there, you had hope. You saw joining the Autobots as a stepping stone to power, albeit a different one, and I know that you told yourself that the only reason you wanted to join us was so that you can grow stronger and be in control of the Decepticons one day–not as the leader of the Decepticons, but as their conqueror."

Optimus knelt down in front of the shaking Seeker, making Starscream whimper. Starscream clenched his servos as his optics darted around, his EM field blasting around them.

"But I know that deep down, you had a second reason for joining the Autobots. You saw us as a way to escape the vicious cycle, a chance at fighting back against the mechs who bully you. Megatron treated you poorly and passed over you time and time again in favor of newcomers you knew to be untrustworthy and treacherous. Your hatred for Airachnid comes from the fact that Megatron likes her more than you, even though you've fought and sacrificed so much for him over the course of almost your entire life. But I believe that the main reason you hate Airachnid is because she reminds you of you. You met somebody who is just as treacherous as you are, and you saw just how desperate for power you've become. You didn't like what you saw in yourself. You remembered your innate goodness and wanted to be a good person again. I think that you want to be a better mech. You hate yourself, and you saw us as a way to make yourself a bit better, and to maybe even redeem yourself."

Optimus moved closer, his faceplate inches from Starscream's.

"But you failed. Your past caught up with you and for all your skill in twisting words, you let your pride and arrogance overtake your ability to think, and you let slip the truth of Cliffjumper's death. In that moment, your ability to lie and scheme could not save you, your greatest weapon wasn't enough to protect you. That vicious cycle came back. You sabotaged yourself and tried to lie and manipulate your way back into power, only to fail and end up beaten, only to be saved from dying by Arcee's blade by sheer chance. So you ran. And I now what your options are–you can become a rogue, or return to Megatron. Either way, you see death coming for you. You might starve if you become a rogue. if you return to Megatron, you might get killed by his servo. You have no options. And you know that you're doomed to struggle–to struggle to survive in the wilderness, all while struggling to find a way back into Megatron's favor. The cycle you hate so much and desperately tried to escape from is now your only hope for survival–you want the cycle back. It's all you have. You want to get caught in that vicious cycle aboard the Nemesis. You need that cycle of destruction. You're dying inside."

Optimus squeezed Starcream's shoulder while sending out gentle waves, the Seeker staring at him wide-eyed, his wings clattering against the rock behind him as his vents came in hard pants.

"Why are you like this? This war has broken us all, but it has destroyed you. What happened to you to make you into what you are?"

The only sounds were of Starscream's shaking vents and his shivering body as his armor clattered together. His EM field was a wild thing, stretched out in all directions, raw and exposed, crackling and pulsing with panic and sheer terror like a wild sea. Optimus tried harder to send out more calming waves, his optical ridges narrowed in concentration as he pulsed calm and you're safe with me through his field. What has he done to you? Optimus thought, his field tinging with sadness.

All of a sudden, something snapped. Starscream's field bent and twisted itself away from the soothing touch of Optimus's. Starscream latched onto Optimus's wrist with his servo and wrenched the servo away from his shoulder. Starscream gasped and stumbled back, sliding away from between Optimus and the wall as he moved to look straight into the Prime's optics, his wings raised high on his back.

"You think you know everything, don't you?" he laughed out, and a cruel smile stretched across his face. "You've got everything figured out!" Starscream laughed again, and it was a horrible sound.

Optimus was frozen on the inside; this maniacal sound was far from what was expected of the silver seeker, and yet there he was, laughing as if he was the happiest mech in the world and was not terrified of being crushed to death by a thousand tons of rock above and the ten thousand tons of truth Optimus had just laid atop him. The laughter went on, and Optimus continued to think and run through everything. _How did this happen? When will my team arrive? How do I help him?_

Optimus watched as Starscream laughed on, his bright red optics shining brighter than ever before. Starscream's vents heaved as his maniacal laughter continued on, his servos on his knees as his light frame shook and jolted with each terrible laugh booming out of him. Optimus moved closer, letting a servo land on Starscream's shoulder. He stooped down, letting out waves of _calm_ and _are you okay?_ flow out of him and towards the shaking Seeker.

"Y-you know what?" Starscream said, his frame shaking as looks up into Optimus's optics. "You're right. But not about all things–maybe I am doomed to suffer. But I am not doomed to lose. I will win one day, and I will use whatever awful means I need to to achieve it. My victory definitely won't be today, but it will come–maybe a hundred or a thousand years from now, but it'll come. Because everybody, including you, can beat me down, either physically or mentally, but it doesn't matter because no matter how hard they beat me down, I'll just get back up and continue fighting. Over and over and over again!"

His EM field drew around, his determination spiking through it as it flowed and wreathed around Starscream.

"I won't stop. You can tell me all the little ways in which I've failed and will continue to fail, but, it doesn't matter in the end because I will win one day. You can destroy me mentally, but I'll just come back more determined than ever before. You can beat me down to my spark chamber and leave me a broken and bleeding mess, and–and I'll rebuild my body from my pedes to my crest just so I can come back and punch you." He stumbled away from Optimus, his wings flaring out as his EM field exploded outwards and consumed the air.

"I will continue to be mean to my soldiers as long as they choose to follow the idiot that is Megatron. I don't have this innate goodness, or nobility, or whatever you want to call it–I am horribly, beautifully awful and I know it.

"I will continue to insert myself into that vicious cycle, or whatever you want to call it, because I know that each time I try to win and get beaten down, I get stronger. I can only get smarter from here on out. Every time I try to win and I fail, I still get to learn from what I did wrong so that I can lie and manipulate better next time. I lose less and less often now–Megatron still comes by and he still beats me into the ground, but it makes me all the more determined to overthrow him. Maybe you're right in that I don't have what it takes to inspire an army and truly lead them. But you know what? I'll try to lead them anyway, and if they refuse to follow me, I will make them follow me. I will not stand by and let them ruin my chances to end this pointless, stupid war and rebuild our home because they don't like my style.

"I'm going to rebuild Cybertron and make it better than it ever was before, a place led neither under the tyranny of Megatron, or the soft-sparkedness of Autbots. I have already made great discoveries, discoveries about what must be done to make Cybertron stronger, and I will make Cybertron stronger and more powerful than it ever was before.

"If some great, brave warrior comes burning down onto the Nemesis from the stars and wrenches control of the army from me, becoming the next Megatron, then I will continue to lie and manipulate until I can wrench the throne back. I won't stop fighting. Even if I'm a disembodied floating spark, I will keep fighting."

He laughed out again his vents hitched and hiccuped. "I don't care," Starscream said, more coolant leaking down from his optics. "I'll keep going and going even if it destroys me in the end. I'm in too deep, I can't back out now, or what will it have all been for? I will lie and be as sweet as I need to be to make the allies I need to survive, and I will prepare myself for the backlash when they end up betraying me. I am alone, because I am all that I need. I don't need friends, or my trinemates–they make me weak and blindly trusting. I have learned to live in a world of betrayal, and I can navigate it with ease. Everyone is out to get me in some way, even you, and I will fight back against them. I won't let them betray not again, not ever again! He can introduce all the new, treacherous officers he wants while ignoring me. He can continue to mass-produce more drones to blindly follow and praise his every move. He can disappear for as long as he wants and come back with nothing but death again for all I care. I've faced it all before and I'll face it all over again if it means that one day, I will have my victory. I don't need to be happy, I just need to win in the end. I don't care how much he beats me. I'll always get back up in the end."

Starscream stands taller, his servos drawn into tight fists besides his sides as he stares straight into the optics of Prime. His EM field flashes and whirs around him, bleeding confidence and I won't yield. Starscream flutters his wings, forcing them to stand tall on his back as he moves to be face to face with the Prime._ I will never yield, he won't win, not today, I can't let him win–_ Starscream thinks.

"And I'll defeat you–all the Autobots, and I'll never have to hear you pick and pull me apart ever again. I'll keep fighting for millions of years if I have to, as long as I rise up on top. I won't stop, I'll never stop. I don't care how he makes me feel, how he makes me feel worthless, because I know that I am not worthless. I'm Starscream, I won't go down for good, no matter how much Megatron hurts me. I'll beat him back one day."

For a moment there was only silence, the red and blue of their optics the only light in the small cave.

A hard, strange look entered Optimus's eyes and Starscream takes a step back, red optics flashing red as they widen. The Prime moves to stand, the crest of his helm inches from the ceiling of the cave as he rises up to tower over the Seeker.

Optimus Prime towered over Starscream, but not in a tyrannical way. There was no malice in the way he looked down upon the shivering Seeker below, and neither was there any desire to scare and intimidate as he stepped nearer. Optimus walked closer to Starscream and knelt again, looking Starscream dead in the eye.

"He beats you."

Starscream froze.

It was not a question, but a statement.

"No, he–"

"Don't lie. For once, just don't lie."

Optimus's tone was cold and flat, making Starscream's wings drop down his back. The Prime's normally controlled field rippled with a hidden emotion as his servos tightened by his sides, puffs of smoke escaping from his smokestacks.

"He abuses you. He beats you down into the ground, telling you you're worthless and that you are nothing. He has ripped away the things that make you happy and makes you live in a constant need to fight. You're constantly paranoid and worried about betrayal. He has already beaten you. You're a dead mech walking."

Starscream chokes. He takes a step back and shakes his helm back and forth, his field splitting apart and fracturing as his servos grasp at empty air, the cave closing in as he thinks _this isn't how this is supposed to go, I'm not in control, I'm not in control I'mnotincontrol _

Starscream stumbles back, shaking even more, his optics darting around the cave. He feels his processor light up with activity as he plunges yet again into his schemes, the normally comforting outcomes and possibilities making him feel as if he's drowning. Starscream looks into Prime's optics and flinches. Optimus is staring at him differently now, that hard look in his optics gone and replaced with a deep sadness that seemed endless in the blue of his eyes. Starscream stared hard at the cave floor, his frame shuddering as confusion works its way into his panicking processor. He's seen that look in Prime's optics before, seen it multiple times over the course of the entire war, but he doesn't understand what it means, what it is–

Pity.

Starscream felt as if he'd been slapped on the face.

"I," Starscream snarled out, the words coming before he's even aware, "am not something to be pitied!" Starscream's wings jerk forward, slicing into the air.

"Oh, 'he beats you!' what's the big deal? He–He–" Starscream gasps hard, his processor dull and clouded as his optics itch and burn while the thought that this shouldn't be happening thisshouldn'tbehappening Ihavetofight I have to fight repeats over and over in his helm.

"I bet you're no different! I bet you beat your team too! Every one of them! You–you degrade them the same way and–and–you're no different!"

Dead silence fell.

Starscream stood there heaving. Optimus shifted slightly on his knee and stared at the ground.

Optimus's helm shot up, a blazing fire in his optics.

"I have made many mistakes. Sometimes, I can lose sight of what's in front of me in the name of the greater good. I sometimes believe myself to be nobler and greater than I truly am, losing sight of the fact that I am just a mech. Sometimes I let those who wish to hurt the people I care about walk away alive out of my own sense of righteousness. However," Optimus stares into Starscream's optics, that blazing fire and anger in the Prime's optics still there, but not directed at him, Starscream realized with a jolt.

"I do not beat my team. I never have and never will. I would rather be deactivated and left to rust than raise my servo or my words against them. I strive to pull my team together, not to pull them apart and break them. They serve me not out of fear, but out of love. We are friends, and friends don't hurt each other that way."

Optimus moved closer, his arms wrapping around Starscream.

"You need a friend."

The light in the cave was faint, lit only by their blue and red optics, but Optimus noticed it nevertheless. It was faint and he had to take a second good luck to see it, but it was there; the faint sheen of coolant prickling in the corners of Starscream's optics.

Coolant dripped down Starscream's faceplates as he began to weep. Optimus moved forward, pulling Starscream close before he could protest and holding the crying Seeker to his chest. He isn't aware of how much time he stays like that, weeping while wrapped in Optimus's arms. All he's aware of is the warm rumbling of his engine and the calming, soothing waves coming from Optimus's field.

He isn't aware when the cave is lit up with a brilliant green glow and dirt is blasted against their frames, wind blowing out from the rushing roar of the groundbridge opening on the other side of the cave.

He isn't aware when Ratchet comes through, optics wide and field blaring shock at the sight of him weeping in Optimus's arms.

Ratchet stares at Optimus, a thousand questions running through his processor and ready to spill out of his mouth. Slowly, Optimus turns around, and Ratchet freezes. A deep sadness is in Optimus's optics, but with it there's a faint glimmer of hope. Optimus gives a small smile and strokes a servo down Starscream's back. Ratchet nods, his legs feeling weak as Optimus rises to stand and gently carries the Seeker in his arms.

Starscream is only faintly aware as Optimus gently readjusts him in his arms and steps through the brilliant green glow of the groundbridge, the light consuming them.

For the first time in a long time, Starscream felt alive.


	2. The Return to Base

Starscream's signal was a harsh angry thing.

His spark pulsed in time with his rage as Ratchet watched his signal weave through the narrow canyon. The cuffs had done a good job of not only restraining him, but also tracking him, it would seem.

"What a mess," Ratchet muttered. The rest of the team sat behind them, moving awkwardly around the base as Starscream's signal loudly pulsed on. Optimus stood beside Ratchet, his optics locked on Starscream's blinking signal and his frame tight and stiff.

"Optimus?" Ratchet asked, turning to stare at him.

Optimus looked down at Ratchet, and Ratchet froze.

Optimus had gotten that look in his optics, a look Ratchet had seen a thousand times before and would probably see a thousand times again.

Ratchet knew what Optimus wanted to do.

"Optimus, _no._"

The lone signal beeped on the computer. Optimus glanced at the groundbridge.

"I am going back for him," he said.

Ratchet watched Starscream's signal as it drifted through the rugged canyon, a harsh and erratic beep pulsing in time with Starscream's whirring spark.

Ratchet drew his servos up into fists.

"What—but why? Optimus, he's Starscream! He killed one of our own! He's the reason I've had so many patients all these years. Why go after him?" Ratchet sputtered. The rest of the team went quiet and stared at Optimus.

Starscream's signal beeped on, drifting through the canyon. They didn't have much time—the cuffs were strong, but they wouldn't last forever. Soon Starscream would get them off, soon he'd fly away, and soon he'd fly out of their lives for good.

"I know all of this," Optimus said, narrowing his optics at the blinking signal.

"Then why?" Ratchet asked, the team gathering behind him, their fields twisting in shock and worry and anger, so, so much anger.

"Because if I don't try and save Starscream, no one else will. I _know_ that we are his last hope."

"What, his last hope to sink his claws into us?"

"His last hope to be happy, Ratchet. He could help us win this war, I know he can. He held great control over the Decepticons, and he did not end up in that position for no reason," Optimus said. Optimus's field was a massive thing, an enormous cloud of emotion and energy gathered around his giant frame, slowly and calmly weaving around him. A flare of determination suddenly flared in his calm field, parting it and pulsing outwards.

Ratchet sighed and felt grief pulse in his own field. The lone signal on the computer kept on blinking as Starscream kept on moving along.

"Let him go," Ratchet said, feeling more tired than he had in years.

"I can't. You know I can't, old friend," Optimus said, a sad smile on his face.

Ratchet nodded, a sinking feeling settling into his gut, and activated the groundbridge.

Optimus drove through. And Ratchet waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He wasn't expecting much at all—he was expecting to see Optimus coming out of the groundbridge, his frame dusty and soiled and a tightness in his shoulders. He was expecting to see Starscream's signal disappear as he shook off his cuffs and flew away, leaving nothing but Optimus's disappointment behind in his wake.

"Why are you like this?" Ratchet muttered, watching Optimus's signal chase Starscream's. "What's even the point of all this, anymore?" Ratchet mumbled, tired to his core.

Optimus's signal and Starscream's blinked rapidly on the screen, looping and whirling around one another. Ratchet watched, exhaustion settling deep into his struts—

And then the signals disappeared.

The rest of the team clustered around the computer screen, their concerned voices rising over one another.

"I knew it—"

"He needs backup—"

Ratchet just stared at the computer screen. And stared. And stared.

The rest of the team gathered around him, their distressed shouting incredibly loud in the silence left behind by the absence of the signal's beeping.

Ratchet watched the screen, his spark pulsing in his chestplates as the rest of the team fought behind him. He will not remember what they fought about. All he will truly remember from this moment was the map laid out on the screen, a dozen twisting canyons and crevices, and not a single life signal amongst them.

"Oh, Optimus," Ratchet said, panic fizzling in his field as fear clenched around his spark chamber.

"Something happened. Should we go check it out?" Arcee said, her arms crossed.

_"What if Starscream invited the Cons and they ambushed Optimus?"_ Bumblebee beeped, his doorwings fluttering nervously.

Bulkhead was silent and wringed his servos together, his field huge and blaring worry.

"Both of their signals disappeared, so if something happened to Optimus, then something happened to Starscream too," Ratchet said, a thousand possibilities racing through his helm. "An avalanche probably happened," Ratchet breathed. "Something happened that blocked out their signals—like that one incident with the cave."

Arcee and Bulkhead winced as Ratchet turned on the groundbridge, sending a bridge directly into the last place Optimus had been. He turned on the bridge, watched it flare to life with a brilliant green light, felt the wind rush out of it, and he waited.

"Optimus isn't coming through," Bulkhead pointed out, his armor clenched tight to his frame.

Ratchet mumbled under his breath and turned off the groundbridge, slamming down on the lever. He typed in a set of new coordinates, braced himself, and created a new bridge.

He sent a comm out through the bridge and felt it travel through the swirling tunnel of light and out the other end.

He heard no comm in return.

On it went. Ratchet entered in the coordinates for a new bridge, everybody tensed up, and then he slammed down on the lever. The groundbridge opened up. No one came out and no comms came calling through. He shut the groundbridge, and entered in a new set of coordinates, over and over again.

The main room of the base constantly kept lighting up and dimming as the groundbridge constantly opened and closed, sending harsh blasts of wind across their frames and bits of dust and dirt swirling through the air. Ratchet watched the map, waiting for a signal to appear, and saw none. He entered in a set of coordinates, his field tense and drowning in worry, and slammed down on the lever once more.

The groundbridge opened again.

The comm crackled to life. _"Ratchet,"_ Optimus said.

"Optimus! What happened?" Ratchet shouted, relief and terror flooding his field. The rest of the team gathered around the computer, holding their breath.

_"There was an avalanche and I am in a cave. You should come here,"_ Optimus said, slowly and cautiously.

Ratchet felt confusion and frustration seep into his field. "What? Are you injured?"

_"Please come,"_ Optimus said. A chill went down Ratchet's back. There was something strange about the way he spoke, something off in the way his voice crackled through the comm.

The rest of the team looked at him, confusion filling their fields. Ratchet nodded and quickly grabbed his medical supplies, bursting into the groundbridge.

Brilliant green lights swirled around him and a powerful wind ripped past Ratchet's frame as he shoved his way through the bridge. Someone's powerful EM field sizzled and crackled, so distraught that Ratchet could feel the distressed field brushing against his own as he raced through the hissing static of the bridge.

Optimus was in pain. Optimus needed help, he could feel his distress, his panic—he did not know what happened in that cave—one moment he and the rest of the team were crowded around the computer, watching Optimus's signal give chase to Starscream's, and then suddenly both of their signals had disappeared, and now—

Ratchet jumped out from the groundbridge and into the cave. Dust swirled in the air and the tang of spilt energon hung thick around him. A distressed EM field wavered and flickered within the cave, raw with panic and—

Grief.

So much grief.

The moment he emerged into the cave the frazzled and distraught EM field blared out, briefly overwhelming him as he stumbled up to Optimus. He flexed his servos, ready to transform them into medical tools and treat Optimus in any way he could—

Optimus was… fine. The Prime stood there, his blue optics lighting up the narrow cavern and illuminating the swirling particles of dust. Optimus looked at Ratchet, and his field was calm and smooth.

Ratchet's optics widened. A fresh flare of grief briefly burst out from the distraught field again, wavering with a thousand years of pain, and Ratchet looked down.

Starscream was in Optimus's arms, energon dripping down from a huge gash in his wing and with raw despair pouring out from his field.

Optimus was silent as he stood there, silently stroking the shaking Seeker's back, careful to not spread around the energon splattered onto Starscream.

Shock flooded Ratchet's own field and he opened his intake, ready to ask a million questions—

It was weak, but Ratchet felt it.

A flickering emotion escaped from Starscream's frothing and roiling field. It briefly leapt out from Starscream's frame, zinging past Ratchet's own field before dissipating in the dusty air. Ratchet's breath caught in his intake as Optimus continued to stare at him, a sad smile spreading across Optimus's faceplate.

Starscream's field was a wavering mess of raw grief and regret clashing together, but through the hissing static and the despair, hope flared out from Starscream's field. It was a faint and whispery thing, a brief burst of emotion in the storm that was Starscream's emotions, but it was there.

Ratchet shut his intake with a click. Optimus nodded and walked past him into the groundbridge, Ratchet following right behind.

The blinding light of the groundbridge whirled around the two of them, the wind rushing past and the green glow of the bridge lighting them up in harsh contrasts. Hot static and roaring wind deafened Optimus and Ratchet as they walked through, Starscream prone in Optimus's arms, his frame reflecting the bright flashes and colors swirling around them.

Through the bright lights of the groundbridge tunnel and the sound of the hot roar of the wind, Optimus could see Ratchet look over at him, his bright blue optics piercingly bright in the green glow of the bridge. The wind of the bridge screamed past, bringing with it clumps of dust and clouds of dirt from the cavern behind. Optimus tightened his grip on Starscream, the brilliantly bright lights flashing and reflecting off of the energon leaking down Starscream's wing.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Ratchet was saying, his voice stolen by the rushing wind. Optimus inclined his helm and looked out at the other end of the bridge. He could faintly see the main room of the base and the blurry and hazy forms of his team waiting beyond. Ratchet looked at Optimus, Starscream's field radiating raw grief as it hovered between their frames, static racing across their plating.

Optimus and Ratchet walked through the groundbridge and into the base.

The rushing wind stopped blowing immediately. Optimus blinked, letting his optics adjust to the lack of light, and he looked out into the base.

Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Arcee stood waiting on the other side. Their optics shot down to look at Starscream lying prone in Optimus's arms. They jaws dropped and shock radiated through their fields. Their fields brushed against one another, making hot static race across Optimus's frame. Starscream shifted in his arms, his own field deep and heavy with grief. Their frazzled fields brushed against his, flaring with surprise and worry with a faint undercurrent of raw anger flowing through.

Optimus stood there, felt the frayed and confused edges of their fields brush against his, and he walked right past them.

Starscream shifted in his arms, a long river of energon pouring out of a deep gash in his wing. The team stepped aside to let him past, Starscream's wing dripping and leaving behind a bright blue trail of energon behind on the floor. Ratchet silently rushed ahead to prepare the medbay, the only sound the quiet ivents of their frames and the clattering of Starscream's armor against Optimus's as he shifted in his arms.

Optimus walked around the corner, felt three pairs of watching optics on his back, and walked right into the medbay, Starscream and all.

* * *

Optimus shut his optics. He could feel the rest of them waiting just around the corner. Their fields mingled and mixed together, filling the air with a hazy, staticky charge rife with worry and anxiety and a faint undercurrent of anger, raw ranger.

Optimus let out a heavy sigh. Starscream laid on the medical berth, his systems humming faintly as he recharged. A long weld line stretched across the plane of his wing and chunks of dried energon stuck to his transformation seams.

"Optimus."

Optimus turned around. Ratchet stared at him from the doorway, his field blank and expressionless. A sudden pulse of anger floated in from the main room of the base, a brief flicker of emotion that suddenly appeared before winking out.

"Ratchet. You did a good job welding his wing, I am sure that he will be back to flying in no time," Optimus said. Ratchet sighed heavily and he grit his dentae before stomping over to Optimus, swinging a servo out and pointing at the unconscious Seeker on the berth.

"Why is he here? Optimus, you chose to—to bring the second-in-command of the Decepticons here! To our base! Our very secret base, where no Decepticons are allowed?" Ratchet huffed out, his armor clanking together as frustration blared through his previously calm and expressionless field.

Optimus took one last look at the healing Seeker before stepping out of the medbay, Ratchet muttering as he followed after him. Three other pairs of angry optics met him. All four of the other members of Team Prime stood there staring at him, the air thick with the static of their angry EM fields.

"How could you do this?" Arcee said, her voice thick with barely restrained rage.

Optimus walked into the main room as Bulkhead, Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Arcee watched on, their fields tight and stiff around them.

"I have chosen to give Starscream a second chance," Optimus said.

"Optimus, what—?" Bulkhead sputtered.

Bumblebee beeped and whirred. _"You know what he's done to us!"_

"He's just going to kill us too!" Arcee said, marching right up in front of Optimus.

"I understand that I have made a very controversial decision; however, I feel that it is for the best of the team if we gave Starscream a chance. He knows the inner workings of the Nemesis and he can help us defeat the Decepticons with his knowledge. He understands Megatron," Optimus said, closing his optics as his team members began to shout.

"But Prime, he understands Megatron so well because… well… he kind of is Megatron!" Bulkhead said.

_"Who do you think taught Starscream to be so cruel?"_ Bumblebee beeped.

Optimus frowned. "Now that he has been removed from Megatron's presence, he will understand that the treatment he suffered under his servos was not normal at all."

"How about the way we have suffered under his servos? All his crazy schemes and weird plans? His freaky claws?" Bulkhead shouted, waving his servos.

"He knows what it's like to kill Autobots beside Megatron!"

"He understands what it's like to be hit by Megatron, too."

"What, he revealed himself to be the killer of one of our own, and you insist on going after him? To retrieve this Decepticon, and for what?" Arcee ground out.

"He has a name. He is Starscream."

"Oh, so you'll say Starscream's name, but not Cliffjumper's. Remember just the murderer and not the victim, is that how it is now?" Ratchet huffed out.

Starscream stirred in his recharge and mumbled as he turned over in the berth, curling up as his bandaged wings fluttered behind him.

Optimus looked at Starscream as he slept, his optics softening. "He is a victim, too."

They all stopped and stared at Starscream for several moments. Starscream shifted around, revealing a long claw mark that stretched down his back. It was an old scar, a dark grey discoloration hidden in the seams of his armor—and then Starscream shifted again, his plating moving to cover the old scar again. Starscream's grimaced and he twisted in his sleep, his plating briefly shifting to reveal another long dark scar across his abdomen. It was only visible for a second, but they all saw it nevertheless.

Bulkhead, Ratchet, and Bumblebee stood behind Arcee, their own fields blown out wide with shock and anger. Bumblebee's blue optics were wide and bright. Bulkhead kept looking back and forth between the seething two-wheeler and Optimus.

Arcee fumed, her optics flashing as she crossed her arms. Bulkhead kept on frowning and rubbed at the back of his neck cables with a servo. Bumblebee stared off into space, his optics rapidly expanding and contracting as his processor whirred in thought.

Ratchet sighed and leaned heavily against the wall. Specks of dirt and dust floated in the air and coated Optimus's pedes, leaving behind dark trails on the floor.

"You can't save him," Ratchet said softly. Starscream shifted in his recharge again.

"I will try."

"You couldn't save Megatron, so now you're trying to see if you can save Starscream, is that it?" Ratchet said, his voice so low Optimus's audials strained to hear it.

"I know what you're thinking. What if I fail? What if I am not successful in reforming Starscream, what if I am not successful in helping him become a better mech who can help us? What if?" Optimus said.

"He's going to tear you apart. Remember Megatron, and how you begged him to see reason? And how well that turned out?" Ratchet said.

Starscream shifted again on the berth, briefly revealing the long claw marks again.

"I remember, Ratchet. I remember that very well. Except when we were in that cave, I was not begging him to see reason. He was begging me for help."

"Starscream was begging you for help? Really?" Bulkhead said.

"Really," Optimus said. "You can see it in their optics. Broken and jaded mechs looking for a way out. A way out of the war, a way out of misery, or even a way out of Megatron's clutches. And who am I deny someone a second chance, someone who clearly just wants to escape?"

"Escape? He's no different than Megatron," Arcee shouted.

"No. He's better than Megatron. He's done terrible things too, but still. Megatron imprisoned him and I suppose getting trapped in that cave was what was needed to set him free."

Ratchet dragged his servo down his faceplate, his field dark and heavy around him. "Why go through so much trouble for someone so arrogant, someone who thought himself to be so far above one of your soldiers that he killed that soldier? We won't accept this!"

Optimus sighed, slow and deep and heavy. He stared off into space, a calculating look in his optics, the same looks he gets whenever he's best planning how to win a battle. The machines of the medbay beeped and whirred in the background.

"Starscream will be staying in the medbay. I know this will be difficult, but if Starscream succeeds in reforming, then we can—"

"I looked into his dead optics and saw nothing but pain!" Arcee shouted, her wheels spinning angrily on her back.

"Starscream is not dead. He lives, and Ratchet will treat him—"

"I wasn't talking about Starscream, I was talking about Cliffjumper!"

The entire base fell silent. The only noise was the quiet whirs and beeps of the medbay machinery.

"But you could've been talking about Starscream as well."

Arcee frowned, her field twisting in confusion.

_"Optimus, what are you talking about?"_ Bumblebee asked.

"He's dying on the inside," Optimus said, shaking his helm.

"He probably tortured Cliffjumper!" Bulkhead said.

"Yes… perhaps he did suffer as he passed into the Allspark. But I know for certain that Megatron has been abusing Starscream terribly for a very, very long time now as well."

"You will not win us over so easily, Optimus," Ratchet sighed.

"I know."

"He told he us what he had done."

"Yes."

"He admitted to killing one of our own, how could we—-? How could we let that pass, Prime, how could we accept him and let him replace Cliffjumper?" Arcee said. Cliffjumper's name echoed out into the medbay, the rolling syllables of his name floating into the air.

Cliffjumper.

Starscream.

Starscream lived, and Cliffjumper did not.

Starscream shifted in his sleep, his vents whirring quietly in his recharge. Energon dripped down from his wing in a slow continuous drip.

"I am going to give him a second chance," Optimus stated.

"He doesn't deserve it!"

"You're right. He doesn't. But I will give it to him nevertheless. The choice is up to him what to do with it."

The machines of the medbay kept on beeping and whirring. Energon dripped from Starscream's wing.

"I will… do my best to fix him," Ratchet said. Optimus nodded and clapped a servo over his shoulder.

"Thank you, old friend."

Ratchet sighed and went back to checking Starscream's vitals.

"Fine then. You all can go ahead and tolerate him. But make no mistake, _I_ won't tolerate him." Arcee transformed and raced out of the base. The distant sound of her engine revving and her wheels screeching drifted through the main room.

Bulkhead shook his helm and stomped away while muttering. Bumblebee walked over to Optimus.

_"Are you trying to avenge him? Do you think… do you think that maybe getting Starscream to regret killing him will somehow avenge him, in way? Make him feel awful about his death? Is that what you are trying to achieve here?"_ Bumblebee asked, his voice soft and quiet in the wake of Arcee's rage.

"Bumblebee…" Optimus sighed, staring into the medbay. "I must admit that there are reasons I saved Starscream that not even I am aware of. Perhaps I am doing this out of some sense of guilt for Cliffjumper's death. Perhaps seeing another mech dying right before me was enough to inspire me to action. Perhaps."

_"I think… I think that what you're doing here is honorable. I don't think this will work, Optimus. I really don't. But let's try. I wonder if Cliffjumper would've been proud of us."_ Bumblebee beeped.

The sound of Arcee racing down the highway echoed into the base.

"...I wonder about that, too."

* * *

_Starscream ran through the cave, his vents heaving as his energon dripped out onto the ground. He could hear the angry shouts echoing through the cave behind him. Starscream looked back, his optics wide and bright. All he could see was the blue glow of energon washing over the mining equipment. More energon fell from his wound, adding their blue glow to the glow of the energon._

_Starscream sat there, his frame heaving. He shook as hot pain pierced his back. He could still feel the cold glint of the sword as it had sliced upward, narrowly missing the delicate sensors and nerves beneath his plating that housed his spark chamber._

_"I'll get him for this," Starscream grumbled. The distant sounds of drones mining away faded into nothingness as he descended deeper into the cave's depths, energon dripping down onto the ground. Starscream took his pede and smeared his blood into the dust, his wings twitching as the distant sound of running pedesteps echoed across the cave walls._

_Starscream slipped away from the main room, shakily clambering away into a side passage. He leaned against the wall and yelped in surprise as the rocks fell away from under him, sending him sliding to the floor. A crack formed in the cave, shining a bright blue glow. Starscream's optics widened. He looked out over the cave. No one was there. He turned back into the crack and gulped as he slid into the narrow crack in the cave wall, his optics widening as he emerged out the other side._

_Everywhere he looked, the glow of even more energon._

_Everywhere he looked, he saw potential._

_Starscream raised his shoulders, his wings high on his back as he looked out over the massive mining complex. Megatron may have won this battle, but Starscream knew he was the true winner here. The bright blue glow of energon cast everything in a deep blue light. This was what power felt like. Looking out over all that you have strived so hard to build and knowing that yes, this is just the beginning._

_This branch of the mine was completely untouched and was entirely devoid of miners and equipment. No one knew this was here. And no one had to know, either._

_"Yes! Finally, a stroke of fortune! What are the chances? Yes, I could use this energon for my own stash."_

_An image of Megatron flashed into his processor, his bright red optics leering at Starscream from the dark. Starscream frowned. A cold feeling began to work its way through his struts._

_"No, this plan will work. It has to. It needs to." Starscream mumbled, his talons clenching into fists._

_"This—now this'll work. A stash of my own energon here, a stash there, and Megatron none the wiser. He doesn't need to know about this vein." Starscream laughed, his field flaring outward. His back was piercingly hot with pain, yet that didn't matter—it was the potential before him that mattered here._

_"He just needs to cool down first. All I have to do is make sure there's enough energon here to last me." Starscream walked further down into the passage, a cold feeling working its way through his struts._

_He was alone. He knew this. And yet—_

_Starscream's helm whipped around. He looked out into the dusty air, and he saw nothing._

_Starscream snorted and shook his frame, holding a talon to his back as it bled more. It did not matter. It didn't. All that mattered was the potential of the energon before him, the power before him. He could keep all this energon to himself._

_"Oh, Starscream," a voice said from the dark._

_Starscream's wings shot upright. The sound of rocks falling and being shifted aside rumbled behind him. His spark pulsed in his chestplates, his plating locked up, and his field blew out wide in a hiss of static. He turned around._

_Megatron was watching him. The light of his bright red optics reflected across the energon crystals, refracting the deadly red glow all across the chamber. Something moved behind Megatron. Soundwave watched him from the shadows, his violet visor blank and still. Starscream looked into his visor and saw his own reflection, his frame bright blue with spilt energon and his wings covered in deep scratches._

_"Milord," Starscream said. He didn't even put any thought into the word, it just came stumbling out as his spark pulsed even harder in his chestplates. "I found a new vein for you, milord, all for just you and the Decepticon cause."_

_Starscream edged away, pressing his talon even harder against the bleeding wound in his back. Hot wet energon welled up between his talons. Megatron's talons still had his dried energon on them._

_Megatron stared. "I see. It is good to watch you finally support the cause and not your selfish ambitions for once."_

_Starscream's shoulders slumped and a great gust of air came out of his vents as his shoulders sagged. "Yes, of course," Starscream said, his entire frame loosening as pure relief washed through his systems. "Of course."_

_Megatron walked closer and stood beside Starscream, making the Seeker's spark leap in his chestplates. A cold clammy feeling suddenly spread throughout his struts._

_"Such a rich vein. It would be a shame if it were to be lost."_

_"Oh, yes, milord, that would be terrible. But I'm sure the drones won't mess up for once—"_

_"Such a shame. Such a shame," Megatron said, walking closer and closer to Starscream, forcing the Seeker to walk backwards._

_"Which is why—!" Starscream began as his wings twitched. More energon dripped out from his back. For a moment something violet flashed in the corner of his vision, but when Starscream looked, there was nothing there. "Which is precisely why I plan on the entire army getting to benefit from the power this energon will provide."_

_Megatron was silent._

_**"All I have to do is make sure there's enough energon here to last me,"** a voice said._

_Starscream froze. That voice that had spoken just now sounded exactly like his._

_Soundwave stepped forward from the shadows. **"A stash of my own energon here, a stash there, and Megatron none the wiser,"** Starscream's voice recording said._

_**"A stash of my own energon here—"** the recording repeated._

_Megatron began to walk forward._

_**"No, milord—"** Starscream gasped out._

_**" —a stash there—"** the voice recording spoke out._

_Megatron sneered, the glow of the energon glinting across his fangs._

_**"—and Megatron none the wiser."** The recording finished._

_"Pathetic." Megatron sneered as his talon grabbed ahold of Starscream's neck cables. He hoisted Starscream up into the air and wrenched him forward till Starscream's wide-eyed faceplate was only mere inches away from his own. "Right after I punish you, you continue to indulge yourself in more trickery."_

_"Trickery?! How is finding more energon trickery?"_

_"You are never alone. Never. Soundwave is always near, and he is my audials and my optics. I know of your plans!" Megatron tossed Starscream up into the air and across the chamber. Starcream slammed into the opposite wall, sending one of the jagged energon crystals right into his open wound. All of the air in his vents came rushing out of him in a harsh stuttering gasp as Megatron strode forward._

_"No, no wait—" Starscream gasped out as sparks flew out from his frame, the bright flashes of light getting reflected across the crystals and making the narrow cave flash over and over again._

_"How many times must we do this, Starscream?"_

_"I did not betray you! I was merely musing to myself on how... how useful this mine would be to you, yes! You didn't see what you thought you saw!" _

_"Starscream, Starscream, we both know that's a lie."_

_Starscream scrambled across the jagged rocks, his vents coming in hot and fast. Starscream ran into the depths of the cave, skid around a corner, and came to a dead end. His optics widened and raw terror flooded his field as Megatron's massive pedesteps shook the ground. He lashed out with his energon covered talons and slashed and slashed over and over again at the rock wall before him, desperately hoping there was another hidden chamber behind it._

_Starscream offlined his optics. Megatron drew nearer and nearer. He could feel his wound bleeding even more now. Starscream sighed, a deep and heavy sigh that shook his entire frame. There was no point in trying to escape._

_Megatron's arm shot out and he grabbed ahold of the tip of Starscream's wing, tightly shoving the Seeker up against the wall with his massive talons._

_"I know you were planning on using this energon from yourself! You can never escape from me, Starscream. Never. You will always come back to me!" Megatron growled, his hot vents grazing the side of Starscream's helm. Starscream froze in his grasp, his talons weakly trying to pry away the thick warlord's arm from around his waist. "I suppose I'll have to tear your wings again… apparently, that's the only thing that keeps you tame."_

_"No, milord, I promise it won't happen again—"_

_Starscream's optics widened as he heard one of Megatron's talons transform into a sword. His jaw fell as he felt his abdomen light up with hot agony. The delicate sensors and nerves of his abdomen split and tore and snapped away as Megatron's sword sliced through them. Megatron threw him to the ground and loomed over him, raising his pede and bringing it down hard upon his chestplates. Starscream yelled as he felt the struts within his chest break and snap, as felt his inner mechanics shear and tear away under the weight the pede, as he felt a hot lance of pure agony shoot through him as Megatron crushed his sparkchamber—_

_Starscream laid there, his entire abdomen and back a waterfall of energon as Megatron leaned in even closer._

_"I am always wiser. You will always come back to me. Always."_

* * *

Starscream woke up. His frame shook and rattled as he took in deep vents, his wings clattering against the berth beneath him.

Starscream shook his helm and screwed his optics shut. "Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare," he breathed out, his field expanding outward, cold with fear.

A voice murmured in the distance and he froze, slowly turning his helm and looking out at the medbay. The Autobot base was dirty and filled with a blend of Cybertronian and human technologies clustered together. Starscream blinked, looking out over the medbay as it shifted and blurred before him. He groaned and propped an elbow beneath him, sitting up—

Something yanked him back down. Starscream grunted, annoyance flaring in his field at the chains around his wrists.

"What is the meaning of this?" he growled out, straining against the chains.

"Well, we couldn't just let you stroll around, now could we?" a voice said. Ratchet came in through the door, watching Starscream's vitals on a computer nearby.

Starscream blinked, his memories hazy and confusing. He had been in the Harbinger with Airachnid, she betrayed him, then the Autobots had arrived, then he was in the canyon. Beyond that, everything was a blur, a hazy memory of falling rocks and bright red and blue armor.

"He's awake, unfortunately," Ratchet mumbled to somebody. Heavy pedesteps resounded through the air. Starscream froze.

Optimus Prime walked around the corner and Starscream felt a hot jolt of panic flood his systems.

He remembered now—the falling rocks, the collapsed cavern, rocks above him, Optimus wrapping his arms around him.

"You need a friend," Optimus had said, his voice and field warm.

Hot shame flooded Starscream, the memories rushing back to him. He remembered pacing through the narrow cavern, energon dripping painfully from his wings, with even more painful words being exchanged back and forth.

"Calm down," Ratchet said. Starscream's spark pulse erupted into a frenzy of panicked beeping.

"Just calm down," Ratchet repeated. Starscream recoiled, straining against the chains.

"Calm down? Wha—I'm chained to a berth, and you're telling me to calm down?"

"Starscream," Optimus said, approaching the berth. He was tall, incredibly tall, and Starscream couldn't help but flinch back as he approached. Optimus stopped immediately, a sudden frown crossing his faceplate as he watched Starscream. He wasn't sure why, but Starscream got the feeling that he had done something wrong.

His spark pulse lessened and the rapid beeping faded away. Ratchet took a deep vent of relief, grumbling something about "pesky Seekers" under his breath. He looked between Optimus and Starscream before clearing his intake.

"Well. I'm on my way out," Ratchet said. Starscream jolted. For some reason, the idea of the medic leaving him alone with Optimus worried him.

"No, _wait—_"

"I'll just be out here," Ratchet said. As he walked away, he exchanged a look with Optimus.

Suddenly, there was silence. The only sound was the quiet beeping and whirring of the medbay machines and the slight rattle of Starscream's chains.

"Optimus," Starscream said. His glossa felt thick in his intake and he shifted in the chains, feeling the cool, lapping waves of Optimus's calm field brushing against his frazzled one.

"Starscream," Optimus said, inclining his helm. "Let me tell you a story."

Starscream blinked and looked over at Optimus. "A story? What, like some Autobot fable?" he laughed. He normally had a plan for all sorts of situations, but storytime with the Prime was new.

Optimus blinked, narrowing his optics at Starscream.

"Not quite. I had a friend. He was… quite a lot like you in many ways. He was bright, passionate—"

"A good flyer?" Starscream said nervously, twisting his servos around in the chains.

Optimus frowned, shaking his helm. "He wanted to go off and do great things, meet great bots, and do all sorts of adventurous things. He looked out at the stars and wanted to go to every single one of them."

Starscream shifted on the berth, the chains clinking as he turned to look around at Optimus. The Prime stared into space, a distance look on his optics and his field drawn tight by grief.

"He was a great friend."

"Why are you telling me this?" Starscream said softly, a deep sense of unease settling within him. Anxiety bubbled up and sunk through his frame as Optimus stared on.

"Because it needs to be told. And because the two of you are very different bots, yes, but you are still very similar in many ways. He wanted to go and visit every single star. He burned up in them. I do not want that to happen to you," Optimus said, looking at Starscream. The Seeker flinched and looked away, anxiety rising sharply in his field.

"That… was a terrible warning. Was that supposed to be a threat, a warning to snuff my spark if I do something wrong?" Starscream scoffed, flicking his wings behind him in agitation.

"No. I gave you that warning to save your spark. I have watched countless mechs and femmes burn themselves up and lose themselves in this endless war, and I do not want the same to happen to you. I think you have potential, Starscream."

Silence fell. Starscream opened his intake to say—something, he wasn't sure what—but closed it.

From up close, Prime was huge, this towering monolith of red and blue armor with piercingly bright blue optics. To Starscream, that was what Prime had always been; a threat, a massive mech, and one of the hardest hitters on the battlefield.

But now that same massive mech was seated in front of Starscream on a nearby crate. Optimus was looming above Starscream, as he always had so many times before—but there was something different about the Prime. He couldn't tell what, but there was something off in the way he moved and the way he looked at Starscream.

Starscream scrambled through his processor, trying to find something, anything to say—but he came up blank.

"I meant it, you know," Optimus said softly.

"Meant what?"

"That I would be your friend."

Starscream froze. "Wha—Oh... _oh_." Starscream mumbled, the memories returning to him. He remembered the dust floating in the air, the rocks surrounding him, throwing all his barbed words and anger and frustration at the Prime in his rants—and he remembered Optimus's promise.

"That's, uh," Starscream said, anger blooming up in his field. He should be able to find something to say to that, some way to twist the situation to his advantage, he should be able to read Prime like a book and figure out every little thing he's thinking.

But he just couldn't. Optimus sat there, his field smooth and calm as it flowed around him, an unreadable look in his optics

"If you prove yourself to be trustworthy, then you can become an Autobot."

Starscream's spark pulsed in his chestplates. "It would be quite the upgrade from these chains," Starscream said, twitching on the berth. He craned his helm and looked down at the Decepticon insignia on his chestplate, the bright red finish glinting in the light of the medbay. A brief burst of anxiety suddenly twisted through him, memories of writhing in pain as the hot brand was burned into his chest coming back to him.

Optimus watched him in the corner of his optic, his smooth and calm field twisting strangely again.

"I could be useful," Starscream said suddenly, the chains clinking as his processor went into overdrive. Bots lived and died based off of how useful they were. That was something Megatron had taught him. "I can do scouting missions and can find energon. I can assure you, I won't give you a reason to dispose of me." Starscream rambled out, his processor in overdrive and Primus, was he trying to prove his usefulness to Prime? That's not how this was supposed to go—

Optimus frowned, his field growing tighter around him. Starscream grimaced, fear welling up in him. He had faced down Megatron and had faced down much more brutal Autobots before; he could handle Prime. He took a deep invent, felt the chains rattle and the gritty dust from the cave sliding around in his transformation seams, and waited for Optimus's response.

"I see," Optimus said, his field twisting strangely again. He turned around to face Starscream, and there it was again, that wrong feeling of offness, the sensation that something wasn't right. "Is that what you still think?" Optimus continued, grief pouring into his field, and—pity.

That was the emotion, the source of the strange twist in Optimus's field, the strange look in his optics.

"I…" Starscream began. He was not used to pity. He was used to the acidic smell of distrust lingering in mech's fields when he passed them by, the stench of disgust that would pulse in their fields when he begged for his life before Megatron. But pity, that strange emotion that made mech's fields wrench around and echo in grief—he was not used to it.

Starscream thought of the cave. Optimus had felt pity then, and it had been overwhelming. The sheer weight of it had crashed down over his helm, and Starscream remembered breaking under it. He couldn't remember the last time someone felt bad for him, the last time someone looked at the blood pooling under his still frame and thought this isn't right.

"I don't know," Starscream admitted. He'd met huge mechs before, walking collections of armor and weaponry, huge mechs he'd cower and shiver under as they looked at him. But when Optimus looked at Starscream with that sadness in his optics, Starscream did not know what to feel.

Starscream thought of the cave, dust swirling around him as he cried in Optimus's arms. Hot shame flooded his frame again.

"You will not be disposed of because you are a person. People are not disposed of the same way trash is. I am better than that. _We_ are better than that. Even if our attempt to integrate you into our team ends in failure—an outcome I dearly hope will not come to pass—I hope that you will walk away from us feeling better about yourself."

"Oh, of course," Starscream scoffed, his wings fluttering behind him, "this all just one big charity mission, isn't it? To prove yourself better than the Decepticons?" he said, feeling the dust and dirt of the cave rattling around in his frame, sliding between his plating.

"No, it's more than charity. Because how can we expect to defeat the Decepticons if we are no better than them? What does that say about them, that they cannot even properly treat their own soldiers with respect?"

The name hung unsaid in the air, an image of a silver warlord and burning red optics flashing into Starscream's processor. Something was moving around by Starscream's servo and he craned his helm to look down, his optics widening.

"Are you—?"

Optimus loosened the chains around both of his servos. They fell away and Starscream shot up, rubbing his wrists as he stared warily at Prime. He ran a scan over his systems and saw that his weapons were disabled.

"I think that it is alright for you to be unrestrained as long as you are being supervised."

Starscream got up and stood right beside Optimus, his wing brushing against the berth. Starscream looked down and saw a dark grey patch covering the gash in his wing.

"But why?" Starscream said, his wings nervously slicing through the air behind him.

"Because you need a friend. And I cannot afford to let another bot burn themselves out," Optimus said, his field twisting in pity again. "It's time for you to meet the others."

* * *

The command deck was quiet.

Far too quiet.

Megatron stared out the viewport and at the dark rolling clouds beyond. His frame was lit up by the harsh violet glow of the computer consoles and the bright flashes of lightning beyond the glass.

Soundwave stood in the corner, his visor reflecting Megatron as he stared out at the shifting storm clouds, a frown on his scarred faceplate.

Over millennia of warfare, one learns to read their commander, and Megatron was like an open book. His field was practically nonexistent, held tightly to the sharp curves of his armor, his piercing red optics stared out at the rolling clouds.

Something was wrong. The air flowed differently and there was something strange about the way Megatron held his shoulders. An odd sense of offness that lingered in the air and in the way the drones moved around him.

"Where is he?" Megatron said, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife. Thunder boomed in the distance and lightning flashed, the light reflecting off of his sharp talons.

Soundwave knew who Megatron was talking about. And he did not know the answer.

Megatron scowled, walking down the bridge and over to Soundwave, the drones nearby tensing up as he approached. "He should be back, this was a relatively simple mission, and yet he is not here."

Soundwave tilted his helm. A life signal was approaching the doors to the command deck. He could feel her field all the way from here, all haughty and arrogant and self assured.

"This is not unusual. Not at all. It is normal for him to have his temper tantrums, to flee, only to inevitably return to my side later on—yet it seems he is now taking his time," Megatron growled.

Soundwave inclined his helm. Airachnid stood outside the doors to the command deck, his thousand cameras scattered through the Nemesis watching her every moment as she confidently strode up to the doors. He'd seen the way she swayed before, the self-assured smirk on her faceplates and that glint in her optics. He'd seen many, many mechs and femmes with that confident look, that look a bot has when they feel like they have the whole world in their servos. He'd seen that glint in their optics and he could see it in hers.

He wondered if he would see it go out.

The door slid open. Megatron whirled around.

"Where—?" Megatron boomed, inches away from Airachnid. She didn't flinch and remained perfectly still as the warlord loomed in front of her. A mistake. "Where is he?" Megatron continued, his voice slow and tight. His field briefly thrashed around him, smothering everything in a hiss of static.

"Ah, yes, Starscream. That traitor." Airachnid began, idly inspecting her servos. Soundwave watched her examine her own frame, confidence and arrogance oozing from her transformation seams. He wondered if she'd ever get to transform again. "He—"

"Where is he? Do not lie to me, wretch. I am well versed in the ways of treachery, all thanks to _him_!" Megatron growled, pacing around the bridge, his servos clasped tightly behind his back.

There it was again. That subtle feeling of wrongness infusing the air again, a slight sensation that something just wasn't right. This was not the first time Starscream had fled and lost his command post, only to return and reclaim it again. Soundwave could not understand why Megatron allowed the Seeker to keep crawling back over and over again, yet he respected his Lord's wishes nevertheless.

Starscream would vanish, vowing vengeance, and would return again. And Megatron was hardly ever concerned; he would stand at the viewport, Starscream would flee, and he would wait for the Seeker to come. He would stand tall, he would wait for him to return, and await the inevitable assassination attempt. He was hardly ever concerned at all about Starscream's disappearances.

But now—the way Megatron loomed over Airachnid, the way his plating shifted and the way his optics flared—Megatron sensed the offness too. Soundwave could tell.

"I am so sorry to say this, milord," Airachnid continued as she skittered around, her voice dripping with false honey as she sounded out the word milord. "But I am afraid that Starscream perished. We had retrieved the Immobilizer, only for the Autobots to arrive. It was all very confusing, you see, and I tried to defend him—"

Megatron's servos creaked as he twisted them into tight fists by his sides.

"—I _really_ did—"

Megatron's optics grew brighter.

"—but I am sorry to say that the Autobots got him in the end. I am so sorry, milord," Airachnid said. She frowned and her field twisted around her in some false attempt to imitate sadness. Soundwave had seen much better acting skills than that.

Apparently, so had Megatron.

He slammed a fist down onto a nearby console, sending glass flying off into the air with a burst of light and sound.

"You dare lie to me? I want the truth, and I want it now. What happened to Starscream? Where is he?" Megatron growled out, looming above Airachnid.

"I—"

"Milord?" A drone said from the other end of the bridge.

Megatron's helm swiveled around to face the drone, a scowl on his faceplates. "What is it?" he snapped out.

The drone shriveled under Megatron's piercing glare. "Milord, it's just that—the Autobots have raided another mine."

Megatron stood there, his field frothing and seething with rage. Airachnid shuddered and stepped back, inching her way to the door, a strong undercurrent of relief and frustration coursing through her field.

"We lost mine D-12, milord. It was not one of the major mines, but it was still a rather large deposit," the drone shook out, his armor clanking against his protoform.

Megatron returned to staring out at the rolling clouds beyond the viewport, Airachnid long forgotten. "Of course. My second-in-command is missing, and the Autobots are getting ambitious again. Do not let them claim that mine."

Soundwave nodded and sent a message to the head miner to prepare for combat. As a squadron of battle drones raced through the groundbridge Soundwave turned to look at Megatron. He'd returned to standing at the head of the deck, the raging storm outside matching his wrathful field as it twisted around him.

That subtle feeling of offness did not go away. Something was wrong. He had a feeling that this was no regular vanishing act, nor was it another petty temper tantrum. Something was off with Starscream.

Airachnid began to leave. Megatron's arm shot out and a massive bolt of energy exploded from his fusion cannon. It burst through the air and slammed into the wall inches away from Airachnid's helm. She froze and watched the wall melt away in a hot-red puddle of slag.

Megatron stared at her from across the room, his bright red optics glowing in the dark like hot coals. Airachnid shivered and hurriedly pressed the open button before practically running out of the doors as they slid open.

Yes, something was wrong with Starscream. Megatron could feel it and so could Soundwave.

And Soundwave would figure out just what was wrong.


	3. Prove Yourself

"I thought there would be more humans," Starscream said, his optics scanning every inch of the grungy base.

"_What? How many humans did you expect?"_ Bumblebee beeped.

"Oh, dear," Starscream said, grimacing as he looked at the dirty couch the Autobots got for the kids. "A couple hundred or so."

"A couple _hundred?_" Ratchet scoffed.

"What? You Autobots just can't get enough of the little fleshbags... hmm, no, you're right. I suppose that is an unreasonable number of humans to expect you to have adopted..." Starscream sighed, stroking his chin.

"See? Thank you," Ratchet sighed.

"Three hundred seems much more likely."

"_Three hundred—?!"_

"That is quite enough, Starscream," Optimus said as he walked into the main room.

"So it's time for my first mission, then?"

Optimus nodded. "We want you to lead us to the mine you have decided to give us the location of. Your weapons and Decepticon frequencies have been disabled, so be careful to not get into any fights. There might be company."

Starcream grumbled and stretched his arms. His arms have felt stiff and tight ever since his missiles were pried off of them and his blasters deactivated. Arcee glared at Starscream and turned away. Ratchet watched him from the other side of the room, a cautious look in his optics.

"Be safe," Ratchet said as he activated the groundbridge, looking at Optimus. Starscream knew the well-meaning wish wasn't directed towards him.

The groundbridge lit up with a flash and sent a harsh burst of wind out into the base. Starscream looked into the green swirling depths and took a deep breath. He didn't know if this mine had been entirely abandoned, he didn't know if they had begun to mine there, he didn't know if _he _would be there—

The Prime put a servo on his shoulder and looked at him.

"Autobots," Optimus said as everybody transformed. "Roll out!"

"Uh, wait," Starscream said, lifting a single servo. All of the bots transformed back into their root modes and looked at him. Optimus looked curious and everyone else just glared at him.

"So, do I roll out too? I don't exactly have wheels, you know. I mean, I do have wheels, but they're just for taking off into the air. Do I just walk out into the bridge or… do I transform into a jet, or what exactly am I supposed to be doing here?" Starscream shrugged.

Ratchet just dragged a servo down his faceplate as Bulkhead snickered. Optimus thought for a moment. He turned around, his battlemask snapping shut over his faceplate once more.

"All bots, transform and head out!"

Starscream nodded and transformed into a jet. All of the bots drove out into the groundbridge with a flurry of activity, their wheels screeching as they raced ahead.

As he started up his engine Ratchet stepped closer to him.

"I'm watching you," he said, his field tight and stiff.

"I know."

He flew through the groundbridge.

* * *

He could feel their animosity. The Autobots all stood in the forest clearing while staring at him with thinly veiled contempt.

"There was a mine here, but it was abandoned after it got too unstable. Perhaps we can still harvest the remaining energon if the cave has not decayed too much since then. Spread out to make sure we find all of the deposits. Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Arcee, you will search the west. Starscream and I will scan the east."

The rest of the Autobots nodded, glancing at Starscream before transforming and racing away. As the sound of their engines died down in the distance Optimus looked down at Starscream.

"We need to talk."

Starscream frowned. This was it. This is what he was waiting for. Optimus transformed and drove off as Starscream transformed and took to the air, whirling in the sky high above the ground as Optimus drove along below, obscuring the Prime with his winged shadow. At any moment, the Prime would interrogate him on all the locations of the mines and all the inner workings of the Nemesis, and he would be forced to provide. He didn't know how much of his information was still relevant. The location of the Nemesis was an ever changing thing and the hidden codes that kept their data locked away would surely be changed once his treachery was discovered. Optimus drove on below, his field roiling around him contemplatively as Starscream braced himself for the barrage of questions.

"How are you?"

Had he been in his root mode, Starscream would've blinked in surprise.

"...Uh, what?"

"How have you been ever since I brought you back to base?"

He thought of the cave he and Optimus had been trapped in, the rocks looming in uncomfortably close and Optimus's words looming in even more uncomfortably.

He had expected derision, scorn, a base full of hostility. Starscream got a lot of that from the other Autobots, yes, but there was something... different about the Autobot base. Something about that small and grungy Autobot hideaway made him feel differently than the way he felt when he still walked through the sleek and advanced halls of the Nemesis. When he woke up at the Autobot base, for the first time in a long, he felt...

Content was not really the word. Neither was fine, because he was most certainly not fine.

_Safe._ That was the word.

Safe.

Starscream gulped and flew higher.

"It has... been all right, Prime," he said awkwardly, twisting away higher into the clouds until Optimus was a blue and red metal sheen far below.

"And what is the status of the Decepticons?"

"Pffft, we've just been endlessly searching for energon, same as you are. Although we have been building a new space bridge, that should come in handy soon."

He hesitated. "I am glad to receive information about the status of their cause. How are… they?"

"I don't understand the question," Stascream scoffed. "Do you mean the soldiers themselves? The Decepticons are the same as they've always been. Rude, temperamental, cruel—"

"He was not always like that," Optimus said softly.

Starscream kept on flying, a sense of unease working its way into his spark.

"We are not talking about just the Decepticons as a whole anymore, are we, Prime?"

Optimus was silent below.

"I wish to know what Megatron is like nowadays. I only ever seen him upon the battlefield now. I do not know how much he has changed and if this war is affecting him as much as it has affected us." _As much as it has affected me, _Optimus thought, the words unspoken. "Do you think he could ever see reason?"

Starscream did not say anything. He thought of Megatron standing imperiously at the helm of the bridge, angrily growling the word _Prime_ under his breath as the Nemesis cruised on and on in their endless war.

"You do not need to speak. I already know the answer."

"...He was better, once," Starscream admitted, because Primus, there was something off in the way that Optimus spoke, a hint of melancholy and longing that should not be there and that Starscream just didn't know what to do with.

"Once. But what is he like now?"

"What do you really want to know about Megatron, Prime?"

A massive mining complex loomed before them, completely surrounded by rusting and decaying mining equipment.

The sky darkened as storm clouds blew in. A massive basin loomed ahead of them, Optimus's engines straining as he struggled to drive up the hill. Starscream twisted and twirled in the air like a vulture circling dead prey.

Starscream snorted. "Seems we put in all this effort just to find a bunch of scrap. And I'm not sure why you care so much what Megatron does to discipline his soldiers. I was expecting you to be more interested in the good stuff, the locations of the working mines."

"I care because I want to know how he treats those who have pledged themselves to him. I want to know how he treats _you._"

His engine sputtered and his wings wobbled as he flew away farther into the clouds.

"I... uh, I see."

Optimus drove over the crest of a hill and transformed. Far down below were even more abandoned remains of a mine. Drilling equipment was scattered all over the ground and the air smelled of spilt and expiring energon.

"I just want to know what has become of—" _my brother _"—the Decepticons in all these years."

Starscream drifted in and out of the dark grey clouds, the red biolights on his wings glowing like red stars in the darkening sky. "Are you sure you really want to know what has become of him, Prime?"

_Megatronus had been a good mech. He remembers how he and Megatronus had looked out over Cybertron—_

"He's cruel, Optimus. What did you expect me to say? Just an angry warlord who wants to see the Pits rise up with strong soldiers at his beck and call who can meet his insane demands."

"And… what does he do with the soldiers who have difficulty meeting his demands?"

He fell down from the sky and transformed in mid-air, landing down hard atop the ridge beside Optimus. Starscream frowned and turned around while pointing a talon at his back. A long gash ran down right between Starscream's wings.

They stood there in silence.

"...I see," Optimus said, shaking his helm as he walked over to the mine. Starscream began to walk down into the mine and his leg slipped, making him slide down a few feet. Starscream yelped as Optimus put a servo on his shoulder and steadied him, guiding him forward.

"Let's see what you've found, Starscream."

Optimus helped him down and looked out over the mine. He walked past the abandoned and rusting mining equipment and retraced the steps of the miners.

"There is nothing here," Starscream said.

The corpse of a dead drone was splayed out on the ground, a long gash across his chestplate.

"What happened here, Starscream?" Optimus rumbled. He did not kill this drone. Neither did any of the Autobots, either. These lands were new to them. All of this was new to them.

Starscream looked over at the corpse and shrugged. "Nothing," he repeated.

"Who deactivated this drone? Something happened here, Starscream, and I would appreciate it if you cooperated. Did you deactivate this miner?"

"No, no, not me," Starscream said, something strange in his voice. "Megatron killed him."

"But why?"

"Why not? The drone had made a mistake as we were clearing out the energon here. He had to prove himself worthy to the Decepticon cause, and he messed it all up. So…" Starscream said, brushing the dust off of his frame as he approached the prone gray frame of the drone. He frowned, his field buzzing with boredom and some other emotion Optimus couldn't make out.

"He killed him," Optimus said. Not a question. A statement.

Starscream rolled his optics. "Yes, Prime, we've covered that."

Optimus turned to look at Starscream. "What did he do wrong? And why do you consider the death of one of your own soldiers to be nothing, Starscream?" he asked softly.

Starscream crossed his arms and grimaced. "I don't remember what he did wrong. All I know is that it was enough to irritate Master—I mean, Megatron."

"You do not seem to care. You consider this to be nothing."

"Because it _is_ nothing, Prime! This kind of thing happens all the time on the Nemesis. Those who do not prove themselves worthy are disposed of. That's just how it is. It is the way of things."

He frowned behind his battlemask. The wind blew and stirred up the leaves, making them drift through the air and settle atop the greyed-out husk of the drone. Starscream tapped his pede impatiently and stared at the drone, his field roiling around him with impatience and boredom—

—and anxiety. That was the emotion Optimus felt earlier. Once upon a time, it could've been Starscream who made that mistake and who ended up getting covered up by time and nature on the ground.

_It is the way of things._

Optimus shook his helm and looked out into the abandoned and caved-in mine. He activated his comm. "Autobots, have you found anything?"

"_Nothing,"_ Arcee said.

"Come to my location. This mine had decayed too much to safely mine from. The Decepticons have failed to clean up their remaining mining technology. We cannot let it fall into human hands."

"Why did you send your other soldiers away, Prime?" Starscream said.

"To look for any other potential mining sites."

"I know there aren't any, Prime. I've been here a hundred times. It's very unlikely that there are new mining sites we didn't already detect. So why did you send your soldiers away?"

"Because I needed to talk to you and I needed to find out just what has happened to Megatron."

"Are you surprised to see what Megatron has done, Prime?" Starscream said, his red optics piercingly bright in the coming gloom.

Optimus looked at the husk. He knew Megatron was a tyrant. But to see the evidence of his tyranny laying before him…

"It is the way of things, Prime," Starscream repeated softly, his field hissing with static and a tiredness that goes back centuries. The headlights of the Autobots reflected across the curves of his frame as they arrived and all transformed.

"Autobots, we must destroy this mine. It is far too unstable to let remain," Optimus said, stepping past the drone's frame and giving it a wide berth. Their optics widened once they saw the drone.

"_Are you sure we should destroy this place, Optimus? There really is absolutely nothing here we salvage?" _Bumblebee blooped.

Optimus looked out over the rusting equipment. The drone's rusted pedes lingered in the corner of his vision. Starscream nervously looked around, his frame tight with anxiety as he relived old memories. Optimus could tell that they were not happy ones.

_Megatronus had been a good mech. Optimus remembered the way he looked down over Cybertron, bursting with ambition and ideas for a better future_—

He looked at the abandoned and rotting drone, killed by Megatron's servo for a minor and forgotten mistake.

"There is nothing left here," Optimus said. _And there is nothing left of Megatronus, either,_ he thought, grief filling his field.

He and all of the Autobots transformed their servos into blasters and fired as one into the dark depths of the cave, bringing it crashing down. Past the cacophony of blaster fire and the sound of rocks tumbling Optimus saw Starscream standing off to the side, his optics wide as everything was turned to dust.

"This mission is over. It is time to return to base," Optimus said as he commed Ratchet. A brilliant green groundbridge appeared over the ground, sending clouds of dust flying everywhere. The Autobots ran through it, looking over their shoulders at Optimus as he stood silently by the collapsed mine. Soon it was just him and Starscream.

"What are you waiting for, Prime? There's nothing left here."

Optimus thought of Megatronus and the way he had laughed—

"No, you are right. There is nothing left."

They walked through the groundbridge together.

* * *

The image was frozen on the screen.

A blurry picture of a white mech standing beside a larger red and blue one was blown up full-size onto his computer console. Soundwave had been through this routine a hundred times before. Starscream would go run off, and he would have to go slinking after the wayward Seeker and reign him in before his Lord. That was how it had always been. This was nothing new.

In the picture, Starscream was trying to walk up the hill while looking out over the abandoned mine. Yet the other mech in the picture—

—was Optimus Prime. He leaned over Starscream...

Not attacking him.

But _helping _him.

That was new.

Soundwave tilted his helm and continued to stare at the strange picture, his long thin digits frozen above the keyboard.

Lord Megatron would not be pleased.

He always got in a bad mood whenever he and his second-in-command got into one of their little spats, but Soundwave could always tell his Lord enjoyed it when the pathetic Seeker inevitably came crawling back to him.

Except, this time—

Optimus Prime held Starscream's shoulder in the picture, stopping him from sliding farther down the hill, his servo stabilizing Starscream's back.

Prime just never made things easy.

He got up and walked down the hallway. The bright violet glow of the main room poured out into the hallway. Lord Megatron's massive spiked shadow loomed on the hallway wall.

Soundwave had given him status updates like this a hundred times before. He'd show Lord Megatron a picture or a video of Starscream, he would clench his talons and shout something, and then he'd sternly stare outside into the void of space as he waited for the opportunity to beat some sense into his rogue second. He walked up to Lord Megatron as he stared intently at a group of computer consoles. All of the drones around him tensed up, their anxiety pouring into the air like hot static.

"Soundwave, come. What have you found?" his Lord said, turning around.

Soundwave internally sighed and brought up the image onto his visor.

"Ah, yes, there is the fool. What has he gotten himself into this time—" Megatron abruptly stopped talking, his optics widening and his field flaring out in a hiss of static.

Megatron just stared at the image.

And stared.

And stared.

"...Soundwave," he said very, very slowly.

The drones all around the bridge were looking at them now, their red visors bright with surprise as they looked at the image on Soundwave's visor. The unmistakable forms of Optimus Prime _holding _their second-in-command burned itself into their processors. They nervously glanced over at Lord Megatron.

The warlord was frozen. He just stared at the image, his optics impossibly bright.

"He…" he began, his talons clenching and unclenching at his sides. "Traitor," Megatron whispered, his voice so soft only Soundwave's audials heard it. "Traitor! That _wretch!_" Megatron shouted.

His fusion cannon lit up with a hum and all of the drones in the room fell to the floor as one as Megatron blindly fired out onto the bridge. A single drone was not so lucky and collapsed as the bolt tore through him, his smoking husk falling to the floor.

"That pathetic fool is with _him_, how dare he go crawling to _Prime_, and not to _me!_" Megatron seethed, his voice dripping with acid as he sounded out the word "Prime_._"

Soundwave said nothing as Megatron stomped across the bridge, his fusion cannon smoking and his optics blazing as his field writhed and coiled around him like an angry hurricane.

"First Optimus takes the Primehood from me, but now he has taken my second. And Starscream, that… _traitor…_ I had tolerated his mischief and disloyalty before, but this treachery goes beyond that." He shook his helm, his entire frame shaking with rage as he stood at the peak of the bridge and looked down over the earth below, perhaps hoping to catch a glimpse of Starscream flying down below.

He would not see Starscream. He wouldn't see reason, either.

"No, no maybe this was a mistake. Perhaps Prime has seen it fit to abduct Starscream for his own purposes. Perhaps he plans on using him in some way..." Megatron continued, his frame twitching as his optics turned a deeper and darker shade of red.

Megatron whirled around. His optics had a bright and savage look to them.

"Figure out if he was captured or if he went to Prime willingly. Find him," Megatron commanded, his optics twitching as his fusion cannon lit up again. "Find. Him."

Soundwave nodded and stepped off the bridge. The sound of Megatron screaming in rage as he fired off round after round from his cannon echoed after him as he returned to his computer console.

* * *

"This is a mistake," Bulkhead muttered as he drove into the base. Miko leaped out of him as he transformed back into his root mode.

"Starscream just isn't a good idea, 'Cee." Jack sighed as he walked up to the mezzanine. Arcee shook her helm and crossed her arms as she looked out into the hall where Starscream's room was.

"Optimus is just too nice for his own good. For _our _own good," she muttered.

"He's not too scary… right?" Rafael asked quietly. Bumblebee beeped reassurances as he patted him on the back.

"Oh, he's bad all right! He's tall! He's got missiles! He's got claws!" Miko shouted, wildly waving her arms.

"He's _killed," _Arcee hisseed as she nodded along, her gaze locked onto the hallway she knew Starscream was in.

"—and he's got these insane _Louboutin_ _heels_—"

Arcee blinked.

"Wait, what?" Jack asked, twisting around to stare at Miko.

"He has high heels!" Miko yelled.

"What's so special about having heels that are high_?" _Bulkhead asked.

Ratchet just sighed.

Rafael walked up to Arcee and poked her leg. "But you'll get him to be better, right? You'll convince him that what he did was wrong?" Rafael asked.

Arcee just growled. She wanted Starscream and his murderous talons out of the base as quickly as possible. She remembered burying Cliffjumper, the way the dust just blew away into the wind as she dug his grave and put him there so that he could become dust too. But there was something strangely hopeful about the way Rafael looked up at her. Bumblebee made a quiet clicking noise and glanced between her and Rafael.

_"...Maybe," _he finally beeped, his wings fluttering. _"Or maybe not. I trust Optimus! Maybe he'll get Starscream to become an Autobot."_

Arcee tensed up. She had seen Cliffjumper's corpse, all cut up and spilling violet energon, glowing with death —

Bulkhead shrugged. "I hope so! I don't want us to waste our time on that Con—er, _former_ Con, for nothing. I don't know what Optimus was thinking… I think he'll just betray us."

"Once a Decepticon, always a Decepticon," Ratchet muttered.

"Is that so?"

Everybody's heads whipped around. Starscream was watching them from the hallway, his bright red optics shining within the shadows. Optimus stood beside him, watching the Seeker.

"I did not know the children would be here so soon," Optimus said, caution filling his field as he tensed up.

"_They got to leave school early," _Bumblebee beeped.

"Afraid I'll hurt them, Prime?" Starscream said.

Optimus narrowed his optics.

"Relax, I'll leave them alone," Starscream said as he walked past them, Optimus's optics locked onto his back. "What's so weird about my heels?" he muttered.

They walked back to the large storage room the Autobots had converted into his bedroom. They called it his "room," but Starscream knew a cell when he saw one. The door was always locked, they brought him his energon, and he wasn't allowed to leave it without an Autobot present.

"Good night, Starscream," Optimus said.

"I didn't traumatize the humans too much, at least," Starscream mumbled as he kept on walking back to his room, his wings twitching behind his back.

"They are not as bad as you think—"

A loud noise rang out.

Starscream whirled around, his optics blown wide and his vents coming in harsh gasps. His arms strained as he struggled to transform them into his blasters, error messages appearing all over his flashing HUD telling him his weapons were disabled.

"What is wrong?" Optimus said, leaning into his vision. He raised a servo to place it on Starscream's shoulder and the Seeker flinched away, jumping backwards. Optimus froze.

Starscream stared off into the shadows where the noise had originated from. Megatron couldn't have found him, could he? The Autobot base was hidden, not even Starscream knew where it was, there was no chance Mega—no, he would not even let himself think his designation—his former Master could find him here, right? He couldn't possibly be here, he couldn't possibly—

"Sorry, sorry," Bulkhead said, awkwardly shuffling into view. He was holding a tower of wooden crates leaning precariously to one side. A single crate sat on the floor, scraps of metal spilled out all around it.

"I needed that, Bulkhead! Stop dropping stuff!" Ratchet growled as he ran up to him.

"It was just… it was just you?" Starscream breathed out, his wings fluttering behind him as his spark continued to pulse in his sparkchamber. Optimus just watched him, silently observing him.

"Yeah, I just dropped this junk."

"Bulkhead, it's not junk! It's…" Ratchet began to say until he looked over to Starscream. His words died in his intake when he saw Starscream standing there, his wings shaking slightly.

"Starscream—" Optimus began.

He ran into his room, dropping the door shut behind him.

"—there is nothing to fear," Optimus finished, sighing.

Bulkhead shuffled nervously. Ratchet and Optimus just stared at the door.

"Let's go," Ratchet said softly as they continued walking.

Optimus stood there, his entire frame drooping as a heavy sigh left him. "There is nothing to fear," he quietly repeated.

Starscream sat in his room and stared at the wall. His spark still pulsed in his chestplates as he brought up the map of the globe onto his HUD. Ten locations of ten mines hovered over the map, their coordinates strewn out for him to see. Starscream bit his lip.

"I can't just give them all the mines, can I?" he mumbled to himself. The vast mine D-16 shone brightly on his map. "Megatron would know. Megatron would be angry. And if he finds me…"

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

"...No. No," Starscream mumbled, shaking his helm, "If he finds me, he'll be angry at me for giving the Autobots the mines I have already given them… but if I give them the location of one of our largest mines, and Megatron then finds me afterward—"

Starscream stared at the ceiling, his mouth opening and closing.

He stared at the map deep into the night.

* * *

"_Do not disappoint me," Megatron said._

_Starscream fluttered his wings as he walked beside Megatron. His arms still ached from when Megatron had grabbed it and wrenched it behind his back. That was in the past, though. It was just a simple punishment for a little mistake he made, a mistake he definitely would not make again. Starscream couldn't remember what he had done wrong to anger Megatron, though. It seemed he did a lot of things to make Megatron upset. Megatron couldn't remember what he did wrong either. But the war had just gotten started for real, and Megatron was just stressed out a bit. That must be the answer. He knew Megatron wouldn't hurt him anymore._

_The snow kept falling down and freezing in his plating. The last time he'd been on such a cold planet, he'd been with a certain shuttle—_

_He would not think about that._

"_I won't disappoint you again, Master," Starscream said, his optics scanning the dark snowy horizon as he looked out for Autobots. It was pitch black and a thousand stars shone above. Only their red optics lit up the cold dark night. Another day in the war, another battleground. He couldn't remember the name of this planet—all he knew was that it was just some icy world where the Autobots had landed. This would be the world he'd prove his worth to Megatron on, he just knew it._

"_Master, I have several ideas on how to improve your fusion cannon—"_

"_Not now," Megatron ground out, his talons clenching into fists._

_Starscream shut his intake and continued to scan the snowy horizons for signs of life._

_Something shifted off to his side. Starscream whirled around and pointed his arm at it. "There!" he shouted, running toward it._

_Suddenly, the ground collapsed beneath him. Starscream yelped as he tumbled down an icy slope. Something sharp slammed into his hip, making him cry out as he came to stop at the bottom of the snowy hill. Hot wet energon seeped out from his wound and onto the snow, making it steam and hiss in the dark night._

_He could only see the snow. Everywhere he looked he saw snowflakes whirling around him and vast sheets of ice stretching out as far as his optics could see. _

_Fear closed in around his spark. "No, where did you go?" _

_His optics darted everywhere, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of Megatron. _

_Megatron suddenly appeared out of the dark snow. Starscream felt a massive sigh of relief blow out of his frosted vents as Megatron came and loomed over him in the gloom._

"_A-about time! Where were you? Get over here and help me, this s-snow is clogging up my wings and I think my hip—"_

"_Prove it."_

_He blinked. The snow whirled around him. "What?"_

_Megatron leered down at him, his shining red optics burning piercingly bright amidst the dark whirling snow. "Prove to me that you are worth saving, Starscream. I will not waste my time salvaging scrap."_

_His jaw dropped. "But… what?"_

_Megatron crouched down in front of the shaking Seeker. _

Oh, he's going to help me get up, _Starscream thought._

_Megatron's talons reached out and he grabbed ahold of Starscream's faceplate before violently wrenching him forward until all their faceplates were just inches apart._

"_Prove to me why I should not just leave you behind here, Seeker." _

_Starscream felt his spark leap into his throat. "No! Don't, don't leave me here, I am worth saving!"_

"_Then prove it!" Megatron shouted as he stood and kicked Starscream hard in the side._

_The snow flew everywhere as he went tumbling over the ground, his energon leaking out onto the cold white snow. The snow was closing in, he couldn't see anything through the storm, just like the time he couldn't find the other bot he once explored icy worlds with_—

_He laid there on his side, his vents heaving as he bled out. This can't be happening, this can't be happening—_

_The red glow of Megatron's optics lit up the snow. The red glow came near Starscream, making his entire frame freeze as Megatron approached. Starscream whirled around, his entire frame shaking as he scrambled backwards from Megatron's massive pedes. Megatron pinned Starscream down under one of his massive pedes and Starscream felt his chestplates creak under the pressure._

"_I—I can help you with your weapons, I can seek energon, just please don't leave me here!"_

"_Stand up."_

"_It hurts!"_

"_Stand. Up."_

_Megatron removed his pede and Starscream whimpered as he rose, the snow crunching beneath him and his hip burning in pain as he shakily stood before Megatron._

_Megaron just stared at him, disgust wafting through his field. "I do not care if it hurts. Power is pain. In order to earn power, you must first learn to endure pain. Only the strong will prosper amongst the Decepticons. The weak will be left behind. Do you understand that, Starscream?"_

_He clutched his bleeding hip, his optics wide and bright as pain shot through his hip. "I—I do," he stuttered out._

"_Good," Megatron said. He grabbed Starscream's shoulder tightly and forced Starscream to walk ahead of him. Starscream marched forward, his hip hurting more with every step._

"_Do not make me leave you behind again, Starscream." _

_Starscream nodded. He took a deep vent, ignored the pain blooming in his hip—_

_He fell to the ground and gasped as a sudden burst of agony hit him._

_Megatron's helm whipped around and he growled at Starscream._

"_No, Master, I can make it! Don't leave me behind, I can make the distance!"_

"_You will either stay strong, or you will stay _here_."_

_Starscream shakily rose to his pedes again and limped forward. "Don't you dare consider leaving me here."_

_Megatron leaned in, his breath frosting in the freezing cold night. "I learned long ago that being compassionate is just being weak. I will not be weak. I cannot allow Prime to gain the upper servo, do you understand that? You are just a liability in battle! And you will have to be left behind."_

"_What? But then how will I get back to the Nemesis?" Starscream cried out, more energon leaking from his hip._

_Megatron's engine growled. "That is not my concern. My only concern is the upcoming battle."_

_Megatron began to walk away, leaving the gawking Seeker behind in the whirling snow. Starscream's processor blanked out with panic. Is this how Skyfire felt? Is this how he felt as he'd walked away and left him behind?_

_He forced himself to his pedes again and felt something tear in his leg. Megatron was just a distant and grey silhouette walking off through the whirling snow. He vanished._

_Starscream was alone. He bit his glossa and tried not to curse as more snow fell down around him. The location of the base beeped on his HUD. He just had to get there, with or without Megatron._

"_Is this how you felt, Skyfire?" Starscream moaned as the ice collected in his joints and the wind blew harder. "Is this how you felt?"_

_He dragged himself across the snow while leaving behind a long stream of energon behind him. As Starscream pulled himself along across the freezing ground he grit his dentae._

"_I won't let myself be left b-behind ever again, not ever. I'll prove myself. I'll prove myself."_

_He continued on, completely alone. _

* * *

Starscream whirled through the air as Optimus drove along through the woods down below. This was his second mission with Prime. He only had to find the energon, that's all he had to do to prove himself worthy to the team.

_"Once a Decepticon, always a Decepticon," _Ratchet's voice said as the memory returned to him.

He growled. He wouldn't let his pathetic nightmares get to him and he certainly wouldn't let the team medic's insults get to him either. He just had to prove himself.

Starscream let his senses go wide and he scanned the ground far below, feeling every shift of the air and every change in the sky's currents as he flew.

He felt it. A powerful signal pulsed in his processor and a tingling sensation went through his frame. Somewhere nearby was energon. He could feel the energon's signals crackle through the air and light up his EM field like a beacon.

"There's energon nearby!" Starscream yelled out, Optimus revving his engines and racing after him as he burned his engine and flew off into the night. It was dark and cold and only the moon provided any light. A light snow fell from the ground and made everything appear white and grey. Far ahead of them loomed a large hill, its black silhouette towering over the forest floor in the dark.

Starscream transformed and landed right beside Optimus, his entire frame vibrating with energy. This was how it should be. Just him, Optimus, and the thrill of flight and energon-seeking. All of the other Autobots were off on their own little missions. There were no clumsy wreckers, mute scouts, or seething two-wheelers to worry about. And no Megatron—that was always a bonus.

"About time we found something! This snow is ruining everything. Let's just get the scrap and go."

Optimus nodded and the two of them began to walk to the mine when suddenly Optimus froze. He looked out over the woods, his audials pricked up and his optics bright as he scanned the trees. Starscream stood nearby and tapped his pede impatiently.

"We are not alone."

Starscream looked into the trees. The only sound was the quiet moaning of the wind and the shaking of thousands of leaves in the dark night.

A blaster bolt slammed into the snow right beside them and made it explode in an expanding ball of violet flame. Optimus shoved Starscream into the treeline as he fired out into the woods with his blaster, killing a drone and making its frame drop dead to the ground as more drones rushed out from the trees.

"Stay back, you have no weapons! I will take care of them. You stay here."

He opened his intake to protest. There was no way in the Pits he would just stand by and do nothing as Optimus fought the drones down. Optimus transformed his servo into a sword and shoved it through the frame of another drone, his optics looking out at him from across the snow as more drones rushed in. He pulled his sword out and sent a spray of energon out into the air. All of the protests Starscream had planned died in his intake once he saw the determined and deadly look in Optimus's optics.

Starscream huffed and moved back up the hill and behind the trees as he watched the Prime fight far below. The sound of firing shots rang through the night air and the bright flashes from the glowing blue barrel of Optimus's barrel left bright afterimages in Starscream's optics. He sat there and sighed, rolling his optics as Optimus plowed through Decepticon after Decepticon. He was far away from the awful fight and for that he was glad; he wouldn't have to dirty his talons with more spilt energon. Something felt wrong, though.

Something shifted behind him. Starscream froze. The trees rustled and the ground crunched as something moved through the foliage behind him. Starscream leaped up and into the air before landing down atop the approaching drone and killing it, digging his talons deep into its neck cables.

The drone twitched and then died, its' bright red visor dimming and going black. Starscream sat atop the drone, breathing in harshly as energon coursed through his frame. He stepped off the frame and kicked it away before walking off to the edge of the trees.

"Only a scout, then," he mumbled. The sound of the fight below was fading away as the fight between Optimus and the drones drifted away farther and farther into the woods.

Starscream lounged back against a tree as he waited for the Prime to finish his fight. The signal he had detected still glowed brightly on his HUD.

"Just finish them off so we can get away from here," Starscream spoke to nobody, stretching his wings as he complained. He began to get that feeling again, that sinking creeping feeling that something was wrong.

Starscream looked out into the woods and craned his helm to see where Optimus was. Faint red and blue lights flashed from far off in the woods, and even those were fading quickly. Optimus would come back, though. He had come back for him in the canyon and would come back for him again.

He lied there and clenched his fists. As the sound of the frenzied battle faded away he sat there with only his thoughts and the cold snow to keep him company. Icy lakes and snowy forest stretched out for as far as his optics could see, an icy slope right ahead of him. This was just like that planet he'd been on so many vorns ago when the war was young and he was even younger.

Starscream growled in frustration. He was doing nothing. He couldn't fight, couldn't go and see what the signal was, couldn't do a thing.

—_Prove to me that you are worth saving, Starscream—_

The words drifted through his helm.

—_If you prove yourself to be trustworthy, then you can become an Autobot—_

He couldn't just sit there anymore. He had to prove himself. He _had _to, this was his last chance at… at life, he supposed. He could not afford to be left behind. He wouldn't be left behind, not like how Skyfire had to be left behind because he couldn't handle the storm.

Sighing, he got up and scrambled down the side of the snowy cliff and into the clearing, his wing banging against a jagged boulder as he slid down the slope. He flinched as a tearing sensation shot through his wing. Energon slowly dribbled down his frame and he twisted around to see it.

"Slag it!" Starscream cursed. His wing injury had reopened. "Of course I somehow manage to injure myself while doing nothing at all," he groaned.

_"The weak will be left behind," _the memory of Megatron's voice whispered.

The snow kept falling all around him as he strained his optics for the massive red and blue frame of Optimus Prime. He was supposed to stay put, but he had to find the Prime. He couldn't be left behind again. He saw no red and blue, only the cold white of the falling snow and the dark greens and grays of the forest stretching on and on. He had to find Optimus, had to do _something—_

There was nobody there.

There was just him and the endless whirling snow, not another bot to be seen. The air was devoid of signals of any kind.

A tree shook.

Relief flooded through Starscream's frame. "Optimus?" Starscream said as he got up, his wing burning with pain. "My injury reopened, slag it! You Autobots better patch me up, because I swear, if my wing gets scratched again—"

No response.

The tree shook again as the wind blew harder. Starscream froze and looked out into the whirling snow. All he could see was the vast shape of a mountain looming before him and blocking out the starlight. He shakily lifted a talon to his helm and activated his comms. "Hello?" he asked.

No response.

"Slag it," Starscream cursed. Right when he finally decided to get up and try to help, the Prime just had to vanish.

Optimus was just gone, almost as if he'd left him behind.

"Oh, _no,_" he whispered to himself as dread coiled around his spark. He'd gotten left behind. He couldn't prove himself, couldn't stand up before Optimus, and now the Prime was gone and he'd have to find his way back by himself. Starscream activated his comm.

There was no response. He was alone.

The corpse of the drone he killed laid behind him, already covered in a thin layer of fallen snow. The drone had been alone and nobody's come by looking for him yet. The snow blew harder and the air grew colder. Starscream turned and looked up at the drone and the dark shadow it cast. "Did you prove yourself worthy, drone? Did they leave you behind, too?"

He shook his helm and kicked the ground as he walked into the cave, anxiety closing in around his spark. The signal he had detected grew stronger and stronger as he approached the mountain. A blue glow shone out from within the dark cave. Crystals of energon shone from within, but the sheer anxiety he felt closing around his spark made the discovery worth nothing. He stared at the bright blue glow of the energon and thought of the blue light of Optimus's blaster firing as it had faded away.

He was alone and abandoned and _Primus_—

"I should have known better. It might have just have all been a ruse," he mumbled to himself. Get him away from the rest of the Decepticons and leave him dependent on them, and then leave him. What was he thinking back in that cave? Paranoia consumed him. He did not like the cold, the freezing sensation of snow in your joints and in your plating.

The last time he'd been in the snow was when he was Megatron abandoned him. And the time before that he'd been desperately searching for Sky—

No. He wouldn't think about them. He _wouldn't. _And he certainly wouldn't let some snow and cold get to him, no matter how many memories it brought back.

"_You need a friend, Starscream," _the memory of Optimus's voice said as the memory of the cave-in returned to him. He remembered the way Optimus looked at him, the way his field washed over his much smaller one and glowed with concern.

...No. Optimus wouldn't leave him behind. This was no ruse. The other Autobots would, but not him. Right? He thought of Megatron's storming rage and the wrath he's been accustomed to for millennia now. He thought of Optimus, and all he could see in his processor was Optimus standing there in the cave, vast and tall and a millennia old mystery to him.

Starscream offlined his optics, and he waited for the Prime. He would not be left behind the same way those drones were. Optimus would come back. He had to come back.

Because Starscream had no one else to go back to.

* * *

He stared off into the night, the snow falling around him and into his plating. He shook it off and kept on staring at the glow of the energon until it left behind a bright blue afterimage in his optics.

_Megatron had kept walking. He'd just kept walking, he left him there kneeling in the snow, alone—_

He would not think about that.

_He couldn't see the shuttle anywhere he looked. He'd had to leave him behind. There was just snow and ice and pain—_

"Starscream, are you all right?" Optimus said as he walked out of the trees, his battlemask retracted.

He shot to his pedes and his field flared out. "Of course I'm all right! I'm perfectly fine! Perfectly capable!" Starscream snapped, forcing down the anxiety that he had felt. "Where did you get off to? It's been hours!"

"It has been 30 minutes. The Decepticons kept on attacking and it took awhile for the rest of the team to arrive. I apologize."

"I see," Starscream said, shaking the snow off of his scratched wings. The hot acidic smell of energon wafted through the air and into his vents. He shook his helm and walked toward the cave, away from the corpse of the drone he'd killed and the memories that came with it. Optimus was saying something into his comm, the snow kept falling and he could still smell the hot stench of energon. Starscream turned around to look back at the Prime when he saw the drone again.

The corpse of the left behind drone laid there on the ground, all greyed out and stinking of spilt energon.

"_Prove to me that you are worth saving, Starscream. I will not waste my time salvaging scrap,"_ a voice whispered to him, floating up from his memories.

Starscream stared into the dark woods, his frame frozen, his field thrashing with pure grief.

The trees shook, clouds floated overhead, and the world was plunged into darkness.

"Have you found anything?" Optimus said as he came up behind him.

The trees stopped shaking. The air stilled. The clouds moved past the moon, lighting up the woods.

"...A cave full of energon," Starsceam said.

There was no need to focus on the drone anymore, the dead and frozen drone that had been left behind. Starscream was not him. He was alive, and the drone was not, and that was what mattered. He hadn't been left behind. Relief poured through his frame. He had proved himself and shown that he was useful. He would last another day at least.

"This is good, Starscream," Optimus said, his optics widening as he stared into the glowing blue depths of the mine.

A strange tingly feeling rose up within Starscream. "Uh, yes. Just doing my job. I am quite good at seeking energon, you know."

The sounds of engines revving vibrated through the forest. The Autobots drove up to the cave and walked inside, their fields flaring with shock.

"This place is great!" Bulkhead laughed.

"_I guess you aren't all bad, Starscream," _Bumblebee beeped.

Arcee said nothing as she stiffly walked farther into the cave.

"This mine remains undiscovered by the Decepticons. It seems that they detected us, but not the energon. It should last us for a long time. It is getting late. We must return to base for now, we can harvest it later."

He was faintly aware of the sound of Optimus calling for a groundbridge and the forest clearing lighting up with a blast of light and air as a groundbridge opened up. Starcream gulped and walked toward the bridge. He froze at the threshold of the groundbridge and stared back into the darkness. The trees shook in the wind and the clouds floated overheard.

Starscream's helm whirled around. Something was there. The air currents shifted, the breeze lifted. Something stood there. Watching. Waiting.

"What is wrong?"

Whatever it was, it left.

Starscream kept staring off into the darkness as a shaky exhale left his vents. Optimus's piercingly bright blue optics stared at him with concern.

"I'm fine," Starscream said, walking into the bridge. He hadn't been left behind. Not yet, at least.

* * *

Soundwave watched from the trees. A single red light glowed on his visor as he recorded everything. He hummed as he watched Starscream and the Prime move along through the forest. Megatron breathed heavily on the other side of the comm line, his angry growls drifting through.

"_He must be a prisoner. He understands that the punishment for fleeing to Prime is severe. He always understood that. What a fool he is to let himself be captured... Keep observing," _Megatron spoke over the comm.

Soundwave nodded. He did not need to see Megatron standing before him to know that Megatron was shaking with wrath.

The Seeker was a traitor. Soundwave knew this. Yet Megatron was in… denial. The last time Megatron had been in such denial over a betrayal was when a certain archivist had walked away from him after a certain Senate meeting. Soundwave shook his helm. Megatron would soon see reason soon. Soundwave would help with that. And when Megatron did see reason, he would help bring the rogue Seeker in to face his Lord's wrath. No, he would not allow another betrayal to hurt his Lord again. Not after the last time.

Soundwave zoomed in on the image of Starscream's worried faceplate, recording all the while.


	4. Nightmares

_The snow fell harder and harder. A hot pain raced throughout his wing as energon seeped out from a long and jagged crack in it. He just needed to make it, he just needed to prove himself._

_Megatron was up ahead, his sharp and silver frame bright with moonlight. His red optics burned in the night as he kept walking, his entire processor devoted to the mission. Megatron was still aware of him, though. He was always aware of him._

"_Are you finished lagging behind, Starscream? The Autobots will gladly take advantage of your slow speed so that they can take you down."_

_Starscream shook his helm and stomped forward through the snow until he was right up in Megatron's faceplate, his wing burning in pain. The injury from the canyon had reopened again. "I won't let the Autobots get me, Master."_

_Megatron placed a large clawed servo atop his pauldron and looked him right in the optics, his field calm. Starscream knew what he would say next._

"_Then pick up the pace. Do not force me to leave you behind again!" he shouted, making Starscream flinch as his field stormed with rage._

_Starscream tromped forward through the snow. This was a dream—it had to be. He couldn't remember this specific mission. He'd gone following after Megatron through the snow on some wretched backwater world hundreds of times now. Hundreds and hundreds of times, it seemed. After a while, all of the memories just blurred together and only the pain remained._

_Megatron was far ahead of him now and the pain in Starscream's wing was overwhelming. He fell to his knees with a grunt, his frame shaking as hot sparks leaped out from his damaged wing and scurried across the snow._

"_Starscream!" Megatron shouted, far off and distant. His optics widened. He _would_ not allow Megatron to abandon him again. He just had to prove himself to be strong enough._

_ He'd catch up to him, and Megatron would just yell at him and perhaps kick him, and then Starscream would beg for forgiveness and Megatron would just scoff and tell him to do better because that was how it always went. Megatron was a massive, terrifying mech, yet Starscream felt he mostly understood him. He could navigate and fly around Megatron's rage the same way he could navigate the skies._

_Megatron was gone now and only the whirling snow remained. Starscream snarled and forced himself to his pedes, snow grinding in his joints and his energon leaking out into the snow. He would not be left behind again, he just had to prove himself—_

_Megatron was ahead of him, the whirling snow obscuring his frame. The blue glow from his optics lit up the snow and Megatron turned around—_

_And Starscream found himself facing Optimus Prime._

_The massive red and blue mech stood there, Megatron long gone. Optimus stood there, tall and mighty and staring at him with those bright blue optics. He put a large servo atop Starscream's shaking snow-covered pauldron, and he leaned down and looked the Seeker right in the optics._

"_Starscream," he said. Starscream didn't know what he would say next. _

_He stood there, and Starscream had absolutely no idea what he would do next. No clue. Prime was a mystery to him. Megatron had been a tempest, a violet storm of rage and wrath that he was still learning to fly through. But Optimus was unknowable. Whereas Megatron was a storm, Optimus was a still and cloudless sky, endless and calm. And Starscream had no idea when he'd _stop _being calm._

_The Autobots had finally gotten him. He still wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not._

* * *

Starscream woke up from his nightmare. He felt the vibrations within the ground as the Autobots moved around in the base outside in the main room. He offlined his optics and reached into the depths of his processor and pulled out the most important files he could. A holographic projection of the Earth appeared on his HUD, the location of every major mine mapped out onto it in bright red, their coordinates all splayed out for him to see.

Optimus would want more mine locations—Primus, he had already given the Autobots several of the locations already. But how many more could he hand over to the Autobots? Megatron did not like losing, and he would most certainly be displeased by the amount of energon slipping through his talons and heading over to Team Prime. No, he wouldn't be happy at all, and when Megatron inevitably finds Starscream—a confrontation Starscream knows that must soon happen—he will not be pleased with the amount of energon he gave away.

He won't be happy. Not at all.

He dragged his talons down his faceplate as the door opened and drew up, revealing the Prime.

"Are you ready, Starscream?"

The mines glowed brightly on his HUD, each one shining with the promise of so much potential and so much pain.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

They stepped into the main room and Starscream boredly inspected the base as Prime went off to chat with his medic. The Autobots watched him, their blue optics looking right into him as he stood there and idly tapped his pede. The air was thick with tension, a sitting energy just waiting to be unleashed. Arcee watched from within the shadows of a nearby corridor, her blue and pink optics shining brightly. Starscream rolled his optics and looked away from her. The holographic Earth continued to float on his HUD, spinning on and on, the mine locations blinking on and off and filling his vision with coordinates and numbers.

"Starscream," Arcee said.

_Ah, so the two-wheeler has decided to take the confrontational route. Interesting._

Starscream looked down at Arcee and tried not flinch as she stared right at him. "I know what you're doing," she hissed. Optimus was still busy talking with Ratchet at the other end of the room. Bulkhead and Bumblebee walked in closer, warily looking between Starscream and Arcee.

_Oh, I am not doing this again, _Starscream internally groaned, images of her sharp blades flashing in the light coming into his processor.

"And what would that be, Arcee? What am I planning?" he said as he leaned in, his voice smooth and acidic. He knew he should just walk off to the Prime and leave her be, but something in the way she tightly held herself just made his spark flare. He'd seen so many arrogant bots like this before.

"Soon Optimus will see just how pathetic you really are, and he'll stop being nice to you and just send you back to the rest of the Cons. Stop this ruse, we both know you're just here to find the location of the base."

"Hmmm," Starscream hummed, tapping his pede and casually crossing his arms. "And I suppose you'll do everything you can to convince him that he should just give me the boot?"

"Absolutely," Arcee said, her doorwings flapping behind her.

Starscream knew he should just walk away. He knew he should just let the angry two-wheeler stew in the shadows and just leave her and her rage behind. He raised his wings and took a deep vent before walking off. Maybe Optimus was ready to leave—

"I bet you killed your trine, too."

Starscream whipped around and loomed over her, his red optics brightening in the shadows of the corridor. The word _trine _reverberated through his audials and made his two dead trinebonds flare up in pain. He growled and loomed over her, images of purple and blue wings flashing in the light rising unwanted into his processor. He couldn't think of _them_, not here, not now.

"You don't even deserve to _say_ that word! You are not the first to doubt me, two-wheeler. Cliffjumper doubted me too, and we all saw where _that_ got him."

Arcee's jaw dropped. She stared at Starscream as he smirked and walked away, making hot rage burn in her field.

Optimus stood in the corner and frowned as he shook his helm.

"Starscream."

He turned around, his arms crossed and his optics bright. "Don't say anything. Just don't."

He opened his intake, preparing to admonish the angry Seeker. Starscream just looked at him, his field heavy with feelings of loss and fatigue.

"Don't you dare mention my trine, too." Starscream said, his frame tightening.

Optimus nodded slowly. The groundbridge activated and they both went through.

* * *

Starscream dropped through the groundbridge, his optics widening in surprise.

The Autobots stood there in a line, all of their blasters activated and pointing into the depths at—

Nobody. The mine was empty of other lifeforms. Drilling equipment sat stacked up all around the mine, hastily abandoned.

"I don't get it…where are the Cons?" Bulkhead asked. Starscream and the Autobots were the only life forms in the entire mine. Long towering crystals of energon stuck up all over the place surrounded by abandoned mining equipment.

"I suspect that something is wrong," Optimus said as his optics scanned every inch of the cave.

All of the Autobots had their blasters pointed out into the dusty darkness and their voices echoed into the cavernous depths. Starscream kicked a rock and watched it fly off into the void.

"Did you do this?" Arcee asked, narrowing her optics at Starscream.

"Okay, you know that not every strange thing that happens that is Decepticon-related is connected to me, right?" he scoffed.

"I don't know… you are one freaky dude, Starscream," Bulkhead snickered.

"_Dude? _Oh please, spare me the human terminology."

Optimus shook his helm. "Starscream, can you think of any possible reason a viable mine would be abandoned?"

"We abandon smaller mines to focus on mining larger ones that are much more profitable. Or maybe this is a trap. Really, it surprised me how easy it was to lure you Autobots into mines by just emptying them of miners. That's how we..." _caught Cliffjumper,_ Starscream thought, shaking his helm "...Yes. That's just how we did things."

"_Hey look, a computer!"_ Bumblebee said.

"I do not trust this place. Arcee, go through the computer records and try to find the security feeds. I do not know if this place is a trap or if the Decepticons just abandoned it to conserve their manpower," Optimus said.

Arcee narrowed her optics at Starscream before stomping off to the computer console.

Starscream scowled at the rocks. He should be out there flying and soaring, not trudging around in the dust of some mine. Although, it was probably for the best that there were no Cons here. He'd be dead weight in a fight without his blasters. He couldn't go through that again.

"At least Master—I mean, at least Megatron isn't here."

The computer console behind him lit up the dusty chamber as the Autobots turned it on.

"_You have disappointed me," _Megatron's voice said.

Starscream froze and turned around, his entire frame locked up as he prepared to come faceplate-to-facplate with _him_—

Megatron was not there. It was just a recording. The old security recording was blown up full-size on the screen. Megatron snarled on the computer, his presence on the screen just as intimidating as it was in real life. Starscream cowered beneath him in the grainy footage. The recording was glitchy and corrupted, yet the look of pure fear on Starscream's faceplate was obvious.

"Turn it off!" Starscream said. His optics narrowed and his talons clenched into fists. "Turn. It. Off."

Optimus approached, his field smooth and calm. "I am sorry, Starscream, but we need to better understand the Decepticon's movements."

Starscream rolled his optics and went stalking off to the other corner of the cave, impatiently tapping his pedes. He could feel his spark flare in his chestplates as the recording of Megatron's voice continued to berate his past self.

"_I did not meant for it happen—" _Starscream's past self yelled.

"_Is that so? You did not sabotage this mine?"_

"_No, I did not, I would never even _think—" Starscrean flinched as the sound of him getting thrown across the room played out in the recording. Bulkhead looked at him, glancing back and forth between the footage on the computer and the scowling real-life Seeker.

"Woah, he punted you like a lugball!" Bulkhead said and his jaw dropped as he watched the past Starscream get thrown through the air in the recording.

Starscream growled and stalked off farther into the cave, Optimus watching.

"_Oh, so it was just a coincidence that the cave roof collapsed onto me, is that it?" _Megatron's voice growled.

He clenched his dentae and stared at the wall.

"_Yes! I didn't know it was unstable!" _Starscream begged on the screen, the Autobots watching with rapt attention.

His wings hiked up high on his back as he crossed his arms and continued to glare at the wall. They did not need to see this, they didn't need to see his shame played out before them—

The sound of a fusion cannon firing went off.

Starscream's spark leapt into his throat.

"Megatron, _no!_" the current Starscream yelled, dropping to the floor.

Arcee paused the recording. All of the Autobots looked over.

Starscream lied down on the dusty floor, his optics screwed shut as his spark pounded in his chestplates. He could still hear the sound of the cannon's burst of energy reverberating around the cave, he could still feel the hot air seared by the blast above his helm, he had messed up again, had failed to prove his worth, Megatron was firing at him _again_—

"Starscream," a bot—_Megatron, it had to be him_—said, crouching down beside Starscream.

His talon shot out and he pushed Megatron away from him as he scrambled away through the dusty ground. Voices murmured all around him and his spark pulsed hard in his chestplates as he tried to throw himself out of the range of the next blast. Starscream pried open an optic, flinching at the sight of a massive mech looming over him again. Megatron was here, and Megatron was not happy. His blue optics were staring down at him in rage—

Blue.

Megatron did not have blue optics.

Starscream reset his optics and slowly got up and glanced around. He was still in the cave and the Autobots were staring at him, their optics wide and their jaws dropped.

A frozen image of Megatron firing with his fusion cannon at a ducking Starscream was on the computer console.

"Oh," Starscream said numbly, shakily getting to his pedes. Optimus reached a servo out to place on his shoulder.

"Starscream, are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" Starscream snarled, swatting the Prime's servo away.

He could feel Optimus's vast field crackling behind him and brushing over his wings. Optimus took a few steps back, his optics on him all the time. The rest of the Autobots began to murmur behind them.

"That sound...the cannon...that was just the recording, wasn't it?"

Optimus nodded slowly.

Starscream offlined his optics and grit his dentae. He was Starscream. He had commanded entire armies before—he would not let mere noises and memories get the best of him.

"I think it is best for us to stop reviewing the footage," Optimus said. Nobody complained.

Hot shame flooded through his frame and he averted his optics away from the team.

Optimus approached, his intake opening to say something.

"I...am... _fine,_" Starscream hissed out.

He just frowned, his field smoothly ebbing around him.

Starscream scowled and stalked off. He couldn't use his blasters, couldn't even command any respect, and he couldn't even control his stupid impulses—

He walked off into a corner of the cave, the murmurs of the Autobots following after him.

He didn't know how long he sat there. Starscream just rested and stared out into the endless blue depths of the cavern as he willed his spark to stop pulsing in his chest. He'd felt the heat of the fusion cannon brush past his frame, he saw Megatron's massive spiked frame loom over him—

And yet, Megatron was not there. He never was.

But it felt like he was there. It always felt like that.

Someone walked up behind him. Starscream froze when suddenly Optimus came into view. The Prime just stared at him as Starscream resolutely stared ahead.

"We must return to base," Optimus said.

Starscream nodded and brushed past the Prime without looking at him. He knew he couldn't look at Optimus, just couldn't look at his bright blue optics full of concern and show the Prime just how shaken he was. He couldn't be weak because the weak get left behind.

They were the only ones left in the cave. Starscream walked through the groundbridge, the words _Megatron is not here Megatron is not here _repeating in his helm like a mantra.

* * *

"_Did you see that? Did you see the way he just dropped?"_ somebot said. It was Bulkhead. Or was it Arcee? Starscream wasn't sure.

He leaned against the wall in his room in the shadows. The voices of the Autobots filtered through the crack in the bottom of the door and directly into his helm, the echoes of their voices piercingly loud in the quiet darkness.

"_The way his optics just lit up…" _Bulkhead mumbled.

"_Megatron really did a number on him," _said Arcee.

"_I feel bad for him," _Bumblebee said.

He covered his audials with his servos and growled.

"_I can't believe just a recording was able to make him freak out like that!_" Bulkhead said from the main room.

Starscream got up and kicked the wall, making a small crack form in the concrete. "I am not something to be _pitied—"_

"Starscream?" Optimus said. He stood in the doorway, his bright blue optics illuminating the dim room.

"Oh, so you have decided to refrain from the gossip, haven't you? So noble!" Starscream sneered.

Optimus just blinked and stared at him.

"_The way he shook..." _Ratchet's voice said, drifting through the base.

"Let's go," Optimus said.

"But...to where?" Starscream said as he followed the Prime out into the hallway. Their voices were louder now.

"_He was... terrified..."_ Bumblebee said.

"_He's a liability to the team,"_ Arcee said.

He turned down his audials until their voices were just faint whispers. He could still hear them.

"I don't know… He just looked so scared, yknow?" Bulkhead continued as Optimus and Starscream walked in.

All of the bots fell silent as they walked into the main room. Optimus wordlessly walked over to the groundbridge and activated it.

"We are headed to investigate the mine Starscream discovered earlier."

There was something off about the way the Prime moved.

"This late? Optimus—" Ratchet began.

Optimus turned around and he and Ratchet just stared at each other for several seconds.

Whatever he saw in the Prime's optics made him shut his intake.

"Stay safe out there," Ratchet finished.

He nodded as the groundbridge roared to life. He glanced at Starscream and then transformed before driving through the bridge.

Starscream stared after him. He could feel the optics of the rest of Team Prime on his back as he transformed and flew through.

"I am not something to be _pitied_," he mumbled as he flew into the light.

* * *

Optimus and Starscream walked silently through the snowy woods. The stars shone above and the snow crunched under their pedes as they approached the massive shape of a mountain. It loomed ahead of them, blotting out the stars.

Something was off. The way Optimus moved, the way he looked forward as they walked through the snow, all of it just read as wrong to Starscream.

"They did not like me at first," Optimus began.

"Who is 'they'? I find it hard to believe that there are Autobots out there who don't drop down to their knees in devotion to you."

Optimus shook his helm. "When I first became Prime, many felt that I was too inexperienced. Too young. Too stupid."

Starscream's jaw dropped. Optimus continued to silently walk through the woods, not looking at him. The Prime before him wasn't the stern commander he normally was. This was a different side of him, a quieter Optimus whose shoulders sagged and whose optics were dim and faint.

"I heard them talk about how I did not deserve the Matrix as I felt it burn within my chest."

"Is this going to be some feel-good story about the little bot rising up and becoming great? Did you drag me out here in the middle of the night to boast?"

He stopped walking and turned to look at Starscream.

"I brought you out here to tell you a story. I was once weak. But my friends have helped me become stronger."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Wow, the power of Autobot friendship is just so strong, isn't it?" he scoffed.

"They could be your friends too, you know."

Starscream froze and just stared at Optimus. Snow began to fall lightly around them.

"There were many bots who doubted me, but I kept pushing and pushing. They saw that I really did want to help, and so they accepted me. They helped me move past Megatronus's betrayal. Their friendship kept me going, allowing me to reach where I am today. And I know that if you stay, you will soon earn their trust and friendship as well. They will help you most past Megatron."

"Optimus… _no_. We're nothing alike, do you understand that?" Starscream laughed mirthlessly. "You were a good bot. You still _are _a good bot! I bet you didn't kill the companions of your friends."

"I did."

"What?"

The mine loomed before them now and the snow fell harder. "I walked away from Megatron on that fateful day in the Senate Chamber. I knew that he had lost himself. When the war began, I had to kill many of the Decepticons he considered to be his friends. I killed many of the Decepticons who I had also considered to be some of my friends as well, other bots who also wanted justice," Optimus shut his optics. "And who chose the worst way to achieve it. They continued to serve Megatron and would not see reason. I had no choice but to… end many of them. There's more to life than a cycle of violence. I want to see you break out of it, Starscream."

"Not again. I can't go through this again. Let's just get the energon and go—"

"I don't want to see you burn up in the stars, Starscream."

"I'm _already _all burnt up, all right? They won't accept me. They just won't. So get over it and help me...just help me dig up this energon. I'm not a good mech, Optimus."

"You could be."

Dark clouds drifted over the stars and the temperature plummeted as frost formed across their frames. Starscream said nothing as the frost fell and the ice and snow collected in his joints. He walked into the cave, Optimus following behind him.

They worked in silence as they mined the energon. He could feel Optimus staring at him, but whenever the Prime drew near Starscream would growl and just walk away. He wouldn't have this conversation, not here, not now.

The forest was perfectly still, but the air was with with his thrashing and staticky field. First he'd panicked at the mine, and now the Prime was trying to be all sentimental on him again. He kept his back to Optimus, unable to bring himself to look the Prime in the optics. The idea of making eye contact and staring into Optimus's deep blue optics made a burst of anxiety rise up within him.

A shot fired out from the dark. A section of the rock wall burst apart and exploded, sending fragments of rubble everywhere. Drones came pouring out of a side tunnel, wildly firing their blasters at Optimus and Starscream as they ran forward.

Optimus transformed his servos into blasters and sent bolts of plasma tearing through the drones as Starscream grabbed ahold of a nearby drone and slit its neck cables with his claws. They both transformed and burst out of the cave, Optimus driving through the trees at full speed as Starscream twisted and flew above the canopies.

"Now what?" Starscream yelled over his comms.

"We get a groundbridge, and we—"

The ground in front of Optimus exploded. He swerved to the side, flattening and crushing trees as his tires screeched and sent flurries of snow into the air. He rapidly transformed mid-roll, his blaster shooting out and firing at approaching drones. A single drone snuck up behind him, his blaster aimed right at Optimus's spark.

Starscream transformed and fell to the ground beside Optimus, slashing through the drone's neck cables with his talons before kicking the drone's frame aside. Starscream knelt beside Optimus, his optics widening upon seeing the multitude of cuts scattered across the Prime's frame.

"Oh, scrap," he swore, reaching his arms around Optimus's and wrenching the Prime up to his knees. "You just had to get blown up, didn't you?!"

"Bumblebee?" Optimus said as he brushed the snow from his faceplate, his optics widening as he saw Starscream before him.

More blasterfire rang out behind them, lighting up the dark woods and the whirling snow with brilliant flashes of blood red light as the two of them stumbled up and ran farther into a clearing within the woods.

"They have finally detected our energon deposit. I need a groundbridge, Ratchet," Optimus shouted into his comms. Static hissed on the other end.

Optimus frowned and whirled around, rapidly firing more bright blue plasma bolts into the trees. Dozens of bright red visors glowed from within the branches as the drones stepped out into the clearing.

"They must be cutting off the comms… I don't have my blasters, Prime," Starscream said. Optimus nodded, glancing over at Starscream. He moved in front of the Seeker, making Starscream jolt in surprise as he shielded him.

His spark was frozen in his spark chamber. He watched the drones approach as if in slow motion as they closed in all around them. Snow fell, Optimus's heavy frame heaved beside him, and Starscream watched as the drones closed in.

The Prime rapidly fired off shot after shot as Starscream stood there behind him, his frame frozen as blasterfire went off all around them. He couldn't do a thing.

"Useless!" Starscream hissed as he stared at his arms. They were completely devoid of missiles and blasters and any of his weaponry. He only had his talons, but none of the drones were close enough for him to slash at them. As Optimus fought on behind him, Starscream just stood there, the only thing he could do just avoid being shot. He clenched his useless talons into fists and his frame rattled around him as hot shame bubbled up through him.

_"—I will not waste my time salvaging scrap—"_ a voice said from within his memories.

One of the drones Optimus shot was laid out half-buried in the snow not far from him. Starscream stared at it, his energon pulsing loudly in his audials.

"_Prove to me why I should not just leave you here, Seeker," _Megatron's voice said, drifting through Starscream's helm as more blasterfire rang out.

Optimus wildly fired off round after round of plasma fire into the woods, felling one drone one after the other as he shielded Starscream with his massive frame. All Starscream could see was the dead husk before him, the dead drone, the dead bot who was too weak to defend himself and he just stared at is, his spark pulsing and his energon pumping in his audials as a violet light shone in the woods to his right and pain burst in his helm—

Optimus fell to his knees beside him, smoke curling from the barrels of his blasters as he scanned the woods. A dozen drones laid dead in the snow all around them, their bright blue energon spilt out onto the ground in large puddles that lit up the dark.

"Are you all right?" Optimus said, turning around.

Starscream just stared blankly at the drone.

Optimus got up and walked around him, inspecting him. His breath hitched in his vents.

"When did you get shot?" Optimus said, his field flaring out. Starscream blinked slowly, a shower of sparks escaping from his helm. He shakily lifted a servo to his helm and rubbed it along the side of his helm before removing his servo. It was wet with energon.

"Oh, the shot, i-i-it grazed me… _oh_."

"Starscream you need to stay awake, do you understand? Ratchet, I need a groundbridge _now,_" Optimus said sternly as he wrapped a large servo around the gash in Starscream's helm. The shot had only grazed his helm, but he still twitched and shook beside Optimus and his optics still flickered as energon leaked out from the wound in his helm.

The snow fell harder and his optics flickered. He saw falling snow and felt the cold creeping into his frame and he saw a massive frame kneeling before him—_Skyfire, _it had to be Skyfire, right? Except it couldn't be because Skyfire was dead and buried under a hundred tons of ice and the ice kept on freezing onto his frame—

"I had to leave him behind…" Starscream slurred as his knees fell out from under him.

"Starscream, stay with me!" Optimus shouted as he fired off another plasma bolt at an approaching drone.

"Don't lie," Starscream muttered, his vision blurring as more drones came closer and closer.

"Stay there," Optimus commanded as his battlemask snapped shut over his faceplate and he leaped into the battle, blaster firing and sword flashing. Starscream laid on the ground as Optimus killed the drones all around them, his vision blurring until Optimus and the drones were nothing but purple and red blurs swimming before his optics.

Shame ran through his systems as his wings lowered to the ground. He got shot, couldn't use his weapons, was too weak to stand, couldn't even use his talons—

Starscream laid there and punched the ground, making a jolt of pain run up his arm. A wave of nausea hit him, making his vision blur and crackle with static, the sound of Optimus's blaster firing a dull thudding noise in the background.

"_Pathetic," _Megatron's voice was saying._ "Just pathetic."_

Optimus killed two more drones, his sword flashing as he sliced through them.

—_he could still feel the cold glint of the sword as it sliced upward—_

Optimus glanced over at Starscream as he shoved his sword through the spark chamber of yet another drone.

"_Prove to me that you are worth saving, Starscream." _

Another drone dropped dead beside Starscream, no thanks to him.

"_I will not waste my time salvaging scrap."_

"Starscream?" Optimus asked. Starscream flinched. The Prime was crouching beside him, both his sword and blaster transformed back into his servos. All around them laid the smoking husks of drones and puddles of spilt energon.

"—we need to leave here—" Optimus was saying. The pain in Starscream's helm was so hot and intense it befuddled his audials, making everything sound like static.

"The Decepticons—we need to leave—" Optimus repeated, holding onto Starscream's shoulders with his servos.

"—_need to leave—"_

His optics widened. "Do not leave me here," he mumbled.

Optimus blinked. "What—?"

"I-I am worth saving!" Starscream blurted out. His HUD flickered and flashed and his spark pulsed hot and hard in his chestplates and the air was thick with the hot acidic smell of energon and—

"Starscream! What are you talking about?" Optimus said, leaning down so he could look the Seeker right in the optics. His red optics flickered and flashed as more sparks burst out of his helm.

"I—I am _worthy_," Starscream choked out, his voice thick with static. Optimus's faceplate swam before him until all he could see was a massive figure of bright red and blue crouched before him. For a split moment, he saw red optics staring at him. Optimus wanted something from him. Yes, he wanted something, but Starscream wasn't sure what he wanted, but he was running out of time and he could not afford to be left behind, he had to _prove_ himself—

"I won't scheme anymore, at leas-t-t, not in a treacherous way, I can _help—"_

"_Starscream—"_

"I can seek energon, y-you shouldn't leave me behind because I am g-good at that at least!"

"Why are you acting like this? Did the shot hit your processor?"

"Do not—_Do not—" _Starscream glitched out as hot sparks and energon spilled out of the burning cracks in his frame.

"Starscream, what—?"

"I am w-worth saving! Please don't crush me! _Do not leave me here the same way _he_ left me_ _behind!_"

Optimus's optics widened and his plating flared open. Starscream's staticky field crashed over him while radiating waves of pure terror and desperation. His red optics flickered and flashed before he fell forward, his small frame stumbling against Optimus as he jolted and shuttered violently.

"Starscream—"

"I'm worth k-keeping a-ar-around, Meg—" Starscream glitched out, his sparking helm buried between Optimus's windshields.

"Stay with me here, Starscream," Optimus said as he pulled Starscream's sparking frame closer. He sent out another comm into the wind. _Do not finish that name. Do not say the name I think you are about to, _Optimus thought as Starscream's helm bled out before him.

"—Megatron. I'm worth k-k-keeping," Starscream said, his voice so soft and so staticky Optimus's audials had to strain to hear it.

Optimus stayed silent and held Starscream closer. He offlined his optics and rested his helm on top of Starscream's.

"Oh, Megatron, what did you do to him?" he mumbled.

The drones were dead. The few that remained drove off into the night, their engines revving off in the distance. A violet light glowed in the trees.

The air rumbled as a groundbridge opened and Ratchet rushed out of it. His optics widened as he looked down at the bleeding Seeker on the ground and the energon dribbling out of his helm. Optimus and Ratchet helped Starscream to his pedes and through the groundbridge as Starscream's optics began to grow dim.

A violet light glowed within the woods. Soundwave watched everything.

* * *

Jack shook his head. "I still think think you should just get rid of Starscream, guys."

Arcee scoffed. "Optimus should see reason eventually. He'll soon learn that we just need to drop Starscream."

"Are you sure he's really a bad guy? Maybe he really wants to reform. It looks like Megatron put him through a lot of pain."

"I doubt it," Arcee said as the groundbridge came to life. "I'm sure that any day now of us is going to come home bleeding and injured, all thanks to him. I doubt Megatron ever really hurt him."

The groundbridge activated and a bright burst of light lit up the base.

Rafael's eyes widened. "Are… are you sure about that, Arcee?" he said as he stared at something behind her.

Arcee turned around and her doorwings flared in surprise. Ratchet burst through the bridge as Optimus and Starscream stumbled through, a long stream of energon dripping down Starscream's helm. As Optimus walked by while supporting the Seeker, the Prime looked over at his shocked team members and narrowed his optics before heading into the medbay.

"Are you really so sure?" Rafael asked softly.

* * *

"Seriously, again? This is the second time I've found you holding him as he bleeds out!" Ratchet shouted as he prepared the medbay.

"Ratchet—"

"Hep hep hep! I'm working on him."

The entire world shifted and blurred before Starscream as he was laid down on the berth. He saw Ratchet saying something as he moved around the medbay grabbing tools, the only sound Starscream he heard the thump of his spark in his chestplates and the unbearably loud sound of his energon as it pumped through his lines. Somewhere off in the distance, Megatron was laughing.

"—scream, Starscream, I need you to stay awake. The shot grazed the side of his helm but didn't burn away his processor," Ratchet was saying, attaching… something to him. He couldn't tell.

"Knock Out, not now," Starscream mumbled. For a split moment, he thought he saw a flash of brilliant red paint.

Ratchet shook his helm and grumbled under his breath. Hot sheets of energon poured down Starscream's helm, not enough to be deadly, but definitely enough to be a concern.

Megatron laughed again in the distance, cold and cruel, his laughter clattering around in his helm.

"You just had to go and get into trouble, didn't you? Just had to cause more problems for us," Ratchet muttered above him.

"I aim to please, A-autobot," Starscream snarled out before wincing, a sharp pain bursting in his helm. Ratchet grumbled something indecent above him as he flipped Starscream over onto his stomach to access the back of his helm. Ratchet froze.

Starscream sighed, wincing as a fresh rivulet of energon flowed down the side of his faceplate. "What's the problem, _Doctor?" _he slurred. "I thought you were the best medic around—"

"When did you get this bruise?"

Starscream blinked, squinting at the berth as he crossed his arms under his helm. "I… I don't know…" he mumbled out, the medbay spinning around him.

Panicked shouts and the sound of pedes clattering against the floor drifted from the main room into the medbay. The computers surrounding Ratchet kept flashing and flashing, the computers whirred as hundreds of symbols scrolled across them, the high-pitched thrum of Starscream's sparkpulse beeped loudly in the medbay, and all Ratchet could focus on was Starscream's back.

Hidden beneath a section of plating that had been shifted to the side laid three long gashes. The gash was old, a dark blight upon the grey of Starscream's protoform, but it was there nevertheless, an old wound from the past.

"What, so this isn't the first time you got yourself in trouble?" Ratchet muttered, staring at the long gashes on Starscream as he patched his helm.

The Seeker shifted beneath him, tilting his helm slightly and looking up at Ratchet with a single flickering red optic. "I thought medics were supposed to be _c-comforting_," he snapped out.

Starscream's annoyance and confusion blared through his distorted field and hung thick in the air like a hot blanket of snark. Ratchet's servos worked with a will of their own, patching and welding and clearing away the wound in Starscream's helm, but his optics drifted back over to the old gash in Starscream's protoform.

"How did you get that?" Ratchet asked, something cold sinking into his gut.

"Why d-do you care, Autobot?"

"Because this Autobot is your new doctor! And I can't treat you if I don't know what's wrong with you. Now out with the truth, hup hup! How did you get that? I need you to tell me because I don't have your medical files."

Starscream mumbled beneath him and his field pulsed again, a hot miasma of pain and sluggishness and—for split moment, an emotion projected itself into Starscream's field, hanging in the air for a split moment before Starscream snapped his field tightly against his frame again.

Hot rivulets of energon dripped out from the crooked gash in his helm, but besides his flickering optics and slurred speech Starscream seemed unfazed as he laid there inspecting his talons.

Ratchet shook his helm, gritting his dentae, that sinking feeling in his gut growing colder. "You don't seem to be in that much pain."

"Mmmm," Starscream mumbled out, fluttering his wings as his optics flickered on and off, "I got used to it."

Something about the way he said it so casually made Ratchet's armor lock up around him. "Right. I guess causing problems for yourself is something you do often—"

Ratchet broke off, the words dying in his intake. Starscream had shifted beneath him again, his plating rippling across his frame, and for a split moment another bruise showed itself. Ratchet placed his servo into one of Starscream's transformations seams and pushed a piece of dented plating beside. His protoform was laid bare, revealing dark grey mesh mottled with dark blue spots and scratches.

"A scar from an impact injury? I thought your doctor aboard the Nemesis was supposedly the best around."

Starscream sighed, lazily tapping his talons against the metal of the berth. "H-he is, it's just that it was _another_ doctor who treated that… unpleasantness," Starscream said, a harsh shiver coursing through his frame before he stilled himself and continued to stare at the berth.

"Primus, you must've only been a few vorns old when you got that injury in order for it to leave a scar like that. Did you go off and fly into something?" Ratchet muttered, irritation coursing through his field. They were low enough on energon already. Having a clumsy, traitorous Seeker around constantly in need of repairs would compromise their already low reserves.

"No, Megatron gave me that injury. A mission went wrong, but it's not like it was _my _fault, though he didn't careee," Starscream hiccuped.

"Primus, the amount of messes you've gotten yourself into," Ratchet said, working quickly to weld the wound in Starscream's helm. The shot had grazed the side of his helm and exposed the blinking lights of his processor.

Ratchet pried off another piece of burnt plating, his optics widening.

Starscream was a Seeker, and so his frame was very different from the rest of theirs. His wiring was meant to navigate the skies and not the ground, so his internals were built to withstand the tremor of sonic booms. Ratchet looked at the strange wires and internals and tightened his fists. He understood how the systems worked to an extent, but it had been so many years since he'd worked on a flightframe, and so many little ways in which they were different from grounders—

Ratchet swore. Starscream looked up at him, somehow managing to look arrogant despite being frosted all over and having energon leaking from a gash in his helm.

"S-something wrong?" Starscream said, smiling as his optics flickered and _how in Primus has he not passed out yet?_

"No, everything is fine," Ratchet said, scowling as he pushed a wire aside to reveal another strange set of cables he didn't even know Seekers had.

Starscream shifted on the berth, his wings lazily bobbing up and down on his back. "What, can't you r-repair me?" he said, a faint tinge of fear and resignation working its way into his field.

Resignation.

"I'll fix you," Ratchet said, grabbing the welder again and getting to work. "Don't look at me like that, I'll fix you."

Starscream scoffed and shook his helm, feeling his processor throb in pain and the world grow slow and hazy around him. He grimaced as a familiar feeling worked its way through his struts. Fear coursed through him. Ratchet was muttering above him, his servos slick with Starscream's energon. The sound of Megatron laughing echoed in the distance, cold and clear—

Through the haze and fog, he could still remember the way the Autobots stared at him, the piercing glow of their blue optics as he was hastily rushed through the base.

A fresh rivulet of energon poured out of his helm and Ratchet's field tensed.

Starscream's processor was slow and sluggish, yet he could still tell something was wrong. He felt the berth falling away below him as Ratchet scoffed.

"W-what's wrong _now?_"

"Everything is fine. I'm still just getting used to your frametype."

Ratchet kept on muttering and part of Starscream wanted him to keep on complaining and swearing. It kept out the harsh noise of Megatron laughing and the muttering of the Autobots in the main room.

"Don't—" Starscream said suddenly, one of his talons suddenly reaching out and gripping Ratchet's wrist. Ratchet's servos were bright blue with his energon. His spark pulsed hard in his chestplates.

"Starscream, calm down," Ratchet said, his voice calm as concern worked its way through his field. "You'll be fine."

Fine.

That's what Megatron had said when he gripped Starscream's servo and shook it as he joined the Decepticons. Where had that gotten him?

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

"—I can assure you that even if I am not entirely sure how your frametype works, I can still fix you. I've been able to repair mechs with foreign frametypes with much less information to go on before," Ratchet said above him, slicing through Starscream's wiring and heading deeper into his internals so that he could remove the burnt wires. Starscream got the feeling that Ratchet was talking more and more to himself, and Primus did it hurt as Ratchet dug deeper into his helm.

"You need to stay awake. I know it hurts, but you need to stay awake—" Ratchet was saying something, his voice faint and hazy, "—and if only I had your medical files I'd be able to figure out your accursed wiring! Why are Seekers even wired this way at all?"

Files. Ratchet wanted the medical files. Starscream had the files. He'd prove himself useful.

"Pfft," Starscream scoffed. Ratchet was looking down at him, his optics bright, the harsh light of the medbay glinting off of the sharp tools surrounding him and—-

"_Prove to me that you are worth saving, Starscream. I will not waste my time salvaging scrap," _Megatron's voice said, echoing in his helm.

"I have—" for a split moment he saw Megatron leering above him, the light reflecting off of the sharp curves of his armor. He froze, his plating pulled tight—

And then Megatron melted away, replaced by Ratchet looking at him.

"—the files," Starscream blurted out. Primus, his helm hurt. Why did it hurt so much? "I'll give them over, just please don't…" he continued, his helm and wing throbbing in pain, the harsh light of the medbay continuing to shine over all the sharp, deadly, painful tools surrounding the medic, the tools Ratchet knew how to use very, _very_ well.

"Starscream?" Ratchet said, concern filling his field.

Starscream blinked, the world hazy and slow around him. As Ratchet said… something… Starscream dug into the depths of his processor and pulled out a rather painful set of files. He sent it pinging over to Ratchet, making his helm swim and his vision static out. The pain in his processor made the world sway as he lurched forward in pain, just barely being caught by Ratchet in time. Had he been more coherent, Starscream would've noticed that there was someone watching him from the doorway.

"Starscream, what did you send me? You're in no condition to sit up, much less—" The datapacket burst in Ratchet's helm, sending schematics and logs of information racing over his HUD.

"You wanted it," Starscream mumbled, falling forward into Ratchet with a _clang _as a thousand files skipped over to Ratchet's processor.

Ratchet froze and skimmed through the files, his spark pulsing in his chest.

_STARSCREAM: MEDICAL LOGS_

_LACERATIONS TO BACK_

_CROOKED WING_

_SNAPPED SHINS_

Ratchet's intake dropped as the files continued to load into his helm, displaying a plethora of grisly injuries and damages to his frame.

"Starscream, what is this?" Ratchet said, a history of thousands of files and thousands of ugly wounds loading themselves into his processor.

"You asked for it," Starscream mumbled, cracking a flickering optic open and sneering at Ratchet. The smell of energon filled the air, hot and acidic as more files skipped over to Ratchet's processor in brief bursts of data.

"Starscream," Ratchet said, his frame shaking slightly as he laid the disoriented Seeker back onto the berth.

_DISLOCATED SHOULDER_

_BROKEN OPTICs_

_CRACKED SPINE_

"How in the world did you get so many injuries? Are you that clumsy?" Ratchet scoffed, static hissing in his audials as the sheer amount of medical data being sent to him poured into his processor. Ratchet could feel a sinking feeling overcome him as the medical logs rapidly downloaded themselves into his helm. He shook his helm and bit his glossa as he flipped Starscream over and returned to welding his helm. Starscream smiled tightly beneath him, staring at the wall as Ratchet frantically patched over the gash.

"Clumsy? No. These injuries were—" Starscream's optics briefly flickered. His EM field wavered around him, hot and staticky and filled with a bitter mirth.

"These injuries were what?" Ratchet said softly, sparks flying into the air as he finished another weld. The catalogued injuries poured into his helm, one after the other.

_TWISTED NECK CABLES_

_CONCUSSION_

_ARM TORN OFF_

Starscream hiccuped and laughed, his wings fluttering behind him, making the gash in his wings open back up and spill out energon again.

"_Intentional."_

_RUPTURED MAJOR ENERGON LINE_

_COLLAPSED ENERGON TANK_

_SPARK CHAMBER DAMAGE_

The last file made Ratchet freeze for a moment. Ratchet opened the file back up onto his HUD and stared at it.

_SPARK CHAMBER DAMAGE_

A long list of information followed, facts and figures detailing the extent of the damage and the way it was treated and _who caused it—_

Ratchet flipped Starscream over. He opened up the medical port in the back of his helm and hooked him up to a nearby computer console. Starscream watched him as he turned the computer on, his red optics tracking his movements.

Ratchet overrode his firewalls and immediately send a command to have him open up his spark chamber.

Starscream's chestplates flew open, the blindingly bright glow of his spark lighting up the entire medbay. Starscream watched Ratchet, his blurry red optics locked onto him. He blinked again, hiccuping as a fresh rivulet of energon poured out of his helm. He should probably be concerned about Ratchet opening up his chestplates. Probably.

Ratchet leant over Starscream, looking down at his spark chamber. Old bruises lined the inside of his chest cavity and dark weld marks criss-crossed his interior plating. Tubing covered in thick patches snaked all around Starscream's spark chamber, coiling around it.

"Are you… going to do it?" Starscream mumbled, his field briefly flaring out and emitting _fear. _He reached out and weakly wrapped his talon around Ratchet's hovering servo, making Ratchet pause.

"No," Ratchet said, the word out of his intake before he knew it. The vast expanse of energon lines that kept Starscream alive were right in front of his servos, wrapped protectively around his spark chamber. His spark chamber had thick extra layers of metal wrapped around it, covered in bruises and faint dents.

It would be too easy, to just reach in and nick an energon line—

"No. I won't kill you. I'm better than that. Better than _him,_" Ratchet growled. Old scars and bruises covered Starscream's internals, a particularly dark weld running across the smooth sphere of metal that housed Starscream's spark.

Starscream nodded once and his optics flickered, his field hazy and blurry around him as he let his talon drop back to the berth.

Ratchet sighed and took one last look at the dark bruises and scars covering Starscream's internals. He sent the command to close Starscream's chestplates and they snapped shut.

The only thing Ratchet could think about as he patched Starscream up was the deep scar running down the side of his spark chamber. Starscream finally offlined his optics and fell limp. Something shifted behind him and Ratchet sighed, putting the welder down and turning to face Optimus.

"How long were you there?" Ratchet asked.

"Long enough," Optimus said softly, looking down at Starscream. Dark weld marks covered him all over. "He's small, isn't he?" he said, narrowing his optics at Starscream.

Ratchet glanced back over at him as he recharged and stared at his closed chestplates and what he knew to be hiding under them. He put the welder to the side, revealing a long dark grey weldmark across the side of Starscream's helm.

"Smaller than I first thought, apparently. But… stronger as well."

Optimus nodded, his field dark and heavy around him. "Indeed. Do you see now why I wanted to try and save him?"

"But the ambush! It had to have been his fault. How else would the Decepticons have known where you were? How could you trust him?"

"There is no way he could have possibly contacted Megatron while out in the field. We closed off his Decepticon frequencies," Optimus said, looking off into the distance. His field shuddered around him and a brief pang of grief spiked into his field, raw and hurting, before fading away with a hiss of static.

Ratchet opened his intake to say something, but then shut it. There was something in the way Optimus was holding himself, something in the way he stared off into space and the way his plating was held stiff around him that made Ratchet stay silent.

He turned around and looked at Ratchet, his field sadder than it had been in a long, long time. "How is he?"

"He has spark chamber damage," Ratchet said, sighing.

Optimus's helm shot up to look at him. "_What?"_

"From pressure," he said softly. "It was crushed in."

"_—Please__ don't crush me—"_ Starscream's voice said as it drifted through Optimus's helm.

Optimus clenched his servos into fists and narrowed his optics. Puffs of steam shot out from his smokestacks and his entire frame creaked as his armor flattened against him. His field lashed out around him harshly and hissed with hot static.

Starscream flinched in his recharge, slightly shifting on his berth and moving away from Optimus's enraged field.

Optimus froze. His armor loosened and his servos unclenched themselves. He sighed and just stared at Starscream.

Ratchet stayed silent. The machines of the medbay whirred on in the background and Starscream shifted in his sleep, his wings clanking against the edge of the berth.

"Do you understand why I wanted to save him?" Optimus said, staring at Starscream.

"I… think I do," Ratchet sighed, shaking his helm. "I don't understand, yet at the same time—" He broke off and stared at Starscream's chestplates as they rose and fell in his recharge. "I haven't seen injuries like that in a long time. I don't want to see them ever again. I must admit, I'm still uncertain if this was the right thing to do, if Starscream can ever truly walk away from Megatron for good and join us—but after seeing what Megatron did to him—" Ratchet walked over to Optimus, lowering his voice. "Did you know?"

Optimus offlined his optics, screwing his servos up into fists by his sides.

"I rarely saw Megatron actually hurting him. I was able to tell what was going on, though. I saw it in Starscream's optics. But I was unaware of the... extent of the abuse," Optimus said, narrowing his optics at Starscream. A puff of smoke escaped from each of his smokestacks, curling away into the air.

Ratchet nodded, feeling his entire age hit him all at once.

"It's not your fault you didn't notice earlier. Starscream has been being hit… and crushed... for probably, Primus, probably thousands of years. He's... stronger than I first thought," Ratchet said, the two of them looking over at Starscream as he recharged. Under the dimmed lights of the medbay and the faint glow from the computers, Starscream appeared smaller than ever, a small and sharp frame curled up on the berth, his back always to the wall.

"If we can get him to defect, Ratchet, I have no doubt he will be of great help to us. And that by joining us, he can help himself, too."

Ratchet snorted. "I'm still not sure how adopting a snarky Seeker will help us win the war, but sure. Optimus, do you think Megatron will ever stop trying to find him?"

Optimus sighed and stared out into the main room of the base. "I must admit, I am not sure. I doubt he will let him go without a fight. When I was still Orion and he Megatronus, and I left his side, he was not pleased and fought hard to bring me back. Having others underneath him gives him a sense of power and of control. To have those whom he subjugates betray him… he will not respond well to this, Ratchet. He is a vengeful mech. Prepare to treat Starscream many more times in the future."

"But what if he never stops hunting him? What if he's just a liability?"

"Then that is a risk I will take, Ratchet, because freedom is the right of every sentient being and Starscream has chosen to seek freedom by choosing to try and join us. And by Primus, I will help him escape from Megatron, not only because it is the right thing to do, but because I _know _that if he puts his processor to good use, he can do great things."

"I'm just worried he'll be a liability to _himself_. I don't know if he can just, just _walk away _from Megatron after a thousand years of loyalty."

"Prime?" Starscream weakly asked. Optimus and Ratchet's helms shot over to Starscream as he slowly and shakily turned over. The Seeker blearily looked up at him.

"W-why didn't you leave me behind?" Starscream asked, his optics flickering. Ratchet cursed as he tried to load more anesthesia into his systems.

Optimus's shoulders sagged and his optics darkened. "Because saving you was the right thing to do."

"I—I was _weak, _I couldn't endure the pain, I couldn't even _stand_. The weak are meant to be left behind. You had the power to just… to just leave me there. Why didn't you?"

Optimus stared at him. And stared.

Starscream began to fidget under the Prime's gaze.

He looked at the wall and let out a deep sigh, his entire frame drooping. "How many times did he abandon you?"

"...What?"

Optimus and Ratchet just looked at him.

"You know what I am talking about."

Starscream looked away. He thought of the dark snow and the sharp pain in his hip, the cave walls closing in around him as Megatron yelled at him back in the cave.

"Too many times," he said softly.

"He left you behind again. But you'll never be left behind again, Starscream. Never. I saved you because it was _the right thing to do. _I came back for you in that canyon, and I'll keep coming back for you as you become the mech I know you can be."

Starscream jaw dropped and he just stared at Optimus. He looked away suddenly and felt a strange prickling sensation in his optics.

Optimus's comm pinged. A databurst arrived in his helm. Optimus tilted his helm and examined the file on his HUD. "Starscream, what is this?"

"Coordinates," he said softly.

Optimus opened them up.

MINE D-14, COORDINATES 57.977945, -99.364877

"Thank you, Starscream," Optimus said, getting up and leaving the medbay alongside Ratchet.

"T-thank you," Starscream mumbled quietly as they neared the doorway. They turned and looked over at the Seeker again, but Starscream was already recharging.

* * *

The dirty canyon lit up with a brilliant green glow. Dust blew into the air in billowing clouds as Megatron emerged from the groundbridge and stepped out onto the canyon floor. A dozen drones stood behind him and the red glow from their visors shone across the scattered rocks and sloping walls of the canyon.

"Search."

The drones split up.

Megatron walked forward and sneered at the dust as he blasted a rock away with his fusion cannon. He squinted at the collapsed rubble and the canyon walls that towered above him. The sky rumbled as a dark cloud floated in front of the moon and blocked the light, plunging the dirty canyon into even more darkness.

The bright red glow of Megatron's optics shone over the boulders strewn about like two search beams, his talons curling and uncurling at his sides.

The cloud drifted away and the light returned, revealing a black scorch mark sizzled into the canyon wall.

"So there was a fight," Megatron chuckled, placing his servo on the black mark. It crumbled to dust in his servo, slipping through his digits.

"Milord, we have found something."

Megatron nodded and followed the drone. A strange feeling spread through his struts, a cold sinking feeling that coiled in his tanks and stayed there. Megatron walked past a bend in the canyon and came face to face with a massive landslide.

A huge mound of rocks of all sizes covered the canyon, completely blocking the way forward.

Megatron growled. "Of course there is an obstruction. Of course."

Megatron turned around, his intake opening to give a command—

And he felt his pede slip into something. He looked down and took a step back.

For a split moment, all he could see was red.

The night was dark and the moonlight was faint, but he could still see it. Optimus Prime's pedeprint sat indented into the dusty canyon floor. A whole trail of pedeprints led through the canyon, winding across the ground right to where Megatron stood.

"This is the place."

"Milord?"

"This. Is. The place." Megatron's helm swung around and he stalked down the dirty canyon, his energon pumping loudly in his audials as he followed the pedeprints. He'd seen those pedeprints before and would see them again. The last time he'd seen those pedeprints so clearly, Optimus—no, _Orion,_ had been walking away from him, way back in the fine halls outside the High Council's chamber. That was on the day Orion was offered Primehood and _Megatron was not_, the same day Orion became Optimus and left his pedeprints behind in the carpets of the halls as had he walked away, as he had _walked away_—

These were no fine halls. The dusty and dirty canyon walls stretched out all around him. Before Megatron sat a huge pile of collapsed rocks.

Megatron took a step forward and felt the soil beneath his pede collapse in on itself. He looked down at a faint indent in the ground, a small and slightly curved pedeprint lightly imprinted in the dust. It was small, but Megatron recognized it nevertheless.

The harsh twang of spilt energon hung thick in the air. Optimus and Starscream's pedeprints snaked around him, the canyon wall scorched with blast marks from some battle between them.

And yet—

Megatron followed the pedeprints.

Optimus's huge and heavy pedeprints weaved and curled around Starscream's small and graceful ones, twisting together—

Their pedeprints mixed together in a jumbled mess of disturbed dirt and spilt energon right before the collapsed pile of rocks.

"You have betrayed me so many times before," Megatron began, a deep growl working its way up his intake. "I have tolerated your treachery. But this—"

Optimus and Starscream's pedeprints swirled around each other.

_Joined_ each other.

Megatron activated his fusion cannon and incinerated the ground. The air was split apart with the deafening roar from his cannon as the dirty rocks melted away and vaporized beneath him, sending out enormous clouds of billowing smoke and filling the air with the hot stench of melted rock and burnt plasma.

"But conspiring with the Autobots. That, I cannot accept."

* * *

The clouds stretched out for as far as he could see. The wind rushed past Megatron's frame and blew across the sharp curves of his armor and across the deck of the Nemesis. The setting sun shone brightly, casting a deep black shadow onto the sharp ridges of the deck.

Megatron stared at the sky and the sky stared back. Towering clouds rose around him, blowing past in the shrieking wind and lit by the cold light of the sun.

Soundwave stood in the doorway of the ship, a dark violet shadow hidden by the curve of the door.

"You know," Megatron began, his talons curling and uncurling at his sides as a large cloud floated past. "I had thought his whining to be annoying. Bothersome, even. But now that he is gone—"

The wind blew again and the towers of cloud shifted around them, sending a wispy cloud floating over the deck and completely covering it. Megatron continued to stare out into the clouds, his bright red optics sending two beams of blood red light into the fog as it drifted past.

"But now," he continued, slowly and carefully. Megatron clenched his talons into tight fists. "But now he is gone. We have done this song and dance a million times before and will inevitably do it a million times again. He escapes, swearing vengeance, scheming and plotting against me—" Megatron turned around, the clouds around him suddenly drifting away as if fleeing. "But this time… he joined them. He joined _them._ Normally when he was treacherous, I'd let him walk away alive—with a good beating, of course, but still—but when he returns from wherever he and the Autobots are hidden away, this time... this time, I won't be so _lenient."_

Soundwave stood in the doorway, cold and silent. The sun drifted behind a dark grey cloud. The only light came from the red glow of Megatron's optics and the violet landing lights running all across the deck.

"When is too much too much, Soundwave?" Megatron said.

Soundwave inclined his helm. Where he had once always detected Starscream's sparkpulse, an erratic and harsh beat, there was now silence. A hologram of the globe drifted across Soundwave's HUD with the location of every Decepticon marked.

Except for Starscream's.

The footage spoke for itself. Starscream walked alongside the Autobots as one of their own. He was not happy about emptying the mines of workers to lure the Autobots inside, but it was the only way he could obtain the security footage he needed to prove to Megatron Starscream's treachery. An image of Optimus kneeling concernedly over a prone Starscream was on his visor. The mere sound of Megatron's fusion cannon was enough to drive the rogue Decepticon into fear and terror. That normally pleased him.

Megatron's fusion cannon thrummed.

Rapid pedesteps sounded from around the corner. A drone suddenly ran out onto the deck and Megatron snapped around, narrowing his optics at the running drone.

"Milord," the drone said, his voice as flat as all the other drones. And yet, there was something in his voice, a waver in the syllables—

"Speak."

"Milord, we have lost another mine to the Autobots."

Silence reigned.

"Which one?" Megatron said, slowly and carefully. He stared out at the dark grey and black clouds, his red optics burning like two coals in the oncoming night.

"D-14—"

The drone died.

Soundwave blinked. Energon dripped off of Megatron's sword, glinting in the red glow from his optics. A jagged gash ran down the front of the drone, his frame laid out on the deck dripping energon and sparking. His field twitched around him, shuddering and hissing static, sending out one last emotion—and that was it, that was what Soundwave had heard in his voice—_fear._

The drone twitched, then stilled.

Megatron let out a deep sigh as he transformed his blade back into his servo. "Alert me when he is found. Hopefully that warning shot you fired at his helm should be enough to warn him to stop trying my patience with this pathetic Autobot ruse."

Soundwave gave a slight nod and walked back down the corridor, sending a ping to the clean-up crew.

"I know where he is going next. And when I find him," Megatron continued, "I will find out exactly _why _he has betrayed me."

The door to the deck shut, leaving Megatron staring out at the clouds alone.


	5. Discovered

Megatron was not himself.

He stared off into space upon the bridge and his optics twitched as a low growl vibrated through his frame. Soundwave watched from the shadows as he recorded and catalogued everything he could about Megatron's condition, every little twitch and every little pulse in his field.

This was not the focused, deadly warlord he had devoted his spark to. This was a _distracted_ warlord. Megatron was still intimidating, but there was something terribly off about him. There was a brief burst of static and a waver in his field that Soundwave did not like. He only ever got this distracted when he wasn't in control.

There were not many things that were out of his control. Megatron burned the Council, crushed his enemies, and had Cybertron in his servos. Megatron was in control of those things... but there was one elusive thing that Megatron had never been able to control, one mech whose spark he had consistently failed over and over again to snuff out. One mech that was not under Megatron's control.

Now there were _two_ of those mechs.

Megatron stared at the image of Starscream and Optimus.

He stared at the way Starscream stood by _Optimus's _side, and not his.

The cycle had been broken. By now, Starscream should've been back at his Master's side, his frame dented and bruised and his optics cast down to the floor after being inevitably put back into his place by Megatron.

But the space beside Megatron was perfectly empty.

Soundwave would fix this. He would. This was no mere task to be delegated to the incompetent drones.

He would have to take care of this himself.

He stalked through the halls of the Nemesis, scaring the nearby drones and making them flinch as he abruptly whirled around. The door to the deck outside groaned open and a powerful burst of air hit Soundwave's frame. He walked outside, the only light at all coming from his pulsing violet biolights and the bright cold moon above. He stood upon the edge of the ship, only a few feet of metal away from the edge and the thousand-foot drop far below.

Soundwave stood upon the prow of the Nemesis and cast his senses out across the world. His scans probed the atmosphere itself and the entirety of planet Earth. He scanned, he listened, he watched, and he stood there for a long, long time.

The drones moved and drifted around him as they tended to their own duties.

He scanned.

The Nemesis flew on around the world and the lights of the human settlements dimmed and brightened.

The sun rose, and life continued aboard the Nemesis as usual.

He kept scanning.

He watched through his security cameras as Megatron threw a cube of energon at the wall in his wrath, his optics inevitably returning to the wretched picture of Optimus and Starscream together. He just stared at it, his optics red with rage.

Soundwave scanned, and scanned, and scanned—

—He detected something.

A brief signal appeared on his HUD.

It was just a blip, a faint point of energy lost amongst the overwhelming static and noise of the human's technology, but it was there. Far, far away across the globe.

The traitor was on another mission, then.

Soundwave leaped off the edge of the Nemesis and transformed, letting the winds carry him to Starscream.

Megatron would be himself again. Soundwave would see to it. He'd fill that void beside his Lord and soon enough Starscream would be back there cowering beside him, his frame dented and bruised with energon. And Soundwave would see to it that he would not get away again.

Soundwave flew off into the night and chased the signal.

* * *

_He was so, so tired. His frame creaked and ached as he transformed and flipped down to stand beside Megatron. Blaster marks scorched his armor and his arms hurt from firing so many plasma bolts from them._

_The whole world was on fire and an endless battlefield stretched out before him. Hundreds of Decepticons rushed ahead and fought hundreds of Autobots in a frenzy of blue and red blaster bolts._

"_You have arrived just in time, Starscream. Just in time! Just in time for justice!" Megatron said, his frame silhouetted by the golden light of the burning flames around him._

_Starscream nodded and felt his spark swell in his chestplates. Justice. It was such a simple word, yet such a powerful one. The Towers were burning and soon the tyrants who had lived in them would burn too. They could run, but the Decepticons would just run after them. This was true power before him. Megatron decided who lived and who died with just a few words._

"_Justice," Starscream breathed out. _

_A Decepticon soldier dragged himself across the ground, the raw fear on his faceplate visible even from where they stood. Three pairs of blue optics shone from within the smoke and three Autobots emerged, their blasters pointed right at the wounded Decepticon._

_Starscream growled and sprang forward. He wouldn't let the Autobots get his soldiers—_

_Suddenly he was being grabbed and thrown to the ground. He looked up and snarled at Megatron as he stalked closer._

"_What the slag was that for? I was trying to save him!" The Autobots were now closing in on the Decepticon._

_Megatron looked out at the Decepticon, his field calm and perfectly smooth. "He deserves this. He was too weak to defend himself. He chose this."_

"_What—? You're telling me he _chose _to get surrounded by Autobots?"_

"_I see everything, Starscream. I saw how he chose to try and save another fellow soldier. Now look where it got him." The Autobots saw the Decepticon and began to run towards him._

"_I can save him," Starscream breathed. He hadn't been able to save many Seekers back when Vos burned, the very least he could do was save this rogue soldier he'd never known. Or never would._

"_He chose this," Megatron repeated as he looked out grimly. The Autobots began to fire at the soldier. _

"_It matters not, Starscream. Only power matters!" He looked out proudly across the flames. "Fly in and burn the Iaconians."_

_Starscream grimaced. It would be a long flight. He'd have to fly around the battlefield—it was far too dangerous to travel through, there was no point in risking getting himself shot down—and only then after hours of flight would he reach Iacon._

"_Yes, master!" He prepared to take off and transform when suddenly something tightly grabbed his leg. _

_Megatron wrenched him forward and growled. "I know what you're thinking, coward. Don't fly _around _the battlefield, fool. Fly _through_ it." Another bomb went off in the distance._

_Starscream's spark lurched into his chestplates. Far off on the battlefield thousands of plasma bolts were flying back and forth, alighting the air with fire, vaporizing and killing the flyers in the clouds._

"_But why? I could get shot! I mean, yes, flying around the battlefield does take longer, but I can still destroy Iacon in time—"_

"_Choose."_

"_What? No, I need to think about this—"_

"_Choose now or choose never. Time is of the essence. The Autobots slaughter the slow who fall behind. Only those who are swift to strike will strike their enemies down. __Back in the old days the old towersmecha made us promises… They made promises, and then they broke them! But no more! Now they are gone, and we remain. My word is law now. Only I have the power to protect you, Starscream. Only me. You made me a promise to bring justice. Are you willing to fulfill it? Or are you just another towersmecha, another bot who breaks their promises?"_

_Megatron's servo tightened on his shoulder. Starscream flinched and whimpered as he felt the metal of his pauldron crush and bend under the sheer weight of his talon._

"_Master, stop—"_

"_Does this hurt you, Starscream?_

"_Yes!"_

"_It will hurt more if you fail and the Autobots get you. And it will hurt far_ more _if you fail _me_."_

_Starscream went silent and stared out amongst the burning wreckage. He could hear the faint cries of the dead and dying whistling through the skeletal remains of the burning buildings of Iacon far off on the horizon. He had thought that joining the army would be about not only killing enemies, but helping allies. Pulling mechs from the rubble of collapsed buildings and clearing away the wretched Autobots so that they could rebuild. Starscream saw none of that._

_All saw was just Decepticons kicking away civilians and leaving their soldiers behind in the dust. The rogue soldier he had wanted to save was dead now, his frame punched through with plasma bolts._

"_This is how it must be, Starscream. Remember how when Vos burned, I was there. Now I need you to be there for me." The body of an unfortunate shuttle who had been hit by a plasma bolt lit on fire and fell to the ground like a meteor, sending out a massive plume of dust that fell over the whole area. Megatron's red optics shone like beacons amongst the dust. "The Iaconians will not expect to see you emerging from the flames. You must risk something to gain something. I do not care if you get hurt, Starscream. You must feel pain to get power and you must get power so that you can __**inflict**_ _pain."_

"_This isn't why I joined you," Starscream said softly. He wanted to hurt the bots who burnt Vos, yes, but he wanted to help bots, too. He wanted to create a better Cybertron. But all he saw was destruction._

_Starscream remained silent, Megatron's servo clasped onto his shoulder like a vice. He tightened it._

"_You promised to bring justice. This is how it must be done!" Megatron sneered, leaning in until all Starscream could see was his angry faceplate. "With _fire _and _terror_."_

_Starscream nodded and felt his spark sink in his chestplates. It was the way of things. The cries of the dying echoed through the air and somewhere out there were his trinemates. But he couldn't go to them—he had a mission to complete. He had to bring justice. Rebuilding could come later. And if throwing himself into deep danger was the only way he could bring peace, he'd do it. Over and over and over again._

_He tightened his armor and tried to ignore the way his shoulder dented under Megatron's grasp. "Yes, Master."_

"_Good. You've made the right choice, Starscream." Megatron shoved Starscream off the roof and watched him transform as he flew off into the night, right back into the heart of danger. He just couldn't fail, he couldn't, because the consequences for failure were far worse than getting shot down by an Autobot._

_Megatron watched him fly off, his servo clenched into a fist by his side._

* * *

Starscream just stared at the wall. He could still smell the stench of the spilt energon and could still hear the distant sounds of blasterfire.

He should be recharging, but he just couldn't bring himself to lie down. The memory of Megatron loomed over him in the day and he didn't need to loom over him in the night, either.

Starscream got up, snorted and kicked the door in frustration. He was never free of Megatron, never, and—

The door slid open.

Starscream blinked. "Well, this is new."

It should have been locked, but there it was, wide open. He could just stroll out right into the base right now and cause as much damage as he possibly wanted. Past Starscream would've absolutely taken advantage of the opportunity and began destroying everything.

But present Starscream hesitated. He couldn't just leave his room and get caught—the Autobots had given him rules and he could not afford to fail them. He still didn't know what the price for failure was yet. Starscream rolled his optics and began to turn around to go back to his berth.

Suddenly, a spiked shadow rose up onto the wall.

Starscream whirled around as his spark began to pulse in his chestplates. He could not be here, he _couldn't. _There was no way Megatron was in the base.

"I have to be sure," he mumbled, "I _have_ to be sure."

If Megatron truly was lurking within the base it was only a matter of time before his claws closed in around his frame. If that happened, he couldn't be in his room. It was small and dark and he couldn't afford to let Megatron grab ahold of him and slam him against the wall and trap him and—

Starscream shook his helm. He took a deep vent and walked outside.

There was nothing there except shadows and the dim light of the main computer from the main room.

Starscream let out a heavy vent. "What a relief!" He fluttered his wings and began to turn around—

The sound of blasterfire rang out.

His wings shot up straight into the air and his frame froze as his optics looked back and forth in a desperate attempt to pinpoint the source of the noise. He looked behind him back at his room and just considered running in and shutting out the world—

But he couldn't. "I won't let myself be caught again," Starscream said as he walked farther into the base.

He turned the corner, emerged into the main room, unsheathed his talons—

Optimus was standing at the computer console, his back to him. He just stood there staring at the screen, his field flowing slowly and sadly around him.

The blasterfire rang out again.

Starscream blinked. "Uh... Prime?"

Optimus turned around and his optics widened in surprise. "Starscream." He wasn't sure, but he thought the Prime looked uncomfortable.

"What are you doing up?" Starscream scoffed as he retracted his talons. It was the dead of night, the base was cold and dark, and Optimus just stood there alone in the dark. Optimus looked back up at the console and narrowed his optics. The footage of a bloody battle was playing on the computer.

"Do you think I have done a good job leading the Autobots?"

"...Well, of course. If you hadn't, Master—I mean, Megatron—would have wiped you all out a long time ago."

Optimus nodded. The footage of the gruesome battle continued to play out on the computer. The bright red and blue flashes of the plasma bolts rang out loudly into the main room and lit up his frame.

Optimus frowned and stared at the screen. His field hung heavy around him and grew even heavier as the battle continued to rage on and on upon the computer screen. The battle was long over, but it seemed Optimus was not over it.

His massive red and blue frame sagged and his field flowed slowly around him. "We lost another mine."

"The one I helped you find?"

Optimus just nodded.

The map of all of the Autobot's mine locations was up on the screen, casting both of their frames into shadow. Starscream had given them that mine.

And Megatron took it back.

Optimus sighed. "Perhaps… perhaps if I had tried harder—"

Starscream scoffed and interrupted him. "I think you did all that you could, Prime."

"Did I, though?" Optimus mumbled.

Starscream's wings twitched. This wasn't Optimus. Well, it _was _Optimus, but it was a strange and sad side of him that he hadn't seen before.

Normally he relished in watching Autobots break down before him. He'd loved watching their hope die from their optics. But seeing Optimus sit tiredly before him with his optics dimmed made Starscream's spark wrench itself around in his chestplates. He felt like he'd escaped his nightmare only to enter another one, except this nightmare was Optimus's.

Starscream was used to picking apart people. He wasn't used to putting them back together.

"You tried your hardest, and that's what matters," Starscream said softly.

"I suppose. I just cannot help but wonder if there will ever be an end to this war, or if Megatron even wants this war to end. How did you get out of your room?"

"It…" It was tempting to lie. Lying came almost as naturally to him as flying did. He thought up of some lie to say, he looked Optimus in the optics—

And felt the words die in his intake. He just couldn't lie to that sad faceplate.

"It was unlocked, Prime."

Optimus just nodded and looked at him. "I apologize if my reminiscing woke you up. You should return to recharging."

"So should you! You shouldn't be moping around in the middle of the night!" Starscream scoffed as he reached over and turned the battle footage off.

"There will be another mission tomorrow," Optimus mumbled as he watched the map of their only mines on the computer console. "Failure is not an option, Starscream. The consequences for losing this war will be dire. I promised to help rebuild Cybertron, and I will fulfill that promise. We cannot fail," Optimus finished, a steely glint in his optics.

Starscream felt his armor tense up around his frame.

"_Failure is not an option,"_ Megatron's voice said in his helm, silky smooth and full of unspoken promises of pain. "_Do not fail me, Starscream."_

He nodded numbly and tried to analyze the Prime. He had always been brilliant at reading mech's true intentions. But whenever he looked at the Prime, he saw nothing. He saw a massive and tired mech just standing there and staring at the computer screen.

Prime was unknowable to him. Just when he thought he'd had him figured out, Optimus would do or say something that completely shifted his perception of him.

It scared him. This was a version of Prime that was war-torn and utterly exhausted down to his struts. This wasn't just another side to him, he suddenly realized; this sad mech _was_ him, and it had taken him a thousand years to realize that.

Simply put, Starscream had no idea what Prime would do or say next. The more he tried to analyze him, the more confused he was. Every little kindness he had shown him completely went against what he had thought the Prime was like for over a thousand years.

He'd always thought of Optimus as being a massive, terrifying mech who cleanly and efficiently cut down those in his way. And Optimus _was _like that, to some degree.

Optimus just looked at the computer screen and tightened his armor around him, his field heavy around him.

He could be kind and forgiving in a way Starscream didn't even know was possible. And he didn't know how long it would be before Optimus _stopped _being kind. Everybody has a breaking point, and the Prime's breaking point was shrouded in mystery. His kindness was just too good to be true.

Starscream nodded slowly. He would please the Prime in whatever ways he could and would do everything it took to make him happy. He would give them mine D-16 when it was time, and all would be well. He just had to avoid messing up in the meantime.

"_Failure is not an option," _a voice said. He couldn't tell if it was the vorns-old memory Megatron's voice echoing through his helm or if it was Optimus's voice speaking in the present. He was still learning to tell them apart.

"I won't fail you," Starscream said. Optimus had no reaction and just kept staring at the screen. Mine D-16 continued to float on Starscream's HUD, blinking on and on. It was vast mine. A prosperous mine. The last true bargaining chip he had left.

"Do you think I am a good leader?" Optimus said.

Starscream was silent as they walked through the halls, Optimus's massive pedes vibrating the entire floor. He could give him the mine, but what would he have left? No, he needed to keep the mine's location a secret—a day might come when he fails a mission, and whenever that day does come Starscream will need to do whatever it takes to get back into Prime's good graces.

"I don't know much about being a good leader, Optimus," and _Primus,_ did the honesty sting a bit.. but something about admitting that he himself wasn't perfect made Starscream feel somewhat lighter.

"You'll learn. We just have to not fail."

"_Do not fail me, Starscream," _the memory of Megatron's voice said. "_Never fail me."_

Starscream walked back into his room, his spark in his throat. He knew a threat when he heard one. "I won't fail you. I _won't."_

* * *

The massive remains of the crashed ship loomed in the night.

Starscream let out a shaky breath. He could not afford to fail this mission, he just couldn't. He understood Megatron and understood that he would beat him when he failed a mission. It was just the way of things. But he did not know _Optimus's _way of things. The Prime was vast, tall, and unknowable in a way Megatron just wasn't. He wasn't sure what the Prime would do to him if he were to fail. Nothing pleasant, likely. He had to be a strong leader who dealt out harsh punishments—how else would he have become Prime? But he didn't know what those punishments would be. And that… that made Starscream uncomfortable. Prime had said he never beat his soldiers and Starscream had seen the truth and conviction in his optics. But just because he never beat them didn't he didn't hurt them in other ways. And he didn't know what those other ways were.

"Screamer? Earth to Screamer?" Bulkhead waved a servo in his faceplate, his voice echoing in the ship's depths.

Starscream flinched and jumped back. "Yes, yes, what do you want, Autobots?"

"_You tuned out!" _Bumblebee said.

"You're not thinking about betraying us, are you?" Bulkhead laughed.

"I _will _betray you if you keep calling me 'Screamer.' What kind of nickname is that?"

"Hey, I'll call you Starscream when you begin calling us by _our _names, got it? And don't get any dirty ideas about betraying us. I wasn't joking."

"Fine, Autobot," Starscream scoffed and walked off down the corridor, Bumblebee and Bulkhead watching him.

Their fields flickered and wavered behind him as he walked along through the halls, frothing with uncertainty and barely hidden discomfort. He was used to generating feelings of discomfort in other mechs. Starscream had once even taken great pride in his ability to ruin a mech's mood.

But now the idea of angering the Autobots frightened him. Bulkhead and Bumblebee walked behind him. They could shoot him at any moment.

"_Do not fail me, Starscream," _the memory of Megatron's voice said. "_Never fail me."_

For a split second the air wavered again. Hot static jumped across his wings. It wasn't from Bulkhead _or _Bumblebee's field. Starscream whirled around—

"They're here," he said suddenly.

A plasma bolt shot by Starscream's helm.

Starscream ducked to the side as a swarm of drones suddenly came running down one of the hallways. A frenzied battle between the drones and the Autobots began. He cursed as a drone dropped dead by his pedes, a massive dent in its chest from where Bulkhead had caved it in. The sound of blasters firing and frames being dented and crushed echoed out into the quiet ship, floating into his audials as he hid away.

He peeked around the corner of the hallway he'd taken cover in and his optics widened. Bulkhead had a savage look on his face as he swung his wrecking ball into the helm of an approaching drone, crushing his processor and caving his helm in instantly. Two more drones dropped dead behind him, their frames burnt and blown apart by Bumblebee's plasma bolts.

Starscream watched the fight play out, drone after drone being killed before him.

"_Failure is not an option," _the memory of Optimus Prime's voice said.

Would the Autobots shoot him down the same way they shot down the drones if he failed?

He knows Optimus wouldn't do that… but the others—

"_And don't get any dirty ideas about betraying us," _Bulkhead had said.

He wouldn't betray them. He'd please them, he _had_ to. He couldn't fail this mission.

The last drone dropped dead. Bulkhead wiped spilt energon from his plating, Bumblebee transformed his blasters back into servos, and Starscream crept out from the shadows as they congratulated one another. The drones had nearly ruined the mission, but he wouldn't let that stop him. The bright blue glow of energon shone from down the hall. Starscream's optics widened and he went towards the glow, his field flaring out in surprise as he walked onto a balcony in a large room. Cubes of energon sat scattered all across the floor and lit up the entire room with a bright blue glow. Most were either crushed or smeared by the fight, but some still remained, glowing brightly within the darkness.

Starscream felt his spark soar in his chestplates. This mission wouldn't be a failure. He leaped down from the balcony and fell down amongst the cubes, his wings fluttering behind him as he took in the sight of all of the energon, of all the safety and security before him.

"_Wow! Optimus will be pleased." _Bumblebee beeped as he ran down the creaky stairs and down into the main room.

"Looks like you finally found something, Screamer!" Bulkhead laughed as he ran down the stairs after Bumblebee.

They stood there amongst the glow of the energon. A feeling of calm descended upon Starscream's spark. Something violet flashed by the balcony up above.

Starscream's helm shot up, but there was nothing there to see. The air shifted, static raced across his wings, something was not right here.

The balcony creaked.

Starscream's wings shot up high on his back.

A massive crack appeared in the wall where the balcony was attached. The balcony was suspended right over the cubes, right over all of the energon he'd worked so hard to find.

"No!" Starscream shouted as terror flared in his field. Bumblebee stepped back from him, his optics wide.

"I have to stop it from failing, I _have_ to," Starscream panickedly mumbled to himself as the balcony groaned and creaked and faltered right above the energon. He had to save the energon, he had to, but he could think of only one way to save the cubes.

_"_—_You must feel pain to get power_—_"_

His plan would hurt him. It would hurt so much. Starscream glanced back at Bulkhead and Bumblebee, their fields full of confusion. They couldn't sense the danger, couldn't sense the oncoming failure. Saving the energon would hurt him. But they might hurt him far more if he _doesn't s_ave the energon.

A loud snap boomed through the empty ship, Starscream whirled around, his jaw dropping in horror—

The balcony was falling and plummeting towards the energon. It was falling.

_Failing._

—And it was about to crush the energon and everything he'd worked so so so hard to find and Starscream _couldn't fail, _he _wouldn't._

Starscream bolted past Bulkhead and Bumblebee, past their shocked faceplates and the falling rubble and leaped below the balcony. He caught the massive structure right before it hit the energon cubes, his frame bending and creaking underneath the sheer weight. Error messages appeared all across his HUD, he felt the weight crushing him down and the pressure upon his spark chamber—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

He threw the balcony off of him with a massive yell and fell to his knees in the rubble. Starscream was on his knees, his frame completely covered in dust and scratches as he knelt amongst the energon. He dragged an energon cube closer and just rested his chin on it as the Autobots shuffled around in the rubble nearby. The sheer energy that had coursed through his frame was fading away now, leaving only a numb ache behind. He just sat there and knelt alone amongst the rubble and the energon.

Bulkhead coughed and looked out into the gloom. "Screamer, where are you?"

There was no response.

Bumblebee picked his way over the rubble and sent scan after scan across into dark room.

"I did it," Starscream's voice said softly.

Both of the Autobot's helms shot up.

"I did it," Starscream said as he sat there curled up around the energon. His optic twitched and his helm snapped around to look at the two Autobots. He silently and shakily held an energon cube above his helm, a smirk appearing on his faceplate.

"We won," he repeated, raising his wings. Pride and relief flooded his frame. He had fulfilled the mission. Sure, he'd gotten hurt in the process… and he did nearly die… but that didn't matter. The mission mattered, the _cause _mattered. He had been given a job, and he'd done it. He slowly turned around to face them. "I did it," he said softly. "I did it. This mission… there will be no failure. And there will be no punishment." Bulkhead just kept looking back and forth between Starscream's small frame and the huge balcony he had caught. Bumblebee just stared at him, a strange look in his optics.

"Screamer… how did you do that?" Bulkhead gasped.

"I'm stronger than I look, Autobot," Starscream sighed.

Bumblebee was silent. He just looked back and forth between Starscream and the massive balcony he had just caught and thrown aside.

_"Starscream… why?_ _You didn't have to do this. You could've gotten hurt."_

"Yes! Yes, I did have to do this! We need this energon, this power. And sometimes you have to go through some pain to get it." Starscream yelled out as he stood up, his optics flaring.

His entire frame ached and creaked, but that didn't matter. He'd gotten the energon. Sure, he had nearly gotten terribly hurt, and he hated that, hated the way the terror of nearly dying settled in his spark and choked him from within—but that was just the way of things. The mission had to be fulfilled at all costs, no matter the price. He was tired down to his struts, his wings sagged, and he just wanted to curl up in his dark room in the base.

"Screamer, that was crazy! Why did you do that? Aren't you in pain?" Bulkhead asked as he grabbed ahold of his dented wrist. Starscream wrenched his arm away.

"Pain is power," Starscream said as his entire frame ached.

Bulkhead just kept looking back and forth between Starscream's small frame and the huge balcony he had caught. Bumblebee just continued to stare at him, a strange look in his optics.

He'd proved himself. There would be no failures, no punishments. Not for today, at least.

Bulkhead and Bumblebee looked at each other, their optics wide. "_Let's just get back to work…" _Bumblebee beeped.

His frame ached down to his struts, but that didn't matter. What only mattered was that he stopped the mission from being a failure. "I don't understand what you're so confused about, Autobots. I did what I had to!" And Primus, did he hate the pain in his frame from pushing himself so hard, but he hated the thought of failure far more.

"_Right… well, let's keep scouting." _Bumblebee beeped as he and Bulkhead walked farther off.

"Let's split up," Bulkhead said as he glanced at Bumblebee.

They wanted to be alone. Starscream could tell. Whenever he was on a mission all of the Autobots seemed to enjoy going off on their own for a short while. But that was fine, he was used to being left behind.

He could hear them talking amongst themselves. Starscream snorted and walked off.

"Fine, scout by yourselves." He couldn't bring himself to look the Autobots in the optics anyway. That strange and confused look in their bright blue optics made his spark chamber clench up and he did _not _like that feeling.

He was a Seeker, he was built for scouting. He didn't need the Autobots beside him, and he certainly didn't need that painful twinge he felt in his spark whenever he was left alone again. He walked off alone deeper and deeper into the halls of the ship as he looked for the bright blue glow of energon. The faint sounds of Bumblebee and Bulkhead talking in hushed whispers grew fainter and fainter. The light of the moon shone through the halls.

He emerged out of a massive hole rent into the ship's hull.

"Slag," he swore. Before him was just the dark forest blowing in the night breeze. Tall cliffs towered above him and the moon cast everything in a pale light.

A shadow fell over the ground. Starscream looked up and froze.

Soundwave was crouched on the ship far above him, his violet visor glowing in the darkness. A single red light flashed in the top of his visor, recording everything.

"STARSCREAM," a recording of Megatron's voice said, sounding out every syllable and rumbling with rage. Starscream recognized the way Megatron said his name—that was the same tone he used when he was about to punish him.

"Soundwave!" Starscream shouted as he took a step back. "What a pleasure to see you!"

Soundwave just tilted his helm. Starscream's armor tensed up around him.

He had to get out of here. Soundwave was not himself, he could just tell. The last time he had seen the communications officer was on the bridge of the Nemesis before he departed on his mission with Airachnid. That was when they were both on the same side, back when Starscream just saw Soundwave as an ominous mech that creepily lurked in the dark. He'd known Soundwave was dangerous, and he was afraid of his blank visor, yes—but he'd never truly feared him because they both served Megatron, they both had the same goal. That was the only thing they had in common.

Now they had nothing in common. Soundwave was crouched up on high, the light reflecting across the gaunt curves of his frame. "MEGATRON—WANTS YOU—TO RETURN," he said, splicing and combining several different audio clips to form his sentences.

"I don't plan on it!" Starscream snapped. He looked out into the woods and the first time found himself hoping that'd he'd see Bulkhead or Bumblebee. They were not there.

"YOU WILL RETURN."

"What, so Master—I mean, so Megatron can beat me into the ground again?! Is that why he wants me back?"

"IT IS—YOUR PLACE."

"If he wants me so badly then why can't he come and pick me up himself, then?" he scoffed.

"HE IS TOO BUSY—TO COME PICK UP—_TRASH._"

Starscream ignored the way that awful word made his armor lock up.

"Is this how it must be, then?"

"IT IS THE WAY OF THINGS," Megatron's voice said.

_"'Remember how when Vos burned, I was there.'"_ Soundwave drifted closer, effortlessly moving past the towering trees as he glided after him.

"Don't you _dare_ speak of Vos!"

Soundwave was moving faster now.

"Soundwave, no, don't do this. Remember when you and I fought alongside one another? The thousands of years of camaraderie?" Starscream rambled out as he began to step away from Soundwave's crouched over frame. He couldn't just transform and fly away, the trees were far too thick and there wasn't enough room for his broad wings. The canopy towered above him, a thick barrier of dark branches and leaves that roofed him in and would surely send him into a spin-out if he dared to fly through it.

"Please," Starscream begged. A hot flare of shame rose up within his core because _Primus,_ begging came far too easily to him.

Soundwave just tilted his helm.

"Don't choose this. Don't."

"MADE A PROMISE—TO BRING JUSTICE. AND I PROMISE—TO FULFILL IT."

Soundwave made his choice.

He lunged.

Starscream threw himself to the side and felt the sharp flat edge of Soundwave's arm cut into his shoulder and draw energon. He slashed out into the open air and felt the air shift as Soundwave curled away from his talons. A single long datacable slowly uncoiled from his back, pulsing with violet light.

Then another cable extended.

And another.

Starscream activated his comms and ran as the sound of Soundwave's whirling datacables whistled through the air behind him.

"I need backup!" he shouted as Soundwave's cables shot forward and one curled around his wrist. He brought his talons out and slashed at his wrist, drawing both his and Soundwave's energon.

"_What? Did you get into trouble already?" _Bulkhead said.

"Get over here now, Autobot!" Starscream yelled as Soundwave ran after him. Soundwave did not run so much as float as his lithe and violet frame swooped and swerved around the trees. Starscream smashed through them in a shower of splinters.

"_Back in the old days—" _Megatron's voice recording whispered. A cable smashed through the tree beside Starscream's helm.

He yelped and twisted backwards before he then jumped over a fallen log.

"_The old towersmecha made us promises—" _Soundwave rumbled as he twisted around the fallen log and leaped into the air.

_S_tarscream was slammed into the ground as Soundwave fell down upon him and pinned him down.

"_They made promises, and then they broke them!" _the recording continued to play out.

Starscream snarled and kicked and thrashed at Soundwave as his cables coiled around him and restrained him until all he could see was violet—

The ground they were fighting on collapsed beneath them and they both fell. Starscream twisted away and felt Soundwave's long sinuous digits scratch at his leg as he leaped away and farther into the woods.

"_But no more. Now they are gone, and we remain. My word is law now. Only I have the power to protect you, Starscream. Only me."_

Starscream sat there on the forest floor as sheer exhausting weighed his entire frame down and his energon pumped hard in his frame. Soundwave clambered up into the treetops and his cables suspended him from the branches of the canopies far above. He just stared at Starscream, the bright glow from his visor casting a bright spotlight onto Starscream's tired and bloodied frame.

"_I know where he is going next. And when I find him," _Megatron's voice began. Starscream froze. He did not remember Megatron saying this. This was no distant threat or old promise from the past—

"—_I will find out exactly why he has betrayed me," _Megatron's voice finished. Soundwave tilted his helm.

This promise was _new._

"Frag it," Starscream breathed out.

He began to run again and he leaped forward, his spark lurching in his chestplates as he looked down. Far beneath him was a steep drop. For a split moment he was airborne, hurtling in the wind—

—Soundwave suddenly burst out of the trees and skid to a stop on the edge of the cliff, his cables lashing out and coiling into the air after Starscream's falling frame.

One of his cables gently grazed Starscream's leg as he fell. Starscream felt it lightly touch his ankle, felt a cold shock bolt through his circuitry as he felt the cable tense up as it tried and failed to grab a hold of his leg—

Starscream crashed down onto the ground below. Soundwave watched him from the cliff above.

"I am not going back! The Autobots won't betray me," he said, yet even he heard the waver in his voice. Soundwave's visor flared.

"_But they will, they will—"_ he spoke using Megatron's voice as he crawled down the hillside.

"They won't." He remembered the promise Optimus had made to him in the medbay. He wouldn't leave him behind. He wasn't sure about the rest of the Autobots, but he knew Optimus would not betray him at least. Except Optimus wasn't here this time, there was just him and Soundwave and the hot sting of betrayal wavering in both of their fields.

"I won't return!"

"_YOU. WILL."_

Starscream burst through the trees and circled back to the ship. He jumped right through a narrow gap in the hole and fell down right into one of the hallways.

"Screamer! What—?" Bulkhead shouted in alarm.

Two shocked fields brushed against his own. His helm shot up and he saw Bulkhead and Bumblebee just staring at him, their optics wide and their plating flared.

Starscream jumped to his pedes and tightly grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's arm so intensely that the tips of his talons drew energon. "He's _here," _he hissed out.

Bulkhead just stared at him in confusion. Bumblebee beeped angrily and a flare of aggression shot through his field as he grabbed ahold of Starscream's arm and wrenched him away from Bulkhead.

"_What is wrong with you?!"_

Starscream slowly turned his helm. He tasted blood in his mouth.

"I am not the one you should be fighting."

Soundwave burst through the wall.

Bulkhead ducked just in time as Soundwave leaped through the air and fell right past his frame, crashing through the other hall of the corridor and falling back into the forest below. His cables lashed out and wrapped themselves around the trunks of two trees, stopping his fall. He slowly twisted around, his visor cracked and glowing bright.

"CANNOT. RUN."

"Oh, slag no!" Bulkhead said, transforming his servos into wrecking balls and swinging them at Soundwave. Soundwave twisted out of the way, his cables flashing. He reached for Starscream_—_

_—_The Seeker froze_—_

And suddenly Soundwave twisted to avoid a volley of plasma bolts. Bulkhead lunged for him again and he flipped out of the way, his violet armor flashing as he sinuously dodged and curled around each one of their strikes.

Starscream felt as if his sparkchamber was about to collapse in on itself. A cable snapped out into the air and wrapped itself around the tip of his wing. He slashed out with the talons and scratched at the cable, sending it bolting away and leaving behind three bleeding scratches in his wing.

Soundwave was unstoppable. He dodged every bolt, every strike, and lunged at Starscream again. The two of them went tumbling down the hill, sending leaves and dirt everywhere as they fell into a stream far below. Starscream was submerged in the rushing water and all he could see past the dirty water and the frothing waves was Soudnwave's helm above the surface of the river, a bright violet light that lit up the watery depths.

Starscream kicked him in the abdomen with his knee spike and felt energon spill free. He shoved Soundwave away with a splash and jumped out of the river—

A cable tightened around his leg and slammed him down into the dirt.

"Soundwave! We've been fellow officers for thousands of years! _Stop. This_." Starscream growled, his frame wet and covered in dirt. Soundwave's cable held tightly onto his leg, denting and crushing in the armor.

He tilted his helm as if considering the request.

"REQUEST: REJECTED. _You will always be mine, Starscream,_" Soundwave spoke, and this time he didn't just use the voice recording of a single mech to speak. He spliced together the voices of several different bots and spoke using them all at once, making his echo and growl and hiss with hot static as he wrenched Starscream back into the waves.

Soundwave leaned over him, his visor activating and showing an image of Megatron leering down at him—

Something heavy hit Soundwave and he was suddenly thrown off of him. Starscream's jaw dropped and he watched as his violet frame tumbled off into the woods, his cables pulsing with light as he vanished amongst the trees.

Optimus stood in the river beside him, his servo still clenched into a fist.

"You... you punched him," Starscream said dumbly. Optimus reached down and hoisted him up and out of the freezing water until they were faceplate to faceplate.

"Get out of here. I will not allow him to have you—"

Optimus grunted as something slammed into his frame, sending him colliding against Starscream and the two of them crashing into the riverbank. Optimus shielded Starscream with his massive frame and twisted around.

Soundwave was back. He stood in the stream, the water frothing around his undulating cables. Bumblebee fired at him and he curled out of the way of the blaster bolt as it exploded on the bank, showering them all with dirt and water.

"CANNOT. ESCAPE."

Optimus growled and transformed his servo into a blade. The light flashed against his sword and he swung it down in a wide arc through the air right at Soundwave—

—and Soundwave caught it.

His long thin servos were both wrapped around the tip of the sword, preventing it from going any farther down. His arms shook with the effort of holding it back and rivulets of energon leaked down from his servos from where the blade cut into his digits.

Soundwave stood there, blood dripping down his servos, his arms straining to hold a sword above him, totally silent. His helm swiveled around to look at Starscream.

"_You promised to bring justice—you will always return to me. Always." _Megatron's voice recording grounded out, his voice hissing and popping with static.

Soundwave jumped backwards, sliding his servos off of the sword. The momentum of Optimus's blade carried him forward and his sword embedded itself into the energon-soaked stream with a heavy clang as it cleaved the rock. Optimus lifted his helm, ready to say something—

But Soundwave was already halfway through a groundbridge.

A split moment before the bridge closed and vanished, Soundwave turned his helm to look Starscream right in the optics. The bridge shut, the air stopped buzzing, and everything was still.

Optimus stood there and said nothing. He transformed his sword back into his servo and just stared at the disturbed dirt where Soundwave had once been, the only sign he was ever there at all.

"_You promised," _Megatron's voice said as it rose up from his memories. "_You promised to help me bring _justice, _Starscream._"

Starscream flinched as Optimus approached him.

"We must return to base. We do not know if he will return."

Bulkhead's jaw dropped. "Did you see that? He just—he _caught _your sword! And then he—" he rambled on, glancing rapidly between Bumblebee and Optimus until his optics fell on Starscream. His jaw shut with a snap. "...did you…"

Starscream knew what he was going to say. He frowned and tightened his armor—

"...Starscream, did you bring him here?" Bulkhead finished.

"No," Starscream growled out. "I did _not_. Why would you even think that, do you think we're buddies or something?! Is that it?"

"Well, you're a Con, and he's a Con—"

"I _defected_! I'm not a Decepticon anymore! That wasn't my fault, sometimes things c-can go wrong and it's _not my fault,_ why can't you just understand?! I'm no longer with Megatron, why can't he _understand_ that?"

Starscream stood there, his frame heaving and his vents shaking. His leg still tingled where Soundwave's cold cable had wrapped around it.

"Why can't anybody understand that?" Starscream repeated softly.

They just stood there in silence. Bulkhead and Bumblebee just stared at him, their optics wide.

"We are leaving," Optimus said. A groundbridge opened up again. Starscream flinched—for a split moment he thought he'd see Soundwave there in the bridge again, his gaunt frame sharply lit by the light. But there was nothing there, just swirling light and the faint image of the dirty base back on the other side.

Bumblebee saw his flinch. "_He's not here anymore, you know," _he beeped.

Starscream gulped and nodded. He walked through the groundbridge and took one last look at the bloodied ground.

_Then why does it feel like he's still there? _he thought.

* * *

Optimus just stared at his sword. It was speckled with Soundwave's blood.

"I haven't seen Sounders be that vicious in… Primus, it's been vorns!" Bulkhead laughed nervously.

They all sat clustered around the computer console in the base. Starscream had a patch on his wing from where he'd clawed himself and Optimus had a patch on his back from where Soundwave had struck him.

"Megatron is getting desperate. He has finally accepted the fact that Starscream has left him and he is now trying to bring him back."

"Oh, so now we have Soundwave after us too? Fantastic," Arcee rolled her optics.

"_But… how do we stop him? He's brutal!" _Bumblebee beeped.

Optimus frowned and sighed, letting out a deep and heavy vent of air. "After I became Prime, Megatron refused to accept that I left him and he sent Soundwave out to retrieve me. The only reason he failed was because I was able to get separated from him by leaving Cybertron aboard the Ark. I believe that since he failed to capture me, he is now going to try twice as hard to capture Starscream."

Starscream froze. He'd seen Soundwave on the battlefield. Not often, though. He was almost always on the bridge of the ship, listening and watching everything he could. But when Soundwave was off the bridge and fighting alongside Megatron, he'd been unstoppable, a silent violet shadow slinking along behind Megatron and killing bots left and right.

If Starscream wasn't careful, he'd become one of those bots.

"We just need to keep fighting him off," Arcee said. She glanced over at Starscream and pure disgust wafted through her field. Then she turned around and ignored him.

"Well, sooner or later he's going to snag up Screamer!" Bulkhead said.

"He will not be abducting anybody. We all must play our part to ensure that he does not capture Starscream," Optimus said. Frustration bubbled up in the Autobot's fields and they all glanced at Starscream.

"I don't need protection," Starscream snapped out as he crossed his arms. "I can handle myself just fine out there."

Ratchet scoffed. "You don't even have any weapons!"

"I have my talons!"

"Do you think you can hold Soundwave off with your bare servos?"

Starscream groaned. He knew the answer was no. But he had to contribute to the team, he had to complete missions. The mere thought of Megatron capturing him already loomed over him enough, he didn't need to worry about Soundwave being in on it too. Optimus glanced over at him.

"That's what I thought," Ratchet grumbled.

Bulkhead shrugged. "How do we know Sounders is being serious? What if he's just chasing Screamer to make us all scared?"

—_Soundwave's cables shot forward and one curled around his servo, a cable tightened around his leg and slammed him down into the dirt—_

"He's serious about this, Autobot. Soundwave does not cause fear for no reason," Starscream said flatly.

"It is possible that Soundwave intentionally failed to capture Starscream this one time in order to perhaps convince us to turn him in," Optimus said.

Starscream felt his spark stop. Optimus would not turn him in, he understood that. But the other Autobots would hand him over in a single sparkbeat, he knew that much. And Optimus could not always be there to watch over him.

"_Will he ever stop trying to capture Starscream?" _Bumblebee beeped.

Optimus narrowed his optics and stared at the wall. For a single moment Starscream hoped he would say yes.

"No. The only reason he stopped pursuing me was because Megatron told him to stop. Megatron desires to capture me himself now. But I will not allow that to happen. And I will not allow him to capture Starscream, either." He suddenly looked over at Starscream. "I will keep him away from you and I will not allow the Decepticons to seize another soldier of mine," Optimus promised him.

_Another soldier of mine. _A cocky mech with red armor and horns flashed into Starscream's processor. The last time Optimus had lost a soldier of his, he'd lost that soldier to _him. _And now he was willing to protect that soldier's murderer. Hot confusion bubbled up in Starscream's field.

Starscream opened his intake and prepared himself to tell him that it was all pointless, that sooner or later Megatron would drag him kicking and screaming back to the Nemesis. Something made him pause, though. Maybe it was the sheer determination in Optimus's optics or the way his field strongly pulsed around him, but there was something about the Prime that made Starscream believe him.

He shut his intake. "...Good. You better."

Optimus just took one last glance at him as he looked back at the computer. The Autobots watched the two of them, their optics wide. He didn't need to feel their fields to know that they were full of confusion. This strange relationship between Optimus and Starscream confused them. But it confused Starscream even more.

"We cannot allow this incident to hold us back any longer. Autobots, transform and roll out!"

* * *

"Why does all of the energon have to be in caves?" Starscream groaned.

He felt like Soundwave was still there at times. Watching him. Waiting for him. He looked up into the hole of a massive cave extending deep into the hill ahead. He wouldn't let Soundwave get to him, though. Not again. All of the Autobots except Ratchet and Optimus were behind him, their field prickling with unease. Starscream knew that the cave wasn't the thing here making them uncomfortable.

"Just the way it is, Screamer! You got to dig a bit to get a bit." Bulkhead said as he laughed and slapped his servo down onto Starscream's shoulder.

They were at another mine location he'd given them. It seemed like every single Autobot he did not like was there and that all of the Autobots he did like were far, far away.

"Couldn't Prime come?" he grumbled. He didn't want to admit it, but being near Prime made him feel… safe.

"He's busy on his own mission. Now let's move in," Arcee snapped as she drove inside.

The massive cave yawned open before him. There was something terribly wrong about this mine. The air hissed and buzzed, a cold draft blew out of it, and something moved in the depths. None of the Autobots noticed any of this. They ploughed on ahead and Starscream had no choice but to follow.

"_You made a promise to help me bring justice," _the memory of Megatron's voice said. He remembered this mine. They all blurred together, but for some reason the sharp rocks and the mining equipment of this mine stood out to him.

There was a deep groove in the wall from where a frame had slammed into it. Recognition flooded his field and he froze for a moment and just stared at it.

He'd been punished here. Megatron had grabbed ahold of his arm, sunk his talons into his metal till he bled, and then just _tossed him—_

"Screamer, come on! We need you to keep scanning." Bulkhead shouted from up ahead. He was falling behind. He didn't like the idea of spending time with the Autobots, but the idea of spending time alone in the cave made him feel even worse.

He ran to meet back up with him. There had been a fight here between him and Megatron. Scratches were gouged into the wall and black fusion cannon blastmarks seared the ground. The Autobots looked at the signs of the battle and their fields filled with confusion.

"_I don't remember us ever fighting here…"_

—_Megatron had tossed him into the air and he'd slammed into the wall. He did something wrong, but he couldn't remember his crime. Just the punishment—_

"There was a battle here," Starscream said slowly as he fought to keep his anxiety from spilling out into his field. "You were not apart of it."

He should have said nothing. But he was almost as confused as they were—he did not remember why he and Megatron fought here. Just that they did.

Bulkhead just tilted his helm in confusion, Arcee just scoffed and turned away, and Bumblebee… Bumblebee just looked at him. He turned away from the scout and walked right past him, and yet he still felt his optics watching him. They went deeper and deeper into the depths of the cave.

At any moment he expected to see Soundwave's bright violet frame come into view, his cables slowly extending as he moved towards him—

Starscream groaned and shook his helm. He couldn't think about him. Not here, not now. He had to focus on the mission.

The air shook.

_Thump. Thump._

He turned around, his field wide and his wings extended. Something was coming.

"Stop holding us up," Arcee snapped.

Starscream opened his intake snap something back when suddenly he felt it again. A tremor through the earth rumbled past his pedes. His optics widened.

Bumblebee looked back and forth between Starscream and the cave's depths._ "You're detecting something, aren't you?"_ he beeped.

"What's wrong? Is Sounders here again?" Bulkhead said as he transformed his servo into a wrecking ball.

The presence drew closer. Starscream knew that Bulkhead's wrecking ball would be of no use here.

_Thump. Thump._

He ran up to the cave wall and pressed the side of his helm up to it. He felt the rock vibrate as something large and heavy moved through the cave.

_Thump. Thump._

It wasn't a drone passing or mining equipment being moved along. No, he'd recognize those heavy pedesteps from anywhere. He felt his gut sink as the familiar pedesteps grew louder and louder.

A tall spiked shadow appeared on the wall. Starscream felt fear close in around his spark.

"Oh, Primus," he whispered to himself.

The shadow moved and the ground began to rumble as whoever it was came closer and closer to where they were all sitting. Bulkhead dragged them all behind a bend in the cave and into a narrow branch of it so dark only their optics lit up the shadows. Arcee ran forward out their branch of the cave, disappearing amongst the mining equipment.

It had to be a drone coming along. It had to be, because Starscream didn't know what he'd do if it were _him _coming this way.

Arcee returned and there was something off about her. Her optics were wide and her armor was held tightly to her frame as her field flickered in agitation. Starscream took in a deep vent—

"It's Megatron."

"What the slag is he going here?!" Bulkhead shouted.

_Thump. Thump._

"_Shhh! We can't let him know we're here!" _Bumblebee beeped in alarmed.

Starscream barely heard them talking. All he could hear was the sound of Megatron's approaching pedesteps as they thudded closer and closer.

_Thump. Thump._

"We need to get out of here!" Arcee said.

Bumblebee beeped in alarm. "_He'll notice a groundbridge!"_

"I say we fight!" Bulkhead shouted as he smashed a fist into his servo.

_Thump. Thump._

"You want to fight Megatron?!" Arcee hissed.

"Hey, he's alone!" Bulkhead just shrugged.

"He is _not _alone," Starscream said, his voice cutting into the air like a knife. The Autobots fell silent. He turned around, his optics bright red with fear. "He is _never _alone."

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

All he could hear was the sound of his spark whirring in his chestplates and the thud of each and every one of Megatron's pedesteps. But there was another set of pedes following his. He couldn't see Soundwave, but he knew he was there. He was always there.

He knew he shouldn't look, but he had to see Megatron with his own optics. Starscream had to know if he was just having a nightmare, or if this was real life. It was far too early to confront Megatron. When he joined the Autobots, for once in his life he didn't really have a plan. All he knew was that he wanted to become a better mech, a stronger mech. A mech who could look Megatron in the optics one day.

But as the sound of Megatron approaching grew louder and louder and the sound of Starscream's whirling spark hummed louder and louder in his chestplates, Starscream knew he wasn't any stronger. He knew he wasn't any better.

He peeked his helm around the bend in the cave.

Megatron's back was turned to him. The glow of the energon cast his frame in sharp blue shadows and his red optics shone like searchlights ahead of him. He turned.

Starscream ducked away. He had no blasters, no missiles, just his talons and a bunch of vengeful Autobots to protect him.

"We should just bash his helm in!" Bulkhead growled as he transformed his servo into a wrecking ball.

"No, we can't. I want to deactivate him as much as you, but we just can't go up against Megatron. Only Optimus can do that." Arcee said.

Bumblebee just said nothing. He looked at Starscream and his blue optics narrowed.

Starscream held still, his optics shining bright with fear. He could feel Megatron's presence. He'd spent so many thousands of years with Megatron that the feeling of the massive warlord beside him would never leave him, ever. He understood Megatron's field better than his own.

Megatron moved closer and the air began to hiss with static as his enormous EM field began to approach his.

_Thump. Thump._

Starscream was frozen, completely and utterly frozen. His armor was locked tight to his frame and his wings were pointed down and held flat against the wall. He considered just transforming and flying off into the sky, except he couldn't do that because he was underground and the sky was locked away from him and he was locked in there with Megatron, _Megatron,_ who was moving ever closer—

"_You can get through this. Do you understand that?" _Bumblebee said as he placed his servos atop both of Starscream's shaking shoulders. Starscream wanted Optimus. If you had told past Starscream he would one day desire to be in the Prime's presence he would've just laughed. But Starscream wanted Optimus to be there, the only mech who could actually hold Megatron off. Except Optimus was away, far far away, and Megatron was right _there_—

"We can't fight him. We can't run from him. So we're going to just sit right here and let him pass us by." Arcee crossed her arms and looked down and observed all of them. Bulkhead glared out into the cave's depths, and Bumblebee and Starscream were both just staring at each other. Starscream's red optics were bright and blown wide and Bumblebee's field radiated concern.

_Thump. Thump._

Arcee didn't understand. The murderer was amongst them, the very same bot who had killed Cliffjumper, and they were sheltering him. _Sheltering _him. For a single moment Arcee just wanted to grab the shaking Seeker and shove him out into the cave right in front of Megatron's pedes. But then she looked at him, really looked at him—

Starcream's field briefly expanded and for a split moment his emotions crackled against her field. Sheer terror radiated out into the air, hissing and spitting static, and then it was gone just like that.

...No. Arcee wouldn't turn him in. Optimus wouldn't let that happen. If she sent Starscream back to Megatron, Optimus would just go after him. Again. And again. He didn't go back for Cliffjumper, but he'd gladly go back to save his killer.

Arcee locked up her armor and turned away. "We're staying here."

Bulkhead just glanced at Bumblebee and Starscream. The sound of Megatron's booming pedes rumbled through the air as he approached.

"_Starscream, he is going to walk by us—"_

Megatron stopped to talk to somebody.

"_He's going to pass right by us—"_

Shouting was heard. Megatron yelled something.

"_And Starscream, you are going to be just—"_

The cave was lit up with a brilliant violet flash as Megatron's fusion cannon went off. A deep booming noise split the air and for a moment all Starscream could hear was static. Dust fell from the ceiling and the four of them just stood there in the dark, their frames frozen. Megatron drew nearer.

"_And you are going to be just fine,"_ Bumblebee softly finished.

Starscream took a shaky vent and nodded.

"What's with your optics? They're way crazy bright!" Bulkhead said.

Starscream blinked and Bumblebee moved back to consider him.

Arcee scoffed. "Your fear is making your optics far too bright. You'll need to offline them."

Starscream froze. He needed to be able to see, needed to be able to see the precise moment Megatron found them so could look for a way out, so he could look out as he ran away from him and escaped. The bright red glow from his optics cast the Autobot's frames into deep shadow.

"You need to shut them, Screamer," Bulkhead said.

Bumblebee just looked at him, a silent plea in his field. "_We'll keep an eye out for you, Starscream. I promise."_

"_You promised to help bring justice,"_ the memory of Megatron's voice snarled at him. Except Megatron was no longer just a memory, he was here, he was about to pass right by them, and Starscream had to miss all of it.

The Autobot's fields wavered out into the air, cold with fear and anxiety and the stench of distrust. So much distrust. They didn't trust him, and he didn't trust them either.

Megatron began walking again.

_Thump. Thump._

Bumblebee let out a desperate warble. "_Please, Starscream. Please."_

Starscream did not trust them. But he had to. He offlined his optics.

The sound of Megatron's massive pedes vibrated through the ground itself and into Starscream's frame.

_Thump. Thump._

_Please leave. _Starscream thought. _Please leave._

His massive field roiled and thrashed around his frame like an angry storm. Starscream held his own field tight to his frame and shrunk farther into the wall.

_Please leave._

Megatron's field briefly lashed out again and sent static racing across the curves of Starscream's armor. Megatron's massive vents sent hot blasts of air and swirling particles of dust onto their frames.

_Please leave. Please leave._

Megatron stopped walking right outside where they were hidden.

_Just leave!_

The bright red glow from his optics lit up the cavern and made the stalagmites cast deep shadows onto the ground. Starscream shut his own optics, tensed up, ready to defend himself at any moment—

Megatron moved along, his pedes sending vibrations through the air as he stomped away.

_Thump. Thump._

Starscream just continued to sit there, his armor tight against his frame and his wings held down to the ground. He let out a heavy vent and slid to the floor as he let his panicked and frazzled field burst away from his frame.

"Oh, Primus," he shakily breathed out. The rocks had cut into his frame and left scratches in his armor, but that didn't matter. Megatron hadn't found him, and _that _was what mattered here.

A servo landed on his shoulder.

Starscream shrieked and slammed backwards. Bumblebee beeped in alarm and held his servos out.

"_It's just me! It's just me!"_

Fore once, Starscream was glad to see the scout. "It's just you," he numbly repeated.

Bumblebee nodded. "_Just us. And no Megatron."_

Starscream dragged a shaking servo down his faceplate as Arcee called for a groundbridge. He could still feel the static from Megatron's field crackling over his wings, could still hear his voice booming around in his helm.

He flinched as a groundbridge opened up in front of them. For a split moment he thought he'd see Soundwave emerge from it, but all he saw was an endless vortex of light.

"Let's go! This place is giving me the heebie jeebies!" Bulkhead said as he transformed and drove through. Arcee took one last look at Bumblebee and Starscream before doing the same.

Bumblebee just looked at him, his field radiating concern. "_You ready to leave?"_

"Primus, yes!" Starscream shook out. He jumped up to his pedes and was about to step through the groundbridge—

Megatron's pedeprints were there in the dirt. The bright light of the groundbridge lit up the deep grooves into the ground where he had stomped right by.

Bumblebee put a servo on his wing. "_It's just us. And no Megatron."_

Starscream nodded and let out a shaky exhale from his vents. "Just us," he repeated. But he didn't believe it, not one bit. Megatron hadn't caught him that time, but what about next time? Or the time after that? Or the time after that?

How long would it be until his pedes met Megatron's again?

Starscream took one last look at the trail of prints leading into the darkness. He ran through the groundbridge.

* * *

_Megatron was behind him. When was he not? He was always there._

_A massive servo landed on his shoulder. He flinched._

"_Starscream," Megatron breathed out, his servo tightening._

_Starscream's wings shot down. He could feel the sheer heat from Megatron's massive frame seeping into his own smaller frame. He could feel his enormous field blaring hot static and a sickening miasma of rage and a hundred other emotions. Megatron's field was a wild complex thing that was always a challenge to decipher. But Starscream always felt the rage in his field. Always._

"_You have failed me," Megatron growled directly into his audials._

_Starscream whirled around. What did he do wrong? What mission was this? Soundwave stood behind Megatron, but he was of no help. He just stood there in the warlord's shadow, silently watching. Silently recording._

"_Well? What do you have to say for yourself, Starscream?" Megatron hissed out as his hold on Starscream's shoulder tightened. A sharp burst of paint shot through Starscream's shoulder. He could feel the metal denting and breaking underneath his grasp._

"_I… it wasn't me!" he shook out as he tried to wrench himself free from Megatron's grasp. It wasn't his fault! Or maybe it was? Everything was always cast into black and white, everything was either his fault or not his fault at all._

_It was never _Megatron's_ fault something went wrong, though. Never._

"_You have failed me!" he shouted. His servo tightened so much on his shoulder on his shoulder and Starscream felt his energon drip free—_

_And then suddenly he was being thrown through the air. Starscream landed with a clang on the other side of the room._

"_You thought you could get away with it, didn't you, Starscream?" Megatron growled as he stomped over to him. Starscream used to believe he could hide whatever he wanted from Megatron. Now he knew better._

"_I see everything, Starscream." Megatron crouched down onto a single knee and leaned down over Starscream's prone frame until they were just inches apart. "Everything. I am always with you, always, so think carefully about your choices."_

_Starscream nodded. His shoulder was a bloody mess. "I won't fail you again! I'll bring justice! Just like I promised!"_

"_About time, Starscream!" Megatron sent him skidding across the deck with a massive kick. "Bring justice!"_

_Starscream was frozen. Megatron wasn't himself, not at all. There was a wild and feral look in his optics as he sent him hurling across the deck. Starscream didn't know what he did wrong, but he had failed to fulfill his goal of bringing justice. The word "justice" didn't even seem recognizable anymore—he didn't remember what it meant. He just remembered what it felt like when Megatron kicked him._

_He would bring justice, just like he promised. Except the thing was, Starscream had no idea how to go about doing that anymore. No idea at all._


	6. The Ultimatum

"Does he do that all the time?" Bulkhead asked.

Starscream twitched and ignored him. He could still feel the earth vibrating underneath his pedes as Megatron approached. Megatron wasn't here, though—or at least, he shouldn't be. But it still felt like the Warlord was there. At any moment he'd come barreling through the trees, would wrap his talons around Starscream's arm, and wrench him away.

Starscream growled. He couldn't think about Megatron. He just had to push the warlord out of his processor for now—

"No, really, does he just go strolling through abandoned caves for fun?" Bulkhead shrugged as he ran up beside Starscream.

Bulkhead was _not _helping.

"No. He does not."

"But then why was he there?"

Starscream rolled his optics. "I don't know why my Master—_I mean, _why Megatron does what he does. The slagger just does whatever he wants."

Bulkhead's armor briefly froze up when he heard Starscream say the word _Master. _"So...what, you don't know if he likes to go walkin' around mines fun?"

"I don't care what foolishness he gets up to in his spare time as long as it doesn't concern me."

"Well, when does it not concern you, Screamer?" Bulkhead laughed. "He's kind of obsessed with you!"

"Obsessed with me," Starscream duly repeated.

— _Megatron's red optics had shone like two searchlights in the dark mine, almost as if he was watching, looking, waiting for someone—_

Starscream flinched to snap himself out of the memory. Megatron _had _acted strangely. There was a strange twitch in his field, a subtle offness in the way his massive pedes struck the ground that made Starscream uncomfortable. He always got uncomfortable around Megatron, but this was different.

The last time he felt that strange twitch in Megatron's field was when Orion betrayed him. And now Starscream had just betrayed him.

"Slag, you're right, Screamer!"

Starscream froze. Apparently, he had said all of that allowed. It was getting harder and harder to tell his memories and the waking world apart.

"_Did you see the way he just walked right by us? He seemed… distracted," _Bumblebee beeped.

"He's so obsessed with you, although I don't know why. That bot can sure hold a grudge. We'll stop him, though!" Bulkhead declared.

" _I'll stop him," _a voice in Starscream's helm said. It was his own. He couldn't remember which specific memory it came from. He'd vowed to destroy Megatron thousands of times… but how many times did he actually fulfill that promise?

Starscream stopped and frowned.

"Well, I'm not obsessed with _him_, that's for sure. He does not matter to me anymore." He knew that Megatron really did matter, but he couldn't focus on that. For just a short while he wanted to be free from the shadow of Megatron.

—_The ground shook as Megatron drew closer and closer—_

Starscream twitched as another memory of the event poured into his processor. "I'm going to take to the air." He needed to get away from here, away from the conversation and the memories and everything.

"_But Optimus said we should keep an optic on you!" _Bumblebee beeped in alarm.

"And you will. You'll just keep an optic on me from down here." He ran into the air and transformed.

For a split moment he just hovered there in the air. He saw Bulkhead and Bumblebee just staring at him, their field wrenching around them in confusion and indecision—

—And then he took off into the sky. He heard no protests over his comms. That was to be expected.

—_Megatron's approaching field had sizzled and crackled in the air like an angry storm. He had come so close to Starscream their fields had practically _touched —

Starscream grumbled and flew higher. He could fly farther away from the ground, but he couldn't fly farther away from his memories.

Somewhere up in the sky with him was the Nemesis. At any moment he expected to see its vast sharp hull breach the clouds, its violet lights shining bright in the black night. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable up there in the wide open sky.

A distant energon source pinged on his scanners, just a tiny little deposit. It would take a while to get there. Nobody was expecting him back at base so soon. Primus, nobody _wanted _him back at base so soon except for Prime.

He couldn't possibly keep flying and scouting for energon while up high and visible to the Nemesis if it were there. Starscream sighed and transformed, falling back to the ground as he began walking to the energon, relief pouring through his frame to be out of the sky and away from prying optics.

"I was just too distracted to fly right. That's all," Starscream mumbled as he trudged through the forest. That was the only reason, he told himself. He wasn't trying to _hide_ or anything like that.

_Thump. Thump._

There were pedesteps behind him. Starscream twisted around, his red optics scanning the dark waving trees.

There was nobody there.

"I'm just seeing things again," he breathed out. That just had to be it. It was the only explanation he could possibly handle. "I'm just seeing things."

Starscream kept on walking when suddenly he heard it. A low and monotonous buzzing was humming through the air around him. He didn't know earth flora and fauna pretty well, but he was pretty sure that earth creatures didn't produce buzzing static noises. He just hoped there wasn't a Cybertronian creature behind him.

He heard the pedesteps again. Had his audials not been so sensitive he would've completely lost the noise amongst the sound of the moaning wind.

"Bulkhead, are you trying to sneak up on me again? You're not nearly as subtle as you think you are!" he shouted into the darkness. No response. It could've just been the Autobots. The Wrecker enjoyed messing with him, it had to be just him… _and yet—_

He heard the buzzing sound again, but this time it was coming from behind him.

Starscream very slowly and very carefully turned around. He turned, ready to complain to Bulkhead about his complete lack of subtlety—

The buzzing noise grew louder and louder until all Starcream could hear was harsh static. A bright violet visor suddenly lit, flooding the forest with a sharp purple light.

Soundwave stood behind him. Starscream froze.

He just stood there, perfectly still, perfectly silent. Starscream stared into his own panicked reflection in Soundwave's visor, his wings and frame covered in dirt and leaves. He'd heard Soundwave coming. Nobody ever heard Soundwave coming, not unless he _wanted _to be heard.

"STARSCREAM," Soundwave said using a recording of Breakdown's voice.

"What do you want? Do you want me to come back to the Nemesis and throw myself before Megatron, is that what you want, Soundwave? Is that what your beloved leader has requested of you?" he laughed out. He'd nearly failed the mission and incurred the Autobot's wrath and now Soundwave was here and _Primus, _Starscream was tired. Tired all the way down to his struts and down even into his spark.

"PRECISELY," Knock Out's voice said.

"Well, I am _not_ coming back! Tell your Lord to find another Seeker to slap around!" Starscream growled in indignant anger. It'd be so easy to just activate his comms and let every single word of their conversation be heard by the Autobots. So easy. Apparently, Soundwave thought the same.

Soundwave tilted his helm as if considering him. "COMMS," he said.

Starscream scowled. "I'm going to call the Bots, you know. And Optimus will be here, and next time you won't be able to catch his sword before it strikes."

Soundwave said nothing. Suddenly his visor lit up. " _You are never alone. Never. Soundwave is always near, and he is my audials and my optics. I know of your plans!" _Megatron's voice said.

Starscream frowned and grit his dentae. "How… how much have you seen?"

"ENOUGH."

All he had to do was activate his comms and summon the Autobots. They would come. Right?

Soundwave just watched him from the other side of the clearing. He was observing the frequencies. He'd be able to detect the signal as it leaped out from Starscream, he'd be able to feel it and even intercept it—

Starscream just laughed. It was not a happy noise. "You—you're just goading me into activating my comms so you can shut them down, is that it? You want to see my cry for help so you can then snuff it out!"

Soundwave said nothing. He merely stepped closer.

Starscream stepped back. "You could've shut my comms off back in the woods earlier. But you didn't. You let me get help from the Autobots… _why? _"

He just stood there. "LET THEM COME. LET THEM COME," a recording said. It was an old recording, was old, so old that it dated back to the days when Megatron was still Megatronus and he was still a gladiator. He remembered the way Megatronus had stood up tall and goaded on more challengers, letting them come to him. Soundwave had been one of those challengers.

"LET THEM COME."

"I—_"_

"ACTIVATE. COMMS."

There was something off about Soundwave. There was a tightness in his shoulders and a hard glint in his blank visor that frightened him. For a split moment Soundwave's field flared out. Starscream recoiled in shock. Sounndwave almost _never _let other mech's feel his field, yet there it was, frothing around him. His field hung sharply around him, pulsing out cold and clear waves and a hidden miasma of emotions. Soundwave never let anybody feel the cold static of his field, not unless he was going to fight somebody.

Starscream's spark sank in his chamber.

Soundwave was _challenging _him.

"_Starscream," _Megatron's voice recording said. There was something different about this recording. "_You have always fascinated me and amused me. Your treachery, your ambitious attempts to cling onto power, your weaknesses... You fascinate me the same way watching a dying mech is fascinating. You know you should not look. But you look anyway."_

This voice recording was different. This wasn't a random series of voice clips stitched together to form a message—this was a speech composed entirely for Starcream alone.

_"You stopped being amusing a long time ago. You and I both know this won't last," _Megatron continued. His voice may have been just a recording, but Starscream still felt Megatron's presence there beside him, watching him, observing him. Waiting for him. _"You are a vulnerability to your team. I will not stop hunting you, I will not stop sending my finest after you until you see reason. Soon the Autobots will see that you are only good at lying and they will drop you from their team once you realize what a magnet of danger you are. When you fall, there will be no one left to catch you, no one at all."_

Soundwave approached him suddenly, his frame snapping into motion and moving until he was right in front of Starscream. Starscream's spark leaped into his throat and he slammed back into the trunk of a tree as Soundwave's servos lashed out and grabbed tightly ahold of the curves of his armor. Soundwave leaned in, his field sharp and freezing cold. He grabbed ahold of his wing with one servo and placed another servo right over his sparkchamber. His thin and spindly servo rested right atop his pulsing spark.

_"Do you feel your spark pulsing in your chest? Do you feel how it gives you life? Only I truly understand your spark. Only I can help your spark keep pulsing. Only I can help give you a better life. The Autobots would sooner snuff your spark than accept it. Return to me."_ Megatron's recording continued to speak at a deafening volume, his voice booming out into the air and vibrating Starscream's armor.

_"It does not have to be like this. It hurts, doesn't it? The paranoia... the anxiety... you just don't know when the Autobots will finally grow tired of you and beat you the way you deserve. You will be beaten... unless you turn yourself into me. Then you will be beaten less. Fall back to me, Starscream. Fall back._ _Prime may accept you, but we both know the other Autobots _won't_. And even if they do welcome you into their fold, it is only a matter of time before you return to me. It is the way of things. You have three days, Starscream. If you return before sunset by then, then I will be merciful to you. Choose. Choose _now._"_

It ended. Soundwave silently stared at him. His long digits twitched as he just stared at him.

Soundwave never twitched. He wanted to grab ahold of the rogue Seeker and just haul him back to the Nemesis, just grab the wretch and throw him onto the bridge so that his Lord can be normal again. But Megatron had requested something of Soundwave, and Soundwave had to fulfill his request. He was no longer meant to capture the Seeker. His job was to convince the Seeker into getting himself captured. It would've been so easy to no longer hold back and just grab ahold of his wings and send him falling through a bridge back to his rightful place beside Megatron. Soundwave wanted to capture Starscream. But he wanted to please Megaton and fulfill his Lord's wishes even more.

Starscream knew this. The only thing that stopped the communications officer from lunging at him and hurting him was Megatron's word alone.

_Merciful. _The hopeful word rang through Starscream's helm.

Soundwave silently stared at him. He reached a single servo out to him.

Starscream looked at his outstretched servo—

—_he had grabbed ahold of Megatron's talon and shook it—_

"_We will bring justice, Starscream. Justice!"_

—and Starscream twisted away from him and ran. He transformed and flew away high into the sky, farther and farther and farther into the night until Soundwave was just a black shape in the woods down below.

He kept on flying, the sight of Soundwave's reaching servo burnt into his optics. He flew in wide circles through the cold sky until the air stopped buzzing and his spark stopped racing in his chestplates.

Starscream grunted as he transformed and stumbled down into the woods besides Bumblebee and Bulkhead, his optics wide and his frame shaking.

"_Are you okay?" _Bumblebee beeped.

Starscream opened his intake to tell him everything. To tell him about the blank look in Soundwave's visor. To tell him about the anger he held tightly within his frame and his outstretched servo and Megatron's cold and stern voice, loaded with promises of mercy and with promises of so much unspoken _pain _—

He opened his intake and booted up his vocalizer. But he couldn't speak. He just couldn't. The words were frozen in his intake.

_Choose. Choose. _The words echoed through his helm.

_I could tell them everything, I could. _He could tell them of the threat, of the ultimatum, he could tell them about how not even Megatron thought the Autobots would accept him, about how he was a magnet and that Soundwave would just continue to hunt him and pursue him and never ever stop—

A cold feel rushed through Starscream's struts. Primus, Megatron was _right. _He was a beacon for danger. Wherever he went, wherever he ran, wherever he hid, Soundwave would follow him, find him, and strike out at whoever sheltered him. If the Autobots learned of how much his presence attracted Soundwave, if they learned of how much Starscream's presence _endangered _their team—

"You are a vulnerability," Megatron's voice whispered.

This was too much. He needed time to think. So he did what he did best: he lied.

Starscream took a deep breath and shook his helm. "I didn't really find anything. I'm just... tired of all of this organic slag getting in my joints."

Bumblebee nodded slowly. _"Then let's go back to base."_

Starscream just nodded. He knew Soundwave was still there. He was always there. Always waiting, always watching. The only thing he could do was choose to ignore him.

_Choose. Choose. _The words echoed in his helm.

"You okay, Screamer?" Bulkhead asked.

Starscream just nodded automatically. "I'm fine."

The groundbridge opened up and he walked up to it. Right before he returned passed through the glow of the bridge he cast one last glance out into the woods. There was something there in the trees, pulsing out cold and clear waves and a hidden miasma of emotions.

Starscream took a shuddering vent and ran through the bridge, his spark pulsing hard in his chest.

Soundwave recorded everything.

* * *

The globe of the earth spun before him. The location of all the mines glowed bright red on his HUD, stinging his optics and making him wince. But he had to see them. There had been only so many mines the Decepticons harvested from and he had already given so many of them to the Autobots. There were a handful there that he hadn't given to them, though. Not yet at least. Massive mines in deserts and arctic tundras and deep forests floated before him. Every time he saw one floating before him on the map, his spark leaped in its chestplates.

This shouldn't be so difficult. The Decepticons had treated him so terribly, so it shouldn't be hard at all to hand the mines all over to the bots who really deserved them. And yet—

Megatron's promise floated in his helm, the voice message playing over and over in his helm. He'd taken a picture of Soundwave standing before him in the forest. He wasn't sure why he did, but he had, and there it was, a picture of Soundwave just standing there in the dark night hovering on his HUD. He had been twitching.

Soundwave never twitched. But Soundwave had never hunted him down and gave him an ultimatum, either.

"Scream? You there, Scream?" Bulkhead asked.

Starscream jolted and jumped back. Bulkhead and the rest of the Autobots were all just staring at him.

"What? Can't you find another bot to just stare at?" Starscream snapped.

"_You completely tuned out!" _Bumblebee blooped.

Bulkhead leaned down and looked him in the optic. "You're thinking about choosing to rat us out to the Cons, aren't you?"

Fear closed in around his spark chamber. _Choose. Choose. _Soundwave had reached out his servo to him, willing him to take it—

"No! No, I—"

"Ha! Just kidding, Screamer," Bulkhead laughed as he leaned away. "Just kidding," he repeated, a hard glint in his optics.

Starscream gulped. He knew he wasn't _entirely _kidding.

"That is enough. There will be no 'ratting out' here today," Optimus said as he stepped forward. There was something off about him today, something strange about his field and the way he approached him. "Starscream, we need to talk."

Starscream felt his spark chamber freeze in his chest plates. "Well, all right then."

"You seem… distracted."

"Pffft," Starscream scoffed. Nobody knew about his encounter with Soundwave. Nobody knew about the ultimatum. "I'm perfectly fine, Prime!"

"Are you sure? Do you think you are well enough to go on the next mission?"

"Of course I'm fine! When am I not fine?"

Optimus just frowned at him.

Starscream sighed. "Don't answer that question. I am all right, really, I am!" He couldn't let them see how scared he was. Couldn't let them know that he still felt Soundwave's presence watching him at all times.

"I worry that your encounter with Soundwave in the stream has traumatized you. I worry that it haunts you."

"Oh, Prime, you think he haunts me? You think that little spat in the stream was bad? I have faced _much_ worse than that over the last thousand years."

Optimus frowned again and sighed. "That is not the first time he has gone after you?"

Starscream bit his lip. He thought of all the times he ran away from Megatron, vowing to never return, only for Soundwave to come back and force him to return. He thought of his visor, always blank, always watching.

"It's just the way of things, Prime."

"...I see.

"Optimus, we've got another Con invasion! They're going after another mine!" Arcee shouted from the main room.

Optimus shut his intake and let out a vent. "We will talk again later," he finished. A familiar emotion bloomed in his field, all hot and staticky. It took Starscream a moment to recognize the emotion the Prime was feeling, but when he finally recognized it he felt his spark drop in his chestplates.

Disappointment. Optimus was disappointed. He wasn't disappointed in _him, _no, he was merely disappointed to be interrupted by the Decepticons. Even though Starscream knew the disappointment wasn't directed at him he still couldn't help but feel a brief burst of fear.

When Starscream failed, Megatron would get disappointed in him. And whenever Megatron got disappointed in him...

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

Starscream shook himself out of the memory. Whenever he disappointed Megatron, a price had to be paid. He knew Optimus wouldn't beat him. That wasn't his method of punishment, that was not his price.

Optimus walked away to the groundbridge, his massive frame lit up brightly by the bridge's light.

The problem was, Starscream had no clue what Optimus's method of punishment actually _was._

Starscream moved off back into the darkness of the corridors, hoping he'd never have to find out what the Prime did to those who failed.

* * *

_They were getting away._

_The massive spaceship covered the entire sky as it slowly took off, its enormous engines burning brightly like suns in the night. The Autobot sigil on its side shone brightly and reflected the bright plumes of engine fire._

_He had to shoot the ship down. He flew and weaved around blaster bolts fired from cannons, spinning round and flipping around through the air as he lunged for the engines. This was the last Autobot ship to leave for today and Primus, he could not afford to let it get away before it caused problems for the Decepticons out in the stars. His energon pumped hard in his systems and his wings and engine ached, but he had to keep flying, he just had to. _

_A single shot to the engine was all that it would take to bring the massive behemoth crashing down. Something purple and silver quickly flew by beneath him before vanishing, but Starscream couldn't focus on that. He activated his targeting system, locked onto the engines, prepared to launch his missile—_

_A plasma bolt grazed his wing and sent him into a spin-out, forcing him to transform back to root mode as he plummeted through the air._

"_No—!"_

_Starscream fell and Cyberton whirled on all around him. The ship flew farther away, its massive engines blindingly bright, and he could not let it get away, couldn't fail again—_

_He fired his missile blindly._

_Starscream slammed onto the ground with a clang and winced as he felt his armor split open. He scrambled up to his pedes, looked up to the ship—_

_And watched it fly away. His missile's smoketrail drifted in the wind. A dark scorch mark was seared onto the side of the hull. It completely missed the mark. He just laid there and watched the Autobot ship vanish amongst the stars through the whirling green light of a spacebridge. The only sounds he could hear were the sounds of distant bombs thudding and going off in the distance and the sound of his racing spark._

_Which mission was this? He couldn't remember. He'd done so many by now that they all just blurred together. He could hardly remember life before the war. One day he was flying through the glistening spires of Vos, and the next day he was falling from them as they burned down. There was one thing about each mission he definitely remembered, though: his punishment for failing them._

_Someone transformed and landed beside him. One of his trinemates, hopefully. He hadn't seen them in so long._

_Suddenly he was being slammed down onto the ground. He gasped as he felt something break and tear within his armor and hot wet energon went spilling down from a crack in his back. The massive spaceship kept flying by, vanishing into the night sky until the lights of its engines were indistinguishable from the stars._

"_You have failed me!"_

"_I tried my hardest, Master, I really did!" Starscream shouted as he tasted blood well up in his mouth. The ship was so far away now, so far away. He had to find some way to please Megatron. He _had _to. _

_The ship was only halfway through the groundbridge. Maybe, if he was fast, really fast, then he could catch up and still take out an engine—_

_Or he could burn up _within _the engines._

_Megatron lifted him by his chestplates until they were faceplate to faceplate. "You promised me you'd help bring justice," he breathed, his breath thick with the smell of energon._

"_I tried, I did! But that blasted ship is just too fast!"_

"_Failure is not an option. I told you to get that ship, and you failed. You chose the wrong option, Starscream."_

_Hot frustration blared up in his field. "I didn't _choose _to fail!"_

"_You did something wrong! Starscream, Starscream, why are we fighting this war? You must do whatever you can to accomplish your mission! No matter the consequences!"_

_Starscream spit out a globule of energon. "For justice," he shook out. The ship was almost entirely through the spacebridge now—_

"_And do you know what we must have in order to bring about justice?"_

_Starscream sighed, tired to his core. "Power."_

"_And how will we achieve it, Starscream?"_

"_By… by pain," Starscream mumbled out as his wings burned in agony._

"_By making the Autobots feel pain, Starscream. I thought that you would make them feel the pain that the last Seekers did as they burned within Vos. Clearly, I was wrong. Oh, you promised you'd avenge them, Starscream. How could you fail?" he whispered, disappointment in his field._

_The disappointment hit Starscream like a wave. He'd failed. He'd failed Vos. And now he'd have to pay for it. He looked up into the sky and saw the bright green spacebridge grow smaller and smaller until it was just a pinprick of light._

_Megatron loomed over him, his field deep and heavy with disappointment._

"_Just get it over with," Starscream sighed._

_Megatron threw him across the ground. The beating began. Starscream's helm hit the ground and got cracked, his shins were snapped and his back was scarred, all within the span of a few frenzied, bloody minutes. He remembers the pain so clearly. He remembers how long he chased the Autobot ship for, just the desperation, the burn of his engines, and the pain that shot through his helm as Megatron clawed his back. _

_The energy from his desperate flight was escaping from his burning frame now, leaving behind nothing but a cold ache that seeped down into his sparkchamber. He didn't know how many more times he could push his engines like this. He was burning up from the inside._

_Megatron reached a servo down and gently helped him to his pedes. "Do you understand why you failed?"_

_Starscream nodded. He looked out across the burning remains of Iacon and at the ruins of Vos in the far distance. The echo of a Vosian ship taking off drifted across the wind. For a single moment he was struck with a sudden and intense feeling of longing, a desire to just transform and fly away into the night._

_Megatron just stared at him, his red optics burning brightly in the gloom, scorn and derision curling in his massive field. He couldn't leave Megatron behind, though. The price to pay for being treacherous was one Starscream could not afford. Starscream bit his lip and shakily stood to his pedes as he forced himself to look away from the far horizon and the promise of freedom. Flying off into the night wouldn't bring justice—only following his Lord could help bring justice. He felt the sheer disgust Megatron had for him burst out into his field and crackle against his armor. Megatron didn't even bother hiding it._

_Starscream frowned. "I do understand," he said. He hadn't tried hard enough and so he had failed. He should've flown right into the ship's engines, should've put himself right into the line of fire—he would've gotten hurt so badly, so horribly hurt. But he still should've put himself into danger. He had to succeed and not fail the mission by doing whatever it took._

"_Follow me, Starscream," Megatron said as he stalked off without sparing him a single glance._

_Starscream glared at his retreating form as he just stood there. _I don't want to follow him, _Starscream thought suddenly. The traitorous thought had just leaped into his helm. He really didn't want to have to go following him, didn't want to burn up for him anymore._

"_We must bring justice, Starscream. Justice!"_

_...But Megatron was right. He had to bring justice. And following Megatron was the only way to do it._

"_Yes, milord," Starscream moaned as he ran to catch up with Megatron. The warlord ignored him and just stared off across the burning battlefield._

"_Good. Now get back out there. I have another mission for you…"_

_He just sighed and listened to what his next assignment was. Starscream got up, transformed, and blazed off into the night, pushing his engines too far once more._

* * *

Starscream jolted as the memory ended. He just stared at the massive crashed ship ahead of him that was littered with deactivated frames.

It was just another old crashed warship, another chunk of a once proud Decepticon vessel that had been reduced to nothing but fragments. The frames of the mechs who died in the crash were scattered all across the impact site.

"Primus, how old is this crash site?" Bulkhead asked, his optics wide.

Optimus just stared at the ruins and his field pulled taut around him with emotion. Starscream didn't understand why. It was just a ruin full of old dead frames. Optimus's field flowed slowly around his massive frame, but there was something… off about it. For a brief second Starscream felt a burst of static leap out from the Prime's field and race across his wings.

"Old, Bulkhead. Very old. This wreck dates to the earliest years of the war."

And there it was—that hitch in his field, that buzz of static. Starscream knew grief when he felt it. He felt it buzzing and hissing in his own field often enough. Starscream looked closer at the wreck. Somehow, for some reason, Optimus grieved for the frames of the dead Decepticons. One of the frames looked familiar, so he squinted and looked closer—

—_There was a dying mech dragging himself across the battlefield, Autobots vengefully closing in—_

He frowned. This wasn't that same mech he had tried to rescue. That mech had died long ago before his own optics. This was a different corpse. After a while they all looked the same.

Starscream didn't have time to think about it any harder.

"You ready to blast this fragger open?" Bulkhead gleefully laughed as he transformed his servo into a wrecking ball. Optimus gave a single stiff nod and they all stood back and watched as Bulkhead went to work. Starscream glanced at the frames again and felt a chill settle down into his core. One of the frames had a long slash through it. A jolt of recognition shot through him.

Bulkhead smashed his wrecking ball into the wall and it split apart with a rending screech.

—_Starscream could hear the sound of the dead and the dying screeching—_

The wall fell to pieces and Optimus walked through, the faint lights casting his massive shadow onto Starscream.

—_Megatron's shadow fell over him and he'd looked down at him and said—_

"Such a disappointment," Bulkhead sighed as he looked out over the meager supply of energon in front of them. Hardly any of it had survived the crash. This mission was a failure.

—_Megatron's breath had been thick with the smell of energon, and he looked at him and shouted "You have failed me!"—_

Optimus turned his helm around and looked right at him.

—_Megatron's helm swiveled around and he looked at him, his red optics blazingly bright with rage as he stomped over to him and—_

Starscream walked over to one of the dead frames. He knelt down and reached out a servo to brush away the dirt from the gash in its chest. He brushed it away and felt horror fill his field.

Only Megatron's sword left such sharp gashes.

"_What's wrong?" _Bumblebee beeped as he walked up beside him.

"He killed them," Starscream said softly. He was not the first soldier to be abused by Megatron and he wouldn't be the last. He wondered what mission these mechs failed in order to deserve death. Megatron had probably—no, he had _absolutely _already forgotten killing these bots.

"_He what?" _Bumblebee frowned.

The air buzzed.

Starscream turned around and the buzzing grew louder. "He's here," he whispered.

He felt them before he saw them. A waver in the air, the hiss of static in an approaching field, a shiver that ran down his spine.

He turned and saw two drones coming right at them from across the river. Optimus's battlemask snapped shut across his faceplate. He quickly glanced back at Starscream with a look that said _stay here _. He got up, and he _moved._

Optimus ran across the river, his blade flashing and his optics blazing blue as he struck down the two drones.

It all happened so quickly he hardly saw it. One moment Prime was standing before him, the next he was a red and blue blur slicing through the spark chambers of the drones.

He just stood there in the waters as they rushed by, his frame silhouetted by the golden light of the setting sun around him.

Starscream blinked and for a moment red and blue was replaced with silver; he saw Megatron in the stream, the energon sluicing past his massive pedes after he killed those soldiers—

He flinched and shook himself. Optimus was not Megatron. But for just a split moment there—

"Primus, they just came out of nowhere!" Bulkhead shouted.

"_Do you think the Decepticons know we're here?" _Bumblebee beeped.

Starscream looked up into the sky. For half a second he thought he'd see the vast silhouette of the Nemesis hovering there and blocking out all the light. There were only clouds up there for now. For now.

Optimus looked at all of his team members. His optics lingered on Starscream and he frowned. "I think those were just two unlucky patrols. If there are two drones here, there are more elsewhere."

More elsewhere. But it didn't matter how many drones there were because Starscream knew that Optimus could easily defeat them. There was one bot he could not easily defeat, though, and that was the bot Starscream feared the most.

He blinked and for a split second he saw Megatron there.

To encounter Megatron that one time had been sheer chance, he thought. Horrible, terrible chance, but still just a coincidence. But to encounter Megatron _twice _would be no mistake at all.

Optimus knelt there, his blade covered in energon, not tired at all from the effort of killing the drone.

The word rang through Starscream's helm. _Failure. Failure._

The drone's frames were greying out already. Starscream knew that if he failed, Optimus would not kill him or beat him. But he didn't know how the Prime would react when he would fail, what kind of punishment he'd devise for him. It was only a matter of time before Starscream failed a mission and he found out just what the price for failure was, though, and he didn't know _when _he'd fail and it was only a matter of time before he messed up, and time was escaping him and _the sun was setting—_

"_Three days, Starscream. Three days," _ the memory of Megatron's voice hissed.

The first day was nearly over. Three days were now two. Two days to return to Megatron and the abuse he once knew, or stay at the base and face whatever punishment he would inevitably face for failing a mission, for ending Cliffjumper's life.

"_Choose now or choose never." _

He didn't want to choose. He just wanted to bring justice like he'd promised, but he didn't know _how—_

_Choose._

_Choose._

Optimus—_or was it Megatron?__—_lifted his helm to look at him and opened his intake to say something.

_Choose. _The voice boomed in Starscream's helm and briefly deafened him. He didn't know if it the voice was in the air or if it was all just in his helm, or if that was Optimus standing before him covered in spilt energon or Megatron or who those victims were and if he'd become one of them and—

And Starscream ran. He needed to be alone.

He could smell it in his vents. The stench of spilt energon, of burning oil and the hot smell of energon on Megatron's breath. Far off in the distance he heard the sound of Decepticons fighting Autobots, their hundreds of blaster bolts ringing in his helm. There were no Decepticons here, he logically knew that—there was just the Autobot scout, the Wrecker, the unknowable Prime, and himself, the awkward Autobot-yet-not-Autobot who was trying so hard to make it onto their team.

"_Once a Decepticon, always a Decepticon," _Megatron said, his voice rough and gravelly.

The rays of the setting sun shone through the trees and onto his armor. Bumblebee moved in front of him as he tried to run away, beeping and blooping as he grabbed ahold of Starscream's shaking shoulder. Starscream flinched away. A bomb went off in the distance.

Bumblebee's field was staticky with confusion as he grabbed ahold of Starscream's arm and tried to pull him close, his Autobot badge glinting in the light of the sun—

And suddenly Starscream could feel the earth shake as the massive Autobot breached the sky and flew into space, its badge glinting in the light of the sun as it escaped, the massive spaceship he had tried and failed to stop, he had _failed—_

"Starscream," Optimus said. "Are you alright? You have just been staring into space for the past few minutes."

Starscream blinked slowly. He could still hear the sound of blaster bolts firing off in the distance. He had somehow drifted away from the rest of the Autobots, leaving him with just him and Optimus. Bumblebee and Bulkhead stood a ways off in the trees, their optics watching the two of them.

"Soundwave! Megatron! They're _here, Optimus_. I can feel their presence," He shook out, his optics darting around as he scanned the shadows. He sent out scan after scan, pulse after pulse, and detected no spark signals except for the beat of his own frenzied spark and the calm spark of Optimus.

Prime just stared at him, his blue optics bright in the light—

_The soldier was alone. He'd tried to save another fellow soldier, but he'd failed. The Autobots were closing in, their blue optics bright in the light of the battlefield—_

Starscream flinched and jumped away. He just had to focus on the mission. He just had to ignore the stench of the spilt energon wafting through his vents, and although he knew it wasn't there, it wasn't real, he still could smell it nevertheless. Megatron was there.

"He's _here," _Starscream hissed. A strange clattering noise rang out into the woods. "Don't you hear him? He's coming!"

Optimus just stared at him and a strange emotion arose in his field. All of the Autobot's blue optics were staring at him, boring into him, and he had seen the way those Autobots approached that lone solider, he remembered what they did to him for failing to escape. Optimus's engine quietly rumbled. That strange emotion arose in his field again, deep and sad and sickeningly familiar.

He'd felt that emotion in other mech's fields so much recently, the stench of _pity, _and he didn't know how to feel about it. He wasn't something to be pitied. He was strong, he had to be, or else he'd _fail—_

Optimus suddenly grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him off to the side. Starscream yelped and stumbled as he pulled him farther away from the Autobots and off behind the trees, away from the shadows and the distant sounds of the battlefield.

"Let me _go _—"

"— No."

"But Megatron—"

" — is not here," Optimus finished.

"You don't know that!"

"I do, Starscream. I do. I know that it feels real. I know he haunts you."

"He does _not_ haunt me! He's no ghost, he's really _here!" _Starscream scoffed. A buzzing noise rang through the woods and the smell of spilt energon hung hot and thick in the air. Prime just looked at him with that patient and kind gaze. Didn't he understand the urgency? Didn't he smell the blood and hear the buzz and couldn't he _hear _the battle? "Don't you hear it, Prime? You have to, how could you not?"

Optimus grabbed ahold of his shoulder and held him steady. "Starscream... you can hear a battle?"

"Are you deaf, Prime? It's so loud!"

"There is no battle here."

"There's always a battle, everywhere I go! Can't you hear it?"

"There are only the sounds of the woods. Listen, Starscream, listen."

Starscream snarled and tried to break ahold of the Prime's grasp, but the scout was surprisingly strong. He leaned in until all Starscream could see was his bright blue optics and his red and blue armor.

"Listen," Optimus spoke quietly. "Just listen."

Starscream growled and stopped thrashing. If briefly indulging the Prime was what it took to convince him of Megatron's arrival, then he'd do what Optimus wanted. He rolled his optics and turned up the sensitivity on his audials. He heard the cries of the dying, the sound of a bomb thudding in the distance. He heard the sound of Bumblebee and Bulkhead mumbling to each other, the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind.

"Listen. What do you hear?"

_"Oh, Starscream,"_ Megatron said, his smooth voice echoing into the woods. _"Oh, Starscream."_

"I hear Megatron, can't you hear him too!?" Hot panic began to bubble up in his field. Megatron was coming and nobody wasn't concerned, nobody _understood_ him.

"He is not here. Calm yourself, it is just us."

Starscream frantically looked around, his optics bright and wide as he scanned the woods for any sign of silver armor.

"He has to be here. He's _always _watching," Starscream choked out.

Optimus's field pulsed sadly and he gently placed his servo around the back of Starscream's helm. "He's _there_, Starscream. He's there in your _helm_."

He couldn't be wrong. He had been wrong about so many things in his life before, he couldn't be wrong about this. "No, he's here, he has to be!"

"No, he is not here. There is just me and your memories, Starscream. It is all just your memories."

"Then why does he always _haunt me_!?"

Optimus was silent for a few moments. "... So you have admitted it."

Starscream blinked. Optimus was just looking at him.

"What?" Starscream snapped out. Primus, he was confused. A battle was going on and then the Prime had suddenly pulled him aside, and now? Now Prime was just staring at him. His field warbled and pulsed around him.

"You finally admitted that he haunts you. It is alright to feel like he's still here. I have been waiting for you to finally admit that. You cannot just get over him that quickly. It's about time you admitted that you still feel like he's here. But Starscream, Megatron really is genuinely not here. Just an old ship and some energon is here, that is all. Starscream, are you… hallucinating?"

Starscream's wings flared. He tasted energon in his mouth.

"No, no, I am not hallucinating things! I know what I saw! I heard the battle going on and I saw Megatron, I saw the engines of the escaping ship and I saw the way they burned brightly over Cybertron—" He snapped his intake shut.

Optimus's engine just let out a quiet rumble and he sat Starscream down on a nearby fallen log.

"Over Cybertron," Starscream numbly repeated.

"We're not on Cybertron."

Starscream's intake dropped open. He had heard the blaster bolts of the Cybertronian troops so clearly, yet that was impossible. They had all died on Cybertron long ago.

"Even when I'm not on Cybertron... I still feel like we are there sometimes. I just... I don't get it."

He looked up and saw that the sky was orange. The sun was setting, which meant that today was over, which meant that he had two days to make his choice. Two days left to decide to stay with the Autobots, or to go back to Megatron.

Starscream already knew what he was going to choose. He understood the choice that he had to make. He understood that it wasn't going to be easy, though.

"The images aren't real, Starscream. The sights, the sounds—it is all over. It's not happening any more. It's not real. But _I'm_ real," Optimus said softly. "Is this the first time you've hallucinated?"

"I do not hallucinate!" Starscream snapped.

Optimus just looked at him.

The sound of blaster bolts firing in the distance echoed off into the woods. He flinched. "Alright, so maybe I am… hearing and seeing some things. But it's fine! It's normal. I see things all the time."

Optimus's field hung heavily around him. "What do you see?"

The sound of another bomb went off in the distance. Starscream was intimately familiar with the the sound that particular kind of bomb made, the whistle it made as it flew through the air, the boom it made as it breached the atmosphere. He'd heard the sound of that kind of bomb as it had descended upon Vos and vaporized it. He heard it rumble, heard it whistle through the air—but it was a Cybertronian bomb, and Cybertron was light-years away.

Starscream buried his helm in his servos and growled. A part of him just wanted to take the Prime by his helm and scream out his anger at him, and another part of him just wanted to fly off into the night and never land. The trees moved behind him. Another bomb went off in the distance. Megatron stood behind him, looming over him.

Except Megatron wasn't there behind those trees, was he?

He never was.

"...You don't have to answer that question. I understand. I know what you're seeing right now."

Starscream's helm snapped up. "Do you really?"

"Sometimes after a long hard battle, I also feel like I am back on Cybertron. But I never hallucinate being _on_ Cybertron. Starscream… is this the first time you have ever talked to someone about this?"

"...Maybe."

Optimus just sighed. "Why did you never choose to tell anybody about this?"

"I chose not to because… well... it would have made me seem weak. Very weak. And I could not afford to be weak, because those who are weak feel pain, and those who feel pain have no power. And those who have no power feel even _more _pain."

Optimus's optics widened. "Starscream, no. You are not weak for experiencing this. We have _all_ gone through this to some degree. Is that the kind of environment Megatron has created for his soldiers upon the Nemesis? A place where mechs must hide their horrors for fear of ridicule?

"It is just the way of things."

Optimus shook his helm. "No, it is not."

"Well, that's... just how things are on the Nemesis," Starscream continued. None of this made sense. To bare your spark like that and speak of your fears to other Decepticons was a good way to get your helm bashed in by Megatron.

"That is not how things are amongst the Autobots. We will not see you as weak for talking about this. Ever."

"What, are you trying to _console _me, is that it?"

"I'm just trying to help you," Optimus said.

Starscream just stared at him. He heard the sound of another bomb going off in the distance… except the bomb wasn't really there, was it? It was just a noise, a noise from the past echoing into the present.

"...You... you don't think I'm weak for this? You're not disappointed?"

"Not at all, Starscream. Not at all. I am not disappointed in you, I am disappointed in Megatron for allowing such harmful and dangerous ideas to develop. I am disappointed in him, not you."

Starscream scoffed. He could still hear blasterfire off in the distance. "You know that if our situations were reversed, I wouldn't help you. I would've chosen to just leave you here to be haunted in the woods."

"I know. Megatron also chose to abandon his soldiers during their times of weakness. But I am better than you, and I am certainly better than him. I am presenting you with a second chance, another opportunity to not only better your morals, but to also better your mental health."

The smell of non-existent spilt energon hung hot and and thick in the air. Starscream felt like he understood, but at the same time this all made no sense to him. Had he been with Megatron when the hallucinations began Megatron would've just ignored him, would've just left him alone to be haunted by the past.

"Why do you keep choosing to help me? We could be harvesting energon right now, but instead you're using up all that time to try get me to stop hallucinating scrap."

"Because I choose to, Starscream. I chose to be here. I am here, and Megatron is not." Optimus lifted a servo out and placed it upon his shaking shoulder. "He is not here. And he never will be here in this place again."

Starscream let out a shaky nod. He wanted to just yell that he was fine and just go stalking off into the shadows, but then he glanced over and saw Optimus just staring at him, his field pulsing with pity. Starscream looked away.

The two of them just sat there in the woods. Starscream took a deep and heavy vent, closed his optics—heard the sound of non-existent blasterfire echoing in the distance—and opened his optics. The blasterfire faded away. The sound of the other two Autobots collecting their energon from the remains of the crashed ship softly echoed over to where the two of them sat.

"Do you want to talk about Megatron?" Optimus asked quietly.

He thought about it for a moment. "No," Starscream finally said. "I'm not ready. I don't think I ever really will be, to be honest."

"No, you cannot ever be fully prepared to really talk about such abuse. Nobody is ever truly ready for that conversation."

A thousand years of pain flickered in Starscream's field.

"But when you decide that you are ready enough to talk about it, I'm here."

Starscream just shook his helm. The smell of the spilt energon, the distant blasterfire, the sound of Megatron's stomping pedes—it was all gone now. The fear remained, though. The fear always remained.

"Why are you helping me?" Starscream softly repeated.

Starscream couldn't see Optimus's mouth past his battlemask, but he could tell that the Prime was smiling a sad smile. "Because I choose to."

"_Choose now or choose never,"_ the memory of Megatron's voice said. The sounds of the bombs and the blasterfire and the battle were all gone now. But Megatron's threat remained.

Starscream just looked away, his frame trembling slightly. They just sat there in the night.

* * *

_He was going to be captured._

_He could feel the Autobots approaching him from behind. The rev of their tires and engines echoed out into the night. The bright glare of their headlights cast the surface of the asteroid into sharp shadows._

_Hot energon dribbled down from where his right wing once was. Megatron had ensured that it would bleed. Abandoned, alone, and utterly surrounded by enemies. He couldn't even remember the name of this wretched backwater world—it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the he had failed his mission, that he had disappointed Megatron, and that the Autobots were now coming._

"_Slag it!" Starscream swore as he ran. His back burned with pain from where his wing had been torn away. Flying was impossible. His frantic run just made more energon burst free from his energon lines and just made his already exhausted frame ache even more._

_They were coming. He had heard the screech of their tires so many times before, but had never paid the Autobot's any mind. He was faster than them, he had thought they could never catch up to him._

_The sound of an engine booming burst into the night as they drove faster and faster._

"_They can't catch me" Starscream breathed, his vision hot and staticky as denial bloomed in his field. He had thought they would never be able to catch him, ever ever ever—and yet there they were, racing after him. They would claim him. Megatron had seen to that. His only remaining wing ached with pain and shook as more energon sluiced out of the puncture wounds all across its surface. Megatron had dug his claws in hard and deep, ripping away one wing, mangling the other, and thoroughly humiliating his second-in-command._

_They were just around the corner now. The tires screeched louder and louder, piercing his helm and ringing in his processor. Starscream stopped and doubled over, his frame scratched and bloodied and his field wavering with fear._

_The fear was always present. Fear of the council, fear of Megatron, and fear of the Autobots._

_Terror coiled around his spark, blood gushed out of his back, and Starscream waited._

_The sound of tires rolling up behind him rumbled into the air. The swift clanking noises of bots transforming rung out behind him and a massive EM field brushed against his, bursting with hot static and pure power._

_Starscream spit out a globule of energon and rose shakily to his pedes. He wouldn't cower in front of his enemy—he cowered in front of Megatron enough as it already was._

_Starscream stood, took a deep breath, and turned around to face his captor._

"_Hello, Prime."_

_Optimus inclined his helm. Several Autobots stood behind them, their blue blasters all pointed at him and all shining blindingly bright._

"_It's about time you caught up to me," Starscream huffed as he tried to ignore the fear rising in his spark._

_Optimus said nothing and just scanned him, his optics taking in the sight of his battered and bruised frame. "You will be coming with us, Starscream."_

_He raised his servo and Starscream flinched. This was it, this was the moment the Prime would beat him._

_The Prime's optics widened and he lowered his servo again. For whatever reason, the Prime was surprised by his flinch. Starscream knew an advantage when he saw one._

"_They'll come for me," he said haughtily as he put his servos on his hips. Lies, all of it was lies. The commlink had gone cold long ago. "When Megatron arrives, you will have much bigger priorities."_

"_He left you behind, didn't he?" Optimus said. _

_Starscream thought his bold words and quips would've evoked some kind of reaction, some kind of feeling out of the Prime—but there was nothing. His field was as calm and smooth as ever._

"_I chose to be here!" Starscream snarled._

_Optimus just looked at him. "You _chose _to bleed out alone here?"_

"_No, well—"_

_He was losing control. His lifeblood was pouring out from him, he was surrounded by enemies, Megatron was far, far away, and Starscream felt rage and despair coil in his gut all at once. Optimus just stared at him, ever-calm and unflappable._

"_Get it over with!" Starscream snapped._

_Optimus blinked. "Get what over with?"_

"_This pathetic game of yours. You and I both know what must be done!" Starscream said as he leaped back and transformed his servos into blasters. "I'll try to fight you, I will... but you and I both know how this will end. Just get it over with."_

_Optimus looked confused and uncertain, but it was hard to tell from behind his battle mask. It was all just was all just an act, though—Prime was never uncertain of anything. He had seen the Prime slice decisively and quickly through the frames of his enemies as if they were nothing. _

_Prime said and did nothing. He just stood there and stared at him with his endlessly calm and patient optics. It drove Starscream mad. He was used to being able to read mechs, he was used to being able to take one glance at them and just _know _what they were thinking and going to do. _

_Optimus was unreadable. Starscream looked at his frame, really looked at the way he held himself and his field and his optics—Primus, those optics—_

_And he saw nothing._

_Optimus's thoughts were a complete and utter mystery to him. _

_Fear closed in around his spark._

_"Why are you waiting?" he snarled._

_"I am waiting for you to explain what you think will happen to you. Starscream, what precisely do you mean when you say that I need to 'get it over with'?"_

_Starscream hissed at him. "Well, aren't you going to beat me?"_

_Optimus recoiled. "No, I would never beat a hurt mech, not unless they proved to be a threat."_

_"I'm tired of your games, Prime. Let's get this over with Prime. Just... just push me down and crush my spark. I'll fight you, and you'll fight me—_"

_"What?"_

"—and you'll win and tear my back open even more. It's the way of things. Or maybe you won't tear my back open, I'm really not sure how you beat your soldiers... w_hat _are _you going to do to me?" Starscream asked softly. He hated having to ask, hated it all so much, but he had to know just what his punishment would be._

_It could've just been a trick of the light, but for a single moment Starscream thought he saw the Prime's optic's soften. "Starscream—"_

_Optimus's helm shot off to the side. A groundbridge opened up and a whole horde of vehicons came bursting through. _ _Starscream saw an opportunity and took it. He leaped away from the Prime just as he turned back around. Optimus reached out his servo to grab Starscream__—_

_Starscream felt the brush of his digits across his armor—_

_And Starscream ran away from the Prime and deep into the firefight. He ran for the bridge, and he never looked back. He didn't know what the Prime was planning on doing to him. But he knew what Megatron planned on doing to him on the other side of the bridge._

"_Starscream!" Megatron shouted at him as his bleeding frame collapsed back down onto the Nemesis. _

"_You have _failed _me, _" _Megatron snarled as he stomped over to him and grabbed ahold of his shoulder._

_Energon ran down from where Megatron's claws punctured his shoulder. Yes, Starscream knew exactly what awaited him here._

* * *

He hated everything.

Starscream trudged through the forest and smashed through the trees with the Autobots by his side. Night was falling and he had to squint to see. Tall mountains and hills rose all around them with a single road looping across the narrow cliff sides and through the canyons. The bright lights of an energon mine were up ahead.

"Can we just get this over with?" Starscream grumbled.

"Can't recharge just yet, Screamer. We still got a ways to go!" Bulkhead said as he tromped beside him.

Starscream rolled his optics and sighed. Bumblebee and Optimus glanced at each other and back at Starscream.

_"So..." _Bumblebee began awkwardly as he ran up beside him. _"You're fine?"_

Starscream rolled his optics. "Why wouldn't I be?"

_"You're not... seeing things again?"_

"I see an annoying Autobot."

Bulkhead snorted. "He's fine, Bee."

Starscream froze. "There's something wrong here."

"Oh slag, he's seeing scrap again!" Bulkhead moaned.

Starscream groaned. "No, something's wrong with this mine for real!"

"How observant of you!"

Knock Out and Breakdown came strolling out of the mine with cubes of energon heaped up into their servos and a dozen drones at their backs.

"You!" Starscream snarled.

"Yes. _Me!_" Knock Out declared as the drones rushed around behind him and hurriedly loaded energon through a groundbridge.

"Long time no see, Screamer," Breakdown said as he sneered at Starscream and Bulkhead.

"Move away from the energon!" Bulkhead shouted.

"I don't think so. The big M wants it for himself. Are you sure you aren't lost, Screamer? You should be on the Nemesis! I knew you were treacherous, but I never thought you'd go for Prime! You went Autobot on us," Knock Out scoffed.

"I am an associate _of _the Autobots!" It didn't feel right to call himself an Autobot—he hadn't earned that privilege. Not yet. Optimus was looking at him.

"You're an Autobot now, whether you call yourself one or not," Breakdown growled. There was so much anger in his field it made Starscream flinch.

"This does not need to be violent. Hand over the energon," Optimus said, his battle mask retracting over his faceplate.

Knock Out ignored him. "I can't believe you went over to _their _side. Whatever happened to overthrowing Megatron, hmm?"

Starscream's servos clenched into fists by his side. "I still will do that! But with… backup."

Something violet shone from within the cave. Starscream felt his spark freeze in his chestplates. Soundwave stood there amongst the hustle and bustle of the vehicons loading the energon through the bridge. The bright light of the bridge cast his frame into sharp contrasts and made his shadow fall upon Starscream.

Starscream stepped backwards as horror filled his field. "Not again, not again! This has to end!"

Starscream fired a missile and watched it arc through the air. It flew right past Knock Out and Breakdown and right towards Soundwave. At the very last moment he gracefully moved to the side and let the missile streak past him and slam into the groundbridge, making it explode in a giant fireball.

Knock Out and Breakdown looked at each other.

"I think that's our cue to leave," Knock Out said. They both transformed and drove off into the night down the winding roads, their cabs glowing brightly with stolen energon.

Bumblebee lunged forward and prepared to transform.

"Bumblebee, hold on. Something is not right here, this could very well be a trap. They are headed into difficult to navigate terrain and they are not carrying enough energon to warrant risking ourselves for."

The Autobots kept on talking but all Starscream could hear was the sound of their tires screeching off into the night. The Autobots wanted energon from him. They expected Starscream to provide them with energy, and the energy was right there, racing away from them all. Starscream froze and watched Knock Out and Breakdown drive off until the only noises he could hear were the screech of their tires and the sound of his own energon pumping through his lines.

The Autobots were talking about… something. The world seemed to slow down and melt away until all Starscream could see was the bright red glow of Knock Out and Breakdown's tail lights as they raced away.

"It's just too dangerous to go after them," Arcee sighed as frustration blared in her field.

They were escaping. They were getting farther and farther away and he could _not _allow that, could not allow this chance to slip away.

"Starscream—" Optimus began as he looked over to him. He was saying _something,_ but Starscream couldn't hear him past the frenzied sounds of the battle—the sounds of the Cybertronian battle were coming back now—and he couldn't hear him past the noise of Knock Out and Breakdown's tires. They drove farther and farther away and all Starscream could hear was the roar of his energon pumping harder in his frame—

"I'll get them," Starscream said.

Optimus opened his intake to respond—

Starscream ran up to him. "I will get them for you. This mission won't be a failure!"

"Starscream, what are you talking about?" Optimus said as his field cautiously waved around him.

Another blaster bolt from a drone slammed into the ground beside them, sending a cloud of dust everywhere and obscuring both of their frames. Starscream's optics glowed blood-red in the dark cloud as it drifted past.

"I'll catch them for you!"

"Starscream, _no. _"

"Is this a test, is that what this is? I'll pass it!"

He activated his jet engine. Optimus's optics widened.

"_No—!" _

Starscream ran forward and transformed as he leaped into the air. For a split moment he just hovered there in the air beside Optimus, the Prime's shocked faceplate reflected upon the glass of his cockpit.

The massive dust cloud Knock Out and Breakdown's tires created covered the entire sky as they slowly took off, their taillights burning brightly like suns in the night. The Decepticon sigil on their sides shone brightly and reflected the bright glow of the stolen energon. He had to shoot the grounders down. He flew and weaved around blaster bolts fired from the drones, spinning around and flipping past the bolts as he lunged at Knock Out and Breakdown. This was the last mission of the day and Primus, he could not afford to let it get away, or else he'd fail the mission and would have so many problems for him back at base. His energon pumped hard in his systems and his wings and engine ached, but he had to keep flying, he just _had_ to.

A single shot to both of their tires was all that it would take to bring them crashing into each other. Something red and blue flashed off to the side of him before vanishing, but he couldn't focus on that. He activated his targeting system, locked onto the engines, prepared to launch his missile—

Starscream gunned his engines and flew at full speed, the wind rushing and roaring past his frame as the Decepticons got farther and farther away from them. His entire frame ached with exhaustion but he had to push himself. He was so slow, so much slower than he usually was, but he had to be fast enough to catch them. He _had _to. He didn't know the price for failure.

Starcream sent another burst of power to his engines with a booming burst of noise as he shot towards the two of them like a bullet—

A massive weight slammed into his side and he was thrown into the air.

Starscream forcibly transformed back into his root-mode and slammed into the forest floor. He lifted his helm up, his optics bright and wide as he saw Breakdown and Knock Out swerve away from them down the road. Starscream reached out his servo, activated his t-cog as he prepared to take-off again—

They drove around a corner and out of sight.

"Starscream!"

Starscream swivelled around and came faceplate to faceplate with Optimus. He was kneeling in the dirt beside him and his entire frame was dirtied and scratched.

How could he possibly be there? He'd left Optimus far behind in his dust when he'd taken off.

"How—?"

"_You have failed me!"_ Megatron had shouted that night on the battlefield. And that one time on the Nemesis. And that one time in the cave. And so, so many times before. Another failure to add to the list. And Starscream had just failed Optimus, so now Optimus would be the one to yell _"You have failed me!"_

Starscream growled and shook his helm. He couldn't afford to fail his new team after he'd just gotten it—he didn't know what the consequences were or what the punishment would be.

"I'll get them, you'll see, Prime, I don't know why I crashed, but—" Starscream groaned as he sat up. Hot energy raced throughout his systems and his frame rattled as the sheer power from his explosive blast through the sky continued to inundate his systems. Static hissed in his audials and his vision pixellated, but none of that mattered, the pain did not matter—the Autobots had an opportuntiy to get ahead in the war, _Optimus _had an opportunity to get ahead, and he had to get it for them.

"Starscream, calm down!"

"Don't lie to me! I need to get them, we need this advantage!"

"You are burning up! You are in no condition to continue this mission."

"My condition doesn't _matter!" _

Starscream flipped into his alt-mode and sent more power to his engines. The sheer energy raced throughout his frame and made error messages ping all across his HUD, but that wasn't important. He flexed his ailerons and prepared to take off—

He felt himself being picked up and crushed against a massive metal chest.

"Optimus, _what—? _"

Optimus had picked him up tight in his arms and was shoving him up against his frame, his massive red arms enclosed around his wing.

"Let me go."

"Not until you agree not to hurt yourself."

Primus, why didn't the Prime just _understand _? Starscream transformed back into his root-mode and tried to shove the massive arms around his midsection away. Optimus just held him even tighter.

He looked past Optimus's frame and down into the valley below. Knock Out laughed and Breakdown honked as a bright green groundbridge appeared on the road right before them. They slipped through the groundbridge, completely vanishing from his view.

Starscream just sat there, his frame having and his entire frame shaking with raw energy as his fans roared and desperately tried to cool off his burning frame. He stared off across the forest floor. Two sets of tire tracks stretched off and then vanished ahead of him.

"_Slag!" _he yelled out as he tried to wrench himself free from Optimus's arms. Optimus just held on tighter.

He had been so close, he practically felt the air vibrating with the energy from their exhaust—

And they had gotten away.

"Starscream…" Optimus began.

"It doesn't make any sense! I could've gotten them, but something hit me and sent me skidding over here to you!" Starscream breathed out as he struggled in Optimus's grasp. How did the Prime get there anyway? He had left Optimus behind in his wake far back in the woods, so how was he there with Starscream?

Suddenly, he remembered. He had seen a flash of bright red and blue armor as he had flown along.

"You… you drove after me! _You _slammed into me! You stopped me!"

"I had no choice, Starscream. You were endangering yourself. What you did was reckless and could have resulted in serious injury to your frame."

"I could've gotten them!" Starscream snapped.

Optimus shook his helm and placed one of his heavy servos on Starscream's shoulders to hold him down. "No. You could _not_ have gotten them."

"I was flying fast enough!"

"Did you notice that you were flying towards a mountain?"

Starscream snapped his intake shut and peered past Optimus and into the trees. A large rock wall that sloped up into a mountain was right down the road. The groundbridge that Knock Out and Breakdown had driven into had appeared right before that rockwall.

"You would not have reached them in time. They would have driven through the groundbridge, the groundbridge would have disappeared, and you would have hit the mountain at full speed."

Starscream was silent. He moaned and held his helm in his servos. He could still feel the long weld mars stretching across the side of his helm, a long and upraised bump that scarred him. A constant reminder of his past failure.

He didn't know he long he just sat there, his frame shaking as it cooled down as he stared off into the empty night.

"Starscream?" Optimus said. Starscream could feel the Prime watching him.

Starscream just sat there in his grasp and breathed heavily. A deep sense of dread suddenly settled down within his internal tanks. Optimus's shadow fell over him, completely covering him.

He had _failed_, and oh Primus did he hate that word.

The dust cloud left behind by the Decepticon's tires was fading away. Starscream struggled and thrashed as his frame burned up on the inside, trying to escape Optimus's arm and the dread of his failure.

Starscream stopped struggling and just rested there, his frame shaking and his helm pressed between Optimus's windshields. The hot energy that had raced throughout his systems was all gone now, leaving behind nothing but a cold void in its wake.

They just sat there on the forest floor amongst the tire tracks and the spilt energon, Starscream's frame bleeding off energy and Optimus's arms restraining him.

"Are you calm now?"

"Why did you do that?" Starscream hissed. He had been so close, so close, just one more burst of energy away from victory, and then—

"You tried to hurt yourself. Starscream, the mission was over. It was lost. Yet you continued to try and pursue them, and I could not afford to let that happen. You are burning up."

Starscream froze.

"_You are burning up." _The last time he had heard those words was when he and Optimus were alone in the snow before the ambush, alone with only pain and memories of the past to keep them company.

"Why did you try to pursue them?" Optimus said. His voice was not angry at all. It almost sounded as if the Prime… _pitied _him.

Starscream tensed up. "Let me go."

"Not until I know that you will not attempt something dangerous again."

"The opportunity is gone, Prime, thanks to you! I could've gotten them, I could've _stopped _them, I could've—"

"—gotten hurt," Optimus finished.

Starscream fell silent.

"Starscream… you knew the mission was lost. You knew that going after them would endanger yourself. Yet you pursued them anyway."

Starscream scoffed. "Yes, that was the idea."

Optimus was silent for several moments. He continued to hold Starscream tight against his frame.

"Did you… _want _to get hurt?"

"Primus, no! Why would I want to get all dented up?"

"Then why—?"

"_Because I had to!"_

Optimus looked down at Starscream. The Seeker twisted and tried to get away but Optimus just held him tighter.

"Why do you think that?" the Prime said softly. His field began to ebb and flow around the both of them in a strange way Starscream hadn't felt before.

"Because that's how missions work," Starscream scoffed. "I hate risking myself like that, but I need to. It's just the way of things. You try your hardest to achieve your goal. No matter the consequences."

Megatron's old words echoed through his helm. "_No matter the consequences." _When Starscream shut his optics he could still see the skeletal remains of the burning buildings of Iacon far off on the horizon.

"Did Megatron tell you that?"

"Yes, of course!"

"...He told you to accomplish the mission no matter the consequences."

Starscream was about to scoff again and say something quippy when suddenly he looked up at Optimus's faceplate. The words died in his intake. Optimus was just staring off into space, his jaw set and his armor held tightly around him. A hot blast of static raced out from the Prime's field and across Starscream's armor. He held Starscream tighter.

"No matter the consequences," Optimus quietly repeated. Starscream remained silent.

Optimus suddenly looked down at Starscream. "How many of his own soldiers did he sacrifice to further his cause?"

Starscream's jaw dropped. There was something foreign and strange and _angry _in Optimus's optics and that frightened him. He went through all his memories of Megatron on the battlefield, all of the times he tossed his soldiers into the line of fire to create a diversion. All of the times he grabbed ahold of his shoulder and tightened his servo and leaned in and whispered, "_I do not care if you get hurt, Starscream. You must feel pain to get power and you must get power so that you can __**inflict**__pain—"_

"Many times." Starscream whispered. Optimus just held him tighter.

"He would let them burn away, wouldn't he? I have always known that Megatron cared little for the safety of his army… yet I thought that he tried to keep his more valuable soldiers somewhat unharmed at the very least. It would appear that I was wrong. I have always known that he is willing to sacrifice many lives and inflict much pain to achieve his goals… but to know that he was willing to sacrifice _you, _one of his most important commanders..." Optimus frowned. "How many lives did he throw away in this war? How many of his own soldiers did he let _burn up _while they were trying to please him?"

"...It is the way of things, Prime. He only cares for his own safety. If you're too weak to defend yourself, then you get left behind. That's how it had been with his other soldiers and that's how it is with…"

_Me. _The word floated unspoken between them.

"Just get it over with," Starscream whispered.

"Get what over with?"

"My punishment! You know what I'm talking about!" Starscream snapped as he twisted his helm up and finally faced Prime. Optimus's optics widened once he saw the dust covering Starscream's faceplate.

"Starscream, what punishment?"

"Don't be coy with me. I failed the mission, Prime. You and I both know I have to pay for that."

Optimus loosened his hold on him and placed a single servo atop his shoulder. "Starscream, you will not be punished."

"Don't _lie," _Starscream laughed bitterly. "Just get it over with."

He twisted out of Prime's grasp. He turned around and spread his wings, baring the blank space between his wings home to the delicate sensors and nerves that controlled his wings. Several long dark scars stretched down his back there.

"Starscream, what are you—?" Optimus began. He looked at the scars on his back. He felt the way Starscream shook slightly beside him.

Realization dawned and horror bloomed in Optimus's field. "... _No." _

Starscream blinked and turned around. Optimus crouched there beside him, his optics piercingly bright and his entire frame stiff.

This was it.

This was the moment Optimus would punish him.

Prime had said back in the cave that he never beat his soldiers, but that was what all military commanders said. It was easy to make promises like that. Just because he said he didn't beat them doesn't mean that he punishes them in other ways. Maybe he threw them. Maybe he withheld energon. Maybe he locked them up. That was how Sentinel Prime had punished his soldiers. Except there was a little voice in the back of Starscream's helm that disagreed with that assessment, a sense that there was something strange and new here that he didn't understand—

A deep and heavy sigh left the Prime's frame as he sat down beside Starscream on the dusty desert floor.

"Do you remember what I told you in the cave?"

Starscream frowned. He didn't like delays. "You said many things, Prime."

"I will never beat you, never. That one simple act of violence is what separates Autobots from Decepticons."

"And I believe you! But Optimus… that's what Megatron said, too. All military commanders say things like that. They say they won't hurt you, and the next moment they—" Starscream bit his lip and turned away. He couldn't do this right now. His frame ached and hurt, everything was dusty, the night was dark and cold, and Optimus was staring at him with those deep blue optics.

Starscream took a breath and began again. "I understand that you don't quite hurt the Autobots the same way Megatron disciplines his soldiers, but you still have to discipline the Autobots _somehow. _Sure, you may not throw me across the room or crush my spark chamber, but you still have to do _something _to me to ensure that I do not mess up again! You may be nice to me one day, but… that doesn't mean you'll be nice to me the next day."

Optimus shook his helm and stared off across the desert floor. He was silent.

"...Where did they return to?"

Starscream blinked. "Knock Out and Breakdown? They returned to the Nemesis. Where else?"

Optimus nodded. "Back to Megatron. Do you think he will be pleased with them?"

He could see the scene play out in his processor. Knock Out and Breakdown would both stand before Megatron with their stolen energon. Megatron would look out over it, he'd walk up to them, and he'd…

"He'll be pleased," Starscream said.

"Yes, he will be pleased with them for today. But what about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? They'll just try to get more energon for him, what are you talking about?"

"Megatron may be satisfied with their performance today, but they have no guarantee that he will not be kind the next day. He could be cruel or kind to them tomorrow, they do not know. And they will not know how they will be treated for that day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Every day is fraught with uncertainty. But not here with us, Starscream. With each passing day you can be _certain _that you will not be abused or mistreated in any way. My soldiers do not live with that uncertainty hanging over their helm."

It just sounded too good to be true. Every day Starscream wondered whether he'll be in his own berth or the medbay berth when he went to recharge every night.

"That can't be right," Starscream grumbled. Primus, this was confusing.

"It is right. It is the _right _way to treat your soldiers."

"...Starscream? How many mechs does he abuse?"

"Pfft, he roughens up quite a few vehicons every once in a while. What does this have to do with anything?"

Optimus frowned. "But how many mechs have had their spark chambers crushed in by him?"

Starscream froze. "What? How do you know about that?!"

Optimus leaned back, guilt filling his field. "You sent Ratchet your medical records. He inspected your spark himself. I am sorry that that happened to you—"

"Slag!" Starscream shouted as he punched the ground. That was his secret, his greatest humiliation, one of the biggest things he was hiding from the Autobots. And they knew. They had bared his spark to them, had _seen _it—

"When did you open me up?! I didn't give you permission to that!"

"Back when you received your helm injury. Ratchet had to ascertain the extent of the damage. It was necessary. I am sorry you feel violated, but it had to be done."

"You opened me up. You looked right into me." Starscream breathed as he crossed his arms over his chestplates. It would've been so easy for them to snuff his spark. So easy.

"I did not actually see your spark, only Ratchet did. But I do not need to see your spark to understand that Megatron has deeply hurt it. You spark will never be crushed by me or any other Autuobot within the base, ever."

Starscream stayed silent.

"...How far has this abuse spread? Has he hurt other mech's spark chambers?"

"No. Just mine."

Optimus's optics widened. "What about Soundwave, Breakdown, or Knock Out?"

"None of them. He hardly beats them," Starscream said quietly. "He never punishes Soundwave at all. He'll punish Breakdown and Knock Out if they fail to get energon. Most of the time he'll forbid them from racing, or give them extra work, but he does nothing too bad to them if they fail. He hardly lays a servo on them."

"...And when _you _fail a mission?"

Starscream laughed bitterly. "I get all of the beatings they _should've _gotten whenever _I _fail. It's all just for me, Prime. Just me."

Optimus was silent for a moment. "He only beats you? Why?"

Starscream scoffed. "What, is this some test of yours? Why _not? _Somebody has to take the anger."

"...No. The only bot who has to deal with Megatron's anger should be Megatron himself. It is his responsibility to control himself, and if he cannot control himself, he should have no control over other mechs."

"Optimus, it's just…" Starscream couldn't find the words. Why did he get hit and not the others? What made him so hittable?

Starscream let out a heavy vent. "It's just the way of things."

"It shouldn't be. He is cruel and temperamental. But Starcream—"

Optimus shifted and looked over at Starscream, his field dead serious around him. "No matter how bad things may get, no matter how much a mission fails, you will not be beaten or cruelly punished in _any _way. Not just physically. Do you understand that?"

"But… well… you have to do _something _to the failures! What do you do with soldiers who have failed?" Starscream snapped out as frustration blared up in his field.

"By doing what I am doing to you right this very moment."

Starscream rolled his optics. "And what, precisely, are you doing to me in this moment?"

"I am helping you."

Starscream just stared at him. His jaw dropped slightly.

"When my soldiers fail a mission, I help them understand what they did wrong and I _help _them improve. I do not beat them and push them down. I raise them up. And even then, Starscream, it was not your fault you failed this mission. Sheer chance is what failed us here, not you. Do you understand that?"

"You understand," Starscream said flatly as shock fizzled through his field. "You... _you understand _."

Optimus blinked. "I am not following—"

"Because Megatron never understood me! Even when it wasn't my fault, even when I tried my hardest, he never understood that it wasn't _me _that was the problem! Whenever something went slightly wrong, he'd take his anger out on me. Whenever sheer chance got in the way and something out of our control fragged things up, he'd always take it out on _me, _" he gasped out, the words just rushing out of his intake and into the cold air.

Optimus just stared at him. "So you finally admit that it wasn't your fault that you failed the mission?"

Starscream snapped his intake shut.

"How long have you been lying to yourself, telling yourself that _you _were the problem, and not him? Is that how you accepted what was happening?"

Starscream frowned and said nothing.

"You don't have to accept his tyranny anymore. Sometimes, you can try your absolute hardest, and you can still fail. And that's okay. _That, _Starscream, is the true way of things. Not whatever Megatron taught you… Do _you _understand?"

Starscream nodded slowly as sheer exhausted settled into his struts. The red-hot energy that had propelled him across the skies had finished dissipating, leaving Starscream feeling numb and tired to his core.

"I… I think so," Starscream said. He thought he understood, but he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of a lot of things anymore.

"But what do you do when one of your Autobots fails not because of chance, but because they did something that is... bad, something that you consider immoral? Even though they know it will upset you?" Starscream said slowly. He thought of Cliffjumper kneeling before him, his blue optics bright with life and his field cocky and arrogant. He thought of how it felt to have his energon slowly leak over his talons as the light from his blue optics died.

"Then I will help them become a better mech."

"Aren't you going to punish me? Make me suffer?" Starscream snapped. "Aren't you going to punish me for killing—"

Starscream snapped his intake shut as the pit of his tank dropped out. He froze as cold dread spread through him. That was the second time he'd made the mistake of bringing _him _up. The second time his emotions got the better of him and brought the memory of that dead mech back to the surface.

_Cliffjumper. _The name hung in the air between them, an eternal reminder of an irreversible crime.

"...Aren't you going to make me suffer… for _him?_" Starscream said softly as his frame tensed up.

"...Starscream, I think you already have suffered for his death quite a lot. His death will constantly hang over your helm and the road to redemption will be a long and hard one. For as long as you are online you must work to redeem yourself for his sake. Do what he might have done had you not deactivated him: bring justice. Bring peace to Cybertron in his name."

They sat there in silence. Starscream felt a hot sting of regret whenever the dead Autobot's name was mentioned, yet he wasn't sure _why _he felt bad for his death. He wasn't sure if he regretted killing Cliffjumper because it made his life so much more complicated, or if he regretted killing him because he genuinely grieved for the loss of his spark.

Cliffjumper was a mystery to him and now that he was dead, he would never get to know him. The shadow of a dead mech he never knew would constantly follow him.

Optimus just looked at him, his field flowing around him patiently and considerably. Starscream still didn't entirely understand Prime's kindness—but he felt that he understood it just a bit better that night.

He stared off into the night and loosened his tense frame. It seemed he wouldn't be getting another scar behind his back after all.

"Megatron would command you to put yourself in mortal danger for him, wouldn't he?"

Starscream dragged his knees to his chest and nodded.

Optimus let out a deep and heavy sigh. "He left you behind and he hurt you," he said as he glanced over to him. The sun was completely gone now and only their red and blue optics lit up the night.

"This is the second time we've had one of these chats. The second time I've just broken down. It still baffles me that you keep coming back."

"I'll come back as many times as I need to, Starscream. As many times as I need to. Do you want to talk about Megatron?"

He stared off into the night. Somewhere high up in the sky was the Nemesis, endlessly cruising on and on. Somewhere above the earth was Megatron, awaiting his return.

He could picture Megatron. The sight of him standing at the head of the bridge while looking out over the world was deeply familiar to him, yet the idea of actually _talking _about Megatron, about the way he had treated him, the way he threw him across the room, about the way he had crushed his spark chamber—

No. Not today.

"...Can we just sit here for now?"

Optimus nodded and settled down beside him. They stared off into the night together.

* * *

Yes, Starscream would be here. Megatron could feel it in his spark. At any moment he'd hear the roar of an opening groundbridge and at any moment he'd see Starscream emerge around the corner.

Soundwave was concerned. His Lord couldn't just keep wandering through abandoned mines in the hopes he'd stumble across Starscream and the Prime. He stared at Megatron's tight frame and twitching optics. Megatron would not yield to reason, so Soundwave just had to yield to him.

Megatron stared off into the dark, his fusion cannon at full charge, and the warlord wondered. Would Starscream come strolling in, haughty and full of confidence, ready to be struck down? Or would he drop down in terror and immediately submit himself to Megatron?

He did not know. What he did know, though, was that Starscream had to be brought back to the Nemesis at all costs. He wanted to find him, he wanted to take him, and he wanted to ensure that this treachery would never occur ever again.

Prime has taken so much from him. The time has come to take something back.

"Soundwave," Megatron said, his voice booming out into the dark cave.

Soundwave turned to him, his violet visor slowly considering his Lord. He loaded up the image of Optimus helping Starscream down the cliff again. Megatron growled and clenched his fists as wrath filled his field. Even the sight of the two of them together made something deep inside of him scream in rage.

He hated the picture, he wanted to burn it away and make it melt off into slag. But he couldn't do that. He needed that picture, needed the constant reminder of the two traitors to help him keep going forward. He stared at the picture, felt hatred well up in every strut of his frame, and he committed the picture to memory.

Soon he'd see them in person. Soon Starscream and Optimus Prime would come through that groundbridge _together. _And when they did come through together, Megatron would ensure that they'll never get to be together again.

So he sat. He stared at the picture.

And he waited.


	7. The Ruins of War

The more knowledge you had, the more powerful you were. And Soundwave was _very _powerful.

He glided through the crashed ship like a ghost. This abandoned Autobot warship had failed to destroy the Decepticons eons ago in some long-forgotten battle back then. But Soundwave would use it to destroy the Autobots now in the present day. They were a desperate group, ready to scavenge and take whatever information they possibly could. They would find energon in this ship and _more, _so much more.

A thousand files were loaded up into his processor, each one full of violence. One file contained a picture of Starscream standing tall over the energon-covered frame of an Autobot he had slaughtered. Another file contained footage of Starscream soaring and sweeping over a Cybertronian city as he unleashed a flurry of fire. The Autobots wouldn't know what city Starscream was destroying in that footage—that did not matter. What mattered was the evidence of the act itself.

Soundwave was hardly seen and hardly heard by other bots, but that did not mean he wasn't seeing and hearing everything. Every moment of the war, every bot who had been deactivated by his talons, every single city burnt away—all of that information was stored within him.

Soundwave dug deep into his memory banks and pulled out all of the most gruesome, most bloody footage of Starscream slaying Autobots he could possibly find. He let a thousand years of violence load up into his processor and flicked through each file, each piece of evidence of each crime Starscream ever committed in this war.

The Autobots were liars, they had to be. Soundwave did not know what they lied about giving the Seeker in exchange for his treachery, or what lies Starscream crafted to wheedle his way into their ranks.

All Soundwave knew was the bloody truth about how awful Starscream truly was. The truth was all it took to tear apart a lie, no matter how well-crafted the lie was. Soundwave let the truth of Starscream's crimes load up into his processor—_every moment of Starscream during the war, every bot he deactivated, every city he burnt down—_all of the footage and files and evidence of Starscream's war crimes downloaded into Soundwave's helm.

They thought they knew the extent of Starstarscream's crimes, but only Soundwave truly knew the extent. Only Soundwave stood beside Starscream and kept track of his trail of destruction as the Nemesis aimlessly wandered through the dark spaces between the stars. Only Soundwave knew of all of the crimes Starscream committed while the Decepticons ventured through space alone, far from any Autobots.

Once the Autobots know of the true extent of those crimes, they'd drop the Seeker like the worthless trash he was. Then all Soundwave had to do was come pick him up and return Starscream to his rightful place aboard the Nemesis.

Soundwave glided through the crashed and ruined ship as he brought the ancient systems back to life one by one. He stood at the mouth of the crumbling ship and looked out into the night sky before sending out one pulse, one lone signal. By the end of the day Starscream would be back in Megatron's grasp after the Autobots exile him from their team upon discovering the true extent of his crimes. And once Megatron had ahold of Starscream, he would _not _let go of him again.

The Autobots would have to be powerful and clever in order to see through the Seeker's lies. He'd lie, he'd scheme, he'd try to do everything he could to convince them that he was worth keeping. But no lie was more powerful than the truth, though, and Soundwave would do whatever it took to deliver the truth of Starscream's crimes to the Autobots.

Knowledge was power after all, and Soundwave was about to give the Autobots all the knowledge they could ever need about Starscream.

For once, Soundwave _wanted _the Autobots to be powerful.

* * *

Starscream woke up and just stared at the ceiling. He could still hear the cries of dying mechs and the vast skeletal frames of Iacon's towers crumbling in the breeze. He could still hear Optimus's words echoing in his helm.

The coordinates of the mine D-16 hovered on his HUD.

"I should give it to them," Starscream mumbled to himself as he stared at the coordinates. It would have been so easy, so terribly easy to just hand over his most prosperous mine over to the Autobots—they just needed the coordinates.

Starscream got up, rose to his pedes, and he just stared at the door. And stared. All he had to was comm somebody, let them come in and he could give them the best mine he'd ever created—but something made him stop.

Megatron's voice whispered in his helm. "_You will always return to me, Starscream. Always."_

He may have been in the Autobot base in that moment, but a part of him always remained there on the Nemesis with Megatron.

Anxiety suddenly rose up in his field. He backed away from the door and pressed himself against the wall. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of sending over all those precious coordinates over to Optimus frightened him. He'd worked so hard to ensure that this one mine never fell into Autobot servos, and there he was considering it giving it to them. The idea of sending the mine coordinates over to the Prime made him feel is if he were ripping away a part of himself.

His chronometers kept on ticking down. The ultimatum was coming. Soon he'd have to choose to stay with the Autobots or to return to Megatron. He just wanted to flop back onto his thin berth and not think about anything for the next year. But he didn't have a year—he just had two days.

Starscream let out a shaky vent. He knew what he had to choose—he just didn't know if he could go through with the choice. He let out a shaky breath and took in a deep vent—

And he smelled ash.

* * *

_Vos was lost to him._

_Starscream laid there on the ground and just stared up at the smoking husks of Vos's glistening spires. Once they had stood so tall that he had to crane his neck cabling up to see their glittering pinnacles. Now they were nothing but skeletal frames against the red sky._

—Starscream flinched suddenly. He was in his cell in the Autobot base, not on Cybertron. Cybertron was far, far away—

_Starscream kicked his way through the debris and walked past the deactivated frames of fallen Seekers. _

_Iacon shone off to the east like a sun. Vos was rubble and ash, but Iacon was still glistening and intact. For now. His optics were blurry and had ash stuck in them, yet he could still see Iacon perfectly clearly. The grounders had ensured that their city was protected._

"_I can't even find my trinemates in this mess! Stupid Council, stupid war," Starscream snarled as he stomped through the debris. "Stupid grounders, stupid—"_

—"Slag it!" Starscream swore. He punched the concrete wall and watched it crack as he stood there. The memories were coming back now. He could not afford to let them come back, couldn't get lost back in the horror of that day again—

_A massive ship flew overhead. A sudden feeling of hope burst through his spark and then immediately faded away as the silver ship's insignia came into view. The stern face of the Autobot brand stared down from beneath the ship's smooth silver hull. A single large burn mark was seared into its side. It shot off into the sky, not caring at all about the Seekers dying below it as it activated its hot blue engines and arced off into the night._

_Starscream stared at the ship that helped to murder his people and felt pure rage in his spark, hot overwhelming rage that made static appear in his vision and made his armor tense up—_

_A faint whining noise echoed through the empty streets._

_Starscream's helm shot up and he ran towards the faint sound, his spark pulsing in his chestplates as he knelt down beside a pile of rubble. He shoved the frame of a dead Seeker aside and saw the glint of bright paint down below. _

"_Hold on! No, wait, hold on, I've got you—" _

_He grunted as he hooked his arms around a large piece of rubble and threw it aside, revealing another Seeker buried in the dirt and debris down below. A brief burst of disappointment shot through his field when he saw that it wasn't one of his trinemates. The Seeker looked up at him, her optics faint and dim and her armor smeared with spilt energon._

"_I've got you! I've got you, you survived the bombing too, I'll help you, I can find help—"_

"_Stay here," she said weakly. A trickle of energon leaked out of her intake._

"_Slag it, don't be like that! I'll get you out of there and you'll be fine, you'll see—"_

"_Stay here. Be _here. _Promise me_," _she said softly._

"_Help is coming! Help has to be coming, right? Right. Don't be like that, I don't know who you are, but I'll get you out of this," Starscream said. She just looked at him._

_The rubble around them shifted and a bright light became visible. Starscream blinked. Perhaps it was the light of an approaching medic or the optics of another Seeker, maybe his trinemates—_

_Starscream blinked again and cleared the ash from his optics. That light wasn't coming from beyond the rubble, that light was shining from within the rubble itself. Starscream brushed away some debris with his servo and revealed more of the Seeker's frame. He felt his spark stop in his chestplates._

_The light came from _her _spark. And it was growing dimmer and dimmer._

_Starscream just stared at the shredded and torn open hole that was her torso. She blinked slowly and more energon trickled out of her intake._

"_Stay here. Be here," she repeated._

_Not even the finest medic could treat such a raw spark wound._

_Starscream's vents shuddered as he nodded and sat down beside her. "I'm here, I'm here."_

_He just stayed there and held her servo as he listened to her vents shudder and quake. He didn't know how long he stayed there beside her._

_Vos continued to burn around them. The wind continued to whistle through the empty and broken buildings. Iacon continued to shine off in the distance._

_No help ever came._

_The sound of pedesteps stomped up the road._

_Starscream's optics shot open and he looked around the bend. Finally, someone had bothered to show up._

"_Get your aft over here, whoever you are and come help me! She's dying!"_

_A large mech walked up to him. The bright glow of the burning spires cast his faceplate into deep shadow and obscured his frame. All Starscream could see of the newcomer was his massive silhouette tower over him._

"_Please, help her!"_

"_There is no one there to help," the stranger said._

"_Shut up, loser! She's right there, can't you see?" Starscream snapped at the stranger. He turned back to the dying Seeker, ready to reassure her, and his spark sank in his chestplates._

_Where her spark had once shone was only darkness. Her frame was cold and grey._

_Starscream just knelt there and his jaw dropped as his frame shook._

"_...Can't _you _see?" the stranger repeated._

"_See what? How she's dead?!" Starscream snarled. Hot rage filled every cable of his being. Rage for Iacon, rage for himself for not being able to do anything, and rage at this stranger who showed up and did nothing to help._

"_What is there to see?" Starscream screeched again._

_The large mech's optics burned bright red in the dark gloom. "Do you see why she died?"_

"_Because she was injured, you slagger!"_

_The massive mech stepped forward out of the shadows. Starscream felt his breath leave his vents all at once._

"_She died because she was injured, yes. But she was injured cause the towersmecha chose to kill her," Megatron said._

"_What—you get away from here! I know what you're here for. Vos wants no part of your war!"_

"_Vos is dead. The dead do not want nor speak. But you live. _You _want. You speak. You speak out against the injustice wrought here. You want revenge."_

"_Of course I do!" Starscream said. "Just go away, warlord."_

"_Oh, Starscream. I am always here and I always have been."_

"_What?" Starscream scoffed. He was covered in energon, he couldn't find his trinemates, his frame ached, and his spark ached even more. "I don't have time for your riddles."_

"_I speak no riddles. Riddles hide the truth. I do not hide the truth, I _reveal _the truth! I have always been here! Do you feel that rage in your spark? Do you feel that rage within you waiting to be let free? That raging part of you that wants justice, can you feel it, Starscream?"_

"_Yes, I'm upset! So what?!"_

_Megatron leaned over him and his massive field enveloped Starscream's. Starscream gagged as Megatron's enormous field overwhelmed his. He felt like he was in a massive maelstrom of hot static and determination and injustice and _rage, _so much rage._

"_Feel my rage. I know you feel the same way as I do. Why sit here in the rubble and let our anger consume us when we can instead _use _our anger for a grand purpose?"_

"_Use it for what?" He knew he should just transform and fly away, he knew he should just leave and fine his trinemates and then grab ahold of Skywarp and Thundercracker and never ever let them go. But something about Megatron intrigued him. Wrath bubbled and frothed in his own field. He felt it in Megatron's too._

"_This is what I meant when I said that I have always been here, Starscream. I am rage incarnate. I was placed upon Cybertron to rage against the injustice of our world. You feel that same rage, too. You and I are one in the same." Megatron leaned in until his field completely and utterly enveloped Starscream's and it formed a massive hissing field of hot static and pure anger._

"_We are not the same," Starscream said weakly as Megatron's field consumed his own._

"_We are, oh, but we are. Be strong for yourself! Be strong for me! Fight back against the Council!"_

"_They're dangerous! What if they just kill me? I don't..." Starscream choked out as the hot static of Megatron's field overwhelmed him. "I do want the Council to die, but right now I don't want to fight anybody… I just want to find my trine and go home."_

"_Oh, Starscream," Megatron sighed as sympathy filled his field. "You no longer have a home. The Council has seen to that. You must fight back! You are dangerous, too! You are a weapon that can be wielded! Do not waste your potential on pathetic and fleeting notions of peace—fight for vengeance, for justice!"_

"_Frag off!" Starscream hissed at him as he flared his wings. "I'm not going to destroy bots! I'm not! Well, I'd like to hurt the specific mechs responsible for burning Vos, but—"_

_Starscream wasn't sure, but he swore he saw Megatron's optics twitch._

"—_but I'm not going to go killing bots left and right for you! I'm a scientist! I create!"_

"_What place does creation have in this world of destruction?" Megatron said as he stomped towards him. "All that you and your people have created has been reduced to rubble. Now it is time to reduce their_ murderer's _creations to rubble!"_

_The idea was tantalizing, Starscream could admit that much. To see Iacon burn the same way Vos had would be a grand act of revenge. Starscream shook himself. His trinemates had told him to be wary of Megatron._

"_I have a purpose, a place in the grand design set forth by Primus. I am his chosen," Megatron said proudly._

_Starscream frowned. "Uh, isn't the new Prime the chosen?"_

"_He's an imposter!" Megatron shouted suddenly. "He's a traitor and a thief, that is what he is! Orion Pax needed the Matrix of Leadership to make him into something great. I need no rusty artifact to make myself into something great—I was able to make myself into something strong and powerful and mighty all by my own. I have no need for Primehood and no need for relics. I just need _myself."

_Megatron knelt down until he and Starscream were faceplate to faceplate. "Leave these relics of the past behind and join me. You do not need towersmecha towering over you any longer. Make yourself stronger by joining me! I have need of Seekers, and you are a Seeker in need of a purpose."_

"_A purpose?" Starscream duly repeated. The word meant nothing to him anymore. Once he had been a scientist and dreamed of creating grand things for a grand future. Now he was a criminal covered in rubble. There was no place for dreams and grand purposes in the ashen world that was now their home._

"_No, I need to go," Starscream said as he began to walk off. Every single word Megatron spoke rang true in his spark, but he knew he had to be cautious. He could feel Megatron's presence behind him, the way his optics stared at Starscream as the Seeker walked away—-_

"_They tried you for a crime you did not commit," Megatron said as he grabbed ahold of Starscream's servo and pulled him back to him._

_Starscream froze and felt his spark pulse in his chestplates. He couldn't possibly be talking about the Council, could he?_

"_You were the most talented amongst the students, the most educated. You were Iacon's finest—"_

"_Stop!" Starscream snarled at him as he wrenched his servo away from Megatron._

" —_you were their finest, but you had wings, and for that last reason alone the towersmecha decided that you must die. They tried to kill you three times—"_

"_You know nothing about me! Nothing!" Starscream shouted as he jumped back. Each painful word sunk into his spark and brought back even more painful memories._

" —_they tried to kill you three times, do not deny it. First with an icestorm on a foreign world, then with false claims of murder, then with the wrath of the Enforcers. Thrice they tried to snuff your spark and thrice they failed. You are a warframe and a scientist, a destroyer and a creator all at once. Help me destroy the towersmecha and carve out the cancer that is the Council from Cybertron. Then help me _create _a _better _Cybertron."_

_Starscream got up and began to walk backwards as he tried to narrowly avoid tripping upon the fallen frames and rubble. Megatron got up and followed him as he towered over him, his field hard and stern as it blazed with determination. He rose up and blocked out the sight of the distant glowing towers of Iacon._

_He couldn't possibly join Megatron, he just wasn't meant for the life of a soldier. "Just go away! Destroying... it isn't.. creating—"_

_Megatron leaned in and grabbed ahold of Starscream's wrist. He pulled the Seeker close until all Starscream could see was Megatron's faceplate as it loomed inches before his._

"_Then help me create _destruction."

_Starscream growled and wrenched his arm away. Megatron had left a dent in his wrist. "We can't build a better home if we just keep _destroying _our home, you slagger!"_

"_The trappings of the old era must be burnt away so that the new era can grow in its ashes."_

_Starscream tripped over the prone frame of a fallen Seeker. He whirled around and unsheathed his talons, his wings high and his armor flared. It only seemed to amuse Megatron._

"_Yeah, well, if I burn everything, then what's stopping me from burning up too?"_

"_Burn for _me_. Be strong for me! Help me create a new future where gladiators, Seekers, and shuttles alike can all live in peace."_

_Shuttles._

_An image of Skyfire rose unbidden to his processor. He remembered the way his frame towered over him, but not in a threatening way, _never _in a threatening way. His field had been warm and friendly and so so kind—_

_Starscream slashed at Megatron with his talons and left three bleeding gashes in his chestplate. Megatron said nothing and merely looked at him. He looked down at the energon leaking down his frame and wiped it away with his servo as if the blood spilt meant nothing to him._

"_Join me and burn Iacon. Do it for Vos. Do it for me. Do it for yourself. Do it for _her_. Be there for her. Follow me," Megatron said as he stretched out his energon-covered servo._

_Starscream looked at his servo. He looked at his rapidly falling energon levels data on his HUD. He looked out past Megatron and at the glistening towers of Iacon._

_Starscream ran. He transformed and flew away into the ashen clouds as Megatron watched him fly off from below._

"_Soon I will burn them, Starscream! And you will be there to help me!" he shouted at the Seeker as he flew away. _

_Starscream sent a pulse of power to his engines and flew faster and faster until Megatron was a silver speck on the debris laden ground far below. He flew faster and faster into the ruins of Vos, the only Seeker left where there had once been a million. _

_A memory drifted up from Starscream's processor of a certain shuttle. Skyfire had told him that one day they'd find a mech worth following, a mech worth creating something for._

_Starscream kept flying and flying. Megatron watched him vanish. Soon he'd have Starscream in his servos. Soon._

* * *

He just stood there and stared at the wall. His processor throbbed with pain and his vents began to whir as they tried to clear away nonexistent ash from his frame.

"Oh, Primus," Starscream mumbled to himself. He fell forward and just rested his forehelm right on the cold wall.

He hadn't had a memory trip that bad since… since Megatron returned to the Nemesis after his long absence. Megatron had a tendency to always bring up bad memories.

Starscream growled and punched the wall again. The smell of burnt Seekers roasting away in the flames drifted through his vents, but they weren't real and he would not, _could not_ allow himself to think they were real again, not even for a moment—-

"Starscream."

"Gah! Yes, hello, that is… I." Starscream whirled around, his spark in his throat. Optimus stood in the doorway and just stared at him.

"Come with me," Prime said before he walked away.

Starscream watched him move away back into the shadows. He blinked and checked his chronometer. The sun hadn't even risen yet.

Starscream moved to follow him when he felt something wet trickle down his servo. He held up his talon and saw the bright blue glint of energon well up from a small crack in his digits. Starscream sighed and wiped the blood away before he ran after the Prime into the main room.

"We have intercepted several Decepticon communications," Optimus continued. "They seem to be very interested in a crashed Autobot ship and greatly desire to find it and its resources. We are going to go on a mission to find it before they do."

"Please don't pair me up with the big green Autobot again, he kept making Seeker puns."

Bulkhead laughed. "Don't get _flighty _on me, Screamer!"

Starscream made a choking noise. "Primus, end me now—"

"It will be just you and I, Starscream," Optimus said.

Starscream blinked. He wasn't about to complain. A day free from two-wheelers and Wreckers was a good day indeed. But the way Optimus declared that it would just be the two of them left him with a sense of unease. He'd poured his spark out to the Prime so many times now. It now felt strange to be alone with him, this massive mech whom he had once wanted to kill and who he now followed.

"I desire to speak to you alone," Optimus said as if reading his processor. The computer console pinged and lit up.

"Ah… Did I do something wrong?"

For a moment, Optimus just looked sad. "No—"

"_PRIME!"_

The sound of the elevator pinging open echoed through the base. All of the Autobots froze. Starscream turned around and looked for the bot who had shouted, but saw no one.

"Either the Decepticons are having a luau, or they're raiding the Wheeler Army Airfield in Hawaii! And they're not wearing hula skirts, I can tell you that!" a very angry human shouted as he stomped onto the mezzanine.

Bumblebee suddenly lunged forward and pushed Starscream down until he and Bumblebee were both in a crouch beneath the mezzanine. He held a digit to his battlemask and made a shushing motion. Starscream just blinked. Why the slag was the scout hiding him from a _human_?

"I will send Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Arcee to deal with this threat," Optimus said.

"You better! General Bryce has questions, Prime. The whole government does!"

"_I _have questions," Starscream quietly hissed to Bumblebee. "Who the slag is that?"

"Is it true a Con jumped sides and is now in your base?" Fowler shouted up at Prime.

"Is it true that I am hiding from a fleshie?" Starscream hissed to Bumblebee.

"Yes, Agent Fowler," Optimus said as he ignored the very angry Seeker hidden by his pedes. "Starscream has defected and is now seeking a better life with us."

Bulkhead snorted. "_Seeking, _ha!"

"Please end this. _Please!_" Starscream harshly whispered to Bumblebee. Bumblebee just warbled and beeped.

"Starscream? As in… _Starscream?_"

Optimus nodded. "Yes."

"...that Starscream?" the human mumbled.

"Yes, human, now shut up! How many Starscreams do you know?" Starscream snapped as he stood up from his hiding place.

"Wha—he's _here?_ Prime, care to explain why you're chatting with a loose Con? Shouldn't he be in a _cell?!_"

"Yes, shouldn't he?" Arcee asked as she crossed her arms.

Starscream looked down and saw a very small and very angry human in a suit stare up at him.

Ratchet cleared his intake. "Ah, Agent Fowler. Meet Starscream, he has defected—"

"I thought when you said that you brought Starscream in, he was _in_ a _cell. _Not strutting around your base!"

"He's not strutting around our base!" Bulkhead said.

"Well, then why is he _right there?_"

"He doesn't strut around the base, he just… kinda walks around the base?" Bulkhead stuttered.

"How is that any better?" Fowler scowled.

"Fowler, we must speak in private. Autobots..." Optimus began to say as he turned to look at all of them. _All _of them, including Starscream. "...I must speak to Agent Fowler alone."

Bumblebee suddenly grabbed ahold of Starscream's servo and pulled him into a side room with Bulkhead, Ratchet and Arcee. The five of them just sat there and watched the human's shadow and Prime's shadow argue on the wall.

They all looked at Starscream warily and their fields flowed around them tightly with a slight hitch. The raw doubt in their fields blared out into the air and made Starscream lock his armor up tight around him defensively.

"You're all acting as if I'm going to flip out and kill the fleshbag," Starscream sighed as he rolled his optics.

"We can tell you're thinking it," Bulkhead said.

"Starscream, once you're a Con, you're always a Con. You can't escape that cycle of violence," Arcee said.

"_He's only good for destruction! He's going to destroy something, Prime," _Fowler said from the main room.

"_He is helping us destroy the Decepticons," _Optimus's voice echoed. Even from the side-room he was in Starscream could still feel the determination in the Prime's field.

"_Pfft, he just wants to destroy Megatron. Prime, what in the world made you think it would be a good idea to adopt some crazy con as if he were some stray dog?"_

Starscream's armor clenched together and he resisted the urge to run out and yell at the human. Bumblebee's servo grabbed ahold of his shoulder and he pulled him close.

"_Stay here! Be here!" _he beeped in alarm.

Starscream could hear the frown in Optimus's voice. "_He is not a crazy stray dog, Fowler, although Megatron did treat him like one."_

"You deserved it," Arcee hissed. Starscream lunged forward and only Bulkhead's massive servos held him back.

"Arcee, don't rile him up even more," Bulkhead said as he pulled Starscream away from her.

"I'm not some _dog—_" Starscream snarled.

"_We very rarely get the opportunity to get intel straight from a former Decepticon. Few of them ever defect. Megatron keeps tight control over them. Thanks to Starscream, I know that other Decepticons might perhaps be spurred on to defect to us as well."_

"_Megatron isn't the kind of mech you can walk away from, Prime!"_

Starscream leaned back and let his helm hit the wall. No matter where he went, Megatron's shadow followed him.

"_He can be walked away from. It can be done."_

"_What, is this not the first time you've snatched some Con away from him?"_

"_I was once his brother. If I could escape him, then so could Starscream."_

Fowler was silent for several moments. "_If Megatron saw you as his brother once… then what did he see Starscream as? What role did Starscream play? Did he see him as another brother?"_

"_... He saw him as something to abuse."_

Starscream just offlined his optics and let out a deep vent. The Autobots just stared at him. Bumblebee moved over to him and Starscream flinched away.

"_Megatron failed to realize just how valuable Starscream truly is."_

"_He can't be that valuable, can he?"_ the human scoffed.

"_Yes, Fowler, he was the Decepticon's second-in-command."_

"_What if he's just using you all so that he can become their first-in-command?"_

"_No, Fowler. No. He is using me to better himself and I am using him to help win this war. I understand that this is a very risky situation and that he has personally harmed you—"_

"_How many people has he harmed? He killed your own soldiers, you're going to just look past that?"_

Arcee just stared at him, her optics bright and sharp. Bumblebee just warbled sadly.

"_I look past nothing. I have seen his crimes and I will still try to help him make up for them."_

"_Some things can't be undone."_

"_I can get him to stop committing crimes by ensuring that he does not have the opportunity to commit them in the first place. If he sees the error of his ways and he uses his intelligence to end this war by joining us, he will have the chance to help bring justice to all of the other criminals amongst the Decepticons."_

The human let out a deep and heavy sigh.

"_Do you really think he's going to follow you?" _the human sighed.

"_I do, Fowler. I do."_

The Autobots just watched the Seeker, their optics full of doubt. Starscream clenched his fists tighter. The cracks in his servo opened back up and began to drip out energon again.

"_He won't be able to let go of his crazy rage so easily—"_

"_He can let go. I know he can."_

"Can you really?" Arcee asked him. All three of the Autobots just stared at him.

Starscream shrank back into the wall. He clenched his fists even tighter and felt the tips of his talons cut into the mesh of his servo and draw more energon.

"_Prime… I've chosen to trust you. Don't make me regret that choice!"_

"_You will not regret this choice, Agent Fowler. I will make Starscream follow me. I will see to that."_

Starscream felt his spark pulse in his chestplates. He didn't know what he was feeling—if it was fear coiling in his chestplates or anticipation or even excitement. Optimus's words rang in his helm.

There was silence.

"_...Good. I'm reporting this to General Bryce, Prime. When the Con acts up…"_

"_He won't act up."_

"_When, and I mean _when—_because we know he _will _act up sooner or later—when he acts up, we need to know."_

"_I can assure you, Agent, that there is no need to be concerned. Starscream is genuinely trying to become an Autobot. So far he is doing...well."_

"_Prime, I just heard that hesitation in your voice just now! He's doing 'well'? What does 'well' mean?"_

Starscream leaned against the wall and dragged his servos down his faceplate. _Well. _That was a strange word. It implied being healthy and happy and those were two things Starscream hadn't been in a long time. Not in Iacon, not on all of Cybertron, not on the Nemesis...

But here in the base with the Autobots...

"_He is doing the best that he can, Fowler. He will follow me."_

He didn't understand why he felt compelled to follow after the Prime, or why the sight of him walking away from him made his spark ache, or why he felt only occasional fear around the Prime—

He felt well when he was around the Prime. The same couldn't be said for the other Autubots—

"_He will redeem himself," _Optimus continued.

—but he knew he had a friend in Optimus, at least.

The human sighed. "_Good. Now can you help me bust up those Cons ransacking Hawaii?"_

The main room lit up with a flash of green light as Ratchet activated the groundbridge. They all gave Starscream one last glance before they all came back into the main room and began to pass through the groundbridge. Arcee drove through and never looked back, Bulkhead shared a look with Prime before he drove through—and Bumblebee—

Bumblebee quietly spoke to Optimus in front of the bridge in hushed tones. Optimus glanced over at Starscream.

Starscream snorted. He could feel the human's tiny fleshy optics staring at him.

"Got a problem, fleshbag?"

The human crossed his arms. "I've got a Con problem. Don't think for a moment I'll forget what you did to me! None of us will forget what you've done."

Starscream sneered at him. "_Good. _Remember what I'm capable of, fleshbag."

"It is time to leave," Optimus said as he walked over to him. Ratchet reset the bridge and Optimus exchanged one last look with the human before he transformed and drove through the groundbridge. Starscream followed right behind.

* * *

"All right, what did you want to talk to me about?" Starscream sighed as he and Optimus walked into a forest.

"We are headed to find an old crashed ship. We have no idea how it got here, however, but we want to see if it has any supplies left. I also wanted to talk to you about..." Optimus trailed off and frowned.

"So, what did I do wrong this time?" Starscream sighed.

Optimus just looked at him in confusion.

Starscream rolled his optics. "Oh, don't be coy with me. That was Megatron's thing. He'd say nothing was wrong really, really softly, and then next thing I know I'm being thrown across the room and—"

He suddenly stopped speaking. He'd always tried so hard to control his words and never let out any information, and there he was just pouring himself out to the Prime. The woods felt colder all of a sudden and Optimus just stood there and stared at him.

"That. I wanted to talk to you about… that," Optimus finally said.

Starscream scoffed. "Throwing me across the room?"

Optimus just shook his helm. "No, I want to know why you joined Megatron."

Starscream stopped walking all of a sudden and just stared off into space. He should've known this question would come, why he joined the wrong side all those years ago. Starscream wasn't sure if he was ready to let the Autobots know.

"...Starscream?"

He himself wasn't even sure if _he_ even knew why he joined the Decepticons.

"Because the Autobots and the Council bombed Vos, Prime," Starscream said softly.

Optimus frowned. "There is more to it than that. All these years I have wondered what compelled mechs to join my broth—that is, my enemy. If I can understand why they joined him, I can understand how to get them all to defect."

"It won't be that easy," Starscream laughed bitterly.

"Why not?"

"Slag it, Prime!" Starscream snapped as he whirled around. "You can't save everybody, okay? You can't save the Decepticons or… or the Vosians, or _her—_"

—_he grunted as he hooked his arms around a large piece of rubble and threw it aside, revealing a Seeker buried in the dirt and debris down below—_

Starscream scowled and walked off farther into the woods. The sooner he got this stupid mission over with, the sooner he could get away from the Prime and his piercing questions.

The clouds shifted and something reflective shined in the woods. The light glinted off of the smooth silver hull of a crashed ship and shone upon the stern Autobot brand on the bottom of the smooth metal hull.

"Starscream?"

The ship was in a state of extreme disrepair. Rust covered its every surface, the inner frames were bared and rotten, and yet—

"No, no this can't possibly be it," Starscream mumbled as he stepped back. He'd so many Autobot ships, there was no way the ship before him could be _that _ship, that ship he'd seen soaring over Vos after blasting the city to smithereens. This couldn't be that ship, it _couldn't_—

Starscream ran up the hill and up to the hull. He cleared away years of vines and leaves and other organic junk to reveal the familiar silver hull. A large burn mark was seared into the side of the Autobot insignia.

Rage flared up in his spark. "I remember this ship."

Optimus's field hovered around him cautiously. He said nothing.

"I remember this ship, Prime," Starscream repeated as he turned around, his servos clenched into fists by his sides. He had reopened the cracks in his servo he got that morning and now energon was bleeding down his fists. "I remember it. It killed Vos."

Optimus was silent. "Do you want to leave?"

Starscream just stared at the rusted insignia. This ship was apart of the reason Vos was dead, apart of the reason he joined Megatron and went through the Pits, part of the reason she had died—

"_Stay here," _the dying Seeker had said. "_Be here."_

His wings lowered on his back. "I had a duty," Starscream said softly, so softly as he looked up at the massive hull that loomed over him. Rage flared in his spark. "I had a duty to destroy the ships and stop them from bombing Vos. I failed. I could not destroy this ship back then. But that doesn't mean I can't destroy it _now_."

Starscream whirled around suddenly and looked Optimus right in the optics. "Let me destroy this—this _montrosity,_" he hissed.

Optimus shook his helm and placed his servos atop Starscream's shoulders. "No, Starscream. Do you think ravaging this place will really help you?"

"Yes!"

"Do you really think that?"

"I have spent the last thousand years hating this ship, raging against it! And now I have an opportunity to rid the universe of it. Let me destroy it!"

Optimus looked up at the massive creaking hull. "Destroying is not creating—"

Starscream froze.

"We cannot build a better home—"

"Do _not _use my words against me!"

"If we keep destroying our home—"

"_Optimus—"_

"If you burn everything, then what's stopping you from burning up too?"

Starscream stepped back from the Prime. "How… how did you know what I said? Were you there? Were you there when Vos burned?"

"I heard you," Optimus said softly. "I heard you reliving the memory in your room. I debated waking you up."

Starscream groaned and dragged his servos down his faceplate. "I just... they're all blurring _together. _Sometimes… I still feel like I'm there at Vos, or there with Megatron."

"Destroying this ship will not lessen the pain of those memories. It will just make your memories hurt more. I don't want to see you burn up too."

Starscream sighed. "Oh, Optimus. You know I'm already burning up."

Optimus was silent. The ship just continued to sit there as it creaked and groaned in the breeze.

"Do you really want this?" he said after a moment. Starscream wasn't sure, but the Prime's field seemed heavier all of a sudden.

Starscream looked up at Optimus and his red optics blazed bright. "_Yes."_

"Let go, Starscream. Let _go._"

Starscream thought of a Seeker dying in the rubble. "_Stay here. Be here."_

"I can't! I need to destroy this wretched ship, I have to do this for _her._"

Optimus just stared at him as Starscream stood there while venting heavily. Starscream hadn't meant to say that. One moment he was just looking at the ship, and the next moment he was looking right at the dying Seeker's dimming spark.

Optimus did not ask who he was talking about. He let out a deep and heavy sigh. "All right. But be careful, Starscream. We will retrieve the energon and then dispose of these ruins."

Starscream's wings shot up in glee and he ran for the entrance.

"—But Starscream," Optimus began.

He groaned and turned around. "Yes, Prime?"

"Promise me you'll let go one day. Promise me."

Starscream frowned and his wings drooped on his back.

"_Stay here. Be here. Promise me," _the dying Seeker said.

"I…"

_You failed her, _Starscream thought. _Don't fail him._

"I promise," he said. He felt a sudden weight descend upon his spark as he said those two words.

Optimus nodded and walked up beside him. The two of them stared into the ship's depths.

"Then let's complete this mission," Optimus said, and they walked deep into the halls of the ship.

Soundwave watched from up high in the trees.

* * *

The dead ship was quiet. Too quiet.

"He never was able to let go, either," Optimus suddenly said.

Starscream frowned. "Uh, who?"

Optimus looked down at him. Grief pulsed in his field.

"Oh..._him._"

"Yes. _Him_. He remembered so much. Every slight against him, every battle won, every battle lost. He kept track of every secret crime the Council committed, every atrocity, every act of prejudice and oppression—all so that he could reveal the entirety of their crimes to all of Cybertron one day. I used to admire that."

Starscream shook his helm. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"It has to do with everything. I admired his ability to never let go, to _remember_. He always tried to look deep into the optics of every mech he harmed or killed—so that he could really see whether they regretted their actions or not as they died. Megatron felt that if you were going to be responsible for the end of a mech's life, the very least you could do was really look him in the optics so that you could see what he was feeling as he died. Back when he was a poor gladiator, Megatronus's ability to look bots in the optics and see what they truly felt was all that he really had. He was a good mech, Starscream. But one day…" Optimus frowned and trailed off. "One day, we were standing in a ruined city. The battle had been won, one of the few battles in which we were brothers on the same side. It was done and over with. But according to Megatronus, the battle had only just begun. He would not stop killing the towersmecha. He said that they deserved it for all the destruction they had caused. Megatron left behind ships of dead mechs. He even stopped bothering to look them in the optics as they died. He did not even spare them a single glance."

Starscream's wings fluttered nervously. It had been a long time since Megatron really looked him in the optics without scorn or derision.

"He said that the towersmecha were all murderers, so he killed them all… and after he finished killing a certain mech, we both realized he wasn't a towersmecha."

Starscream began to feel sick.

"I asked him why he killed that mech. He said that the towersmecha needed to be destroyed and that it didn't matter if a few innocents were caught in the carnage."

"That's…"

Starscream thought of a Seeker who died in the rubble. "_Be here. Stay here."_

Optimus watched Starscream carefully for his reaction before continuing. "He got so attached to burning them away that he burnt himself up as well. That was when he began to stop being my brother." Optimus finished. The Prime watched him very intently.

Starscream didn't even know what to say to that, or why he felt like had actually been on this ship before, or why in the world those words felt so alarming for some reason.

"That is awful. I'm sorry you had to… you had to see that." The ship creaked and groaned around them.

Optimus nodded and narrowed his optics at Starscream. He opened his intake to say something—

The air began to buzz.

Starscream turned around and saw a violet shadow flit past the door.

"Optimus?" Starscream said as dread filled his struts. "He's back."

Optimus leaped into action and transformed his servos into blasters as he scanned the dark halls. Starscream just stood there and sighed. He stared into the darkness and the darkness stared back.

"There's no point in this, Prime," Starscream said softly as his wings fell on his back. Any moment now Soundwave would slink out of the ship's internals, his violet visor pulsing and his cables all stretched out as they reached for him and grabbed him—

"Do not be so pessimistic. We can still avoid him."

"_You _can avoid him! You're not the one being hunted here." Starscream snapped as he whirled around. He felt a slight shift in the breeze. Soundwave was getting closer.

"If he is going to take you, then he must take me as well."

Starscream just sighed as Optimus went back to scanning. "Can you even take him in a fight?"

"I have defeated him before. He is a difficult opponent, but he is no Megatron."

The air shifted again. Soft pedesteps clinked behind them.

Soundwave was only heard if he wanted to be heard.

"Optimus," Starscream said. He could already feel Soundwave's ever calm and smooth field coldly brush up against his own. "Soundwave _is _Megatron! He's his shadow! If Soundwave is here, then Megatron is too."

"Right you are, traitor," Megatron's voice said.

Optimus and Starscream spun around. Starscream's talons unsheathed and Optimus charged up his blaster—

—And they looked out at nothing.

"How many times must I drag you back to justice before you learn your lesson, Starscream?" Megatron continued.

The ship creaked above them. Optimus and Starscream looked at each other before looking upwards. Soundwave was crouched in the ceiling rafters up above them, his cables coiled all around the pillars and supporting him as he hovered above their helms. A live image of Megatron's faceplate was on his visor.

"Megatron! If you want me back so badly, why can't you just come and get me in person?" Starscream shouted up at him. Optimus laid a heavy servo on his shoulder and held him back as he shook his fists up at Soundwave.

"I cannot come and retrieve you in person, Starscream. After all, I need to prepare the Nemesis for your arrival," Megatron's voice spoke through Soundwave.

"I will not allow that to happen, Megatron. And you know it," Optimus said

Megatron scoffed. His entire faceplate filled up Soundwave's visor. "You've let me snatch away so many of your soldiers before. Why is your new pet so special? What makes him better than Ironhide, Jazz, or Cliffjumper?"

Optimus clenched his servos. "I protect my own."

"You certainly do, Prime. You also protect murderers!" Megatron laughed.

"I was not the one who murdered all of Iacon."

Megatron stopped laughing for a moment. "You don't know, do you? I wasn't the person who dropped those bombs."

Starscream froze. _Oh, Primus, no—_

"—the person who dropped those bombs is standing right beside you."

"On your command," Optimus said.

There was a sadistic edge in Megatron's voice now. Even when he was not there in person his presence still smothered and controlled Starscream. Every word Megatron spoke made Starscream's armor lock up and his field freeze around him.

He stepped back and into Optimus's shadow, hardly caring at all that it looked as if he were cowering behind the Prime. He just wanted Soundwave to turn his awful gaze away from him and to not notice him at all.

"I see everything, Prime. I even see you there, Starscream," Megatron said.

Starscream froze behind Optimus. He peeked out past the Prime and saw Soundwave just stare at him, his visor blindingly bright.

"Once you stood behind me for protection, Starstarscream," Megatron said as Soundwave moved closer.

"Stay back, Soundwave," Optimus warned, a sharp edge in his voice as his battlemask snapped shut over his faceplate.

Soundwave just ignored him and walked right up to the two of them. Optimus shoved Starscream farther behind him and moved to block him, making his bright red armor obscure Soundwave's blinding gaze for just a split moment.

"Once you stood behind _me _for protection," Megatron's voice repeated slowly and smoothly. There was something off in his voice, something strange about his cold and low tone that made Starscream's spark whirl even faster. Soundwave ignored the hot blue blaster barrel pointed right at his chestplate and leaned to the side, slightly revealing the bright violet lines of his visor. His visor flared.

"It was wise of you to seek me out for protection in the past," Megatron's voice said. The sound of metal snapping echoed out from the other end of the transmission. "But it seems you have now traded me in for Prime. What a foolish move, Starscream."

"Megatron, begone! If you desire to confront me, come do so in person. But do not bring Starscream into this. He is now beyond your grasp," Optimus said as he pushed Soundwave away.

"Starscream is _always _in my grasp! He once used to seek _me _out for protection because he understood that _I_ was the only one who could protect him!"

"You are also the only one who he needs protection from."

Megatron hissed. "Stop wasting my time, Prime. Hand him over to me!"

"No."

"Then I will have to just come and pick him up in person by myself."

Optimus charged up his blaster. "And I will be there to stop you."

Soundwave moved backwards and stepped back into the shadows, his visor locked onto Starscream.

"Farewell, traitors," Megatron growled out. "I should tell Soundwave to just let him tear into you. I really should. I should just sit here and watch him lunge into action, watch him leap forward and drag the wretched Seeker back to me. All I have to do is give the command."

Soundwave's frame tensed up and his digits curled into fists by his sides.

"Such a simple command to give. Just a few words and Starscream will be mine."

Optimus moved to block Starscream again and he pointed his blaster right at Soundwave as the silent mech's visor flared—

His visor went down.

"But I don't want Starscream to be captured just yet. Not yet. When I come to claim him, I want to come in person. For now, I merely just wanted to check up on the two of you and see how you are all faring with your new… _Autobot. _If I cannot convince you to hand the wretch over to me right now, perhaps you will be convinced to hand him over to me a bit later. I have a plan to reveal the true depths of his evil to you, Prime. But that is for later. I desire to see just what Starscream traded me in for. How much have you beaten him?"

Optimus growled. "Not at all."

Megatron sighed. "You should, you really should. I was expecting better from you, Prime. How interesting it is to see what Starscream got in exchange for abandoning me. It didn't have to be this way, Prime, so now you have forced me to convince you to drop the Seeker in… other ways. Do you like being with the Prime, Starscream?"

Starscream's wings shot up on his back. "He's shown me more kindness in the course of a single day than you have shown me in a thousand years!" The words just fell right out of his intake.

Optimus turned to look at him, surprise in his field. Shock blared up in Starscream's own field as well. He wasn't sure where those sudden words came from… but they were true. Every single word he spoke was true. And for once in his life, it felt _good _to be honest.

Megatron roared on the other end of the transmission. The sound of rending and screeching metal tore through the commlink and exploded out of Soundwave's visor. Starscream recognized that odd noise—it was the sound of him hacking a computer console to bits with his sword. He was so used to trying to dodge Megatron's wrathful sword that he never stopped to consider whether he should even be dodging his sword in the first place. He never questioned his bouts of rage, never thought to himself that his violent wrath wasn't right—he just accepted it. It was the way of things.

Not anymore.

"You need to leave," Starscream said as his wings rose up high on his back.

Soundwave just stared at him. Megatron sharply inhaled on the other end of the commlink. For a split moment Starscream thought he'd devolve into another temper tantrum, another angry tirade.

"Well then," Megatron said calmly and patiently. Starscream knew the patience was a lie. "Till' we meet again, traitor. And I can assure you, Starscream… your day of reckoning is very, _very _near."

"And I will be there for him," Optimus said as he moved to stand beside Starscream.

Megatron growled. "Oh, so you're there for him now, Prime? You were never there for _me!_"

For a few seconds there was just silence. Megatron breathed heavily on the other end as if shocked by his own words.

"Until next time," Megatron finally finished. Optimus and Starscream watched a groundbridge open up and Soundwave step through it, his visor locked onto them and watching them all the while. As he stepped through the glow of the bridge his visor flared brilliantly bright for just a single moment before he vanished through the bridge. The bridge disappeared and left nothing behind but disturbed dirt and Megatron's empty promises.

* * *

"What kind of game is this, Soundwave? I want results, not theatrics!" Megatron stood tall on the bridge and stared down at Soundwave. Lesser mechs would've cowered before him. Soundwave was no lesser mech.

Soundwave loaded up footage of Starscream walking through the ship's halls onto the visor. Except this footage wasn't recent—it was old, very old. It was security footage of Starscream visiting the ship long, long ago before it was a ruin.

Megatron hummed and tapped his talons against the computer console. "So the wretch has been to this ship before, then? When it was still airborne?"

Soundwave gave an imperceptible nod and let the footage play out. Megatron watched his visor intently, his optics bright red as his field writhed around him like some wild beast. Soundwave kept on playing the footage of Starscream aboard the ship and Megatron kept on getting happier and happier.

Megatron's optics widened. "Oh, I remember that ship… you have outdone yourself with executing my plan, Soundwave." Megatron laughed. "So he has no idea where he is, then? Does he not know that he has been to that ship before? Has he forgotten the carnage he unleashed there?"

Soundwave nodded. Starscream had burst aboard so many ships and killed so many Autobots on them he must have forgotten to tell them all apart. But Soundwave could tell them apart.

Megatron's field expanded in glee and hot prickling static washed over Soundwave like a wave. "He and his _precious _Prime are headed right to the heart of the ship and neither of them knows of the horrors that await them there—not even the one who _created _those horrors. Very well then, Soundwave. I need some amusement every once in a while. Let's watch this show play out."

Soundwave ended the footage and began to livestream the security footage of the ship straight to his visor. Megatron leaned in, his optics bright red as his field thrashed around him wildly with mad glee. He watched Starscream and the Prime continue to walk obliviously into the depths, and he smiled.

* * *

Starscream just stared at where Soundwave had once stood, his spark burning in his chestplates. In that moment Starscream felt a small moment of victory. It was a brief and fleeting feeling of accomplishment. Megatron would come sooner or later and then the terror would return. The terror eventually _always _returned—but in that moment Starscream was just calm. He stood there and just stared out into the night, his frame shaking slightly.

"That bastard didn't even have the guts to actually look me in the optics in person when he confronted me..." he snarled out.

For a moment there was just silence. Optimus's gentle field washed over his frazzled and staticky one until all Starscream could feel was the weight of the Prime's field over his.

"...Were you telling the truth?" Optimus said.

Starscream blinked and frowned. "Of course I was! The fragger needed to leave, so I just said so."

"No, I meant _before_, when you said that I have shown more kindness to you than he has in a thousand years."

Starscream's armor locked up around him. His spark was beginning to just calm down and the sheer energy of their encounter was already beginning to fade away. The confession had just burst right out of him, raw with pain.

"...Well…" Starscream mumbled as he looked anywhere but at Optimus. Shame rose up in his field, hot and suffocating. He'd spoken the truth, yes, but being honest made him feel bare and vulnerable. The temptation to just lie rose up in him suddenly. He could get rid of the raw emotion being honest brought him, he could just lie and dismiss his earlier words—

Optimus just looked into his optics, his field patient.

He was patient.

_Patient. _

Megatron had never been patient with him.

"...Yes, I spoke the truth," Starscream finally said.

Optimus just nodded. Starscream wasn't sure, but for a split moment he swore he felt a faint tingle of pride in the Prime's field.

"What? Does that surprise you? I can be honest when I want to be! It's easy to lie to him when I can't even see his optics." Starscream snapped. He could still feel the air buzz around them and could still hear Megatron's deep growl vibrate through his helm.

"It surprises me that you are being honest to not only him, but to yourself."

Starscream turned away from the Prime and stared hard at the wall. He didn't know what spurred on this sudden burst of honesty. Maybe it was something in Megatron's voice or something about the way Optimus looked at Starscream without any derision or scorn at all—

He shut his intake and looked away.

"Is that how you got through all of the abuse? By lying to both him and yourself?" Optimus said. His field fell heavily around them and wrenched with a strange emotion Starscream hadn't felt a mech feel for him in a long time.

"Do not pity me, Prime. I looked him in the optics and lied to him, but I didn't lie to myself! That's ridiculous," he scoffed.

Optimus's optics softened. "Is that what you tell yourself?""

"You—!"

The ship suddenly creaked all around them. They both looked up in alarm and listened to the entire old ruin creak and screech and groan all around them both.

"Optimus… that isn't the sound of the ship settling, is it?"

A metal door suddenly slid down from the ceiling and divided Optimus and Starscream from the exit. The dead ship's emergency lights lit up with a bright flickering flash and cast everything into harsh bright white and deep shadows.

Optimus let out a heavy and deep sigh as his field suddenly tensed around him. "This was a trap."

Starscream offlined his optics and tried to ignore the panic rising up in his throat. "Yes."

The Prime's optics hardened and he looked off into shadows of the hallway ahead of them. The sound of marching pedes echoed loudly into the confined metal hall. Soon all Starscream could hear was the sound of the approaching drones and the sound of his energon as it began to pump harder in his cabling.

"They're coming right this way," Starscream said. He could hear the drones as they came closer and closer. The entire ship shook and creaked and groaned as the sheer force of their marching pedes rattles the old structure down to its core. The sound of a hundred approaching drones had once comforted him—-they were terrible fighters, yes, but he never had to worry about them shooting him before.

He heard their blasters charge up.

Now he was going to have to fight them without any means to fire back—

"I will fire back for you," Optimus said as resigned acceptance flooded his field..

The lights of the hallway flickered as the entire ceiling creaked. Starscream dropped his helm into his servos and let out a frustrated growl.

"I said all of that out loud, didn't I?!"

"You did," Optimus said as he transformed one of his arms into a blaster and pointed it right into the darkness. "But even if you had not said that out loud, I still would have understood that you were scared."

"How… how could you tell?" Starscream sputtered. He'd always tried to hard to hide his fear and anxiety, tried so hard for so many years to push the desperation down—yet Optimus saw right through it all.

"Because unlike Megatron, I chose to be patient with you and I waited for you to reveal your true feelings."

"What… how? I barely did anything!"

Optimus frowned. "Sometimes, Megatron saw how miserable you really felt. He just chose to ignore you as he harmed you. He never really truly cared."

"Oh, really?" Starscream said as he tried to ignore the sound of the drones as they came even closer. "And how could you tell I was… a bit _nervous_ by 'just looking' at me?"

Optimus's field softened. "By looking at your optics. His arrogance and ignorance blinds him to his own cruelty. But I refuse to be blinded."

Starscream just stood there and blinked. The drones were even closer now. Somehow, the Prime had managed to see right through him and down to his spark—_again. _For the first time in a long time Starscream finally knew what it was like to have a mech beside him who actually understood him, who could just look at him and just _know _what he was feeling—

The drones grew closer and closer.

—And Starscream was probably about to lose that mech.

Starscream grit his dentae and got into a fighting stance as he took cover behind Optimus, _and how long it had been since there was somebody who was killing to cover him?_ The Prime looked at him from over his shoulder, and yet again they needed no words.

"I always had to face them alone," Starscream said as the drones finally turned around the corner.

Optimus's battlemask snapped shut. "Not anymore."


	8. The Sin

"Look at them, Soundwave. Look at the way they stand beside each other, talk to one another, support one another—"

Soundwave watched as Megatron suddenly transformed his servo into his blade and cleaved it into the center of the computer console. It tore apart with a metal screech and jagged fragments of glass flew out into the air in a sharp cloud of rage. They sliced past Megatron's frame and left behind hundreds of tiny white scratches all across his chestplate. Megatron didn't seem to care. He only turned around and went back to staring at the security footage from the ship.

This wouldn't do at all. Megatron could not possibly lead the Decepticons in an effective way if he was completely obsessed with the two traitors. Soundwave had long thought that the aching wound that Orion's betrayal had left behind within Megatron had healed.

"They're brothers, do you see that? _Brothers!_" Megatron hissed.

Soundwave was wrong.

He wondered for a moment what was going through the Seeker's helm. Was he proud for so cleverly manipulating the Autobots into accepting him into their fold? Or was he still an anxious little creature, all hunched over himself and jumping at every shadow?

Starscream walked beside Optimus, anxiously, yes, but at the same time…

Soundwave frowned. That couldn't be right. The Seeker was a frightful creature, there was no way he could possibly feel calm and safe beside the hulking Prime.

Yet that was exactly what it looked like. Soundwave saw it, and Megatron did too.

"Soundwave, I have no time nor patience for Starscream and Optimus's new… _friendship,_" he hissed out. "Starscream should never stand that tall. He should be beside me, with me, serving me—"

His optics lit up a brighter shade of red and his field suddenly expanded in a storm of static. Megatron slowly turned around as a sharp grin crossed his faceplate.

"Oh, Soundwave. The only reason the traitor is so confident is because he's so self-assured that he has everything under control. Return to the ship and make it clear to my rogue second just who precisely is in charge here."

Soundwave gave a single nod and activated the groundbridge.

"And Soundwave?"

He turned around. Megatron had that feral look again, yet there was something even more cruel hidden in his optics this time.

"Make sure to play the footage of him killing Cliffjumper. It will surely kill Starscream as well. And when the Prime sees the footage, when sees just how despicably and cruelly he ended the life of the soldier he saw as a son… well… there might not even _be_ a Starscream left behind for you and I to reclaim, now will there be, Soundwave?"

He gave a single nod before he silently slipped into the whirling green light of the bridge. The Prime would not deactivate the Seeker, no, but Soundwave was also uncertain as to whether he'd really hand Starscream back over to Megatron.

It would be fun to test the Prime's limits.

* * *

Optimus just stood there. Smoke curled out from his hot blue blaster and his entire frame shook slightly as he took deep vents to get his frame to calm down. The corpses of energon covered drones were scattered all though the hall.

Starscream said nothing. The silence seemed to stretch on for a thousand years as he waited for the Prime to finish calming down.

He clenched his talons into fists and wished, not for the first time, that his blasters had not been disabled. If he still had his weapons, he could still fight, he could still somehow protect Optimus in return.

He frowned. It had been a long time since he'd felt an urge to protect another mech. The last bot he had felt that kind of emotion for was...

"We took a right, yes?" Starscream said as he shook his helm. He wouldn't think about his old relationship with Megatron. He _couldn't._

"We have taken three rights already. Starscream… we are rather lost."

Starscream scowled at the shadows of the halls. The walls were uncomfortably close and just barely large enough to fit a Seeker and a convoy at the same time. The dark shadows of the rotten rafters above their helms stretched endlesssly above them and only Primus knew what was hidden up in them.

He yelped and jumped back as a servo landed on his shoulder.

"It is just me, I am no enemy," Optimus said.

Starscream shook his helm and groaned. "What—? No, you need to stop!"

Optimus frowned. "Stop what?""

"What's with… this? All of this encouragement and warm touches and…? You want something, don't you?"

"You do not understand why I'm being kind to you," Optimus said. It wasn't a question, just a statement. His field pulsed with sadness.

"You're the one bleeding here, so why are you trying to comfort _me_?" Starscream shrieked.

A thin stream of energon trickled down from where a blaster bolt had struck Optimus's plating. Starscream tried to wrench the red plating back into place, but it only kept bleeding.

He didn't understand all of this sudden kindness and compassion and… everything. There had to be a price, there had to be. Nothing ever came free during this mad and endless war. Megatron had taken him, taught him, helped him avenge Vos—all for a price. Starscream still wasn't entirely sure just what that price was, but he had paid it ten times over. He'd given everything to Megatron, he'd given and given and given—

And now Prime wanted something from him. And Starscream had nothing left to give.

"I choose to be kind to you in the hopes that one day, you'll be kinder to yourself."

Starscream just stared. "I don't understand," he said softly. "I think I'm going insane… more insane than I already am, at least. You Autobots… you just make no sense—"

"It makes sense to treat your soldiers with respect. It makes sense to care for their wellbeing and look after them. Megatron knows this, knows the sense behind it—yet continuously abuses them. He abuses you above all others, all because the abuse makes sense to _him_."

Starscream let out a deep vent and leaned heavily on the rusted wall. The dark abandoned halls of the crashed ship stretched on away from them and the harsh red glow of the emergency lights and his optics lit everything in a blood-red glow. Optimus's optics still shone bright blue amidst the darkness, though. It never took too long for Starscream to find the Prime. Optimus was always with him. Always.

To think that maybe Optimus chose to spend time with him not because he wanted something from him, but just because he simply desired to be with him—

Starscream groaned and rubbed his helm as a processor-ache came on.

"W-well… if you don't want anything from me… then what does _Megatron_ want from me?"

"HE WANTS YOU BACK."

Their helms shot to the side and they both scanned the darkness. The harsh mechanical voice had suddenly boomed out of the shadows and then stopped speaking just as soon as it began. The air began to buzz, Starscream's HUD glitched, and a violet glow appeared at the end of the hall.

Optimus swiftly rose his pedes and transformed his arm into a blaster before he pointed it into the darkness. The ship moaned all around them and the sound of one thousand year old metal creaked above their helms.

Optimus's optics widened and his field suddenly went hard and cold.

Starscream didn't move, didn't say a thing as Optimus just continued to stare out into the darkness.

"Starscream… I do not think that Soundwave is in this hallway."

"Well, then why—?"

"He is above us."

Starscream froze. He slowly looked upwards and into the dark rafters above.

A violet light flashed from up within the shadows of the rafters. The sound of approaching drones boomed throughout the hall.

"Starscream, he is here—"

The air began to buzz.

"—he is right up above me—"

Optimus grabbed ahold of Starscream's torso and held him there tightly.

"—which is why it is _crucial_ to me that you understand that I am going to do this—"

Soundwave let his cables loose and let them swing down into the air as they began to flash with bright purple light.

"—which is why you must understand I am doing this to _save you_—"

Suddenly, Starscream found himself being thrown into the air. He tumbled through the hall and slid to a grinding halt all the way on the other end of the corridor with a screech and a bang. A whole contingent of drones came marching out of a side hall beside Optimus and he immediately set to work slicing through them. Starscream just sat there on the floor, his jaw dropped as he watched the fight rage on without him.

"Optimus, did you just throw me?!" Starscream screeched as he rose to his pedes. He opened his intake and prepared to yell at the Prime—

Chunks of jagged metal fell from the ceiling and struck the ground. Starscream narrowly dodged each one as the whole ship began to collapse. For a brief moment Starscream saw Optimus stop to stare at him as the Prime killed the drones, his blue optics wide as he stared at Starscream.

Starscream jumped back and just barely avoided having his helm caved in by a steel beam. He opened his intake to say that he was fine, when he froze. Optimus still fought the drones and his sword flashed and blaster fired as he tore through them, but something else seemed to worry him. He shoved a drone away and looked back at Starscream again right as he opened his intake to say something.

No, he wasn't looking at Starscream. He was looking at something past him.

Starscream turned around. Soundwave stood behind him and his outstretched cables flashed with bright violet light.

Shock filled Starscream's field. He hadn't even heard him come, he hadn't even seen Soundwave appear amongst the falling debris. The ceiling creaked and groaned precariously and Starscream scrambled backward away from Soundwave just as the ceiling above him snapped. A piece of metal struck his helm and sent a sharp lance of pain right through his processor. Error messages flashed onto his HUD, his optics flickered, Soundwave's visor pulsed with light, and Starscream blacked out.

* * *

_They had found him. They always found him. But they could not always capture him._

_Hot acidic rain poured down from the starry skies of Cybertron and cascaded down Starscream's frame. The blue paint that had been smattered over his frame in order to disguise him peeled away under the onslaught of the acid and sluiced down into the street below._

_Several engines thrummed and the sharp clacking noises of bots transforming echoed into the alleyway._

_"Slag," Starscream shook out. He wasn't sure how the Enforcers had managed to find him this time—but that didn't matter at the moment. They had found him, they had shot him, and now they were going to take him, and he could not allow that to happen. He'd already lost Skyfire to the council's machinations, he could not afford to lose himself to the Council as well. Energon dripped down from the sparking blastermark scorch on his wing._

_Someone laughed. "Oh, if only you had joined me."_

_He whirled around. Megatron stood in the shadows and watched him with his blood-red optics._

_Starscream instinctively stepped back and froze. His helm whipped around and scanned the alleyway as the sounds of the approaching Enforcers grew closer and closer._

_A sharp talon suddenly closed around his shoulder. Starscream yelped and tried to pull himself away as Megatron dragged him forward until their chestplates were inches apart._

_"You know, you could have avoided all of this if you had just joined me, little Seeker."_

_Starscream snarled. "I—"_

_Megatron laughed. "See, I know how you work, Starcream. You're going to list off all of the reasons why you shouldn't join me and why I should just leave you alone, hmm? Well, I can assure you, Starscream, that there is a very good reason you should join me standing in the alleyway right there."_

_Megatron leaned in and spoke right into Starscream's audial. The bright searchlight of an Enforcer suddenly shone upon them and blinded Starscream._

_"If you tell me to leave you alone, oh, I'll leave you alone. But I can assure you that they won't leave you alone."_

_The Enforcers closed and in their visors gleamed in the light as they blocked off the entrance to the alleyway. _

_"Seeker," the leader said. He spat the word out like it was poison. "You are coming with us." _

_Starscream winced as his burnt wing twitched and blew out more sparks. The Enforcers were lacking in kindness, but they had good aim. Very good aim. He looked closer and squinted at them. This wasn't the same group who had been hunting him down recently and who had shot him—this was a different group of Enforcers he had not yet encountered. They had done nothing to hurt him. _

_"You need somebody beside you who knows how you work," Megatron whispered as the Enforcer's blasters whirred up to full-charge. _

_Starscream blinked acid out of his optics. "I—" _

_"Resistance is pointless. You will be arrested," the head Enforcer monotoned. _

_Starscream pulled himself away from Megatron and stumbled away from the gladiator. He turned around to face the Enforcers and he snarled. _

_"I don't think so, grounder-pounders! I'm a scientist! I've done nothing wrong, I just create scrap! I'm staying right here," Starscream hissed as he stood tall and as acid poured over him. _

_"You are a warframe. You are only good for destruction." The Enforcer tilted his helm as if Starscream's claim that he was a scientist was interesting to him."You are wanted by the Council." _

_"Well, I don't want them." _

_They pointed their blasters right at him. Trapped in alleyway, surrounded by Enforcers, a walord's optics on him, flightless—he'd been through worse before. But he was tired of this. Tired of having to pack up and move to a new city all the time, the Council hot on his trail, assuming a new paint job and a new name everywhere he went. But most of all he was tired of Skyfire not being beside him. Soon he'd return to that icy backwater planet and save his friend. Soon. In the meantime, he had company to deal with. _

_He glanced to the side and up into the tall buildings that towered over him. His wing was busted, but he could still rely on his talons. It wouldn't be hard—a single burst of speed, a single jump, and then he could be clinging onto the side of the nearby building as he climbed up it to freedom. They could shoot at him, but their shots wouldn't hit him. Starscream could ensure that. He was a fast climber. _

_But on the other hand... _

_Megatron watched him, an amused glint in his optics. _

_The head Enforcer moved forward, his faceplate expressionless. They never showed any true emotions, they were just faceless mechs. For a single moment Starscream considered if they had faceplates under their masks—if they were just as tired as he was. _

_"Why sit here in the rubble and let our anger consume us when we can instead use our anger?" Megatron said. The Enforcers closed in on them and their engines began to rumble louder as they neared Starscream. _

_He had to stay away from Megatron, he had to. He was dangerous, his trinemates said so… yet the gladiator was right. _

_The Enforcer charged up his blaster. _

_Why should he just sit here and await death when he could deal out death instead? A small voice in the back of his helm that sounded suspiciously like Skyfire disagreed. This was a different group of Enforcers from the ones that had hunted him down before. They hadn't hurt him, he could escape, he didn't have to hurt them— _

_"You are coming with us," the grounder said. _

_For a split moment Starscream smelled ash. _

_"Under the name of Sentinel Prime—" _

_He could scale the walls and flee, he was a good climber. He knew he could do it. And yet— _

_"You have been accused of murder—" _

_He could flee. He could. But he could also do something else— _

_"They say you are only good for destruction," Megatron said. "Why sit here in the rubble and let our anger consume us when we can instead use our anger?" he repeated. Starscream's optic twitched. _

_The Enforcer pointed his blaster right at Starscream's chestplates. _

_He could flee and escape to a new city. But then the Enforcers would find him again, and then they'd drag him kicking and screaming to the Council one day. He couldn't avoid them forever. _

_The Enforcer charged up his blaster and his visor reflected the bright deadly light. _

_Skyfire was still buried under a hundred tons of ice. Because of the Council. Because of the Council and the Enforcers. _

_"Choose, Starscream. Your rage is a weapon. Wield it. They say you are only good for destruction—" _

_Megatron leaned in again and whispered into Starscream's audial. _

_"—So prove them _right_."_

_Starscream took one last look at the nearby building and a quick and easy escape. He looked away and right at the Enforcers as he unsheathed his talons. _

_Starscream made his choice. He lunged. _

_The head grounder went down with a crash as Starscream dug his talons underneath the thick metal sheets of his armor and pulled. The other Enforcers grabbed him with their servos and tried to wrench him off of their leader as a hint of panic entered their voices. _

_Starscream held on tight. He hooked his claws deeper into the mesh of the Enforcer pinned beneath him and felt warm energon flood his talons. _

_He felt it. For a single moment the Enforcer's hidden field lashed out around him, hissing and roiling with static and some emotion— _

_Fear. _

_Starscream froze. The grounder was scared of him. _

_They took advantage of his brief lapse of focus and wrenched him off of their leader. Starscream hissed and kicked and clawed the Enforcers as Megatron silently watched him under the onslaught of the acid rain. _

_Starscream leaped free of them and ran off into the night as the hot acid poured down his frame and stripped his paint away, his energon mixing with the acidic rain in the street gutters as he ran along. _

_There was something off about their confrontation—a hint of fear there that didn't come from Starscream, but from the Enforcer he had been attacking. Starscream shook his helm. He didn't have enough time to consider why that twinge of fear felt important, or why it made his spark freeze up in his chestplates. _

_Starscream kicked them away and quickly scaled the side of an acid-drenched building. The high spires of Iacon gleamed all around him and the air shook and rumbled as another bot flew up into the air beside him. Megatron glided through the air and his massive frame hovered right beside Starscream as the Seeker hurriedly climbed the building. _

_"You didn't need me to kill them myself, now did you?" Megatron laughed. His laughter made a deep sense of unease settle upon Starscream's spark… and yet the warlord was right. Starscream's servos were covered in the energon of those who had wronged him. Justice hadn't been served yet—the other Enforcers would still pursue him. But by just using his rage, Starscream was able to get rid of one, and that in itself was a small victory. _

_"Your rage is your weapon, Starscream!" Megatron shouted as he flew over Starscream and his shadow fell across him. "And you need me to help you wield it!" _

_Megatron flew off and Starscream watched the bright violet glow of his thrusters vanish into the night. A strange sense of wonder, fear and exhilaration—but most importantly, pride coiled around Starscream's spark. He hadn't felt pride in a very long time. _

_Vos had not been avenged. Not yet. But in the meantime, he would rid the world of the Enforcers. Maybe he'd even join the warlord. No, he wouldn't let them hunt him down again. No, next time, he would hunt _them _down. _

* * *

Starscream jolted awake. Optimus was nowhere to be seen, there were rocks and pieces of bent metal everywhere, and he was completely alone.

"Slag," Starscream swore as he stood up. He grimaced as he clambered over the fallen frame of a drone who had been crushed by the debris.

The air buzzed and the entire ship glowed with a strange violet light. The mezzanine he was standing on was twisted and bent out of recognition and he wasn't anywhere closer to the exit. If anything, he was even deeper in the ship.

"Optimus?" Starscream's voice echoed out into the depths. The air began to buzz even more. A sudden feeling of unease had only a fraction of a section to work its way through his frame before suddenly the ground gave out beneath him.

Starscream slid towards the abyss beneath him and his pedes made sparks fly as his frame slid down the metal slope of the mezzanine towards the darkness below—

An arm suddenly wrapped around Starscream's midsection and pulled him away from the edge. He yelped and scrambled back from the dark ledge ahead of him as whoever rescued him pulled him away from the darkness.

He just sat there as his frame shook and as his vents breathed heavily. Starscream would have been fine had he fallen—he would've been able to transform and fly to safety. Despite that, Starscream still felt a sense of dread as he looked over the edge into the abyss. There was something there in the shadows below that made his spark freeze and his frame tense up. Whatever was waiting for him down there was not pleasant.

"About time you caught me! You sure took a while," Starscream grumbled to Optimus as he grabbed ahold of the arm around his midsection and tried to pull it away.

The arm wouldn't budge. Now that he noticed it, Optimus's arm was unusually thin. Starscream normally felt the Prime's massive field hover around him, but all he felt was nothing. The only thing he could sense was his own sharp and staticky anxiety-ridden field.

"Optimus?" Starscream said. He tried to wrap his servo around the arm that was restraining him and pull it away—

The arm tightened. Whoever had their arm around him tightened their servo and dug the tips of their knifelike digits into the seams between Starscream's armor. Starscream's jaw dropped as he felt energon prickle up from whoever was digging their servo into him.

"Frag off!" Starscream shouted as he slammed himself backward, throwing him and his captor's frame hard into the wall. The mech restraining him only tightened their arm around him in response.

Starscream writhed and kicked as he tried to catch a glimpse of the dark mech restraining him—

The air began to buzz.

"STARSCREAM," a voice recording said.

Starscream felt his breath leave him all at once. Soundwave tightened his grasp around him.

"Two days left, Starscream," a recording of Megatron's voice said. Soundwave tightened his arm even more and Starscream felt a hot slice of pain shoot through him as something deep within his internals snapped.

Soundwave's arm tightened and tightened and tightened around Starscream as he flared his wings and struggled to break free. Static laced his vision, his optics flickered, his entire frame creaked and groaned as the sharp plating of Soundwave's thin—but strong, so so strong—arm began to cut into his midsection and draw even more blood—

"Soundwave," Starscream hissed out breathlessly. He reached back with his servos and tried to claw Soundwave. Two cables wrapped around his servos and immobilized them.

—bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—

"STARSCREAM," a recording of Megatron's voice said. Each syllable bursted with raw anger as it boomed out into the dark halls.

"S-soundwave, I would perhaps appreciate it—" Starscream began to say as Soundwave tightened his arm again. "—if you would let me go now?!"

The metal door banged. Somebody was trying to get into the room.

The sharp plates of metal that covered Soundwave's arm began to dig into Starscream's mesh and draw thin droplets of energon from his frame. Soundwave's helm leaned in and he could feel the cold smooth surface of his blank visor graze the back of his helm.

"You will never be able to let go of me, Starscream, and I will never let go of you—" a recording of Megatron's voice said.

More energon dripped down from his abdomen. "Soundwave, please, don't you remember all the years we spent serving together as a-allies?! Just stop this madness, just stop it!"

The door banged again. Starscream prayed that it was Optimus out there trying to pry his way in.

Soundwave tilted his helm as if he was considering him. "I REMEMBER HOW..." he said.

Starscream's slumped in relief. The arm around his midsection loosened—

"You went over to their side," a recording of Knock Out's voice said.

Starscream froze.

Soundwave's arm tightened harshly again, and this time it dug into his frame so much it made all of Starstarscream's breath leave him at once.

"You're an Autobot now, whether you call yourself one or not," a recording of Breakdown growled.

"You want to bring me back to the Nemesis?! T-then get it over with! Why are you waiting, why are you just stalking me instead?" Starscream shouted.

"Starscream?" Optimus shouted through the door. It banged again and a large dent formed in it as Optimus beat upon it from the outside.

Soundwave looked down at Starscream and his visor blazed violet.

"NOT HERE—TO CAPTURE."

Starscream blinked. "Then why—?"

"HERE TO—reveal the truth to them," the recording of Megatron's voice said.

Starscream blinked sluggishly as more droplets of energon cascaded down from his midsection. "To reveal what truth to... who?"

"THE AUTOBOTS."

Soundwave burst into action. He let go of Starscream and wrapped his cables around his entire frame before he then dragged Starscream down the dark halls and into the shadows.

"Starscream!" Optimus's muffled voice shouted from outside the door.

Starscream opened his intake to respond before his faceplate was slammed hard into the ground as Soundwave bodily dragged him into the ship's depths.

"NOT—YET. YOU MUST SEE."

"See what?!"

Soundwave hoisted Starscream in front of him. The Seeker blinked and tried to get ahold of his bearings as he looked up in front of him at two massive metal doors that had the Autobot badge blazed upon them.

Starscream's spark sank. He'd been here before. He'd been down this ship, through these doors in the past so many years ago.

"YOU MUST SEE," Soundwave robotically repeated. He kicked the doors open with his pede and dragged Starscream into the darkened command deck of the ship.

He slammed one of his cables into a computer console and the emergency lights all came on at once and flooded the room with blood-red light. Starscream's jaw dropped.

The deactivated frames of Enforcers were scattered all across the room. Familiar slash marks littered their frames.

"Do you know what happened after you killed them all, Starscream?" a recording of Megatron's voice began to say. "I had Soundwave hack into this ship and commandeer the autopilot before then sending it through a spacebridge to the battle above Earth."

Soundwave's cables wrenched Starscream up and onto his pedes. Even after a thousand years, all of the destruction was still there. All of the results of his revenge were scattered across the entire bridge. Starscream had wanted revenge on the Enforcers who had hunted him down and confronted him, and Starscream got exactly what he wanted.

"I had hoped the arrival of a ship full of slaughtered mechs would crash into one of the other Autobot ships and bring one of them crashing down with it. Unfortunately, this commandeered vessel missed and ended up just crashing onto this wretched world instead, where it waited to be of use again."

It was still there. The frames of the Enforcers, the scorch marks his own blaster had left behind on the walls—all of the evidence of Starscream's crimes were still there after a thousand years.

"Oh, but the time has come for this ship to be useful again, Starscream! All of the horrors you left behind are still here." Soundwave leaned in to Starscream's audials and played the voice recording of Megatron so loudly that Starscream felt as if the warlord was there beside him. "Imagine how shocked and horrified the Autobots will be when they see the evidence of just how brutal you are."

The computer consoles lit up and one thousand year-old footage of Starscream slaughtering the Enforcers played out on the screen. Starscream kicked his pedes and scrambled to get away, but Soundwave cables just lashed out and wrapped ahold of him and forced his helm upward to look at the footage of his crimes.

"The Autobots already know I've done bad things," Starscream scoffed. "They won't learn anything new by seeing any of this!"

Soundwave tilted his helm. His visor lit up and a picture of Starscream standing over Cliffjumper with his talons embedded in his chestplates flashed onto his visor.

"They'll learn how you killed Cliffjumper. How much he suffered as he died..." Megatron's voice said.

Starscream froze. "Soundwave… that isn't a recording of Megatron's voice... is it?"

Soundwave slowly shook his helm.

"No, Starscream," Megatron's voice said. "My voice is coming from no mere recording. I'm here, Starscream. I am always with you. Always."

"What is this?! Some new method of torture?"

"Of a sort. You brought this all upon yourself, Starscream."

Soundwave's cables loosened and Starscream darted away from him and ran to the door. It was locked shut.

"Primus," Starscream moaned. "Why can't you just pick me up and take me back to the Nemesis? What's with this whole elaborate plan?!"

Soundwave's visor flared and Megatron growled on the other end of the transmission. "And why would I do that when I could just let the Autobots drop you off like a sack of potatoes instead? Or perhaps, I could just wait for you to flee from them and return to me yourself?"

Starscream laughed bitterly. "Oh, of course, of course, this is just your latest method to get me back!" he choked out.

"This is merely the beginning, Starscream. You can either wait for the Autobots to rip you to shreds once they discover just how brutally you killed their teammate—or you can return to me yourself and receive a less painful beating. Choose. You still have two days left."

Starscream snarled at Soundwave and kicked at the door as he desperately tried to escape the dead frames and Soundwave's blank visor and the footage, Primus, all of the footage playing upon all the walls of all his crimes—

"I'm not going with you!" Starscream yelled out as he shoved his bleeding talons into the seam between the doors and wrenched them open with a terrible screech.

"Two days, Starscream. Two days!" Megatron's voice boomed.

Starscream ran through the gap in the door that he had created and bolted down the hallway. The old audio of him killing the Enforcers blared through the gap in the door and echoed after him as he ran away.

He ran out, away from the corpses and the recordings and the memories until soon the command deck door was just a distant speck at the end of the hallway.

He found himself back in the main room. The door was completely torn open as if a large frame had pushed its way through it. Starscream froze. It couldn't be Megatron, could it?

Starscream skidded around a corner and his frame banged into something hard. He yelped and jumped backwards—

Something touched his helm.

Starscream screeched and clawed at the servo that tried to reach for him. Suddenly, two large servos closed around his shoulders and began to lightly shake them.

"Starcream, calm yourself, it is me. There is no need to fear," Optimus said.

He jolted and looked up at the Prime. His frame was dented and scuffed and his field blared worry as the Prime crouched in front of him and his blue optics lit up the darkness.

Starscream blinked and shuffled away from Prime. There had been spilt energon, and a frenzied battle, and the Enforcers—

"There's just me, Starcream."

His wings fell. "...Did I say all of that out loud?"

"Yes. I do not know where Soundwave went. I tried to reach you, but I had to cut through the debris. By the time I reached you, Soundwave had vanished down a corridor. Did he hurt you?"

"Well, he downright traumatized me, that slagger! He just needs to crawl back to Megatron and stay there beside him!"

"I thought that throwing you away from Soundwaves and the drones would help get you away from Soundwave's wrath... I was wrong. I apologize. Are you alright? What did he do to you? Are you harmed?"

Starscream opened his intake, prepared himself to tell Optimus everything he could—

—And realized that he couldn't. The only sound he could make was a keen as he tilted forward and fell to his knees. Static laced his vision and his spark pulsed in his chestplates as nausea overwhelmed him.

"Starscream? Are you well?" Optimus asked gently as he knelt down beside him.

"I'm… I'm not fine, Prime. This was a trap, all of it! Soundwave is still here, Optimus, he's here and he's waiting and—when is he not listening to us, huh?! When is he not creepily lurking around and spying and watching and—" Starscream kicked the wall with his pede in his anger. The sound of his pede sharply hitting the wall echoed down the metal halls.

"Starscream—"

"And I don't even know why! I mean, sure, Megatron saved him in the arena and all that, but that was millennia ago and Megatron isn't the same mech he was before and—"

"Starscream, your helm is cracked open," Optimus said. He placed his servos atop the back of Starscream's helm to wipe away the spilt energon that was smattered over his helm. He stopped for a moment to just look at Starscream.

"Well, what are you doing? Is this another Autobot ritual?" Starscream scoffed.

Optimus shook his helm as he wiped the energon away. "No, I am just wiping you down… Megatron never bothered to check on you after a battle, did he?"

Starscream frowned. "He only came by after a mission to judge, never to help." He remembered the way Megatron's shadow had fallen over him after the Enforcers closed in and Starscream had gotten away, he remembered the way his violet engines blazed in the night—

"Your rage is your weapon, Starscream! It is a weapon! And you need me to help you wield it!"

He held still as Optimus wiped the energon away.

"Prime… do you think he'll ever get over me?"

Optimus's engine hummed thoughtfully. The sound of his engine rumbled down the halls and echoed into the darkness.

"One day. He managed to mostly move past my betrayal."

Starscream scoffed as his helm ached in pain. "Mostly?"

"He still tries to bring me back to him occasionally," Optimus said softly. A thin line of energon trickled down his arm.

"When… when did that happen?"

Optimus blinked and looked down at the scratch on his red armor. "During the falling debris. Starscream—"

"Megatron won't stop hurting you too," Starscream said numbly. "He won't ever stop, will he?"

He wouldn't become like Optimus, would he? Eternally hunted down by Megatron, constantly worried about his presence looming over him? Except Starscream was already like that, wasn't he? Optimus was going through the same thing he was. He was the only mech who had been hunted by Megatron just as much as Starscream was. And he had had to go through it alone. Suddenly, Starscream felt like he was seeing the Prime for the first time.

Starscream thought of a Seeker dying in the rubble of Vos. He promised to be there for her, so he'd promise to be there for the Prime as well. His vision was all staticky, Optimus's faceplate was blurring—he couldn't tell who was sitting beside him—was it that dying Seeker or was it the Prime? But he had to say something, to them, something—

"I'm sorry Megatron killed that innocent mech. He wasn't a towersmecha. He wasn't. But that didn't matter to him, did it?" Starscream said blearily. "And I'm sorry he wielded and m-manipulated you like a weapon, even though he saw you saw as a brother." Starscream hadn't even committed those crimes, yet he still felt the need to apologize for them. He'd helped Megatron rise to power and he couldn't help but feel a weird twinge in his chestplates whenever he heard about what crimes Megatron committed using that power.

He thought of the dead mechs all heaped up on one another in the command deck, the mechs he'd killed as revenge for bombing Vos, except he's not even sure if they bombed Vos—

"And I'm sorry I killed them all—"

Starscream froze. He wasn't supposed to say that. He couldn't let Optimus find the command deck. Not now, not ever. Optimus looked at him. There was a strange hitch in the Prime's field Starscream couldn't quite place.

"—I was apologizing! For killing the… the, um, the…" Starscream sighed and let his helm hit the wall behind him. "I'm sorry."

"...For what?"

Starscream offlined his optics. "You'll see."

Optimus shook his helm. "Megatron ruined Cybertron, he ruined our mission, he ruined your ability to not flinch whenever anybody touches you—"

"What? I don't flinch!" Starscream scoffed. "I don't flinch whenever you touch me."

Optimus finished wiping away the last of the energon from his helm. "Only whenever I touch you."

Starscream went silent.

"We will stop him from ruining anything else, Starscream. We will stop him."

Optimus just rested his servo atop his shoulders as they sat there on the ground.

"We will escape and Soundwave will not capture you. I will ensure that."

He's not here to capture me, Starscream almost said. He froze for a moment. He could tell Optimus about what Megatron had said, but that would require telling him about the bridge littered with the dead frames of the Enforcers he'd killed and would require telling Optimus about how Soundwave was trying to show him the footage of Cliffjumper's death.

Optimus couldn't see that footage. Starscream would see to that. He was ostracized enough already, if the Autobots learned specifically how their beloved teammate perished at his talons—

"Good. Let's… let's just get out of here."

All he had to do was ensure that Optimus never reached the bridge. Then he'd never see the evidence of his crimes and then he'd never have any doubts about whether he really wanted Starscream following him or not.

"Are you well enough to stand?"

"I'm… fine."

"Good. Ratchet, I need a bridge…" Optimus said as he began to comm Ratchet. Starscream stared off into the depths. He knew what horrors were down that hall. And he would never let Optimus see them.

* * *

_There was a battle above his helm. _

_Starscream swore and jumped away to avoid the falling debris. He couldn't find his trinemates, everything was on fire, and the stupid Decepticons and Autobots were fighting above him in their stupid spaceships. _

_He'd tried to run, he'd tried to avoid the war, but he got caught up in it. No matter where he went, there was fighting. Sooner or later he'd have to make a choice and decide which side to join. Neutrality was no longer an option. Those who remained Neutral perished. Even the greatest soldiers upon Cybertron, such as the Enforcers, had already fallen. So few of Vos's killers remained. _

_A rumbling noise boomed through the air. Starscream turned around and jumped back as Megatron transformed and flipped onto the ground beside him. _

_Starscream hissed and scrambled backwards. Slag it, he didn't have time for this. _

_Something distant and silver passed by far off behind Megatron's helm and a deep sense of dread filled his struts. Starscream leaned over to look past Megatron's bulking frame. A silver ship slipped in and out of the ash clouds. He didn't know why, but the curve of its hull seemed familiar to him. _

_Megatron growled and grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder. _

_"Listen to me! This is your time to fight! Use your rage—Oh. Oh." Megatron leaned in as Starscream began to shake under his grasp. "You recognize that ship over there, don't you?" _

_Starscream numbly nodded and watched as the ship flew out of an ash cloud. The Autobot insignia was branded onto its side and shone brightly in the red light. _

_Rage filled every circuit of his being. _

_"That was one of the ships that bombed Vos! They're murderers! Megatron, we need to stop them!" Starscream shouted. His wings flared and he tried to run and transform, but Megatron held him back. _

_He wrenched Starscream around until he and the Seeker were faceplate to faceplate. Megatron reached his massive servos around Starscream's helm and held his helm steady until their faceplates were a breath apart. _

_"Oh, Starscream," Megatron said softly, so softly. His hold upon his helm was gentle. "I won't stop them. But you can." _

_"I—" _

_"I cannot stop and fight beside you every time you want to go off on some mad crusade!" Megatron growled. _

_Starscream's wings fell. "But… you said we'd do this together!" _

_"Things change!" _

_"What—Are you scared? Is that what this is?! You say you'll help me avenge Vos, and then the very next moment you choose to just sit by and do nothing?" _

_Megatron suddenly lunged forward and slammed Starscream into a wall. "I have better things to do. A good commander cannot fight beside his soldiers, he must be above his soldiers! I have to fight the Prime!" _

_"He's not even here! You're just making excuses—" _

_"Listen closely, for I will not repeat this. You will bring that ship crashing down by yourself, or not at all. I am too busy watching my grand plan unfold to join you on some joyride." _

_Shock filled Starscream's field. "You… you don't want to help me? You said you would… you just want to watch Iacon burn!" _

_"Choose. Choose now! They are getting away, Seeker! Avenge your people now, or avenge them never at all!" _

_Starscream stared up at Megatron. The massive warlord towered over him and his frame was lit up by the light of the blazing fires all around them. _

_"Well—" _

_Megatron growled. The Autobot ship sent a bust of power to its engines and rocketed off as it flew farther and farther away. _

_He did have a point. He couldn't drop everything to fight beside Starscream all the time, could he? Even though he had promised— _

_The ship broke the sound barrier as it escaped Cybertron's grasp. _

_Starscream snarled. He had to avenge Vos, he had to. With or without Megatron. _

_"I'll do it," he said shakily. _

_"You made the right choice to join my Decepticons, Starscream. You are learning the way of things." _

_Starscream growled. "I haven't committed to anything yet, you know!" _

_Megatron whirled around as his optics blazed red. "Oh, Starscream. Is that what you tell yourself? Go ahead, bring them to ruin. Destroy them for me or I will destroy you." _

_He pushed Starscream off of the roof of the building and Starscream transformed and rocked into the sky. His field filled with more and more anger as the ship drew closer and closer. _

_He flew around the ship's vast silver hull and felt doubt suddenly enter his processor. This was the right decision, right? Right? _

_The side of the ship exploded as one of his missiles struck it. Starscream burst onto the ship and ran down the halls. The command deck was nearby, he knew it. _

_"Destroy them or I will destroy you," Megatron had said. Starscream couldn't avenge Vos if this ship wasn't destroyed, or if Megatron killed him. This was something he had to do. He pushed down the little protesting voice in his processor that sounded like Skyfire. _

_The massive metal doors to the command deck of the ship soon loomed ahead of him and the light of his blue optics lit up the Autobot badge blazed upon the doors. Beyond those doors were the slaughterers of his people. Beyond those doors were his revenge. _

_Starscream placed his talon upon the door and his other servo transformed into a blaster that was ready to fire. He looked at the doors, he took a deep vent— _

_He froze. The entire ship shook and rumbled around him as it flew along. Soon it would be too late, soon they would realize his presence and cut him down. It was now or never. _

_He kicked the door open and raised his blasters. He snarled, ready to shoot down the wretched mechs who had bombed his people— _

_A room full of Enforcers stared at him, their optics wide and shocked and their fields full of some strange emotion. _

_Starscream just couldn't bring himself to move. His memories of the Enforcers came back to him. _

_—Cold gleaming armor— _

_—Pointing their blasters— _

_—A twinge of fear in their fields that made his own spark ache with familiarity— _

_He took a shuddering vent. That was that strange feeling in their fields. Fear. _

_Starscream's processor ran into overdrive. The Enforcers couldn't have bombed Vos, right? It was the new Prime who commanded the Autobots and the Enforcers were only loyal to the older Prime, Sentinel. Unless the new Prime had hired them? They had their own ships, why were they on an Autobot one? He thought that since they had hunted him down, they'd also hunted down the remaining Seekers as well—right? _

_The Enforcers sprung into action and fired at him, forcing him to jump away. This shouldn't be hard. It should not be hard to just kill them, to give those bots the brutal death they rightfully deserved, to let them suffer as the dead Seekers of Vos had. _

_"Promise me," the dying Seeker had whispered. _

_But these weren't the bots who bombed Vos, were they? This was a different group from the one in the alleyway. _

_"They are monsters," Megatron had said to him. _

_Starscream's blasters began to shake. _

_They felt fear just as he did. They were just doing their job. _

_"Destroy them or I will destroy you," Megatron's voice whispered in his helm. _

_Starscream took a deep vent as he dodged their blaster bolts. They were attacking him, it was too late, they had hurt him and Skyfire and Thundercracker and Skywarp and all of Vos so so so much— _

_It was time to pay it back. He'd hunted them down, he couldn't stop now. _

_Starscream took a deep vent and made his choice. He lunged forward and he— _

* * *

"Gah!" Starscream yelped as a servo landed on his shoulder. Optimus looked at him in concern.

"You tuned out. I am sorry, Starscream, but I believe that the comms are being blocked. We are going to have to find the exit and try to get contact with Ratchet when we are outside."

Starscream growled and kicked the wall. Nothing, absolutely nothing was going to plan. But he was Starscream—if he had been able to endure Megatron for a thousand years, he could surely avoid his newest method of torture for a few more hours. He had time—well, at least until the ultimatum happened.

Two days. Just two days left.

"Well… then let's just go," Starscream said as he grabbed ahold of Optimus's servo and dragged him down the hall. For a brief moment they walked right past the open hall that led down to the command deck, all the way right down to the carnage and the horrors and the bodies—

Optimus briefly glanced at the hallway. Starscream felt his spark freeze in his chestplate.

"No, no, not that way, the air… is too still down there, we're looking for somewhere where it's not still, where the fresh breeze is coming in from... and w-where the exit is!" Starscream said breathlessly.

Optimus just looked at him. "Very well then. We should keep moving."

Starscream tried to hide the way his frame slumped in relief. He could do this, he could. He just had to keep Optimus away from that wretched room, and everything would be fine. Nobody would ever have to learn about what he did to the Enforcers and to Cliffjumper.

The security cameras recorded everything.

* * *

"I've been seeing your ugly helm far too often lately, Soundwave!" Bulkhead shouted.

Soundwave stood in front of the burning remains of a large military building. His blank and expressionless visor reflected Arcee, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead as he calmly stared back at them. All around them was devastation. The airfield was pocked with blaster marks, planes were flipped over, and entire buildings were on fire.

Soundwave said nothing. He merely extended his cables out around him and just stared at the Autobots.

"Uh… what's he doing?" Bumblebee beeped. All three of them had their blasters drawn and pointed directly at the Decepticon's chestplates, yet he still did nothing.

Bulkhead shrugged. "Er, nothing. He's just standing there being creepy."

Arcee scowled. "He's never doing just 'nothing.' He's planning something."

Soundwave's visor flashed violet and he began to walk off past the burning building.

"Hey, get your purple aft back here!" Bulkhead shouted as he ran off after Soundwave.

"Bulkhead, wait—" Bumblebee beeped desperately. Soundwave walked right up to a massive cloud of smoke that was belching out of the side of a building. He turned his helm over his shoulder, flashed his visor at them, and then vanished into the billowing clouds. Bulkhead ran after him with a massive roar.

"Scrap!" Arcee said as she and Bumblebee transformed and raced into the smoke cloud. Only their bright headlights lit up their dark and smoky surroundings as they drove endlessly through the ashy darkness. They dodged and swerved past flaming piles of debris and the smoking husks of jets and cargo planes.

"Where are they?" Bumblebee beeped. A loud buzzing noise suddenly vibrated through the air.

"I... I don't know…" Arcee said as the buzzing grew louder. She drove around a corner past another piece of flaming debris and came faceplate to faceplate with—

—Starscream.

Arcee suddenly transformed and pointed her blasters right ahead of her. A smoking F-16 jet with bent wings and a shattered and broken cockpit was right in front of her.

"You, you—" A sudden burst of rage rose up within her and then quickly faded away at the sight of the broken jet before her. "You're not Starscream," she said. It was just the jet that he had modeled his alt-mode off of.

"NEGATIVE," An electronic voice spoke.

Soundwave's thin cold servos landed on both of her shoulders. Arcee froze and slowly turned around until her faceplate was inches away from Soundwave's freezing cold visor. Something sharp pressed itself into her abdomen and she didn't have to look down to know that it was the barrel of a blaster.

"Soundwave," Arcee gritted out.

He tilted his helm as if amused. "THAT IS NOT STARSCREAM. NEGATIVE. BUT THAT—COULD—BE HIM." Arcee shivered as Soundwave spoke with the voices of ten different mechs spliced together.

Arcee blinked in confusion and turned around to look at the smoking and burning jet. "That's not Starscream, unfortunately. What are you getting at? Where is Bulkhead? What did you do to him?"

The buzzing grew louder. "THAT—FLAMING JET—COULD BE STARSCREAM...IF YOU JUST—ACTED."

Arcee's optics widened and she looked back at the burning jet. "What are you saying, Soundwave?"

"LET ME—SHOW YOU—"

A datapacket suddenly pinged in her helm. Arcee scowled. "Do you seriously think I'm going to open up whatever message you sent me?"

Soundwave leaned in. "YES. YOU HAVE TO FIND OUT—WHAT HE DID—SOONER OR LATER."

"What, Starscream? We already know what crimes he's committed. He's a monster, we've established this. Now where is Bulkhead?!"

Soundwave let her go and stepped over the burning jet. He silently stared at her from across the flames as they lit up his thin frame in bright bursts of red and orange. "You know, when I found Cliffjumper's corpse, I was rather surprised. It was so…"

Arcee froze. That wasn't Soundwave speaking. It was a recording of Megatron.

"So… mutilated, is the word, yes? So broken. So ravaged. Starscream did a number on the Autobot, he really did. I stood there and I wondered to myself 'Oh, what did Starscream do to you? How did you get into this state, young Autobot?' I wanted to find out. Wouldn't you like to find out, too?"

Arcee just stood there and stared at Soundwave. "I—"

"Don't you want to learn what Starscream did to Cliffjumper?"

Arcee scowled at Soundwave. "You—!"

"LET ME—SHOW YOU."

Arcee looked at the datapacket Soundwave had sent her on her HUD. It would be so easy to just open it—

Blasterfire scattered across the ground as Bulkhead and Bumblebee charged out of the smoke as they fired rapidly at Soundwave. His visor went dim and dark as he effortlessly dodged each blaster bolt and smoothly transformed before he glided into the air. A shadow passed over Arcee's helm and she watched Soundwave's alt-mode fly off into the dark cloud of smoke as if he were never there.

The three of them breathlessly stood there and stared at the hole in the smoke clouds where Soundwave had once been.

"'Cee! What did he do to you?" Bulkhead shouted.

"He…" Arcee trailed off as she looked at the datapacket on her HUD. "He gave us a way to find the truth."


	9. The Command Deck

Starscream stood over the dead husk of a drone Optimus just killed.

"There will be more," Optimus said. His frame was smeared with energon and the smell of spilt blood hung hot and thick in the dead ship's stale air.

Starscream knelt over the corpse and stared into its blank and dead visor. "Yes," he agreed, his voice perfectly flat and emotionless. He tried not to look behind him, tried not to look at the hallway and to where he knew it led.

The sound of hot static hissed into the air from Optimus's comm. He tried to get a signal back to base over and over again, and was met only with static. Their only company was the dead drones and the aching emptiness of the ship they were trapped in.

"Can't we just a blast a way out of this scrapheap?" Starscream growled.

Optimus shook his helm. "I am afraid not. The ship is highly unstable and could go down on us if I harm it in any way at all."

Optimus began to walk off in the direction of the command deck.

Starscream lunged forward and tightened his grip around Optimus's arm. His talons left behind faint scratch marks in the red metal of his arm.

"Not that way, no!"

The sound of pedes marched towards them from the darkness and made the entire ship shake and shudder as another contingent of drones came their way.

Optimus just looked at him, his faceplate dark and hidden within the dim light of the ship's emergency lights. The sound of shouting echoed down the hall and rang around their helms until all Starscream could hear was the sound of his energon as it pumped through his cabling, the hiss of the comm's static, and the shouts of the drones that were about to be on them at any moment, _so much shouting— _

_—The Enforcers had shouted in surprise when Starscream killed them— _

"Not that way, Optimus. Please!" Starscream shook out.

Optimus just looked at him, his field calm and smooth around him. The sound of the drones grew louder and louder until soon the sound of their marching pedes was deafeningly loud.

H glanced down at the dark hall that led to the command deck and then back at Starscream.

Suddenly, he grabbed ahold of Starscream and pulled the both of them into a sidehall. The two of them sat there in the darkness as the drones marched past, one after the other, their red visors piercingly bright in the darkness. Static hissed in the air, the drones marched past, and Optimus held Starscream tight as they hid in the shadows.

"Starscream."

He opened his optics and looked up at Prime. Optimus just stared at him, his bright blue optics shining bright in the gloom.

"You've been acting... rather strangely as of late."

Starscream rolled his optics and willed his spark to calm down in his chestplates. "Of course I am! I'm stuck in some scrapheap, why do you think?"

"What did Soundwave say to you?"

Starscream's spark froze. "He said… he said nothing to me, Prime." The lie was weak, even to his own audials.

Optimus frowned and the two of them stepped back into the main hall after the drones passed. The dark shadows of the corridor that led to the command deck seemed like a dark and suffocating thing that wanted to consume Starscream at any moment. He turned his back to the darkness. He has lied to thousands of mechs over the course of the war, he could lie to Prime—

"You are not just lying to me, you are also lying to yourself."

Starscream's wings fell flat on his back as cold dread filled his field. Optimus just stared at him, his field ever calm and patient.

"I am not…"

"Yes," Optimus began as he knelt down until they were faceplate to faceplate. "You are. What happened to you back there?"

Starscream tried to look Optimus in the optics and found that he could not. He stepped back to get away from the Prime and his searching gaze and felt his back hit the cold metal wall of the hallway. How do you tell a mech that you killed a bunch of mechs in cold blood a thousand years ago, and that you weren't even sure if they were the ones who had to die? And how do you tell him that they were all heaped up on one another just one hall away, waiting to be found, waiting for the evidence of their unjust slaughter to be found so that they can have their revenge a thousand years later—

The sound of marching started up again.

The bright red light of the drone's visors shone in a sidehall and the sound of their clanking pedes grew ever louder and louder.

"Promise me you'll be ready to tell me one day, Starscream. Promise me."

_"Promise me," the dying Seeker in Vos had said. "Promise me." _

Starscream offlined his optics and felt his spark wither as he made another promise he knew he couldn't keep.

"All right," he said.

Optimus let go of Starscream and the two of them transformed and raced down the hall as the drones closed in a second time.

Starscream prayed that at any moment a ray of sunshine would shine out at them from some exit. No luck came. They descended farther into the darkness as the sound of the drone's marching pedes continued to grow louder and louder. They emerged into a large and vast room littered with the remains of mining equipment.

For a moment Starscream thought it was the command deck and he felt his spark freeze—but it was just some empty room.

The sound of the approaching drones boomed through the empty room's air.

It wouldn't be empty for long, though.

"Starscream…" Optimus started to say.

"What?! You still want to know what Soundwave said to me? Are you worried we're scheming something together, is that it? You want to know if he gave me a time limit to join Megatron or you, is that it?"

Optimus just looked at him. "I want to know what scheme he's devised to _hurt _you. And Starscream… I never said anything about a time limit."

Starscream felt his spark freeze. "I… you don't need to know, Optimus." Starscream grit out.

He couldn't tell Optimus, he just couldn't. That would require revealing the carnage he had caused on the bridge and would require telling him about the threat of the ultimatum looming over his helm. Optimus just stared at him as the emergency alarms began to blare and as the sound of the marching soldiers grew even louder.

He knew Optimus would not dispose of him—the Prime had made that clear—but telling the Prime about how Soundwave cornered him and _forced _him to choose between Megatron and him made something tight coil around Starscream's spark.

"Starscream..." Optimus began. Starscream looked around and felt a chill travel through his armor. There were no side passages, no hidden corridors or hiding spots, not a single thing at all to hide them from the horde of drones that was about to come their way. The entire room was just a dead-end.

"We will have to fight them," Optimus continued. His battlemask snapped shut and the hallway lit up with the blood-red light of the drone's visors.

Starscream offlined his optics and tightened his servos into fists. "Yes."

He'd been unable to fight Soundwave back at the river and he was unable to even get a single punch in when Soundwave confronted him about the ultimatum—he couldn't win those fights against Soundwave. But he would win this one.

Starscream began to walk away from the Prime when suddenly a servo closed around his shoulder. Optimus looked at him, one servo on his shoulder and the other transformed into a blaster and ready to fire.

"Prime, what now—? I know my place. I'm supposed to fight off in the corner away from you."

Optimus's optics widened. "You will not share the information with me. But you can at least fight with me."

The emergency lights lit up and made the entire room glow blood-red.

"You want to… you want to fight beside me?" Starscream stuttered. His field rippled in a strange mixture of shock and gratitude.

_"Oh, Starscream," Megatron had said softly, so softly. Starscream had wanted to fight the Enforcers beside him back then. "I won't stop them. But you can." _

_"I—" Starscream stuttered out. Megatron had promised, he'd _promised—

_"I cannot stop and fight beside you every time you want to go off on some mad crusade!" Megatron growled. _

_Starscream's wings fell. "But… you said we'd do this _together! _" _

_"Things change!" _

Starscream snapped back to the present as Prime tightened his hold on his shoulder.

"We will do this _together, _" Optimus said.

"Oh, together?!" a drone snarled.

They both turned around and came faceplate to faceplate with a drone standing before them. His red visor flared and he pointed a servo directly at Starscream.

"Together, did you all hear that? So this is the reason Megatron has been so… off lately."

"Megatron? Off? He's always off, he's practically insane!" Starscream growled.

The drone just looked at him. "He won't stop obsessing over you, _Commander! _" the drone hissed.

Optimus frowned. "Soldier, what do you mean? To what lengths will Megatron go to bring us back?"

"You just don't understand, do you? He doesn't want _you _back, Prime! He wants Starscream back because he wants Starscream to replace you!" the drone laughed bitterly. His visor flickered and a hint of anxiety entered his field.

The other drones did not have his patience. They all rushed forward in a swarm of red visors and flashing purple armor. Optimus fired off round after round of hot blue blaster bolts and Starscream unsheathed his talons and viciously slashed away at the joins and necks of the approaching drones that came running at him. The first drone just stood there, his frame frozen as he watched the battle rage on around him.

He turned and began to run back down the way he came.

"Wait!" Starscream shouted after him.

"Traitor!" the drone screeched.

Another drone snuck up behind Starscream and knocked him to the floor with a kick between his wings. Starscream fell hard against the ground and the drone lifted his pede right onto his cockpit, right over his spark chamber and began to _press down _—

_—bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede— _

"You betrayed us. Why?" the drone asked slowly.

Starscream found that he did not know the answer. He kicked the drone's midsection with the tip of his pede and used that opportunity to roll him over and slash his neck.

Optimus grunted in pain and Starscream whipped around to face the Prime. A cloud of smoke curled away from his torso and he held a single servo to the singemark. A drone stood behind him farther off in the hall with an upraised blaster.

Starscream blinked. That blaster had been pointed right at _him, _not Optimus. Yet Optimus had moved in the way and gotten hit instead, but that made no sense because surely the Prime would've notice he was in the line of fire, unless—?

"Optimus… did you… throw yourself in front of me?" he shakily breathed out. The last time somebody had thrown their own frame in front of a blaster to save Starscream was when Megatron got really angry at him and fired at him, so Thundercracker—

_"Starscream!" _Optimus warned. A drone suddenly came out of a shadow and ran at Starscream at full speed.

He was thrown into a sideroom by the impact and rolled across the floor. The drone lunged at him and he yelped and slashed his talons at his neck cabling. The dead drone landed on his prone frame and Starscream sighed as he tossed the deactivated frame off of him.

Nobody moved. Optimus just stood there and held a servo to his midsection as Starscream shakily rose to his pedes. The bodies of the drones were all heaped up on one another, in much the same way the Enforcers were—

No. He wouldn't let himself think about what was hidden in the command deck. He'd find an exit and escape with Optimus and never, ever think about this wretched place ever again.

Something crunched under his pede.

Starscream's optics widened and he reached down and picked up a remote.

"A groundbridge remote," he breathed as Optimus stepped up beside him. "Primus, I love Decepticon scientists! We could use this to get out of here!"

Optimus frowned and picked up the remote. He typed in a set of coordinates and activated a groundbridge right in front of the two of them. Hope soared through Starscream's spark and he prepared himself to walk right through it and out of that hellhole—

The groundbridge flashed and trembled. Optimus grabbed ahold of Starscream and ran out with him to the hallway as the whole bridge exploded in a brilliant flash of green light.

The two of them just sat there in the hallway while breathing heavily.

"Scrap!" Starscream swore as he punched his fist onto the floor. "We needed that to work!"

Optimus shook his helm. "I am sorry, Starscream, but that groundbridge remote is far too unsafe to use. It has been sitting unused for probably a thousand years and any bridge it creates could collapse upon us. We should just find an exit and comm for a bridge from Ratchet once we reach the outside."

Starscream sighed as he dragged his servo down his faceplate. "Fine, fine, whatever. Just… let me keep it. I want to reverse-engineer it."

He slid the remote underneath his cockpit and hid it there under his armor.

Optimus smiled. "And yet you say that the scientist in you is dead. We must continue searching for an exit together."

Starscream let out a heavy vent. _Together. _There was that strange word again that meant so much and yet so little at the same time. He and his trinemates—no, his _brothers _had fought together, and it was amazing. Megatron and him had fought together, and it was… awful.

Except, Megatron never really did fight beside Starscream, did he? He was often present at battles, yes… but when was the last time the warlord fought with him back to back? Starscream frowned and found that he had trouble remembering.

But Optimus…

The Prime continued to walk off down the hallway, oblivious to the turmoil within Starscream's processor.

The Prime had fought beside Starscream the same way the brothers of Starscream's trine had fought beside him.

* * *

_"We're brothers, right?" _

_They looked out across the vast swath of destruction before them. The spires of Iacon burnt away in the night and flames roared everywhere. The bright lights of a distant construction yard lit up the sharp hulking hull of Megatron's warship under construction. _

_"Master, you heard me, right? We _are _brothers, right?" Starscream repeated. _

_Megatron's smile faltered for a split second. "Oh, of course my dear Starscream. Of course." _

_The warlord pulled him closer and the two of them watched the flames together. "We are brothers Starscream—we came from different cities, different castes, different everything, yet we still came together in the end. And soon, we shall end _all _of this and rebuild Cybertron. Future Decepticon historians will speak of how Orion Pax and Megatron—" _

_"Um, who is Orion Pax?" _

_Megatron froze. Starscream gasped harshly as his talons suddenly dug into his armor and drew energon. _

_"Megatron, you're hurting me—!" _

_He shoved the Seeker away as if revolted by him. Megatron's faceplate suddenly spasmed in anger and his fist clenched and unclenched by his side. _

_"Did… I say another designation instead? My bad, brother." _

_"That's a weird mistake to make! How could you possibly mistaken me for some other bot? I'm one of your most loyal followers." _

_Megatron nodded as if in a daze. "Yes, yes, of course, Starscream, of course. Orion… was like a brother to me. I realized far too late though that his kindness was just a charade that he used to manipulate so that he could claim the Primehood for himself. You… are different, though." _

_Megatron knelt down and grabbed ahold of Starscream's helm in both of his talons. His touch was gentle, yet it still made a cold chill go down Starscream's struts. That was odd, everything was on fire around them, so how could he be cold? He decided not to think too much about it. Megatron had said he would do the thinking and scheming for him. Instead, Starscream could just focus on avenging Vos. _

_The warlord's grip on his helm tightened as he pressed their forehelms together and soon their faceplates were only a breath away. Megatron stared at Starscream as if in a daze, as if he was seeing somebody else instead. _

_"You… Orion—I mean, Starscream… you will be everything that Orion _should've _been." _

_A sense of honor flared up in his spark. He did not know who this Orion was, all he knew was that Megatron thought Starscream was worthy enough to take his place. He didn't know why Orion Pax left and betrayed Megatron—but it didn't matter why, did it? _

_And yet again he got that feeling again—that cold, slinking, climbing, crawling sense of danger that he got right when he was on the precipice of great danger. The last time Starscream had felt that chill was right before Vos was vaporized. _

_"Oh, Starscream, _you _are my brother now," Megatron said softly. _

_Starscream's wings perked up. It had been so long since a bot looked at him with such intensity before. He was tired of being ignored and was glad to be considered useful again. _

_"And when my trinemates come and join us again—" Starscream began to say. Megatron's optic twitched. "Then nothing will stop the four of us—!" _

_"No!" Megatron roared. His hold on Starscream's helm suddenly grew painful and pinpricks of energon bled out from where his talons pierced his helm. _

_"It will be just us two, Starscream! Just us two brothers, no one else! You will have no other brother before _me! _Show no emotion for no one else!" Megatron shouted directly into his faceplate. _

_Starscream tried to pull away, but Megatron suddenly yanked him tight and wrapped his massive arms around him. He could hardly move, could hardly breathe—all he could see was the bright metal chestplate of Megatregaton and the reflection of the flames within them. Megatron stroked his spinal strut with a shaking talon. _

_"Oh, Orion—I mean, Starscream… we need no one except for ourselves. We do not need the fledgling Autobots, the cowards of the Council, or even the Primehood. We just need each other." _

_Megatron's grip suddenly grew tighter until soon Starscream began to feel a strange pressure in his spark chamber. _

_"M-megatron? P-please let go, you're crushing me—!" _

_"Never leave me the way he did. Never," Megatron growled. Starscream was held so tightly to the warlord's frame that he could feel his every word and growl boom through his entire frame. _

_"You shouldn't have made me angry, Starscream. Do not dare to bring other mechs into this. You only need me. Now, do you have anything else to say?" Megatron said softly as he leaned his helm down to look at Starscream—his voice was soft, but there was a hard glint in his optics that made a shiver run down Starscream's struts. _

_Starscream wanted to open his intake and just let it all out—every complaint, every grief of his, every doubt and worry and concern about whether Megatron's way was really the right way— _

_He felt Megatron's servos clench into fists. _

_Starscream let out a shuddering vent and offlined his optics. Megatron's way was the _only _way. Starscream's other options had all burnt away. He had even helped Megatron burn them. _

_Megatron smiled and his sharpened dentae glistened in the harsh red light of the flames. "Good, Starscream, good. True brothers do not need to share words—just let me do all of the speaking, thinking, and hard work for you. Follow my word, my every thought, bend to my will—and Vos will be avenged." _

_Starscream nodded. He was tired, oh so very tired, the kind of tiredness that was not just physical, but mental as well. He felt like he was going to crumble into a hundred pieces at any moment… but fortunately, he had Megatron. He just had to follow Megatron and let him do the hard work. All Starscream had to do was execute his will. His will was… brutal, sometimes. But the Council was also cold and brutal at times as well. Megatron had helped him to understand that. _

_And yet— _

_Starscream looked behind him and back at the charred remains of the Academy. A voice in the back of his helm—no, not just any voice, Skyfire's voice—quietly whispered to him from within the depths of his processor. _

_He's not your brother, Starscream. He's not— _

_Megatron pulled him closer and they both stared out into the burning night. Starscream had to stay with Megatron, he had to. He had no other choice._

* * *

"It's a trap. It has to be!" Ratchet scowled.

The computer console shone in front of the three of them. The datapacket Soundwave had sent over to Arcee had been downloaded onto the computer and now sat there innocuously on the screen.

"It could be a virus! Who knows what the creep is trying to download onto our computer?" Bulkhead said.

Ratchet frowned. "I scanned it and it came up clear. He's not trying to hurt us with malware, I know that much. I don't like this not one bit."

_"Is Optimus still on his mission with… him?" _Bumblebee warbled.

Ratchet let out a deep sigh. "Unfortunately. I have no idea what's holding them up so much."

"Could Sounders have gotten them? Or Buckethead?" Bulkhead said.

Ratchet just stared at the screen. "I've tried comming Optimus… but there was no response." Ratchet softly said as he gripped ahold of the lever that controlled the groundbridge. One comm, one word, one set of coordinates—that was all it would take to bring Optimus home. Yet the comms remained dead and silent.

"Something is wrong. Soundwave shows up bearing 'gifts,' and then Optimus goes comm dead? We should have never let him go on a mission with Starscream alone!" Arcee growled as she paced across the room.

Ratchet just continued to stare at the unopened datapacket, his field dark and heavy around him. "He will call us when he is ready to come back."

Arcee whirled around. "And what if he _is _ready? What if he's trying to contact us right now, but can't because that Seeker got his claws in him and—"

Bumblebee let out an alarmed warble and put a servo on her shoulder. The comm lines continued to hiss static and the three of them continued to just stare at the screen.

"Do you really… do you really think Screamer did something?" Bulkhead asked as he wringed his servos together. Grief and rage mingled together in his field, Bumblebee just beeped sadly, and Arcee just continued to pace across the room.

Ratchet felt his whole age hit him all at once. It would be so easy to find out the truth behind one of the greatest mysteries that had plagued them for so long, just one click of a button, and they could see how Cliffjumper died.

_"Do you think it hurt?" _Bumblebee warbled. Everybody turned to stare at him and his optics widened.

_"I know… what we're really avoiding talking about here. Cliff—" _

"Don't say his name, Bee. Don't." Arcee hissed.

Bumblebee's doorwings fell on his back. _"I'm sorry, it just slipped out… I just… wonder sometimes." _

Ratchet returned his optics to the screen and continued to stare at the datapacket as it blinked on the screen. "I wonder about that too. I think we all do. But it's a trap, it has to be. It _has _to be. We're not making any decisions on whether to open it or not until Optimus returns."

"But what if he doesn't return? What if, while we're sitting here debating whether to figure out how _Cliffjumper _died—the same bot who killed Cliffjumper is currently off killing _Optimus? _" Arcee shouted.

Silence fell. The dead static of the comms hissed in the air.

"We will wait for Optimus to return. He _will _return. He has to. And when he does return with Starscream in tow, we will find out just how our teammate died—either from this datapacket, or from the murderer himself."

"As if Screamer would tell us that!" Bulkhead scoffed.

Ratchet stared at the screen and listened to the dead static. "We will _make _him tell us."

* * *

"Why… why did he never fight beside me?" Starscream whispered. He and Optimus continued to walk aimlessly into the ship's depths.

"You were just a tool to him, Starscream. A weapon. Something to be used and then thrown away when broken. He did not bother to watch over you," Optimus said, his voice so quiet and so soft. Megatron had spoken softly to Starscream, too.

Optimus fought beside him, was honest with him—and yet Starscream wasn't honest to him in return.

It had been a long time since that kind of guilt had welled up within Starscream, yet there it was, fresh and raw and hurting.

But he couldn't tell Optimus the truth about what was on the command deck. He _couldn't _.

A groan came from the debris.

Optimus whirled around and pointed his blaster directly at a pile of debris that had crashed down from the ceiling during the fight. The dim red glow of a prone drone's visor shone weakly amongst the dust and debris. Optimus's field instantly softened and he knelt beside the pinned drone. The drone immediately began to struggle and try to get away.

Starscream wasn't sure why, but the sight of that drone trapped under all that rubble made his spark twinge.

"Optimus—"

"You!" the drone snarled suddenly. "You… L-lord Megatron wants you back, Commander—I mean, _traitor _Starscream!" the drone hissed out as a trickle of energon leaked out of his intake.

Starscream was frozen. Hot rage and confusion warred within him all at once. A part of him wanted to rebuke the drone for having refused to call him by his rank, another part of him wanted the drone to just die, and another part of him just wanted to leave him there. Optimus moved to the side and watched Starscream carefully.

"You… wait, what's that light?" Starscream said as he took a step back. A bright white light shined from somewhere nearby, he had to find it, it could be a way out—

It was coming from the drone's internals. A large gash stretched across his chestplates and arcs of electricity flickered and danced across his plating.

"Oh," Starscream said. "You're the slagger who tried to shoot me!"

The drone coughed up energon. "And _you're _the s-slagger who b-betrayed us all and _left _us!"

Starscream growled. "Well, then, I won't leave you! I am _no _traitor! Megatron betrayed us all first."

"W-what?"

"Well...neither of us can pull you out from under there. But I'll stay here. I'll be here. You accused me of leaving you all. So then I'll just have to stay."

The drone went silent and just stared at him.

_"Stay here. Be _here. _Promise me _," _the dying seeker had asked him. _

Starscream didn't need to wait for the drone to ask.

"I'll stay here. For you." Starscream said as he rubbed the back of his neck cabling awkwardly. He wasn't sure why, but staying there beside the drone who felt so hurt by his betrayal just felt like the right thing to do for some reason.

The drone's visor flickered and his field rippled weakly around him.

"Okay," he finally said.

Starscream sat there with the drone and waited for him to die.

He didn't know how long he sat there. He was only aware of the weak whir of the dying drone's internals as they shut down one by one and the hot hiss of static from Optimus's dead comm.

"Megatron saw you as just another drone, Starscream," Optimus softly began.

"What, you can't wait for the drone to pass into the Well before you begin to lecture me again?"

"He has already passed."

Starscream jolted and looked down at the prone drone. His visor was black and his frame had already begun to turn grey.

"Oh," he said numbly.

"Starscream…"

"I'm not going to tell you what Soundwave did to me. I just _can't. _"

"That is not what I was going to ask. I was just going to say that… you did well."

Starscream scoffed. "Of course I did well! I'm an excellent fighter."

Optimus shook his helm. "No, you did well comforting him as he died."

Starscream's intake drew into a hard line and he frowned at the drone. "That's not what I was doing. I was proving a point!" he said. He was just supervising an enemy as he died, that was all.

Optimus seemed to think otherwise. "Comforting him is _precisely _what you were doing. I did not expect that from you."

"And what _did _you expect?" Starscream said as he walked away from the drone's body. He couldn't stand to look at it for some reason.

"For you to get angry at him. For you to scold him, kill him, or just walk away. But you _stayed. _You didn't want him to be alone."

Starscream tried his hardest to avoid looking at the Prime. "So?" he scoffed.

"_ So _you care. You didn't want to be alone, so you didn't want _him _to be alone."

"What? I'm not alone, I have you!"

"You didn't want to fight alone. You thought you'd have to fight by yourself on the other side of the room, and I had to stop you. Is that what Megatron teaches his soldiers? To fight for their lives away from where they could be helped and to fend for themselves when he could easily help them? Does he just leave them to do his dirty work for him?"

"He…" Starscream stuttered out. "He prefers to have more room to fight."

Optimus's field bloomed with sadness. "He has no room for you beside him because he doesn't care about you."

"_ You _fought beside me," Starscream said. He turned around and saw Optimus smile at him sadly.

"Of course."

"But… why?" Starscream said as he whipped around to face the Prime. Nobody ever liked fighting alongside Starscream. They were too worried about him betraying and attacking them, or they thought he was too vicious out on the battlefield, or they thought he wasn't _v _icious _enough, _or—

Or they just didn't like him, so they didn't want to risk dying beside him.

"Starscream, why _wouldn't _I fight beside you?" Optimus said as he walked over to him.

He flinched backwards and opened his intake to respond, tried to come up with a reason why he wouldn't... and then he just shut his intake. "For… so many reasons, Prime. I've always had to fight alone. It's just the way of things."

Optimus frowned. "What about your trinemates?"

Starscream's armor locked up around him. "What about them?" he said icily.

Optimus seemed to realize his mistake and cautiously raised his servos. "Did they not fight alongside you, back to back?"

Memories of flying through the gleaming towers of Vos sprung unbidden into Starscream's processor. He offlined his optics and forced the memories of blue and purple wings shining in the light back down into the depths of his processor, right back where they belonged.

"Once," he said. "In the early days of the war… but as time drew on, we drew apart from each other, and—_ gah! _" Starscream took a shaky step backward and pointed his servo at the watchful Prime. "I am not having yet another one of these emotional Autobot chat breakdowns, not again! Nope!"

Optimus's field fell heavy around them both. "Do you want to not be an Autobot?"

Starscream froze for a moment. "Well… I do, but I didn't know it would include all of… _this! _" he harshly breathed out.

Optimus's field seemed lighter now. "Being an Autobot does mean that you will be treated like an actual person and not a tool to be disposed of, yes. I suppose Megatron never bothered to see how you or any of his other soldiers were feeling, did he?"

"No. We never really did talk about the way the war affected us all."

"Then you must get used to it. Becoming an Autobot means that we will have more 'emotional Autobot chats' in the future, not because I want to break you down, but because I want to build you up. Megatron never had any talks like this with you because he never cared about you."

Starscream flinched. He knew for years that the kind and friendly gladiator Megatronus was just a facade meant to hide the true uncaring monster beneath. He knew this, and yet somehow, those words still hurt to hear.

"But _you _care, Starscream," Optimus said as the two of them began to walk out of the dark room they were trapped in and back into the main hall of the ship.

"What, about the war?"

Optimus shook his helm. "You cared enough about that drone to not leave him behind."

"Oh, pffft, I had to stay beside him because I promised to."

Optimus just looked at him. "He never made you promise to stay with him as he died."

Starscream stopped walking. "What, no! I could see it in his optics. He _did _make me promise to stay with him… didn't he?"

"You promised _yourself _that you would stay with him."

He just stared at Optimus before he then looked away. Yet again, the Prime had somehow managed to render him speechless.

Optimus saved him from having to say something yet again. "We should continue looking for an exit so I can comm Ratchet."

Starscream just nodded silently and walked off. He wasn't sure, but he thought he saw the Prime smile at him.

* * *

_"You are coming with us." _

_Starscream scoffed at the Autobots before him. "Oh, really? I don't think so." _

_He had not been having a good day. His new Decepticon insignia had been burned into his chestplate and Primus, did it hurt! His trinemates were growing distant from him, Soundwave was constantly observing him, and Megatron had gone and slammed him into a wall. It hadn't been Megatron's fault, though, not really. He was having a bad day and he had to let some anger out. Megatron just lashed out, that was all. That made it okay, right? Right. It had to be okay. It _would _be okay—Megatron promised him. _

_"I have more important things to attend to than two upstart hot rods," Starscream said as he strode away from the two Autobots who had their blasters pointed at him. Right as he began to turn around he felt a burst of heat and light explode in the air beside him. _

_Starscream whirled back around and snarled at the two Autobots. For a single moment they looked frightened, but then their determination returned and they continued to point their blasters at him. _

_"You will come with us, Decepticon! The Prime will ensure you receive justice." _

_"Is killing oppressive tyrants not just, Autobot? Because I did just that. I did more than you Autobots were _ever _willing to do." _

_Slag it, he didn't have time for this. Megatron's mood had been worsening ever since the disastrous Council meeting a while back and Starscream had to return to base soon. He didn't want to make his already temperamental Lord even more temperamental by being late. For a single moment he wondered if he should just rip out the new insignia that had been burnt into him and just fly off into the night— _

_No. Starscream grit his dentae. He had promised to avenge Vos, and he _would. _He couldn't abandon bringing about justice for his dead people just because his new leader couldn't control who his servos hit sometimes. Megatron had promised him he would help him avenge Vos, and Megatron wouldn't go back on his promise. He _wouldn't.

_"I would appreciate it if you two young menaces would leave me alone. I have actual threats to worry about." _

_Hot rage flared up in their young, oh so very young fields. "You're not much older than we are, are you?" one of them said. _

_Starscream turned to look at them and frowned. Now that he really looked at them, he realized that they were older models than him. His wings drooped once he realized that _he _was the young one there, not them. Apparently, they realized the same thing. For a single moment he felt pity flare up in their fields. _

_Starscream snarled at them. "I am not something to be pitied!" _

_"Precisely," a harsh voice said. _

_Cold dread closed around Starscream's spark and he looked up and into the shadows. Two blood red optics leered down at him from the shadows of a nearby rooftop. _

_"Ah… my Lord," Starscream began. He was distantly aware of the terror that suddenly rose up in the two Autobot's fields, but he was too concerned with the terror rising up in his own field to care. _

_Megatron cocked his helm and just looked at him. "You do not deserve to be pitied, Starscream. You let your people die, after all. Why do you waste your time with these children?" he said as he looked over at the shivering Autobots with bored disinterest. _

_Starscream cleared his intake. "Well, er, they're wasting _my _time." _

_Megatron's head slowly turned to look back at him. "Is that so? Then make them stop. Starscream, kill them." _

_Starscream's jaw dropped. "What?" Yes, they were annoying, but they hadn't done anything to actually hurt him. There was no need for that much violence, was there? _

_A voice in the back of his processor said otherwise. Memories of the carnage upon that silver ship he'd boarded suddenly flashed back into his processor. Starscream grit his dentae and tried to will the images away. He'd done the right thing. He _had.

_"What are you waiting for? We have work to do. Don't make me hit you again, Starscream. Don't make me angry. Do you remember the last time you made me angry?" Megatron said as his optics flared. For a single moment, Starscream felt a brief pulse of more pity from the two Autobot's fields. Megatron's helm whipped around and he turned his intense gaze onto the Autobots. "This wretch is worth nothing, not even pity." _

_He turned back to Starscream and smiled. It looked just as kind as all the other ones he had given him before, yet there was something about this particular smile that made Starscream's armor lock up. _

_"Why waste time and energon killing two Autobots who we can just leave in the dust behind us?" Starscream said. _

_Megatron hummed in thought. "And why should I help you avenge the deaths of your people if you won't even bother to lift a servo to dispose of two enemy soldiers?" _

_Starscream felt his spark sink. "That's not what I meant—" _

_"Oh, but it _was _what you meant, my dear Starscream. When you are a Decepticon, you must fight your enemies who have wronged you." _

_"They haven't even done anything to me yet! They haven't wronged us—" _

_Megatron leaped off of the rooftop and leaned in so close he could feel the hot air from his massive vents blast over him. "They have! They chose the wrong side in this war, and for that alone they must die. It does not matter if they have wronged you personally or not, Starscream! They still must be disposed of. Don't make me angry!" _

_Starscream took a step back. "What?! Aren't you angry already?" _

_Megatron's optics flashed. "You have seen _nothing _yet." _

_Starscream grit his dentae and tried not to think about what that meant. Megatron didn't like it when he thought too hard about the orders given to him—he just wanted him to _obey _those orders. _

_"If you want them dead so much, then just get rid of them yourself! Why do I have to do your dirty work for you? Take your anger out on them, not me!" _

_Megatron hit him and sent him hurtling into the air. Starscream felt something inside of him snap as he hit the ground. The cold and clear sound of Megatron's laughter echoed after him. _

_"You've seen nothing yet, Starscream!" _

_The two Autobots were frozen in the street. They watched him pick up his bleeding and shaking frame from the ground and stand back up. _

_"I will not kill them, Megatron," Starscream said. He still remembered killing the Enforcers. He still remembered the sensation of his claw ripping through their mesh wiring and the smell of their spilt energon and the snap of their necks and— _

_He couldn't go through that again. He's spilt enough blood for Megatron already. _

_"You will, oh, but you _will _. I cannot fight alongside you, don't you know that? A good commander must be above their soldiers, not beside them. You must have power over them. If you aren't powerful enough to take down two runts, you're not powerful enough to avenge Vos." _

_Starscream felt every word stab into him like a blade. "Master, no! I don't… I don't want to hurt anymore mechs. I shouldn't have hurt those Enforcers in the alleyway and on the ship. I can still avenge Vos, Master, I really can! I just don't want to hurt anymore mechs than I have to, that's all. Violence isn't the answer!" _

_"Violence is the _only _answer, Starscream, and you must force your enemies to accept that!" Megatron growled. _

_The two Autobots were gone now. They had seen Megatron's madness and fled from it. If only Starscream had enough sense to do the same. _

_Starscream just laid there on the street as his entire frame ached and burned. A shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Megatron's frame tower above him. _

_"Oh, Starscream. You think my anger was bad? The Council's anger is far worse. Were it not for me, the towersmecha and the Enforcers would still be hitting you and beating you around. Fortunately, you made the right choice and you joined me. I hit you far less than they do, do you know that, Starscream? Do you understand how much _better _I am? I am a kind Lord." _

_Starscream choked out a sob and nodded. Megatron gently patted his shaking shoulder before he then yanked him to his pedes. _

_"Good. I need you to kill some more mechs for me…"_

* * *

Starscream couldn't bring himself to look the Prime in the optics. They continued to wander through the dark and dusty halls of the abandoned ship as they constantly tried and constantly failed to find an exit. He began to miss his old cell back at the Autobot base. At least in his cell he didn't have to worry about Megatron prying his way in and grabbing him in the middle of the night and—

Starscream shook his helm. Optimus wouldn't let that happen.

"I hear you, sometimes," Optimus said softly.

Starscream felt a sinking feeling in his spark. He wasn't even sure why. "Hear what? My screaming? I don't have my designation for no reason, Prime."

"No… I hear you at night."

"You mean…?"

"Your nightmares."

"...Oh. Well, they're not really nightmares, Prime, not every bad dream is a nightmare. Primus, you Autobots are far too soft. I just… see things sometimes."

Optimus hummed thoughtfully. "What do you see?"

"I see Meg—why does this matter?! What does my recharge have to do with anything? We're trapped in a ship while being hunted by killer drones, and you want to talk about sleep health?"

"When else am I supposed to do so, Starscream? I have seen mechs like you before. You'll be loud and outgoing one day and then quiet and holding in your trauma the next day. I'm worried you are—"

"—Burning up?"

"Precisely."

"I still don't understand why you're so determined to help me. I hold in the...fear... so what? It's the way of things."

Optimus's field fell heavily around them. "It is _Megatron's _way of things. Not mine. Never mine."

Starscream didn't know what to say to that.

"Do you dream of… him?"

Starscream offlined his optics. "Of course I do. Who doesn't?"

"...How often?"

He rolled his optics and growled. "Prime, this has nothing to do with our current situation."

"It has everything to do with our current situation. I am worried that this nightmare Soundwave has constructed is getting to you."

"Of course it's getting to me! His schemes always leave me…"

"...Traumatized," Optimus finished. "I've seen too many mechs lose themselves to the nightmares and trauma of war. I worry that you're losing yourself to those nightmares as well. I don't want you to burn yourself up the same way Megatron burnt himself up. When we finally give in to the trauma and become numb to it, we lose ourselves. I don't want you to lose yourself. I have lost enough mechs in this war already."

"I'm already lost, okay, Prime?"

"No, you are not. If you were truly lost, you wouldn't have tried to comfort that drone as he died. Yet you did so anyway. When we lose ourselves to the nightmare and get used to their fear and horrors, it becomes easier to commit horrors. I saw… many mechs so traumatized by the machinations of the Council do terrible things in order to get their nightmares to stop."

Starscream remained silent. They continued to wander aimlessly through the dark and cold halls of the ship.

Pedes clanged against the floor.

Optimus and Starscream both suddenly whirled around and stared into the darkness behind them. A light shone from within a sideroom and Optimus quietly stepped up to the door and peered inside.

A whole room of drones stood before them, their backs to the door as they all stared at some message on a computer console.

Their presence hadn't been noticed. It would be so easy, wouldn't it? To just give into the nightmare Soundwave schemed up and just numbly kill all the drones that stood before him. That was exactly what Soundwave wanted. Deep down, some twisted part of himself wanted that as well.

"Let's just get rid of them," Starscream harshly whispered to him.

Optimus looked down at him and narrowed his optics. "Why?" he said. His voice sounded deeper and harder now.

Starscream blinked in confusion as the Prime continued to stare at him with a hard glare. "What? I'm just saying…"

"...that these mechs who have done no wrong to us should just be killed? They have not harmed us. This is a different group from the ones we encountered earlier. They have not noticed us nor tried to attack us. There is no need for carnage in this place."

_Carnage. _Starscream tried not to think about what was hidden in the command deck.

"But they might attack us sooner or later! Why should we give them the chance?" Starscream growled.

"My team and I do not entirely trust you yet. You might attack us sooner or later. Why should we give you the chance?"

Starscream went silent.

"...That is what I thought, Starscream. Violence isn't the only answer."

_"Violence is the only answer, Starscream, and you must force your enemies to accept that," _Megatron had said to him so many years ago, yet his old voice felt so relevant.

He'd killed that Enforcer in that alleyway and the ones on the ship. He could've fled, could've run away from them in both situations and been done with it—those Enforcers were different groups from the ones that had hunted him down and hurt him before. Yet he had been violent to them. And there was all the other times during the war he didn't have to kill, but chose to. The image of dead Enforcers heaped up on one another on the command deck flashed into his processor. He thought of a certain cocky red Autobot on his knees before him—

Starscream continued to be silent. Optimus grabbed ahold of his shoulder and gently steered him away from the room of drones.

"If violence isn't the answer…" Starscream asked softly, so softly. "Then what _is _?"

"Peace. That is why we are fighting this war, Starscream. For peace."

* * *

Starscream leaned heavily against a wall and slowly slid to the floor. Optimus stood beside him and just stared off into the endless darkness of the shadowy halls.

The Prime's frame was frozen, but his field was not. It roiled and heaved around his red and blue frames in large waves that radiated pure uncertainty and concern.

The air hung stiff and dead around them. If there were some kind of airflow, some kind of little breeze, then Starscream could detect it and guide them to the exit. Yet there was no fresh airflow, no hidden exit to find—just dead stiff air that hung around them like a smothering blanket mixed with the smell of spilt energon.

When he offlined his optics he still saw the image of the dozen or so drones standing there with their backs to him.

"They will come back," Starscream sighed.

"Yes," Optimus said stiffly. Even the Prime seemed to be getting worn down by the endless dark hallways and the endless patrols that constantly marched through them.

He was reminded of the Nemesis all of a sudden. The old ship they were trapped in was an Autobot ship and looked nothing like the Decepticon warship, yet it _felt _the same. That sense of oppressive dread and the constant fear of failure was a sense of dread Starscream was very familiar with.

The air began to buzz.

Optimus and Starscream stiffened and slowly looked behind them into a side hallway. A faint violet glow shone from the other end.

"Oh, Primus," Starscream breathed. A sense of sheer dread and resignation filled his struts as he shakily rose to his pedes and let his wings fall behind him. He wasn't a religious mech who believed in the supernatural—but he definitely believed in and feared the supernatural force that was Soundwave.

Optimus's engine growled as his battlemask snapped shut around his faceplate yet again. "You do not seem to be angered by Soundwave's return, Starscream. I am surprised."

The buzzing grew louder.

"I got used to it. I _had _to get used to this." Starscream sighed as the dead ship's emergency lighting switched on again and flooded the hall with red light.

Optimus looked at him and his bright blue optics pierced the blood-red emergency glow of the hall. "No one should _ever _have to get used to this."

They both stood there in the doorway as the air began to buzz louder and louder. Optimus stepped forward into the main hall and pushed Starscream behind him and back into a side hall.

"We will fight him together this time," Optimus said as Starscream took a step back into the side hall. Optimus walked forward and away from Starscream as the Seeker watched warily from the side hall's doorway.

The air buzzed even louder—

—Suddenly a massive metal door slid shut between Starscream and Optimus.

One moment Starscream was peering past Optimus's shoulder, and the next thing he knew he was staring at a metal slab.

"Optimus?!" Starscream shouted as he banged a fist on the metal door. It was just him alone in the hall.

Everything was perfectly silent. The Prime had just completely vanished. Starscream just stood there with his jaw dropped as he stared at the door that divided them.

The air began to buzz again. Something purple lit up behind him.

Starscream whirled around and came faceplate-to-faceplate with Soundwave's blank visor. He yelped and slammed backward into the metal door as he stared at his own terrified expression reflected in Soundwave's visor.

"Oh, no! No, no no no! Soundwave, I am beginning to get _very _tired of this—"

Two drones who stood beside Soundwave lifted up their blasters and pointed them directly at Starscream's chestplate. Soundwave cocked his helm.

"Don't look at me like that!" Starscream panickedly breathed out as his processor whirred into overdrive. He could fight the drones, maybe, but Soundwave himself—? No, he could wait for Optimus, but the Prime was lost to him and locked away in the Primus forsaken corridor.

_"Oh, Starscream. My dear Starscream," _a recording of Megatron's voice began to say. Starscream knew that tone. That was the way Megatron spoke to him whenever he was about to say something kind to him so that he could manipulate him.

"Don't say my designation. _Don't! _" Starscream hissed. "What's your plan here? What, is this Megatron's newest scheme unfolding before me, is that it? What's his goal here?"

"GETTING THE PRIME—TO THE COMMAND DECK."

A chill went through Starscream. He looked closer at Soundwave and saw just how tightly he was holding himself.

"You're… you're holding yourself back, aren't you? I know what sick twisted plan this is, and I know why you won't just capture me here and now. Megatron just wants Optimus to get disgusted with what I did on the command deck here a thousand years ago so that the Prime will just drop me off on the Nemesis himself. But I won't let that happen! I'm not, I'm not some _dog _you just use and kick around!"

Soundwave tilted his helm and played a voice clip of Megatron. _"Your rage is a weapon, Starscream! Use it!" _

"No," Starscream gritted out. He was distantly aware of the sound of hacking and banging coming from the door. "I won't let him use me any longer. You're just here to make me panic."

The two drones charged up their blasters.

Starscream flinched as the air began to heat up with the glow of their charging weapons. "You're not going to shoot me."

_"Why sit here in the rubble and let our anger consume us when we can instead _use _our anger?" _the recording said.

The drones began to step forward. The barrels of their blasters shone like red-hot suns in the pitch-black darkness.

"You're not going to kill me. You're_ not. _Megatron wants me alive. You—you're just trying to manipulate me the same way _he _did!"

_"Choose, Starscream. Your rage is a weapon. Wield it. They say you are only good for destruction—" _

Starscream swung his leg out and caved in the helm of one of the drones with a swift kick. Soundwave remained motionless and completely ignored the dead drone as it fell on his pedes. Surprise suddenly burst into the other drone's EM field and for a single moment, his blaster wavered.

A single moment was all Starscream needed. He lunged forward and grabbed ahold of the drone's shoulders as he flipped the both of them around. He slammed the drone onto the ground and pinned him down with his frame, his red optics bright with rage and his wings flared out aggressively.

The drone's field suddenly flared out again with a familiar emotion—

_"The Autobots...they say you are only good for destruction—" _Soundwave monotoned.

It was a strange, but familiar emotion, one he had personally felt so many times himself—

Starscream lifted one of his talons and prepared to rip the drone's neck cabling out—

_"—So prove them _right. _" _

His talons froze inches above the shaking drone's neck cabling.

Fear.

That was it. The drone's field was shuddering with fear.

Starscream blinked. The hall was dark and dimly lit and for a moment he saw an Enforcer pinned beneath him. He blinked again and the illusion faded away. The drone just laid there on the ground, his visor blindingly bright with fear as he shook under Starscream's frame.

The drone was young. His frametype was slightly different from the one Starscream was used to. This drone was from a newer, younger generation.

Soundwave looked down at him. _"So prove them _right! _" _he repeated the recording, except this time Megatron's voice was harsher and more staticky.

Starscream looked into the visor of the shaking drone below him and dropped his talon to his side. He looked up at Soundwave's blank faceplate.

"No. I'm going to prove you _wrong, _" he said as he got up off the drone and stepped back.

Soundwave just stared at him. The drone shot to his pedes and spared the Seeker a glance before he suddenly ran off back into the shadows.

At any moment now, Soundwave would lash out. He knew it. He'd come at him, his visor bright with light, his cables extended and ready to snatch him—

Soundwave turned around and walked back into the hallway.

Starscream watched him walk away until his frame was nothing but a purple slender shape at the end of the corridor. He walked around a corner and vanished completely.

He just stood there as his frame shook slightly and as his vents whirred loudly. That was so close. Too close.

A large servo suddenly grabbed ahold of Starscream's arm and pulled Starscream away and into the corridor. His entire frame froze and he unsheathed his talons, ready to slash at whoever had grabbed him—

His faceplate was pressed up against a windshield and a massive pair of arms wrapped around him.

"Starscream," Optimus said as he pulled him closer.

His spark stopped pulsing in his chestplate and he leaned back to see Optimus's concerned faceplate. "What? Did you think I wouldn't be able to handle myself?" he scoffed as he tried to ignore the sense of relief that Optimus's smile brought him.

"No, Starscream. I am proud of you."

"Pfff, of course you should be proud. I am great, after all," Starscream shakily breathed out. Some part of him wanted to wrench himself free from Optimus's arms, and another part of him just wanted to stay there with the Prime for a few more minutes. Or hours.

"You spared him. I am glad you did so, I am unsure if you would have been able to handle the fight or if I could have reached you in time—"

Starscream leaned back. "Wait, how do you know what happened? Soundwave locked you up in that side hall."

"He did, yes, but I managed to transformed my servo into a sword and hack through the door as you were busy fighting. I was able to see you."

"Oh… you saw… everything, didn't you?" Starscream said as he felt that same sense of familiar dread suddenly spread through his struts again.

"Yes," Optimus said as he pulled Starscream back and grabbed ahold of his shoulders so he could look the Seeker in the optics. "Starscream...I am concerned about what I heard you say."

Starscream froze. "Oh? And what did I say?"

"...What role does the command deck play in Soundwave's scheme?"

* * *

_"Sometimes I can't get to recharge at night because I'm too busy wondering about how he… how he died," _Bumblebee warbled.

Bulkhead patted the scout's shoulder. "I gotta admit, I'm curious about how that slagger did Cliff in too. But I can't help but worry, it'll, you know…"

_"Enrage Arcee?" _

Bulkhead awkwardly scratched the back of his neck cabling. "Somethin' like that. I mean, whenever I see the guy, a part of me just wants to turn my servo into my wrecking ball and just—" Bulkhead smacked his fist into the palm of his servo, "—but another part of me just… just remembers the way he reacted when we encountered Buckethead back in the mine, and I just… can't go through with it."

_"It's been a very long time since I've seen a bot get that scared. I don't want to see anybody get that scared ever again, Bulk. And I think if Star found out that we know how he offlined Cliffjumper, then…" _

"He'd go berserk? Probably."

_"I mean, what does watching the footage achieve? We already know about the crime and… what specifically happened to his deactivated frame. Do we really need to know about how he got into that state?" _Bumblebee beeped.

"I mean, no, not really, but…"

"Are you hooligans fooling around with the comm towers again?!" Ratchet scowled at them as he came running into the hall.

Bulkhead gulped. "Uh, no, that happened last week. How was I supposed to know that I threw my lugball at a comm tower—?"

"Because I can't contact Optimus!" Ratchet said as he ran away and back into the main room. Bumblebee and Bulkhead glanced at each other before they ran after him.

"I've tried everything! Optimus and Starscream were supposed to return hours ago, and yet all I've got is silence. I've checked every frequency, every channel—"

_"Did you check the Decepticon frequency?" _Bumblebee beeped warily.

Ratchet shut his intake shut. "...No. But maybe I should."

"What, you don't think Scream snatched up Prime and hauled him back to Buckethead, do you?" Bulkhead asked.

"I think that _Megatron _'snatched up' Prime, that's what I think! Besides… I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't think Starscream will betray Optimus. Well, not yet, at least." Ratchet scowled.

"What?! Why would the slagger wait to stab us in the back?" Bulkhead said as shock filled his field.

"I know… but after seeing what Megatron did to his frame, after seeing his spark—" Ratchet shut his intake. He shouldn't have said anything, that was private information. He couldn't let the stress of the dead comm get to him, not again.

_"There's something wrong with Starscream's spark? What?!" _Bumblebee trilled in alarm.

"What's going on?" Arcee asked as she walked into the main room.

"The comms are dead, so now Ratchet thinks everybody's dead too!" Bulkhead said as he waved his servos in the air.

"What? I knew Starscream was planning something, that slagger!"

"Hup hup hup, calm your engines, it's possibly just a comm malfunction. Nothing less, nothing more," Ratchet sighed as he scrolled through the frequencies.

Arcee scoffed. "What? A 'comm malfunction'? I remember the _last _time a comm malfunctioned. Do you remember, Ratchet? Because I very distinctly remember Cliffjumper's comm 'malfunctioning' before—"

"We. Are not. Watching. _The recording! _" Ratchet practically shouted. "Not until Optimus gives us his approval."

"But Optimus might never give us his approval if Starscream offlines him!" Arcee scowled.

_"Maybe we should just check on them! Bridge me in and I'll see what's wrong, okay? I'll scout out the area. Maybe they just got stuck in another cave-in." _

"Oh Primus, or maybe… maybe Optimus's _helm _got caved-in by Screamer!" Bulkhead growled.

_"Bulkhead, no!" _

Ratchet shook his helm. "No… perhaps you're right. Bumblebee, I'm sending you in."

Ratchet reached over to the lever and prepared to activate the groundbridge—

_"Scream… it's been a while," _Cliffjumper said.

Ratchet blinked. "Did I just hear Cliffjumper's voice?"

All of the Autobots glanced at one another and then slowly turned around to face the computer console. The screen flickered and the image of Starscream proudly standing over Cliffjumper flashed onto the screen.

Bulkhead's jaw dropped. "What?! Who played the recording, I thought we agreed to wait for Optimus?"

Ratchet shook his helm and stared at the screen with wide optics. "I did not press anything! And none of you even touched the computer… so how—?"

_"So… where's your Master?" _Cliffjumper continued. The Autobots all stood transfixed around the screen and watched on with wide optics.

* * *

"The… command deck?" Starscream shakily breathed out. He tried to think of some explanation, some kind of lie—

—But he just couldn't bring himself to lie to those blue optics.

Something banged off in the distance. Their helms snapped around and they both stared off into the shadows as the deafening clanging noise of dozens of pedes came pounding down the hall.

This wasn't an ordinary patrol of drones on its way to them.

Optimus and Starscream both looked at each other as all the doors along the corridor whirred open and drones poured out.

Optimus shoved Starscream behind him yet again, his battlemask snapped shut again, and he pointed his blaster at the approaching horde of drones _again— _

It was happening all over again and Starscream could not, _would not _let that happen.

Droplets of energon went flying through the air as Optimus's blaster wildly fired away at the approaching horde. Starscream stood frozen in the center of the hall as he stared off into the dark shadows of one of the side halls.

There was nowhere to hide. All of the side rooms and side halls were either filled with drones or shut tight… except for one side hall in particular—

Optimus's sword flashed and reflected the blood-red glow of the emergency lights and the bright blue glow of the drone's energon as he slashed through them.

That side hallway was familiar to Starscream for some reason—

Prime stepped over the fallen body of the drone Starscream killed earlier and he continued to fight for their lives.

Yes, that was the side hallway that led to the command deck, the one place Starscream did _not _want to go to—

Optimus grunted in pain as a stray blaster bolt sizzled past his thigh.

But it was the one place they _needed _to go to.

The entire hall lit up with blinding flashes of bright blue and red as the alarms blared and the sheer force of their fight made the entire ship creak and groan unsteadily all around them.

All of the other doors in the corridor were shut. One end of the corridor was blocked off by the horde of drones Optimus was trying to fight off, and the other end of the corridor led off into pitch black darkness.

A weak sob shook Starscream's frame. He'd tried to hard to ensure they stayed away from this one spot—

Optimus cut a drone's helm off with his blade—

And they'd ended up going in a _circle, _right back to where they began.

He could grab Optimus's arm and they could flee, back into the dark depths of the ship. Back into the endless maze of dark tunnels and drone patrols and paranoia and fear until they circled around right back to this same spot. And when they did reach this place, Starscream had no idea if he'd be able to convince Prime to stay away from the command deck again. How long would it be until the Prime forced his way through those doors and saw the carnage Starscream had created a thousand years ago on the other side? How long would it be before _Optimus realized just how monstrous Starscream was and just left him alone in the gloom of the ship for Soundwave to find and bring to Megatron— _

Optimus screamed in pain.

Starscream's helm whipped around and he turned around just in time to watch Optimus fall to the ground. Soundwave stood above Optimus's prone frame. His violet blaster was extended out and a wisp of hot violet smoke curled away from the barrel.

He felt his spark freeze in his chestplates. This couldn't be happening, it _couldn't— _

Soundwave just continued to stare right at Starscream.

"W-well? Are you going to kill us?"

Soundwave tilted his helm and made a deep thrumming noise. His visor flared violet.

"NO. NOT YET. HE MUST—SEE."

Starscream felt a deep sense of dread prickle through his entire frame. He knew the answer to the question he was about to ask, but he had to ask it, had to know for absolute certain why Soundwave chose to spare their lives in that moment.

"See _what? _" Starscream choked out.

Soundwave said nothing. His arm suddenly lifted up and he pointed a single slender servo right at the hall to the command deck.

Starscream offlined his optics. He knew what he had to do. He just didn't know if he was ready to let the Autobots know the depth of his evil and just what kind of carnage he had left behind there—

_"The Autobots say you are only good for destruction…" _Megatron's voice echoed into his helm.

_"—So prove them right _. _" _

Starscream ran forward and grabbed ahold of Optimus's frame. He hoisted the shaking and bleeding Prime onto his shoulder and heaved himself up onto his energon-splattered pedes. Soundwave did nothing at all except just stand there and watch Starscream drag the Prime down into the depths of the side hall, all the way down to the command deck.

Soundwave's bright purple faceplate and the angular blood-red glow of the visors stared at Starscream as he heaved his exhausted frame and Optimus's frame up to the command deck doors.

Optimus stirred beside him and Starscream slung one of his massive red arms over his energon-soaked pauldrons. His blue optics slowly turned back on and widened when he saw Starscream staring at him.

"Starscream… are you… is that coolant?" Optimus wheezed.

Starscream blinked and touched one of his servos to his faceplate. It came back wet.

He growled and slammed a fist onto the door to the command deck. He didn't have time for this, he had to get the two of them inside and safe amongst the carnage _he created— _

"Promise me… promise me you won't think of me differently because of what's on the other side," Starscream choked out.

Optimus just stared at him. He gave Starscream a single slow nod. Starscream tightened his grip around Optimus, put a single servo on the doors, and looked at Optimus one last time right before they entered the deck. Once they went through those doors, Optimus would be disgusted and repulsed with Starscream after seeing the slaughter the Seeker left there. There was no way at all that the Prime would want to continue to be friends with him after this.

Starscream took a single shuddering vent, took one last look at his only friend, and threw open the doors to the room that he knew would destroy their friendship.

He grunted as he pulled Optimus into the pitch-black room and he kicked out with a pede to shut the two doors. Soundwave stared at him as the doors shut.

They slammed shut with a deep _clang _that boomed through the entire room.

Starscream rested his forehelm on the cold metal surface of the door. Death awaited them outside in the hall. But even more death waited behind them. The bright blood-red emergency lights flickered on. Optimus just looked at Starscream, his frame covered in energon and his optics wide, and he slowly turned around.

Even after a thousand years all of the destruction was still there. All of the results of his revenge were scattered across the entire bridge. The frames of the Enforcers, the scorch marks his blaster had left behind on the walls—all of the evidence of Starscream's crimes were still there and perfectly intact after a thousand years.

The computer consoles lit up and footage of Starscream slaughtering the Enforcers played out on the screen. Starscream shakily stepped back and looked up at all of the screens with wide optics. Every single screen was lit up and every single one played footage of him committing some crime.

Optimus's optics widened and his field coiled around him in horror at the sight of the carnage before him. Familiar slash marks littered the Enforcer's fallen frames. One screen showed footage of Starscream doing a bombing raid, another screen showed him interrogating a prisoner, a screen off to the side showed him burning a city, and so much more.

"Optimus…" Starscream shakily breathed out as he looked up at all of the footage of all of his crimes.

The Prime looked at him and then fell to his knees. He just sat there and looked up at all of the screens, his optics wide and his frame covered in his own energon and the Enforcer's energon. Starscream looked at the shocked Prime and tried to think of something, anything to say—

Optimus just looked at him. His field hung hard and stiff around him and radiated feelings of shock and hurt and—_ betrayal. _

Starscream flinched back. He didn't know what to say to that. There was nothing he _could _say to that.

_"So… where's your Master?" _Cliffjumper's voice said.

Starscream froze.

_"Never mind him! I am my own Master!" _the voice of Starscream's past self yelled at Cliffjumper.

He slowly turned around and felt a sense of overwhelming dread flood his struts as he looked up at the largest screen of all.

An image of Starscream and Cliffjumper was playing on the massive computer screen on the back wall. He stood over Cliffjumper's kneeling frame with a cruel smile and with his outstretched talons glinting in the Nemesis's harsh light. Cliffjumper knelt there before him. His frame was scratched and bleeding, but his optics still shone with confident light.

That light was about to go out.

The image of Starscream's past-self snarled at the Autobot and drew back his talons—

_"No!" _Starscream screeched. He jumped up onto the keyboard of the computer console and swung his leg at the screen in a massive kick. The glass of the screen shattered in a glittering storm of sharp fragments. Starscream stood upon the computer console while he vented heavily. His entire frame had hundreds of tiny scratches on it and fragments of glass coated his frame.

Optimus watched him with wide shocked optics. He held a shaking servo to the bleeding wound on his midsection and watched Starscream in complete silence.

_"So… where's your Master?" _Cliffjumper's voice said.

Starscream snarled and whirled around. Another screen that had previously been playing footage of Starscream interrogating a prisoner was now showing footage of him interrogating Cliffjumper. Hot panic coiled around his spark.

"No, no, _no! _" Starscream shrieked as he jumped off the computer console and ran right up the second screen. He unsheathed his talons and drew them across the surface of the screen. The sharp piercing noise of his talons shattering and slicing through the glass rang out onto the command deck and the screen lit up with bright flashes and sparks of light as Starscream shredded it.

The footage of Cliffjumper's arrogant faceplate flickered and disappeared.

He just stood there and leaned his forehelm against the dead screen as his energon began to trickle out from all of the cuts of glass that littered his frame.

"Starscream…" Optimus began to say as he struggled to rise to his pedes.

_"So… where's your Master?" _

Starscream let out an incoherent shriek and leaped off of the computer to yet another screen. He clenched both of his talons into fists and pounded them both against the screen. The image of Cliffjumper's smug faceplate flickered and wavered before it disappeared entirely.

_"So… where's your Master?" _Cliffjumper's voice said again.

Starscream's optics twitched and he turned around again. Another screen on the side of the room was playing the exact same footage of him killing Cliffjumper, except this time the picture was just inverted and _wrong. _The image of Starscream's past self stood on the Nemesis. Pictures of Megatron rapidly flickered on and off the screen until Starscream wasn't sure if he was looking at a picture of Megatron or his past self.

"Starscream, _calm down _," Optimus said weakly as his field flickered with pain.

_"So… where's your Master?" _Cliffjumper's voice said yet again. A screen off to the right was now playing the footage.

_"So… where's your Master?" _A screen off to the left turned on and began to play the footage.

A screen on a nearby datapad lit up with an image of Cliffjumper. _"So… where's your Master?" _

_"So… where's your Master?" _

_"So… where's your Master?" _

_"So… where's your Master?" _

_"So… where's your Master?" _

Starscream just stood there and silently cried as every single screen all around them began to turn on and play the footage of Cliffjumper's death.

"I am my _own Master! _" Starscream shouted at all of the screens as they all lit up with the image of Cliffjumper all at once.

"Starscream!" Optimus said. His shaking servo reached out and he grabbed ahold of Starscream's arm. He pulled the Seeker closer to him and he shoved Starscream's frame against his own.

"Prime, let me _go—" _

_"No." _

"Optimus!"

"I won't let you go until you agree not to hurt yourself."

Even when he was bleeding out, the Prime was still ridiculously strong. He held Starscream so tightly against his own bleeding frame that the only thing Starscream could see was the bright red of Optimus's armor and nothing else. Optimus's engines rumbled deeply and Starscream felt every rumble vibrate through his glass-covered frame.

_"Never mind him! I am my—!" _

A deep booming noise suddenly burst out into the air. Starscream's past self never got to finish his boast.

Starscream tried to lift his helm to look at whatever in the name of Primus made that booming noise. Optimus's battlemask was retracted over his faceplate and smoke curled away from his blaster. He tightened his hold on Starscream with one arm and pointed the smoking barrel of his blaster right at another screen. A whisp of smoke curled out from Optimus's hot blue barrel and his stern optics scanned the room from above his battlemask. He briefly looked down and looked Starscream right in the optics.

Starscream froze.

Optimus looked away and went back to shooting the screens. Starscream threw his arms over his helm as Optimus fired away at every single screen and destroyed every single one.

A screen that was playing footage of Starscream standing haughtily over Cliffjumper—

—got vaporized.

A screen that was playing footage of him demanding that the Autobot's corpse be taken away—

—exploded in a shower of glass.

A screen that was playing footage of him grinning in delight as he watched Cliffjumper's optics dim—

—blew up in a fiery ball of hot metal and plastic.

The entire command deck lit up over and over again with the bright blinding blue flashes of Optimus's blaster and the entire deck shook and rang with the deep boom each of his blaster bolts sent reverberating across the entire ship.

Soon, none of the screens remained. The torn and vaporized remains of computer screens hung loosely from the wall and deep black scorch marks completely covered every part of the room where there had once been a screen. Clouds of smoke hung thick and heavy in the air and completely obscured Starscream's vision—the only thing he could see through the dark cloud of smoke was Optimus's two brilliant blue optics shining amongst the shadowy gloom. Optimus leaned down and knelt before Starscream's shaking frame until they were faceplate-to-faceplate and the only thing Starscream could see was the bright blue glow of his optics.

"So... you finally came clean," Optimus said.

Starscream froze. He opened his intake and no words came out.

Optimus let out a deep shaking sigh and sat down in the ash beside him. "Y-you tried to hide this from me… but I already knew this was here."

"W-what? You… already _knew _?" Starscream gaped.

Optimus nodded solemnly and looked out across all of the frames of the Enforcers.

"I don't…" Starscream stuttered. "You led us here while knowing what kind of carnage I'd left behind?"

Optimus gave a single nod. He winced and held a servo to his bleeding blaster wound.

"But… _why? _" Starscream shook out.

Optimus opened his intake to respond, but then suddenly froze. His optics widened and he looked past Starscream at something behind him.

_"So… where's your Master?" _

Starscream froze. They had destroyed all of the screens, they _had, _he'd watched every single one of them go up in smoke and glass and dust—

A single small screen up in the rafters played the footage of Cliffjumper's death.

It flared violet.

Soundwave's entire frame lit up with bright purple lights and his cables slowly and sinuously extended out from his frame. He hung there in the rafters and his visor reflected Starscream's terrified faceplate as he climbed through the ceiling beams. He hung there right above their helms and just watched them both. The footage of Cliffjumper's death continued to play on his visor.

"Starscream…" Optimus said weakly.

Starscream said nothing. He continued to stare at Soundwave in horror.

"It's _here, _" Optimus said.

"I see that, Prime!" Starscream snapped.

"N-no, Starscream," Optimus began to say as he grabbed Starscream's arms and pulled the Seeker close to him again. He grabbed ahold of Starscream's helm and gently tilted it upward to look at something else in the shadows.

A thin ray of light shone out from a crack in the wall.

Starscream's spark soared and his optics widened. If Optimus could fire his blaster right at the crack and widen it, then maybe he could pull their frames through.

"NO ESCAPE," Soundwave's harsh robotic voice boomed out.

He hung down from the rafters and glided his way over to Optimus and Starscream until he was practically hovering right above their helms.

"NO. ESCAPE," he repeated.

Starscream took a deep vent and quickly glanced at Optimus. The Prime nodded and slowly turned his blaster to point in the direction of the crack in the wall.

"SO… WHERE'S YOUR MASTER?" Soundwave said using Cliffjumper's voice.

The crack in the wall creaked and widened. A single silver blade shoved its way through the gap and wrenched it apart. Starscream and Optimus froze and watched as something hacked its way into the command deck from outside.

The sound of a cannon firing up boomed through the crack.

"Optimus, _duck!_" Starscream shrieked as he shoved the Prime's frame down to the ground and threw himself atop him.

A hot violet bolt of pure energy slammed through the air and flew right above their helms before it collided with a computer console on the other end of the room in an explosion.

The entire wall exploded in a shower of dust and smoke that sent fragments of metal and debris flying everywhere.

"Your Master is right here, Starscream!" Megatron growled as he emerged from the new hole in the wall.

* * *

_"We… we shouldn't be watching this!" _Bumblebee trilled. He lifted a shaky servo to the computer console and paused the footage. His digit hovered right over the stop button.

_"We don't need to be seeing this. We already know how he died and what happened to him. Watching this will only bring about more pain. I'm going to stop the footage—" _

"No!" Arcee grit out. Her servo lashed forward and she tightly grabbed ahold of Bumblebee's wrist. "We… we need to see."

_"No, Arcee," _Bumblebee blooped as his field filled with sadness. _" _You _need to see. Not us." _

Arcee growled at Bumblebee and moved his hand away from the computer console as she blocked the keyboard with her own frame. "No! We know that Starscream killed him, we know what Starscream d-did to his corpse, but we need to see what his last moments were! What was the last thing he saw? What were his last words? I need to know!"

"No, you don't! Wait for Optimus!" Ratchet scowled as he slammed a fist down onto the keyboard.

"Did you see him?! Did you see the way his lifeless and scarred optics stared emptily out at me?" Arcee snarled.

Ratchet's field grew cold and hard around him. "Arcee… we are _all _grieving for his death. You are not in this alone! You've trusted Optimus to lead us through tough situations before, so by Primus, why can't you wait for him to lead us through this?"

"Because I know what he'll say, Ratchet. We _all _know what he'll say! He'll just tell us that watching the footage will achieve nothing and just make us angry and…"

_"Your anger is a weapon. Use it, Autobots!" _Megatron's voice laughed.

They all turned around and stared at the screen. The computer console flickered and a picture of the Decepticon logo briefly flashed onto the screen.

"Oh, Primus, the datapacket. We should've never downloaded it onto the computer, it's given the Decepticons a way to hijack our systems. I need to purge the computer!" Ratchet scowled as Megatron's laughter began to echo out of the computer and boom into the base.

_"Your anger is a weapon. Use it, Autobots!" _

_"Shut off that recording, please!" _Bumblebee beeped in desperation.

The screen flickered and Cliffjumper's scarred and energon-covered faceplate covered the screen again. Bulkhead growled and transformed one of his servos into a wrecking ball and ran towards the screen at full speed.

"No, Bulkhead, no! We need the computer intact so we can use it to reactivate the groundbridge! We can't lose Optimus and Starscream!"

"But if we don't destroy it, then we will have no choice but to see how he died…" Arcee grit out. She looked up again and her optics flashed. "I see no problem at all with watching the recording. Let's see just how awful Starscream really is."

The recording glitched and replayed itself.

_"So… where's your Master?" _Cliffjumper said. Arcee froze.

The image of Starscream's past self snarled and stomped forward until he loomed over Cliffjumper's kneeling frame. He flexed his talons and a bright and feral glint entered his optics.

_"Never mind him! I am my own Master!" _

Starscream snarled and drew back his arms. For a split second Arcee felt doubt. She wondered if she should be watching this, if she should just turn around and walk back into the base and forget about all of this—

Starscream shoved his talons deep into Cliffjumper's chestplate and left behind a gaping puncture wound. Cliffjumper's optics widened and flashed as his entire frame shuddered. Energon poured out from his chestplate, Starscream smiled, and Cliffjumper fell dead.

—Arcee's doubt was replaced with _rage _.

"He killed him the same way you would kill a scraplet!" she snarled. "Where is he? Why has he not come back yet? Let him come back so I can, so I can—"

Bulkhead held her away from the groundbridge and dragged the thrashing femme away from the controls. Bumblebee just stared at the screen with wide optics, Ratchet made a choking noise, and Bulkhead went silent.

The four of them just stood there and stared at the screen as Cliffjumper's corpse was dragged away like garbage.

"Autobots…" Ratchet grit out. He leaned heavily against the computer console and held his field tight to his frame as it shuddered with waves of grief. "We will send Bumblebee to scout the ship. We will find Optimus. And we will make Starscream answer for his crimes."

Bumblebee nodded slowly and watched Ratchet activate the groundbridge with wide optics. He stood upon the threshold of the bridge and glanced back. Raw hurt and grief mingled in his field as he stared at his friends. He stepped through the bridge.

The harsh light of the setting sun pierced his optics as he stepped into the woods. The massive ship Optimus and Starscream had been sent to scout loomed before him and glinted in the dusky light. It looked innocuous enough from the outside, yet Bumblebee could tell something was wrong with this place.

He warily stepped forward and felt his sense of dread grow with each step. There were no visible exits, entrances, or openings of any kind. All of the doors were sealed tightly shut. The sense of dread grew and for a moment he considered comming his team, but then stopped. The only sound he could hear over the comms was the hiss of static. Yet they were listening, though. He knew his teammates were listening in so that they could protect him if Starscream came lunging at him.

He walked in a perimeter around the ship. His pede suddenly slipped into a hole and Bumblebee froze. A dark imprint in the shape of a drone's pede was imprinted into the dirt. A whole trail of dozens of pedeprints stretched away from him and bent out of sight beyond the rusted hull of the ship.

_"Oh no, oh Primus, no…" _Bumblebee trilled. He broke into a run and sprinted around the side of the ship along the same path the drones had taken.

_"What's wrong? Is Optimus…?" _Ratchet breathed heavily over the comm.

_"No, no… there were just drones here. So many drones…" _

Bumblebee didn't need to be in the base to know that all of his comrades just tensed up.

A sharp hacking and slashing noise accentuated with grunts of effort rang around the curve of the ship. Bumblebee slid to a stop and peeked his helm out from the side of the ship as his optics widened. Megatron stood there and viciously hacked away at the ship's walls in massive swinging arches. His massive field loomed over the forest like a hot staticky cloud while radiating feelings of pure rage, betrayal and—

—Was that _grief? _

Megatron had enough of the wall. He stood backwards and smiled cruelly as he activated his fusion cannon. Bumblebee ducked out of sight just as a blinding violet flash lit up the woods and a deep thrumming noise boomed into the air.

_"Optimus and Starscream are trapped in the ship and Megatron is about to close in on them, I need backup now!" _Bumblebee trilled into his comm as panic began to fill his field.

_"We weren't able to save Cliffjumper, but by Primus, we will save Optimus!" _Ratchet said over the comms. A groundbridge suddenly burst to life right behind him and Arcee and Bulkhead jumped right out of it, their blasters drawn and their fields sharp with determination and grief.

They walked over to the belching cloud of smoke and peered through the hull into the dark chasm of the ship's command deck.

* * *

Starscream felt his spark stop in its chamber. Optimus's field radiated pure dread as Megatron laughed and began to stomp toward them. His talons twitched as his sides and his feral optics glowed a bright blood-red light in the darkness of the command deck.

_Think, Starscream, think! _Starscream moaned as he held his processor in his servos.

"Megatron…" Optimus said as he tried to rise to his pedes. He grunted in pain and fell back to his knees as he hurriedly placed his servo back over his bleeding wound.

"Oh, Prime, you have no idea how long I have awaited this moment!"

_Think, think, think! _

"I had hoped I would never see the likes of you again, Megatron."

"You should have stayed beside me, Optimus. You _both _should have. It did not have to come to this, dear broth—I mean, Prime. You brought this upon yourself. Do not make me angry!"

Starscream flinched and sat down as he struggled to come up with a way to escape. Something shifted around loosely underneath his cockpit and he froze. He slowly reached a single servo beneath his chest plating and felt the handle of the old groundbridge remote slide into his talon.

Megatron and Optimus were too busy fighting with each other. If he just pulled out the groundbridge remote and quickly typed in a set of coordinates—

Soundwave rested his servo atop Starscream's pauldron. He froze and looked up into Soundwave's blank and expressionless visor.

"You dare choose _him _over _me? _" Megatron's optics twitched. Optimus couldn't tell if he was scolding Starscream for befriending Optimus, or Optimus for befriending Starscream.

Soundwave's cables extended around Starscream's wings and gently dragged the Seeker over to him until all Starscream could see was his own tear-stained faceplate reflected in Soundwave's visor.

"THE BASE. WHERE IS THE BASE?" Soundwave spoke using a recording of Starscream's own voice.

"As if there was a choice, Megatron. Your hateful and cruel actions gave _me _no choice—" Optimus began to say.

"I don't… I don't know." Starscream shook out. He genuinely didn't know, he had absolutely no idea where the Autobot base was located—for once, he was grateful for the Autobot's mistrust of him. There was no way Starscream could possibly bridge the Prime and him back to the base, but he could bridge them somewhere else that was safe.

Soundwave seemed to sense that he was telling the truth and leaned in even further. There was something off about the communications director, something… angry.

"Get away from Optimus!" Arcee shouted.

The four of them looked up and into the hole in the ship that Megatron had created. Arcee, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee all stared through the hole and down at them.

Starscream's spark dropped. They had just walked in on the sight of him kneeling over Optimus's shaking and bleeding frame as Megatron and Soundwave stood proudly over them.

The command deck doors slammed open and dozens of drones rushed into the room.

"No, no, Autobots, it's not what it looks like—!" Starscream begged.

Arcee cut him off. "This looks like _betrayal. _"

"I did not betray you!" Starscream shook out as he pulled Optimus closer to him.

"Then what are we looking at here, Screamer?" Bulkhead growled as he transformed his servo into a wrecking ball.

"Oh my, Starscream!" Megatron laughed. It was not a happy noise. "It seems that your new comrades and you do not get along. Are you not an Autuobot, then? What are you now?"

"TRAITOR," Soundwave monotoned.

The Autobots rushed forward and the drones rushed forward to meet them. The entire ship creaked and ground as the drones and Autobots began to fight, slash, and fire at one another in their haste to reach their fallen leader.

Megatron watched them and laughed as the bright red and blue glow of their flashing blasters lit up the entire bridge over and over again in harsh light. Starscream hooked his servos around Optimus's shoulders and tried to drag the Prime over and away from the firefight. He yelped as a heavy servo suddenly landed upon his shoulder and lifted him up.

Megatron yanked Starscream up and into the air by his pauldron until his legs dangled loosely beneath him. The tips of his talons dug deeply into the metal of his pauldron and energon began to bleed from the puncture wounds.

Starscream was yanked even closer until soon his faceplate was only a breath away from Megatron's. The warlord just stared him, his faceplate expressionless as the battle raged on around them both.

Then he smiled.

A large smile stretched from one end of his faceplate to the other and every single one of his sharp fangs glinted harshly in the blood-red glow of his optics.

"I once called you _brother, _" Megatron said softly, oh so softly.

Starscream just hung there as panic consumed his spark. The urge to say _my lord _suddenly rose up within him. He could defect, he'd done it before, he could yield and submit to Megatron and end this hunt—

Optimus groaned on the ground and looked up at the two of them. His optics widened and he weakly stretched an energon-covered servo up to Starscream.

Starscream grit his dentae. He would not say _my lord _or any variation of the word _Master _ever again, not ever, ever again. He bit down onto his glossa to keep himself from calling Megatron _my Lord _and he felt blood well up in his intake.

"W-we were never b-brothers, _Megatron. _Not now, not ever!" Starscream snarled in Megatron's faceplate as coolant fell down his ash-covered faceplate.

"You chose _him _over _me. _After everything I did for you? After everything I did to _help _you?" Megatron growled. He tightened his grip and the metal of Starscream's shoulder crumpled under his grasp.

Starscream opened his intake. He wanted to say something dramatic, some powerful and emotional speech about all of the ways he had been abused over the years, all of the ways in which that abuse was _wrong. _He wanted to pick the warlord apart and deliver a proud and dramatic speech, the kind that Optimus would give—

He snapped his intake shut. Starscream tried to open it again, tried to reactivate his vocalizer—and found that he couldn't. He couldn't even find it within himself to beg. Fear flooded every single one of his circuits and paralyzed his frame.

Megatron laughed and dropped him to the ground beside Optimus. Soundwave leaned in and a picture of Optimus helping Starscream stand up on a rugged hill suddenly flashed onto his visor.

"DO NOT FORGET YOUR SIN."

"Oh, Starscream. Soon we shall replace that picture with a new picture of you two together in a cell!" Megatron grinned.

Starscream crawled back over to Optimus and placed the exhausted Prime's helm onto his lap. Bolts of sizzling hot red and blue blasterfire seared through the air, Megatron loomed over him while laughing, and Soundwave was shoving the picture that represented the friendship between Starscream and Optimus right in Starscream's faceplate.

The friendship that he was about to lose.

Starscream took a deep vent and looked right at Soundwave's visor where he knew his optics were hidden.

Optimus had chosen to not leave Starscream behind at the snow mine. Now it was time for Starscream to repay him.

Starscream slammed his helm forward and right into Soundwave's visor. The glass of his visor shattered and he flinched backwards and away from Starscream as energon welled up from within the crack in the glass.

Megatron growled and lunged forward at Starscream, but the Seeker managed to roll away and escape Megatron's reaching servo. The warlord's talons scratched Starscream's wing and left behind four bleeding scratches. Starscream gasped in pain, but he couldn't slow down now, he had to move and _fast— _

Starscream grabbed ahold of Optimus's arm and reached his other servo under his cockpit. He whipped out the groundbridge remote as Megatron roared in rage behind him. His shaking digits hurriedly typed in the very first set of coordinates he could think of.

The air shimmered and warped as a single green spark lit up in the middle of the air.

_Please work! Please! _Starscream internally begged.

A massive green groundbridge lit up in the middle of the room and formed right in front of Starscream and Optimus. The bridge sent out a massive burst of wind that threw Megatron and Soundwave's frames back and into the shattered computer consoles. The Autobots and drones went flying into the back doors of the command deck and slid down to the floor. Starscream grabbed tightly ahold of Optimus's bleeding frame and dug his servos and talons into the floor as he tried to resist the blow of the wind.

"No, no, _no! _Soundwave—" Megatron growled. He turned around and his jaw dropped at the sight of shakily Soundwave kneeling on the ground with his visor smashed. The warlord slammed his fist into the floor and he charged right at Optimus and Starscream. His fusion cannon lit up with a brilliant violet glow and he ran forward with a massive roar.

Starscream shrieked and grabbed ahold of Optimus's arm. He slung the weak Prime's arm over his shoulder and shakily rose to his pedes with a grunt.

"Starscream, you _wretch, _I made you what you are, and this is what I get in return? You owe everything to me! _Traitor! _" Megatron shouted.

"Do not go _anywhere _with Optimus!" Arcee shrieked as she ran towards Starscream as well.

Starscream pulled Optimus over his shoulders, took one last look at Megatron and the Autobots, and then ran through the groundbridge.

"No, _no, _I will not be betrayed yet again!" Megatron yelled. He ran right at the groundbridge at full speed and unleashed a bolt of energy from his fusion cannon.

The groundbridge closed just as Megatron was about to run through it. He skid to a stop and watched the fusion bolt slam into the wall and bring it crumbling down in a massive explosion.

A blinding flash of light lit up the entire room and everybody froze. A large fire blazed on the other side of the room where Megatron's fusion bolt had hit the wall. Everybody just stared at the blank spot on the floor where the groundbridge had once been.

Silence fell.

Megatron stood there covered in dust and debris and Soundwave was blearily rising to his pedes behind him.

"What did you fraggers do to Prime?!" Bulkhead growled.

Megatron snarled. "The question is not what did I do to Prime, but what did _he _do to _me? _Where are they? Where did the _brothers _head off to?" He spat the word "brothers" out with so much acid it made the Autobots flinch.

_"Wait, did you not capture them?" _Bumblebee beeped.

"No, the wretched Seeker grabbed ahold of Prime and hauled him through a bridge to some unknown location. I would very much like to know where the beloved siblings escaped off to, scout! Do not make me rip out the vocalizers of your allies as well."

"Primus, that slagger took Prime!" Arcee breathed out. She snarled at Megatron. "I don't know where Starscream could've taken him."

"We've got warlord-shaped problems to worry about right now, 'Cee!" Bulkhead grumbled.

"Oh, now that is good!" Megatron laughed. "The Seeker truly has deceived you all. It pleases me to know that even when he's away from the Decepticons, he still acts like one. Who knows where he took your beloved Prime to? I do not know. But I _will. _I suppose it is just a question as to who will find them first. And when I _do _find them…" He clenched his servo into a fist and made his fusion cannon hum.

Soundwave shakily rose to his pedes. A large crack split his visor in half and the outline of a bright red eye was faintly visible through the cracked glass.

"Soundwave, use Starscream's tracking beacon. Find. Them."

Soundwave nodded and activated a groundbridge.

"I would love to tear your spark chambers out, Autobots, but there is Seeker whose spark chamber I want even more." Megatron turned around and walked right through the groundbridge alongside Soundwave.

The Autobots just stood there in silence and watched the clouds of smoke belch away.

"Ratchet, bridge us back to base now. We need to find Optimus before Starscream sinks his claws into his spark chamber too!" Arcee shouted into her comms.

Bumblebee and Bulkhead glanced at each other as another groundbridge opened up for them.

_"Bulkhead… am I hearing things, or did Megatron really just call Optimus and Starscream 'brothers'?" _Bumblebee warbled.

"I heard it too, 'Bee. And it really,_ really _worries me," Bulkhead said as he and Bumblebee stared into the flames.


	10. Megatron's Wrath

A groundbridge suddenly appeared amidst the whirling snow and two mechs fell out of it. Starscream fell to the ground and coughed up energon as Optimus fell down beside him.

"Stop bleeding!" he snapped.

Optimus blinked slowly and squinted at the Seeker through the snow. "I cannot control that, Starscream."

Starscream shook his helm and kicked at the snow as he stood up to his pedes. He could do this. He had been in much tougher situations before and had somehow managed to survive. He wouldn't let this latest crisis be the one to break him. He'd find a way to survive this, he _needed _to—for both his sake and Optimus's.

"Okay, okay, let's see here—the stupid Autobots are out to kill me, and Megatron is trying to capture, me and you're bleeding—stop bleeding!"

"That is not how this works." Optimus grunted as he sat up in the snow. The forest was dark and the whirling snow made it hard to see, but despite all of that the bright blue glow of energon was still visible in the darkness as it welled up from Optimus's midsection.

"See, okay, hold on for me? Okay? Be here for me!" Starscream said as he pressed his own servos to Optimus's midsection.

There was a strange lump in his throat that wasn't usually there. Sure, he was terrified—he was always terrified, Megatron had seen to that—but in that moment Starscream found himself experiencing a strange new kind of terror. This wasn't the usual sense of fear he felt whenever Megatron chased him; this was a stranger and yet more aching form of fear that he only felt whenever he glanced at Optimus's blood out on the snow in front of him.

The Prime grabbed ahold of his shoulder and pressed their forehelms together. "Starscream...I am here for you. I just need you to be here for _yourself_."

"Ooh, you're still giving me cryptic emotional advice. Good, your processor is still working." Starscream offlined his optics and ignored the way the icy wind bit into their frames.

The Autobots would shoot him on sight and take Prime away back to their base. Starscream rolled his optics and buried his faceplate in his servos as the wind blew harder. They thought he was the enemy. They were completely unaware of the anxiety he had felt for the Prime, the level of loyalty he had for the Prime, the sheer amount of _hatred _he had for Megatron—

"The Autobots… where are they?" Optimus said.

"I don't… I don't know. And I don't know if I can convince them that I'm not the slagger who fragged you over. They walked in on me standing over your bleeding frame with Soundwave and Megatron beside me, there's no way they won't try to kill me!"

"Not if… not if I can convince them—" Optimus began.

Starscream snorted. "'Convince them'? You fools have the thickest helms I've quite possibly ever seen in the entirety of my function. Do you think the femme will hold back once she sees me? No… I've been trying so hard to become a member of your team lately, but that's not enough for them." Starscream bit his lip. The image of Bumblebee ripping out Skyquake's internals flashed into his processor. "They'd kill me if they got the chance. I have to get you back to the Autobots, but I can't let them catch me."

"Starscream," Optimus began as he grabbed ahold of the Seeker's shoulder again. His optics flickered. "I will do my best to e-explain your innocence to them… however… I am unsure if I will be coherent enough by the time they retrieve me… and I am u-uncertain if they will even be able to listen to reason."

More energon leaked out from the wound in Optimus's midsection and pooled in the snow below.

"I…" Starscream sighed and punched the snowy ground. "Fine, let's do it your way. I'll try to convince them myself, I have to. I've been able to sweet talk my way out of tough situations before. I mean, surely they saw how Megatron yanked me up to his faceplate and threatened me, right? Surely they'll realize that he wouldn't be treating me that poorly if we were really on the same side, right? Right?"

Optimus's field wrenched around them both and a wave of static hissed over their frames. "Starscream… Megatron has _always _treated you poorly, even when you two were both on the same side. If they did see Megatron hurting you in the midst of their battle with the drones, then they'll just assume—

"—that everything's gone back to normal," Starscream sighed.

The cold wind blew harder as the blizzard around them increased. A vast black shape loomed ahead of them and blocked out the starlight.

His optics widened. "Starscream, is this what I think it is?"

"The snow mine? Yes."

Another harsh gale blew out of the sky and sent chunks of snow into their frames. Starscream's frame locked up as memories of an endless arctic ice sheet and a shuttle flashed into his processor. He wouldn't relieve that day, he _wouldn't._

Optimus groaned in pain and fell forward into Starscream's frame. His helm landed right on Starscream's shoulder pauldron as more energon leaked out from between his digits.

"I remember this place… you promised me you wouldn't abandon me here," Starscream said softly.

Optimus said nothing. His audials perked up, though.

"You promised me you wouldn't abandon me… so I suppose I have to promise _you_ that I will not abandon you. I already lost Skyfire to the snow, I won't lose you too."

Another icy blast of wind ripped through the trees just as a bright green light appeared in the woods. Starscream yelped and dragged Optimus's frame into a thick cluster of trees away from the strange glow.

A deep boom vibrated through the ground and made the snow shake and tremble. The trees at the other end of the clearing shook and snapped as something massive moved their way through them.

"Oh slag, that's… that's Bulkhead, right?"

_Thump._

_Thump._

Optimus groaned in pain. Starscream dragged him over to a snowdrift and hid the both of them behind the snow as the trees continued to snap and break apart.

_Thump._

_Thump._

Optimus looked up at Starscream as his optics began to flicker. "S-starscream… Bulkhead's pedes are never—"

_Thump. _

_Thump._

"—quite _that _loud."

The trees snapped and bent apart as Megatron shoved his way through them. He emerged from the woods and scanned the snowy forest with an expressionless look on his faceplates. His red optics shone like two search beams and the harsh icy wind shrieked past the sharp curves of his frame as he stomped his way forward. He raised his arms high into the air and a smile crossed his faceplate, almost is if this was all a joke to him.

"I don't need you. But you need me. Oh, little wretch, where are you? Look how far your lies have brought you, Seeker. Look how much this little stunt of yours has cost you. Once you stood beside me as the second-in-command of a grand army fighting for a grand cause, and now you snivel away like a scraplet. But here is the thing about scraplets, my rogue Seeker…" Megatron scanned the woods. His frame was faintly trembling. "Scraplets are only a threat in _numbers, _and as of right now, you are _very_ alone… well, except for the bleeding Prime that is. But he is of no help to you. But I… I can be of help to you. I helped you pick yourself back up after I—I mean, after the Autobots bombed Vos. Why shelter the murderer of your people when you can instead join the avenger of your people?"

Starscream stayed silent as his processor ran into overdrive. They had to leave, _now, _he just needed to grab the remote and bridge them to a new location.

"Starscream… your optics…" Optimus said weakly.

He blinked. Now that he really looked, he saw that there were two bright red spots shining on the snow. Starscream swore. His fear was making his optics brighten again and it was only a matter of time before Megatron spotted him and the glow of his optics, and once he spotted him he'd capture them and then—

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

—Starscream shook his helm. He needed to grab the remote, type in a new set of coordinates, and flee, _right now. _

Something shifted in the trees behind him.

"Starscream, offline your optics!" Optimus harshly whispered to him.

"What?" Starscream breathed. "I need to see the remote so I can get bridge us out of here!"

Optimus looked at him and there was something desperate in his field. Starscream flinched. He'd felt that desperation in his own field so many times before.

Starscream took a deep vent and offlined his optics.

A bright violet glow shone through his opticlids as something walked through the snow up to him. The wind began to flow around them differently, almost as if there another frame there that was blocking the wind.

The air began to buzz.

Soundwave scanned the snowy woods and let his cables coil over the surface of each and every tree. Sparks flew out of his cracked visor and a trickle of energon dripped down from where the shards of glass cut into his faceplate.

He stopped walking and stood right beside the snowdrift.

Optimus held Starscream down deeper into the snow as Soundwave passed right by. His normally calm and hidden field flashed and flickered around him in agitation as he passed right by. Soundwave stopped and looked out over the snow.

Starscream held his breath—

Soundwave kept walking.

He didn't know how long he and Optimus laid there in the freezing snow while they waited for the threat of Soundwave to pass. The only sound came from the whistle of the snow and Optimus's vents as he harshly wheezed.

"We need to keep going, Prime," Starscream whispered to Optimus as he helped the Prime up to his pedes. He tried to keep the tremble out of his voice and project a confidence that wasn't there. It was normally Optimus who kept him comforted and grounded when confronted with the terror of Soundwave—but things had changed. Now Optimus was the fearful bot bleeding out. And Starscream wanted to be that bot who could comfort and ground others—but he couldn't ignore his own fear that loomed over him and the way even the mere sight of Soundwave or Megatron made his spark quicken and his vents come faster and—

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

Starscream grabbed ahold of Optimus and ran until they were clear of the suffocating woods and away from Soundwave's scans.

A vast lake that was completely frozen over with ice loomed before them. Starscream skid to a stop and felt the ice creak and bend as he settled his weight over it. There was only the white icy plane that extended endlessly off to the horizon. There were no snowdrifts, no trees, no logs, no rocks—nothing but the cold white empty air.

Starscream scowled and hefted Prime up higher onto his shoulder. "Okay, we'll find somewhere to hide, and…"

"Starscream?"

His spark sank. "We can't hide, can we?"

Optimus shook his helm and looked over his shoulder with wide optics. "I am afraid we have a-already been found."

The air began to buzz. Twigs snapped and leaves rustled as something slid through the trees upon the shore. Starscream froze and slowly turned around as Soundwave emerged from the woods. Sparks flew from his visor and lit up his single blood-red optic in bright bursts of light. He stopped moving suddenly at the threshold of the woods and just stared at Starscream and Optimus.

Starscream _moved. _He grabbed ahold of Optimus and the two of them limped out together onto the ice as it moaned and groaned beneath their energon-splattered pedes.

He looked over his pauldron and back at Soundwave's silent silhouette upon the shore. "D-don't you remember, Soundwave? Don't you remember all the years we spent fighting together, serving together, and just being together? Don't you?

Soundwave tilted his helm and spoke using Starscream's own voice. "_Don't you? Don't you remember?" _

"W-well, of course I do, Soundwave!" Something cracked in the ice beneath their pedes. "I just asked you the same thing!"

Soundwave stepped onto the ice. It did not make a single noise as he glided over the cold clean white surface and began to slowly walk towards them.

"_Don't you remember all the years we spent fighting together, serving together, and just being together?" _he said using a recording of Starscream's voice. He patched the audio together in a way that made the recording ring and boom across the ice and right back at Starscream.

"Um, Soundwave—"

"_DON'T YOU REMEMBER?"_

"I do, Soundwave I _do _remember! So why can't you?!" Starscream shrieked as the ice beneath his pedes cracked.

Soundwave lunged forward into the air and passed right over their helms before he slammed into the ice right in front of Optimus and Starscream. It cracked and the large ice sheet Optimus and Starscream were standing upon tilted down and into the black roaring waters of the lake beneath. Starscream began to slide down and he yelped and sunk his talons into the ice to stop himself from sliding down farther into the black watery depths.

Soundwave placed a pede upon the ice sheet and tilted it down with his weight. It tilted and made Starscream slide down it even more.

He looked back over his shoulders and at Optimus. "Prime, hold on—!"

His optics flickered and went out.

"Optimus, _no_!"

Optimus's unconscious frame slammed into his and the sheer weight of him submerged Starscream and him down into the water.

Starscream struggled and thrashed under the ice as a bright violet lit suddenly lit up and shone upon the surface above. He desperately tried to claw his way back up to the surface and away from the black depths below—

—_there was a shuttle ahead of him, the shuttle was flying away from him, the blizzard was closing in and fear was closing in on his spark, he was losing him—_

_Is this what you felt, Skyfire? _Starscream thought as he sunk down into the watery darkness.

He activated his jet engines and shot up. His frame slammed up against the bottom of the ice and he punched through it with his fist. Starscream dragged his frame through the ice and spit out the icy black water as he rolled back onto the surface. He looked around and saw a red and blue shape underneath the ice.

"No, _no, _I am _not _going through this again!" Starscream cried out as he dug his talons into the ice sheet.

"_DON'T YOU REMEMBER ALL THE YEARS WE SPENT FIGHTING TOGETHER?" _Soundwave said using the recording of Starscream's voice. It boomed out over the water and made the snowflakes in the air disintegrate with the sheer force of it.

Starscream wrenched up the ice sheet and grabbed ahold of Optimus's shoulder. He grunted in exertion as he heaved the Prime's prone frame up and onto the surface. Pain shot through his spinal strut and something deep within him snapped as he hoisted Prime up out of the water.

He checked Optimus over for injuries and let out a shaky vent of relief when he saw none. Two violet cables suddenly wrapped around the two of them and Starscream found himself being dragged across the ice and over to Soundwave's pedes.

Soundwave loomed over them and just watched them both with his single visible red optic.

"_Don't you remember?"_ he said again using the recording, except this time he spoke very, very softly.

Starscream blinked ice out of his optics. "I do, Soundwave. I r-really do."

Soundwave slowly leaned down until their faceplates were only a breath away. A single cable wrapped tightly around the back of his helm and prevented Starscream from slamming his helm forward again to attack Soundwave.

Soon, their faceplates were so close that Starscream could feel the bursts of heat from the sparks that were flying off of Soundwave's visor.

"IF YOU REMEMBER—_all the years we spent fighting together—_THEN WHY DID YOU BETRAY US?"

Starscream bit his lip. He didn't have time for this, he needed to bridge Optimus and himself away, but there was no way he could possibly do that if Soundwave loomed over him. "Soundwave, I—"

A hot blue bolt of plasma suddenly shot into the ground right in front of Soundwave's pedes and made the ice explode in a cloud of icy fragments and water.

Optimus shakily pointed his smoking blaster right at Soundwave. His optics flickered and his entire midsection was completely crusted over with energon, yet he still kept his blaster raised.

"S-soundwave… you and M-megatron betrayed _yourselves _when you decided to s-stop caring about the cause."

Soundwave shook his helm and made a low metallic growling noise that burst right out of his vocalizer. He rose to his pedes and began to stalk towards Optimus—

The ice beneath his pedes cracked.

His optic widened and he glanced down just in time to see the ice underneath him snap.

The ice suddenly shattered and Soundwave fell into the cold black water below. He plummeted to the bottom and his cables lashed out as he sunk. They coiled and twisted in the water like tentacles and gave a single powerful pulse of bright violet before they dimmed and went black.

Starscream sat beside the edge of the icy hole and watched Soundwave sink. Pure silence fell over the lake until soon all Starscream could hear was the quiet groan of the wind.

"Primus…" he whimpered.

"Starscream… Starscream…" Optimus wheezed.

He shot to his pedes and ran over to Optimus as he pulled out the remote again.

"Stop bleeding, I'll get us out of here!"

"Starscream—"

He fumbled out the remote and tried to tap in the coordinates, but his frozen talons wouldn't stop shaking. Starscream grit his dentae and sharply pressed each button as his entire frame shook and trembled.

"Slag!" he swore.

The sound of a fusion cannon hummed through the air.

Starscream held himself still and offlined his optics. He felt Megatron's presence before he even saw him. A harsh sparking cloud of static brushed at his wings as Megatron's enormous field grew closer and closer.

Panic rose up in Starscream's throat and choked him as he tried even harder to grab ahold of the remote and type in the coordinates. It slipped from his wet talons and clattered onto the cold wet ice and towards the black hole Soundwave had fallen into. Starscream shrieked and swung one of his legs out. He slammed the bottom of his heel onto the remote and stopped it from sliding any further by pinning it under his pede.

"And so there we were in the Council chambers, completely and utterly surrounded by mechs who wanted nothing more than to kill us. And you were scared, and I was too, but I hid my fear for _your sake." _Megatron emerged from the woods with a feral look in his optics. He kept charging and de-charging his fusion cannon. Each time it charged up it let out a bright burst of violet light, and everytime it charged down it went cold and black.

"And so there we were, together, brothers, forever, and you…you ruined it all. You took the Primehood from me…" Megatron said softly, so softly that his voice was nearly as quiet as the wind itself. He continued to walk towards the icy lake and at any moment now he would soon step onto the ice itself.

Starscream's vision staticked out as raw panic filled his field.

"—And so there we were! Together! The Primehood was my prize, and you _took_ it, you know that? You took it, I could have been Megatronus Prime, do you know that, Orion?" Megatron snarled out. He continued to walk closer and closer to the icy lake.

"Um…" Starscream said blankly.

Megatron stared off into the sky as the snow fell around him. "It would have been perfect. Me, with all of the power and control, and you there, beside me and doing my bidding, Starscream. But no, Starscream, you took the Primehood from me, you took it!" Megatron hissed. His voice cracked and growled all at once as he continued to march towards the lake.

"I… I didn't take the Primehood, Megatron," Starscream said. Megatron's field wrenched and hissed with static as he suddenly turned his blood-red optics onto Starscream.

"Yes. You did. There, beside you, upon the ice, you wretch! You took the Primehood and put it in _your chest _when it should've gone in _mine, _beside _my spark, _and then you took Prime with you and made him your brother and—"

Megatron stepped onto the ice. It made a piercing shrieking noise as his massive weight settled upon it. Cracks formed all over the icy surface and spat out jets of water, yet Megatron completely ignored them and continued to march on, even as the icy water began to rise and cover his legs.

The ice was already cracked and unstable thanks to Soundwave's plunge. There was no way it would be able to handle the weight of an enormous and angry warlord stomping across it. A massive crack began to form and spread towards Starscream and Optimus.

"Megatron, please, see reason!" Starscream begged.

"Reason? _Reason! _Give me one reason why I shouldn't take you and bring you back and make you _stay there _beside me! You belong beside me, you are weak without me. You are not strong enough to take the leap to leave me!" Megatron snarled.

Starscream had no idea which mech Megatron was actually talking to. It seemed that Megatron didn't know either. Starscream hid the remote behind his back and continued to shakily type in the coordinates.

"Do you ever wonder how Skyfire felt when you betrayed him? Do you ever wonder how he felt when he saw you flying off without him as you abandoned him?"

Starscream froze. "How do you know about that?"

"I know you better than you know yourself, Starscream. I know that you wonder about how Skyfire felt when he was betrayed… but _I _do not need to wonder about what it is like to be betrayed. I was betrayed, once by my brother, and then a second time by… my _brother._"

Megatron stepped forward and fell into the ice up to his hips. His optics twitched, but otherwise he had no reaction.

"You are not my brother," Starscream breathed.

"I am Skyfire."

"Don't you dare claim to be him! Don't! You! _Dare!"_

"I am Skywarp."

Starscream tightly grabbed ahold of the remote and activated a groundbridge.

Megatron laughed bitterly. "I am Thundercracker."

The air above the ice shuddered and wavered as a whirling green groundbridge appeared above the ice.

"And I am everybody, _every_ mech you have ever loved and then betrayed, don't you see, Optimus—I mean, Starscream? All you need is me. No one else. No one else but me."

Starscream made a run for it. He heaved Optimus over his shoulder and ran to the bridge as Megatron roared behind him. He fled towards the bridge at full speed and in just a few moments they would be through it and _safe—_

Soundwave burst out of the ice. His visor flared and his vocalizer made a terrible screeching noise as his cables slammed hard into the ice all around Optimus and Starscream. His entire frame glowed a blindingly bright shade of violet and pieces of shattered glass from his visor fell and down and onto Starscream as he loomed over him.

"It is all perspective, my dear Starscream. You are the hero of your own story, but the villain in mine." Megatron laughed as Starscream shrieked. "Everybody knows that only _my _story, that only _my _grand design actually matters here. You were born nothing, you are nothing, but then I came and made you into something! And now you are on the verge of becoming nothing yet again due to your folly! Come back to me. You always do. I came back for you, so come back to me!" Megatron shouted.

Soundwave blocked the groundbridge and the path to safety using his slender purple frame. Megatron laughed behind them, deep and guttural. He continued to wade into the lake as the water level rose around his frame. A sheet of ice hit him and he snarled and fired a bolt from his fusion cannon right at it. The entire lake screeched as a huge sheet of ice flew up into the air and disintegrated up high in the sky.

The commotion made Soundwave sharply look up. Annoyance and fear flared in his field and he briefly stopped paying attention to Starscream and Optimus.

"Once we were brothers, you know," Megatron said as he looked around in a daze.

Soundwave was distracted. His optic twitched and his cables tensed up at the sight of Megatron wading around in the water.

Starscream never failed to take advantage of an opportunity. He ran around Soundwave while dragging Optimus behind him. Megatron incoherently shouted something and the groundbridge drew closer and closer as he ran towards it—

A cable lashed out and sent him and Optimus flying backwards and away from the bridge. Starscream lost his grip on Optimus and the Prime's unconscious frame slid across the ice and towards the dark watery hole Soundwave had fallen into earlier.

"No!" Starscream shrieked. Anger flared up in his field and he instinctively lashed out at one of Soundwave's cables. His talons left behind three bleeding slash marks upon the cable.

Soundwave blinked and looked down at his new wound. He looked back up again. Suddenly, Starscream found himself flat on his back with three new slash marks upon his midsection.

"Okay, okay, mistake, slag!" Starscream swore. Megatron stood half-submerged in the ice behind him. His red optics followed every single one of Starscream's movements.

Starscream let out an exhausted vent and looked up at the groundbridge. There was no way he could possibly reach that bridge with Optimus in tow, not while Soundwave was guarding it. Running back into the woods was not an option because there was a very angry and very deranged warlord blocking the way. An idea suddenly sprung into his helm. It would be awful and cold, but—

"Oh, you have an idea, don't you?" Megatron said.

Starscream froze and looked over at him.

Megatron smiled. "I have an idea too. Come back to me."

The wind whistled, Soundwave loomed over him, Megatron watched him expectantly, and Starscream laid frozen on the ground.

Starscream took a deep vent and shouted.

"No!"

Starscream got up and ran… away from the groundbridge. Surprise flared in Soundwave's field and he watched Starscream run right towards Megatron.

Megatron smiled and stretched out his servo welcomingly to Starscream. Satisfaction thrummed in his field and he laughed as he stretched out his arms.

Starscream skid to a halt and knelt beside Optimus's frame. The two of them were right on the very edge of the black watery hole Soundwave had fallen into earlier.

"I apologize for this, Prime," Starscream said. He knew Optimus couldn't hear him, but it still felt like something that had to be said.

All of the victory in Megatron's field vanished in a single instant and he snarled at Starscream from across the ice. He raised his fusion cannon and charged it up—

Starscream pushed Optimus's frame into the water. He stood up and took one last look at Megatron's shocked and enraged faceplate before he plunged in himself.

Darkness consumed his vision. The only light came from the bright red glow of his optics and the glow of the energon bleeding away from Optimus and floating in the water. The two of them sunk to the lakebed as Starscream scrambled to pull the remote out again. The cold water rushed into his vents and static popped and peppered his vision as the image of the remote in his shaking talons blurred in front of him. He slammed the activate button and a new groundbridge yawned open beneath Starscream and Optimus's sinking frames.

A violet cable shot into the water and snatched ahold of Starscream's legs. He shrieked and tried to kick it off when he suddenly felt a burst of heat by his pede.

He turned around and saw the dim blue glow of Optimus's optics staring at him. His blaster was extended and Soundwave's cable had a dark singe mark on it. The cable spasmed and the bright glow of a visor shone from the surface above. Megatron's shadow fell over the two of them and his bright red optics blazed like twin suns from up high on the surface as he watched them sink.

Optimus and Starscream shared one last look with each other as they fell through the watery groundbridge.

* * *

Optimus and Starscream fell out of the groundbridge. Cold black water and chunks of ice poured out of the bridge and over their frames as Starscream scrambled to grab ahold of the remote and shut the bridge off.

The bridge vanished in a burst of light. The two of them just knelt there in the forest and let the water that had gotten caught in their armor leak from their frames and onto the ground in little waterfalls.

"Starscream…" Optimus blearily said.

Starscream cracked a single optic open and looked at the very wet and very confused Prime. "Hmpf, yes?"

Optimus blinked. "Did...did you just—?"

"Shhh, shhh! We took a dive, Prime, that is all that you need to know."

"But—"

"Stop panicking, okay?!" Starscream leaned over Optimus and shook the Prime's shoulders. "Stop panicking, everything will be fine! I just need a plan, I've come up with plans on the fly before, I just need to quickly make up a plan. So stop panicking, stop—"

Optimus's shaky servos came up and he gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's talons. He held his small talons in his much larger servos and looked at Starscream.

"Stop panicking. Everything will be fine," Optimus said.

Starscream took in a deep shuddery vent. "But—"

"Everything will be fine," Optimus repeated.

Starscream shook his helm and his wings fluttered behind him agitatedly. "Slag it, Prime, I'm the one who should be comforting you, not…"

"The other way around? Perhaps."

Starscream sighed. "Frag, this isn't—"

Optimus's helm shot up. "Do not finish saying that sentence. You were about to say that this was not 'the way of things,' w-weren't you?"

Starscream shut his intake.

"Is that what Megatron told you to justify his abuse of you? That it is just... 'the way of things?'"

Starscream just stared into space and fluttered his wings behind him. "Because it _is _the way of things, Prime. It just is. Megatron has taught me many lessons over the years and that was one of them."

"A true lesson is meant to educate you and reveal the truth to you, not blind you and miseducate you. Everything he taught you… is wrong, Starscream."

Starscream scoffed. "What, oh, so you've decided that right now is the perfect time to have another big chat, is that it? What is with you Autobots and feelsy conversations? Sometimes emotions don't matter and only the plan matters—the plan which, by the way, I am currently trying to create to save our lives!"

"Emotions _do _matter. I know why you're so scared and emotional right now."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Oh, well forgive me for feeling a bit agitated! It's not as if an insane warlord and a group of raving Autobots are trying to hunt me down and all, pfft, that's no reason to get emotional, not at all!"

"I can tell that those things are scaring you, yes—" Optimus suddenly stopped speaking and groaned in pain. Starscream rushed over to him and looked over his bloodied midsection.

Optimus just stared at him. "That is why you are scared right now."

"What are you even saying, Prime?"

"What I am saying… is that you are scared that you will lose me. Megatron taught you to never get attached to anything, did he? He taught you that detachment and abuse was normal, that it was 'the way of things.'"

"How is this relevant right now?" Starscream asked softly.

"Because you have grown attached to me and my 'feelsy' conversations, even though you continuously deny growing attached to me."

Starscream scoffed. "Gah, I'm not attached to all of this emotional nonsense you keep heaping on me! But fine, I'll play along. Let's say that's the case. Let's say that I…. _enjoy _having my past with Megatron dissected and discussed, hmm? Why is that suddenly _relevant _here in this moment?!"

"I fear that Megatron will capture you and try to miseducate you again. That is an unacceptable outcome and I refuse to allow all of your progress to vanish under his manipulations."

"What 'manipulations'? He didn't manipulate me!"

"He manipulated you into never realizing that you were being abused and manipulated."

Starscream shut his intake.

"Starscream… I can feel my systems shutting down. I will go into shutdown mode again due to my injuries and I am uncertain if we will reach Ratchet and the Autobots in time. I am telling you this because I need to warn you that Megatron will try to undo the change you've gone through."

"I…"

"Starscream, you are still not an Autobot. Not yet. You haven't changed enough. You are still not ready to take that leap. Do not allow Megatron to undo all of the changes you have gone through. Remember all of our conversations in the event that you are captured."

"I can change! I can take that leap!" Starscream shook out.

"Can you really, Starscream?"

"Don't go into shutdown on me! I need you!"

"Starscream, you only need yourself. You can still become an Autobot, even if I do shutdown."

"What—but how?! How can I know when I'm an Autobot if the head of the Autobots is too stuck in a coma to be able to tell me?"

"You will know."

Pedesteps sounded out from behind them. Starscream slowly turned around and looked up.

"Very sorry to interrupt this touchy-feely moment, but the big M wants us to bring you in," Knock Out said.

"Frag!" Starscream swore. He lunged forward at Knock Out and his optics widened as Knock Out drew out his electro-prod. He swung it at Starscream and the sheer shock of it threw Starscream through the air and back into Optimus's frame.

"How shocking!" Knock Out laughed.

Starscream tried to get back up again. Something closed around his ankle and he looked down to see Optimus's servo on his leg.

"Prime, what—?"

"Remember what I have taught you, Starscream."

Starscream blinked and looked away. "I will."

"Do not… do not allow Megatron to capture you."

"Yeah, well, I can't allow him to capture you either."

"What, so this is the 'brotherhood' Megatron has been raving about so much?" Knock Out laughed. He looked at something behind Starscream and smiled. "What do you think, Breakdown?"

Breakdown emerged from the trees behind them and smiled at the shock on Starscream's faceplate. "Huh, yeah. They're not much to look at."

"Frag you!" Starscream spat. He reached under his chestplate to grab the groundbridge remote—

Breakdown grabbed ahold of Starscream's grip and pulled his servo away from his cockpit. "What are you reaching for, Screamer? We thought you had no weapons."

"Hmpf, I thought the Autobots declawed you!" Knock Out scoffed as he looked at Starscream's scratched and bruised frame. "Come back to the Nemesis, I can buff those dents out."

"What, so Megatron can give me more dents?" Starscream laughed bitterly. "I don't think so!"

He tried to pull himself free from Breakdown's grasp, but the ex-Wrecker just tightened his grip on the Seeker. "Do you know just how _insane _Megatron has been lately because of this stunt you've pulled?"

"Insane. Just absolutely insane. But we can fix that, can't we, Breakdown?" Knock Out smiled.

"Once Megatron has you two…. _brothers_… back in his grasp, then things can get back to normal," Breakdown nodded.

Starscream froze. _Normal. _

"_Megatron taught you to never get attached to anything, did he?" _Optimus's voice echoed through his helm. He looked down at the prone Prime on the ground and felt his spark clench up. Optimus's vents breathed heavily and he stared at Starscream. His optics flickered.

"Oh, Primus, look at them Breakdown! They went and got attached to each other!" Knock Out said as shock filled his field.

Breakdown shook his helm. "Weird. So weird. You make, like, the worst pair of brothers."

Optimus's old words drifted back to Starscream. "_He taught you that detachment and abuse was normal, that it was 'the way of things.'"_

"Out of all of the bots to go and become brothers with, you chose the Prime?" Knock Out scoffed.

Starscream looked at Optimus. His optics were shut and more energon had begun to leak out of his midsection.

Starscream looked back up and at the two of them. "It's just... the Autobot way of things."

"Pah, leave the Prime behind and get back onto the Nemesis with us. We miss you, you're amusing," Knock Out said.

Starscream looked behind him and back at Optimus.

Optimus's voice drifted through his helm. "_I saved you because it was the right thing to do. I came back for you in that canyon—"_

His talon clenched into a fist by his side.

"—_and I'll keep coming back for you as you become the mech I know you can be."_

"He did not leave me behind," Starscream said softly. "So I will not leave him behind."

Knock Out and Breakdown blinked and looked at him with wide optics.

Starscream lashed out with his other set of claws and raked them down Breakdown's arm. He cried out and let go of Starscream's other servo. Starscream jumped away from Breakdown and ran back over to Optimus.

"Hold on Prime, just let me get the remote and—"

Starscream shrieked as bolts of electricity raced through his frame.

Knock Out stood over him and held the tip of the electro-prod right over Starscream's chestplates. "You hurt Breakdown," he said.

Starscream snarled back. "Go. I have a _new _doctor."

Knock Out's jaw dropped. "What? Why, you little—!"

"Starscream," Optimus said. He reached up and grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder. "I am not worth it. Do not risk getting yourself captured. Run. Y-you could get hurt."

Starscream froze. He could do that. Just create a new bridge and leap through it, but without the Prime's heavy frame in tow. He could just escape and go rogue in the wilderness, away from Megatron, away from the Autobots, away from Optimus—

—Away from Optimus. He frowned.

Starscream flinched as an image of Vos's spires burning in the night flashed into his processor. He flinched as another image appeared—he saw a shuttle's faint silhouette disappearing amongst the snow of a blizzard, growing fainter and fainter.

He had to leave the dying Seekers of Vos behind and he'd had to leave _him _behind and—

Starscream instinctively put his servo on Optimus's arm.

"You know, I never was one for following orders." He looked down at Optimus and watched the Prime's optics widen in concern.

"Starscream—"

"Shush!" he hissed at Optimus.

Knock Out and Breakdown glanced at each other.

"You'll never be able to leave the Decepticons, stop fooling yourself. You can't take that leap," Knock Out scoffed.

"Get back here!" Breakdown shouted as he ran right at Starscream.

Starscream shrieked and jumped back as the Decepticon barreled towards him. "Breakdown, no, y-you were an Autobot once!"

The Breakdown stopped running and he stared at Starscream.

"Do not hurt me for committing t-the same crime _you _did!"

"I've done nothing wrong, traitor!"

"You were once one of Optimus's soldiers! But you left, you l-left, surely you understand that sometimes you need to switch sides in life!"

Breakdown glared at him. "We are nothing alike."

"Are we, though?" Starscream shook out. He looked around for where the remote had fallen and saw it sitting off on the ground. He reached his leg out and slowly dragged the remote back to him with his pede as the ex-Wrecker just continued to glare at him.

"Surely you know what it's like to look around at all the bots amongst you and to realize that… that you don't belong amongst them… I looked at the Decepticons, and I knew I couldn't stay with them!"

Breakdown froze. "Okay, at first I just wanted to smack you around a little bit. Now I'm trying to resist smashing your helm in."

"But you understand w-what I'm saying, don't you?!"

Breakdown snorted. "Kind of. You're claiming that you don't belong amongst the Decepticons, but that's just not slaggin' true. You're the _definition _of a Decepticon. What, are you seriously telling me you looked at all the Autobots who hate you and said 'I belong here'? Don't kid yourself."

"I… No. I did not look at all of the Autobots and felt that I belonged beside them all—

Breakdown laughed. "Hah! See?"

"—but I feel that I belong beside by one Autobot in particular."

Breakdown's smile vanished. Starscream dragged the remote close enough to slip it into his servo behind his back. Just the press of a few buttons and—

Something cold pressed against his neck cabling. "Don't make me electrocute you again, Starscream," Knock Out said.

Starscream froze.

"Drop the remote. Drop the Prime. Come back. Everything will be fine." Knock Out said slowly and calmly as he poked the remote with the tip of the electro-prod.

The tip of the electro-prod hovered right beside his back and sent out hot sparks that skipped and danced across Starscream's back plating. He offlined his optics and tried to ignore the way the heat of the prod washed across his frame and tried to ignore just how similar it felt to the warm heat of a fusion cannon—

"Throw it."

Starscream took a deep vent. "What?"

"I will have to electrocute you if you do not do as I say. Throw the remote where you can't reach it," Knock Out said.

Starscream looked over his shoulder and glared at the medic. He held up the remote in his shaky servo and took one last look at it.

"Now now Starscream, you never were the sentimental sort. No need to get attached to the remote—or to Prime. Once you're back on the Nemesis, we can forget this all happened."

Starscream offlined his optics and threw the remote off to the side. It clattered against the rocks and shone faintly from across the forest clearing.

Knock Out smiled. "Oh, perfect…" He twirled the prod around and shoved Starscream away from Optimus using the blunt end of it. Starscream turned around just in time to see Knock Out hold the prod over Optimus's prone chassis.

"You said you wouldn't electrocute us if I did what you said! And I did what you said! Traitor—!"

"I said I wouldn't electrocute _you. _Prime was not included in our deal."

"What? Why would you go and hurt him for?!"

Knock Out frowned and all of his fake mirth left him in a single moment. "Lord Megatron said that Prime needed to be kept in shut-down mode in order to prevent you two from getting all buddy-buddy with each other. Stop worrying, none of the sparks from the prod will shoot out and hurt you. Unless…" Knock Out's optics widened and he looked at Starscream as if seeing him for the first time. "Unless you actually _care _for Prime's wellbeing?"

Starscream snarled. "I am not attached—"

"Oh, but you are, but you are! And here I was thinking you could only get attached to your own spark!" Knock Out laughed.

Starscream laid sprawled on the ground and rapidly glanced between Knock Out, Breakdown, and Optimus. Breakdown just stared at Prime with a cold glint in his orange optics, Knock Out was getting ready to bring the electro-prod down onto Optimus, and Optimus…

Optimus took a wheezy vent and looked over at Starscream. He blinked sluggishly and mouthed a single word.

_Run._

They were distracted. He could escape, he could—

"_I saved you because it was the right thing to do. I came back for you in that canyon—"_

Starscream choked back a sob. He knew what he had to do, but it would be so painful.

"—_and I'll keep coming back for you as you become the mech I know you can be."_

But not as painful as leaving Optimus behind.

Knock Out put a single pede on Optimus's energon-covered chest and activated the electro-prod. "Now hold still 'big brother,' just one little shock and you'll peacefully slip away into shut-down mode—"

Starscream rammed into Knock Out at full speed. A hot burst of electricity arced out into the air and across the curves of Starscream's frame as he and the medic tumbled over each other and down into the trees.

Stray bolts of electricity raced over Starscream's wings and he fell down as the pain tingled through him. Optimus shakily reached out a servo at Starscream and tried to drag his bloodied frame over to Starscream's sparking frame.

His circuits felt as if they were on fire—every cable, every strut, every piece and bit of Starscream felt as if it was aflame. He let out a shriek and grabbed ahold of the sparking electro-prod under him. The electro-prod sat wedged under his back and between his wings as it sent out pulse after pulse of tangled lightning over and cross his entire frame. Knock Out stumbled to his pedes from where he had fallen as Breakdown ran over to the two of them.

"Why you little—!" Breakdown swore and lunged forward at Starscream. Starscream shrieked as he reached under the electro-prod and chucked it at Breakdown. The ex-Wrecker stumbled to the side to avoid the sparking and hissing prod. Starscream barrelled past him and grabbed ahold of the remote in his burnt servos as Knock Out shouted behind him.

"You know we're going to find you again, right?" He gritted as he rose to his pedes. Breakdown and Knock Out's optics shone like searchlights in the gloom of the forest. "You can keep running, and we'll just keep finding you until you can't run anymore."

Starscream punched a new set of coordinates into the remote and flung his frame over Optimus's as a groundbridge opened up beneath them. Optimus twitched underneath him and Starscream hooked his talons over him protectively.

Optimus smiled a sad smile. "And yet you continue to deny getting attached."

Starscream's mouth opened and closed as he tried to find something to say. No words sprang into his helm.

Breakdown roared and charged towards the two of them at full speed. The groundbridge opened up beneath Starscream and Optimus and swallowed them whole just as Breakdown swung his hammer into the empty air where they had once been.

* * *

"I'm not getting a signal," Ratchet scowled at the screen.

Bulkhead growled and punched the wall. "We should've seen this coming!"

"Hep hep hep, don't break anything! It's not what Optimus would've wanted!" Ratchet grumbled.

Arcee had been staring at the wall, but then suddenly turned around. "You speak about him as if he is dead."

"He may as well be." Ratchet shook his helm and went back to trying to get a signal.

"Uh, what's happening?" Jack said. The children all stood on the mezzanine and stared up at the bots.

Ratchet dragged a servo down his faceplate. "Optimus has been captured by the Decepticons, all thanks to _him!_"

"'_Him_'? Do you mean Starscream?" Raf asked.

"Yes, yes, who else? Who else could possibly have been behind this?"

Raf shuffled his feet and looked away. "Well… he'd been making so much progress, I just thought Starscream—"

"I'm getting a signal!" Ratchet shouted as he activated the groundbridge. The Autobots wasted no time and rapidly raced through the bridge.

Raf just stared at the bridge they had disappeared into it and sighed.

"I thought he was our friend… and I think he still might be..." he finally finished.

* * *

The Autobots emerged onto the other side of the groundbridge and extended their blasters as their optics scanned the dark woods for any sign of life.

Movement shifted around in the trees and Starscream came into view. His frame was banged in, dented, dirtied, and smeared with energon, but despite all his injuries he still managed to haul the bruised and bloodied frame of Optimus behind him. His field shook and shuddered around him and sparked with so much energy that even the Autobots could sense his distress all the way across the trees.

Bumblebee's optics widened and his extended blasters began to shake. He knew what would happen next. Starscream still hadn't noticed them yet, but when he did—

Starscream collapsed into the ground and vented heavily as the Autobots just stood and watched him. His field flickered around him and projected a dizzying array of emotions that flickered through his field like a storm—_pain and grief and betrayal, but worry, so much worry—_

He blinked and just stared at the bleeding Seeker as the world seemed to move in slow motion. Worry, that was worry flickering in Starscream's field, hot cloying worry mingled with grief that looped around his bleeding frame and choked him—

Bumblebee stood there and wondered whether Starscream was worrying for himself, or for Optimus.

Starscream's optics shot wide open and his frame stiffened. He turned around and his breath left him in a harsh vent as he laid optics on the Autobots. His servo instinctively moved over to clutch onto Optimus. That was a mistake.

"Let him go, Scream!" Bulkhead growled as he slammed his wrecking ball into the palm of his servo.

Starscream snarled. "I think not, Wrecker. I have to protect him, after all!"

"What? From us?" Bulkhead scoffed.

"From the Decepticons! From _him_!" Starscream growled. His wings flared behind him and his optics began to grow brighter as anxiety rose up within his field again.

"From Megatron?" Bulkhead laughed unhappily. "You're Megatron's little pet, there's no way we're leaving Prime with you!"

"I am no pet! I am my own Mast—" Starscream's optics widened and he bit down on his glossa. His optics widened and he stared at the Autobots as raw field sprang up in his field.

"You're your own Master. We know, oh, we know!" Bulkhead choked out. "You've made that clear to us, and you made it clear to Cliffie!"

Arcee's optics flashed. "We know how you killed him. How you stood over him and leered down at Cliffjumper as you drove his claws right into him and—"

"What? How do you know about that?!" Starscream shouted.

Bumblebee's optics widened. "_The footage Soundwave showed us… it was real. All of it."_

Starscream's breaths left him all at once. "What? No!"

"_You just confirmed that the footage we saw was authentic, Starscream. You really… you really did shove your claws into him…"_ Bumbleebe warbled.

"We saw what you did to Cliffjumper with our own optics!" Arcee snarled.

He dragged Optimus closer to him and offlined his optics. The familiar feeling of panic clawed its way up his through and he took a deep veent. He looked to Optimus for comfort and received none. The Prime was unconscious and his frame was smeared over with energon. Starscream took a deep breath, thought of every conversation he ever had with Optimus, and responded.

Starscream shut his optics and his field fell around him with grief. "I... will not deny what I did to Cliffjumper, Autobots. I have denied committing many crimes before, but I won't try to convince you I did not commit a crime that I absolutely _did _commit and that I _enjoyed _committing. But I _will _deny hurting your precious Prime! Slag it, if I wanted to hurt him, why did I run from Megatron, huh? Why didn't I just shimmy up to Megatron and just hand Optimus over to his greatest enemy?! I could've! I could've! But I _didn't_!"

The Autobots glanced between one another as uncertainty began to waver in their fields.

"_Let him go, Starscream," _Bumblebee beeped.

Starscream clutched onto the Prime even harder. He still wasn't entirely certain why, but the idea of Optimus leaving him and being out of his reach made his spark lock up in him.

"I can't," he said as he looked at Optimus. He was completely unconscious at this point and his midsection was covered in congealed energon.

"_Why not?" _Bumblebee trilled. There was something familiar about the way Starscream's optics lit up and the way his terror inundated his field.

"Because, because—" Starscream tried to grit out. He'd been able to use his silver tongue to escape so many situations before; yet there he was in one of the worst situations he had ever been in, and completely unable to say a word.

Bumblebee beeped softly. "_Let him go."_

"I can't, slag it!" Starscream punched the ground. It was happening all over again. He was getting too attached and that was completely _unacceptable. _One of his main rules he had followed was to never allow himself to get too attached to a bot, never again—he'd been attached to Skywarp and Thundercracker and Skyfire and Megatron, and then Starscream had always fragged up—

"How can I trust you?!" Starscream snarled.

"_We'll take care of him! I promise!"_

"How do I know you won't just shoot me the moment I loosen my hold on him, huh?"

Bumblebee froze and went silent.

"You'd dare use some bleeding bot to shield yourself?" Bulkhead growled at him.

"You leave me no choice," Starscream growled right back. "I'm running out of choices here, you idiots! And when bots run out of choices, they m-make stupid decisions and they go and j-join armies they shouldn't join and follow Primes out of cave-ins, even though it'll all probably just end in disaster, and—" Starscream let out a hitched sob and held Prime closer.

They said nothing and all just stood there in silence.

"What do I have to say to convince you of my innocence?" Starscream asked softly, so softly.

"_I…" _Bumblebee began to say. He didn't know why he wasn't angry at the Seeker. Everything seemed _too_ right, it all just made too much sense—the sight of Starscream kneeling over Optimus's bleeding frame as Megatron and Soundwave stood, no, _loomed _above him—it made sense that things would look like that if the Seeker double-crossed them, and yet…

And yet it made no sense at all because there it was again—another flare of hot worry suddenly sparked up in Starscream's field. Bumblebee blinked and offlined his optics as waves from Starscream's distressed field washed over his doorwings.

No, that worry in Starscream's field wasn't for himself. Starscream was worried about _Optimus_.

"I…" Starscream began to say something and he grimaced as if it took all his effort to force out each word. "Don't make me say it!" Starscream spat out.

"Say it. Say what you were going to say, traitor," Arcee hissed.

"I…" Starscream looked back down at Optimus's bloodied frame. "I _care _for him." He spoke so softly his words were hardly audible, yet he still spoke them nevertheless.

"Then why are you clutching onto Optimus's bleeding frame if you care for him?!" Bulkhead shouted.

"To protect him, not to hurt him!"

"The only bot here Optimus needs protection from is _you._" Arcee snapped.

"I, I don't—" Starscream began to say and then stopped. The Autobots coldly stared down at him and he heard the quiet whir of their blasters charge up. He'd been able to free himself from tense situations before by using his words to manipulate others. But what was he supposed to do now that his words had lost all meaning? In what way could he possibly proclaim his innocence when they claimed every single one of his words was a lie?

"_It is all perspective, my dear Starscream," _Megatron's voice said. Starscream punched the ground and tried to will away the phantom voice of Megatron laughing in his helm.

"The only reason I'm not shooting you right now is because I think you'll just use Optimus as a shield!" Arcee growled. "Prime has done so much for you. He's shielded you from so many things before, and even now he continues to shield you—"

"Don't make me do this, Autobots," Starscream shook out. He reached a shaking servo behind his back and clutched ahold of something. Bumblebee's spark froze and somehow, he just knew that the Seeker was holding on tightly to something that _wasn't _Optimus.

"What?! Kill him?" Arcee scowled.

"No… don't make this harder than it has to be. Just let us both go home. L-lock me up if you have to, and just… just wait for Optimus to wake up, and he'll explain everything to you!"

Bulkhead scoffed. "And bring a traitorous Con back to base? To the kids? I don't think so. Hand Prime over right now!"

"I can't! He's my only ticket back, don't you understand?! The only bot who can help me escape Megatron—"

"You haven't 'escaped' Megatron. You never did and never will. You've been allied with him all along!" Arcee said.

Bumblebee put a servo on her shoulder. "'_Cee… something's not right here. This is what Megatron wants us to do, he wants us to get mistrustful and leave Starscream behind for Megatron to come and find. Don't fall for it. Stop and think! I mean, why else would Soundwave send us a bunch of footage of him killing Cliff if not to anger us, huh?"_

Arcee scowled. She kept her optics locked onto Starscream and Optimus and gave no indication at all that she even heard what Bumblebee said.

"Starscream, you and I both know this was all a ruse. Don't try to lie to us. We all know you're unable to take the leap to leave the Decepticons. Don't make me shoot you," she said.

Starscream frowned and resignation coiled around him. "No, don't! Don't, just…" He clutched even tighter onto something behind his back. Bumblebee squinted and he swore he saw Starscream trying to type something onto some device hidden behind him.

"Well… wait, I'm confused. If Screamer betrayed us, why'd he go off and run from Buckethead?" Bulkhead asked.

"This all has to be some scheme cooked up by him and Megatron, it has to be!" Arcee growled. Her blasters charged up and Starscream yelped and ducked.

"_Arcee, no, we've already lost too many bots in this war. We need to think about this—"_

"I can contemplate his betrayal after he's dead."

Bumblebee darted forward and pushed her blaster down. "_I don't like him either. And I especially don't like what he did to… to Cliffjumper. But if we kill him in cold blood, are we really much better than him?"_

Arcee's blaster wavered and she looked away.

"Scream…" Bulkhead stepped forward with his servos out placatingly. "So, uh… you killed Cliffjumper."

Starscream blinked. The urge to make a snappy comment about how obvious that was suddenly rose up within him… but there was something about the way Bulkhead awkwardly stepped forward and said the obvious that made the Seeker shut his intake and listen.

"You killed him," Bulkhead continued. Confusion, anger, and pain flashed through his field. "You killed him. And we all saw the look in his optics, we all see the moment Cliff realized what you were going to do to him… and he looked real scared, Screamer. Really really scared."

Bulkhead took a deep vent and his snarl loosened. "And then there we were, back in the mines when Megatron passed by us all, and...well. You were scared. Really scared. As Megatron walked past, you got the same look in your optics that… that Cliff had right before you killed him. And then you got that look in your optics _again _when we walked in on you kneeling over Optimus beside Sounders and Megatron. So..."

Starscream was silent and just stared at the Wrecker with wide optics. Bulkhead's wrecking ball shook and a spasm of anger passed over his faceplate as he began to speak again.

"I don't… really understand all of this slag—but I understand enough, frag it! Don't make me bash your helm in, Scream. 'Cause I'll do that if I have to. We can do this the easy way or the Wrecker way. I just wanna wreck things. But I can tell that… that you're _already _wrecked up. I don't deal with all of this… sad emotional stuff. And I really am resisting the urge to just smash your helm in, I really am. But that's now what Prime would want. So… just get your little aft back to the base, and when Prime wakes up… then we can all decide if I should bash your helm in or not."

"_Don't run again, Starscream. We all understand something isn't right here—we know if you're really guilty of anything here, we're just not sure how guilty you are or what you're even guilty of," _Bumblebee warbled. "_Don't run again."_

"I don't… I'm tired of running, slag it, but how do I know you won't just shoot me the moment I walk back into base?!" Starscream choked out.

"How do we know you won't do the same?" Arcee asked cooly.

"I don't—" Starscream punched the ground in frustration. "You took my weapons away, how can I shoot you in the back if I can't even shoot? I can't fight back, slag it, so stop trying to fight _me_!"

A bright green light shone through the woods and the air shifted. The air began to buzz.

"Oh, no. No, no, no!" Starscream panicked. He knew what that shift in the air meant and where that buzzing noise came from—

"_Oh, Starscream, oh Optimus!" _Megatron's voice boomed through the trees. The trees snapped and bent to the side as Megatron heaved his massive frame through them. His two red optics shine like miniature suns deep within the woods as he barreled towards them at full speed.

"I need to go—" Starscream yelped. He stood up and hefted Optimus over his shoulder as he reached his servo back under his cockpit to grab ahold of the remote again.

Bumblebee darted forward and grabbed ahold of Starscream's wrist. His spark flared and his wings snapped open as he suddenly turned around to face the scout.

Bumblebee transformed his blaster away and just looked at Starscream.

"_Please," _he began with raw desperation in his voice, "_don't run from us again. You can take this leap."_

"I have to! I don't know if you'll hurt me—"

"_You're hurting yourself by running—"_

"Once we were brothers!" Megatron shouted as his frame crashed through the trees. He burst into the clearing and shot out a massive bolt of pure energy from his fusion cannon. It ripped through the air and slammed into the ground between Starscream and Bumblebee's pedes. The two of them jumped backwards and away from the sizzling blaster mark in the ground. Starscream and Bumblebee looked at each other from across the smoking ground.

"_Please, just jump over the burning ground, come on, come to me—!"_

Starscream bit his lip and felt blood well up. "I'm not ready to take that leap yet, Bumblebee!"

"Once we were brothers. Once. Now we are just enemies." Megatron stalked into the woods and transformed one of his servos into a sleek sharp blade.

Bumblebee looked at him pleadingly, the Autobots watched with wide optics, Megatron stared at him with a mad glint in his optics—and Starscream looked away from all of them. He grabbed ahold of the remote as Megatron began to run towards them.

"Stay back!" Arcee shouted as all of the Autobots began to fire upon Megatron. The blaster bolts harmlessly sizzled across his armor. Megatron ignored every single one of them and continued to run right at Starscream.

"Starscream, _Starscream—!_"

Starscream punched the activate button on the groundbridge and opened up a groundbridge.

He shrieked as he clutched ahold of Optimus's arm and dragged both of their frames through the groundbridge. Megatron ran right up the groundbridge as it closed and swiped his arm through the air where it had once been. He stumbled backward and roared as smoke curled away from his singed arm.

"We need to go!" Arcee said as she commed Ratchet. A new groundbridge opened up.

"You!" Megatron snarled as he stomped towards them. "You just had to go and chase him off again, didn't you?"

"We wouldn't need to be chasin' them down if you didn't scare them off in the first place!" Bulkhead shouted.

Bumblebee looked up at Megatron's massive hulk of a frame and took a shuddering vent. It would be easy to just run through the bridge and leave the warlord behind, it would be so easy—but if he did that, he would also leave answers behind.

"_Megatron,_" Bumblebee shook out as he stepped right in front of the warlord, "_Did Starscream betray us or not?"_

Megatron just stared at him for a moment. Then he laughed.

"Oh, he has betrayed all of us! He has betrayed you, he has betrayed the rest of the Decepticons, but most of all, he has betrayed _me._"

"_But then why were you standing with him besides Soundwave?"_

"Standing 'with' him? You have much to learn, little scout. I was standing _over _him, not with him. Starscream shall never again stand beside another mech who is not me, never. He dared to stand beside Optimus—" Megatron clenched his talon into a fist, "—so he must therefore withstand my punishment."

Arcee's jaw dropped.

"'Bee, Arcee! We gotta go!" Bulkhead called from the bridge.

Bumblebee ran away from Megatron as the warlord laughed behind him.

"Oh, flee, flee, flee! Everybody runs from me, but when Prime is dead and the Autobots decimated, you will run _to _me. Soon, everybody will learn that. But first, I must ensure that my rogue second understands that."

Bumblebee leaped through the bridge and took one last look back at Megatron as he jumped through. Megatron just stared at him with a sharp smile on his faceplate and a twitch in his optics. The bright green light of the bridge overwhelmed everything, and then Megatron was gone.

It still felt like he was there, though.

The Autobots stumbled back into the base.

"Track him, Ratchet!" Arcee snarled. "Find Starscream. Find. Him."

Ratchet looked at them all with wide optics and then silently turned back to the computer console. Bulkhead stomped off into the shadows of the hall and the sound of something breaking crashed through the air. For once, Ratchet didn't say anything.

"Did you find him?" Jack asked from the mezzanine.

"We did, but… he would not allow himself to be caught," Arcee grit out.

"Is Starscream okay?" Raf asked.

"What, you're concerned about him?" Arcee said as she crossed her arms. "Optimus could very well be dead because of him!"

"Well, it's just… what you've said… it seems like a trap." Raf spoke so quietly her audials strained to hear him.

"Of course! Starscream led Prime right into a trap… I think."

"No, I mean…" Raf looked off to the side and bit his lip as he tried to find the words. "I think the trap is meant for _you, _Arcee."

She blinked. "What?"

Bumblebee held his servos up appeasingly. "'_Cee, it's just that… Bulkhead and I talked about it, and doesn't it seem strange that Soundwave showed us footage that he knew would make us angry at Starscream, and that he would then give us a perfect opportunity to hurt Starscream?"_

Bulkhead walked back into the main room while breathing heavily. There was a dent in his wrecking ball. "Seems an awful lot like Sounders just wants us to beat the Seeker into the ground for us," Bulkhead said as he awkwardly scratched his neck cabling.

"What, so even if Soundwave is trying to manipulate us into hurting Starscream, what's so wrong with that? That Seeker's got it coming!" Arcee scowled.

Bumblebee shook his helm. "_No, 'Cee… you're sounding like a Decepticon."_

Arcee's jaw dropped. "Me? A Decepticon? You're saying I sound like a Decepticon right after a Con just snatched up Prime, is that what you're saying?"

Bumblebee drew himself up to his full height and locked his armor together. "_Yes."_

"Well, Starscream needs to be offlined. He hurt Cliffjumper, he's hurt so many over the years—"

"—_And now Soundwave is taking advantage of your anger to manipulate you."_

Arcee went silent and just glared at Bumblebee.

"_Just… think on it, okay? Please?" _He trilled sadly.

Arcee's armor locked up. "The only thing I can think about at the moment is saving Optimus."

"_But did you not hear what he said? Megatron said he wants to punish Starscream. They're not aligned in any way at all. Starscream didn't betray us and you know that."_

Arcee went silent and bit her lip.

"_You know that, don't you? You just want to kill him for Cliffjumper."_

Arcee crossed her arms and looked away.

"_We need to find him! And if Starscream is there, and he is really innocent—"_

She scowled and walked off into the shadows of the base.

"—_Then we risk making a terrible mistake." _Bumblebee let out a heavy vent and watched her walk off.


	11. Broken Brotherhood

They tumbled out into a canyon. Starscream hurriedly shut the groundbridge behind him and screamed in frustration. Every single attempt to convince the Autobots of his innocence always ended in disaster. They would not dare to shoot him while he had their precious leader in his lap, though. But it was only a matter of time before enough was enough and he found himself looking right at a bright blue blaster bolt. He had to keep trying, though.

"Starscream… I will convince them," Optimus said. His field weakly wavered around him and his optics flickered. His entire midsection was now blue thanks to all of the spilt energon.

"What, and how will you do that? Will you really be able to get a word in past their insane rambling?" Starscream scoffed.

Optimus looked up at him. "I _have _to. I cannot lose another soldier… especially due to friendly fire."

"They are not my friends, Optimus. They never were."

"They _could _be."

"No, slag it, Prime, you just don't get it! They're not friendly! We're not on the same side, not really."

"All of you are on _my _side. That makes you allies, even though they do not understand that at the moment."

"I'm… on your side?" Starscream said quietly. He looked up and a jolt of recognition shook his frame. This was the canyon Optimus had found him in. He could still see their pedeprints scattered across the dusty canyon floor and he could even see the metal cuffs he had banged off of his wings behind a rock.

"Yes, Starscream. Yes, you are on the Autobot side. You… are not quite ready to become an Autobot yet. Not yet. But you will be."

"What, so I'm on the Autobot side, but at the same time I'm not an Autobot? You're just not 'ready' to make me a member of your team?" Starscream scowled. He didn't know why he was getting frustrated over this. The Autobots were currently trying to kill him, yet he still found himself yearning to return to their base and his cramped cell. He he felt more comfortable in that dusty concrete silo than in any Decepticon warship. That used to confuse him, but now… now he understood the reason he felt safe in the base. And that reason was currently dying in his arms.

"You will be a member of our time when you accept that _you _are ready." Optimus shut his optics and a shudder went through his frame.

"...What?"

A harsh blast of wind blew through the canyon and dust flew everywhere. Starscream froze. The air was still and calm, there shouldn't be any bursts of wind.

"And there we stood, together, with Cybertron in our servos, and you _gave it up! _And for _what? _Some traitorous wretch? Oh, Starscream, we could've had the world, but you chose to have _nothing._" Megatron's voice growled through the canyon. His voice echoed through the curved canyon and through the dry air.

"Slag it!" Starscream harshly whispered as he punched the ground. He needed more time, he needed to be able to rest with Optimus and try to patch up his wound.

"How did they find us?" Optimus frowned. He tried to stand up but ended up just heavily leaning against the rock wall instead.

"I… I don't know. I mean, we're both masking our signals! You're masking your signal, right?"

Optimus groaned and slid to the ground. "We can't keep running, Starscream."

"Yes, yes we can, okay? I've spent my entire life running from things, I'll just bridge us somewhere new and—"

"We… the Autobots, Starscream. They're our only hope. You _cannot _allow yourself to fall b-back into his servos. I do not know what awaits you on the Nemesis."

Megatron's laughter echoed in the air. "You can hide, yes you can, but you cannot hide forever. The raw and terrible truth will soon come to life and expose you as the ignorant, spineless wretch you truly are. Your shame will be bared to the world and only I will be able to save you from destroying yourself. It is the way of things, Starscream. Don't make me angry!" Megatron hissed. His voice echoed and bounced through the canyon and the rocks around Starscream's pedes began to vibrate as the warlord drew closer and closer.

"I will convince the Autobots, Starscream. I _will_. We just need to find them, I will shield you," Optimus said.

Starscream gulped. He didn't know if he could relive that awful day so long ago when he blurted out the truth of Cliffjumper's death. He didn't know if he could go up against the insane femme a second time. Starscream was just grateful that Arcee didn't know specifically _how _Cliffjumper died—he had that at least, right?

Optimus sensed his hesitation and put his energon-covered servo over Starscream's chestplate. Megatron's insane shouts grew more and more incoherent until he just angrily growled and frothed in rage.

"Starscream…" Optimus began. "I _will _shield you. I won't let them shoot you."

"Slag it, Prime! You're the one bleeding out here! I should be the one protecting you, not the other way around!"

Optimus offlined his optics and leaned against the rock as his field shuddered in pain. Megatron's insane laughter echoed through the canyon.

"I'll take us somewhere new, somewhere where the Autobots will hopefully find us first—except, slag it, what's to stop the Decepticons from showing up first?! How do they keep _finding _us?" Starscream moaned.

Optimus groaned in pain and said nothing.

"We could've had everything…" Megatron's voice was very quiet now. "_Everything… _Iacon, Kaon, the Sea of Rust—" Megatron continued to ramble on. He was getting closer.

"How do they keep finding us?! I need… I need to think, slag it, I need to think—"

"Tarnis, the Well, the Towers, the Academy, _Vos, _we could've had it all—" Megatron hissed out. His voice boomed from around the corner.

"How did he find us?" Starscream moaned as he held his servos in his helm. Optimus sensed his anxiety and he placed a shaky servo upon Starscream's chestplate.

"We will find out how he keeps locating us later o-on. He can find us, we just cannot let him catch us."

His bloodied servo slid down Starscream's chestplate and left behind a trail of energon across his Decepticon insignia.

Starscream blinked and looked down at his insignia.

"We could've had _Earth, _we could have had the whole universe, Starscream, but in the end you chose to have nothing. You have nothing, you _are _nothing, and I… am _everything!_" Megatron snarled. The ground began to shake even more as he drew closer and closer.

Starscream touched a sharky servo to his chestplate and his optics widened. "My… my insignia! Oh, Primus, Optimus, I think they're tracking me through my Decepticon badge," Starscream breathed out. He remembered the day it had been burnt into his frame. It had hurt so much; hot smoke and sparks had curled right out of his chestplate as the badge had been embedded into his frame as a smiling Megatron had watched on. _Embedded right into his frame._

"Optimus, my badge isn't just some piece of metal in the shape of the Decepticon symbol—I think it's a tracker!" Starscream wiped the energon away from his badge and watched it glint in the light.

"You think you can run, little Seeker? I will always find you, always. Even when you think you are safely hidden away, you are still unable to escape my all-seeing gaze," Megatron snarled. His shadow loomed on the wall of the canyon.

"I need… I need to get rid of it," Starscream breathed. He placed his claws right on his badge and felt his spark freeze in his chestplates. His talons were so close to his sparkchamber—just one wrong move and he'd die the same way Cliffjumper did.

Optimus blearily looked at him and pulled Starscream closer to his bleeding frame. Megatron's shadow grew larger and larger and his laughter echoed through the canyon.

Starscream took a deep vent, prayed to Primus that his guess was right, and shoved his talons into his chestplate. A cry of pain rose up in his throat and he bit down hard into his gloss to prevent it from escaping. Blood welled into his intake. He sharply grabbed ahold of the insignia and felt something within him snap and break as he tore it right out of him. Energon poured out from the deep slash mark on his chest and he held a servo to his bleeding chestplate. He tossed the Decepticon brand far away and into the air with a pained shriek.

It landed right in front of Megatron's pedes. He stopped stomping forward and looked down at the piece of metal that had landed on the ground in front of him. Confusion fizzled in Megatron's field—

—Starscream grabbed ahold of the groundbridge temote and typed in a new set of coordinates, they had to escape because he knew precisely what Megatron would do next—

—and the confusion in Megatron's field rapidly faded and was replaced with understanding.

Pure wrath smoldered in Megatron's field as he knelt down to pick up the energon-covered insignia in the dust. He held the badge in his servo and his optics twitched at the sight of the bloody and broken Decepticon logo. Megatron looked up at Starscream and his optics glowed redder than they ever had before. He clenched his servo and the badge crumbled to dust.

"You… you _wretch, _how dare you! How dare you throw away the honor I gave you! I made you everything that you are, do you know that? You can cut the badge away from your frame, Starscream, but you can never cut me out of your life. Starscream—!" Megatron roared and charged right at Starscream.

Starscream yelped and hurriedly activated the new groundbridge. The air shimmered and wavered as a green spark of light hovered above the ground. A groundbridge flickered to life in the air in front of them—

—and then vanished in a bright white flash.

"What?! No! No! Work, you stupid thing!" Starscream swore as he punched in the coordinates a second time.

His frame was suddenly thrown to the side and he found himself being thrown against a rock. Optimus had his servos on him and dragged him farther away behind the massive boulders strewn around the canyon. Megatron crashed forward and struck his sword down right into the place upon the ground where Starscream had been sitting.

"Optimus, the remote, it's not working—" Starscream began to say. Optimus placed his servo on his intake to quiet him and squinted down at the bleeding mess that was Starscream's torn chestplate.

"Starscream, I want you to understand that even if we do get captured—" Optimus groaned as another wave of pain went through his frame, "—that I will still try my best to shield you."

Starscream just stared at him. He wracked his processor for a response to say and came up with nothing. "I don't know what to say," he breathed.

Megatron stalked around the canyon in wide circles as he scanned the rocks for any sign of Starscream and Optimus.

"Do you remember how we once hid from the Council, Orion? All the years we spent hiding away together in old ruins as the insane Enforcers marched past? Things were rough back then, Orion, but we always made it in the end. But I suppose things have changed, haven't they? _No, _now it is the cowards who hide away and the justice and righteous who march past, yes. The just and righteous.

"What about Vos, Starscream? Don't you remember Vos? I thought you loved your people, so why don't you love me? You can only avenge your people through _me, _after all. Once I find you I will _take _you and I will ensure that you will have no other symbol on your fame other than the Decepticon one, and this time, I will make sure that you won't be able to remove it. You can never remove yourself from me, Orion—I mean, Starscream. Never."

A new groundbridge opened up and hope soared in Starscream's spark. Finally, the stupid remote had actually worked and—

"_Megatron!" _Arcee shrieked as she ran out of the groundbridge. Bumblebee and Bulkhead ran right after her with their blasters extended.

"Ah, so _this _is what Orion and Starscream betrayed me for," Megatron said. He looked over the Autobots and his field crinkled in disgust. "I… I expected more. So much more."

Arcee growled in Megatron's faceplate. "What did you do to Optimus? Where is Starscream?"

"I am trying to help Optimus realize the depth of the Seeker's deception, two-wheeler. As for where the wretch is… I do not know. He is here, though. I can tell. I know the traitor's frame better than I know my own frame, better than even _he _knows. I designed his frame, after all."

Starscream froze behind the rock. Optimus looked at him with wide optics.

"I designed you, Starscream. I designed this war. And when I win this war, my grand design will be complete and I will design a new Cybertron!" Megatron hissed as he continued to stalk around the canyon.

Bulkhead and Bumblebee looked at each other.

"_Did he just call Starscream a traitor?"_ Bumblebee quietly beeped.

Bulkhead nodded. "He did, 'Bee, he did. Are… are we going after the wrong guy?"

Starscream scowled. There was no way Optimus could talk to the Autobots and convince them of Starscream's innocence while Megatron was right there. Starscream grabbed ahold of the remote and shakily typed in the new set of coordinates. They just had to bridge to the Harbinger, yes, it was nearby and they could defend themselves in there. Everything would be fine, they just had to hope that the groundbridge worked. The tracker in the badge was gone now, so the Autobots should find them first, yes, and they had to wait for the Autobots to find them, then hope that Optimus could somehow miraculously convince them Starscream was on their side, and then—

Starscream slammed down on the activate button. The air shimmered and another bright green groundbridge suddenly roared to life. He hefted Optimus's arm over his shoulder and made a run right for the bridge. Megatron and the Autobots watched with wide optics as they ran right for the bridge—

The bridge exploded and sent Optimus and Starscream flying backwards. Starscream landed on a sharp rock and watched the groundbridge dissipate away in a shower of sparks.

"_You!" _Arcee shrieked as she transformed and drove right towards the two of them at full speed.

Starscream yelped and shakily grabbed ahold of the remote. He typed in the coordinates yet again and right as he was halfway through typing—

A new groundbridge suddenly came to life in the air right in front of them. Primus, it had _worked. _It took a few moments, but the remote finally managed to generate a groundbridge. He hadn't even finished in typing the coordinates yet, so it was strange that the bridge had already appeared—but he didn't have time to consider that. Starscream grabbed ahold of Optimus and began to drag both the Prime and himself towards the bridge.

Arcee transformed back into her root-mode and flipped into the air. Her blades flashed in the light as she swung towards Starscream—

Starscream yelped and leaped forward. Something sharp bit into his calf and he twisted around just in time to kick Arcee backward with his pedes.

She slammed backward into a rock and hissed at Starscream. "Traitor! I won't let you kill him the same way you killed Cliffjumper!"

Starscream ignored her and grabbed Optimus's servo. He made a run for the bridge, he didn't have time for this—

"Will you also stab Prime through his chestplate?"

Starscream froze. He turned around and just stared at Arcee. "How…?"

Arcee coughed up energon and stood back up. "Soundwave showed us your crimes. He showed _all _of us just what you did to Cliffjumper. And now I am going to make you pay!" Arcee ran right back at him with her blaster extended.

Starscream shrieked and grabbed onto Optimus. He heaved them both through the groundbridge as shock blared through his field.

She knew. They all knew.

Bumblebee knew, Bulkhead knew, Ratchet knew—_Primus._

Starscream fell out of the groundbridge and onto the cold hard ground. He coughed up energon and held a servo to his bleeding chest as he readjusted his optics to the darkness of the Harbinger's bridge.

He blinked. He didn't bridge them to the bridge of the Harbinger, that was in the other half of the crashed ship. He bridged them to the main room of the second functional half of the Harbinger, so how—?

The bridge lit up with a bright shade of purple. Soundwave stood right in front of him. Sparks flew from his cracked visor and icy water pooled under his pedes as he stared right at Starscream with a single blood-red optic.

Starscream blinked and felt his breath rush out of his vents all at once as he looked over not the bridge of the Harbginer,

"How? Just… how?"

"Starscream, that new bridge that appeared… that wasn't the remote's bridge, that was Soundwave's bridge." Optimus coughed beside him. Energon poured out from his midsection again and two drones stood over him with their blasters pointed directly as his chestplates.

Pure dread filled Starscream. He lashed out and tried to claw Soundwave, but a violet cable suddenly wrapped itself around his wrist and threw him to the ground. Soundwave crawled over him until his cracked visor loomed right in front of Starscream. His helm tilted downwards and he looked at the slashmarks on Starscream's chestplate where his insignia had once been.

"Soundwave, no, _don't, don't—"_

Soundwave dug his long thin digits into the crack in Starscream's chestplates and began to wrench the plates of metal apart. Starscream gasped in vain and desperately kicked to get Soundwave off of him as he felt his cockpit shatter and energon well up in his internals.

Starscream had hardly ever felt Soundwave's field before, yet there it was. It hung over the two of them like a hot fizzling cloud of hissing static radiating rage, pure rage. His single visible optic narrowed and he dug his digits deeper into Starscream's chestplate.

"Starscream!" Optimus shouted. He tried to move forward to help him, but the drones held him back and pulled him away.

"_We must bring justice, Starscream. Justice!" _Soundwave said using a recording of Megatron's voice.

The bridge flashed as Megatron walked through the bridge. His optics lit up and his field exploded in a storm of static as he saw Optimus and Starscream before him.

"You thought you could escape, you really did. How… amusing. Did you seriously think you could flee from me? You couldn't flee from the Enforcers without _my help_, you couldn't flee from any of your enemies without _my help_, so what made you think you could flee from _me_?" Megatron laughed. "The brothers are together again!"

"JUSTICE," Soundwave said. He played the recording of Megatron's voice again, except this time it was ten times louder and ten times more distorted.

He loomed over Starscream until all Starscream could see was his broken visor spark and flicker right above him. Hot pain exploded in Starscream's chestplate as his struts and internal lining snapped and broke apart as Soundwave yanked his chestplate open and he was—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

Soundwave was thrown backwards as a blaster bolt slammed into him. Arcee stood in the mouth of the groundbridge with Bumblebee and Bulkhead right behind her.

"Give. Us. _Prime!_"

A cruel smile spread across Megatron's faceplate as the groundbridge vanished behind the Autobots. More drones rushed into the bridge and swarmed the entire room. The Autobots raised their blasters and the fight began.

Megatron ignored the flying blaster bolts and angry battle going around him. He slowly turned around and walked right over to Starscream.

"It is good to see you again, my rogue second."

Starscream spat energon out onto the deck. "I-I don't return the feeling!"

"Oh, but you will." Megatron leaned down and helped Starscream up to his pedes. His voice was soft, so soft. "You will soon learn to appreciate me again. The both of you. And then my grand design shall be _complete._"

"You've gone insane!" Starscream shrieked. He tried to step away from Megatron, but for every step he took backwards, Megatron took one step forward.

Bumblebee and Bulkhead cut down the drones attacking them left and right. Bumblebee briefly glanced over at Megatron looming over Starscream and his optics widened. He nudged Bulkhead's shoulder and the Wrecker also looked over with wide optics.

Megatron grinned. "On the contrary, Starscream. I am the only sane bot alive. I will make you see that. I will make _all _of you see that."

He welcomingly reached out his servo and a tight smile spread across his faceplate.

Starscream had made the mistake of taking that servo once. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

He ran and narrowly dodged a volley of blasterfire as he slid over to Optimus. Energon was smeared all over Optimus's frame and his vents breathed heavily as he stared blankly at the floor.

"Optimus, it's me! It's me—"

"Your _brother?!_" Megatron spat. "Even after I have explained to you the depths of your folly, you continue to indulge yourself in illusions of brotherhood! I am the only brother you have ever had or will ever need!"

"No, M-megatron. _No,_" Optimus said as he slowly raised his helm to look at Megatron.

Megatron's optics twitched. "No?! _No?_"

"_No," _Optimus repeated more firmly.

"First you conspire to take the Primacy from me… then you conspired to take my second… and now you dare conspire to take away my sanity?"

"You have already lost yourself, Megatron. Your own conspiring is what brought you to your end. You are all burnt up, Megatron."

"I have not lost myself, I am more alive than ever before!" Megatron snarled as he grabbed ahold of Starscream and threw him at Optimus. "Fine then! You two 'siblings' clearly want each other more than you want me. I do not need you, I don't! I need no Matrix nor brother to make myself great, for I am _already _great. I am great. I am great." Megatron repeatedly whispered to himself as his talons flexed by his sides.

Optimus and Starscream glanced at each other as Megatron continued to ramble on.

Bulkhead and Bumblebee leaped in front of Megatron and began to attack him. The warlord snarled and fought both of them as they flipped and leaped around him. Bulkhead growled as he swung his wrecking ball directly into Megatron's faceplate. Bumblebee quickly glanced back at Starscream and narrowed his optics at the Seeker.

"_I am giving you an opportunity to keep Optimus safe. Don't make me regret this, Starscream," _Bumblebee said.

Starscream hefted the Prime's arm over his shoulders and dragged him out of the bridge and into the hall. The Autobots and Decepticons were so busy firing at each other and battling that they failed to notice them slip out of the room.

"Starscream, what is the plan?" Optimus said. His optics flickered again.

"The plan as of right now is to run, Prime! Now move your pedes!"

Starscream dragged Optimus behind him down the endless corridors of the Nemesis. They left a trail of blood behind.

* * *

"I've never seen him this angry before!" Bulkhead shouted as Soundwave lunged through the air after him. He dodged just in time and Soundwave smashed into a nearby computer console. His cables lashed out at the last moment and he wrapped them around the nearby pillars in order to skid to a stop. Soundwave turned around and his single red optic flashed before he lunged back into the battle.

"Where did Optimus and Starscream go?" Arcee grunted as she sliced a drone's neck with her arm-blades.

Bumblebee fired off a round of shots at Soundwave and turned around to face the two of them. "_I… I let them go."_

Arcee's jaw dropped. "You _what? _You let Optimus get carried off by that slagger?!"

"_I had to! Megatron was right on them!"_ Bumblebee beeped in alarm. He turned around and his optics widened. "_Uh… what is he doing?"_

Megatron just stood there in the doorway and stared off into the hallway Optimus and Starscream had ran down. His optics twitched and his talons rapidly curled and uncurled by his sides as he stared off into the darkness.

"Oh, Primus, Megs is losing it!" Bulkhead shouted as he swung his wrecking ball at another drone. A hammer suddenly shot down and slammed his ball into the ground.

"The Prime is ours, Bulk!" Breakdown snarled. He raised his hammer and the two of them began to fight.

Bumblebee ran for the door. If he could find them both, then—

Electricity sizzled across Bumblebee's frame and he fell to the ground with a cry. Knock Out stepped right over him and twirled his electro-prod around in the air. Bright blue and red blaster bolts flew across the room and lit up the bridge in brilliant flashes of light.

"We need to reach Prime!" Arcee shouted. She transformed and drove at the doorway at full speed. Something violet flashed in the air and Arcee was thrown to the side of the deck with a shout. Soundwave stood there with his cables all splayed out in the air around his shaking frame.

"NO. YOU WILL NOT. MY LORD…" Soundwave spoke using voice clips of Starscream strung together.

Arcee snarled at him. "Don't you dare speak using that traitor's voice!"

Soundwave just considered her for a moment. An emotion suddenly flared into his field—was that a sense of _victory?_—and then vanished just as quickly. He turned around to face Megatron and his servos locked up into fists by his sides.

"_My Lord…" _he said with a clip of Starscream's voice.

Megatron said nothing. He continued to stare off into the depths as the battle raged around him.

Soundwave stepped closer to him until they were right in front of each other. Something akin to frustration coiled in his field before it disappeared in a hiss of static.

"_My Lord?" _Soundwave repeated using the voice clip of Starscream.

Megatron continued to just stare off into space.

Soundwave's visor flared. "_What's with this w-whole elaborate plan?" _he said using yet another voice clip of Starscream.

Megatron's talon lashed out and he suddenly grabbed ahold of Soundwave's arm. "Do not dare speak to me using _his _voice! I have grown tired of hearing his screeching for millennia and I do not desire to listen to it for even a moment more. The only words that should ever come out of that traitor's intake again are words of forgiveness and praise meant for _me, _do understand that? We do not speak with the voice of traitors here, do you understand? Do you, Soundwave, do you?"

Soundwave just stared at him. He gave a single nod and slowly pulled his servo away from Megatron's grasp.

Megatron's optics flashed. "Good. The brothers have escaped, it would seem. Not for long, though. They are in my domain now and must be retrieved at all costs!"

Soundwave nodded and began to walk down the hallway. Megatron suddenly grabbed ahold of his arm and wrenched him back until they were faceplate to faceplate.

"Oh, my dear Soundwave… you have failed me. Optimus was supposed to be disgusted by the carnage upon the command deck and dispose of Starscream—instead, the two of them are off fleeing together. Your elaborate plan to divide them just ended up uniting them! No, I shall take care of this matter _myself_." Megatron left Soundwave standing there and he stalked off down the hall.

The battle paused for a moment and everybody stopped and looked at Soundwave. His thin servos clenched into fists by his sides and he slowly turned back around.

A groundbridge opened up and Ratchet rushed through. "I got your signal, Bumblebee! Where is Optimus?!"

Bumblebee pointed his blasters right at Soundwave. "_Starscream took him! We're going to have to fight our way through to them!"_

Ratchet scowled and transformed both of his servos into his blades. "Then let's get this over with."

Soundwave lunged, and the battle began again.

* * *

Starscream grunted as he kicked another drone to the side.

"They're fragging _everywhere,_" Starscream sighed.

Optimus leaned against the wall and watched Starscream with a tight field. The endless halls of the Nemesis stretched on ahead of them and behind them with no escape in sight.

"We will get out of this, stop worrying!" Starscream said.

"Starscream…"

"I said 'stop worrying'!"

"Please calm down—"

"_Stop worrying!" _Starscream shouted as he leaned down to look Optimus in the optics. "We will be fine, we will be fine—"

Optimus grabbed ahold of his shaking pauldron and pulled him close. "Yes. We will be fine. I am not the person worrying here, Starscream."

"What—you should be! You're the person here bleeding out and getting hunted by Megatron!"

Optimus shook his helm. "I have been through… much worse before. I will be fine. But you… you are Megatron's true target here. He is not hunting me, I am merely just a bonus to him. You…"

The hall clanged as something stomped down it.

"...you are the one here who is in true danger."

Starscream moaned and let his helm fall forward into his servos. "I don't know what to do, Prime. Everybody wants to capture me or kill me."

He thought of the dusty Autobot base and its cramped cell and judgemental stares. It was a strange, dusty, and rather dirty place—

Megatron roared as he stomped down the hall.

—but it was the only place in the past thousand years where he had felt safe.

"I'm not going to get to go back to base with you, am I?" Starscream asked softly.

Optimus frowned and offlined his optics. "Their rage blinds them and they will be difficult to reason with. But I will try to reason with them to the very best of my ability."

"Oh, Optimus, they _know!_" Starscream cried out.

The Prime blinked. "What do they know?"

"About… about Cliffjumper!"

Optimus frowned.

"Soundwave sent them the same footage, they saw how I killed him and—" Starscream rubbed his servos down his faceplate and leaned heavily against the wall.

"Starscream…"

"—and they are going to try to kill me the same way I killed him, do you know that, Prime? They will! They most certainly will!" Starscream laughed bitterly.

"I will not let that happen."

"What, you think you can stop them? Really?"

Optimus sighed and leaned against the wall beside Starscream. "I have managed to save bots from… themselves. I have prevented bots from committing terrible crimes before. I can do it again."

Starscream scoffed. "Oh? You really think you can stop that insane femme, her two grunts, and the medic? Really? You think you can save them from themselves, huh? Well, you sure failed to save Megatron from himself! Tell me, which bots out there did you rescue from themselves—tell me, which bots out there did you stop from committing some oh so terrible crimes, hmm?"

Optimus looked up and his optics flashed. "You."

Starscream froze. "...Oh."

They just sat there in silence.

"We will keep fighting and running from the drones. We will then loop our way back to the bridge and hopefully my team will have managed to secure it. I will talk to them, and then we will clear up this misunderstanding and return to base."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Oh, it always sounds so _simple._"

"You are right. It is not that simple. It will be very difficult for them to see past their hatred of you and what you have done to Cliffjumper. It is not easy to move past such crimes."

Starscream's spark froze. "...But wait, just to be certain… you do want me back? Even after you saw all of the Enforcers I killed on the... the command deck? I mean, do you really want me back after… seeing what I did?"

Optimus frowned and offlined his optics.

Dread pooled in Starscream's gut.

"Go ahead. Say it," Starscream whispered.

Prime just continued to stare at the wall as his field wavered around him.

"I said, just go ahead and _say it!_" Starscream shrieked.

"So you finally came clean."

Starscream blinked. He opened his intake and no words came out.

Optimus let out a deep sigh. "You tried to hide your crimes from me… but I already knew about them."

"W-what? You… already _knew_?" Starscream gaped.

Optimus nodded solemnly.

"I don't…" Starscream stuttered. "You led us to the ship while knowing what kind of carnage I'd left behind there? You knew about… about Cliffjumper?"

Optimus gave a single nod.

"But… then why did you lead us to the ship if you knew about the Enforcers I killed on the deck? I mean, you knew of the horrors there, yet you still led us right there! _Why?_"

"Because we needed the supplies that ship could have potentially had, Starscream. But more importantly, I needed you to come clean. You cannot truly become an Autobot until you acknowledge and accept the pain and suffering you have inflicted upon others. Inflicting pain and suffering is the very antithesis of the Autobot code and you must accept that you have already broken the code many times in order to be able to finally truly accept it. I wanted to see if you would deny your sins, or accept what you have done and repent."

Starscream laughed a harsh and bitter laugh. "What, so both you _and _Megatron are using my past crimes against me! He wanted you to see my sins and get angry at me and then drop me from the team, a-and you just wanted to see if-f I felt _bad _for killing all of these mechs!"

Optimus dipped his helm. "I had no idea what kind of trap Megatron and Soundwave had planned for us there. Had I known, I would have never led us both there and I would have ensured that you stayed away from that ship for the rest of your function. I did not foresee any of this."

"But you knew their frames were there! You did plan on leading me there so that I could see all of the… Enforcers I killed."

"I needed to know if you truly regretted your past actions. When we were both at base, I could have just asked you if you repented what you had done… I could have done that, yes. But time and new memories dulls the pain of past memories and I wanted you to truly understand the depth of your past evil before you claimed to no longer be evil. I did not want you to confess guilt and remorse for a crime you hardly remembered committing. I wanted you to truly and fully understand the depth of your past sins so that you can properly try to make up for them later on."

"Oh, so did I pass your test, Prime? Did I get a good score, a gold star, perhaps?" Starscream sniffled as he wiped away something wet on his faceplates. He blinked and looked down at coolant on his servo. He moaned and hid his leaking optics in his servos.

"Starscream… I knew the Enforcer's frames were there. I had no idea there would be so many, though, and I especially did not know that their deaths were that brutal. I did not predict the full depth of—"

"—My past evil?" Starscream finished.

Optimus was silent for a moment.

"So… did I pass your test? What if I had failed? Are you going to drop me off for Megatron to find? Are… are you? I can't let myself go back to him. Now that I have had my first taste of freedom, I cannot bear to give it up. I refuse to live another day under his shadow, Prime! You can cast me off into the wilderness and I will survive, Prime! I'll go rogue if I have to! But please don't…" Starscream trailed off as his voice hitched. "Don't make me beg. _Don't. _I'm tired of begging and pleading and—just don't… make me fight for my freedom again."

"You passed, Starscream," Optimus said as he grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder and turned the Seeker to look at him. "You passed the moment you apologized."

Starscream blinked. "I apologized? When did I do that?"

"After Soundwave dragged you away and I found you again. You were apologizing for Megatron's sins… and you accidentally apologized for one of your own."

Starscream's wings fell behind him and he just let a heavy vent. "I… I don't even know what to say anymore, Prime. It's been a long time since somebody has confused me this much. Are you going to make me suffer for… the Enforcers?"

Optimus stared at the frames and thought for a moment. "In a way… I think you already have. You had nightmares because of this past crime. You felt a huge amount of fear, paranoia, and anxiety. I have seen Megatron leave behind much worse devastation than you have, Starscream. Back when…"

"...when you were still brothers and killed the towersmecha?"

Optimus frowned and nodded as he relived the memory. "Yes. Back when he killed them all, I could not offline my optics without seeing their frames for many months. The image still returns to haunt me from time to time, the same way the image of the Enforcer's frames will haunt you forever."

"Oh, delightful!" Starscream scoffed. "I'll get to be haunted by my past sins for the rest of my function."

"To be haunted by your sins means that you regret your sins, and by simply regretting what you have done here you are already a much better mech than Megatron."

Starscream snorted. "Is being better than Megatron _really _an accomplishment? You're setting the bar rather low, Prime."

"The bar must be set somewhere, Starscream."

"So what, am I an Autobot now?"

"No. Not yet. Not until you make up for what you've done."

Starscream shook his helm and let out a keen. "Optimus, I have killed… so many. I can't possibly undo all of those crimes. I'd have to spend the rest of my function to make up for doing all of this!"

Optimus turned to look at him. His optics had been dim just moments before, but in that brief moment they blazed with light. "Then do precisely that, Starscream. Spend the rest of your function making up for your crimes. You will never be able to undo those crimes, no. But you can try and make up for them by preventing other bots from committing crimes just like what you did. Do what the mechs you killed would have done if they were still alive. Do good deeds in their memory and try to make up for them."

"Like… for Cliffjumper?"

Optimus nodded and gave a small smile. It was a very small smile, but a smile nevertheless. "Precisely."

"So… just to be clear, you are not leaving me behind in this hall for Megatron to find?"

"Starscream, do you remember what I told you after the incident at the snow mine?"

He thought for a moment. The memory came back to him and he looked away from the Prime. "You said you wouldn't dispose of me because people aren't disposed of the same way trash is."

"You are learning."

"I was taught by the best, Prime," Starscream said. He froze the moment he finished saying those words. Yet again his own glossa had managed to outpace his processor and once again he ended up pouring himself out to the Prime. But it didn't feel so strange this time around. It had been a long time since Starscream could honestly say what he felt without fear of repercussion. It had been an even longer time since Starscream genuinely and honestly _liked_ somebody.

Optimus began to stand up and Starscream's spark lurched in his chestplates. They would have to keep moving. They needed to make their way down the halls and loop back to the bridge. There would be more drones, more enemies, they'd have to convince the Autobots, maybe even face Megatron and Soundwave—

This little moment he was having with the Prime was about to end. And Starscream found himself not wanting that. He could die, or Prime could die, and Starscream might never ever get the opportunity to be this close to someone ever again, might not ever again get to tell somebody what he honestly felt and just how much Megatron had hurt him—

"I saw Megatron as a brother!" Starscream suddenly blurted out. He just sat there, his frame shaking and his vents heaving. For once in his life he could really, truly be honest, and he couldn't let this moment end—not yet, not when he had so much more to say. This moment would end the instant they both stood up and began to search for the Autobots. Even if Optimus did convince the Autobots to bring him back to base, they couldn't even have another moment like this back at the base amongst the stares and judgement of the other Autobots.

It was now or never.

He grabbed ahold of Optimus's servo and tugged on it. Confusion flared up in Optimus's field. Starscream just looked up at him, his frame smeared with energon and covered in scratches. A look of understanding suddenly dawned in Optimus's optics.

Starscream took a shuddery breath and continued. "He was like… like a trinemate to me. I had Skywarp, I had Thundercracker—" Starscream's vocalizer fizzled out as raw emotion choked up his voice. He didn't know why it felt right to suddenly begin pouring his spark out to him, why the halls of the Nemesis were the right place to do so—but it felt right. It just did.

"And… I had Skyfire. But then Skyfire left. Not of his own choice... the storm took him. And my trinemates left—not literally, we still lived beside each other, we still fought beside each other, we still loved each other—but somewhere along the way they grew distant from me. They retreated within themselves, and, well, they _left _me. But Megatron stayed. He and his kind words grew on me. He said all the things I had been wanting to hear somebody else say for hundreds of years—"

Starscream laughed bitterly. "He knew just what kind words to say to get me to join him. And Primus, did it _work_. I thought… when I joined him… when I joined him, I thought I was freeing myself from the Council, I thought I was freeing myself from _tyrants_! But I just gave myself over to another tyrant. And he knew what to say, what kind words to say to get me to ally with him—and when he finally had me in his grasp… the kind words stopped all of a sudden. And I couldn't leave him, by then it was too late. I couldn't go back to my trinemates, we had grown too distant. They had left me. But then I realized… they didn't leave me. _I_ left them. And Megatron convinced me to leave them, he used his words to make me grow distant from them because he wanted me to be alone and reliant on him, and—"

Starscream stopped and stared off at the wall. He let out a shaky vent.

"You saw him as a brother. But he didn't see you the same way," Optimus said softly.

Starscream sighed. "And you saw what he turned me into."

"Then let's turn you back, Starscream. Forget his lies and his false words of kindness and go back to being the mech your trinemates loved."

"They're gone," Starscream choked out.

"Yes, they have passed into the Allspark. But they never _truly _left you. Never. Do what Thundercracker and Skywarp would do were they still alive today. Do what—"

"—what Cliffjumper would do?"

The words just burst out of his intake. Starscream's optics widened and he looked over at Optimus suddenly. Prime's optics widened as well, but then a smile crossed his faceplates.

"Yes. Precisely."

He remembered Cliffjumper. He'd barely known the Autobot at all besides getting in a few scuffles with him here and there. Cliffjumper was… cocky. Confident. A bit arrogant. Starscream snorted. It seemed he did share something in common with the dead grounder after all. But Cliffjumper… he was also a bit… sacrificial? Was that the word to use? Starscream thought for a moment. The word 'sacrifice' had lost its meaning to him over time. In his desperate quest to survive he held onto every advantage he gained and never gave anything over to anybody if it would come at a personal price. Never.

"But what about Megatron?" Optimus asked.

Starscream blinked. Realization dawned and he groaned and punched the floor. "Slag it! Was I speaking out loud again?"

"Yes."

Starscream grumbled. "Okay, fine, what do you want to know about Megatron?"

"You said that you never handed anything over to anybody if it came at a personal price… yet it seems that you handed over everything you had to Megatron and that it came at a massive personal price."

Starscream thought for a moment. "Well… okay, let's say you're right for a moment. What precisely did I lose by joining Megatron, hmm?"

"Everything."

_Everything. _Starscream looked away from Optimus and stared hard at the wall. Everything. The word echoed around in his helm. He'd never looked at his relationship with Megatron that way before, he'd always tried to come up with some way to describe it, and always failed… but the word 'everything' felt so right.

Everything. He'd sacrificed everything for Megatron. Megatron became everything he had to live for. But Megatron was never truly worth it. There were mechs out there who were worth sacrificing everything for, though.

"Where are the Autobots?" Starscream asked softly.

"I do not know. I also do not know where Megatron is either. I fear that he is awaiting the perfect moment to strike."

"Oh, he's always waiting, isn't he?! I'm tired of waiting around. We just need to wait for your team to clear out the bridge, and then we'll convince them, that's the plan, right?"

Optimus nodded. He groaned in pain and held a servo to his midsection.

"Slag it! Those idiots better be finished up on the bridge, you can't wait a moment longer."

"I… I can wait for them to succeed."

"No, you can't! Slag it, okay, I'll get you to the Autobots… but they might shoot me… they'll be hesitant to help you if I'm with you, and—I… I'm putting you in danger." Shock filled Starscream's field and was quickly followed by grief.

His presence was putting Optimus in danger. Of course. He'd upset the Council, so the Council put Skyfire in danger because they knew the shuttle was close to him. He'd upset Megatron, so Megatron put his trinemates in danger. And now he had upset Megatron yet again, so now Starscream's presence was putting Optimus in danger.

"If we reach the Autobots…" Optimus began.

"Oh, Starscream!" Megatron shouted after him. He walked down the hall right towards them with a grin on his faceplate. "Oh, Starscream, Starscream!"

Starscream swore and began to speak again. "If we reach the Autobots, then you'll have to convince them to not shoot me, but they might get so angry upon seeing me they'll just shoot me anyway, a-and they might accidentally shoot you because I will be beside you, and—"

"You killed Vos, you know that? You killed Vos! You failed to avenge them, so your people may as well have died all over again!" Megatron snarled.

"—and Megatron isn't after _you, _he wants _me, _which means by being near you I am putting you in danger—

Megatron laughed. "You got everybody _killed. _Do you know why Vos was bombed, Starscream? Because of _you._"

"Oh, Primus. I'm putting you in danger, aren't I? Can you walk?" Starscream asked Optimus. He tried to ignore Megatron walking towards him, he had to ignore him because a new idea had taken root in Starscream's processor. And he did not like it, not one bit, but if this new plan of his was successful, then Optimus wouldn't be put in danger by Starscream's presence anymore and then the Prime would have a _chance—_

"Starscream, what is wrong? You are not putting me in danger, you—"

"_Can. You. Walk?" _Starscream hissed at Optimus.

Optimus nodded and shakily rose to his pedes. "I believe so. Starscream, what—?"

Megatron growled. "I was there when Vos burnt, I was there in the ash with you, and yet neither of you were there for _me—"_

"I need you to go the Autobots without me," Starscream said.

Optimus's optics widened in surprise. "What?"

Megatron stopped walking and just stared at the two of them. "And you came to me after the Council meeting, Orion, and you said that we could work through it, that we could make our brotherhood _work_—"

Optimus shook his helm. "Starscream, I refuse to leave you behind. We will face the Autobots together—"

"_But we all saw how that worked out, didn't we, Optimus?!" _Megatron roared.

"No, we can't!" Starscream choked out. "They hate my internals, Prime, they'll just kill me on the spot! There's no way you can convince them. Megatron wants _me_, he'll keep coming after me again and again and again!"

The sound of a motorcycle revved down the hallway.

"Come back to me," Megatron said. He outstretched his servos welcomingly.

"Starscream, _no!_" Optimus said as he grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder.

"You came back for me. So I came back for you, Optimus. So… once you've convinced Team Prime that I am not evil—"

"_Starscream—"_

"—then come back for me again, Prime. I'll escape from Megatron again. I'll go rogue in the wilderness if I have to."

"No, do not be like this—"

"It has to be like this! I'm a target, Prime! If I stay near you, I'll just make _you _into a target too!"

The sound of the approaching motorcycle grew louder and louder.

Megatron's optics twitched. "You… you just said that you two could work through it…" Megatron began to growl louder and louder, "you said that you could make your brotherhood _work_."

Starscream ignored him. "We will make this work, Optimus. I mean, yes, I will get captured, yes, but I'll escape and I'll go rogue and I'll be alone again, but you'll be free of Megatron and you won't have to worry about him capturing you too—"

"Starscream, no!" Optimus shouted as he shook Starscream's shoulders.

Starscream pushed Optimus away. "I need to take this leap! I'm ready!"

"Optimus, get away from him!" Arcee snarled. She stood right behind Starscream and had her blasters pointed right at him.

Optimus stepped in front of Starscream. "Arcee, no, it is not what it looks like. Starscream _saved _me, he did not hurt me in any way at all. He was protecting me from Megatron—"

Megatron growled. "Oh, is that what you call it, Prime? Starscream _protected _you from me? I am the true protector here, Optimus! I am! I protected Cybertron from the madness of the Council!"

"What," Starscream scoffed, "by destroying it?"

Megatron slowly turned around to look at Starscream. "_You _were the one who destroyed it, Starscream. You were the one to burst aboard that ship and kill the Enforcers, you were the reason Vos was bombed, you were the one who razed Iacon to the ground, and—"

Megatron grabbed ahold of Starscream's servo and dragged him close until their faceplates were only a breath apart.

"—you were the one who deactivated Cliffjumper." Megatron laughed as he held Starscream close to his frame. Every single booming laugh vibrated through his frame and into his wings.

"Let's go, Optimus," Arcee said as she tugged on Optimus's arm. Raw grief burst into Optimus's field as he was led away.

* * *

"Slag!" Bulkhead swore as Soundwave's cable threw him into a wall.

"Where did Arcee go?"

"_I… I don't know!" _Bumblebee beeped in alarm.

"I KNOW. I SEE."

They all slowly turned around to look at Soundwave. The communications director stalked around them in a circle and there was a glint in his single exposed optic.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Bulkhead scoffed.

Soundwave's visor flared and one of his cables lashed out and plugged itself into a nearby computer console. The screen flickered and security footage from one of the hallways of the Nemesis suddenly appeared on the screen. Megatron stood over a shaking Starscream and Arcee was desperately trying to pull Optimus away.

Ratchet blinked. "Why are you showing us this?"

"SO YOU CAN WATCH—THEM DIE."

Soundwave's field was always held tightly to his frame and always hidden away. Not today, though. His field swept outward in a haze of static and… stress. The ever-unflappable Soundwave was _stressed. _Ratchet could see it in the way he locked his energon-covered armor together and in the way his field crackled and fizzled around him.

"You little slagger! You're going to make us watch Buckethead kill Prime?! I don't think so!" Bulkhead roared and ran forward towards the computer at full speed.

"Bulkhead, no!" Ratchet shouted. His optics narrowed in on the screen and his field frizzled with confusion. This couldn't possibly be right.

Bulkhead stopped his mad charge and tilted his helm at he looked at the screen. "Hey, Doc… what are they doing?"

The live footage of Megatron showed him lifting Starscream up until they were faceplate to faceplate. Ratchet had expected the warlord to be more happy. Starscream had finally turned himself in and ended Megatron's mad hunt to find him, so if anything, the warlord should've been pleased.

Megatron's wrenched Starscream even closer to his frame and bared his sharpened dentae right in front of the terrified Seeker's faceplate. Starscream shrieked and his optics brightened.

Terror. Ratchet didn't need to be there in the hall to know that Starscream felt pure terror right there in that moment. He'd seen that look on the Seeker's faceplate so many times over the war, yet never thought much about it. When was Starscream _not _scared of something? There was something strange about the way Starscream kicked and thrashed in Megatron's grasp, and there was something even stranger about the way Megatron grabbed ahold of the Seeker and held him tight and close as if he were something precious and dear. The tips of Megatron's talons dug into Starscream's armor and drew thin points of energon out of him.

No, the look of fear on the Seeker's faceplate was more raw and genuine than Ratchet had even seen on his faceplate before. It was almost as if Starscream was worried about something beside himself for once.

Starscream thrashed in Megatron's grasp and quickly turned around to glance at Optimus's bloody frame. Megatron's grip closed tightly around his faceplate and he forcibly turned the Seeker's helm so that Starscream was looking at Megatron again.

Ratchet blinked and just stared at the footage. Starscream looked back at Optimus with worry in his optics, almost as if he was terrified for more than just his own wellbeing, but almost as if he was also terrified for _Optimus's_ wellbeing—

Oh.

Oh _no._

"He was telling the truth," Ratchet breathed.

Bumblebee glanced over at him. "_What?"_

Ratchet scowled and turned around to face Bulkhead and Bumblebee. "Starscream, what he said in the woods… it was _true, slag it! _He wouldn't be so worried for Optimus if he had really turned him over to Megatron."

Bulkhead and Bumblebee just looked between each other and the screen. A rattling noise hissed through the air and Ratchet turned around to see Soundwave stalking towards him.

"_He was telling the truth,"_ he spoke using a recording of Ratchet's voice. "LIES. THE SEEKER LIES."

"_No, you're the person lying to us here... aren't you?" _Bumblebee warbled as his optics widened and he rapidly glanced back and forth between Soundwave and the live footage on the screen.

Soundwave made a low staticky hissing noise and made every single screen on every single computer console on the groundbridge begin to play the same live footage from the hall.

"WATCH THEM—DIE. MEGATRON WILL DISPOSE OF THEM."

Bumblebee's armor locked up around him and he trilled angrily. "_No. Megatron won't kill Optimus and Starscream. I can tell!"_

Soundwave's visor flared and he looked back at the screen. He froze when he saw the sight of Megatron just standing there and laughing. Both ends of the hallway were blocked off with drones and the warlord was standing triumphantly over Optimus and Arcee. He held Starscream tightly in his grip and forcibly held the struggling Seeker against his frame.

Bulkhead's jaw dropped "Dang, Bee, you're right… he's not going to kill them! Ol' Buckethead is just gonna stand over them and gloat, ha!"

Soundwave whirled around and slammed both of his servos onto the keyboard as he leaned into the screen. He shook his helm and turned around before he flared his visor again.

"MEGATRON WILL DISPOSE OF THEM. HE WILL. HE _WILL._"

"No, Soundwave. Megatron is too caught up in his own arrogance and hubris to take this opportunity to deactivate them. He's too far gone to see reason," Ratchet said.

Soundwave turned around and pressed several buttons on the keyboard. The microphone lit up and came to life.

"MEGATRON," Soundwave said using the intercom. His voice boomed out across the entire ship and the live image of Megatron on the screen raised his helm and looked up at the ceiling with a look of annoyance.

"DEACTIVATE THE ENEMIES," Soundwave continued.

Megatron snarled. "_I think not, Soundwave. You see everything, yet are so shortsighted. Why end my victory here and now by deactivating the brothers when I can instead keep them captive and allow my victory to last forever?"_

The three Autobots just watched in shock as Soundwave and Megatron yelled at each other through the computer. The drones on the bridge shuffled their pedes and looked rapidly back and forth between Soundwave and the angry image of Megatron on the screen.

Soundwave's servos clenched into fists. "DEACTIVATE THE ENEMIES. _NOW._"

"_You dare question my orders, my third-in-command? You swore to help me see my grand plan come to fruition, and yet you dare to obstruct my designs?!"_ Megatron yelled at the ceiling. He tossed Starscream to the ground behind him and the Seeker longingly looked at Optimus.

"Oh, Primus. What do we do?" Bulkhead whispered over to Ratchet.

"THIS WAS NOT—THE PLAN. THIS WAS NOT—THE DESIGN."

Megatron growled on the screen. "_It is now."_

Ratchet leaned over to Bulkhead and Bumblebee and he whispered to them. "We will let them tear themselves apart."

"_You dare question my orders?" _Soundwave repeated the voice recording Megatron had said earlier. The warlord's faceplate darkened and he scowled up at the ceiling. "_You swore to help me see my grand plan come to fruition, and yet you dare to obstruct my designs?!"_

"_Soundwave…" _Megatron said softly, so very softly. "_Never use my own voice against me, not ever again."_

"YOU ARE GOING AGAINST YOURSELF."

"_Never! I am mighty and everything I do helps further the cause! Including this!" _Megatron shouted as he grabbed ahold of Starscream by his neck and threw him into the wall. "_Instead of killing him and having a useless corpse, I swear to Unicron I will bend my brother back to my will, and I will make him my most useful servant once again!"_

Starscream scrambled to his pedes and tried to run away, but Megatron's talon reached out and he grabbed ahold of the fleeing Seeker by his wing. He dragged Starscream back over to him and leaned down until he was right above the Seeker's faceplate.

"_I will bend you and break your resolve, my dear Starscream. I will. Starting right now!"_

* * *

Starscream watched as Megatron stomped towards him.

"Master, I mean, Megatron, no, don't do this!" Starscream pleaded. He wasn't even aware of what he was even saying at that point. He'd gotten so used to begging and pleading it came as naturally to him as flying did.

Optimus groaned and stumbled to his pedes with the help of Arcee. He looked over at Starscream and Megatron and he opened his intake to say something.

Starscream glared at Optimus. He'd just thrown himself right into Megatron's line of fire to save the Prime, there was no way he could let Optimus endanger himself yet again.

Starscream rose to his pedes. "Megatron, be reasonable—"

"Reasonable?" Megatron snorted. "All reason was disposed with long ago when you decided to embark on this foolhardy quest! You do not even call me by my proper title anymore! You do not deserve the right, the _privilege _to even utter my designation. I am your Master, forever and always."

Starscream glared at him. "A-and I thought you said we were brothers," he whispered.

Megatron's optics twitched. "What was that? What did you say?"

Starscream backed away from Megatron as the warlord stomped towards him. Arcee would drag Optimus away from Megatron's wrath and Prime would be safe. And then Starscream would be alone. With Megatron.

A whimper rose up out of Starscream as he stumbled away from Megatron.

"Say that again, Starscream. Say what you whispered loud and clear for all to hear."

"I said…" Starscream cleared his intake and leaned against the wall as a wave of nausea hit him. "I said…"

Megatron leaned in and smiled. "Yes?"

"I said… that I thought… we were brothers."

Megatron froze. His optics twitched.

"We are, Starscream. We are."

"So... then why can you say my name, but I can't say yours?"

Megatron's optic twitched again.

Starscream's wings rose and he stomped up to Megatron. "Why is that? Y-you said long ago that we are equals—so then why can't I even say your name?"

A low growl began to rise up within Megatron.

Starscream didn't notice and continued to rant. "Huh?! Why am I the only one who has to call you Master? Why do you insist on being called 'Master,' the infamous title that the towersmecha _forced _oppressed bots to call them—"

Megatron's servo lashed out and he grabbed ahold of Starscream's neck cabling. "What are you implying, my second-in-command?"

Starscream's optics bulged and he gasped for breath. He wanted to look Megatron in the optics and explain every little way in which he was wrong and lay out for the warlord just how corrupt and tyrannical he was. He wanted to use his silver tongue to just verbally rip Megatron apart and bestow upon him the scathing truth in the most brutal and honest way he possibly could—

But he couldn't. The familiar sensation of raw panic choked him and he hung suspended in Megatron's talon.

Megatron laughed. "You got very quiet _very_ quickly."

"I...I…"

"Oh? And what do you have to say now, Starscream?" Megatron tightened his grip on Starscream's neck. "Say it, Starscream. Lay down the truth—or at least, what you think is the truth. I want to see you try to use your tongue to weasel your way out of this situation. I really do. Do you know why? Because I know you will fail, my dear Starscream. I made the mistake of letting Orion manipulate me with his slick tongue and by Primus, I will _not_ allow you to manipulate me the same way ever again."

Megatron's grip tightened and Starscream whimpered as a bolt of pain shot through his vocalizer. His vocalizer cracked and sparks leaped out of it.

"Do I need to tear out your vocalizer the same way I tore out the scout's? Must I do that, Starscream? Long ago you pledged your alliance to me. You said that I would be the voice that would lead Cybertron to greatness and that you would be my silent and steadfast companion. Soundwave does not need to speak, he lets me do the speaking for him. So let me do the same for you. _Your voice does not matter._"

Starscream clawed desperately at Megatron's talons. His talons left behind thin bleeding lines of energon all across Megatron's servos. Megatron didn't flinch at all and continued to tighten his grip on Starscream's neck as Starscream's talons ripped into the servos wrapped around his throat.

Optimus leaned heavily against the wall and took a single shaky step forward. Arcee yanked on his arm and tried to pull him off in the opposite direction. A deep growl suddenly burst out into the air and Megatron's helm whipped around. His blood-red optics locked onto Optimus and Arcee as he lifted his fusion cannon and activated it.

Optimus threw his frame over Arcee's and the both of them fell to the ground as a hot bolt of plasma rocketed through the air above their helms. It slammed into the wall and reduced the metal into a melted pile of slag that dripped slowly to the floor.

Megatron's optics flashed. "You. Will not. Leave. You walked away from me so long ago. I will not allow you to walk away from me again. I will never allow you to leave your promises behind ever again!"

Optimus glared at Megatron. His frame was dented and bloodied and he was stooped over in pain, yet his field still emanated a sense of strength and determination. "What promise, Megatron?"

"You promised me the Primehood!"

"You promised that to yourself. It is not my fault that the Matrix chose me and not you. It is _your_ fault that you failed to prove yourself worthy. Do you know why I am a Prime and you are not?"

Megatron snarled. "Because of deception! Treachery! Lies!"

Optimus's battlemask snapped shut. "I am Prime and you are not because I actually treat my soldiers properly, whereas you treat them like they are nothing."

"Because they are nothing to me when compared to my might, Prime!"

"You are nothing but evil. You have mistreated Starscream, so I have chosen to take him in as my own. That is what a Prime does, Megatron. They do not divide people and make them hate each other—they unite people and help them. My soldiers are what make me mighty."

"I help people!" Megatron growled. "I unite people! Look at my soldiers, Prime! What is your army compared to mine?"

Optimus looked around. "All I see are drones. Where are your soldiers, Megatron?"

"They are here, they are everywhere!"

"The Nemesis is _empty, _Megatron. Why is that?"

"Why is that?! Why is that?! Because of this damned war you started!"

"Your soldiers are not here because you divided them and they scattered to the stars—because of you. You drove them off. _You _started this damned war. And I will end it." Optimus transformed one of his servos into a blade and stumbled to his full height. Arcee's jaw dropped.

"Optimus, no! You're not in any condition to fight!" she shouted.

"I must always fight to protect my soldiers. Always."

Megatron frowned. "Your other soldiers are all on the bridge. There are none here except that two-wheeler beside you."

"_Two _of my soldiers are here in this hall with us, Megatron. Two."

Megatron's optics twitched. "I see the two-wheeler, yes. And who, pray tell, is this second soldier you speak of, hmm?"

Optimus looked at Starscream.

Megatron followed his gaze and snarled. He yanked Starscream up to his chest and held him tightly against his chestplate.

"Make a move and I will crush his neck."

"No, you won't," Optimus said.

Megatron froze. "What?"

"You and I both know you will not crush Starscream's neck. You will allow him to live. Your threats are as empty as your spark."

"Oh, and why do you think I will spare this shivering traitor's spark?"

"Because… because he is my replacement."

Megatron took a deep vent and his optics widened. His grip on Starscream's neck slackened and Starscream had only a single second to take a breath before the warlord's arms suddenly closed in around him.

"Replacement?" Megatron said flatly.

"I now understand why you let him live all these years," Optimus said. His faceplate was hidden behind his mask, yet it was still clear that he was frowning. "You're using Starscream as a replacement of _me._"

Megatron bared his teeth at Optimus. "No! Even now you continue to try and sow strife and division amongst me and my soldiers by spreading lies!"

"You lie to _yourself._" Optimus took a shaky step forward and pointed his blade right at Megatron. "You tried to force Starscream to be your brother because you understand that no mech could willingly stand beside you while knowing what your true nature is."

Megatron hummed. "And what is my true nature, Prime?"

Optimus glared. "You are a towersmecha."

Megatron yanked Starscream behind him and threw him down the hall. "What?! Say that again, Prime! Say that again!"

"You have become the thing you hated most."

"No, I am the opposite of a towersmecha! All they do is cause strife and pain, I end pain, I do not destroy, I _create_—"

"Then why did you destroy Starscream? Give me back my soldier, Megatron. End this ruse of brotherhood and accept the fact that you have completely and utterly failed to rid the world of the Council's tyranny because you yourself have become a Council tyrant. Return my brother to me."

Starscream's spark stopped in his chestplates. _Brother. _He couldn't possibly be referring to—?

"Megatronus is dead. Your old brother is dead, Prime," Megatron said softly.

"When I asked you to return my brother… I was not referring to Megatronus. He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand him Starscream over."

Megatron froze and slowly turned around to look at Starscream. Starscream stood there in the hall with his jaw dropped. Panic overwhelmed his processor. If he handed himself back over to Optimus, then Megatron would attack them both. There was no way Optimus or Arcee could fight back because Optimus was too weak and Arcee was just too small.

Starscream stood there as indecision warred in his spark. He could just stay with Megatron, he could, but then Optimus would not stop pursuing him and would try to fight the warlord. He wouldn't let Starscream go.

He choked back a sob. Optimus wouldn't let him go back to Megatron. The fact that there was someone who wanted to have him around was strange and sobering. For the first time in eons, Starscream saw actual devotion to him.

That devotion could get Optimus killed.

Starscream dragged his servos down his faceplate. Optimus was the first mech to care for him in millennia—he couldn't also allow Optimus to become the first mech to die for him in millennia.

"Come here. Please," Optimus asked softly as he looked at Starscream.

Megatron said nothing and merely held his talon out to the Seeker. "Come. Back."

Starscream looked between the two of them. Static laced his vision, his vents came in harsh gasps, his spark pulsed in his chestplates, his vision blurred, sharp grey armor mixed with bright red and blue—

Starscream ran. It was the only thing he still knew how to do.

A roar followed him down the hall and Starscream let out a yelp as a hot bolt of plasma slammed into the ground beside his pedes. He skidded to a stop and whirled around and peered through the smoke cloud the bolt had created. Megatron walked towards him and stretched his arms out. His blood-red optics glowed through the smoke of the cloud and all Starscream could see was the glow of his optics and his hulking silhouette.

"You are making a mistake, Starscream."

Starscream turned and ran just as Megatron lunged at him. The escape pods. He had to make it to the escape pods. Then he could escape into the wilderness, and wait for the Autobots to escape the Nemesis with Optimus, and then find him and bring him back to base, and yes, it could work, it could work—

Megatron's claws raked his leg and Starscream yelped and stumbled in pain as his energon began to drip out of the three slash marks. Megatron's slashed out again, but servo slashed through empty air as Starscream bolted away. He ran and ran and ran down the long and twisting halls of the Nemesis as Megatron barrelled behind him.

Something shifted around in his cockpit. His optics widened and Starscream gasped as he felt the remote shift underneath his chestplate. He grabbed ahold of it and held it out in front of him as he punched in a series of random numbers. He had no idea where he was bridging to, it just had to be anywhere at all that was Megatron-free.

The remote shuddered in his servo and hissed sparks.

"No, no, no, I need you! Don't die on me! J-just one more bridge, _please!_" Starscream sobbed.

Megatron's laughter echoed after him as he ran. "Having problems, Starscream? You always alone in the end. Your friends fail you, your supposed allies fail you, even your own technology fails you."

"No, work, you idiotic thing!" Starscream shouted. He bit his lip and stared at the remote's blank black scream. He shoved it back under his chestplate and kept running. The escape pods. He didn't need a groundbridge, all he had to do was find the escape pods.

He skid around a corner and slammed into a wall—

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

"No," Starscream said to himself. He shook his helm and kept on running—but the memories came rushing back. All he had to do was push the memories away and focus on finding the escape pods, that way he'd be free of Megatron and the wrath of the Autobots and the memories—

—_Megatron had been angry with him that day, so angry, and he wouldn't stop slamming him into the ground and his spark had hurt so much—_

Starscream moaned and held his helm in his servos as he ran. Where were the escape pods? He had the whole ship memorized, he did, but where were they? Right now was neither the time nor the place to let the memories come back. He ran and ran and hoped he could outrun the memories as well.

—_and then Megatron had looked him in the optic and said "You were my brother," and then he tried to crush his helm in just a moment later and—_

He choked back a sob and ran down another corner. The sound of metal banging and crashing echoed behind him.

"Starscream, oh Starscream, do you think you can outrun me on my own ship? Do you?" Megatron laughed as he ran after him.

Starscream snapped his intake shut and turned off his vocalizer. He was running but he didn't even know where he was running or even where he should run to, something was wrong, he should've been at the edge of the Nemesis already but he wasn't, there was only one bot he wanted to run to in that moment but he was far, far away and bleeding out in another hall—

—_Starscream made a mistake, such a big mistake, he couldn't even remember what he had done wrong, but he remembered the punishment, he always remembered the punishment. Megatron had chased him down while shouting and frothing and screaming and he'd shouted—_

"You have chosen the way of pain, and by Primus, I will deliver to you all the pain and suffering you deserve!"

Starscream yelped and ran down another corridor. He slid into two surprised drones and the three of them went down in a tangled heap of metal limbs. Starscream shrieked and tried to push them off of him, but then a servo closed around his shoulder. He whirled around and came faceplate-to-faceplate with a drone's visor.

He froze. He should've slashed out with his talons, should've kicked his legs, should've tried to make some attempt to fight back in any way at all—but he couldn't. Starscream sat there on the ground, his frame bloodied and dented, and stared up at the drone with wide optics.

The drone's visor flickered and he stepped back and away from Starscream.

Starscream blinked. "W-what? Aren't you going to… to turn me in?"

The drone said nothing and merely lifted his helm. Something crashed and banged down in the Nemesis and cold laughter rang out.

"Once we were brothers, once, so long ago—but then you took the Primehood away and so you took our friendship away and you _walked away, _you know that? You _walked away, _and I will not allow you to just walk away again!" Megatron's voice boomed out into the halls and his sharp shadow appeared on a nearby wall.

Starscream took one last look at the drone and shot to his pedes. He ran down the hall, he didn't even know what his destination was, where were the escape pods? All he knew was that he was just trying to get somewhere, anywhere at all where Megatron could not find him.

He ran around a corner and grunted as he collided with something. Starscream blinked and looked down at a computer console in front of him. His optics widened and his optics darted around and looked all over the screen and the keyboard.

He could use this. If he could just find a schematic of the ship, he could find a way to the escape pods and then—

A map of the Nemesis loaded up on the screen. Starscream blinked.

He was nowhere near an escape pod.

Megatron's laughed boomed down the hall. "And so you thought you could escape, is that what you wanted? Do you hunger for freedom, Starscream?"

Starscream shook his helm and shakily stepped back. He was dimly aware of his back hitting the wall and the sound of Megatron shouting at him, but all he was truly aware of in that moment was the blinking map of the Nemesis on the screen. An icon that represented his current location aboard the Nemesis blinked on and off right in the center of the map—far from the escape pods and far from any potential escape.

"W-what… how? I memorized the l-layout of the Nemesis! I know these halls, I do, I do!" Starscream sobbed.

"Oh, Starscream," Megatron said as he turned around the corner. He had a huge sharp smile on his faceplate. "You know these halls very well. That is precisely why I changed them."

Starscream blinked and stumbled back. "W-what? You 'changed' them?"

Megatron threw back his helm and laughed. "Of course, my dear second-in-command. I knew that one day I would drag you kicking and screaming back to the Nemesis and I knew that you would make an escape attempt. But of course, I also knew that you know every little hall aboard this ship better than you know your own frame. What kind of prison would this place be if its lone prisoner knew how to escape it? A terrible prison indeed. So I did some… reformatting in your absence."

Starscream shook his helm and backed up into the computer as Megatron walked towards him. "No, no, you didn't!"

"I did. You are in a maze of my own creation."

Something thumped behind him and Starscream leaned over to see what the commotion was. His vents stopped coming altogether and his optics widened. Optimus and Arcee were both forced to their knees and surrounded by a swarm of drones.

"Stop, Optimus, stop chasing him! Leave Starscream behind!" Arcee shouted as Optimus tried to rise and limp after Starscream. The drones forced them down again and pointed their blasters back at them.

"Oh, how I have awaited this moment!" Megatron laughed and began to stomp towards Starscream as well.

* * *

Bumblebee grunted as he was thrown onto a computer. The computer screen shattered as his frame slammed into it and he blearily slid to the floor as Soundwave loomed over him.

Soundwave's single red optic glowed blood-red and his cables thrashed about him wildly as he stalked towards Bumblebee. He effortlessly twisted to avoid an oncoming volley of blaster bolts and glided over to Bumblebee.

"NO ESCAPE."

Bumblebee spit out a globule of energon. "_Soundwave, see reason!"_

Soundwave tilted his helm. Ratchet began to sneak up behind him with his blade extended—

Soundwave turned around and slammed one of his cables into Ratchet's midsection. The medic only had a second to widen his optics before he was suddenly thrown into the air and onto the ground.

Bulkhead wrestled with Breakdown and left behind a trail of destruction all across the bridge as they slammed into each other.

"Traitor!" Bulkhead growled.

Breakdown laughed. "You would know a lot about traitorhood, wouldn't you? Considering that you love to harbor traitors!"

Bulkhead spat in Breakdown's faceplate. "Starscream's not a traitor, he's not, isn't he, Bee?!"

Bumblebee dodged one of Soundwave's cables as it slammed down right where he had just been standing.

"_I… I think Starscream is on our side, I really do!"_

Ratchet shoved his sword into the spark chamber of a drone and threw the body away from him. "What?! Starscream? On our side?"

"_Yes, Ratchet, yes!" _Bumblebee dodged another one of Soundwave's thrashing cables and rolled to the side. He ran right up to Ratchet and the two of them fought back-to-back against a swarm of drones. "_He's on our side, Primus, why can't anybody see that?!"_

"Oh, really?" Ratchet scoffed. He grunted as a stray blaster bolt grazed his side. "And why do you think he deserves a second chance?"

A heavy weight slammed into Bumblebee and sent him clear across the room. He crashed into the wall and watched with wide optics as Soundwave lashed out all of his cables and entangled them around all of the Autobots. He looped his cables around Ratchet's legs and dragged the medic to him. He slid one of his cables around Bulkhead's neck and wrenched him away. His violet visor suddenly snapped over to look at Bumblebee and he sinuously stretched out his cables towards the prone scout.

"_Soundwave, no, we won't fall for your ruse! You're just trying to divide us!" _Bumblebee beeped as he tried to kick away Soundwave's cables. A cable lashed itself around his leg and dragged him across the floor of the bridge until he was at Soundwave's pedes.

"AUTOBOTS: ALREADY DIVIDED."

"No, we're not! We can still fight! C'mon guys!" Bulkhead grunted as he tried to pry Soundwave's cable off of his neck. The cable tightened and Bulkhead made a guttering choking noise as his optics bulged in his helm.

"AUTOBOTS: ALREADY DEFEATED."

"_Optimus is still out there! You haven't captured us yet!"_

Soundwave tilted his helm as if amused. "AUTOBOTS: NOT THE TARGET."

Ratchet blinked and looked up at Soundwave. "What the slag are you going on about?"

His visor flickered and a recording of Megatron standing at the helm of the bridge appeared on the screen.

"_Look at them, Soundwave. Look at the way they stand beside each other, talk to one another, support one another—"_

Ratchet's jaw dropped and as he watched Megatron angrily rant on the screen. There was a deranged look in the warlord's optics and his entire frame twitched and shuddered as he ranted in the old recording.

"_Soundwave, I have no time nor patience for Starscream and Optimus's new… friendship." _

He played a recording of Megatron laughing. "AUTOBOTS: RID OF YOUR ENEMY. AUTOBOTS: GLAD?"

Bumblebee snarled up at Soundwave. "_Starscream was never our enemy, you're our true enemy!"_

Soundwave's visor flashed and he yanked Bumblebee up into the air until he hung right in front of his visor.

"AUTOBOTS: NOT GLAD TO BE RID OF STARSCREAM?"

Bumblebee took a deep vent and shut his optics. It had been difficult to see Starscream walking around beside them as if he was one of their own, as if he was Cliffjumper's replacement.

Bumblebee's doorwings drooped and his armor locked up. Soundwave's goal had been to divide them from Starscream—and it had worked _perfectly. _

Soundwave continued to play the footage of Megatron on his screen. "_Starscream should never stand that tall. He should be beside me, with me, serving me—"_

"_No."_

Soundwave paused the recording and looked at Bumblebee. "QUERY?"

Bumblebee grit his dentae and glared. "_He shouldn't be beside you. Starscream should be beside us—"_

Soundwave's visor flashed.

"—_with us—"_

His cables tightened and his frame began to shudder as his single visible optic flared in rage.

"—_and should be serving the Autobot cause to help not only us, but himself!" _Bumblebee finished.

Soundwave sharply turned around and slammed one of his cables into a computer console. The screen flickered back to life and began to play the live footage of one of the Nemesis's halls again. Megatron stood triumphantly over the screen. He held Starscream tightly to his frame and stood tall over Optimus and Arcee's knelt frames.

"No, slag it, no!" Bulkhead moaned. Ratchet's optics widened and he let out a deep and heavy sigh.

"NOW YOU SHALL WATCH THEM DIE." Soundwave's faceplate was hidden by his visor, but Bumblebee swore the communications director was smiling.

Bumblebee looked over at the screen. "_No… we won't watch them die."_

Soundwave tilted his helm. "QUERY?"

"_Megatron isn't going to kill Optimus or Starscream like you want him to. He's just going to stand over them and gloat!"_

Soundwave's visible optic narrowed and he looked at the screen. Megatron had his sword out and transformed. All it would take was one good slash to slice open Starscream's neck cabling and end the traitor's life. All he had to do was just activate his fusion cannon and send one bolt right at Optimus and Arcee's knelt frames in order to turn them to dust. All he had to do was kill three bots and end the war.

Soundwave's optic widened. "DO IT," he shouted at the screen using a recording of Megatron's voice. "DO IT."

Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Ratchet all glanced at one another as Soundwave stared at the screen. Knock Out and Breakdown stood behind them all beside the drones and watched everything with wide optics.

Soundwave walked closer to the computer and heavily rested both of his servos atop the keyboard. His normally still frame was shaking slightly and his field wrenched around him.

He pressed a button on the computer and activated the intercom system again.

Soundwave spoke using several voice clips stitched together. "LORD MEGATRON: DISPOSE OF ENEMIES."

Megatron stopped laughing and looked up at where the security camera was. "_What was that, Soundwave?" _he growled. His voice echoed through the intercom and boomed out through the speakers onto the bridge for everybody to hear.

"LORD MEGATRON: DISPOSE OF ENEMIES." Soundwave repeated. His field flickered and wavered around him again and his thin digits drew into fists.

Megatron scoffed on the screen. "_When I have my victory? No, we shall not discuss this again. I think not. What champion throws away the prizes they fought so hard for? No, Starscream and the Prime are my prisoners, and I shall cherish their imprisonment. It will be good to have both of my stray brothers at my side again."_

Soundwave's optic twitched. "MEGATRON: DISPOSE OF ENEMIES. END WAR. END WAR RIGHT NOW. END. WAR."

Megatron snarled on the screen. "_You want me to kill my beloved prizes?!"_

Soundwave brought his fists up and smashed them both down onto the keyboard. It shattered in a cloud of glass and metal and everybody aboard the bridge watched with wide optics as Soundwave ripped the keyboard right off.

"END WAR. END WAR. KILL PRIME. KILL STARSCREAM. END WAR. GO HOME. CYBERTRON..."

Megatron growled. "_Cybertron is your home, not mine. The battlefield is my home. I will cherish my battle prizes and continue to rid the universe of Autobot scum before I reclaim my throne upon Cybertron!"_

"NEGATIVE. NEGATIVE. FOUGHT WAR _FOR _CYBERTRON. SO CLOSE. CYBERTRON IN REACH. DO NOT GIVE THAT UP. KILL PRIME. KILL STARSCREAM. END WAR. END IT NOW."

"_Are you giving me orders, Soundwave? Do you dare to betray me the same way my brothers betrayed me so long ago? Must I throw you in a cell with them, my third-in-command? Do you wish to rot in a cell the same way you did in the old days upon Cybertron? Is that your wish? I can grant it!"_

Soundwave recoiled as if struck. Starscream was held tightly to Megatron's side and was pinned up against the warlord. He glanced back and forth between Megatron and the security camera and managed to squeeze one of his talons out of Megatron's hold. He slid his talons under Megatron's chestplate as the warlord ranted on.

* * *

He couldn't breathe. He could hardly see past the sharp curves of Megatron's frame. All he could feel was the angles of Megatron's armor cutting into his slender frame. Starscream struggled and thrashed around in Megatron's grip, but the warlord just held him closer to his massive frame. He stared up at the security camera and shouted at Soundwave through the intercom system. Their arguing voices boomed and echoed through the halls of the Nemesis and everybody watched with wide optics as Megatron growled and frothed at the ceiling.

He could feel Megatron's spark whirl wildly. His chestplate was pressed so closely to Megatron's that the sheer heat of the warlord's frame radiated out and into his smaller one. Megatron's spark pulsed to the rhythm of his mad shouting and Starscream felt it whir and whir through his frame and into his wings. Megatron yanked him even closer and Starscrem whined. He tried to feebly push the warlord back by hooking his talons under his chestplate, yet Megatron didn't even notice.

"I did not fight so hard nor work for so long to just throw away my prize after attaining it! You dare conspire to undermine my victory, Soundwave?"

Soundwave's robotic voice boomed through the intercom. The voices of a hundred different mechs were all split and sliced together. "YOU CONSPIRE TO UNDERMINE THE CAUSE."

"The _cause? _The purpose of the Decepticon cause is to serve me and my grand designs!" Megatron growled. Starscream wrenched one of his talons loose. It was only a matter of time before Megatron threw them all in a cell or Soundwave came down and killed them all. He took a deep shuddery vent and looked past the bulk of Megatron's frame at Optimus.

Optimus was on the verge of losing consciousness. His optics flickered and his entire frame shook as sparks leaped and danced all over it. A single drone held a servo to his bloody midsection in order to stop him from bleeding out. Optimus blearily looked around and made optic contact with Starscream. Their optics met and Optimus quietly whispered two words.

"_I'm sorry."_

His words were so faint and quiet hardly anybody heard them. But Starscream heard them loud and clear. Starscream shook his helm and mouthed the word _no, no, no_ over and over again.

He had to do something, anything, literally anything at all—

"Were all these years of loyalty a ruse? Were you secretly planning on undermining me all along, Soundwave?" Megatron shouted. A smashing noise echoed out from the other end of the intercom. Megatron's spark pulsed wildly and thumped against Starscream's cockpit.

Starscream's optics widened. His spark. There was a seam in Megatron's armor near his vents and chestplate. It was a small and delicate seam that he only even knew about because Megatron shoved him up to his chestplate so often in his rage. Starscream glanced up at Megatron and his optics widened. Megatron's optics were pure red with rage and spittle flew from his mouth as he ranted up at the security camera at Soundwave.

"I will not be denied! I will not be stopped!"

Starscream bit his lip and gently snuck his talons into the seam of Megatron's armor. Megatron's spark began to pulse even louder and Starscream let out a hitched sob. Optimus's optics were shut, but Arcee stared at him.

"I will not be deceived! All is under my control and it would do you well to understand that, my 'loyal' Soundwave!"

Starscream continued to reach his talons into Megatron's armor. His spark chamber was not far. He could feel it wildly thumping and whirring within him and his talons were so close to the warlord's spark chamber, he just had to reach farther and farther and soon the chamber that contained Megatron's life would be within his reach—

"I will not be _rejected!_" Megatron shouted.

His talons brushed against something. Starscream froze. He was so close, so very very close. All he had to do was tense up his talon, slash, and the delicate circuitry that kept Megatron's spark active would be cut and torn away—

Megatron froze. He slowly looked down and at Starscream.

"Starscream… what are you doing?"

It was now or never. Starscream shoved his talons deep under Megatron's chestplate and as far as they could go. Megatron gasped and keeled over as the sharp tips of Starscream's talons pierced the circuity of his spark. He tried to shover Starscream away, but the Seeker hooked his legs around Megatron's waist and held on tight to his frame.

Megatron stumbled back and into the wall with Starscream latched onto him. "You will end this madness now or I will end you!"

Starscream snarled at Megatron as coolant dripped down his faceplates. "Why shouldn't _I _just end _you_, huh?"

Megatron looked at him. Then he began to laugh.

His laughter echoed down the halls of the Nemesis and rang against Starscream's helm as the warlord shook with peals of laughter. Starscream watched him with wide optics and began to shake.

"Oh, brother, oh, my brother. You claimed the Matrix for your own spark, and now you try to snuff mine! Do it, Starscream, do it! Sink your talons deep into my mesh and rip and tear me to pieces, do it, do it, _do it!_"

Starscream let out a sob and slashed his talons deep into Megatron. He felt his circuits twist and snap underneath his claws and felt energon well up from his chestplate. Megatron grunted, but just kept on laughing. This wasn't how this was supposed to go, this wasn't—

"You think your claws will be enough to end my spark? I can assure you, Starscream, that you are not the first to wound my spark—" Megatron glanced over at Optimus, "—but you will definitely be the last!"

Megatrong grabbed tightly ahold of Starscream's wrist. He shrieked as the warlord tightened his talon and made something within Starscream's arm _snap._

"Megatron…" Optimus groaned. He tried to rise to his pedes, but the drones shoved him back down. "Stop this madness."

"You brought this all upon yourself the moment you chose to steal the Primehood from me!"

"You are not… worthy," Optimus wheezed.

Megatron's optic twitched. "I was worthy. And I still am. And now that I have my two main prizes before me… I can now claim the final prize that was once stolen from me."

Megatron snapped Starscream's arm. He shrieked and scuttled backwards and into the computer console as he nursed the bleeding stump where his arm had once been. Raw terror filled Starscream's field and he stumbled away from Megatron as the warlord rose back to his pedes.

"And now for the grand finale!"

Starscream jumped to his pedes and tried to run—

—He collided with the computer console. Static laced his vision and his breath was slammed out of his vents as he rammed right into the sharp edge of the computer. He laid prone on the keyboard and vented heavily as Megatron's laughter rang around in his helm.

"Go ahead, run. I will catch up with you later, Starscream. In the meantime, I have a Primehood to claim." Megatron activated his sword and began to stalk over to Optimus.

"STOP THIS MADNESS. KILL HIM. DON'T JUST TAKE THE MATRIX, _KILL. HIM._" Soundwave's voice boomed over the intercom.

Megatron snarled at the ceiling. "_I will not be denied!"_

Starscream moaned and shook his helm. He couldn't let it end like this, he couldn't. The flashing lights of the computer screen blinked on and off and left bright afterimages on his optics. He shook and choked back a hitched sob as waves of pain radiated throughout what was left of his arm.

"I'm sorry…" he moaned. He blinked and for a split moment he saw somebody else's faceplate in the computer screen's reflection. Skyfire looked back at him, then Optimus, and then the dead Seeker he'd failed to save in Vos—

Starscream blinked and sluggishly looked up at the computer.

He frowned. An idea formed in his processor. It would be violent, his helm could get smashed in, he could die—

Megatron stomped towards Optimus.

But if didn't enact his plan, then _Optimus_ could die.

Starscream groaned and used the console to support himself as he rose to his pedes. He glanced over and saw Arcee stare at him with wide optics. Instead of glaring or snarling at him, she just shut her intake and gave him a silent nod.

Starscream looked back over at the computer. No one was paying attention to him, everybody was too focused on Megatron's insanity.

He took a deep vent and rapidly typed a series of buttons on the computer.

Megatron laughed. "Hold, still, Prime, so I can take what is rightfully mine—"

The Nemesis shuddered and the emergency lights flashed on with a blood-red glow.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He whirled around and his optics locked onto Starscream.

"_You!"_

"M-megatron, don't make me do this!"

"Do what, little Seeker? What are you planning?"

Starscream's wings flared and he held his servo right over a lever. "Let us all go, or else I will have to t-take drastic measures."

Megatron blinked slowly. "And what would those drastic measures be, Starscream? What, do you plan on hacking into the old systems and uncovering Decepticon secrets? I had my once loyal Soundwave change all those codes. They are lost to you!"

Starscream glared at him. "I don't have any access to the codes, no… but I still have access to the navigation controls."

Megatron's optics widened. "And what do you plan on doing with those?"

Starscream grabbed tightly ahold of the lever and yanked it as the alarms blared. "_This."_

The entire Nemesis lurched to the side and made everybody slam into the wall. Megatron stabilized himself and tried to walk over to Starscream, but he yanked the lever again and made the entire ship tilt to the other side. Megatron slammed into the other wall and snarled at Starscream.

"Hand over the controls this very moment!"

"No! I swear to Primus I will bring this entire ship down if you do not allow Optimus and the Autobots and I to leave!"

Megatron began to charge up his fusion cannon. "A bold move from such a cowardly mech. Too bad that there are those out there who have far more control over the ship than you do! Soundwave, lock Starscream out of the controls!"

Silence.

Megatron squinted up at the security camera. "Soundwave? That was an order!"

Static hissed on the other end. "LORD MEGATRON: DISPOSE OF ENEMIES."

Megatron rolled his optics. "Soundwave, we discussed this! _No! _They are my prize, they shall not be deactivated!"

"I will capsize this entire ship if that's what it takes t-to escape!" Starscream shouted.

"SOUNDWAVE: WILL ALLOW STARSCREAM TO—_capsize this entire ship—IF YOU DO NOT DEACTIVATE AUTOBOTS." _Soundwave's voice boomed out.

Megatron roared and fired his fusion cannon at the wall. It exploded in a storm of metal fragments and glass.

Starscream opened his intake to say something, but then paused. A light blinked on his HUD and his optics widened.

"Oh, have you come to a realization, Starscream?" Megatron said.

Starscream blinked. That was a timer going off on his HUD. The timer for the…

"I have come to a realization, Megatron. The ultimatum is up. And I have made my choice."

Megatron's optical ridges raised and he looked at Starscream with wide optics. "And what would that choice be?" he said slowly.

"If I am going to go down, _then I am taking all of you with me!_"

He yanked the lever and the whole ship lurched and began to go vertical.

Alarms blared and frames tumbled around in the halls as the entire ship tilted. Starscream dug his talons deep into the computer console and hung on for dear life as the whole world went onto its side. The floor became the wall and everybody tried to cling onto the columns of the hallway as the floor tilted beneath their pedes. Drones clattered and banged against the walls as they slid down into oblivion. Optimus transformed his servo into a sword and stabbed it into the wall to stop himself from sliding down. Arcee wrapped her arms around a pillar and hung on tightly as she watched Megatron with wide optics.

Megatron roared and ran at Starscream full speed. He dug his sharp pedes into the floor as it tilted away beneath him and took a massive leap. Starscream had only a second to scream before Megatron suddenly descended upon him. He slammed onto the computer console and hung onto it with a servo as he twisted around to snarl into Starcream's faceplate.

He raised his sword and it shone in the blood-red glow of the emergency lights as he raised it high above his helm. Starscream shrieked and dodged it just as it swung down in a sharp arc. It sliced right into Starscream's wing and pinned him to the console.

Hot pain exploded in his wings as the sword cut through delicate wires and sensors. Bolts of electricity arced out from where the sword was embedded into the plane of his wing and sparked across Starscream's frame as he screamed. A cloud of smoke belched out from where the sword had cut into the console and sent a plume of smoke right up into the air and into their faceplates. The only sources of light were the light of the alarms, the flickering screens, and the bright red glow of Starscream's terrified optics and Megatron's enraged ones.

The harsh flashes of the emergency lights lit up Megatron's sharp-toothed snarl in bright contrasts as he leaned in and hissed. "I will not be denied, Orion!"

He stood up on the console as the frames of drones fell past him and down into the darkness. Starscream blinked. "Orion?" he stuttered.

"Give me the Primehood!" Megatron growled. He wrenched his sword out of Starscream's wing and rose up to his full height as he raised his sword high above his helm.

Starscream's optics widened. "What Primehood?! What?"

Megatron held the sword above his helm. It shook. His optics widened and he looked between his raised sword and Starscream's terrified optics.

"No… I cannot kill you. You are my prize, after all. Instead of smashing your spark and the Matrix in, I suppose I will just have to rip the Matrix out of you."

"What? Megatron, I don't have the Matrix! I'm not Optimus! I'm not!"

"You were my brother," Megatron moaned. His optics twitched. "You took the Primacy from me. So now I will take it back."

"Megatron, _no—!_"

He transformed his sword back into his servos and shattered Starscream's cockpit with his bare fists. He tightly grabbed ahold of each of Starscream's chestplates and began to pry and pull his chest apart. Energon trickled up from within Starscream and he shrieked as Megatron tore through his wires and sensors.

"I am not Optimus, _I am not Optimus!_"

The smoke cloud made it impossible to see, Starscream realized. Megatron couldn't tell whether it was Starscream or Optimus in front of him due to the smoke.

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

"You were my brother!" Megatron breathed heavily.

He continued to pry Starscream's chest open as Starscream shrieked and—

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

Megatron stomped his pede right on top of Starscream's chestplate and began to press down. Something snapped deep within Starscream as the enormous amount of pressure descended upon his spark. A hot burst of pain flared up within Starscream as he shrieked in pain.

—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

Something bright flashed behind Megatron and he roared. He turned around and glared up at Arcee. She hung onto a column above their helms and had her blaster pointed right at a smoking spot on Megatron's back.

"Get away from him, or else I will shoot you again!" Arcee said.

Megatron roared at her and pointed his fusion cannon right at Arcee.

She looked behind her. "Optimus, _now._"

Optimus yanked his sword out of the wall and let himself plummet. He slammed down onto the computer console right on top of Megatron.

"Megatron, begone!" he shouted. His frame was covered in energon and bruises, yet his field blared determination. He used the last of his strength to kick Megatron off of the computer console. Megatron snarled as he fell off the console and began to fall down into the oblivion of the Nemesis below. Starscream pulled Optimus onto the console with him and the two of them watched Megatron plummet.

He transformed and tried to fly back up to Optimus and Starscream with an enormous roar. His fusion cannon charged up and shone like a hot violet sun as it hummed with deadly intent. Something snapped high up above and Starscream shoved Optimus to the wall as something fell down the now vertical hallway. A new swarm of falling drones plummeted down the hall and they clattered and banged against the sides. The eradicons transformed and flew away and up to safety, but the vehicons were only able to transform into their grounded alt-modes and they kept falling.

"No!" Megatron shouted as he gunned his engines and flew up to where Optimus and Starscream were. "No, no, you fools!"

The vehicons fell down and smacked into Megatron's alt-mode. They all got tangled together in a heap of metal limbs and Megatron forcibly transformed back into his root mode as he and the swarm of drones fell down the hall together. He tried to rip their frames off of him, but more shrieking drones fell down right on top of him. Megatron and the drones fell down into the black depths of the ship and vanished.

"Optimus!" Starscream wrapped his arms around Optimus and held the dented Prime in his arms.

Optimus smiled. "I think you've proved your innocence."

"_I will not be ignored!" _Megatron roared. He fired off his fusion cannon as he fell. A bright hot bolt of pure plasma shot into the air and was aimed right for Optimus.

Starscream shrieked and shifted over in front of Prime. The fusion bolt slammed into his wing and reduced it to smithereens.

"Starscream, no! H-hold on!" Optimus shouted as Starscream screamed in pain. He held the Seeker close to his chest. Megatron's laughter echoed after him and he fell into the shadows. Soon, only his bright red optics were visible, and then he vanished completely.

Smoke bellowed in the air and the alarms blared as Optimus held Starscream. Arcee slid down and landed right beside the two of them.

* * *

Soundwave retracted his cables and let go of Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead. They all fell to the floor with a gasp as Soundwave threw himself over a computer console and began to rapidly type in instructions. The entire ship tilted and all of the Autobots and Decepticons slid down and onto the viewport of the bridge as the ship went vertical. Soundwave slammed his cables into console around him and held on tightly as he hurriedly typed in the commands to right the ship.

"This fight isn't over yet!" Breakdown shouted. He lunged at Bulkhead and the two of them began to slam each other around.

"Oh, slag, my paintjob is going to be ruined!" Knock Out moaned. Ratchet jumped at him and wrestled with him for the electro-prod as it flashed and sparked in Knock Out's grip.

The floor was now the wall. Bumblebee looked down and felt his spark lurch. The windows of the bridge were now the floor and he could see a thousand foot drop beyond the glass under his pedes. He dodged Bulkhead and Breakdown's battle and crawled over to where Soundwave was curled around his computer.

"_Soundwave, let us go. You've lost this battle! We all saw Megatron fall!"_

Soundwave's helm whipped around to face him. "HAVE NOT LOST WAR. JUST LOST BATTLE. LORD MEGATRON HAS—_NOT_— FALLEN." He turned around and went back to typing in commands into the computer.

Bumblebee reached out and grabbed onto one of his cables. Soundwave froze.

"_Stop serving him, please, he's insane!"_

Soundwave stopped typing for a moment and just looked at Bumblebee. "MEGATRON: I OWE A DEBT TO. HE SAVED CASSETICONS, ONCE. SO I WILL SAVE HIM."

One of his cables lashed out and struck Bumblebee. The scout yelped and he fell back down.

Ratchet punched Knock Out in the faceplate and ripped the electro-prod out of his grasp. He turned around and shouted at Bumblebee. "_Catch!"_

He chucked the electro-prod into the air and Bumblebee leaped to catch it. The smooth shaft slid into his servo and he slammed it down onto the floor to stop himself from sliding down any farther. Bumblebee turned around and looked at Soundwave desperately trying to upright the ship.

"_Soundwave… let us go."_

"NEGATIVE."

Bumblebee sighed. "_Then… you leave me no choice."_

Soundwave turned around and his single optic widened. Bumblebee threw the electro-prod right at the computer Soundwave was typing into it. It exploded and the screen shattered instantly. Alarms began to blare and the fragments from the exploded computer rained down on everybody's helms.

His cables lashed out and he dragged Bumblebee up to him until they were faceplate-to-faceplate. "FOOL. THE SHIP WILL CRASH."

A jagged mountain range loomed right outside of the windows of the bridge. It grew larger and larger until soon the bots could see the individual boulders scattered in the winding valleys below.

"SOUNDWAVE: WILL NOT ALLOW THINGS TO END THIS WAY."

Soundwave connected his cables into the only surviving computer console and began to glow with energy. He removed Laserbeak from his chestplate and she flew around his helm in agitated circles. Soundwave's entire frame shook and shuddered as energy coursed down from his frame and into the computer. His cables lit up and pulsed with bright flashes of light. Bumblebee dropped and slid to the floor as an enormous _boom _shook the entire ship.

"What was that?! Was that an explosion?" Knock Out yelped.

Ratchet shook his helm. A bright green glow appeared out of the windows of the bridge. "No, it couldn't be…"

The sharp peak of a mountain loomed outside of the windows and grew larger and larger outside the viewport. A bright point of light burst into existence right above the peak of the mountain and the light roared to life into an enormous groundbridge. A massive swirling vortex of whirling white and green energy yawned into existence and completely covered the entire ground. Soundwave's vocalizer let out a screechy hiss as arcs of lightning and pure energy raced across his frame. He looked out at the largest groundbridge he ever created in his entire life, and then his frame went black.

Soundwave's unconscious frame fell down from where he was suspended and he clattered down to the bottom of the viewport. Bumblebee jumped and caught Soundwave and everybody moved to make room for him as his unconscious frame twitched and sparked.

Ratchet scanned him and gave a nod. "He'll live."

"Are _we _going to live?!" Knock Out shrieked. The Nemesis shook and shuddered as it fell into the groundbridge and everything was overwhelmed with light.

"Where the slag is he bridging us to?" Bulkhead asked.

Laserbeak twirled through the air and landed on her Creator's prone frame. She buzzed and beeped rapidly before she darted back into the air.

"Huh? What did she say?" Breakdown scratched his helm.

"She…" Ratchet blinked. "She said that she has no idea and that neither does Soundwave. He just created some random bridge to get us away from the mountains."

"What?! Where the slag are we going to crash land?" Bulkhead's jaw dropped.

Ratchet took a deep vent. "I have no idea."

The Nemesis shook as it left the groundbridge. The overwhelming white light vanished and everybody looked up and out of the viewport. The endless expanse of the ocean stretched on outside the windows and the crests of waves rose up high in the sky right beneath the glass of the windows.

"Oh slag!" Bulkhead swore.

"This is our cue to leave!" Knock Out said. He and Breakdown climbed their way up to the doors with the drones. Breakdown grabbed ahold of Soundwave and slung him over his shoulder as he climbed up to safety beside Knock Out.

"_We need to find Optimus!"_ Bumblebee whirred as the ocean grew closer.

"Come on, hup hup, we have a Prime to find!" Ratchet shouted. He climbed up the bridge and grappled his way along the upside-down desks beside Bulkhead and Bumblebee. The three of them threw their frames through the doorway and slipped into the hall above. Bumblebee hoisted his frame up into the hall just as the Nemesis made impact.

The ocean loomed right outside of the viewport. The Nemesis slammed into the waves with a boom that shook the entire ship. The glass of the viewport exploded and the bridge crumpled as the sheer force of the ocean slammed into the Nemesis. Bulkhead and Bumblebee shut the door to the bridge just in time to stop an enormous wave from crashing into them. The light of the sun vanished as the Nemesis sunk into the watery depths and the only light came from the red glow of the emergency lights.

"Hep hep, we have a Prime to find!" Ratchet said. He climbed up the now vertical halls of the Nemesis with Bulkhead and Bumblebee close behind.

* * *

"So… is it me or is this place flooding?" Arcee asked.

Starscream breathed heavily. His entire frame was aflame with pain. His right wing was nothing more than a cracked and blackened piece of jagged metal attached to his back. The entire first half of his left arm was gone down to his elbow.

He looked down and saw that the hallway below was indeed full of water.

"Well, aren't you o-observant," Starscresm snarked.

Arcee sighed. "Your wings and arm may not work, but your sense of snark certainly still does."

Starscream looked up at Optimus and frowned. He had fallen unconscious again and he and Arcee were both sitting in his lap atop the upturned computer console.

"So… what's the plan?" Starscream asked.

Arcee crossed her arms and glared down at the water below. "I don't know. We need to find the rest of the team. I just hope they're not down in that water."

"Is it me… or is it rising?"

Arcee blinked and peered further over the edge. Her optics widened. "Slag, it is rising. Where in the world did you fly the ship to?"

"I didn't fly it anywhere, I-I just… upturned it a bit."

"'A bit.'"

"Yes. Just a bit."

Arcee sighed and leaned back into Optimus's lap.

Starscream reset his vocalizer. "I am surprised you have n-not tried to kill me yet."

She offlined her optics. "I don't want to talk about that. Just be quiet and conserve your energy."

"...I'm sorry."

Arcee blinked and looked at him. "For what?"

"For… slag it, don't make me say it out loud…"

Arcee leaned in even further. "For _what?_"

"For…" he stuttered, "for _him._"

"For Optimus?"

"No, I mean, yes? Slag it—I'm sorry for… you know… _him._"

Arcee's optics widened. "Oh. Yes. _Him._" She opened and closed her intake.

Suddenly, a bright light shone down onto them. They all looked up and saw the rest of the Autobots up in the hall above their helms. Ratchet shone a bright light down onto their frames.

"Anybody hurt?"

"Yes. Everybody. Physically _and _emotionally," Starscream groaned.

"How the slag we do all get out of here?" Bulkhead asked.

"The r-remote died. All is lost!" Starscream wailed.

"No, we can still make it out of this. Give me the remote," Arcee said.

Starscream grunted and tried to reach under his cockpit. "Well fine then, fiddle around with a little remote if that's how you want to spend your last moments! Slag it, I can't reach it. I need you to grab the remote for me."

Arcee reached under his chestplate and widened as her servo brushed past old weld marks and scars. She grabbed the remote. "Where did you even find this?!"

"Doesn't matter!"

Arcee bit her lip and typed the coordinates in. "I don't know if it will work, it's really badly damaged."

She pressed the activate button. A single point of light appeared in the air beneath them. It flickered and a smile spread across Starscream's faceplate—

The light vanished.

"Slag it! It's too broken," Arcee swore.

Their fields all twisted around with grief and anxiety.

Something banged up atop them. Everybody looked up and their optics widened to see Knock Out and Breakdown in the hall above them.

Breakdown glared at them. Soundwave was slung over his shoulder and his visor was blank and black.

Arcee's optics widened. "What the slag, why are they here?"

"We are trying to reach our esteemed leader, of course," Knock Out grit out. He and Breakdown hung onto a column with Soundwave splayed out along Breakdown's back.

His visor lit up.

Arcee gasped. "He's waking up!"

Soundwave ignored her and lashed out with a single cable. He coiled it around the remote and ripped it out of Arcee's servos. Everybody froze as Soundwave lifted the remote up and into the air. He shut his optic and his cable shuddered with a burst of electricity that travelled down from his frame and into the remote. The remote glowed and the screen came to life as he let his cable fall back down.

Arcee removed the remote from his cable with wide optics. She pressed the activate button again and they all watched as a spark of light appeared in the air beneath them.

A groundbridge roared to life and this time, it stayed open.

"All right, hep, hep, back to base!" Ratchet shouted as he clapped his servos together. He looked back up at Soundwave, but he was already unconscious again.

"Slag yes! Let's get out of here!" Bulkhead hooted and leaped down. He fell through the air and right into the groundbridge. Bumblebee glanced at Starscream and then leaped back down into the bridge as well. Arcee flipped into the air and vanished into the bridge next.

"All right, in order to get Optimus into the bride we're going to have to tip him down into it." Ratchet said as he slid down. He slammed into the console and stood right beside Optimus and Starscream.

"U-um, Ratchet?" Starscream whimpered.

Ratchet looked at him. "Yes?"

"Am I going to be allowed to… you know…" Starscream stuttered.

"Allowed to what?"

"Allowed to…" Starscream shook out.

"To return to base?" Ratchet finished. He and Starscream just stared at each other. "Yes. You can come back. You didn't hurt Optimus and betray us, you've proven that."

"Oh, Primus, thank you, thank you!" Starscream sobbed. He grabbed ahold of Ratchet with his intact arm and dragged him closer to as coolant leaked down his faceplate.

"Ah… yes…" Ratchet said as he patted Starscream's shaking shoulder. "Now let's focus on getting you two back—"

"Once we were b-brothers."

Ratchet and Starscream froze.

"I didn't say that," Starscream said.

Ratchet shook his helm. "Neither did I, and Optimus is unconscious, so…"

They looked down. Two bright red lights shone in the gloom of the upturned hall far down below. Deep guttural coughs echoed up from the gloom and the glow of spilt energon lit up the shadows of the Nemesis's depths.

"O-once… brothers… and then... I was _betrayed,_" Megatron said weakly. His voice echoed up from the dark shadows in which he fell.

"Megatron," Ratchet growled. He frowned at the depths down below and Starscream held him back.

Megatron laughed. "Run! Flee! I will claim the Primehood… another day. One day. One day."

Ratchet grunted as he dragged Optimus over his shoulder and slid Optimus down and into the groundbridge. His optics flickered and he looked up at Starscream and Ratchet as his frame fell into the light of the bridge.

Ratchet looked over at Starscream and glanced between the Seeker and the bridge.

"Starscream, you need to jump," Ratchet said.

Starscream gulped and looked down into the depths below. "But if I miss the b-bridge and I fall… then _he's_ down there waiting for me!" he whined.

Ratchet grabbed ahold of Starscream's shaking shoulders and pressed his forehelm to his. "You won't miss the bridge. You _won't. _It's just a leap, Starscream. It's just like flying."

"Flying," Starscream whispered. "I can't fly, my wing—!"

"You can. You can take this leap, I know you can."

Starscream gulped and stood upon the edge of the console. He looked down at the bridge that swirled below as a shudder wracked his frame.

"Oh, there we were, Orion and Starscream, together, there, forever, in Cybertron, beside Megatronus Prime, together, forever. Brothers. Forever." Megatron's voice echoed into the gloom.

Starscream took a deep breath and leaped into the groundbridge.

Ratchet watched the Seeker vanish into the bridge. He leaned over and looked down into the black depths where he knew Megatron to be. He transformed one of his arms into a blaster and fired a single shot off into the darkness below. The bolt whistled through the air for a moment and then Megatron roared in rage as it collided with him.

"You, _you_, I will get you, I _will! _I w-will not be rejected!"

Ratchet snorted. "You just were." He leaped through the bridge and vanished. The bridge shut behind him and left the hall in darkness.

Megatron couched up energon and watched the bridge disappear. Something violet flew through the air beside him and landed upon his chestplate.

"Laserbeak," he said weakly. The little casseticon landed on his chestplate and just stared at him. Water poured in all around his prone frame and began to pool around his pedes.

"Well? Do you have anything to say?"

Laserbeak was silent.

"Oh, were we worried about you!" Knock Out said. He and Breakdown slide down the vertical hall and slammed into the ground beside Megatron. The smile on Knock Out's faceplate instantly vanished at the sight of Megatron resting in a pool of energon and water.

"Fix me so that I can break the spark chambers of my enemies!" he snarled.

Knock Out let out a high-pitched laugh. "Ah, yes. Let's get to work."

Laserbeak skittered away and flew off into the shadows of the Nemesis as Knock Out and Breakdown got to work. Soundwave was still draped over Breakdown's frame. His visor lit up and he turned and looked at Megatron. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Soundwave's visor flickered and he fell unconscious again.

Laserbeak whined and flew off. She flew through the winding watery halls and effortlessly weaved her way through all of them.

A hatch opened atop the Nemesis and Laserbeak floated outside of the ship. She flew into the cold water and looked at the ship from afar. The Nemesis was wedged deep into the ocean floor and was now stuck in a vertical position. What had once been the command bridge was now buried in the sand of the ocean floor and the engines now stuck up to face the waves above.

Laserbeak chittered and flew up to the ocean surface. She burst through the water and the waves and into the cold black sky like a comet before she arced off and disappeared amidst the high clouds. She would the treacherous Seeker and the caring Prime, and she would bring them all back to Megatron so he could become Megatronus Prime. She would, yes, she would.

These three mechs were now eternally bound together, so now it was time to bring them _back_ together. This brotherhood would not break—she would see to it.


	12. Aftermath

_Fire ripped past the window._

_ Starscream watched with wide optics as another nearby ship was shot down by a missile. The ship and all the sparks aboard it vanished in an expanding cloud of glittery metal fragments. The shockwave from the blast shuddered through the ship Starscream was in and made the window in front of him rattle. The debris hurtled into the gloom of deep space and a sleek shape appeared silhouetted by the starlight. The cloud of smoke from the explosion cleared away and revealed the senders of the missile. _

_ The curved hulls of the enemy starships came into view and the symbol of the Enforcers shone brightly upon their sides. _

_ "How did they find us?" Starscream breathed out. He clung onto the window sill to support himself. Moonhalo, Sunblaze, Fireflare—all of them were gone. All of them. Starscream ran away from the window as a familiar sensation prickled in his optics. He couldn't let coolant leak from his optics, not here, not now—he had a mission to do, and by Primus, he would fulfill it. _

_ "How did the Enforcers find our location?" Starscream asked. He turned around and looked at the other gobsmacked bots in the hall. _

_ "How?!" he shrieked as his wings flared out into the air. "Your fellow scientists just, they just _ died _ because our location was discovered, and you have nothing to say?" _

_ "Starscream," a voice said. "Calm down." _

_ "Calm down?! Calm down? Who said that? Why should I calm down, why—" _

_ An enormous pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and he felt his frame get pushed up against the curves of interstellar-grade armor. Starscream let out a high-pitched keen and sank into the embrace of the massive mech who had closed himself around him. _

_ The arms loosened and an enormous warm servo closed over his shoulder and spun him around. Starscream looked up at the mech in front of him… and up… and up. _

_ "We will be fine. We'll figure out how our location was discovered and we will fulfill our mission," Skyfire said. _

_ "Pffft, and how? How are we going to find out who leaked the location of our fleet? I mean, we'll be fine, right? Right?" Starscream whimpered. He looked up at Skyfire with a sneer on his faceplate, but his frown immediately vanished upon seeing Skyfire's faceplate. _

_ "I… don't know how." _

_ "Oh, of course. Just our luck." _

_ "But Starscream, everything will be fine. I'll see to it! We'll ensure that the target reaches its destination. The Council will never get their servos on the formula—never." _

_ "I'm not worried about that," Starscream grumbled. _

_ Skyfire's optics widened. "What?" _

_ "I'm not that worried about losing that stupid cylinder and the stupid synthetic energon formula. I'm worried about losing you," Starscream said. The rest of the bots in the hallway had cleared away and left the two of them alone in front of the window. The shattered fragments of the other spaceship drifted through space and twirled past the glass. An enormous nebula obscured the view in front of the ship and glowed a bright blood-red color against the stars. _

_ "Oh, Star," Skyfire said as he led Starscream away from the window. A vibration shuddered through the entire ship. Something was wrong. _

_ Starscream wrenched his arm away from Skyfire. The shuttle looked at him in concern as he ran back over to the viewport and pressed his servos up to the window. The bright blue glow of Starscream's optics was reflected in the glass. He squinted past his reflection and looked at the bright red nebula outside the port. _

_ "Skyfire, is it me… or is the nebula darker than usual?" _

_ Skyfire frowned and walked up to the glass. A sleek black shape emerged from the nebula's clouds. Then another. And then another. _

_ The intercom blared to life. "Incoming enemy fighters, incoming—" The bot who was speaking through the intercom abruptly stopped speaking. The entire ship shook and made Skyfire and Starscream lurch into the wall. _

_ They both looked at each other. More Enforcer ships appeared out of the viewport and streaked past the window. _

_ "Oh Primus, they were waiting for us! The cylinder!" Starscream shouted. Skyfire grabbed ahold of him and held him close as he ran to the hangar at full speed. The alarms blared and panicked scientists ran past him while they screamed and shouted. Skyfire dodged all of them and was about to run into the hangar— _

_ The wall exploded and threw everybody back. The smoke cleared away and the silhouette of an Enforcer appeared amongst the roaring flames. He lifted his bright red blaster and sent out a volley of blasterfire at the cowering scientists as he stomped through the open hole in the ship and into the corridor. Skyfire gasped and stumbled to his pedes as the scientists were killed behind them. Starscream watched them die from over Skyfire's shoulder and he clenched his servo into a fist. He would make the Enforcers pay for this one day. _

_ Skyfire skid into the hangar and slammed the door shut. He put Starscream back down onto the ground and collapsed to his knees. His faceplate was covered in spilt energon—and it wasn't his. _

_ The ship shook and shuddered as it was boarded. Alarms pierced the air and the sound of shouting and shooting echoed through the halls. A large grey cylinder with a red cap sat strapped down on the floor in front of Skyfire and Starscream. _

_ Starscream scowled at the sight of the energon on his face. "Who hurt you? Who—?" _

_ Skyfire grabbed ahold of Starscream's fists and gently pushed them back down. "The energon is not… it's not mine," he said. He forced a smile onto his faceplate, yet Starscream could feel the grief in his field. _

_ "I have an idea..." Starscream said. He turned around and grabbed ahold of one of Skyfire's servos. His servo was so large he could wrap both of his talons around just one of the shuttle's digits. "We need to leave the fleet." _

_ Skyfire's optics widened and his massive wings flared out. "What—?" _

_ "I know, I know, I don't want to leave our friends behind either. But we have a mission, slag it! If Sentinel Prime gets ahold of the synthetic energon formula, he'll be unstoppable." _

_ Blasterfire rang out in the room next door. Skyfire frowned. "We can't just leave the cylinder behind!" _

_ Starscream clambered up onto Skyfire's shoulder and grabbed ahold of the shuttle's faceplate. "We won't! We'll take it with us and we'll leave, we'll hide it away where it can never be found and abused. We'll get so much data, Skyfire, just you and I out in the stars. When we return to Cybertron, the Council will love us for our new discoveries. They'll have no idea we were the bots who stole the formula from them. We'll return to Cybertron and then everything will be fine!" _

_ Skyfire's wings fell and he frowned. "Starscream… there's no guarantee we'll get treated any better by the grounders when we return." _

_ "Well, we have to try!" Starscream shouted. The door banged as the Enforcers tried to pry their way in. _

_ Skyfire bit his lip. "I mean, I could fit the cylinder in my cargo bay…" _

_ "Yes!" Starscream gasped. "And we'll just drop it off on some backwater world where it will never be found, and then we'll return to Cybertron with all of our discoveries, and the Academy will have to give us the credit we deserve. They'll have to." _

_ Skyfire frowned as his field prickled around him anxiously. The door banged again. _

_ "OPEN IN THE NAME OF SENTINEL PRIME," a monotonous voice boomed through the door. _

_ Skyfire looked at the door with wide optics. Starscream grabbed ahold of his faceplate with both of his servos and directed Skyfire's attention back to him. _

_ "Please," Starscream said softly, so softly. _

_ Skyfire gulped and looked between Starscream, the door, and the data cylinder. _

_ "It will be dangerous, Starscream—" _

_ The door banged again. _

_ "We might not come back—" _

_ "OPEN IN THE NAME OF SENTINEL." _

_ Skyfire offlined his optics. "Oh, Primus, we could lose our home back on Cybertron—" _

_ A dent appeared in the door. _

_ Skyfire dragged his servos down his faceplate. "But if the Council gets the cylinder—" _

_ The door flew open. _

_ "—then we'll lose everything," Starscream finished. _

_ Skyfire glared at the Enforcers as they flooded into the room. He turned around and slammed down hard on a nearby lever on a control panel. The wall of the hangar slid away and revealed the dark void of space. _

_ He placed Starscream down atop the cylinder and transformed around the both of them. Starscream offlined his optics as Skyfire's enormous cargo bay closed around him. He fell to the floor of Skyfire's cargo bay as the shuttle activated his engines and flew out of the hangar of the exploding ship. Bright points of light streaked past the windows of Skyfire's alt-mode as the Enforcers fired a barrage of blaster fire at thrm. _

_ Starscream grabbed ahold of the cylinder and held it steady as it shook and rattled. "You better be worth it," he grumbled to it. Everything would be fine, yes, everything would be fine. This was the right choice. Why stay with the fleet when there would soon be no fleet? He and Skyfire could handle anything the stars threw at him. _

_ Skyfire delivered all power to his thrusters and shot away into the night. The burning ships of the scientist's fleet and the Enforcer's fleet vanished out of view until only the stars were their company. _

_ "I have several worlds in the mind that we could drop the cylinder off on. It's best that we just program it to fly itself to one of those worlds after we finish investigating them—and it'd be even better if we just let the cylinder choose at random which of those worlds it lands on. Y'know, in case…." Skyfire's voice broke. _

_ "In case the Enforcers get us?" Starscream said softly. _

_ Skyfire said nothing. _

_ "Oh, 'Fire, we'll be fine! Just you see! We can handle any storm." _

_ Starscream smiled and let himself slip into recharge. The only sound came from the quiet hum of Starscream's vents as he recharged and the deep boom of Skyfire's engines as he accelerated into deep space. He scanned Starscream to ensure that the Seeker really was asleep, and then he quietly turned on his microphone. _

_ "Asleep? Good. Subspace Log 47… Oh, Starscream…" _

* * *

The sharp angles of a medberth cut into his back. Starscream froze and kept his optics offlined as he intently focused on the air that flowed around his wing. Was it the warm and drafty air of the Autobot base, or the cold sharp air of the Nemesis that flowed around his frame?

Someone let out a deep sigh. Starscream's optics shot open and he looked over a dirty medbay. His processor was slow and sluggish, yet there was a faint thrum of panic there. It was always there. At any moment heavy pedesteps would resound against the floor and Megatron would stomp in, a sneer on his faceplate and a charge built up in his fusion cannon—

Starscream squinted at the brown ceiling. Brown. He could still see the damage left behind by the scraplet invasion. His optics widened and he groaned as he sat up on the medberth. A deep vent of relief left his vents as he looked out across the makeshift cluttered Autobot medbay. No Nemesis, no Megatron. He never knew that scraplet bite marks could ever look so welcoming.

The equipment of the Autobot medbay blinked on and off in the gloom. The air was cold and empty beside him and it made a shiver run through him, but not because it was cold—there was something missing, there was something that should be there beside him that was just _ gone— _

He wracked his sluggish processor for the answer as to what was missing, and found none. Memories of red and blue armor and dim blue optics drifted up from his processor. Starscream sat up and felt his entire frame creak and groan as he jolted up. He could ignore the pain, he was good at that at least, but he needed to know and needed to figure out what in the slag was missing.

He twisted around and let out a shaky exhale of relief. Optimus was laid out on the berth beside him deep in recharge. A large energon-stained patch covered his midsection and his engine thrummed deeply in his recharge.

Starscream fell back onto the medbay with a clang. So _ that _was what was missing. If his past self had been told that he'd feel alone and wrong without the Prime's presence, he would've just laughed. But now…

His spark ached. He held his servo over his chestplates and—wait a second, his chestplates didn't feel right.

He looked down at a dark weld line that ran right down the middle of his chestplate. Another scar to add to all of his other ones. He idly wondered if this would be the last scar he'd receive from Megatron, or the first of a whole new batch. There was something else there on his chestplates atop the weldmark, but he'd have to crane his helm to be able to look at it. He was just too tired for that.

"I'm sorry," he said weakly. He groaned and then immediately dragged his servos down his faceplate. It was warm and dark and there was not a single awake soul there in that medbay, yet those two awful and wretched words somehow managed to burst out of his raw vocalizer.

He curled back up on the berth and offlined his optics. The peace, the quiet, it was too much—at any moment it would shatter just like all his other dreams and Megatron would stomp in and take him.

"You're not here," he said to Optimus. He had no reaction and continued to shift in his recharge.

Starscream grabbed ahold of Optimus's limp servo in his shaky talon and gripped onto it as if it were about to vanish. "You are not here. You're going to disappear, and I'm going to be alone on the Nemesis again. The Autobots won't believe me when I say I'm innocent—slag, they won't even be able to _ look _ at me, they'll be so upset. I can't possibly be this lucky."

_ "When I asked you to return my brother… I was not referring to Megatronus—" _

It was too good to be true. This had to be some illusion conjured up by his processor, it had to be—there was no way the Autobots could've looked at him and wanted him to come _ back. _

"And yet here you are," a voice said. Starcream's helm whipped around and he saw the silhouette of Ratchet in the doorway. He had a tight smile on his faceplate and his optics twitched.

"Oh. Just you..." Starscream said numbly. Ratchet was staring at something. He followed the medic's gaze over—

He was staring right at Starscream and Optimus's interlocked servos.

"Gah! It's not what it looks like!" Starscream shrieked. He tried to pull his talon away from Optimus's, but then the Prime's servo suddenly tightened around his talons.

Starscream just stared at their clasped servos. "Um… he grabbed _ my _servo, for the record."

Ratchet just nodded. "Sure. Starscream—" Ratchet began as he sat down on a stool beside his medberth.

Starscream internally groaned. At any moment now he would be scolded and rebuked for his actions. Ratchet would look down at him with hot vitriol in his optics and said with acid in his voice _ "you have failed" _ and _ "why did you have to run, Starscream?" _

"Primus, Starscream, why would I say that?" Ratchet scoffed.

Starscream twitched. "Um. Did I say that out loud?"

Ratchet just looked at him. "You… say a lot of things out loud."

His spark sank. "Like what?" he asked softly. He dragged his other servo down his faceplate and turned away from Ratchet—

"—has he woken up yet—?" a voice said.

Starscream blinked and strained his audials. The Autobots were discussing his failure, they had to be. They had given him a command, and he had rejected it, so now he had to pay the price.

"—Optimus is out cold—"

"—I'm sure he'll be fine—"

"—did you see the way Starscream—?"

He tried to sit up further, but felt something tug him back down. Starscream grunted and looked down at a tube that snaked under his chestplate that was connected to a machine on the other end. A whole series of bright tubes that glowed blue with healing energon were coiled around his entire frame.

His optics widened. He couldn't be restrained, he couldn't, he gripped ahold of the tubes and desperately tried to wrench out of his chestplate—

"Starscream, Starscream, calm down!" Ratchet shouted. He pulled Starscream's shaking talons away from the tubes and made him lie down again.

"But… Megatron, and Soundwave, and the Nemesis? And then it crashed, and then—!"

"And then we found you and Optimus and brought you back to base," Ratchet finished. He scanned Starscream and squinted at him.

"Oh. Wait, Optimus is fine, _ right?! _" Starscream shrieked. He tried to sit up again, but Ratchet forced him back down. Optimus was laid out and fast asleep on a nearby medberth. His entire midsection was covered in blue patches and a whole series of tubes connected to him pumped more energon into his systems.

"Hup hup hup, you really do have a penchant for getting hurt, don't you?" Ratchet muttered. He looked at Starscream and then quickly glanced away again as he bit his lip. "Starscream… the Autobots and I… we just wanted to say, er, well…"

Starscream looked up at Ratchet with wide optics and held his breath.

"...well we just wanted to say that…"

_ "We're sorry," _Bumblebee said. He stood in the doorway beside Arcee and Bulkhead. Arcee just stared at him, Bumblebee rubbed his neck cables, and Bulkhead stared at him with wide optics.

Starscream's jaw dropped. "Wait… _ you're _sorry? Aren't you angry at me?" All of them stared at him and their fields flared with surprise. It was too much. Starscream slid his servos down his faceplate and looked away.

"Look at me, don't hide!" Ratchet said. "You said that we wouldn't be able to look at you after all this. But that's not true. We see you Starscream, we see you. We all saw what you were really made of. We're not angry."

"Not angry?" Starscream repeated flatly. "What? You're not angry at Megatron?"

Ratchet recoiled. "Primus, what—? No, we're not angry at _ you! _We saw how you protected Optimus and we later understood why you ran so much… so…"

Starscream began to shake. "You're lying."

"What?"

"You're lying, of course. You have to be. Megatron played this game with me—he'd say I'd done nothing wrong and be so kind to me, but then later he'd say to me that I _ did _do something wrong and then he'd stop being kind and—"

"No games," Ratchet said. There was a hard glint in his optics now. "No lies. No false kindness." He took a shuddery inhale and looked Starscream right in the optics. "You… did good, Starscream."

_ "You did good." _Those three words rattled around in his helm and played non-stop.

"I did good," he numbly repeated. Optimus's servo clenched tighter around his talon.

"Yes! That's the truth, we're not lying. We are not lying to you… so stop lying to yourself."

Starscream blinked. "W-what? What did I lie about?" He thought he'd been honest. He was honest now, right? It was hard to tell the truth from the lies and the true kindness from the false kindness.

"Stop pretending you're going to wake up in the Nemesis at any moment! You're here with us to stay, you got that?"

"To stay..."

"Yes, how many times must I repeat that?" Ratchet sighed.

"A lot," Starscream whispered.

Ratchet blinked. "What was that?" He frowned down at Starscream and somehow, Starscream knew that he had heard what he'd whispered.

"I said that… you are probably going to need to tell me that I am allowed to stay… multiple times. Because it seems too good to be true, medic. I don't entirely believe you."

Ratchet let out a heavy vent. "And why don't you believe me?"

"Megatron had said our relationship would stay kind and that he wouldn't hurt me, but we all saw how that turned out and _ Primus! _" Starscream shrieked and abruptly sat up. "Are you drugging me or something? Why am I suddenly telling you all of this?! What kind of honesty drugs are you pumping into me?"

Ratchet snorted. "Energon." The rest of the Autobots shuffled awkwardly in the doorway.

"_Drugged _energon! It's the only possible explanation as to why—why I'm suddenly spilling my feelings to you!"

_ "You think everything is fake, don't you?" _ Bumblebee asked softly.

"...What?"

Bumblebee sighed. _ "You thought that the medbay was fake. You think that our kindness is fake. And now you think that your own honesty is fake—this is real, Starscream." _

"Then why doesn't it _ feel _ real?! Why does it still feel like Megatron is looming behind me and breathing down my neck, huh? Why's it feel like Optimus and all the good things he's done for me are just _ not real _? Why does it feel like he's about to vanish at any m-moment?" The machines attached to Starscream began to beep and blare alarms. The screen that kept track of his sparkbeat began to spike erratically.

Ratchet swore under his breath and forced Starscream back down onto his back. "Starscream, calm down. Your spark chamber is damaged, you can't handle stress. Look at me."

Starscream stared at the concrete wall and ignored the medic shaking him.

"Look at me!" Ratchet muttered. He firmly grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder and tried to twist him back over and—

_ Megatron had grabbed ahold of his shoulder and wrenched him over to him and— _

_ "No!" _Starscream panicked and weakly kicked out at Ratchet. His optics widened and he looked down at Starscream with shock in his field. The rest of the Autobots left the medbay and left him and Ratchet alone.

The alarms on the machines continued to beep and blare, Starscream, continued to stare at the wall, and Ratchet just continued to look at him with that sad look in his optics.

"Starscream…" he began softly.

"What?" Starscream shook out.

"Look."

"What, at y-your ugly faceplate?"

"No. _ Look. _"

Maybe it was the way Ratchet said it, or the way his field wrenched around him, or just the way he stepped back and gave Starscream some space—whatever it was, something about the way Ratchet was acting made Starscream want to turn around and look at whatever it was that the medic felt it was so important for him to see.

He turned around. The first thing his optics landed on was the sight of his and Optimus's servos clasped together.

"Starscream…" Ratchet began as he slowly stepped up to him. He pointed at their clasped servos. "Megatron is not here. He's not real. But Optimus and you… whatever you have there… _ that _is real."

Starscream held back a sob. "How will I be able to tell when what I'm experiencing is real, and when what I'm experiencing is just… a memory?"

Ratchet let out a deep and heavy sigh. "I don't… I don't know, Starscream. I honestly don't."

Optimus's servo tightened around Starscream's slender digits. His optics onlined and came on with a flash of blue.

"S-starscream…" he groaned as he turned around to face the Seeker. "We will be there to help you tell the truth from the fiction. All of us."

"Wha—How much did you hear?"

Optimus looked over at him. "Enough."

Starscream's spark pulsed in his chestplates and his spark monitor began to beep erratically again. "O-oh…"

"No, Starscream, you need to calm down, slag it," Ratchet muttered as he gently pushed him back onto his berth.

His spark continued to pulse in his chestplates. The weld line that ran right down the middle of the plating above his spark chamber ached in pain and he shakily lifted his other servo to trace the weldline.

"Um… guys?" A voice said.

They all turned around and looked at the doorway. There was no one there.

"Down here…" the voice said again.

They all looked down. Raf stood in the doorway of the medbay and glanced between the three of them. "Can I talk to you, Starscream?"

Ratchet blinked. "Rafael? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to Starscream. Can I? Please?" Raf asked as he shuffled his feet. Miko, Jack, and Bumblebee watched from farther back with wide eyes.

Starscream snorted. "I'm surprised your human has the courage to actually speak to me."

"Well… you are kinda scary…" Raf began. "But I feel like I need to talk to you. You've got some courage too, you know."

Starscream's jaw dropped.

Bumblebee glanced back and forth between Starscream and Raf as his field flared with some unknown emotion.

"What? Still worried I'll hurt your little human, scout?" Starcream rolled his optics. "Worried you'll have to comfort him after he inevitably runs to you while screaming?"

Bumblebee just stared at him. _ "I think you're the one who needs comforting, Starscream." _

Starscream fell silent.

Ratchet glanced between them. "I'll leave you two to it."

Starscream's optics widened. There was something about the way the little fleshbag looked up at him that made his already erratic spark begin to pulse even faster.

Ratchet and Bumblebee left and glanced back at Starscream before they vanished. Starscream watched with wide optics as the human ran up to the berth and climbed up to the desk nearby so that he was eye-level with him.

"Um," Raf said.

Starscream sighed. "'Um?' Got anything to say to the big scary bot?"

Raf shook his head. "You're not scary. You're more… uh, how do I say this? Pitiful. Not scary! You're more sad than anything else."

Somehow, the little flashbag had managed to render him speechless. Again.

"Sad…" Starscream said slowly.

Raf nodded. "Sad. You don't seem to be very happy. So, I want to tell you a story. I had a friend once." His voice was so soft only Starscream could hear it.

"Back in middle school. He was having trouble with his homework, so I helped him."

Starscream frowned.

"He would ask for help, and I'd help him," Raf continued. "We were really good friends for a while. He helped me get bullied less." There was a sniffle. "But then he became the bully. He demanded that I just do his homework for him, and then… he never took no for an answer. But one day I stood up to him, and… well, he didn't go away at first. Not really."

Raf stared right into Starscream's wide optics and continued.

"But he did go away after a while, eventually. He was no Megatron, though. And, well, I know that what I went through is really, really different from what _ you're _ going through, and that what you're going through is way worse… but still. If I can make it out… then… maybe so can you?"

Starscream blinked and just looked at the human. He looked away and bit his lip as some strange wet feeling built up in his chestplate. He opened his intake to say something—and then just shut it.

"You don't have to say anything, y'know. You don't have to always try to lie or defend or explain yourself, Star."

Starscream froze. Raf stilled beside him and looked at his tense frame with wide eyes. "Did I say something bad?" he whimpered.

Starscream slowly shook his helm and looked back at Raf—and he looked this time, he _ really _did—and it felt like he was seeing the little human for the first time.

"You called me Star," Starscream said slowly.

Raf blinked and nodded. "Um… yeah? Is that bad?"

"No!" Starscream sputtered. "Not at all! It's just that everybody prefers to just call me Screamer, and, er, well, I don't like that. But then you came along and you... "

Raf looked at him with understanding. "I called you what you wanted to be called?"

Starscream bit his lip. "Yes. It's been a very long time since anybody has called me that, little human."

"I'll call you Star if you call me Raf!"

"Ah, I suppose that's a fair trade... _ Raf. _I'm surprised you haven't run from me yet."

Raf looked up and down his patched and dented frame. "I used to be scared of you. But now? I just kinda feel a bit…"

Starscream blinked. "A bit what? Glad to see me get hurt? Most are."

Raf recoiled. "What?! No, I feel a bit bad for you. I just said so. Don't… don't you believe me?"

"No. I find it hard to believe anything anymore. Do you really actually feel…. bad for me?"

"Well, why wouldn't I?"

Starscream's field spasmed in confusion. "I thought you wanted something from me. A bargain. A favor. Although, I couldn't possibly begin to guess what you'd want from a broken mech like me. My frame's a disaster, I'm not of any help to anyone right now."

Raf shook his helm. "I don't dislike broken things. It's not their fault they're broken. And, I mean, I _ do _want something from you—"

There it was. The inevitable favor, the request. People were only that kind to him if they wanted something. It was the way of things.

"—I just kinda want your company."

Starscream rebooted his audials. "Did I just hear you correctly? You want my _ company? _"

"Um... yes?"

"Well, that's…" A strange emotion began to bubble up within him, although he wasn't sure what it was. He expanded his armor and flared his remaining wing in an attempt to look as regal as he could despite his dented appearance. "Why wouldn't you want to be with me? Of course, of course. I'm Starscream, Seeker and scientist extraordinaire—"

"You're a scientist?!" Raf looked up at him with shining eyes. Starscream had seen that look of bright curiosity in a certain shuttle's optics long ago.

Starscream blinked. "Did I say that? It's… been a very long time. But yes, I was a scientist oh so long ago. Before…"

Raf frowned. "Before _ him _. What did you study?"

"Everything. All sorts of subjects your little human brain couldn't even begin to comprehend."

"Ratchet's been teaching me Cybertronian! I can keep up!"

Starscream snorted. "Ah, and what dialect is he teaching you?"

"Iaconian!"

He rolled his optics. "Of course. You'd be better off learning a much richer language—Iaconian has nothing on Seekercant."

"Seekercant! Could you teach me?" Raf breathed with wide eyes and _ Primus, _was he seriously considering teaching this little fleshling his people's sacred tongue?

Except…

"How many Seekers speak it?" Raf asked.

Starscream bit his lip. The question should've been easy, and yet…

When was the last time he'd seen another Seeker?

"...Starscream?"

"Hmpf, what? Oh, er, I suppose only I speak it as of right now."

"Oh, so it's a dead language? That's sad. Now I want to learn it even more!"

_ If the human doesn't speak Seekercant, who will? Someone has to keep the language of a dead people alive. _

"Er… maybe a few words."

Raf smiled. "Do… do you want me to show you my computer? I mean, it's probably nothing compared to the kind of computers you have, but…"

Starscream snorted. "Show it, Raf. I'd like to see what your little human digits are capable of."

"They're called fingers!"

Starscream shuddered. "Oh, that's just weird."

"Er, can I ask you for permission to do something?"

"You are not allowed to snuff my spark in case that is what you are asking."

"What—? No! No! I just…" Raf trailed off and stared at Starscream's chestplate. "May I touch your new badge? Please?"

Starscream blinked. "I tore out my badge. There's nothing there."

Raf shook his head. "Nope, you've got a badge right there," he said as he pointed.

"The Autobots reforged my Decepticon badge for me?" Starscream scoffed. "There better not be a tracker there this time!"

Starscream sat up a bit and craned his helm down to see. A long dark grey weldline ran down the length of his chestplate. He used his talons to feel around on his chestplate and felt the angular metal curves of a new badge. The curves of his badge felt different for some reason.

Raf looked at his gleaming chestplate with wide eyes. "No, that's not a Decepticon badge."

Starscream looked closer.

A bright red Autobot badge sat right on his chestplate.

"...Oh."

* * *

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

Soundwave played the voice clip over and over again. He let it loop around and around in his helm nonstop. He burned the memory of Prime's every word and every syllable deep into his processor. No, he could not afford to lose this particular voice clip. He recorded everything, yes—but this special recording was meant to last for _ eternity _ . An eternal reminder of the source of Megatron's insanity. Soundwave had to keep playing it to himself over and over again, he _ had _to. And once he finally understood what had made everything go so wrong, he would help Megatron understand what went wrong as well. And then everything would be fine.

Knock Out turned around a corner of the drenched Nemesis and he gasped. "Oh, tsk, come along Soundwave, I'll get that crack out of your visor in no time." Knock Out reached out to put his servo on Soundwave's visor.

Soundwave's thin digits lashed out and he tightly grabbed ahold of Knock Out's servo.

"Watch the paintjob!" he shrieked.

Soundwave's cracked visor flared. "WATCH THIS," he said flatly.

The entire hall was half submerged in dark ocean water. Soundwave glided through the water and stepped up to Knock Out until they were faceplate-to-faceplate. His visor lit up with a blinding flash and images began to flash across his screen in a rapid succession.

An image of Starscream standing beside Megatron appeared on the screen, then an image of Orion Pax beside him, then an image of Optimus and Starscream together, and then another hundred images after that and yet another hundred images after that.

Knock Out's optics widened and he backed into the wall. "Soundwave—"

"WATCH. SEE," Soundwave said. The ceiling above his helm broke and sent a plume of water down over his frame. He stood amongst the water and let it drip down his frame as sparks began to burst out of his cracked visor again.

"SOUNDWAVE: WILL NOT BE REPAIRED UNTIL MEGATRON IS REPAIRED."

"Sounders, you're not making sense—"

"MUST KEEP CRACK IN VISOR AS A REMINDER OF FAILURE."

"Well, that's, uh… morbid. Soundwave, are you all right?"

His helm shot forward and he looked at Knock Out. "EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. EVERYTHING. OPTIMUS AND STARSCREAM MUST DIE FIRST, THOUGH."

"But... then why did you help save them?"

Soundwave shook his helm. "MEGATRON MUST KILL THEM WITH HIS OWN SERVOS. IF THEY DIE BY MY SERVOS—"

"—then the Big M will lose his bolts and go even more insane. Ah, I see."

Megatron would ask him why he rescued the "brothers" sooner or later. When that question did come, the only thing Soundwave could do was hope that his Lord had managed to retain enough of his sanity to see Soundwave's reasoning. In order for Megatron to accept that his brothers were dead to him, he needed to kill them. So simple. Yet it could be so _ difficult _ for him to understand...

Soundwave glided past the medic and sloshed through the water of the halls. His cables lashed out and he drifted down the vertical hallway deep into the dark wet depths of the ship. Bright red emergency lights flickered within a large room at the bottom of the upside down hall. Each flash of the emergency lights made the shadow of a mech's sharp silhouette appear upon the wall.

Megatron laid upon his throne. He stared unblinking out into the dark gloom of the wet ship and the endless hallways of the Nemesis. The emergency lights of the throne room flickered and flashed violet.

"Ah, Soundwave," Megatron said as he opened his arms as if welcoming him. His body language was warm, but there was a cold glint in his optics.

Soundwave was silent for a moment. "MY LORD…"

Megatron titled his helm. "I sense hesitance from you, my new second-in-command. Why do you hesitate to address me by my title?"

Soundwave said nothing. He'd gone up to Megatron and given the warlord a status report a million times before, so why was it suddenly so hard to do so now?

"You still remain silent. Fine then. I take it that you remember and have not yet moved on from our… squabble from earlier?"

Squabble.

Soundwave's servos clenched into fists.

_ Squabble. _

"IS THAT WHAT IT ALL WAS TO YOU?"

Megatron languidly waved his servo. "I get into these kinds of squabbles with my second-in-command all the time."

Soundwave's optic twitched. "I AM NO—STARSCREAM."

"Do not speak the traitor's designation! He has chosen his brother and it is not me. No matter. No matter. I shall push them from my processor for now. They will never ever forget me." Megatron's optics twitched and flared violet. "Fix this ship. I tire of having to wade through saltwater. I am used to only having to wade through lies."

_ Lies. _

"I DO NOT LIE TO YOU."

"Oh? Isn't it interesting how you automatically assumed I was speaking of _ your _lies?"

Soundwave froze. The movement was imperceptible, but Megatron still saw it nevertheless.

"How interesting indeed, Soundwave. It was foolish of you to assume that you knew better than I. Taking the brothers captive was the only correct option."

The _ only _correct option. There was no choice, no discussion, just Megatron's will and nothing else—

"FALSE. NOT ONLY OPTION."

"And what else was I supposed to do, my _ loyal second _?" Megatron said cooly. There was something about the way he said the words "loyal second" while referring to Soundwave that made a chill go down Soundwave's spinal strut.

"What was I _ supposed _to do, Soundwave? Answer me!"

"END THE WAR."

"Clearly, the brother's dogma has somehow managed to infect your processor. I will have no more of this. Upright the ship this moment, Soundwave. I want the Nemesis in the sky and ready to rain down revenge within the hour!"

Soundwave nodded stiffly and slammed his cables into a nearby computer console. He sent every command he could think of through the Nemesis and made the entire ship lurch to life.

The room was half submerged in a pool of salty water and the pool began to slosh around their pedes as the ship moved. All of the Nemesis creaked and groaned as it shuddered and alarms began to blare as the entirety of the Nemesis began to upright itself. A deep boom vibrated out from the bottom of the ship as the thrusters were activated. The bright warm glow of the thruster's fire shone orange through the windows of the throne room and made Megatron's armor glow blood-red. Something banged deep within the ship's internals and showers of sparks fell down from the ceiling and into the water. Lightning danced across the pool of water and across Megatron's frame, but he had no reaction.

Megatron continued to stare blankly into the darkness. The ship tilted and righted itself and went from being vertical to horizontal again. The water within the throne room sloshed around and massive waves slammed around the throne and into the ceiling and walls as the Nemesis moved back to its horizontal position. Megatron's throne tilted upward and he went from laying on the floor to sitting upright.

The Nemesis resettled back into the ocean floor with a _ boom _ and the water in the throne room stopped sloshing around.

Knock Out panted as he ran up to Megatron. "My Lord, thank Primus Soundwave has successfully righted the ship! It's horizontal again, oh thank the buffer gods! No more having to climb up to the medbay! All is fine!"

Megatron said nothing and just continued to stare off into space.

Soundwave blinked at the Nemesis's thruster readings as they skittered across his HUD. The thrusters were functioning, they had power, yes… but not enough. A chill travelled through him.

Megatron made a deep growling noise and tightened his servos around the armrests of his throne. His talons left deep slash marks behind. Knock Out blinked and shuffled his pedes. "My Lord?"

"You say all is fine, yet we are still imprisoned in this wretched planet's sea. Why is that the case, Knock Out?" Megatron asked. He slowly turned his helm to regard the doctor.

Soundwave shook his helm. The thruster readings on his computer were wrong, they had to be. Except they _ weren't _wrong and that was what was making a sense of dread grow in Soundwave's gut. He had been given an assignment by Megatron—

"NOT POSSIBLE TO REACH SURFACE. THRUSTERS TOO WEAK," Soundwave intoned.

—And he was going to _ fail _it.

"What?" Megatron growled as his helm snapped around to look at him.

Is this how Starscream had felt?

Knock Out peered at the computer readings with wide optics. "My Lord, extracting the Nemesis from the ocean floor will… prove more difficult than first thought."

"Is that so?" Megatron asked softly. A deep growl began to vibrate through his frame and his field thrashed around him. "Soundwave, explain the meaning of this folly!"

Soundwave tilted his helm up and looked at Megatron. The two bots just stared at each other as alarms blared and as the entire ship creaked and groaned around them. Water sloshed and splashed around their pedes as the ocean water began to pour back down into the ship's throne room.

"Soundwave," Megatron said so, so softly. "You will obey. Answer me. _Answer_ me."

Knock Out blinked. "My Lord, Soundwave just did answer your question. He just told you that the thrusters aren't powerful enough to bring the Nemesis to the surface!"

Soundwave said nothing and continued to stare at Megatron with his blank and expressionless visor.

"Oh, I know that. He answered that. But what I want to know is the answer to a _ different _question."

There was silence. Megatron's optics grew brighter and brighter and his field began to thrum and hum with energy. Soundwave knew that look in Megatron's optics. He got that look on his faceplate back in the pits of Kaon, right before he was about to enter a gladiator match. Soundwave stepped back and tensed his frame. If Megatron wanted to fight him, then so be it. Any moment now Megatron would lunge forward and—

"You saved them," Megatron rasped.

Soundwave twitched. That wasn't supposed to happen. Megatron was supposed to be trying to attack him—but instead, the warlord just stared at him with an unreadable look on his faceplate.

Knock Out blinked. "Are you talking about the thrusters? Of course Sounders saved them, why wouldn't he?"

"No, not the thrusters! Why did you save… _ them? _ The _ brothers? _" Megatron asked.

Soundwave tilted his helm. "YOU MUST LEARN."

Megatron growled. "Do not presume to educate me on anything, Soundwave. I understand what's going on here far more than you do! You had an opportunity to claim the brothers and take them captive, but instead, you helped them _ escape. _Why?"

"YOU MUST LEARN."

Megatron stood from his throne and made a massive wave crash through the room as he slammed towards the water and at Soundwave. "Learn what, my _ loyal second _ ? Learn _ what _? You dare to try and teach me a lesson?!"

"I AM TRYING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON. TRIED TO GET YOU… TO END WAR. BUT YOU REFRAINED FROM DOING SO. SO I MUST TEACH YOU."

Megatron tightly grabbed ahold of Soundwave's shoulder and pulled him in so close that their helms were only a breath apart. "Oh, and what lesson must I learn so badly, my oh so _ loyal second _?"

The entire Nemesis tilted all around them and another massive wave of water slammed into Soundwave's back. He stood unflinching as the wave crashed over him and his visor shot up to look right at Megatron. "YOU MUST KILL THEM."

Megatron snarled. "Were it not for your meddling, Orion and Starscream would both be beside me!"

"THE BROTHERHOOD IS DEAD. YOU MUST ACCEPT THAT AND DEACTIVATE THEM YOURSELF."

"I think not, Soundwave. I think not." Megatron's optics blazed red. Sparks jumped out of the damaged walls of the throne room and fell into the water. The pool of water lit up with electricity and a bolt of lightning ripped across Megatron's frame and left behind a black scorch mark. He didn't even flinch. "I will have them beside me once more. They will pay for their treachery!" Megatron growled.

"YOU HAVE _ ME _," Soundwave said.

Megatron looked at him as a wave of water crashed over his throne. "Is that so? You will be beside me? Where were you when I confronted the brothers?"

"FIGHTING THE AUTOBOTS. SOMEONE HAD TO."

Megatron snarled. "Do not talk down to me—!"

"YOU _ NEED _ ME," Soundwave said softly. He mixed voice files of Starscream and Optimus together and spoke with their tandem voice. _"You—are—NOTHING—without—me."_

Megatron roared and tried to charge up his fusion cannon. Soundwave's arms slammed down onto the cannon and forced it into the waves. It filled with water and let out a burst of flame as the water submerged its internals.

Knock Out ran. Megatron and Soundwave stared at each other over the smoking and flashing fusion cannon. The cannon burst into flames and blazed between the two of them.

Megatron took a deep breath and submerged his cannon into the water. The flames extinguished themselves and let out a cloud of steam. Megatron's optics shone bright violet through the cloud of mist. Anger coiled in his field and Soundwave could tell that he was half a second away from battling him.

Megatron's shoulders loosened and the violet glow in his optics vanished. "I do need your assistance, Soundwave… you can repay me for your insubordination by seizing ahold of the brothers again for me."

Soundwave shook his helm. His Lord was not seeing reason—but that was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine. He would _ make _ him see reason. Until Megatron gained his sense back and could think clearly again, Soundwave would just have to do all the thinking for him. Megatron would soon regain his past glory and splendor—he was just distracted at the moment. Soon he would realize just how important Soundwave was to him and soon he would end the war by killing the brothers. Megatron was just biding his time. And when the time came, Soundwave would be there beside him. He had to be.

"SHIP: CANNOT REACH SURFACE. THRUSTERS TOO WEAK. NEMESIS MUST REMAIN IN THE OCEAN FOR NOW."

A schematic of the Nemesis buried in the sea floor appeared on his cracked visor. Megatron growled and fired a blaster bolt into the body of water that was pooled around their pedes. The water lit up with a blinding flash and bolts of lightning danced across the entire room. Megatron raised his helm and looked up into the shadows of the Nemesis as lightning flashed and blazed around him.

"We cannot reach the surface! But that does not mean that we can't bring the surface _ to us. _ Soundwave, get to work. I have an idea _ . _"

The lightning flashed and lit up Megatron's sharp and jagged smile.

Megatron would understand sooner or later. Soundwave was patient. Megatron had always gone through brief lapses of mental instability—this was just the latest lapse. This wasn't permanent or anything like that.

Soundwave dipped his helm. "SOUNDWAVE: SHALL SERVE."

* * *

He stalked out of the throne room and briskly walked down the hallways. The drones stared at him with bright red optics and jumped to get out of Soundwave's way as he strode forward. There was something wrong. No, not with the ship and not with Megatron—although both of those things were definitely broken. The schematic his warlord had showed him was crude, but Soundwave could easily build the structure he desired.

No, something _ else _ was wrong. It was almost as if something vital to him was gone and had just vanished.

Soundwave stopped walking. He slapped his servo onto his chestplate.

It was bare.

He sent a pulse out to Laserbeak across their bond. He had felt her chittering away, but now their bond was cold and silent. The thrum of her spark pulsed in time with his, so she was still online. She had to be. He couldn't bear to lose his last symbiote.

"LASERBEAK: REPORT LOCATION," he commanded over their bond.

No response.

Soundwave's visor flared.

"LASERBEAK—"

A chittering noise erupted from the other end of the bond. A strong sense of determination and pure willpower echoed across the bond and over to Soundwave.

His shoulders sagged in relief. "REPORT LOCATION."

Laserbeak went silent again. A sense of stubborness skipped across the bond along with that same sense of determination.

"LASERBEAK: CURRENT ACTIVITY?"

She chittered over the bond again and sent Soundwave a voice clip of... himself.

_ "ENDING THE WAR." _

Soundwave froze. "NEGATIVE. REFRAIN."

_ "NEGATIVE. CANNOT REFRAIN. IN THE MIDST OF A PLAN," _ she said. Then she closed the bond and went silent.

Soundwave just stared at the wall with wide optics.

He punched the wall with all of his might and watched it shatter into shards of metal. Water from the ocean gushed in and spurted across his frame. Nothing made sense anymore and he was rapidly losing control of everything—the Nemesis, Megatron, the brothers, the war, Laserbeak, he couldn't understand any of it, none of it made sense—

But he _ would _ understand where everything went wrong. He _ would _.

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this," _ the voice recording of Optimus spoke. _ "But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

He didn't understand Megatron's insanity anymore. But at least he could try and better understand the mechs who drove him insane in the first place.

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

_ "He is dead and I have accepted this. But my other brother still lives. So hand Starscream over." _

* * *

_ Skyfire looked up into the bright red sky with a grimace. _

_ "They found us," he said. Not a question, but a statement. A declaration. _

_ Starscream let out a shuddery vent and clutched the cylinder closer to his dirtied frame. _

_ The alien sun of the world they were on lit the sky up in bright reds and oranges. A harsh yellow light burned in the east like a false sun. The light dimmed and the silhouette of an Enforcer spaceship hung suspended against the dark clouds. Rain fell down in a light shower and sprinkled over their frames. _

_ "We need to fly away!" Starscream said. He grabbed ahold of Skyfire's digit—the shuttle's servo was just too big for him to get his talon around—and he tried to pull Skyfire out to the open field. The Council had come, yes they had, but he had Skyfire and they would always have each other, forever and ever. They just had to transform and fly away and— _

_ "No," Skyfire said. A deep boom shook the air as the Enforcer ship broke the sound barrier. _

_ "What?!" Starscream gaped. "We have to leave, we need to escape!" _

_ "We need to _ hide. _ If they saw us, they'd shoot us down." _

_ Starscream frowned. "But we're faster than them, and besides, I just want…" _

_ The Enforcer ship arced through the sky and left a trail of flame behind in the rain clouds. _

_ "You want what, Starscream?" Skyfire said as he crouched down. _

_ "I'm tired of hiding," Starscream said. _

_ Skyfire let out a deep vent and pulled Starscream away from the open field and its promise of freedom. He hated hiding, but it was the only thing they could do. He hoped he'd never have to hide from anybody ever again. _

_ "This cylinder is our secret meant for trusted bots only," Skyfire said as he looked at the cylinder reverently. "Nobody can ever be allowed to know about it. Who knows what the Council would do with this information?" _

_ "Why are you explaining this? I know that already." _

_ "Do you?" Skyfire said as he looked up. "I worry for you and sometimes I feel like I need to remind you what's important here. Because..." Skyfire bit his lip. _

_ "Because what?" _

_ "I worry what might happen to you if we fail." _

_ Failure. That awful, awful word. The rain fell harder. _

_ "We won't fail. Not if we're together, Skyfire," Starscream said as he flapped his wings. _

_ Skyfire smiled, but it was weak. "We won't always be together, Star. And I worry that if we fail this mission, that if I don't make it—" _

_ "Don't talk like that!" _

_ " _ — _ I worry that you'll burn up." _

_ Starscream scoffed. That chill that went down his spinal strut just now meant nothing. It was just cold. Primus, it was cold. Hopefully they'd be able to leave this world behind and go back to warm Cybertron. Unfortunately, he and Skyfire had to visit this planet's polar ice cap to see if they could deposit the cylinder there first. _

_ " _ — _ Are you listening?" Skyfire said. _

_ "Er," Starscream began. "Yes?" _

_ Skyfire said. "And that's why I worry! You lose yourself so easily, I worry that somebody might come along and take advantage of that." _

_ "Pfft, I won't be taken advantage of. I'm used to the Council's tricks!" Starscream said. "Stop… stop being so pessimistic. You're scaring me." _

_ "...Good. Primus, Star, you're so optimistic, _ you _ sometimes scare _ me. _ " _

_ The air boomed. Something heavy landed on the ground and made it shake under their pedes. The muddy ground under Starscream's pedes fell away and he slipped down the edge and deeper into the wet forest. _

_ Skyfire reached his servo out to Starscream and caught onto the Seeker's talon just in time. Starscream clung onto Skyfire's outstretched servo and hung suspended over the ground. _

_ "We're not alone anymore, are we?" he whispered. Skyfire looked over his shoulder and his optics widened. _

_ "Star… there's someone else here with us." _

_ Starscream's optics widened and he looked up into the sky. A sleek dark silhouette covered the skies and drifted over their helms. _

_ His jaw dropped. That silhouette, those cold angles, the silent thrum of its engines— _

_ Skyfire grabbed ahold of Starscream and dragged him into trees as the shape floated by overhead. _

_ "What?! That's one of the Council's personal drones! Why would they send a drone after us? They said they only use their drones for peaceful purposes, n-not to hunt people down!" _

_ "He lied, Starscream. The Council lied." _

_ "Don't say their name! I don't want to even think about the C-Council anymore. Don't say their name," Starscream moaned. _

_ Skyfire sighed. "The Council lies, Starcream. It lies and lies and lies—" _

_ The two of them sat hidden in the foliage as the Council drone flew by past them. _

_ "Why… why are they hunting us?" Starscream whimpered. _

_ Skyfire's engine rumbled behind him. "You already know the answer. We have wings." _

_ Starscream grumbled. "One day this'll stop." _

_ "What will?" _

_ Starscream grit his dentae. A shadow fell over his frame as the Council drone passed overhead. "All of this. The hunting, the terror, the oppression—we'll end it all!" _

_ Skyfire just looked at him. "...No." _

_ The rain began to fall harder. Starscream blinked the droplets out of his optics and looked behind him at Skyfire. The shuttle had always supported him and his grand dreams, always, but instead of being eager to support him this time, Skyfire just seemed… sad. _

_ "Starscream, we can't fight them," Skyfire sighed. _

_ "That's what they want you to think! One day we'll take the Council down and we won't be judged for having wings anymore!" _

_ "Oh, Starscream." Skyfire dragged him closer. "We can't overthrow the government." _

_ "Well, somebody has to. It's only a matter of time before somebody takes the Council down! And when somebody does do that, we'll be there beside them. Together," Starscream said. His optics shone bright with anticipation and his wings fluttered behind him as his field flickered in excitement. _

_ Skyfire took in a shuddery breath. The drone above their helms sent out another bright pulse of light and scanned another cluster of trees right beside the one they were hidden in. _

_ "I…" _

_ "Promise me," Starscream said. He clambered up to Skyfire's shoulder and spread his wings out to stop the rain from falling onto Skyfire's helm. "Promise me you'll be beside me through every storm. You're… well, you're the only friend I have." _

_ Skyfire let out another heavy sigh. _

_ "I'll be beside you." He looked up into the rain and frowned. "If the Council doesn't get me, that is." _

_ "They won't. I won't let them take you. I'll stop them." _

_ The wind blew harder against their frames. Skyfire blinked and looked up at Starscream perched on his shoulder. "You can't stop everything." _

_ "Well… not everything… but—" _

_ "I'll be with you always Starscream. Always. Never forget why we're doing this." _

_ "I won't forget!" _

_ "Will you? Don't get caught up in your revenge, okay? I know they've mistreated us a bit—" _

_ "A bit?!" Starscream shrieked. The drone up ahead swiveled over to them. _

_ Starscream and Skyfire watched as it quietly floated up to the trees in which they were hidden. It hovered unmoving across the tops of the canopies. _

_ "Starscream… I know they've mistreated us… but—" _

_ The drone began to scan. _

_ " _ — _ it's just the way of things." _

_ Starscream offlined his optics and clenched his talons into fists. Skyfire's optics widened. _

_ "Star, whatever you're thinking of doing—" _

_ Starscream took one last look at Skyfire and jumped out of their hiding spot. _

_ " _ — _ don't do it!" _

_ He jumped right in front of the drone. It turned around and focused a single red optic right on him. _

_ It was trying to hurt not only him, but Skyfire as well, and that was completely unacceptable. He had to destroy it, he had to take it down— _

_ "Come back!" Skyfire called from the trees. The rain fell harder. _

_ He had to fight, he had to. He just needed to leap forward and end this threat with a slash of his talons. Just one leap and one slash of his talons and that would be it. _

_ "Oh, Starscream!" Skyfire moaned. _

_ He shook his helm. Just one leap and one slash of his talons and that would be it. The Council's drone could die, right here, right now— _

_ Starscream froze. He could still run, he could still take cover and go find a new place to hide, yes, but on the other servo… _

_ The drone began to scan him. _

_ "Starscream!" Skyfire called again. _

_ He wasn't doing this for himself. Starscream flared his wings. He was doing this for Skyfire. _

_ He leaped forward and slammed into the drone. The drone and him went down in a tangle of limbs and metal. They wrestled with each other in the dark wet mud of the forest. His talons sunk into the metal plating of the drone and ripped out thick fistfuls of sparking wet wires. He sunk his talons in deeper and deeper and felt something within the drone rip— _

_ "—Don't get caught up in your revenge—" _

_ Was Skyfire saying those words, or was Starscream just reliving the memory of them? _

_ "This isn't revenge," Starscream shook out. He kicked the drone's body away and stood above its smoking husk. "It's justice." _

_ There was a moment of silence. He looked behind him to see Skyfire and saw nobody. _

_ He fell to his knees. _

_ "Sky… are you there?" _

_ There was only the sound of the rain. _

_ "...Yes," Skyfire said very softly. _

_ "Come out, it's fine." _

_ He heard Skyfire take a breath. "Starscream.. Are _ you _ fine?" _

_ Starscream blinked the rain out of his optics. "Why wouldn't I be?" _

_ Skyfire emerged from the trees and looked back and forth between Starscream and the dead drone. "Star…" _

_ "Why wouldn't I be fine, Sky?" Starscream shook out. His frame was already shaking due to the rain, but now it shook even more. _

_ Skyfire opened his intake to say something. The rain fell harder and lightning flashed. He closed his intake. _

_ "Why wouldn't I be fine?!" Starscream laughed bitterly. "Why wouldn't I? Why… why wouldn't I—?" _

_ He turned around and looked at the torn and mangled drone. His optics widened. _

_ "I didn't think… I didn't mean for this to happen, I—" _

_ Starscream knelt over and made a choking noise. He killed it, and he barely even remembered it. There was so much energon. Where did that murderous urge even come from? It just angrily burst out of him. _

_ Heavy pedesteps shook the ground behind him and a heavy servo rested atop his shoulder. He wasn't sure, but it seemed like Skyfire was shaking. Skyfire stared at Starscream with wide blue optics. _

_ "I might not survive this mission and if I don't, I won't be able to hold you back anymore. You'll have to hide the cylinder and the knowledge of the ancients away without me. If you ever feel like you're losing your way, just look at the cylinder. I put something there for you." _

_ Starscream fluttered his wings. "What's on the cylinder? What did you add?" _

_ "Look at the data hidden on the cylinder if you ever lose your way. Don't freak out again. We'll be fine, Starscream! Just you see… just please… don't do that again. Okay?" _

_ Starscream took a shaky vent and nodded as Skyfire began to rub his back. "I promise. I don't know what got into me. I promise I'll never kill anyone else ever again." _

* * *

"Wake up. I'm bored."

Starscream laid on his berth and stared at Optimus's unconscious frame. He nudged Optimus's limp servo and sighed.

"Don't poke my patients," Ratchet grumbled as he entered the medbay.

"About time! When can I fly again?"

Ratchet looked up at him and his faceplate tightened. Starscream's spark froze.

"You _ can _fix my wing, right, Doctor?"

Ratchet sighed. "I can, but it's not going to be easy. That blast tore right through your inner skeletal structure. I'm going to have to weld it from scratch."

"Scratch?" Starscream's remaining wing flared out and he lost his balance and leaned heavily against the wall. Ratchet moved forward to support him.

Starscream's optics widened. "Why are you helping me?"

"You're my patient! Now back on the berth, hep hep!"

"No, I mean, why are you even bothering to rebuild my wing at all?"

"Because you're my patient, why is that so hard to understand?"

"Because…" Starscream bit his lip. Why _ was _that so hard to understand?

Ratchet sighed. "I welded your chestplate, but you'll still experience some pain. The damage to your chestplate was rather… extensive."

_ —Soundwave loomed over him and his single visible optic narrowed and he dug his digits deeper into Starscream's chestplate— _

"You need to get up and move more," Ratchet said.

"I can finally leave this medbay? Thank Primus, I think the ceiling's going to collapse on me at any time, it's so low—"

"Starscream," Ratchet said. He said his name with such intensity that it made Starscream stop and turn around.

"After we all got back to base, Optimus talked to me and…"

Starscream's spark sank.

"...he mentioned that Megatron had said some interesting things."

He tried not to flinch at the mention of _ his _name. "I'm not sure why you find the rambling of a mad mech to be interesting, but each to their own I suppose."

Ratchet sighed. "Starscream, Optimus told me what Megatron said to you in the canyon. He said that Megatron designed your frame. Did he really…?"

"None of your business!" Starscream snarled.

"I've seen your medical files."

"What? When did you get those?"

"You sent them to me, remember?"

"What—? Oh. _ Oh. _"

Ratchet just sighed. "Yes. _ Oh. _ Starscream, we can talk about it later. But we _ do _need to discuss what Megatron did to your frame."

"I… I see." That was a conversation he intended on never having. "Well, if you'll excuse me—"

Bulkhead suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Screamer! You ready?"

"I… huh?" Starscream stuttered.

"You need exercise in order to get your new energon flowing again. You're going to scout out a small cave with Bulkhead," Ratchet said.

It was the opportunity to escape that he had wanted. Yet now that he finally found himself leaving the medbay, he couldn't help but glance back at Optimus's prone frame. Ratchet noticed and frowned.

"The mission shouldn't take more than half an hour," Ratchet said.

Starscream nodded. He began to walk away when suddenly a servo fell on his shoulder. Starscream yelped and slapped the servo off of him.

Ratchet looked at him with wide optics.

"Oh, uh," Starscream began. "Was that _ your _servo?"

Ratchet's armor drooped. "Oh, Starscream. We need to talk about what Megatron did to you."

"Not now!"

"No, not now. But soon. Soon."

Bulkhead glanced between Ratchet and Starscream before he cleared his throat. Arcee glanced at Starscream and then quickly looked away as she activated the groundbridge. Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Starscream all walked through the bridge. Starscream didn't need to look behind him to know that Ratchet was staring at him as he left.

* * *

"I hate this planet."

"You hate everything!" Bulkhead said.

"True. I don't hate flying, though."

"Sucks to have a missing wing, doesn't it?"

Starscream fluttered his single wing. "Yes, I supposed it does 'suck' as you so eloquently put it, Wrecker. I can't sense anything to the right of me!"

The mine loomed before them. Starscream abruptly stopped walking and looked into the mine's deep dark depths. He felt a breeze of air blow past his left wing, but on his right side he felt nothing but cold air where his other wing should've been. He was going into this half-blind.

"You gettin' the heebie jeebies?" Bulkhead whispered.

"The _ what? _" Starscream hissed.

A cold draft of air blew out of the cave and across their frames as they walked inside the cave. Starscream's chestplate pulsed in pain as he walked inside. Something purple glinted high up on the cave's ceiling.

_ "Oh, Starscream," _a voice whispered from the shadows. Starscream froze. He'd recognize that rich timbre anywhere.

"Who said that? Did you say that?"

Bumblebee looked at him. _ "I said nothing. Starscream, are you…?" _

"No! Don't finish that sentence!"

_ "...Are you seeing things again?" _

"I see nothing but an annoying scout, a Wrecker, and a dead mine. Let's go back to base," Starscream scoffed. The walls seemed as if they were closing in on him. Normally he could sense all of the airflow in any room he was in, but he was completely missing a whole wing, and now? It felt like he could see with only a single optic. He was half blind, and who knew what could be waiting for him in the darkness that he couldn't sense?

The voice laughed again. _ "Oh, Starscream," _Megatron's voice said.

"He's _ here! _" Starscream hissed.

"Uh, who is?" Bulkhead asked.

Starscream whirled around to face them and looked into their wide optics. _ "Him." _He didn't dare to speak his designation because that would make it real, would make it feel like he was really actually there.

"Do you mean Megs?" Bulkhead said.

"Don't say his name!" Starscream hissed and _ Primus, _ why was the ceiling so low? It shouldn't be that low, it shouldn't, and he should be able to sense all of the air flowing around him, but he was down a wing so he could only sense half of it and he was stuck with two grounders who couldn't sense a thing and _ Primus— _

_ "Once we were brothers," _Megatron's voice echoed through the shadows.

A chill went down Starscream's backstrut. He'd recognize that smooth and kind voice anywhere. Except the kindness was a lie, it had _ always _been a lie—

Starscream looked off into the shadows of the cave and darted his helm around.

"Get your blaster ready," he hissed to Bumblebee. He tried to transform his own servos into his blasters, but an error message that said they were deactivated appeared on his HUD.

"No, no get away you stupid error message!" Starscream shook out. If Megatron was really here, he needed to be able to see him and couldn't have his vision littered with error messages. Starscream tried to dismiss the image off of his HUD and held his helm in his servos. "I need to see, _ I need to see—" _

_ "Starscream!" _ Bumblebee reached forward and grabbed ahold of Starscream's wrists. _ "Calm down—" _

_ —Megatron had grabbed ahold of his wrists whenever he disobeyed, he'd grab on so tightly and squeeze until the delicate plating across Starscream's servos split and bent and— _

Starscream jerked backwards and wrenched his servos out of Bumblebee's grasp.

"Don't touch me!" he hissed. Bumblebee's optics widened and he backed off.

_ "Starscream… you're having another memory lapse." _

Starscream bit his lip. On one hand he desperately hoped with all his spark that it was really just him, the Wrecker, and the scout in that cavern—but on the other hand, a small part of him wanted his fear to be valid. He really wanted to know he wasn't jumping at shadows for no reason. It was getting harder to tell the past from the present and _ Primus, _he wasn't saying any of this out loud, was he?

"Did I say any of that out loud?" Starscream breathed out as he dragged his servos down his faceplate.

Bumblebee was silent.

"Well, did I?!" Starscream snapped.

Bumblebee let out a heavy sigh. _ "You mumbled all of that, yes." _

"Oh, lovely!" Starscream laughed. He kept turning in a circle and kept scanning his optics over the cave for any sign of silver armor and red optics. "Just great, just great. Let's just get the energon and go, how about that? Away from this stupid cave and the stupid low ceilings and everything!"

He looked up at the ceiling and a wave of nausea hit him. Mistake, mistake, mistake—

_ "Starscream! Calm down, Megatron is not here, he's _ not _ ." _ Bumblebee said as he approached Starscream. Bulkhead watched with wide optics.

Bumblebee moved forward to place a reassuring servo on his shoulder. He didn't want anybody but Optimus to touch his shoulder, Megatron—

"Megatron would crush my shoulder in," Starscream said. His optics widened. He shouldn't have said that, but the words just blurted out of his intake.

Bumblebee's optics softened and he stepped back. _ "Starscream…" _

"I didn't mean to say that!" Starscream snapped. "Pretend you didn't hear that. Let's just…"

"Why'd he do that?" Bulkhead blurted out. "Crush your shoulder, I mean? I knew he was nasty, but…"

Starscream just stared at the Wrecker. "You didn't hear me say that."

Bulkhead blinked. "But we did. The team and I, we hear all of it—"

Bumblebee reached out and grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's shoulder. He looked the Wrecker in the optics and rapidly shook his helm back and forth.

This was too much.

_ "It is? Do you want us to leave?" _Bumblebee trilled.

Starscream whirled around. "Wha—Did I say that out loud?!"

Bumblebee nodded slowly. _ "It's okay—" _

"No, it's _ not. _" He wanted to be alone, but he didn't want to be alone, he wanted to be free of the Autobot and their pitying stares, but he wanted to be free of the aching silence—was he saying any of this out loud? It was hard to tell—Starscream moaned and held his helm in his servos.

Bumblebee trilled in pity. _ "Oh, Starscream." _

A laser bolt shot into the ground between their pedes. They all jumped back and away from where it collided with the ground as a large cloud of dust whirled up into the air. Starscream's optics shot open and he scanned the dirty dust cloud for any sign of the Autobots.

"Uh, scout? Wrecker?" He said as he rose to his pedes.

The last time he was in a thick cloud like this he was desperately chasing after the silhouette of a vanishing shuttle—

The whirling dust confused the sensors on his lone wing and he felt his unbalanced frame begin to tip to the side. Starscream grunted and clung onto the wall as he scanned the clouds. The Autobots would appear, they would, they _ had _to. He couldn't afford to lose more bots in yet another blizzard.

Panic began to claw its way up his throat. "Autobots?"

His chestplate pulsed with pain and it felt as if somebody was trying to dig their talons into it all over again.

Something chittered up above him. _ "Oh, Starscream," _Megatron's voice whispered through the dust.

"No, no, you get away!" he shouted into the gloom. "Bumblebee? Bulkhead?"

He tried to wave the cloud of dust away with his servos, but that just made it worse. His single wing twitched in fear, his gyros were destabilized and he leaned heavily against the wall—

Somebody grabbed him. Starscream yelped and tried to kick them away, but whoever they were they had a heavy servo that he couldn't dislodge. The servo was so warm and heavy, just like Skyfire's was.

He stumbled out of the dust cloud and looked up and into the optics of Bulkhead. "You okay there Screamer?"

_ "Oh, Starscream," _ Megatron's voice whispered. _ "Oh, Starscream, oh Starscream, oh Starscream, Starscream, Starscream—" _

"I'm fine."

Bulkhead and Bumblebee looked at him warily. "We should go back to base. We have no idea where that shot came from, so let's get the heck outta dodge."

Bumblebee called for a comm and Bulkhead held tightly onto Starscream.

"You know you can let me go right?" Starscream said.

"Yup," Bulkhead said.

Starscream blinked. "So why aren't you?" He tried to wriggle out of Bulkhead's grasp, but the Wrecker just tightened his grip.

"Just let me hold you, Screamer."

"I—"

"Just let me, okay? You need it."

"I… I don't…" Starscream let out a sigh. "Okay."

A groundbridge appeared and the three of them began to walk to it. Bulkhead led Starscream to the bridge and cast a glance back over his shoulder and into the darkness of the cave. For a split second he thought he saw something violet flash up in the darkness of the cave.

"Huh…"

Bulkhead turned around through the bridge and never looked back.

* * *

How interesting. Firing a laser bolt into the dust to make that little cloud appear was a good trick. It resulted in all sorts of delightful panic. The traitor didn't like the low ceilings and was apparently hearing voices. Laserbeak clung upside down onto a stalactite and recorded everything from above. What voices was the traitor hearing? Did he hear Megatron's softer and kinder words? Or was the traitor hearing Megatron's voice scolding him the way he deserved?

She wasn't sure. She would have to look into this. An idea began to form in her processor and she chittered in delight. Her Creator opened the bond and sent out a pulse to her.

_ "LASERBEAK: REPORT LOCATION," _Soundwave commanded.

Laserbeak said nothing. Her Creator would definitely disapprove of this mission of hers and she could not allow him to compromise it.

_ "LASERBEAK—" _

No, she would prove herself to him. She just had to reassure him and get him off of her back from now. She finally had an opportunity to avenge her dead fellow symbiotes and she could not allow her anxious Creator to rip that opportunity from her.

She chittered and sent a strong sense of determination and pure willpower across the bond and over to Soundwave.

_ "REPORT LOCATION," _ he said.

No.

She went silent again and her stubbornness skipped across the bond.

_ "LASERBEAK: CURRENT ACTIVITY?" _

She chittered over the bond again and sent Soundwave a voice clip of himself.

"ENDING THE WAR."

_ "NEGATIVE. REFRAIN." _

"NEGATIVE. CANNOT REFRAIN. IN THE MIDST OF A PLAN." she said. There would be no refraining, no hesitation, no moment to pause—just _ action. _She was tired of waiting. Laserbeak shut the bond on her Creator and flew off into the dark shadows of the cave as she trilled in excitement.

Her frame glowed bright violet as she shut off the bond to Soundwave. He didn't need to see this. None of the Decepticons understood what had to be done—except for her, of course. The Seeker was breaking apart at the seams and lost in his own memories. The solution to the Decepticon's problem was obvious. Manipulating Starscream would be easy. Megatron had even used this exact same technique on Starscream before.

This plan had helped Megatron get the trinemates out of the picture.

It had worked _ flawlessly. _

Now Laserbeak just had to repeat the plan again in order to get the Autobots out of the picture.

Since she now understood just how to manipulate Starscream, she could move on to phase two of her plan. Laserbeak ran a scan right over her systems and she saw that her holoform generator was working perfectly.

Good. She would have to use that to her advantage.


	13. Voice of a Dead Mech

Starscream walked right through the groundbridge and right into the base. He walked past Arcee and the human children on his way to the medbay.

Raf watched Starscream stomp off. "Is he okay?"

Bulkhead and Bumblebee looked at each other. There was a moment of silence.

_"...No. Not at all,_" Bumblebee said.

Starscream heard none of their conversation. He darted into the medbay and threw himself down onto his berth beside Optimus.

Optimus was still deep asleep.

"Lucky," Starscream mumbled. "How nice would it be to just go to rest on your berth and not wake up for a long long while. Or… ever at all?"

Optimus said nothing.

Starscrream just needed to sleep. His systems just needed a reboot, that was all. When he awakens he'll feel fine and all the terror of the cave will be gone.

Starscream's chestplate pulsed in pain and he gently lifted a servo to trace the weldmark on his chestplate.

"It won't heal," he whispered to Optimus. Once again, there was no response.

"Primus, what am I thinking? You're not even awake, yet here I am talking to you! It won't heal right. I'll have a big grey line in the middle of my chestplate for… the rest of my function, I suppose. Which probably isn't that long. It's only a matter of time before… before _he _finishes me off—or before I get so terrified, my fear will make my own spark just collapse in on itself."

Optimus's vents whirred and hummed in his recharge. Starscream curled up on the berth and stroked his new Autobot badge.

"I'm scared. I don't know why, but I can't stop dreaming of my old friend. His memory always comes back to haunt me at the worst moments. He was… was not that different from you, Prime. Or from the Wrecker, in fact."

Something clattered in the doorway.

Starscream's helm shot up and he looked out of the medbay at the sight of a wrench on the floor. He looked upward and saw Bulkhead standing beside a work table he had jostled.

"Uh… yup. Just getting a wrench. Which I dropped. 'Cause I need a wrench!" Bulkhead stuttered.

Starscream went still. "How much did you hear?" he asked softly.

"Well, er…"

"How. Much?"

"Just, a, um…" Bulkhead sighed and his shoulders fell. "All of it."

"What?!" Starscream jumped off the berth and ignored the way the motion made his chest twinge in pain. He walked right up to Bulkhead and flared his wing, but the weight of it made him tip over and into the wall.

Bulkhead moved forward and caught him. "Woah there, Screamer!"

Starscream growled. "You didn't hear anything."

Bulkhead sighed. "Starscream…"

"You didn't hear a word! Not a single! Word! Pretend this didn't happen!"

"...What was he like?"

Starscream froze. "What?"

Bulkhead readjusted his grip on Starscream. "Your old friend. Do you wanna talk about him?"

"Uh. No. What do you want? Why did you even come here?" Starscream said.

Bulkhead just continued to stare at him. "Um, I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Well, here I am, and I can assure you that I'm perfectly 'okay.'"

Bulkhead shook his helm. "...No. You're really not. When are you gonna stop lying to yourself?"

"I'm not lying to myself!"

Skyfire's voice drifted through his helm. _"The Council lies, Starscream. It lies and lies and lies."_

Bulkhead and Starscream just stared at each other.

"Come on, Bulk!" Miko called from the main room. "You're missing the big monster truck race!"

Ratchet ran up to Bulkhead. "No more monster trucks and no more bothering my patients! You're needed on a mission. The Decepticons are trying to claim an important relic of the ancients!"

"Yes!" Starscream said. "You go and take care of that and stop lurking in medbay doorways, how about that?"

Bulkhead frowned and looked back and forth between Starscream and Ratchet. "Ah, sure. But Starscream…" He grabbed ahold of the Seeker's shoulders and twisted Starscream around so that he was facing him. "Remember, if you ever wanna talk about your old buddy… I'm here."

Starscream watched Bulkhead walk off with wide optics.

* * *

A day later, Bulkhead appeared in the doorway again.

"What now, Wrecker?" Starscream sighed.

"Hey, Screamer. Ratchet wants me to take you on another scouting… mission…" Bulkhead trailed off and stared right at Starscream.

Startascream blinked and sat up on his berth. "Something wrong?"

"We…" Bulkhead stopped speaking and stared into space for a moment. "We're needed on a scouting mission."

"A scouting mission," Starscream repeated. There was something off about the way Bulkhead stared into space. Bulkhead's field crinkled and wavered around him and his plating spasmed and his optic twitched.

"Yup. Ready?" he stuttered.

"...Yes. What the slag happened to you on that mission, Wrecker?"

Bulkhead stared off into space as his optic twitched again. "Subspace Log 47…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing! Let's go." Bulkhead hooked his arm around Starscream's shoulders and led him right out of the medbay and through the groundbridge. Ratchet activated the bridge for them with a frown and stared at them as they walked through the green portal.

They walked through the bright green tunnel of the bridge together as Bulkhead continued to stare off into space and mumble to himself.

"Er, what happened to you on that mission?" Starscream said. He stepped away from Bulkhead and watched the Wrecker twitch and mumble to himself.

Bulkhead's optic twitched.

"There. It happened again!" Starscream shouted as he pointed at Bulkhead's faceplate.

"What?" Bulkhead asked.

"Your optic keeps twitching! What happened to you on that mission you went on?!"

"Relax, Screamer!" Bulkhead sighed as he waved his servo through the air. "Nothing to get your wings in a twist about."

They walked out of the bridge and landed in the middle of nowhere in some snowy woods. The wind whistled through the spindly black trees and their pedes crunched through the thick snow as they stomped along through the icy wind.

"And what precisely happened to you out on that mission that is not worth 'getting my wings in a twist about'?" Starscream said. He was tired of being left out of the loop, slag it! He stepped right in front of Bulkhead and forced the Wrecker to stop walking forward.

Bulkhead wringed his servos together. "Well, kay, so there I was fighting Breakdown and Knock Out over some big cylindrical doohickey—not sure what it was, some kind of data cylinder—?"

Starscream froze.

Data cylinder.

_The data cylinder._

_—A large grey cylinder with a red cap sat strapped down on the floor in front of Skyfire and Starscream—_

Starscream's optic twitched.

Bulkhead laughed and continued. "And I guess Miko kicked it or something and _wham!_ It shot a whole bunch of data right into my processor!"

"Into… into your _processor?_" Starscream whimpered.

_"Look at what's on the cylinder if you ever lose your way," _Skyfire's voice whispered in his processor. Starscream never looked at what was on the cylinder. When Skyfire died, Starscream died on the inside. He'd never gotten the chance to see what Skyfire had left for him—

"See, all you need is just some fresh air, huh? No more memory lapses!" Bulkhead laughed as he patted Starscream's back.

"Are you even in fighting condition?" Starscream asked as he and Bulkhead walked through the forest.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, a beam of pure energy from some cylinder hit you right in your processor. So there's that."

"No beam of pure energy will ever stop this Wrecker from Wrecking, Screamer!"

Something was wrong. Maybe it was the way Bulkhead's optics twitched nonstop, or the way the snowy wind whistled through the trees… but there was definitely something wrong. He only ever felt this sense of dread right after he had failed to assassinate Megatron and the warlord was after him.

"You're shivering," Bulkhead said.

Starscream halted and flared his wing. "What do you want, Autobot?"

"I wanna know why you're all jittery. You can't possibly be that cold."

"Maybe I am cold." The wind blew harder and sent shards of ice and branches at his wing.

"Something's got you riled up!"

Starscream scoffed. "I do not get 'riled up'! I am _fine._"

A faint whistling noise echoed through the dark trees up ahead. Something violet shone in the branches and then vanished with a flash.

Something landed on his shoulder and he flinched.

"Primus, what—?" He turned around and saw Bulkhead's servo on his shoulder.

"If you're so fine, then why did you just flinch?"

Starscream opened his intake. Then he closed it.

"I… I don't want to talk." His chestplate was beginning to ache again.

The trees whistled again and the sound of laughter echoed on the breeze. Starscream had to strain his audials to hear, but there was definitely a faint noise echoing in the wind. The air began to buzz.

"He's here, isn't he?" Starscream whispered.

"Who?"

"Him! Don't lie! When is he not here?!"

Bulkhead just looked at him. "Do you mean Sounders?"

Starscream looked away. Something about the way Bulkhead looked at him made him with those big blue and familiar optics made him uncomfortable. "No, I mean… _him._"

"...Screamer, ol' Buckethead isn't here! He isn't even within a thousand miles of here!"

"How do you know that? How do you know he isn't lurking around a corner?!"

"The only people lurking around here are_ us!_ Are you all right?"

"...Yes. Pathetic question. I'm fine."

Bulkhead sighed. "...Y'know, Optimus told me that bots always say they're fine when they're really not fine. So, um… gosh, I'm not that good at this touchy-feely stuff—"

"There is no need to be 'touchy' or 'feely'!" Starscream walked right past Bulkhead and closer to the dark trees up ahead. Something violet flashed in the trees again. "Bulkhead, I'm perfectly _fine, _I can assure you—"

"Are you sure you aren't trying to assure _yourself?_"

"Why, you little—!"

Laughter echoed through the air. Starscream stilled and stared into the woods. That wasn't the harsh guttural laugh Megatron made as he had beaten Starscream. That was the laugh of another warmer, nicer, and much deader mech.

Bulkhead shuffled up beside him. "Scree… what do you hear?"

"I hear… I hear him."

"Mega—?"

"Don't say his name. Just don't."

"...Buckethead, then. You feel like Buckethead is really here?"

"When do I not feel like that?"

"No need to get your wings in a twist, Screamer. He's fine, we're safe—"

"Safety is a temporary illusion that shatters the moment whenever _he _comes into the picture, Wrecker!"

Bulkhead moved and stood in front of Starscream. "Hey, look at me."

"What are you doing to me?" Starscream tried to step past him, but the Wrecker moved to block his path again.

"Er, grounding you? Isn't that obvious?"

"'Grounding me'?"

"Well, yeah. Normally that's Optimus's job, but seeing that he's off dreamin' in the medbay... and you're here busy living _through_ your _worst_ dreams… I guess I kinda just had to step up to the job?"

"Oh, so I'm a job then? A piece of work?"

"Well… you are kinda a piece of work. But that's okay."

The laughter echoed in the breeze and the snow began to fall even harder.

"Is it, though?" Starscream asked softly.

"Sure as slag, Screamer. We gotta fix you up… you're all…"

"'Wrecked up'? You're just a… a clumsy oaf, what makes you think you can fix anything, much less me?!"

Bulkhead smiled. "Well, this clumsy oaf just tricked you."

Starscream blinked and took a step backward. "...What?"

"I got _you_ to admit that you _do_ need to be fixed up."

"Well… I… That wasn't fair!"

"It wasn't fair when you lied to us all those times in the past. But you lied to us anyway. So I guess I got kinda sneaky with you. So what? We both trick people for different reasons."

"Oh?"

"You used to trick people so you could hurt em'... and slag it, Scream, I tricked you cause I'm trying to help you."

"And how does making me admit that maybe I'm not quite as strong as I once thought somehow help me?"

"It helps you see the truth. And the truth is, Starscream…"

Bulkhead leaned in close and pointed towards the dark trees.

"...Megatron's not here."

Starscream took a step back. "I…"

"He's not. Instead, you just got a clumsy oaf here with you. Would you rather be with Megatron instead of me—?"

"Primus, no!"

"See? I don't bite. So stop biting me."

"I do not bite!"

"Yes, you do, you're snarking left and right!" Bulkhead laughed.

"Is that even a word?"

"It is now, Screamer. And hey, guess what?"

Starscream rolled his optics. "What?"

"...You stopped shivering."

Starscream blinked. Now that he thought about it, his frame had indeed stopped shuddering. Bulkhead looked at him with a wide smile.

"Oh, don't get coy with me," Starscream said as he rolled his optics.

"Nope. Not coy at all."

Starscream sighed. "Let's just get this mission over with—"

The trees shook and the air began to buzz.

Starscream froze. "Bulkhead, I swear, I'm not going crazy again! There's something actually _here._"

"I sense it too, 'Scree," Bulkhead said as he stared into the dark woods with wide optics. Snow began to fall from the sky in thick white clumps that stuck to their frames and melted down into their plating. The last time Starscream had been this cold was when he was on that mission with Skyfire—

"Something's here," Starscream breathed. A tingly sensation went down his back struts and he looked all over the dark and cloudy sky for any signs of anybody at all. His optics saw only blackness and he dragged his servos down his faceplate. "No, no, not again, I can't go through this again!" Starscream whimpered as his chestplate began to ache in pain again.

"Let me check it out," Bulkhead said as he stomped through the snow and deeper into the darkness.

"No, just... stay close to me, okay?" Starscream said.

Bulkhead snorted. "What, are you scared of the trees?" He turned around and his optics widened at the sight of Starscream. "What's wrong?"

Starscream gulped. He couldn't afford to be seen as weak, he couldn't allow the Wrecker to see how much the snow was getting to him.

Bulkhead stared at him for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Starscream snapped as the snow fell harder. "Perfectly fine."

_"We'll be fine, Starscream! Just you see..."_ Skyfire's voice whispered in his helm, so calm and so full of warmth. He'd been such a warm mech, but he had died such a cold death—

Bulkhead grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder and guided him forward. "We'll check it out together. It'll be nothing, you'll see," Bulkhead kept on talking and Starscream just tuned his voice out as he stared into the woods with terror. Bulkhead continued to glance back at Starscream every few seconds as the two of them walked along.

"—and I was like, Jackie, your idea is crazy, just you see—"

_"We'll be fine, Starscream! Just you see..." _Skyfire had said.

The trees shook and a voice echoed from the dark woods. Starscream froze and stared into the dark shadows as the laughter grew louder and louder. It was a male voice, deep and warm, with a distinct Iaconian accent and—

Starscream stumbled back. He was dead. He was _dead_, he couldn't be here. His voice was all in his helm.

"Scree… did you hear that?" Bulkhead said.

Starscream's spark froze within his chestplates. "I hear that noise very clearly, Wrecker. You can hear it too?"

"Yeah," Bulkhead shuddered as he stepped backwards. "That's crazy creepy. Could it be a human making that laughing noise?"

Starscream bit his lip and tried to ignore the way his frame shook. "No. Not a human. He was so much more than just a human… so much more."

"What? Who's 'he'? Do ya know that mech who's making that noise?"

Starscream nodded his helm. "I knew him very well."

Bulkhead blinked at him. "You 'knew' him?"

"He's dead."

Bulkhead stepped backward and stared into the trees. "What?! You're makin' no sense, Screamer! Is this a prank?"

The laughter grew louder and louder.

"Do I look like a prankster to you?! I would never fool around like this, _never_, especially when it concerns the memory of _him—_" Starscream hissed. His chestplate began to pulse in pain.

"'Him'? Is this… is that the laugh of your old dead buddy, Screamer?" Bulkhead rapidly glanced back and forth between Starscream and the dark trees. "Well, this has gotta be a trap, right? Let's spring it!"

"No!" Starscream shrieked. The voice laughed on and on, so warm and yet so cold at the same time. The snow fell harder and bit into their frames.

"What? Are you scared, Screamer?"

Starscream tightly grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's servo right as he tried to transform it into a wrecking ball. The laugh grew louder.

"I, well, no, I'm not scared—"

_"The Council lies, Starcream. It lies and lies and lies—" _Skyfire's voice whispered. Starscream wasn't sure if the voice was coming from his helm or from the dark woods.

Bulkhead put both of his servos on Starscream's shoulders and wiped the snow on them away as he held the shaky Seeker steady. "Calm down, Scree!"

"_You _calm down, Wrecker!"

"Relax, I've got this, I can protect us both—"

"Skyfire was unable to protect himself, so why would you be able to?!"

Bulkhead froze and looked at Starscream. "What… What happened to him?"

The laughter rang through the cold snow. "I… I don't wanna talk about it."

Bulkhead frowned. "You won't tell us stuff. You won't tell us why you're so jumpy, or who Skyfire even was, yet you talk about him all the time!"

Skyfire's voice kept laughing on and on in the woods.

"Why do I need to tell you everything?!" Starscream snarled.

"We can't help you if we don't know what's wrong, Screamer!"

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine!"

"That's the problem! You keep saying you're fine, but you're _not, _you're not, you're lying to yourself—"

"I have to lie to myself! It's the only way I could handle the fact that _Megatron_ had lied about _everything!_"

_"_—_it lies and lies and lies—" _Skyfire's voice echoed from the trees. Starscream's chestplate pulsed in pain with the rhythm of Skyfire's words. He wasn't sure if his chest hurt because of his healing injury, or if his spark hurt with the grief of remembering Skyfire.

Bulkhead looked at him with wide optics. "You lie to yourself too. So… you're finally admitting that to yourself…"

Starscream blinked the snow out of his optics and flared his wing. "Yes, I'll admit it, I do lie to myself, I do, just don't go towards those_ trees_, slag it! Save yourself!"

"But…" Bulkhead sputtered. "Why do you wanna save me so badly? I thought you didn't like me."

Starscream blinked. Why _did_ he want to protect the Wrecker's wellbeing? He was brash and loud and annoying. And yet...

Bulkhead just stared at him and patiently awaited his response. Patiently. Patience. Bulkhead had patience for him_—_something Megatron_ never_ had. Optimus was patient, Bulkhead was patient, Skyfire had been patient_—_

"I… I just think you're useful to the team. That's the only reason, Wrecker," Starscream sighed. It wasn't the truth, not really, but the mere thought of even _saying_ the truth made a knot form in his tanks.

Skyfire's distorted voice rang through the falling snow._ "—it lies and lies and lies—" _

Bulkhead frowned. "That's the _only _reason you wanna save me?"

"The only reason, yes!" Starscream shouted.

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

Bulkhead stared at him with wide optics. His optic twitched.

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

"Whose voice is that?!" Bulkhead growled. "Not now, creepy voice! I'm talking with Screamer! Star, d'ya really wanna only save me because I'm useful?"

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

Starscream flinched. "You... you just called me Star for the first time."

Bulkhead nodded slowly. "Yeah. Does that matter?"

Starscream bit his lip. "No."

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

"Reaaalllly? I kinda overheard your chat with Raf, and you seemed pretty touched when the kiddo called you what ya wanna be called."

"What?! You were listening in?"

"Not intentionally! You were loud, okay? 'Cause you were just so shocked. I had no idea that lil' nickname meant so much to you..."

"No," Starscream shook his helm. "That little nickname means nothing to me."

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

"Well, didn't your old buddy also call you Star?" Bulkhead scratched his helm.

Skyfire's voice continued to laugh on and on in the woods.

"Well, er, yes, but..." Starscream stumble.

"Then why wouldn't you want to be called what you really wanna be called?"

"Because... because... it's just a stupid nickname, it means nothing to me_—_"

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

"Well, doesn't it remind you of better n' happier times, Scree, or should I say... Star?"

Starscream crossed his arms and blinked the snow out of his optics. "No. It really doesn't."

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

"Why won't that stupid voice just _shut up_?!" Starscream snarled.

"I dunno, Screamer. I don't know. Maybe I should take care of it myself, you're beginning to shiver again," Bulkhead said as he began to lead Starscream away from the woods.

Starscream pulled away from him. "No, no, I'm fine, really, I am_—_"

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

The trap, the voice, the laughter. It was all meant for Starscream, and he knew it. There was a storm awaiting him and he couldn't risk dragging Bulkhead into it, he couldn't lose another friend in yet another storm. Not again, not ever ever again.

"Awww, Star..." Bulkhead said.

Starscream froze. "Wait, did I say all of that out loud?!"

"Yeah, Star. Yeah. It's okay though_—_!"

He rapidly shook his helm. "No, it's not okay, it's not true, you, y-you don't... remind me of anybody..."

Starscream's wing flared._ "You remind me of Skyfire!" _

He stumbled backward. Bulkhead's jaw dropped. The voice in the woods went silent.

"... I do?" Bulkhead asked softly.

"Well, no, wait, I mean—"

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

_"Fine then!"_ Starscream screamed into the woods. "It's true! The Wrecker reminds me of Skyfire, okay? It's true, it's true, I'm not lying! Not to him and not to myself!"

Silence reigned.

"Starscream…" Bulkhead began.

Starscream froze.

"...thank you," Bulkhead finished as he nodded.

"What? Why are you thanking me? I just told you that you remind me of a dead mech!"

"A very kind dead mech, Starscream. I'm glad to be compared to somebody as great as he was."

Starscream's wing drooped. "He was a great mech. He really was," he said.

Bulkhead looked at him and smiled. "Hey, Star—"

A tree exploded. A hot violet bolt ripped through the air and collided with a nearby tree in a flash of searing hot magenta light. Bulkhead and Starscream were thrown backward by the sheer force of the blast and rolled into the snow.

Bulkhead sat up. "Who shot that?"

"I don't have any weapons, Wrecker!"

A chittering noise echoed through the branches and something shone violet up in the canopy.

Starscream's spark shuddered. "I knew that was somebody here!" he swore.

He moved to run, but Bulkhead reached out and grabbed ahold of his servo. He pulled Starscream close to him and looked him in the optic with the most serious look Starscream had ever seen on him.

"Listen, Screamy!"

A tree right next to them exploded in a shower of splinters and violet light.

"—Megatron is not here. I know the guy, okay? And if it was really him here, we'd be dead by now—"

Another tree exploded behind Starscream and sent a hot wave of air over his wing.

"—so that's not Megs, all right? It's. Not. Him. So don't freak out, okay? Don't freak out!"

The Wrecker had such a tight grip on his servo. A part of him wanted to grab onto the Autobot's arm and just wrench him away. He lifted his talon to do just that, but then he looked up into Bulkhead's optics. The forest itself was exploding around them, yet his blue optics still remained warm and calm.

Warm and calm. Just like a certain shuttle's.

Starscream bit his lip and let Bulkhead continue to hold onto him. "How do I know it's really not Megatron, though?"

Bulkhead transformed his other servo into a wrecking ball as his field flared with determination. "Starscream, you _already _know it's not Megatron here. And besides, even if it is him—which it's not!—you've faced Megatron down before. If you could face him down before..."

Another plasma bolt ripped through the air and made the snow by their pedes explode.

"...then you can do it again."

He just stared at Bulkhead. Another plasma bolt shot out of the canopy, except it wasn't aimed at the snow or at a tree, it was aimed right at Bulkhead—

Starscream leaped forward and slammed Bulkhead down and into the snow. The bolt whizzed over their helms and made a boulder behind them explode in a shower of rubble and dust. Bulkhead stared up at Starscream with wide blue optics through the dust.

_—Skyfire stared at Starscream with wide blue optics—_

There was no time to think. He grabbed ahold of Bulkhead and helped him stumble to his pedes as the heat of another bolt blazed past them. The two of them hid behind a boulder and pressed their backs to it as their unseen attacker continued to rain down a volley of hot violet plasma and exploded snow.

Their hidden attacker drifted through the branches and charged up for another blast.

Whoever it was was trying to hurt not only him, but Bulkhead as well, and that was completely unacceptable. He had to destroy it, he had to take it down—

"Oh no, I don't like that look on your faceplate!" Bulkhead said.

He had to fight their enemy, he _had_ to. He just needed to leap forward and end this threat with a slash of his talons. If he could do it before, he could do it again. Starscream peered over the top of the boulder and looked up into the branches high above. Just one leap and one slash of his talons and that would be it.

_What if it was Megatron?_

_"Oh, Starscream," _Megatron said. His oily voice drifted through the air and Starscream wasn't sure if the warlord's voice was just a harsh memory, or if he was really there, whispering into his audial—

He shook his helm. Just one leap and one slash of his talons and that would be it. Their attacker could die, right here, right now.

_"Oh, Starscream."_

The voice was louder now, but he had to ignore it.

"Starscream!" Bulkhead shouted. A servo closed around his remaining wing and pulled him down.

Starscream shrieked and kicked back at his attacker. "Megatron, no—!"

He opened his optics and looked right into Bulkhead's. The Wrecker stared at him with wide optics and snatched his servo away from Starscream's wing.

"Wait…" Starscream breathed heavily. "That was _your _servo on my wing?"

There was a single moment of silence.

Bulkhead nodded. "Yeah. Star—"

"I can do it!" Starscream said. Hot shame coiled in his field—he should've never shown such weakness—he had to take down their attacker, he had to, for both of their sakes.

"No, you can't kill that 'Con, Star. Look at you, you're burning up!" Bulkhead said as he gently pushed Starscream back down.

_"You're burning up,"_ Optimus's voice whispered in his helm.

_"You're already burnt up,"_ Megatron's voice laughed.

_"I'm worried you'll burn up—"_ Skyfire's voice began to say.

"I can kill him," Starscream said softly.

Bulkhead shook his helm. "No, Star. You can't."

He'd killed a thousand drones before, a thousand bots, taken down a thousand ships, and he couldn't even find it within himself to take down a single bot. Just one leap and one slash of his talons and that would be _it_.

He didn't have to do this for just for himself. Starscream flared his wing_. _He had to do it for Bulkhead.

Their hidden attacker swung around and began to scan him.

"Oh, Starscream!" Bulkhead shouted.

His vision blurred. Their attacker was Soundwave—no, now it was Breakdown, but it had a red optic, so maybe it was Knock Out? Or, Primus forbid, _Megatron_—

_"You're burning up, Starscream,"_ Optimus's imaginary voice echoed mournfully through the air.

He should've leaped forward and slammed into their attacker when he had the chance.

Starscream froze.

Bulkhead yanked him down just in time to save him from a blaster shot. A tree exploded behind them and showered splinters all over them.

Bulkhead pressed Starscream down against his frame as they hid back behind the boulder. "We can just hide for now and I'll kill our attacker when we get a chance. It's okay," Bulkhead said. His voice was the softest Starscream had ever heard it.

"No, it's not! I should be able to do this, I could kill so many bots before, slag, I've been in this very same _situation _before and—"

He stood up straight and looked into the woods. Something violet shone in the branches and a bright blood-red light glowed in the trees.

Just one leap and one slash of his talons and that would be _it._

"Oh, Starscream," a voice said. It wasn't Megatron's, Optimus's, Skyfire's, or any other voice from his memories. It was Bulkhead.

Starscream took one last look at the enemy in the treetops. He could kill him. He could.

His vision blurred and he blinked. He was on Cybertron, no, now he was on the Nemesis, _no, _now he was with Skyfire beside him by a boulder, _no, no, yes—_

He fell to his knees.

"Oh, Starscream," Bulkhead said as he pulled him closer. "I'll be with you always Starscream. Always. Never forget why we're doing this."

Starscream's jaw dropped. "...What? You'll stay here? You'll be with me?" he asked softly. Another tree exploded behind him.

Bulkhead sighed. "You're a member of the team now. And Wreckers _don't _leave their teammates behind to get all wrecked up. We're not on this mission for revenge, we're not plotting to kill our attacker for vengeance—we're just plottin' to kill him for _justice._"

"I didn't mean for this to happen!"

Bulkhead snorted. "Of course you didn't. No one ever intends for these things to happen, Screamy! Obviously!"

"Wait…" Starscream leaned back and looked at Bulkhead with wide optics. "You're not gonna blame this on me?"

"Well, why would I? Why d'ya always think you're going to be blamed for everything?"

Starscream bit his lip. "Um, well…"

Bulkhead's field flared with surprise. "Oh, uh, yeah. Cause of _him_. But seriously, Scree, you don't need to worry about being blamed for random things!"

"Do I, though? Stop lying, this is my fault, it has to be! Everything is _always _my fault, I'm always the scapegoat, everybody accuses me of things I didn't do—"

"Like killing that shuttle?"

Starscream froze.

"I mean," Bulkhead stuttered. The air began to buzz. "I mean… oh, Primus, I'm slagging this all up. I know that the Council framed you for offing your buddy."

Starscream's optics twitched.

"And I know it wasn't your fault."

His talons drew into fists.

Bulkhead sighed. "I'm sorry."

"How did you know all that?" Starscream hissed out quietly.

"Well..."

"How did you know?!" Starscream shouted.

Laserbeak paused and swiveled around to the boulder they were hidden behind.

"I heard you, okay?! We all hear you!"

"Hear _what?_"

"We hear you relivin' your nightmares, Starscream," Bulkhead said so softly. Starscream had no idea the brash Wrecker could even speak that softly.

He took a shuddery vent. "And… what do you mean by 'we'?"

Bulkhead grabbed ahold of Starscream's wrist and dragged him forward and away from Laserbeak.

Starscream snarled. "Answer me—!"

"All of us!" Bulkhead said.

If Bulkhead hadn't been dragging him along, Starscream would've stopped walking altogether.

"...All of you? Prime, Ratchet, Bumblebee, Arcee?" Starscream began to shake.

Bulkhead took a deep vent. He dragged Starscream and himself behind a large cluster of trees and the two of them crouched behind them. A ray of pure violet light shot into the air and swept over their helms as Laserbeak kept scanning.

"Yes, Starscream. All of us hear you. Even the humans."

The humans.

_Raf._

Starscream just stared at Bulkhead. And stared. And stared.

"Uhh, Starscream, are you alright there? Oh Primus, what am I even saying? Of course you're not alright."

Starscream began to shake even harder. "You weren't supposed to know. None of you were ever supposed to know."

Bulkhead frowned. "And why is it so bad for us to know that the Council framed you?"

"Don't say their name!" Starscream snapped.

"Why not? We don't need to fear them anymore, they're not around here! I can say their name all I like. There's no need to fear 'em. Wait…" Bulkhead's optics widened and he leaned in until his faceplate was only a breath away from Starscream's. "You're not still scared of the Council, are you?"

Starscream recoiled. "No, no, of course not! I don't fear them, I don't, they're gone—"

_"—it lies and lies and lies—" _

Bulkhead reached out and began to rub Starscream's back. The Seeker froze.

"Yeah, Star. They are gone. But… it doesn't feel like they're gone, does it?"

Starscream reached his talons up and tried to wrench Bulkhead's arm away, but the Wrecker just tightened his grip on his shaking shoulders.

"They're not here, y'know," Bulkhead continued. Laserbeak drifted closer and sent out another scan. "They're not."

Starscream laughed. "Whose 'they'? I don't know what you're talking about—"

_"—it liessssss—" _

"Don't lie to me, but especially don't lie to yourself, okay?"

"Megatron," Starscream said. The name just burst out of his intake. "The... the towersmecha. Sentinel. They still feel like they're still here, slag it! Megatron, the Council, the Enforcers, Skyfire—"

"Skyfire?" Bulkhead lifted his helm. "You feel… you feel like your dead friend is with you sometimes?"

Starscream bit his lip. "...Yes."

Laserbeak trilled as she drew closer.

"Oh, Star—"

"Don't call me that, Bulkhead."

"Why? Isn't that what you wanna be called?"

"...Well…"

"That really is what Skyfire called you, wasn't it?"

Laserbeak sent out another pulse of violet light as she scanned the trees right beside their hiding spot.

"We need to find somewhere else to hide, Bulkhead!"

Bulkhead just continued to stare at him with wide optics. "I mean, surely all of your weird memory problems can't be that bad if you sometimes feel like your old friend is with you? He was really nice, right?"

Starscream sighed and looked away. "He was. He really was. I feel like he's here right now."

"See? It's not all bad!" Bulkhead laughed. His field crinkled in anxiety as Laserbeak drew closer. "We… we gotta go…"

Starscream took a deep vent. "Yes." He supposed he could thank the Wrecker for pulling him out of his memories, but for some reason that left a bad taste behind in his intake. There was something about the way Bulkhead looked at him that felt so familiar, yet so foreign. He didn't want Bulkhead to look at him with his strange optics and all their strange emotions. He just wanted to crawl into his medberth beside Optimus and go into shutdown mode for a long time, but that wasn't an option. But _not _showing his gratitude wasn't an option either.

"Thanks..." he began to choke out. Every word felt like a heavy weight on his spark. Bulkhead turned to look at him with those oh-so-familiar blue optics again.

"Thanks, Skyfire," Starscream finished.

He froze.

Bulkhead's optics widened.

Laserbeak trilled and flew at them at full speed. She fired a laser bolt right at the trees they were hidden behind and it exploded in a shower of dust and debris.

Starscream coughed and tried to see through the dust cloud that completely covered the forest. He couldn't see Bulkhead anywhere. A chill spread through his spark. No. No. Not again.

"Bulkhead?!" he shouted into the debris. He'd already lost his old friend to a storm, he couldn't lose another—

A servo came out of the gloom and grabbed ahold of his talon. Starscream let out a vent of relief as whoever it was pulled him out of the dust cloud.

"Ugh, how I loathe dust. You have my thanks, Bulk—" Starscream looked up at his savior and his words died in his intake.

"Oh, no problem Starscream!" Skyfire said.

Starscream blinked.

Skyfire just smiled.

"You… you're _dead,_" Starscream whimpered.

Skyfire just continued to smile. "Am I, though?"

"Yes! _Yes!_" Starscream began to shake. It was Skyfire right in front of him in all his glory. His wings, his armor, his paintjob, his warm blue optics—it really was Skyfire, all the way down to the tiniest of details.

"Who told you I was dead? The Council lies, Starscream. It lies and lies and lies!" Skyfire continued. Bulkhead stepped up behind Skyfire and looked up at the massive shuttle with wide optics.

"Starscream!" Bulkhead whispered to him.

Skyfire's smile flickered and a grimace briefly replaced it. He looked behind him at Bulkhead and stepped in front of the Wrecker so that his massive wings would block him. "Ignore the grounder, Starscream. You don't need him. _We _don't need him."

Starscream let out a breath of relief he'd waited a thousand years to let out. "You're here."

"Starscream, _no!_" Bulkhead shouted. He tried to step past Skyfire, but the shuttle reached an arm out and pushed Bulkhead back again.

"Starscream… _yes._" Skyfire smiled. His optics were bright and blue and so so so warm.

A deep sense of unease worked its way through Starscream's spark. He took a step back. "This is too good to be true," he shook out as he walked backwards.

Skyfire's smile flickered again. "But it _is _true, Starscream. It's really me. How else could you explain why I'm here? I lived, I left the storm, and I found you. I _found _you, so don't run. Don't make me have to find you again."

He looked exactly like Skyfire. Even his warm EM field bubbled the same way Skyfire's did. He never actually _saw_ Skyfire die, did he? Starscream just saw his silhouette vanish in the blizzard. Maybe it's not too implausible, maybe the shuttle really was here—

"Don't believe him, Star! Don't!" Bulkhead shouted. The air began to buzz and his voice began to sound dim and distant. Bulkhead began to shout again, but it was almost like he was shouting at somebody else now. "You! Get away from here you purple little freak—!"

"We can still finish our mission, my dear Starscream. We can leave this world behind and build Cybertron anew. Wouldn't you like that?" Skyfire said as he leaned down until he and Starscream were optic level.

Starscream nodded. "...Yes. I would like that."

Skyfire smiled. His optics flickered. "I would like that too! But first, we need to get rid of our enemies…" He slowly turned around and looked back at Bulkhead. Bulkhead stared up into the treetops and wildly fired his blaster at something hidden in the canopy.

"Our enemies?" Starscream breathed. "The Council? The Enforcers?"

Skyfire's smile grew even wider. That was strange. Starscream didn't remember him having that many teeth. "They're already dead, Starscream. You saw to that and you did a good job. A very, _very_ good job. But now you need to do another job. Another mission. Like a science mission… but this one is different. If you want to leave Earth with me, I need you to kill our remaining enemy."

Starscream took a step back. Skyfire _definitely _did not have that many teeth before. "Megatron? You want me to kill him? Please, I've been trying to for years now—"

"No!" Skyfire shouted. His optics widened once he realized he raised his voice. "I mean… not Megatron. No. He's not our enemy. Laserbeak will dispose of him. He's not our enemy."

Starscream blinked. "But then who is?!"

Skyfire smiled again and looked behind him at Bulkhead.

Bulkhead continued to fire his blaster into the treetops. "Knock it off! Knock it off! Go away, 'Con!" He glanced over at them and froze once he realized both Skyfire and Starscream were staring at him.

"No…" Starscream shook his helm. "Sky, you couldn't possibly mean _him, _right?"

"Oh, he is precisely who I mean, my dear Starscream. _Precisely._"

"I… I don't…" He turned and looked back up at Skyfire again. "No!" Starscream shrieked. "It isn't! I watched you vanish in that storm! I watched you _die_! You're dead!"

Skyfire shook his helm as he smiled non-stop. He began to walk towards Starscream as Starscream walked backwards. "Oh, Starscream. The only dead thing here is that grounder. Kill him."

Starscream froze. "You're not Skyfire. The real Skyfire would _never _talk that way. _Ever_."

Skyfire's smile vanished. "Is that so?"

"Yes!" Starscream shouted. He turned around and leaped over a log and ran towards Bulkhead—

A plasma bolt shot out from the canopy and hit him in the leg.

_"Primus!" _Starscream shrieked as he fell to the ground.

"I am not Primus. I am Skyfire." The fake Skyfire began to walk towards him.

"No, you're not! Stop wearing his face!"

"This _is _my face—!" Skyfire shouted. Bulkhead ran up behind him and swung his wrecking ball at Skyfire with a roar.

The wrecking ball passed right through him. Skyfire's frame became transparent for a split moment and the image of it flickered and wavered before his frame became opaque again.

"You're a _holoform?_" Bulkhead said in shock as he stepped back.

Skyfire smiled. This smile wasn't warm and kind like the other ones—this smile was all teeth. "I can assure you that I am actually here."

"Stop throwing holoforms around, 'Con!"

Skyfire shook his helm. "No. I am here."

"Uh, no you're not, slagger!"

"I am not here _physically. _But I am here in your processor, Bulkhead. All my messages and my logs are now in your helm." Skyfire reached out and grazed Bulkhead's helm with his holographic servo. He turned around to face Starscream and began to walk towards the prone Seeker. "And Starscream…"

Starscream snarled at him. "Get _away _from me!"

"I am afraid I cannot get away from you, Starscream. I am _in _you. I am in your very spark." Skyfire lifted a servo and pointed a digit right at Starscream's patched and welded chestplate. He grimaced at the sight of Starscream's Autobot badge.

The holographic shuttle stood up to his full height and smiled. "I am always with you, Starscream. _Always._"

Skyfire vanished.

The trees rustled above their helms and Laserbeak shot off into the night. Bulkhead fired a volley of blasterfire at her, but she effortlessly dodged and twirled past each bolt as she flew off into the stars.

Starscream and Bulkhead just stared at the empty air where she had been.

Bulkhead let out a deep vent. "...Slag. That was totally creepy. Maybe I can comm base now—"

Starscream sobbed.

Bulkhead froze and looked over at him. Starscream stared at the ground with wide optics as horror filled his field. He bit his lip and his entire frame jerked forward as he choked back another sob.

"Hey, hey hey hey! Listen, Screamer, it's fine, it's fine—"

"Are you going to make f-fun of me?! I nearly believed him! Primus, I, I nearly believed that little flying rat was really _him!_" Starscream wailed.

"Hey, let it out, let it out. I'm not gonna make fun of you!"

"Oh? And w-why not?! I'm a mess, a sobbing _mess—_"

"_No, _Screamer. Why would I make fun of you for this? That was real messed up. That was really, really _reaalllly _messed up. It's okay to let it out!"

Starscream buried his faceplate in his servos. "Of all the Autobots to think it's okay to cry… I always thought you were the precise kind of Autobot to think it was _w-wrong_ to 'let it out'!'"

"Nope. Not at all, Screamer. Not at all." Bulkhead rubbed Starscream's back and held him closer. Starscream sobbed and clung onto him. "Do you wanna talk about what happened to your buddy?"

Starscream offlined his optics. He remembered a shuttle's silhouette flying away from him, vanishing, disappearing, growing fainter and fainter and fainter—come back, Skyfire, _come back_—

"No," Starscream said softly. "Not yet."

Bulkhead's engine thrummed warmly. "Okay. But...when you _are_ ready to tell me, I'll be here."

He didn't even know how long he let the Wrecker just hold him as his frame shook and rattled with sobs.

Bulkhead clapped his large servo over Starscream's snow-covered shoulder and nodded. Starscream did not flinch. "Let's…. let's just go back to base."

Starscream bit his lip and tightened his armor in order to hide the wave of relief that rippled through him. "Okay."

Bulkhead commed for a bridge. Starscream looked off into the dark trees and stared at them. He saw the dark silhouettes of thick tree trunks and thin spindly branches, but for a split second he saw a shimmer of blue light. Skyfire's transparent frame walked back into view in the far distance. He looked at Starscream and smiled as he outstretched his servos.

A groundbridge appeared and lit up the falling snow with bright green light. Bulkhead looked back and forth between Starscream and the woods before his optics settled on Starscream. He reached out a servo to the Seeker—

_—Skyfire reached his servo out to Starscream—_

_—_And Starscream took it. He and Bulkhead vanished into the light of the bridge. As the bridge shut behind them, Starscream took one last look at the dark woods.

The bridge vanished and left the clearing empty.

The sound of laughter started up again.

* * *

"I dearly hope that you do not fail me this time, Soundwave," Megatron said. He looked out over the entire crew of the Nemesis with bright red optics. Soundwave wasn't sure, but for a split second Megatron's optics looked violet.

Knock Out looked anxiously back and forth between Megatron and Soundwave, Breakdown looked around in confusion, and Airachnid just seemed bored.

Soundwave looked up at Megatron. He had failed to raise the Nemesis from the ocean, so this was the very least he could do instead. He would not allow himself to fail the warlord the same way Starscream had failed him so many times before. "MEGATRON: WILL BE SATISFIED."

Megatron snarled. "I better be."

Soundwave led them all into a wide open room with computer consoles on all sides.

Megatron frowned. "I am not impressed."

"PATIENCE."

One of Soundwave's cables lashed out and he pressed a button on one of the computers. Alarms began to blare and the entire room began to shudder and shake. The section of the floor that they stood upon began to rise up.

Megatron watched with wide optics as the entire room lifted itself up. It extended far up above the Nemesis and sent a flurry of bubbles into the ocean water as it ascended to the surface.

It broke the surface of the ocean with a massive splash. Enormous waves smashed into the side of the tower as it rose up high above the churning ocean. Megatron looked out the viewport and down at the raging and thrashing waves below.

Megatron laughed. "Oh, _yes! _If I cannot bring the Nemesis to the surface, then I will just have to bring the surface to the Nemesis!"

Soundwave watched Megatron spread his arms out wide to the sky and laugh. He turned around and smiled at his watching Decepticons.

Megatron's optics shone a bright violet. Soundwave blinked and stared at his optics. That couldn't be right. How could the dark energon still be affecting his Lord like that? Surely he wasn't channeling the dark energon in that moment, right?

"Decepticons, I have always told you all that we must transform and _rise up. _Now we can do so… literally. Prepare yourselves. It is time for the next phase in my plan."

"What plan?" Airachnid scoffed.

"The grand plan that will not involve you if you keep mouthing off!" Megatron growled. His optics shone an even brighter shade of violet.

He stompd over to Soundwave and tilted his helm up with a single digit under his chin. "Soundwave…"

This was it. The moment in which Megatron understood the depth of his brotherly folly and admitted he had messed up—

Megatron leaned in close and whispered harshly into Soundwave's audial. "Disobey me again, and the bird will pay the price."

The bird.

The waves crashed against the tower and made him shake.

The bird.

Soundwave stared at Megatron with wide optics.

The _bird._

He sent out a ping to Laserbeak across their bond.

For a moment there was only silence. His servos clenched into fists, he couldn't lose her, not his final symbiote, he'd lost the others already thanks to Starscream's stupidity—

His bond to Laserbeak opened up. Relief flooded his frame.

"LASERBEAK: STATUS?"

She chittered excitedly. _"STATUS: VENGEANCE."_

The sound of Skyfire's laughter echoed across the bond.

* * *

Starscream stared at the wall. The quiet thrum and hum of Optimus's unconscious engine rumbled in the air and through the floor abd into Starscream's lone wing. He absent-mindedly traced the Autobot badge on his chest with his servo.

Skyfire had been there. He'd seen the shuttle with his own two optics, had felt the warm air from his vents brush across his faceplate… and it had all been a lie. Starscream screwed his optics shut and punched his medberth as quietly as he could. That little winged rat had come in and ruined anything. He couldn't allow himself to fall for that kind of manipulation again.

_"Subspace Log 47..." _Bulkhead's voice drifted through the walls.

Starscream moaned and slapped his servos over his helm. Bulkhead chanted some equation non-stop from the next room over. The rhythmic rise and fall of his voice echoed through the base and through the concrete… right into the medbay.

_"Subspace Log 47..."_

"Stop," Starscream groaned. He looked over at Optimus and snorted. The Prime was fast asleep, of course. All of the other Autobot's berths were located all the way on the other side of the base, away from the Wrecker's annoying muttering. How convenient for them. It seemed he'd be the only victim of a Wrecker-induced night of insomnia.

"Am I seriously the only bot being kept up by his mad rambling?" Starscream grumbled as he rose to his pedes. His single wing unbalanced him and he tilted to the right as he stood. He caught himself against the concrete wall and swore. "Primus—"

A servo wrapped around his shoulder and stabilized him. Starscream shrieked and jumped back. Somebody was touching him, somebody was touching him, somebody was _touching—_

He whirled around and came faceplate-to-faceplate with Bulkhead.

"Why, you imbecile! You—" Starscream began. His words died in his intake the moment he laid optics upon Bulkhead's faceplate. The Wrecker stared blankly at him with wide blue optics and his intake shook as he quietly mumbled off a series of numbers under his breath.

"Uh, are you okay?" Starscream asked as he took a step back. Bulkhead just continued to stare at him.

"Bulkhead—"

_"Subspace Log 47… Oh, Starscream…"_

Starscream blinked. "What?"

He grabbed ahold of his talon and guided Starscream out of the medbay and into the depths of the base.

"Stop! Bulkhead… can you hear me?"

He said nothing and continued to mumble equations and numbers under his breath as he dragged Starscream along behind him.

"...Bulkhead?"

Bulkhead dragged Starscream past Arcee, Ratchet, and Bumblebee. That was strange, they all should be recharging, yet there they all were in the main room. They all huddled around a computer screen and glared at it. A schematic of a very familiar data cylinder sat on the screen. The three Autobots watched Bulkhead practically drag Starscream behind him and farther into the depths of the base.

"This is going to break Starscream's spark," Ratchet sighed. He turned around and his optics widened. "Where are you two going?!" he demanded.

"I don't know!" Starscream yelped as Bulkhead dragged him along.

_"Subspace Log 47… Oh, Starscream…" _Bulkhead mumbled.

"Slow down, Primus! I just want to recharge, not go on a roadtrip!" Bulkhead dragged him into a side room. "Would you please refrain from chanting that incessant formula for just a few… hours….?" Starscream's voice trailed off.

His optics widened as he looked across the room Bulkhead had led him into. White paint was splattered everywhere. Equations and numbers were scrawled all over the walls, floor, and some were even on the ceiling. That wasn't what made Starscream gasp, though.

The symbol of the Interstellar Explorers League was scrawled across the wall. The huge symbol was splattered on with white paint and completely covered the room.

"Bulkhead? What is this?"

Bulkhead said nothing and grabbed ahold of a paintbrush. He dipped it shakily into a can of paint and began to smear equations onto the floor as he muttered on and on.

"The equation… I thought that was the only information that had been beamed into my helm, I _thought_—" Bulkhead's voice cracked. "There was other stuff on the cylinder too, Screamer. Other messages, hidden real deep in the data. I didn't realize those messages had been beamed into my helm as well, not until you triggered them—"

"Uh, Autobot? Calm down, I can't think straight."

"_I _can't think straight! I've got a dead mech's last words bouncin' in my helm, n' I gotta recite them, I gotta recite them!" he panicked.

Starscream scoffed and ignored the cold feeling that suddenly appeared in his gut. "Oh, Primus. Why am I even here, slag it?! What? I 'triggered' the voice of a dead mech? I should just go back to my berth." Starscream turned and began to walk away.

Bulkhead lunged forward and grabbed onto Starscream's servo. "The messages h-he left behind! They were hidden deep in the data, oh yes, very deep, but the moment you acted like your old self, the old self Skyfire knew, they just surged right up to the surface of my processor—"

Starscream ripped his talon free from Bulkhead's grip and stared at the Wrercker with wide optics. "What?! When I acted like my 'old self'? Bulkhead, we've only just m-met, how could you possibly know what my old self was like?"

Bulkhead's optics locked onto them and flared with white light. "No, _I _never knew the old you… but Sky did."

His servo spasmed and the paintbrush in his digits dropped to the floor. Starscream's talon shot out and he grabbed tightly ahold of Bulkhead's servo as he reached to grab the brush again.

"How do you know that nickname?! _How? _How dare you mention h-his designation, I—"

"You loved him like a brother."

Starscream's intake snapped shut and he began to shake. "How did you know his nickname? I never told you," he asked softly.

_"Subspace Log 47… Oh, Starscream…"_

"Bulkhead… what are you talking about? Did the data cylinder beam subspace logs into your helm, too?"

Bulkhead stared at Starscream more intensely than he ever had before._ "I-I worry for you, you know that? I worry. I always have to pull you back to stop you from doing something rash."_

Starscream froze. Bulkhead didn't sound like himself. The way he spoke that last sentence, the way his optics grew dim and the way he spoke with a slight Iaconian accent—it was almost as if his words weren't even his own.

"Bulkhead, what are you doing?"

"I—Starscream, I am reading out the logs," he breathed. He stumbled to his pedes and shakily grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulders.

"What logs?" Starscream asked. He cringed away at the wide-eyed look on Bulkhead's faceplate.

"I—the logs! I can feel the equation overtaking my processor, I need to speak it out loud, I need to take all of the knowledge the cylinder gave me and _r-release it—_Starscream, there's more on the cylinder besides the equation!"

"What… what are you talking about? The Ancients made that thing!" Starscream sighed. He'd inspected and analyzed every inch of the cylinder the moment he and Skyfire had gotten access to it. "If the Ancients put more on that cylinder besides the equation, we'd know."

"No, no, slag it, there was more information added into the c-cylinder later on, Starscream!" Bulkhead groaned as he stumbled back. He held his helm in his servos as he began to shake harder.

"Wrecker, are you all right—?"

"He wanted to make sure you were alright in the event he died!" Bulkhead blurted out.

Starscream just stared at him. "Who is 'he'?"

Bulkhead took a deep vent. "The friend you spoke of. The shuttle—"

"Don't say his name,_ don't!_"

"Skyfire!_ Subspace Log 47… Oh, Starscream…_"

"What are you even saying anymore?!"

Bulkhead shot forward and grabbed ahold of Starscream's faceplate in both of his servos. His grip was firm, but it wasn't tight. It was almost gentle, even—

"The Ancients only put the energon formula in the cylinder, yes, but Skyfire added _more_ stuff to the cylinder, he recorded whole messages for you to guide you! And I need to speak them, I need to recite them, the cylinder is compelling me—I can't let these messages be lost, Starscream! Listen!"

Bulkhead leaned his forehelm against Starscream's as he began to shake harder. _"The Council is after you. I didn't have the strength to tell you that to your faceplate, though, Starscream," _Bulkhead said as he recited Skyfire's words. He even spoke Skyfire's words using the same accent the shuttle had used, _Primus—_

_"I think you know that the Council is after us… but you're just so optimistic, you lie to yourself! I never want to see that optimism die. Ever. I won't let the Council get to you. I'll throw myself into the storm if that's what it takes to protect you."_

Starscream began to shake. "Bulkhead, why did Skyfire record these logs?"

_"I am recording these logs because I fear something might happen to me. Starscream, the Council is going to try something, I think—I don't know if I'm being paranoid, or if I'm right—I don't want to tell you what I think. I don't want you to get scared. I hate it when you're scared. Everything will be fine, nothing will go wrong. We'll finish this mission, drop off the relics, and head back to Cybertron and everything will be fine. And if something does go wrong… hopefully you'll discover these logs and hear my final words." _

Starscream recoiled and ripped his helm out of Bulkhead's servos. "Y-you're lying! There's no way Skyfire left logs behind for me, he's gone, _he's gone_—"

"No, he's not gone." Bulkhead said softly. He lifted his servo and pointed at his helm. "He's here in my processor. His dying words… and you need to hear them, Screamer."

Starscream froze. He could stay and listen to Bulkhead ramble on Skyfire's messages deep into the night—but that would mean losing himself in the memories again. He'd tried for so hard and for so long to leave behind his memories of that warm shuttle and his warmer words—if he stayed to listen to just a single message, he'd stay and let Bulkhead recite _all_ of them to him. And then Starscream would be doomed, absolutely doomed, he'd never be able to push the memories of the shuttle away ever again—

But if he walked away…

"You can stay n' and listen to the messages, Starscream. I—I need to recite them, okay? The data is takin' over my processor, I can't _not _recite Skyfire's last messages… but it's up to you if you wanna listen to them."

Starscream walked backwards and away from Bulkhead and his desperate gaze and bright blue optics, so bright blue, just like Skyfire's—

His pedes tripped over a paint-can and white paint splattered all over his frame and wings. Bulkhead reached a servo out to him and grabbed onto his talon. He caught him before he hit the floor.

_"I'll be with you always, Starscream. Always. Never forget why we're doing this."_

Starscream stared at him with wide optics. "Bulkhead… who spoke those words just now?"

Bulkhead's faceplate twitched. "What? _I'll be with you always, Starscream. Always. Never—"_

"Yes! That sentence right there, who is speaking those words? Are you speaking them, or did Skyfire say those words and are you just reciting them?"

"S-starscream… both Skyfire n' I…. we're _always _both gonna be with you. We're both speaking these words. _Never forget why we're doing this._"

"And what are we doing here, Bulkhead?" Starscream stuttered.

The Wrecker smiled. Starscream wasn't sure if it was Bulkhead's smile or Skyfire's. "We're doin' science, Starscream!"

Starcream's vents let out a shaky sob and he rested his faceplate in his servos as Bulkhead knelt beside him.

_"Subspace Log 47… Oh, Starscream…_"

Bulkhead recited each word of each lost log deep into the night.

Arcee, Ratchet, and Bumblebee watched with wide optics from the doorway. A bucket of fresh paint fell from Bumblebee's servos and splattered across their frames. They all watched Bulkhead wrap his shaky arms around Starscream and pull the paint-covered Seeker closer to him as he continued to recite the messages.

Ratchet let out a sigh and dragged his servos down his faceplate. "They're _both _going to get their sparks broken."


	14. Dead Mech Walking

_He was being followed._

_Starscream walked faster through the streets of Iacon. He felt the air shift and warp behind him as two heavyset frames walked after him._

_It could be his paranoia. But it could also be a pursuer._

_Starscream grit his dentae and walked even faster. He just had to make it back to the Academy and to Skyfire, and then everything would be okay. He kept his wings tucked low and pointed downwards so as to not draw attention to them._

_He walked under a streetlight and for a single luminous moment, a ray of light shone over his wings and made them shine. Two pairs of blue optics stared at him from the crowd of bots and in that moment a cold sense of dread settled in his tank. _

_They weren't just after him. They were after his _wings.

_He walked faster and so did his pursuers. He turned a corner and so did they. Starscream skidded around the street and broke into a run. He could fly away to safety, he could, but flying wasn't allowed here and he couldn't afford to have another run-in with the Enforcers—not again. He couldn't allow that to happen ever again for the rest of his function._

_"Oh, Seeker!" a voice laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh, but was instead a malicious one, the kind of laugh a mech makes whenever they're about to make a cruel joke that will only make themself laugh._

_He looked up longingly into the sky as he ran. Hot acid rain fell from the sky and made his vision blur and static out. He could do it, just spread his oh-so-hated wings the grounders loathed so much and he could take off into Iacon's starry sky—_

_He was slammed against the wall. The bright glow of the streetlight shone behind the backs of two grounders that stood in front of him. All Starscream could see of them were their bright blue optics and their distinctive wheels on their frames._

_"What's your problem?!" Starscream snapped._

_"We don't have a problem with you," the grounder said. He leaned in so close that his breath brushed across Starscream's audial. "But the Council does."_

_Starscream froze. "The Council? What, but, why?!"_

_"Why not?" The grounder gritted out. He slammed Starscream into the wall and kicked the Seeker to the ground as the acid began to fall harder. The other grounder came from behind and grabbed one of his wings tightly in his servos. They dragged Starscream out into the road and into the acid rain._

_"You know, so many Seekers have attacked Vos, do you know that?" said one of the grounders. He knelt down and held Starscream's faceplate in his servos._

_"That was so long ago, though!" Starscream sputtered. "During all of the old w-wars! Vos hasn't had any problems with Iacon for vorns—"_

_"Lies. All lies," the grounder hissed. The second grounder came up behind Starscream and put each of his servos over each of his wings._

_A cold chill shot through his frame as he felt the servos on his wings tighten. Whoever it was who had their hold on him had very, very, _very _sharp digits._

_The first grounder leaned in close and pressed his forehelm to Starscream's._

_"Sentinel sends his regards," he whispered._

_Then the pain began._

_It was sharp and swift and all-consuming. The grounder behind him dug his sharp servos into Starscream's wings and cut deeply into their delicate sensornet. Starscream wailed and tried to kick his way free, but that only made the two grounders hold him down even tighter._

_The street had been packed with bots moments ago, and now it was empty—all except for two grounders and one screaming Seeker. He was alone, completely alone there in the acid in the middle of nowhere in Iacon. The golden spires of the Academy rose up dizzyingly high over his helm, so close and yet so far._

_"Stop, stop stop stop!" Starscream shrieked as his attackers dug into his wings. Hot pain flares across his sensors and the acid fell down from the sky and dripped into the new cuts in his wings. His vision blurred and staticked out as all of his senses were consumed by the knife-sharp pain that stabbed into his wings over and over again. He fell forward and saw something blue shine on the ground below. _

_It was his own energon._

_"Oh," Starscream moaned numbly. The sight of spilt energon made his tanks lurch. He wished he'd never have to see it ever again. "Oh, t-that's mine—"_

_"Shut up!" one of the grounders said as he dug his digits in tighter._

_The pain flared white-hot and sharp, another rivulet of energon dripped down from another cut, another cut was sliced into his wings again, and then another again and again and Starscream _screamed—

He was dropped to the ground. He fell into a puddle of acid and shrieked as it splashed up into the new cuts made into his wings. Long rivulets of energon snaked their way down the planes of his wings and dripped into the acid-filled streets below. The two grounders loomed over him in the middle of the street and watched him silently. The first one just stared at him, but the other grounder—the one with Starscream's blood all over his sharp servos—just smiled.

Starscream wasted no time.

_He clambered up the wall of a steep building and ignored the way the hot acid made the cuts in his wing sting. Enforcers drove around the streets below and shone searchlights out into the air and across the walls. Starscream flinched and held perfectly still as the sweep of a searchlight shone across the wall he clung onto._

_He hoisted himself onto the roof and fell with a clang onto the hard surface. His energon mixed with the acid rain and sluiced down onto the ground in a puddle of bright blue and yellow around his knelt frame. _

_"I can do this," he mumbled blearily. He had no idea if he was talking to himself, to the Enforcers, or even to Primus. The only thing he still knew of was the pain, the hot stinging pain and nothing else._

_"It's nothing," Starscream sobbed to himself. "The p-pain is nothing, I can e-endure it, I've endured so much worse, so why can't I h-handle this?" _

_If he told himself that enough times, then maybe one day he would believe it. _

_Two shadows blocked out the light again._

_"Why are you still following me?!" Starscream shouted as he whirled around and pointed a shaky servo at his two attackers. They climbed up and hoisted themselves onto the acid-covered roof as their fields fizzled with malicious glee._

_"Why are you still in Iacon?" one of the grounders sneered back._

_Hot shame flooded Starscream's field. He should be able to fight them off, but he had completely and utterly failed—and now, he was alone, surrounded, drenched in acid._

_"I don't, I don't—" Starscream sputtered._

_A dark shape blotted out the golden glow of the Academy and a shadow fell over the roof._

_A heavy frame slammed into one of his attacker's and sent the mech through the air. Starscream stumbled back to the roof's edge as far as he could go as a new and enormous mech rose to his full height in front of him. The newcomer swung his fist out and sent the other one of Starscream's attackers to the ground. The two grounders shakily rose to their pedes and looked up at the massive black silhouette of the large mech who had beaten them._

_The attackers glanced at each other and then climbed down the roof and down the side of the building. They hit the street in a run and transformed before they then drove off into the acid-filled night. Starscream's vents breathed heavily as he watched his two attackers peel off into the darkness at full speed._

_He looked up at the large silhouette of the mech before him and his spark froze in fear. It couldn't be one of those insane rebels he'd heard about in the news, right? He dreaded the Enforcers, but he also couldn't help but dread these new and insane "Decepticons."_

_The mech walked into the light and—_

_"Oh, Skyfire!" Starscream shrieked as he threw himself at the shuttle. Skyfire caught him and held the shaky Seeker as more acid poured down over their frames._

_"Starscream… what is this?"_

_The hot acid poured over Starscream's frame and made his vision static until everything looked blurry and smeared. _

_"Who did this to you? Who were they?" Skyfire pleaded with him._

_Starscream offlined his optics and tried to pretend this wasn't happening. He wanted nothing more than to fly home to Vos, except he couldn't do that because he'd been exiled from his own home and he couldn't fly anymore thanks to the cuts in his wings. He had nothing, absolutely nothing—except Skyfire._

_"Aren't you going to make fun of me?" Starscream said softly as the acid pittered and pattered around them._

_"What?!" Skyfire gasped. He recoiled as if he had been the one who had been struck. "Never, Star! Never! Who did this?"_

_"I… I don't…"_

_"Who?!"_

_"I don't know!" Starscream shouted. He lifted his helm up into the light and Skyfire froze. The shuttle slowly and carefully reached forward and wiped coolant off of Starscream's faceplate._

_"Do… do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly._

_Starscream bit his lips and clenched his fists as he ignored the hot sting of pain in his wings. It'd be so easy to just throw himself at the shuttle and pour his spark out—but he just couldn't do that. Maybe it was the way Skyfire looked at him or the sense of shame in the Seeker's spark, but for whatever reason he just couldn't tell Skyfire just what had happened._

_"Oh, Primus, they… they carved words into your wings!" Skyfire gasped as horror bloomed in his field. He twisted Starscream around and made a pained keened noise at the sight of all of the cuts and blood on Starscream's wings._

_"What… what does it say?" Starscream said softly._

_Skyfire grimaced and remained silent._

_Starscream narrowed his optics and glared up at the shuttle. "What, you're not going to tell me?!"_

_"I don't… I don't want you to get anymore upset—"_

_"I'm not upset! I've been dealing with this discrimination for years now, okay? I can handle it, I can—"_

_Skyfire pulled Starscream close and held the bloodied Seeker against his chestplates. Starscream began to shake harder and began to pound his fists against Skyfire's massive plating. Skyfire didn't even feel it. _

_"I can handle it, I can, I can—"_

_"No," Skyfire said as he pulled back to look Starscream in the optics. "You can't. Let's just clean up the blood and go back to my dorm."_

_Starscream sniffled. "Your dorm?"_

_"Of course! I'm staying by your side!" Skyfire laughed. He tried to put a smile on his faceplate, but even Starscream could tell it was fake._

_Here was this shuttle, the only one who stepped forward to defend him, the only one kind enough to wipe the blood away—and Starscream couldn't even bring himself to look his rescuer in the optics. He couldn't allow himself to grow vulnerable, to grow weak, because opening himself up meant he was just opening himself up to failure._

_Starscream stumbled back from Skyfire. "And—and what makes you think you can stop something like this from happening again?" he shouted. He held his wings down low by his sides and tried to cover the bloody cuts in them with his shaky servos._

_Skyfire's field gave a massive pulse of grief that sent out a wave of static that completely smothered Starscream's own field. For a single moment all Starscream could see and feel was Skyfire before him._

_"Star, I can't…" the shuttle began. More acid poured down and sluiced down his frame, but he had no reaction to it—all of his attention was on Starscream. "I can't stop something like from happening again."_

_"See?! So then—so then don't promise to be able to stop this!"_

_Skyfire shook his helm and knelt down until they were optic-level. The searchlight of an Enforcer down on the street below shone into the air. The beam of light shone against the back of Skyfire's helm and silhouetted the shuttle and his massive wings. Starscream stood under Skyfire's massive shadow and for just a split second, the hot pain in his wings faded away._

_"Starscream, I won't promise to end these crimes because I know that I can't stop them from happening. But… I _can_promise to stay by you and support you when these crimes do happen."_

_The shuttle's wings blocked the falling acid and shielded Starscream from it. "You...you'll be there for me?"_

_Skyfire leaned forward and pressed his forehelm to Starscream's._

_"Of course! We'll be together forever. We can endure any storm."_

_Skyfire grabbed his medkit from his subspace—this wasn't the first time he'd patched Starscream up after an attack—and sat behind Starscream as he began to patch the Seeker's wings. He tried to hide the way his servos shook and tried to wipe away the coolant that prickled in his optics as he set to work on Starscream's bloodied and cut wings._

_The words SENTINEL SENDS HIS REGARDS were scratched deep into them._

* * *

"How much of him is left?" Optimus asked. His midsection was patched over and he leaned slightly to one side, but he noticed none of this. All of his attention was centered on the screen before him.

The machines of the medbay beeped and whirred around them, but the only thing Optimus could hear was the quiet beeps of the machine that kept track of Bulkhead. A schematic of Bulkhead's processor spun round and round on the screen.

"About 72%," Ratchet said. "But that number is dwindling."

Optimus leaned over the computer console and stared at the bright blue image of Bulkhead's processor. He clutched the edges of the desk tightly in his servos and the metal creaked from the sheer force of his grip. His entire back tightened and his field grew cold and hard around him.

"I cannot lose him," he said after several moments.

"We won't," Ratchet promised. It sounded weak even to his own audials.

Optimus continued to stare at the spinning image of Bulkhead's processor. "I do not think I could bear to lose another soldier."

"We won't lose him. Bulkhead will live."

Optimus leaned his forehelm against the top of the screen with a clunk. "His frame will live, yes. But his processor? My old friend, I do not think I could bear to stare into the optics of yet another dead mech walking. A mech whose frame lives on, but who is mentally dead inside due to the horrors of war. I would not be able to bring myself to look at him."

"You were able to bring yourself to look at Starscream," Ratchet said softly.

Optimus slowly turned around and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

Ratchet sighed. "What I _mean _is that before he defected, Starscream was… somewhat physically fine, but was mentally a dead mech walking. He was miserable. But then you brought Starscream out of the cave and into the base with us and he… he came alive again. When you were in that cave with him, you were able to look that dead mech in the optic, slaggit! And you _saved_ him!"

Optimus grimaced. "Perhaps I will be able to get used to Bulkhead's new state. But I do not know if Starscream will."

"He'll be sparkbroken."

"I must admit, I am curious as to whose logs Bulkhead keeps repeating over and over again. Why would the Ancients hide logs amongst the data?"

Ratchet slammed his wrench back onto his table in frustration. "I don't know! It makes no sense at all! And what will we do once he finally loses the last of his processor?! Optimus, how will the loss of Bulkhead affect the team?"

Optimus sighed heavily and leaned against the wall. "Deeply. He will be completely lost within the equations and logs of the Ancients. He will be as dead as…"

"Cliffjumper?" Ratchet finished.

"It seems that Starscream is deeply invested in listening to these logs. I wonder why."

Ratchet frowned. "Starscream isn't telling us something, isn't he?"

Optimus sighed. "Yes, he is obscuring something. I can only hope that he will reveal to us what he knows about the logs in due time."

"'In due time'?! Bulkhead's helm is rotting away, and you're worrying about preserving Starscream's health?"

Optimus frowned and nodded. "Yes. I worry deeply about how Bulkhead's mental death will affect Starscream and what the Seeker's reaction will be. The two of them have been becoming close lately," he sighed.

Ratchet grumbled and dragged his servos down his faceplate. "Yes. Far too close."

_"What's wrong with that?"_ Bumblebee trilled as he and Arcee came into the medbay. Their fields pulsed in grief at the sight of the schematic on the screen.

"Starscream has just acquired a new brother for himself... and he is now on the verge of _losing_ that brother," Optimus said as he looked and into the base. Somewhere, Starscream was hiding in those halls. He wouldn't be in his room—Optimus could tell that it felt too much like a cell to the Seeker—so where would he be?

No. He already knew the answer to that question. His spark pulsed in pity.

_"Ratchet, are you sure you can repair him?"_ Bumblebee beeped.

"I can fix Bulkhead, slag it! I couldn't fix your vocalizer, I probably won't be able to fix Starscream's spark damage, but by Primus—I can fix Bulkhead's processor!"

Bumblebee's vents hitched at the mention of his vocalizer. He held up his servos. _"No, no, don't think like that! Processors are complex and strange things, you can try to fix his—but please don't kick yourself if you fail! Wait a second…"_

Ratchet's optics widened. He should not have said that. He'd let private patient information slip away from him. "No. No. You heard nothing—!"

"'Spark damage'?" Arcee asked. "So wait, Starscream really does have actual spark damage?!"

_"Not the metaphorical kind? As in, real actual damage to his spark chamber?"_

"Well, he does definitely have _emotional _spark damage, but—Gah, you heard nothing! Hep hep, out of my medbay!" Ratchet shouted as he picked up a wrench. Bumblebee and Arcee glanced at each other before they left the medbay.

Ratchet leaned over his desk and sighed deeply as Optimus came up behind him.

"How do we tell Starscream?" Prime asked.

Ratchet glared at the schematic on the computer screen. "_Should_ we tell him?"

Optimus blinked. "Why would we not tell him, old friend?"

Ratchet scoffed and pointed at the screen. "We have a highly unstable Seeker on base who already nearly lost one of his brothers—imagine how he'll react when he finds out he's losing the other one! I'm sure I can cure Bulkhead's condition… I think. He can't be allowed to know what's going on. Not until I find a cure."

Optimus sighed. "I question the wisdom of this. But I do agree that Starscream's reaction to Bulkhead's deterioration will be… negative."

"Where is that blasted Seeker and Bulkhead, anyway? Did those two scuttle off again?"

Optimus frowned and walked off into the base. Bulkhead and Starscream were nowhere to be seen. He strained his audials and heard the sound of a voice echo through the concrete halls.

A light shone from a side room and laughter echoed out of it. _Familiar _laughter.

He walked up to the doorway and peered inside. Bulkhead sat seated on the floor with Starscream in front of him. He waved his servos around and his optics shone bright blue as he spoke a mile a minute.

_"Do you remember, Star?" _Bulkhead laughed. _"Do you remember the looks on their faceplates when those grounders saw that their top two students were fliers? Do you remember?"_

"Hah!" Starscream laughed as he fluttered his wing. "I'll never forget!"

"Starscream," Optimus said.

"Are you sure you don't wanna hear a Wrecker story?" Bulkhead asked. "Wrecker stories are the best stories. I had this one good pal—his name was Wheeljack—and wow, he had quite a few bolts loose, let me tell you! You wanna hear 'bout him?"

Starscream grimaced. "Eh…"

Bulkhead's faceplate fell. "Oh. You just want more Skyfire, is that it?"

"Ah, well…" Starscream wrung his servos together. "...Yes."

Bulkhead nodded and kept the hurt out of his field. "Sure, sure, I get it. Which log is next? Hmmm…"

"Starscream?" Optimus repeated. He stood in the doorway and waved Starscream over.

Starscream whined and took one last look at Bulkhead before he ran up to Prime. A deep sense of concern inundated Optimus's field and he squinted down at Starscream. "I worry for you."

Starscream blinked. "Uhh, don't you always?"

And wasn't that strange? That there was a bot out there, a _friend,_ who did not think or worry about what Starscream could offer them, but who instead worried about _him _as a person. Somebody who thought of him as something worth worrying over.

He looked back over his shoulder at Bulkhead.

Maybe he even had _two_ friends.

"I believe that you should spend more time with Bulkhead," Optimus asked. Grief pulsed in his field.

"I'm doing so right now!" Starscream scoffed.

"No, I mean…" Optimus let out a deep and heavy sigh. "Spend time with Bulkhead while he is _Bulkhead. _Not anybody else. He might not always be here."

Starscream frowned. "'He might not always be here?' What is that supposed to mean?"

Optimus opened his intake to respond, but then slowly turned around to look behind him. Ratchet stood out in the hall and stared at Optimus with a stern look on his faceplate. He shook his helm and then walked off back to the medbay.

"Whose logs are he reciting?" Optimus asked.

Starscream's armor locked up. "Um… just… they were made by somebody I knew. Nobody important." _Another brother. Somebody so, so, so important._

Optimus sighed yet again and placed a servo on Starscream's shoulder. "Please just appreciate Bulkhead at the moment."

Starscream nodded slowly. "Of course."

Optimus frowned and then walked off. He listened to the Prime's pedesteps vanish into the distance before he ran back over to Bulkhead. Bulkhead stared off into space and his jaw shook slightly as he muttered the logs over and over again.

"I am ready to hear Skyfire's next words!" Starscream said as he clapped his servos.

"Subspace… log… _my end is near_…" Bulkhead mumbled.

Starscream frowned. "Ugh, don't tune out on me again!"

_"And I worry that my end will bring about yours…"_

Starscream froze. "Well, that's morbid. Where did _that _come from?"

Bulkhead jolted and shook his helm. "Gah! What happened?!"

"Um, Prime came and you tuned out," Starscream sighed. Optimus's earlier words rang through his helm and he took a deep vent. "You're still here though, right? Right?" Starscream asked as he looked up at Bulkhead.

Bulkhead smiled and twitched. "O-of course, Star. Of course I'm still here! Why wouldn't I be? Um.. I need to ask you a favor." Bulkhead looked off to the side and wrung his servos together.

Starscream sighed impatiently. "Ugh, yes?"

"Star, be serious for a moment here! Now, y'know how war is… bots protect each other, but when they go offline, they can't really protect each other anymore…"

Starscream blinked. "Uh, I've been fighting in the same war as you for over a thousand years now, Bulkhead."

The Wrecker held his servos out placatingly. "Just stop the sass and _listen, _okay? Something might happen to me—"

Starscream's armor tightened up.

"—and if something does, then… then I need you to watch out for Miko for me."

Starscream stared. And stared.

And stared.

"Wrecker?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Is there something wrong with your processor—"

Bulkhead froze for a moment.

"—or are you just insane?" Starscream asked.

Bulkhead let out a nervous laugh. "Oh, er, so you _don't _know about my… processor situation… um, anyway, yes, I really am asking you to keep an optic out for my lil' Wrecker if something happens to me."

Starscream recoiled. "But… why?! Why me? Why not one of the other fleshie-lovers on base, like Bumblebee or Arcee—slag, even _Ratchet_ would make a better choice than me! Are you seriously asking me to become Miko's _guardian _in the event that you… that you…"

Bulkhead sighed. "Yeah. That's kinda what I'm asking ya."

Starscream sputtered. "But… why?! Is this some prank?"

"No prank. Just the truth. Skyfire downloaded more than just logs into that cylinder. He downloaded a few batches of _memories—-_and I saw _all_ of 'em."

All of them. The words echoed in Starscream's helm.

All. Of. Them.

"Starscream you were so… you were so _different _back then! You liked organics and lil' sparklings! Miko is both of those things!"

Starscream grit his dentae. "I do not wish to talk about the past, I want to talk about your harebrained plans for the future! Me? Protecting a human?!"

"Hey, you seem to like Raf just fine!"

"Because he's like a little fleshie Seeker! Miko is like a little fleshie… scraplet!" Starscream whined.

"Woah, she is not!" Bulkhead scoffed. His optics widened and he stared off into space. "Well… now that I kinda think about it…"

Starscream dragged his servos down his faceplate. "Don't ask me to protect anybody. Please. I can barely handle myself."

"You can protect her! I know you can! Besides, you two are a good match. You're crazy, and she's crazy too!"

Starscream moaned. "Oh, a match made in heaven."

"See, I knew you'd warm up to the idea!"

"I am warming up to the idea of fleeing from the base and never returning because _you_ don't seem to understand sarcasm."

Bulkhead sighed. "Please, Star, just… keep an optic out for her, okay? Don't let herself get crushed under some Con's pede. Please?"

Starscream opened his intake to deliver some retort, but the look on Bulkhead's faceplate made him freeze. For several moments the Wrecker and the Seeker just stared at each other.

Bulkhead's optics were so blue.

Just like Skyfire's had been.

And Starscream had never been able to say no to those bright blue optics.

He rolled his red optics and fell back onto the floor with a clang. "Fine…" he moaned.

Bulkhead smiled as his optics began to twitch again. "Thank you. Now for the next Skyfire log. Subspace Log 78: _You need to learn to let go sooner or later, Starscream…"_

* * *

Starscream fell into recharge. His helm was propped up by his servo and his engine hummed quietly as he slept away. Bulkhead stared at the Seeker for a moment before he slowly rose to his pedes and tip-toed out of the side room.

Bulkhead slipped away from Starscream and wandered off into the base. Every strut in his frame told him to run back to Starscream, to hold him tight and tell him every last word of every single log.

But he couldn't do that. He had a log of his own to record.

He crept past the medbay and snuck into the empty main room before he transformed and drove out of the base. A cold blast of dusty desert air hit his frame and he drove deeper into the desert until the Autobot base was a black monolith against the night sky. The faint echoes of the distant highway drifted through the air as he drove up to a high cliff with a view of the road below. Cars and trucks drove down the two long lanes in a glittering procession of yellow and red lights. He transformed and swung his legs over the edge of the cliff as he watched the road down below. If he offlined his optics, he could pretend it was the whir of Iacon's highways he was listening to.

Bulkhead looked at the thousands of stars above. He blinked and the constellations shifted and changed in front of his optics. The stars rearranged themselves and for a split second, he saw the night sky as it appeared on Cybertron. He blinked again and the silhouettes of the soaring spires of Vos flashed across his vision.

"Slag," he swore as he rubbed his optics. Not only was the dead mech's voice ringing around in his helm, but so were his last memories. Skyfire had inserted not only his voice into the data cylinder, but all of his visual memories too—every planet he visited with Starscream, every fantastic sight, every horrible sight, every single smile Starscream made—it was all there in his helm. And soon there'd be nothing else left.

"I wonder which star is Cybertron…" he muttered to himself. It didn't matter. He'd soon forget much of Cybertron even existed. He wouldn't remember his days as a construction worker in Iacon, he'd only remember being a scientist in the Iaconian Academy. He wouldn't remember meeting Optimus for the first time, he'd only remember meeting the wrath of Sentinel Prime. He wouldn't remember any of his Wrecker bros—just Starcream.

He activated his microphone and reset his vocalizer. Slag, Skyfire had made it seem so easy. Skyfire had made many things seem easy... but Bulkhead could tell that he had struggled to keep Star safe in his final days. Being the bot to keep everybody grounded wasn't easy—but somebody had to be that bot. Skyfire knew that well.

Bulkhead reset his vocalizer again and began to speak. "Hey Star, this isn't one of your old buddy's logs, this is one of your _new _buddy's logs. I—_I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here—"_

He swore and punched the ground. It was time for _his _logs and it was time for _his _words to be recited aloud, not Skyfire's. It was getting harder and harder to tell which words were truly his and which were the shuttle's.

"Anyway, Scree, I worry about ya. You're cold and mean to everybody you don't like, but when you _do _like somebody… you kinda get too attached. So when your friends fall, you fall with 'em. So when my processor is all gone, don't spill your bolts, 'kay? _My end is near. _I don't think my processor will last much longer. _I can feel it. _You've still got Prime to stick by ya and 'Bee, and even Ratch! He doesn't really show his concern for you that much, but he does care. _And I worry, _y'know? So don't go coo-coo for coco puffs and go running back to Megs cause it's the only thing ya know. Cause Megs knows you, but I've gotten to know you even better, and I know you're _not _worthless—slag it, you're too good for Buckethead, okay? You gotta wake up n' see that. So don't let _my end… _make you go crazy, okay? 'Cause Optimus has helped mechs before, and he'll keep on helping you, and I know that his awakening _will bring about yours..."_

He opened his intake to say more, but then his vision swam and sparked with static. Vos's towers reared up into the sky and stretched far off into the distance. He blinked. He swore he was in a desert on some organic planet somewhere… except no, maybe not. He was a scientist at the Iaconian Academy and he was… yes, he was trying to talk to his friend Starscream. Starscream. Everything else was blurry and confusing, but Starscream was there in the base, sharp and crystal clear. Except for some reason, Star seemed sadder—well, sadder than usual at least. He'd fix that. Shuttles and Seekers had to stick together in such an anti-flyer city.

He reset his vocalizer and spoke to Starscream.

_"Oh, Starscream, I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here. My end is near. I can feel it. And I worry that my end will bring about yours… yours… yours… Oh, Starscream."_

Skyfire continued to recite the logs deep into the night.

* * *

_"There's a whole world down there for us to explore," Skyfire said._

_Starscream flew up into the deep black night sky and watched a thousand stars shine up far above. He transformed out of his alt-mode and spread his arms and wings out wide as if to embrace the sky. Skyfire flew past the stars above him. His massive silhouette blocked out the bright starlight and cast a deep shadow onto Starscream's frame, but he wasn't scared. Skyfire would never hurt him. _

_"I'm still upset!" Starscream whined as he transformed back into his alt-mode. He flew up to Skyfire and the two of them flew in and out of the deep cloud layer over and over again._

_"We'll find a place to hide the cylinder, I promise!" Skyfire said. He flew below the cloud layer and his massive frame completely vanished into the rolling clouds. That was fine. Starscream knew he'd always be able to find Skyfire again._

_"I wish we could just destroy the stupid thing," Starscream grumbled as he flew in lazy circles throuh the sky._

_Skyfire reemerged from the cloud layer and flew back up into sight. "It's got the synthetic energon formula on it, Star!"_

_"Yeah, yeah, but still! It just doesn't seem worth it."_

_Skyfire dipped back into the cloud and his frame vanished amongst the fog again. "It will all be worth it. We'll come back for the formula when Cybertron settles down, you'll see."_

_"Maybe one day, Sky. Maybe one day."_

_He watched Skyfire's frame dip back into the clouds. As he waited for Skyfire to reemerge, he just hovered there and looked out into the stars. Starscream hummed and wondered which constellation Cybertron was in. _

_A new purple star appeared in the sky and began to shine brighter and brighter. It was the strangest comet Starscream had ever seen. A sense of unease began to work its way through his struts and he flew down and into the cloud layer Skyfire had vanished into._

_He sent a ping out across their comms and received—nothing._

_Starscream flew out of the cloud and hovered above the vast rolling mountains and valleys below. A stream wound its way through the valley and reflected the bright purple glow of the strange new star in the sky. Skyfire was completely gone. Fear pierced Starscream's spark. Skyfire didn't get lost in the cloud, did he? He didn't know what he'd do if he lost the shuttle. Something terrible, probably._

_Skyfire flew out of nowhere and transformed back into his root-mode. Starscream laughed and transformed as he wrapped his arms around the shuttle. Skyfire was just messing with him, right?_

_Cold fear washed through Skyfire's field. All of the mirth within Starscream evaporated and he looked up at Skyfire._

_"Don't panic," Skyfire said. For a split second the two of them just floated suspended in the air. Starscream looked up into Skyfire's optics and he thought he'd see the same usual warm and kind look Skyfire always had on his faceplate—but instead, all Starscream saw was raw panic._

_Gravity pulled them down again and they plummeted into the cloud layer. Skyfire transformed around Starscream as something purple ripped through the sky above their helms._

_"Sky, what was that?!" Starscream shrieked. He ran up to the windows of Skyfire's cargo bay, but the shutters on them drew shut. The last thing Starscream saw through the window was a sharp violet silhouette sitting amongst the stars. The shutters shut and left Starscream in darkness._

_"Nothing," Skyfire said. There was a hitch in his voice._

_Starscream growled. "Nothing?! Nothing? I know what's out there, Sky!"_

_A shockwave ripped through the air and rattled Skyfire's entire frame. Starscream fell to his knees as Skyfire lurched and flew off in another direction._

_"Skyfire," Starscream whimpered as a sense of cold dread descended upon his frame. "Are we being chased?"_

_Skyfire's field shook with grief. "Star—"_

_Something slammed into Skyfire's side and forced him to revert to his alt-mode. Starscream looked up and saw something dark and violet sharply cut across the stars before blazing towards them. Skyfire's arms closed around the Seeker and his massive wings blocked Starscream's line of sight._

_Skyfire hit the ground in a roll with Starscream tucked tightly into his arms. They tumbled down a cliff and down into a thick cluster of trees to a stream below. Something whizzed through the air above their helms and cut across the canopies of the trees. Tree branches fell down and scattered all over Skyfire's frame._

_Starscream laid in the running water of the stream and stared up at Skyfire. The shuttle leaned over him with his wings spread out wide to protect Starscream below. A thin line of energon trickled down from Skyfire's neck. Starscream let out a high-pitched keen._

_"Oh, Star," Skyfire said as he blinked down at him. "You're okay."_

_"Are _you _okay?! They just shot you! Come here, come here—" Starscream shook as he sat up. He gently held Skyfire's bloodied helm in his servos and whimpered at Skyfire's energon as it flowed over his talons. A familiar tight feeling wound itself around his spark. The Council had done this, for who else could it be? They had come in, blasters blazing, and they hurt Sky, they _hurt _him—_

_"We've got a whole beautiful world to explore," Skyfire breathed out shakily as he drew Starscream into a hug. Starscream squirmed against his interstellar-grade armor and leaned back to look at Skyfire with wide optics._

_"What?! You just got shot out of the sky and you just wanna enthuse about how pretty this b-backwater world is?"_

_Skykfire nodded and dug his helm into the crook of Starscream's neck. "Yes. I do."_

_"Wha—why?! ! Don't you wanna panic or something?! I'm panicking!"_

_"I don't… I don't want our last moments together to be sad."_

_The air shook and rumbled. Starscream wiped away the energon from Skyfire's neck cabling and whimpered when more trickled out. "First of all, this is not our last moment together! And second of all… Sky, it's _already _sad."_

_"I know," Skyfire whispered. "We're going to have to run. I don't know if they'll shoot me again, I'm a bigger target—"_

_"Stop talking like that! Stop talking like that!" Starscream snarled as he lightly beat his clenched fists against Skyfire's armor. Something landed on the ground not far from them and made the entire forest shake._

_"—but if they do shoot me again, and I go down, I want you to remember what I said. What did I say earlier, Starscream?"_

_"You…" Starscream began. The trees shook and more branches fell from the canopy as something heavy stomped towards the two of them. The ground began to shake and the water of the stream began to ripple and shudder as their enemy stomped closer and closer._

_"You're not going to die," Starscream said. Even he could hear the doubt in his own voice. "I'Il protect you, I will! We can fly off into the sky and—"_

_A blaster bolt shot into a nearby tree and made it explode. "Listen Star, we can't go into the sky, that's where they know we'll go."_

_"What?!" Starscream shrieked. "So what, we need to hide in the woods like rats?"_

_"That's all that we are to them, Starscream," Skyfire said as he pulled Starscream to his pedes. "Rats. Nothing more. But we are something _more _than that—don't let anybody tell you otherwise, okay?"_

_Skyfire shared one last look at him before a blaster bolt in the stream exploded behind him. A wave of water crashed over their frames and Skyfire yanked Starscream forward through the stream as more blaster bolts slammed into the water behind them._

_"Faster, Starscream, faster!" Skyfire shouted._

_"I'm trying!" Starscream shouted. His frame was built for navigating the violent currents of Vos's dizzying spires, not for running through thick organic muck and foliage. Another tree exploded behind them as the Council's drones drew closer._

_"I can't keep this up much longer," Skyfire wheezed as a bolt nearly shot him in the wing._

_"No, no, slag it, hold on!"_

_The two of them ran through the stream at full speed as the drones fired volleys of blaster bolts into the water behind them. A massive cloud of steam hissed up into the air and completely obscured Starscream's vision. Skyfire's silhouette vanished into a cloud of steam and the last thing Starscream saw were his two blue optics shining in the gloom._

_He reached out for Skyfire's servo and fell forward into the open air. A red light shone from over his shoulder and he whirled around to come faceplate-to-faceplate with a Council drone. It stood over him and its red visor shone a beam of red light out into the cloud of mist._

_Starscream clenched his talons and felt something hot and vindictive rise up within him. He rose to his pedes and looked right down the barrel of the blaster pointed at his chestplate. He just had to be fast, he just needed to leap forward and slash out with his talons and spill this harlaton's energon and then—_

_"Starscream!" Skyfire called. His voice echoed through the rolling mist before it vanished._

_He rapidly glanced back and forth between the drone and the trees in which he'd heard Skyfire's voice. He could go to Skyfire, or he could rid them both of this threat for once and for all._

_Starscream froze. He made a promise to Skyfire. He _promised _he wouldn't kill anymore_. _There would be no spilt energon there in that stream—he'd spare the drone, just for Skyfire's sake. For Skyfire. For Skyfire._

_He ran out of the cloud of mist and narrowly dodged a blaster bolt that sizzled past his leg. A large waterfall stood before him, but there was no sign of Skyfire. Starscream stared into his own dirtied and frightened reflection in the curtain of falling water. The drone stomped towards him and the image of its sharp violet reflection shone in the water right beside Starscream's._

_"No, no, please don't—"_

_A servo shot out and grabbed ahold of Starscream's wing. He yelped as he was pulled into the waterfall and the last thing he saw before the water overwhelmed his vision was the sight of the drone reaching its spindly claws towards him._

_"Oh, Starscream, oh starscream! Just let me hold you. Just… just hold on," Skyfire gasped. _

_He pulled Starscream up to his pedes and tightly clutched his soaking wet frame to his drenched armor. The two of them held each other behind the waterfall and hid there amongst the roar of the water and the hissing spray. _

_Skyfire choked back a sob. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I failed you—"_

_"No! No! You didn't fail me! Not at all, Sky, not at all. Let's… let's fly, Skyfire. I'm tired of hiding," Starscream moaned. The water from above fell down onto their frames and made the spilt energon on Skyfire's neck sluice down and fall between their pedes._

_"There's a storm coming. I'm not good at maneuvering. I can't handle bad weather, Star. I could crash one of these days!"_

_"No. I won't let you!" He couldn't control who got to keep the synthetic energon formula, then he couldn't control their awful mission gone wrong. Starscream was rapidly losing control of the situation and he hated that. He gripped Skyfire's drenched servo and promised himself he would prevent the drones from getting to the shuttle. He didn't know what he would do without Skyfire._

_"Oh, Starscream." Skyfire smiled sadly. "You can't control everything."_

_"Just… just let me hold you." Skyfire tightly held onto Starscream as the shadows of the drones passed over their frames. "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold you."_

_The drones lurked outside the waterfall and they could both see the drone's silhouettes through the curtain of water. _

_Starscream's wings fluttered. "Don't talk like that!" he snapped. _

_"I might have to face them," Skyfire said grimly. He looked at the waterfall and his field briefly flared with fear._

_"No," Starscream ground out. "You won't, I'll be there with you!"_

_"You're too small, Star!"_

_"I'm not small. I can protect you!" Starscream snapped._

_"Oh, Starscream," Skyfire laughed. "You can't protect me from everything."_

_"I can, and I will!" Starscream said as he flared his wings._

_The ground shook and thudded as another drone landed. The shockwave from its impact made Starscream fall over onto the ground. Skyfire's servos shot out and caught him just in time._

_He stopped Starscream from falling into the rushing waters below. Starscream just hung there, held up only by Skyfire's servo. He gently pulled Starscream's frame back to him as fear pulsed through his field._

_"What? What is it?" Starscream asked._

_A violet shape shone behind the curtain of water. The bright red glow of the drone's visor glowed through the waterfall and moved from left to right as it looked for Skyfire and Starscream. The two of them held still and watched the violet shape just stand there outside the waterfall, only feet away from their shaking frames._

_The drone turned around, took one last look towards the waterfall—_

_And then walked away. The ground shook and thud as more drones fell down onto the ground and began to search the forest outside. The sharp clicks and whirls of their Iaconian drifted through the roar of the waterfall and pierced Starscream's audials._

_"Go to sleep, Star," Skyfire said._

_"I can't, not when they're out there waiting for us."_

_"They don't know where we are! We just need to lay low and hide—"_

_"Like _rats. _We're worthless to them, worthless!"_

_Skyfire leaned back and looked Starscream in the optic. "You're not worthless. Not to me."_

_Starscream just stared at him with a slack jaw._

_"Go to sleep, Star," Skyfire said as he stared out into the falling water. The violet shapes of the drones outside continued to shine through the waterfall. He watched the blood-red glow of their visors flicker and pulse._

_He felt pure exhaustion in his entire frame, from his crest and all the way down to his pedes. But Starscream couldn't allow himself to recharge, he couldn't, he couldn't. Skyfire rubbed his servos in warm circular motions on Starscream's back._

_Skyfire rumbled his engine and listened to Starscream's systems as they whirred down into recharge. The Seeker's optics dimmed and his helm fell against Skyfire's chestplate. He looked down and saw that Starscream's bright blue optics were shut._

_He smiled and quietly turned on his microphone. "Subspace Log 52… I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here. My end is near. I can feel it. And I worry that my end will bring about yours…"_

* * *

_"Maybe one day the discrimination will end… maybe. We're paving the way forward, Starscream! It may not seem like that at times, but believe me—by just attending the academy, we're making progress!" _Bulkhead mumbled. He recited the log while he stared deeply into space in the middle of a corridor.

Starscream leaned against the wall beside him and rested his helm against the concrete wall. He offlined his optics and listened to Bulkhead drone on and on. If he vividly pictured the view from his and Skyfire's dorm, then he could almost pretend he was back on Iacon with the shuttle.

Almost.

_"I worry about you, y'know. More than I let on,"_ Bulkhead said. He turned and looked at Starscream with the exact same compassionate look on his faceplate that Skyfire had had whenever he was concerned for him.

Starscream's wing flared in surprise. "More than you let on?" he mumbled. His optics widened and he buried his faceplate in his servos. "Oh, Primus, what is wrong with me? You're not Skyfire, you're Bulkhead—why do I keep forgetting that?!"

Tiny pedesteps shuffled around the corner. Starscream sighed and rolled his optics.

"Do all humans eavesdrop this much?"

Miko came around the corner and crossed her arms. "No! Only I do!"

Starscream sighed and stepped in front of Bulkhead as the Wrecker continued to mutter on. He wasn't sure why, but the sight of Miko made his spark freeze for just a split moment. If Bulkhead saw the human, he could get distracted by her, and if he got distracted then that meant he would no longer recite the logs—and _that _meant that Starscream would never hear Skyfire's final words. He grit his dentae and glared down at the tiny human. So small, yet so potentially destructive. A hot burst of shame rose up within him. He was scared—of a _human, _of all things.

Bulkhead looked at him. His frame shook and his field sent out smooth and calm waves—the exact same kind of waves that Skyfire had sent to Starscream whenever he got stressed out. Bulkhead shakily reached out a servo to place on Starscream's shoulder, but Starscream flinched out of the way. Bulkhead's optics widened and he took a step back. Miko's jaw dropped.

Starscream rubbed his servos down his faceplate. "And what is oh-so enthralling about listening to your guardian read out old logs?"

"You don't really care for Bulkhead, you just wanna use him!" Miko shouted.

"Oh, we're fighting about _this_? I want nothing to do with your attitude!" Starscream scoffed.

"I want nothing to do with _your_ attitude! Drop the shtick and spill the beans—we both know what you're really up to!"

"Ooh, really?" Starscream hummed as he leaned down onto a single knee and looked Miko in the eye.

"You're fooling Bulk into thinking that he's your brother!"

He scoffed and turned away. Bulkhead began to shake harder and began to anxiously wring his servos together as he stared at the two of them."I don't want to deal with this," Starscream said.

Starscream got up and grabbed ahold of the shaky Wrecker's servo as he stomped down the hallway. Miko slammed her foot against the ground and shouted at him.

"You're walkin' away 'cause you know it's true!"

Starscream grit his dentae and walked down the hall even faster with Bulkhead in tow.

Bulkhead stroked his wing as they walked along. _"I'll never leave you, never forget that, okay? The Council will try to tear us apart—"_

"Get away from Bulk!" Miko shrieked.

_"They will try to tear us apart, yes they will—"_

"You're just using him! You don't _deserve_ him!"

_"So many bots will say that we don't belong, they will try to separate us—"_

Starscream arrived at an intersection in the corridor. He froze in the middle of the hall and held his throbbing helm in his servos as Bulkhead's and Miko's voices rang together and echoed around and around in the hall.

"Quiet," Starscream hissed. It was too much noise, too much _emotion,_ too much anger from the human and too much grief from Bulkhead—

Miko ran up to his pede and banged it on with her little fists. "I'm talkin' to you, so don't you walk away! He's my big brother, not yours!"

_"I worry that my end will bring about yours…"_

"Be quiet!" Starscream grumbled under his breath. His helm began to throb even harder and his spark began to pulse even more and—

"Shut up!" he shouted.

_"Together, forever, oh Starscream, oh Starscream…"_

"You're pretending to be his brother!" Miko shrieked.

Starscream slammed his fist against the wall and sharply turned around. He dropped to his knees and loomed over Miko below him as he hissed down at her.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm _not _pretending?!"

Miko looked up at him with wide eyes. "...What?"

Starscream froze. What had he just said? He shouldn't have said that, no, not at all. He couldn't afford to spill his thoughts out again like that, he couldn't afford to be so _weak—_

"I—I—you heard nothing."

"No, wait, _what? _Screamer, what are you talking about?"

Starscream sighed and looked up at Bulkhead, but Bulkhead didn't look back at him. Bulkhead stared into the darkness of the halls and continued to mutter on.

Miko stared at him expectantly. Starscream rolled his optics and his entire frame drooped. The human would never stop pestering him, ever. All he had to do was toy with the fleshy for a little while and then hopefully she would back off and leave him alone. He wished for a moment that Raf was there.

"What do I have to gain by pretending to be his friend?" he snapped.

His bright red optics cast a red glow all over the hall. Miko stepped back and glared up at him.

"What. Do I. Have to gain?" Starscream grit out. They didn't have _time_ for this, especially Bulkhead—

"You… you're getting all buddy-buddy with him so you can stab him in the back!"

Starscream recoiled. "Stab him in the back? Why would I do that?! Why?"

"Because… because you're _you!_"

"You know _nothing _about me. Absolutely nothing!"

"I know that you got Skyfire killed!"

Bulkhead stopped muttering and went silent.

Starscream's optics widened. "How...how?"

"You talk in your sleep about him," Miko said quietly.

"Oh,_ Primus_. Listen, you didn't hear _anything!_"

"But I did hear you—I heard every. Single. Word!" Miko shouted.

"What did I even say?"

"You said that Skyfire came to an end 'cause you failed to save him."

Bulkhead tipped his forehelm forward and pressed it up against the side of Starscream's scarred helm. He began to stroke Starscream's back. _"My end will bring about yours, my end will bring about yours—"_

"Quiet, you!" Starscream snapped.

"Oh!" Miko snorted. "All you wanted was to listen to his logs day in and day out, and now you want him to shut up?!"

"I want _you _to shut up!"

"'Cause I'm speaking the truth?"

"Yes?! Okay, _yes! _You're right! Are you happy, little human? You got the biggest liar around to stop _lying _to himself and tell the truth! Happy?"

Starscream breathed heavily.

Miko stared at him.

Bulkhead stopped stroking Starscream.

Nobody said anything and the only noise came from the gasps of Starscream's vents.

Starscream bit his lip and began to shake. The overwhelming urge to leap to his pedes and just _run _suddenly overtook him. But he couldn't move—Miko stared at him with wide and shocked eyes and he found himself unable to look away from the little human.

"...Would… would you go into the blizzard for him?" Miko asked quietly. Her voice was softer than he had ever heard before.

Starscream sighed. "What are you even talking about—?"

"Would you?! If Bulk got caught in a blizzard the same way your buddy did, would you go after him?"

_"I worry for you so much. Hopefully these logs will guide you back to reason," _Bulkhead whispered as he began to stroke Starscream's back again._ "Someone has to. I'll go into the storm to protect you because I know that nobody else will."_

Starscream bit his glossa and felt energon well up in his intake. "I…"

_"Don't worry for my sake, okay?" _Bulkhead said softly as he stroked Starscream's helm.

"Um, is that Bulk speaking or your deady buddy?" Miko asked.

Starscream took a shaky vent. "I...I don't know anymore."

Bulkhead stared at the wall. His optics flickered on and off and he quietly mumbled as he continued to recite the logs.

"Subspace Log number… 14…. Subspace log number….35… 36...37—"

"Stop," Starscream snapped. He whirled around to look at Bulkhead, but the Wrecker continued to ignore him.

_"Subspace… log... " _

"Shut up! Stop that, okay, stop it!" Starscream shouted.

Bulkhead's helm shot up and he looked Starscream right in the optic. _"Subspace Log 98…"_

Starscream blinked. He hadn't heard that log before.

_"...Star, I just wanna say that I'm so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry…"_

"What?" Starscream scoffed. Heavy pedesteps resounded behind him and a warm field fell over his own—but he noticed none of that. The only thing he could focus on in that moment were the strange words coming out of Bulkhead's intake.

_"I am sorry… so so so sorry…"_

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for, do you understand? Do you?" Starscream said. This was way too much way too fast. He needed to escape, he needed to flee these claustrophobic halls and the surprised human and Bulkhead's grief, and _Primus_, there was so much _grief_ in the Wrecker's field—

He stomped away. He turned around and briskly walked down the hallway as he tried to desperately ignore the stares he felt on his back.

The Autobots looked up as Starscream stomped into the main room in a daze.

_"Oh, Starscreammm…"_ Bulkhead laughed. The bright glow of his two blue optics shone in the gloom of the hall and grew bright and brighter as Bulkhead stumbled after him.

"No, no, I have had quite enough of you for now!" Starscream shouted at Bulkhead. Bulkhead ignored him and continued to walk towards Starscream with his servos outstretched.

Starscream backed up and away from Bulkhead. His back ran into something hard and solid and he shrieked and turned around, ready to fight off whatever he'd run into.

Optimus stood right in front of him and watched him with wide optics. He grabbed ahold of the Seeker's servo and gently guided him to a corner of the main room.

"What is wrong?"

Starscream shook his helm and sputtered. Bulkhead walked into the main room and scanned it for Starscream.

"Him!" Starscream shrieked as he pointed his talon right at Bulkhead. Optimus frowned and moved to block his view of the Wrecker.

"Is Bulkhead's situation growing to be too stressful? Do you want to talk about it?" Optimus asked.

Starscream refused to make optic contact with the Prime. "No. I really don't."

"I know that he was a dear friend to you—"

"What?" Starscream interrupted. "You talk about Bulkhead as if he's dead or something!"

Optimus shook his helm. "I apologize. I meant to say that I know _Skyfire _was a dear friend to you. And had I known that those were his logs and that you had such a deep friendship and—"

Starscream froze.

"—brotherhood, I would've—"

"Oh," Starscream scoffed. "You would've _what_?"

Optimus was silent for a moment. "I would've helped you."

"Helped me with _what?_"

_"Subspace log 47…. Oh, Starscream…"_ Bulkhead muttered as he stumbled through the room in circles.

"I would've helped you move on from Skyfire's death, Starscream," Optimus said.

_"Oh, my dear Star…"_

Starscream grit his dentae. "I already have!"

"No," Optimus shook his helm. "You have not."

The rest of the Autobots watched Starscream stare down Optimus with wide optics.

"Starscream," Optimus began to say as he knelt down. "I know that this is difficult—"

"No, we're not doing this! Not here! Not now! This isn't the time for some big emotional chat, okay?"

"And why not?" Optimus said calmly as he continued to stare at Starscream with his blue optics, his blue blue optics, blue like Skyfire's—

"Because… I'm just not ready."

"Nobody is ever ready to face the truth."

"How did you find out about Skyfire?"

Optimus sighed heavily and looked at Starscream. Frustration blared up in Starscream's field and he groaned.

"I mentioned Skyfire aloud in my recharge, didn't I?"

Optimus reached his servo out to put it upon Starscream's shoulder, but Starscream flinched and stepped back. Optimus's servo froze mid-air and a twinge of hurt entered his field.

Starscream's wings drooped. He'd made Optimus feel bad for just a split moment, this bot was just trying to help him, and he'd gone and hurt his feelings, oh _Primus._

"No, don't… don't look at me like that!" he scoffed.

"Like what, Starscream?"

_"I worry that my end… my end… my end…"_ Bulkhead rambled on. His voice grew in volume and he stood up and reached his servo out, almost as if he was placing it upon an imaginary shoulder. He stared into the air with a look of pure compassion on his faceplates.

"Like that, Starscream?" Optimus said as he looked back and forth between Bulkhead and Starscream.

Bulkhead was so caught up in the memory he'd lost all awareness of his surroundings. He lovingly looked into the air at whichever imaginary bot he was envisioning in his helm.

"He is reciting the memories of Skyfire, yes?" Optimus said.

Starscream nodded and stared warily at Bulkhead. "Wrecker, what in the slag are you staring at?"

Optimus sighed deeply. "And much of these memories involve _you, _is that correct?"

Starscream nodded and stepped in front of Bulkhead. He waved his servos around in front of the Wrecker's face, but he continued to lovingly stare into the open air.

"What are you trying to imply, Prime?" Starscream scoffed as he tried to ignore the growing sense of dread in his tanks.

"Starscream…" Optimus began as he stepped up and stood beside the Seeker. The two of them watched Bulkhead stare deeply into space as he gently stroked the invisible shoulder of the mech in the memory he was reliving.

"He's looking at _you, _Starscream."

"What?" Starscream yelped. "No, there's no way he's pretending to be Skyfire and pretending to comfort me!"

_"Subspace log 47… subspace log 47…. _Starrscreammmm_…"_ Bulkhead moaned. _"Go to sleep, Star," _he said.

Starscream's jaw dropped. "No. No. There's no way the logs could be infusing his memory _that _much, right?"

Optimus opened his intake to respond, but then Ratchet grunted. He looked hard into Optimus's optics and for a moment the two mechs just stared at each other. After several moments Optimus sighed and looked back at Starscream.

"We… are still looking into that."

"But he'll be fine, right?" Starscream said. He wasn't sure why, but the uncertainty in the Prime's voice made his spark pulse in his chestplate.

"Well…"

_"Go to sleep, Star," _Bulkhead muttered again.

"He's not feeling well," Starscream snapped. "He clearly just needs to go out and… wreck… something… or whatever it is that you grounders do to calm down!"

Ratchet stepped forward. "Going on a mission could possibly jog his memory."

Optimus sighed and looked back and forth between Bulkhead and Starscream. "Yes, perhaps going on a mission and doing a familiar energon run could help him slip out of this trance."

"Yes, please, just make him stop!" Starscream whined.

Arcee scoffed. "I thought you wanted to listen to the logs."

Starscream's wing fluttered. "I do, I just…" he bit his lip and trailed off. He'd spent years wondering what Skyfire didn't say to him, and now he had the perfect opportunity. But there was something strange about the way Bulkhead stared into space with his cold and unfeeling stare that made Starscream's struts lock up. A part of him wanted to just hold Bulkhead close and listen to him speak with Skyfire's voice for hours. If he slipped out of this trance, if he stopped reciting the logs—then Starscream would stop being able to pretend Skyfire was beside him again.

_"Should Starscream go on the mission, though? I mean, after what happened last time…" _Bumblebee whirred.

But if Bulkhead continued to recite the logs, Starscream would accidentally mistaken him for the dead shuttle more and more and more. His sense of reality was already shattered, he couldn't possibly allow him to mistake dead mechs for living ones.

Optimus nodded. "We cannot allow you to fall prey to a hologram again."

Starscream grimaced. "I won't fall for a hologram again!"

"I saw you reach for his servo," Optimus said softly. All of the Autobots turned and looked at Starscream—even Bulkhead.

"I… I didn't… Who are you talking about?"

"Bulkhead shared with us the images he took of your encounter with the hologram. For a single moment, you thought the hologram to be real and…"

Realization dawned in Starscream's field. "I reached for him," he whispered shakily.

_"Hey Star, it's okay to be scared!" _Bumblebee beeped.

"Wha—I am not scared!"

_"If you don't think you can handle the image of your dead buddy again, then you don't _have_ to go with us."_

"Well, I...I…"

_"Is that why you wanna go with Bulkhead? Because you feel like he's Skyfire, and by leaving Bulkhead behind you're leaving Skyfire behind again."_

"Shut up!" Starscream hissed. "I refuse to listen to these ridiculous allegations! For that alone, I am going to stay here at base, just to prove to you that I am _not _delusional and that I do _not _think that Skyfire is Bulkhead—er, Bulkhead is Skyfire. I just… want to avoid that pesky flying rat and her holoforms. That's all. I can't go out there, I can't, not when they're out there waiting for us."

Bulkhead's helm shot up and his optics flared. That final sentence Starscream just said—

_"I can't, not when they're out there waiting for us—"_

That wasn't the first time Starscream had said that. He'd said that sentence so long ago, back when Bulkhead—or was it Skyfire? He couldn't tell the difference anymore—were hiding behind that waterfall, yes, the waterfall, and it was wet and cold and bloody and Starscream was so _scared, _his little Seeker was scared, and there Enforcers prowling around outside and Starscream's nightmares were prowling around in his helm and—he'd protected Starscream.

Bulkhead stared right at Starscream. His optic twitched.

He'd _protected _Starscream.

And now it was time to do so again.

Starscream wanted to leave his side, wanted to stay here in this base _away_ from him, and he could _not _protect Starscream if he was not by his side, and—

Bulkhead's servo shot out and he grabbed ahold of Starscream's talon. He gently but firmly pulled the Seeker close to him until they were faceplate-to-faceplate. Bulkhead's blue and entranced optics stared into Starscream's frightened red ones.

"Stay. Come with us."

Starscream blinked. "Is… is that Skyfire speaking, or you?"

His grip on the Seeker's talon tightened. Why did Starscream just not understand? The Enforcers—or was it the Decepticons?—were a threat, a dangerous threat, and he needed to be _protected, _slag it!

"Both," Bulkhead said. He pulled Starscream even closer until their frames were pressed together.

"Um," Starscream whimpered. "Please let me go."

"Come with us," Bulkhead repeated.

Optimus and Bumblebee tried to pull Starscream away from Bulkhead's grip, but the Wrecker's grip on the Seeker only tightened. The metal of Starscream's arm warped slightly under the sheer pressure of Bulkhead's grip.

"Come… with us," he repeated. His optics flickered and twitched.

"Do something, Autobots! Get your Wrecker under control!" Starscream yelped.

Bulkhead dragged Starscream to the groundbridge and fumbled the lever with a shaky servo. He held Starscream to him so closely that Starscream could feel Bulkhead's cold and chilly vents wash over his frame. Bulkhead was hardly venting at all—just like a dead mech.

Optimus grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's shoulders and began to pull him back and the sound of the deep thrum of an engine vibrated through the air. Bulkhead's helm whipped around and he looked at Optimus with cold and bright optics.

Optimus raised his servos and backed off.

"Wha—he's going to kill me!" Starscream yelped.

"No," Optimus began as he watched Bulkhead with wide optics. "He is going to protect you. Separating you two could anger him and somebody could get hurt if he gets angry. It would be best if you came with us on the mission."

"Come with us," Bulkhead said. Starscream wasn't sure, but for a single moment he swore he heard the rich timbor of Skyfire's voice hidden in the syllables of Bulkhead's words.

Ratchet looked between the two of them and sighed deeply. He activated the groundbridge and Starscream felt pure panic leap into his throat.

"No, wait—"

Bulkhead grabbed onto Starscream's arm and dragged him through the bridge.

The air shifted and a cold blast of air washed over their frames. Starscream stumbled out into a river and fell to his knees in the cold water. Bulkhead pulled him back to his pedes and tromped on through the rocky rushing river.

"Oh, you imbecile!" Starscream shrieked as Bulkhead yanked him along through the water.

_"They don't know we're were! We just need to lay low and hide," _Bulkhead mumbled. Another cold blast of wind came out of the red sky and made the entire forest shake and shudder around them.

The rest of the Autobots emerged from the bridge and watched the two of them stumble through the river.

"Starscream, try to pull him out of his memory!" Optimus shouted.

"Bulkhead, you slagger!" Starscream yelped as he fell to his knees in the river again.

Bulkhead stared into the red sky with wide optics and pointed his servo at a cluster of stars that was beginning to appear in the gloom. "C-Cybertron…"

"For the love of Primus, please see reason—I've had to deal with Megatron's insanity for years now, and I don't want to have to deal with yours! Surely you remember the times we had together, right?" Starscream said as he tried to pry his servo away from Bulkhead's grip.

The air grew colder and the sky grew darker as the sun set. "Yes," Bulkhead said slowly. "Back in the labs of Iacon…"

"What? No, we didn't know each other on Iacon!"

"Back in the skies of Vos…"

"You never… you never visited Vos."

"I did. With you. You showed me your home and you showed me why your family exiled you from it."

Starscream's jaw dropped. "How… how do you… how many of his memories do you have in your helm?"

Bulkhead titled his helm back and offlined his optics. _"My end is near."_

The rest of the Autobots walked along through the river and watched Bulkhead and Starscream fight up ahead.

"Don't say that!" Starscream whined. "Stop being so creepy and ominous, okay?"

"My end…. Is near. It is near."

Starscream stood up on the tips of his pedes and pulled Bulkhead's faceplate down until they were faceplate-to-faceplate. "No, it's _not!_"

Bulkhead's optics widened and he stared at something behind Starscream. "Near… something is… near… my end will bring about yours… your end… near…. Something is near…."

Starscream took a step back. "What?"

Bulkhead grabbed ahold of Starscream and threw the Seeker behind him. Starscream slammed into the river and water splashed everywhere as he rolled across the ground and into Optimus's pedes.

"Danger is near!" Bulkhead shouted. He transformed his wrecking ball and swung it back—

—he swung it forward and it collided with Breakdown's hammer just as Breakdown jumped from the woods.

Optimus's battle mask snapped shut over his faceplate. "Autobots, prepare for battle!"

Breakdown and Knock Out waded into the river up ahead. Knock Out activated his electroprod and it glowed white-hot in the gloom as the sky grew darker and darker.

"The Big M has a message for you all!" he laughed as he spread his arms. Breakdown glared at Bulkhead, but Bulkhead didn't glare back. A look of confusion passed over Breakdown's faceplate and Starscream felt his spark freeze in his chestplates. They couldn't be allowed to know about Bulkhead's condition—he was weak and vulnerable and just one wrong move could get the Wrecker killed. A dark sense of irony descended upon Starscream. The memories of his dead brother were going to get his new brother _killed._

Optimus helped Starscream to his pedes and out of the cold river. "Optimus," Starscream breathed as the freezing water sluiced down his frame. "They can't know about Bulkhead's state, he's too vulnerable! I'm worried for him!"

Optimus looked at Starscream with wide optics. "So you finally admit to caring for him."

"I… what?"

He pushed Starscream behind him and pointed the blaster of his barrel right at the two Decepticons. "Autobots, call a bridge and get Bulkhead and Starscream to safety."

"I can fight!" Starscream hissed.

Optimus continued to glare at the Decepticons and held his arm out to stop Starscream from moving forward. "If you are lost, then Bulkhead will be lost as well. And if Bulkhead's end comes about… then it could bring about your end, too."

"Ooh, a brotherly spat!" Knock Out laughed. "Autobot domestic drama is the best drama. Anyway, our Lord has a message for you."

"Oh? And what does he have to say?" Arcee snapped.

Lightning crackled and sparked across the electro-prod and lit up the whole river in bright white flashes. "He would like to tell you in person."

A new groundbridge appeared over the water and Megatron stepped through it. The dim red light of the setting sun washed over the sharp curves of his armor as he stomped out of the bridge and into the river. The rocks and the trees all around them shook with each one of his massive pedesteps. His red optics shone like searchlights as he tromped forward and his gaze settled upon Starscream.

"So, the brothers have made their debut once again."

"Megatron, stop this nonsense. Your fight is with me, not with them," Optimus said as he moved to block Starscream.

"On the contrary, Prime. My fight is with mainly Starscream now—you and I have always been foes, that is nothing new—but my second-in-command is now my main _true _foe. He is the epitome of everything that must be purged from the world. His treachery, his betrayal, his false lies of brotherhood—he is manipulating you, all of you!" Megatron hissed as he continued to stomp forward. "What I do not understand is why he has not _killed _you all yet. What stills your servo, my second?"

Starscream remained perfectly silent and hid behind Optimus's back. He offliend his optics and prayed to Primus that his shaking frame would go unnoticed.

"I see your reflection, my little traitor. And I see a new bit of red upon your frame… is that…?" Megatron's optics widened and he stared harder at the reflection. "Did you get a new badge?! You dared to brand yourself with the Autobot badge, the symbol of everything _wrong _with this universe? Do you know what that badge truly represents, my little Star?"

Starscream held his helm in his servos and prayed to Primus that Megatron would just shut up.

"Do you? It represents the lies of _brotherhood!_" Megatron shrieked as his optics flared violet.

"Subspace log 47… subspace log 47…" Bulkhead mumbled. He stared wide-eyed into the distance and blearily stomped forwards through the river—right towards Megatron. He walked right past Knock Out's electro-prod and Breakdown.

Breakdown leaned over and looked at Knock Out. "What's up with him?"

A smile spread across Knock Out's faceplate. "Ooh, looks as if we've found out where the data went!"

Bulkhead continued to mindlessly walk right towards the warlord. Arcee and Bumblebee darted out in front of him and tried to pull him back—but then Bulkhead swung both of his arms out in a wide arc and sent the two Autobots into the river.

Megatron watched Bulkhead approach him with an air of amusement in his field.

"No, no, Bulkhead, refrain, refrain!" Optimus shouted. He transformed his other arm into a blaster and pointed one at the warlord and another at Knock Out and Breakdown. If he dared to move the blaster away from Knock out and Breakdown, they could attack vulnerable Starscream and Bulkhead. If he pointed his blaster away from Megatorn, the warlord would lunge and Bulkhead would be dead.

_"And so we will be together, forever, you and I, exploring new worlds in the stars, my Star…" _Bulkhead moaned.

Megatron laughed. "Oh, if only you had a third blaster to point at your _true _enemy, Prime—the one cowering behind you."

Starscream was completely frozen. He covered his Autobot badge with his servos and looked up with wide optics at everybody as panic welled up in his field.

_"And so we will be together—forever—my end will bring about yours—"_

"Wrecker, what is it that you are trying to say?" Megatron growled. "Bold of you to assume you could approach me with such disrespect!"

Bulkhead continued to tromp forward. "Starrrscreammmm…"

"Bulkhead! Cease this instant!" Optimus shouted.

Megatron laughed and transformed one of his servos into a blade.

Arcee and Bumblebee rose from the water, but Breakdown and Knock Out stood right over them. Breakdown kept his hammer raised above Arcee's helm and Knock Out pointed his electro-prod directly at Bumblebee's wide optics.

Optimus tensed his frame, but Megatron just laughed.

"You can save your Wrecker, but at the price of your other two soldiers. Or you can save your other two soldiers at the price of your Wrecker! One swing of that hammer, and your two-wheeler's helm will be caved in. One good shock with an electro-prod, and your little scout is little more than a crisp!" Megatron said as he threw his arms wide open, almost as if he was trying to welcome Bulkhead.

_"The Council is cruel, but one day someone will throw them down and we will have peace, Starscream, peace, peace, peace—"_

Megatron snarled. "I will give you peace if that is what you desire, Wrecker," he said as he raised his blade. It glinted bright red in the dim sunlight.

"Bulkhead, listen to me! Ignore the logs! You are walking towards _Megatron_, not Starscream! _Megatron!_ Cease your walk forward!"

_"Together. Forever. Endless starlight. Do you know how to find Cybertron in the event that I die, Starscream? Do you?"_

"Bulkhead, no!" Optimus shouted. He aimed his blaster downward and fired a volley of plasma bolts into the river. A cloud of steam hissed up into the air and filled the air with a thick layer of mist.

All of the Autobots stared breathlessly at the cloud of steam as it rose into the air. All was silent.

_"The mist… the mist will stop him, right?"_ Bumblebee whimpered.

Two red lights shone in the darkness. Megatron waved his sword and made the mist disperse around him. Bulkhead continued to stomp forward.

"Bulkhead, stop!" Arcee screamed.

Bulkhead ignored her. _"Together. Forever. The Council is so cruel, oh, look what they did to your wings, Starscream!"_

_"Stop, Bulk, stop!" _Bumblebee whirred in alarm. Knock Out slammed down with his prod and electrocuted Bumblebee. Currents of electricity flashed through the stream and lightning sizzled and hissed in the water.

Starscream watched the lightning jump and hiss across the bubbling water. He slowly turned around and looked at Bulkhead.

"No, Bulkhead!" Starscream shouted.

Bulkhead ignored him and moved even closer to the warlord. Megatron was now within striking distance of the Wrecker. A fanged smile spread across his faceplate, and he raised his sword high—

Starscream took a deep vent.

"Skyfire, stop!"

Bulkhead stopped walking. He turned around and looked at Starscream.

"Stop what?" he said.

Starscream darted out from behind Optimus and ran forward and through the river. Each one of his rapid pedesteps made a new wave splash up into the water and he leaped into the air and slammed right into Bulkhead just as Megatron's sword swung down and into the water.

The Seeker and the Wrecker fell down into the river Starscream's helm hit the bottom of the riverbed and he was completely submerged underneath Bulkhead's frame.

He scrambled to get out from under the Wrecker's heavy frame. Megatron stood upon the surface of the water and began to stomp towards Starscream.

Two large servos hooked themselves under Starscream's arms and pulled him free. He was dragged into the woods and could only squirm helplessly as he was yanked away from Bulkhead. Megatron watched him vanish into the trees with wide optics.

His rescuer dragged him onto the bank—but didn't stop. Starscream was dragged farther and farther and farther away from the river and into the woods until soon the sound of the water was gone and only the sounds of the deep woods remained.

Trees snapped and twigs crunched underneath his frame as he was harshly pulled along the forest floor. "Stop it, stop it, Prime, you've saved me!"

The pair of servos let go and let Starscream fall to the ground.

"Oh, Starscream. Why would you call me a Prime? I'm nothing like Sentinel!" Skyfire said.

Starscream whipped around and stumbled to his pedes. Skyfire stood in the woods before him with a disappointed look on his faceplate. The rays of the sun shone behind Skyfire and cast the shuttle's frame into deep shadow. Starscream stood under the shuttle's shadow and looked up at his hidden faceplate. The only part of him that was visible were his two bright blue optics.

"You're… you're not real!" Starscream sputtered. Water dripped down from his frame and formed a puddle around him. He jumped into the air and tried to leap over a log—

A large servo grabbed ahold of his wing and slammed him back down. "Starscream, Starscream, how can I protect you if I am not _with _you, hmmm?"

"The only bot I need protection from here is _you_! Stop pretending to be him!"

Skyfire tilted his helm and hummed. "Well, don't you need protection from him?"

Starscream blinked. "Who's 'him'?"

"I will not be rejected yet again! You fled from me once and this time you will not be so lucky!" Megatron shouted. The entire forest shook and boomed as Megatron ran through the trees at full speed. His two bridge red optics shone from within the woods as he tore down tree after tree.

"Oh, no, no no no no!" Starscream shrieked. He stumbled back to his pedes and broke into a run. Skyfire tried to grab him again, but Starscream lashed out with his talon and swiped the shuttle's servo. Energon dripped down from the slash marks in his servo and he looked up at Starscream with pain in his optics.

Starscream ran and ran. He couldn't turn around, he couldn't bear to see the pain in Skyfire's eyes, he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't—

"Oh, Starscream!" Megatron shouted. His voice echoed through the trees so much that Starscream couldn't figure out where his voice had originated from. "You cannot flee from justice forever!"

Starscream stumbled over a fallen log and frantically looked around for the river. He heard the distant sound of water splashing off in the distance.

"How could you abandon me?" Skyfire's voice cried. "After all that I did for you?"

"Wretch! Give yourself to me at this very moment!" Megatron's voice echoed through the dark trees.

The sound of the river was louder now. He continued to run and run as their voices travelled after him. Any moment now he'd see a flash of red and blue armor, at any moment he'd see Optimus and the others there in the river—

He looked ahead and saw only more trees.

_"Oh, Starscream. My end will bring about yours," _Skyfire's voice echoed after him. Something blue shimmered in the trees.

_"I will bring an end to this brotherhood and all that it stands for!" _Megatron's growl travelled across the breeze.

_"Subspace Log 47!"_ a new voice shouted.

Somebody grabbed Starscream. He shrieked and spun around—

—and came faceplate to faceplate with Bulkhead.

The Wrecker stared at him with wide optics. "Star! You alright?!"

"I… uh… you're yourself again?!"

Bulkhead nodded shakily. "Y-yes, for now the logs have left my processor. F-for now. I guess you knocked em' right out of me, hah!"

"Bulkhead, Megatron, and Skyfire, they're all here, and, and—"

"Calm down and follow me!" Bulkhead said as the voices of Skyfire and Megatron echoed around their helms.

"Do you know where the river is?" Starscream whimpered.

Bulkhead bit his lip and his optics flickered. "Um."

"What?! Don't tell me you got lost!"

"I got lost."

"Oh, you little—!"

"Hey, hey," Bulkhead breathed. He gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulders and held the shaky Seeker steady. The two of them stood alone in the midst of the dark forest. Trees towered over them and shook and moaned in the breeze. The distant sound of Megatron's growls and Skyfire's laughter echoed through the dark green leaves.

"We can make it, okay, Star? I know we can. I dunno how we will find the rest of the team, but, er, I'm sure we will. I'm s-sure of it!"

Starscream leaned forward and pressed his forehelm to Bulkhead's. Bulkhead's optics widened and surprise flared in his field, but he leaned into the touch.

"When I called you Skyfire back there… I meant it, Bulkhead."

Bulkhead blinked. "What… I don't understand…"

"Yes, you do. I've made you into a replacement for him!"

"No, no you haven't! Er, well... okay, you totally have."

Starscream whined.

Bulkhead tilted his faceplate up so he could look the Seeker in the optics. "But hey, that's not an insult, okay? That's fine. I'm repeating the last words of your old buddy for Primus' sake, of course you're gonna feel like I'm him! I just…" Bulkhead bit his lip.

"What do we do?" Starscream asked softly.

Megatron roared off in the distance. Skyfire laughed.

"I… I don't know. And that's where Skyfire and I are different—he would know what to do. But I don't know," Bulkhead sighed. Skyfire's cries echoed through the air.

Pedesteps sounded behind them.

"Do you remember when we flew through the spires of Vos together?" a new voice said. It echoed off from deep within the shadowy woods and rang around in Starscream's helm. This was not the quiet timbre of Skyfire's voice, the warm laugh of Bulkhead's, or even the guttural growl of Megatron's—this was the voice of a different mech.

Another _dead _mech.

"Do you remember, do you? Do you? Do you?" a second voice laughed off to his right. Starscream whirled around to see who was speaking, but saw nothing except for endless trees that stretched off into the dark distance.

Starscream clutched onto Bulkhead's arm so tightly that his talons left faint scratches in the Wrecker's armor. "Do you hear that?!" Starscream yelped. "Do you hear the voices? Do you? Tell me, tell me I'm not going sane—"

"Oh, you are already insane, my dear Star," Skyfire's voice laughed. "But we can _fix _that, can't we?"

Starscream's optics darted around as he frantically looked for the voice's sources. Bulkhead grabbed ahold of his helm and turned his faceplate so that he could look the Seeker in the optics. He gently pulled Starscream close until Starscream could feel each one of Bulkhead's shaky vents wash across his frame.

"Starscream," Bulkhead began to say.

The three new voices spoke all at once and from all directions, until soon all they could hear was a cacophony of the cries of bots who had died thousands of years ago.

"Star—" Bulkhead grit out as his grip on Starscream's faceplate tightened.

_"You let us die once, so don't let us die again,"_ Skyfire said.

"—Starscream, we need to—" Bulkhead tried to finish.

Bulkhead suddenly transformed his arm into a blaster and pointed it right past Starscream's helm and into the woods. Starscream turned around just in time to watch a sizzling hot blue blaster bolt pass right through the frame of Skyfire. Skyfire's entire frame shuddered and flickered as the bolt passed right through him. Two more bots walked into sight. Starscream felt his spark freeze.

"...Brothers?" he whispered.

Thundercracker and Skywarp stared back at him.

Bulkhead grabbed ahold of his helm and turned Starscream around until they were optic-to-optic again.

"Starscream, we need to _run._"

He could feel them behind him. He could feel the way the edges of his trinemate's EM fields brushed against his and he could feel the pure grief in them. It would be so easy to just turn around, to just turn around and to see the faceplates of the two mechs he'd wanted to see again for so many years now.

If he turned around to look at them, he wasn't sure if he'd be strong enough to look away again.

"Do not look," Bulkhead said. "Do. Not. Look."

He didn't give Starscream a choice. He tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's arm and broke into a run through the trees and practically dragged him through the woods. Entire trees fell flat behind Bulkhead as he ran along. Starscream struggled to keep up with the Wrecker's massive hurried pedesteps. He turned around and briefly caught a glimpse of his trinemates and Skyfire watching him from the trees. Skyfire had a look of pure grief on his faceplate, Skywarp had a grimace, and Thundercracker—

Thundercracker smiled.

* * *

_Hello, I just wanted to clear up the timeline really quickly. The entire story so far has taken place between E20 "Partners" and has now moved into E21 "T.M.I." I will be following the timeline of the show more from now on and will rewrite the events of the entire series all the way through to Predacons Rising. I'll still make Starscream and the gang go on adventures of their own that take place between the episodes, though. Thanks for reading and thank you so much for your kind words, I deeply appreciate every comment!_


	15. Tell Me a Story

Soundwave watched Megatron run off into the woods at full speed. He sighed and opened a groundbridge that unleashed a swarm of drones down into the river below. The Autobots immediately began to fight the Decepticons in a flurry of water and plasma bolts. Soundwave flew through the sky in lazy circles and watched all of the chaos happening from above.

Megatron's haste to capture the Seeker was… unfortunate. The Seeker needed to die, oh yes, but Soundwave had hoped his Lord would be a bit less... feral about it. He missed the old days in which Megatron had been a gladiator and had disposed of his enemies with grace and bravado—not by chasing them through the woods like some angry beast. He idly wondered when this change in Megatron had occurred.

Bulkhead burst through the trees and back into the river in a full run while clutching tightly onto the traitor. The two of them stumbled into the water with a massive splash as they looked behind them in fear at something. Soundwave flew back a bit to get a better look at Megatron as he inevitably raised his sword to kill the two bots—

Wait. That wasn't Megatron pursuing them. No, Starscream and Bulkhead fearfully stared at another mech.

Thundercracker stood upon the bank in all his blue-and-grey glory.

He looked just like he had before Soundwave and his Lord had enacted their Grand Plan to dispose of him.

He was dead. Soundwave had watched Thundercracker die in Starscream's arms. This had to be an imposter. So then who—?

Realization hit him like a brick and he nearly fell out of the sky. Who indeed?

Thundercracker glanced up into the sky and his optics widened at the sight of Soundwave circling above.

Soundwave sent a ping over to Laserbeak. "THAT IS NOT YOUR FACE, MY DEAR CASSETICON."

Thundercracker grimaced and returned his attention to the two terrified mechs in the river.

"IT IS NOW," Laserbeak responded. Then the comm went dead.

A purple burst of light flashed in the air behind Starscream and Bulkhead. Skywarp materialized and leaned down over Starscream.

"It's good to see you again, Trineleader!" he laughed.

"You're not real!" Bulkhead spat. He swung his wrecking ball, but faltered at the last moment. He crashed into the side of the bank with a clang. Optimus turned at the sound of the noise and his optics widened at the sight of them all—but then a blaster bolt grazed past his helm, and he jumped back into the fray of battle.

"Hey, 'Scree! Where have you been all these years? We waited for you," Skywarp laughed again. He walked right past Bulkhead and reached a servo down to help Starscream up.

Starscream stared at Skywarp in silent horror. No. He'd seen him die. It couldn't be him—but at the same time, how could it not? Those cheerful red optics, that twinge of joy in his field, that mischievous smirk on his faceplate—it could be no other than Skywarp, the mech he'd made his trinemate, the mech he'd called his _brother, _the mech whom he'd completely and utterly _failed— _

He knew he should just swat away the fake Seeker's servo and run for the hills and never look back. But the idea of hurting his trinemate—even a fake version of him—made his armor lock up and his vents come in quicker gasps.

"Stop it, 'Warp, you're scaring him!" Thundercracker groaned. He stepped up beside Skywarp and the two of them loomed over Starscream's prone frame in the rushing water.

Skywarp made a clicking noise. "He's always scared, isn't he? But that wasn't how it always was! Oh, you used to be so _brave, _Trineleader… but now? Well, now you're all shook up." He leaned down until he was right above Starscream's terrified faceplate. "Don't worry, though. We can fix you."

"...Fix me?" Starscream asked softly. He stumbled to his pedes, but then fell back into the river again with a splash. He looked past the frames of his trinemates for help, but all of the Autobots were too caught up in their battle with the drones.

"Bulkhead?! Where are you, you imbecile?" Starscream stuttered as he frantically looked around for any sign of green armor. He saw Bulkhead up high on the bank with his optics locked onto the sky.

"Bulkhead, _help me! _" he shrieked. Pleading for help made something cold settle in the pit of his tank—but the way his trinemates looked at him made him feel even colder.

Bulkhead said nothing and continued to stare into space. "I worry… that… that my end…"

Starscream froze. "No."

"That my end…"

"Don't say it!" Starscream shouted as he punched the river with his fist. He sent a flurry of water into the air that splashed across his trinemate's frames. Instead of looking annoyed, they just looked amused.

"My end… will bring about…" Bulkhead said as he slowly turned around to face Starscream. His optics shone a brighter shade of blue than Starscream had ever seen them shine before. He reached a servo out to Starscream, but then his servo spasmed and his arm fell flat by his side again.

_"Yours," _Bulkhead finished quietly. His final word was so soft, yet Starscream could hear it boom within his helm.

"Oh, tsk tsk tsk, you've been betrayed again, haven't you?" Skywarp cooed. "First it was the Academy, then the warlord… and then… you were betrayed by _yourself. _"

"No!" Starscream shrieked. He rose to his pedes and—

A wave of nostalgia suddenly struck him and coolant prickled in the corners of his optics.

He was standing with his trine again, the way he had dreamed of doing for over a thousand years now.

Thundercracker and Skywarp's frames flickered and briefly vanished before reappearing again.

The nostalgic illusion ended.

"You're not real, you are _not _, and I don't want anything to do with you!" Starscream shouted at them.

"We're a _part _of you, Starscream. You can't escape _yourself, _" Thundercracker scoffed. A smile slowly spread across his faceplate as he held a servo out to Starscream. "Or _can _you?"

"What are you saying?" Starscream shook out. He could fight them, he could, but Bulkhead's blaster bolt had harmlessly passed through the fake Skyfire, so what good could his own shaky talons do?

Bulkhead slid down the bank and back into the river. His optics rapidly flickered on and off and his entire frame shuddered as he tried to reach Starscream.

"_ Subspace… log… my end… _no, Starscream, I'm coming, I'm _coming _, hold on you pesky little Seeker, hold on— _Subspace Log 47… _." He collapsed into the river with a splash and reached a shaky servo out to Starscream.

"Stop holding on!" Thundercracker shouted as he waved his arms about. "Stop holding onto all of this and just let go!"

"What are you even talking about?!" Starscream shrieked.

Skywarp and Thundercracker looked at Starscream and spoke in unison. "Let. Go."

Bulkhead rammed through their frames. They vanished for a split second and dissolved into pixels of light that hovered in mid-air. Then the pixels grouped back together and Skywarp and Thundercracker became whole again.

"You... you're gonna have to go through _me _first to get to him!" Bulkhead grunted.

Skywarp and Thundercracker glared at him, but then they both looked behind him and their optics widened at the same time.

Starscream held still. There was something behind him, he could feel it.

The air buzzed.

He was kicked into the water and held down by a heavy pede into the cold violent rapids. Soundwave's cracked visor stared at him through his reflection as he ground his pede deeper into the scar on Starscream's back where his other wing had been.

Megatron burst free from the trees and stood in the river up ahead. Optimus tried to run forward to fight him, but then a new swarm of drones emerged out of the groundbridge and overwhelmed the Prime.

_"There's too many! They just keep coming! We can't keep fighting forever, Optimus!" _Bumblebee beeped in alarm as he fired off volley after volley of blaster bolts.

Optimus grunted as he kicked another drone off to the side. "Megatron, this is our fight!" he shouted as yet another drone ran up to him to fight him.

"No," Megatron said as he turned around to look at Starscream. "Not anymore. Bring Starscream to me."

Soundwave flipped Starscream around so that they could look at each other faceplate-to-faceplate.

"No!" Starscream cried out as Soundwave tightly held him into the water. "Bulkhead, I need you, _I need you—! _"

_"Subspace Log 47… Subspace Log 78…" _Bulkhead muttered.

Skywarp and Thundercracker flashed into existence right beside Soundwave and the three of them stood tall over Starscream's prone frame. Their frames flashed and flickered over and over again and all of their optics glowed blood-red in the dark night.

"Bring him to me!" Megatron shouted again.

Soundwave looked over his shoulder and narrowed his single visible optic at the warlord. "NOT YET. MISSION OBJECTIVE: TO BREAK THE SEEKER."

He grabbed ahold of Starscream's single wing in his thin servos and held it tightly to the ground. He extended his thin and sharp digits—took one last look at Starscream—and then began to gouge deep cuts into Starscream's wing.

"No, no no no!" Starscream shrieked as his wing was mutilated. His trinemates stood over him and leered down at him with unhidden glee in their red optics.

"Please stop, Soundwave, stop, please!" he begged, but Soundwave ignored him.

Pure and raw desperation filled his field. He tried to grab ahold of the rocks to pull himself away from Soundwave, but then his trinemates just brought their pedes down onto his thrashing limbs and pinned him down even further into the riverbed.

Optimus looked over at him through the frenzy of battle, but then yet another group of drones swarmed him. He watched Starscream cry from far across the river. "Starscream!" he shouted, but the sound of his voice was drowned out by the sound of the rushing water and the sharp noises Soundwave's digits made as they cut into Starscream's wing.

"Soundwave, stop this foolish nonsense and bring me the brother. Right. Now!" Megatron hissed.

Soundwave ignored him and continued to cut into Starscream's wing. Energon bled out from the cuts and floated through the water and made the river itself glow bright blue with Starscream's blood.

He leaned in close until his cracked visor was right above Starscream's coolant-stained faceplate. "DO YOU… REMEMBER… WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SENATE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?"

Starscream froze.

"SO YOU _DO _REMEMBER."

"I didn't m-mean to!" Starscream choked out. "I swear, I swear, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry won't cut it!" Skywarp snapped.

"Saying _'sorry' _won't bring us back to life," Thundercracker said.

"I'm sorry, I know it won't help, but I _wish it could! _" Starscream sobbed. He looked out across the river and saw Bulkhead knelt in the water. Starscream's energon poured into the river and flowed around Bulkhead's half-submerged frame.

"Subspace Log… Subspace Log…" Bulkhead muttered as he shakily reached down and let the bloodied water run over his servos.

"Subspace… Log….." His helm shot up and he looked at Starscream. His jaw continued to move up and down as he continued to recite the logs.

"Bulkhead, please help me!" Starscream cried out.

Bulkhead continued to stare into space.

"Skyfire, please help me!"

No response. Bulkhead continued to stare into space and mutter on and on.

Starscream held back a cry of pain as Soundwave cut into a particularly sensitive part of his wing. He dipped his helm in the river and held back his sobs as the pain just increased and increased—

"_ Just… just let me hold you…" _Bulkhead said softly.

Starscream sniffled and looked up at him.

_"I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold you," _Bulkhead said mournfully.

Starscream's optics widened. "You're… you're reliving_ that _memory…"

Soundwave yanked Starscream closer to him and his trinemates dug their pedes into his frame even harder.

An idea formed in his processor. His entire processor was overwhelmed with a sense of hot white swift pain and it was hard to think, so so so hard—and it would be even harder to put this plan into action—

But he had to try.

Starscream took a deep vent. "D-don't talk like that, Skyfire!"

Bulkhead's helm looked up at him and he made optic contact. _"I might have to face the Enforcers down." _

Starscream grunted and dragged himself across the riverbed to reach Bulkhead. More of his blood poured out into the river and pooled around their two frames. "No, you won't! I-I'll be there with you!"

_"You're too small, Star!" _Bulkhead said.

Soundwave continued to tightly hold onto Starscream's wing as he watched their conversation. Megatron held up a servo and the Decpeticons stopped fighting the Autobots. Everybody turned around and looked at Starscream and Bulkhead.

"I'm not s-small. I can _protect _you."

_"Oh, Starscream," _Bulkhead laughed. _"You can't protect me from everything." _

"I-I can, and I will!" Starscream choked out. He thought he could protect the shuttle from anything, but he couldn't even protect him from one measly storm.

Bulkhead looked off into the distance as if noticing something.

"What? What is it?" Starscream asked,

_"Go to sleep, Star," _Bulkhead said. He shuffled forward through the river and gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's bloodied servos.

Soundwave watched the two of them very intently. He tightened his grip on Starscream's wing and made Starscream yelp in pain.

"I can't," Starscream gasped out. "Not when they are out there w-waiting for us!"

_"They don't know we're here! We just need to lay low and hide—" _

"Just like rats! We're worthless to them!"

Bulkhead's field flared with warmth. _"You're not worthless. Not to me. Go to sleep, Star," _Bulkhead said as he patted his helm. _"Subspace Log 52… I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here. My end is near. I can feel it. And I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

Bulkhead's optims dimmed and he stared blankly into space.

"The m-memory is over! You have to be yourself again, right? Help me!"

Bulkhead did nothing. _"Oh, Starscream." _

No.

The plan _failed. _

Reenacting the memory should've pulled Bulkhead _out _of the memory lapse and not into the present—it wasn't supposed to make him zone out again!

Nobody spoke. The only sound was the roar of the river and Starscream's quiet sobs.

"I have been replaced yet again!" Megatron snarled. "And the Seeker has chosen a bumbling Wrecker as his new companion, of all bots to choose from!"

Megatron broke into a run and charged at Bulkhead at full speed with his sword extended. He leaped forward with a roar and—

—Bulkhead swung his wrecking ball out. It smacked into Megatron and made the warlord skid back into the river. Starscream's spilt energon pooled in the water around his pedes. Megatron looked up again, and his optics shone redder than ever before.

"Look what you did, Soundwave! You allowed the wretch to fool another bot into becoming his brother!_ Look at what you have done! _"

Soundwave stood up and stepped right over Starscream's mutilated frame until he stood right before the warlord. He marched right towards Megatron and left Starscream behind in the bloodied water.

Soundwave and Megatron stared coldly at one another and said nothing as the bloodied water rushed by their pedes.

Starscream took the opportunity. He shot to his pedes and ran to Bulkhead at full speed. Bulkhead tightly held him in his arms and dragged him away from the two fuming Decepticons and over to the Autobots. He gently held out Starscream's wing and made a choking noise at the sight of all of the bloody cuts in it.

Megatron moved to chase after the Seeker, but Soundwave moved in front of Megatron and blocked his way.

"Soundwave, you dare thwart my plans yet again?!"

He stood tall before his Lord and tried to keep his frame steady in the rushing water of the river. He would not—_ could not— _afford to show any kind of weakness before Megatron. Starscream had shown his weakness and paid for it a thousand times over. Soundwave was no Starscream, he was _Soundwave— _despite what his misled Lord might believe.

He needed to be careful about this. One wrong word would be enough to incite the warlord's wrath. Soundwave was no longer as immune to his Lord's mood swings anymore.

"Well? Answer me!" Megatron shouted. Knock Out walked over to the Autobots with his electro-prod. Megatron raised his servo and Knock Out immediately halted.

"Why the delay, Big M?" he scoffed as he twirled his prod around. "Don't you want me to dispose of them—?"

"If you dare try to hurt Starscream, then you will die in your attempt," Megatron snarled as he looked out across all of the Decepticons. The Seeker ran down the river and back over to the shaking Wrecker. Optimus concernedly looked over his soldiers before he then briefly glanced up at Megatron. He narrowed his optics at the warlord and then turned around to block Starscream and Bulkhead from sight.

"I gave you an order," Megatron rasped quietly. Soundwave knew that tone of voice.

It was the calm before the storm Megatron would create.

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"I told you to bring Starscream to me, and yet you did _not _!" Megatron shouted. He kicked his pede into the water and sent a wave of bloodied water right at Soundwave. The dirtied river water splashed onto Soundwave's frame. Starscream's energon coated his thin servos and dripped down into the violent waters below.

"Answer me!" Megatron repeated.

He had to answer the warlord, he had to—but for some reason, he could not bring himself to activate his vocalizer. Why _had _he disobeyed his Lord?

"Soundwave…" Megatron growled.

He always answered Megatron's questions immediately, and yet here he was—_ hesitating. _Soundwave was _not _the kind of mech to hesitate.

He had not hesitated to take his revenge upon Starscream, though.

Megatron tilted his visor up so that he and Soundwave were faceplate-to-faceplate. "Oh, I know why you didn't obey my orders."

Something flew over their helms and they looked up. Laserbeak darted through the sky above the river and trilled as she passed over their helms. She hovered in the dark night sky like a hot violet star as she floated over the terrified Seeker and the muttering Wrecker. Bulkhead tenderly held Starscream's bloodied wing and wiped the energon off as the Seeker sniffled.

Bulkhead grimaced at the sight of the cuts on Starscream's wings. "W-woah, Star, your wing, is, um… You know what, no. Let me clear the blood away," Bulkhead asked. He held Starscream close to him and smeared the energon away with his shaky servo.

"You're _you _again! Thank… thank…" Starscream whimpered. He wasn't sure why, but it suddenly seemed extremely difficult to force those two words out of his intake. _Thank you _. It was so little, yet so much at the same time.

He rested his forehelm against Bulkhead's chestplate as Soundwave and Megatron argued. The Autobots approached them and the rest of the Decepticons hung back and watched it all go down with wide optics.

"You saved me," Starscream muttered as he offlined his optics.

"Oh, no problem," Skyfire said.

Starscream's optics shot wide open and he looked up and into the faceplate of Skyfire.

"No!" Starscream shouted as he tried to pull himself away.

"Hey, hey hold still! Don't hurt yourself any further!" Skyfire scolded. His voice sounded like a combination of his voice and Bulkhead's mixed together.

"Where did Bulkhead go?!" Starscream snarled.

Skyfire frowned. "I'm right here, Star! Did you bonk your helm too?!"

His faceplate flickered and for a single second Starscream saw Bulkhead underneath the hologram of Skyfire. Thundercracker and Skywarp flickered into existence and stood behind Skyfire—or was it Bulkhead?—as he continued to clear the blood off of Starscream's wing.

Soundwave continued to remain silent as a smile spread across Megatron's faceplate. Breakdown, Knock Out, and all of the drones rapidly looked back and forth between the Autobots and Soundwave and Megatron.

On the other side of the river, Megatron leaned in so close that Soundwave could feel his warm vents wash over his blank visor. "I know why you did not bring the Seeker to me."

Soundwave's spark pulsed in his chestplates. Not even he knew the answer. He had just looked at the Seeker and felt something within him _snap. _

"Ohohoho, don't be coy with me, my _loyal _second. You refused to obey me because you wanted to take the Seeker and hurt him, you wanted to watch him _bleed. _"

Megatron tightened his claws over Soundwave's shoulders. This was it. This was the moment he'd acknowledge that his new second-in-command was no better than his last one, this was the moment Megatron would tell Soundwave that he was being just as greedy and power hungry as the traitorous Seeker.

Megatron growled. "You want Starscream to be your brother."

...What.

Farther down the river the trinemates prowled around Starscream like a pair of hungry spark eaters.

"Don't you miss us, Screamer?" Skywarp said.

"Why did you forget about us?" Thundercracker sighed.

"Ignore them," Skyfire—maybe Bulkhead?—said. "They're not real."

Starscream looked up at him with wide optics. "Are _you _real?"

"Of course I am!" the mech said. His voice sounded warped and distorted and his faceplate kept vanishing and then reappearing. One moment it was Bulkhead before him, then Skyfire, then Bulkhead, then Skyfire, and his trinemates were watching him, laughing at him, crying and crying—

Starscream held his helm in his servos and screamed. "How do I know who's real and who _isn't?! _"

Bulkhead—Skyfire—Bulkhead frowned. "Star, _I'm _real!"

The rest of the Autuobots jumped into action around him and fired up at something purple that hovered in the sky. Optimus sat beside Starscream and looked into the Seeker's wet optics.

"You know who is real and who is not. I know you do," Optimus said gently.

Megatron grabbed ahold of Soundwave's arm and dragged his new second-in-command farther down the river and away from the Autobot's commotion. He dragged Soundwave away to isolate him, the same way he used to drag Starscream away to isolate and punish him back when the Seeker was still his Lord's servant.

"Do not lie to me, but also do not lie to yourself! You are jealous of the brotherhood between Starscream and I, so you attempted to make the Seeker your own!"

Soundwave stepped back and nearly tripped on the rocks that jutted out of the river. "QUERY? QUERY?"

"Oh, you know precisely what I speak of! You tried to mentally break Starscream so that he would come crawling to you! How dare you?! I was the one who broke and tamed that wretch in the first place, _I _was the first one to play brother to him—and here you are now, trying to usurp my place? Trying to break Starscream so that he can also be your plaything? I think not, Soundwave. I. Think. _Not. _"

Megatron's servos creaked as he tightened them into fists. Laserbeak swung around and flashed her red visor as she shone a light onto Bulkhead. A hologram of Skyfire appeared and overlaid itself right over Bulkhead's faceplate. Thundercracker and Skywarp shimmered into existence and stood beside the confused and frightened Seeker as he struggled to tell who was real and who wasn't.

"So, this is what your bird has been up to?" Megatron hummed as he watched Starscream panic from afar. "She is trying to reenact the Grand Plan. It worked before. Perhaps it could work again… yes, all it took was some smoke and mirrors to completely destroy Starscream's sense of reality—perhaps she could pull it off again."

Soundwave's spark sank. There's no way the warlord could approve of this foolish plan. If Laserbeak failed, then she would become just as dead as the bots she pretended to be.

"MY LORD… WHY NOT TAKE STARSCREAM?"

Starscream did not notice the Decepticon's fight. He could only stare in silent horror as Skyfire's face overlaid itself across Bulkhead's.

He then did the only thing he could think of. He reached his servos out and grabbed ahold of the sides of Bulkhead's helm.

"Do-do you remember when you grounded me? When you took me aside in the woods and made f-fun of me and got me to calm down? That was Bulkhead. That was _Bulkhead, _not Skyfire. Do you remember?"

Skyfire—Bulkhead—Skyfire nodded. "I remember, Star. I remember. I said that… that what we saw in the woods was messed up… and that we could talk about it if you wanted to. Do… d'ya wanna talk about it?"

Starscream leaned back. Skyfire's faceplate reappeared and overlaid itself over Bulkhead's. Starscream looked up and saw something purple in the sky above both their helms.

He shrieked and pointed his servo right at Laserbeak. "You, why you little—!"

"Laserbeak, end the hologram," Optimus said firmly as he looked up at her. _"Now." _

Megatron turned around and tightly grabbed ahold of Soundwave's shoulders again. "Why not just go over there and claim the Seeker for myself, you ask? I could do that I suppose, but watching his sense of reality shatter again is _far _more entertaining. Besides—showing my _new _second-in-command what will happen to him by making him watch the old second-in-command go insane will surely teach you to never disobey me again."

Soundwave looked up into Megatron with pure shock in his field. The rest of the Decepticons watched from afar and warily stared at them. He was completely alone there in the river with just the warlord and a hundred pairs of optics on the two of them.

Megatron roared and fired his fusion cannon at the water. It slammed into the waves right in front of Bulkhead and Starscream and sent up a massive wave that made the Seeker fall to the ground.

Starscream landed in the water with a splash and heard laughter all around him. Thundercracker and Skywarp's reflections leered at him as they stepped closer.

Starscream sat up in the river and scrambled away from his fake trinemates. "No, no, you get away from me!"

"We _are _you!" Thundercracker laughed.

He tried to rise to his pedes, but the sheer force of the river overwhelmed his legs and he fell back into the water with a clang. "Stop wearing their faces!"

Skywarp sighed as Starscream shakily rose to his pedes again. "Stop lying to yourself, Starscream! We're real, we're real, we—are—_ REAL—" _

Soundwave tried to come up with some defense—some rebuttal, some refutation that would make the warlord see _reason— _but then he looked, and actually really _looked _into Megatron's optics.

They were violet. Not red, but pure violet.

The color of dark energon.

There was no point in arguing with the warlord when he was infused with the blood of the chaos-bringer. That was the source of the insanity, the madness, the irrationality. It was the dark energon's fault that Megatron was now insane—it was no fault of Megatron's own that he'd begun to develop delusions of brotherhood.

It was just the dark energon.

It _had _to be.

"You are nothing without me, Soundwave. _Nothing. _If you ever dare to try and usurp me and end my plans again, just remember…" Megatron rasped as he leaned in. "My end will bring about _yours. _"

Soundwave gave a stiff nod and stepped back as he opened up a groundbright back to the Nemesis. As Megatron stomped through the green vortex, he took one last look over his shoulder.

Soundwave's spark froze. Perhaps the warlord had turned around to apologize to him—

No, wait, Megatron wasn't looking at Soundwave. Soundwave turned around and followed his Lord's gaze.

Megatron stared right at Starscream as the Seeker had a panic attack.

Megatron smiled and vanished through the bridge.

The dark energon was the only reason Megatron was insane. It was the only explanation Soundwave could accept. Soundwave had no idea what he'd do if it turned out that Megatron's insanity did not come from the dark energon, but from within the warlord himself. He shook his helm and stared up at Laserbeak as she laughed and chittered in the sky. He was unable to save his other creations, but by Primus, he would find a way to save her. He walked through the bridge.

Skywarp's voice became distorted and his entire frame became blurred and pixellated as he lunged right at Starscream. Starscream jumped backwards and tripped on a rock that jutted out of the river. His frame fell backward and at any moment he would feel the cold water rush over his frame as he smacked the riverbed—

An arm reached out and wrapped itself around Starscream's abdomen. He blinked the water out of his eyes and looked up at Bulkhead—not Skyfire, not anybody else—at _Bulkhead. _

"You… you…" Starscream sputtered.

Bulkhead gripped onto Starscream tightly and stopped the Seeker from falling into the river.

"I'm groundin' ya, Starscream!" he laughed.

Starscream's frame shook with relief. "I… thank you—"

Bulkhead violently shuddered and his optics shone a pure bright blue. "SUBSPACE LOG 89," he shouted. His voice boomed across the entire river and made everybody flinch back.

Starscream shrieked and tried to pull himself free from the Wrecker's grasp, but Bulkhead tightened his grip on the Seeker even more.

Megatron and Soundwave watched this all from afar and said and did nothing.

_"Together, forever, the Council must end, you are so much stronger than you really know, my end will bring about yours—" _

"Bulkhead, let me go!" Starscream shouted. "You're—_ hurk— _crushing me!"

Optimus rushed forward and tried to pry Bulkhead's arm off of Starscream's abdomen, but the Wrecker completely ignored the Prime and only tightened his grip on the Seeker even more. He slowly tilted forward into the river and fell into the violent water with Starscream tight in his grasp. Starscream spat water out of his intake as it rushed over his frame. He looked up into Bulkhead's blue and unseeing optics.

_"My end will bring about yours." _

Bulkhead was suddenly pulled off of Starscream. Optimus and Bumblebee wrenched the Wrecker back and dragged him away from Starscream's shaky and bloodied frame.

Laserbeak hovered in the sky and watched them all with a single blood-red optic.

"End this farce and stop manipulating Starscream's sense of reality!" Optimus shouted up at her as he held Bulkhead back.

Laserbeak chittered and flew off.

The Skyfire hologram she had been overlaying atop Bulkhead vanished and Bulkhead was just Bulkhead again.

Arcee walked over to Starscream and helped the Seeker rise to his pedes. For a single second the two of them made optic contact.

They both froze.

Arcee's optics widened and she looked away. "Come… come on…" she muttered as her field fizzled with a strange emotion Starscream couldn't identify.

Bumblebee commed Ratchet and a green groundbridge spun to life right next to them all.

Optimus knelt down and looked at Starscream's wing with wide optics. "We are returning to base right now."

Arcee, Bumblebee, and Optimus helped Starscream and Bulkhead to their pedes and through the bridge.

Starscream took one last look behind him right as he limped through the river. The shimmery forms of Skyfire, Skywarp, and Thundercracker watched him leave.

* * *

Starscream fell out of the groundbridge. A torrent of water washed down from his frame and formed a puddle on the floor. His wing's energon sluiced down and into the puddle. Starscream just stared at his shocked reflection in the water before he then raised his fist and slammed it into the ground. It sent a splash of water over his frame and the concrete floor of the base.

The groundbridge shut behind him and the Autobots just stared at him.

Bulkhead knelt on the ground and shuddered non-stop beside him.

_"Subspace Log 52…" _

"Quiet," Starscream snapped.

_"I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here..." _Bulkhead droned on. Starscream rose to his pedes and stomped towards Bulkhead. He shoved Ratchet back with his arm and grabbed the Wrecker's faceplate in his shaky talons.

"You… you better be quiet now! You're being weird!"

_"My end is near. I can feel it…" _

"Stop. Stop saying that ominous doomsday prophecy, I had enough of that with Megatron—"

Optimus stepped forward and rested his servo on Starscream's wet pauldron. "Starscream, Bulkhead is not… mentally well."

Starscream whirled around to face the Prime. "He saved me, you know that? Reached out, grabbed ahold of me, _held me, _and then dropped me like a brick! And why won't he stop reciting the logs?!"

_"And I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

Optimus's optics widened. "So they are logs? That is what he has been reciting?"

_"And I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

Starscream shut his intake. He'd said too much. He wasn't sure why, but the idea of looking Optimus in the optics and telling him that there was another mech he'd loved a thousand years ago, that there was another mech he still grieved for, another mech he still missed every day, and he felt like that mech was back within Bulkhead—

He bit his lip and felt energon well up in his intake.

_"And I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _Bulkhead repeated.

"Optimus… you have not been entirely honest with me, have you?" Starscream said. All of the Autobots glanced between each other.

Optimus sighed. "No. We have not."

Starscream tried to ignore the pang he felt in his spark at those words. Of course the Prime hadn't told him everything, and why would he? He was still just the rogue 'Con, the defector, the newcomer, the _unwanted _newcomer. Why would Prime entrust him with important information? It made so much sense, yet the revelation still hurt for some reason. This entire problem with Bulkhead felt so close and yet so personal to him because it concerned the words of _Starscream's _old friend, it was the logs meant for _Starscream _that were being recited, and it was the voice of _Starscream's _dead friend that were killing his _new _friend.

"The data cylinder," Starscream blurted out. "When it hit his helm…. All of that data…"

Optimus frowned and nodded grimly. "The data is indeed erasing Bulkhead's memories and personality."

"...Oh."

That didn't hurt. It did not. That is what Starscream told himself. But there was a voice in the back of his helm that sounded an awful lot like Bulkhead—or was it Skyfire?—that was telling him to stop lying.

_Stop lying to yourself, Starscream! _

Optimus tightened his grip on Starscream's shoulder. "I can assure you that we will—"

Did Skyfire live through the storm? Was he buried under the ice? Did he slowly freeze? Could he feel his helm and memories and personality rotting away as he died under a hundred tons of snow?

"—try our hardest to end this affliction—"

_"My end is near. I can feel it…" _

Did Bulkhead live through the storm of data that hit his helm? Was his spark buried under all of the intrusive data? Did it slowly creep into his helm? Could he feel his helm and memories and personality rotting away under a hundred equations and logs?

"—I can assure you that he still has some time left—"

_"And I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

"—he will not be the same, but he will still be with us—"

_"I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here..." _

"—his personality may come to an end—"

_"And I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

_" _— _but…" _

Blue, so blue, blue blue blue, Skyfire's optics were blue too, so was the ice that killed him—

"I'll be fine, just you see!"

Starscream turned around and looked at Bulkhead with wide optics.

Bulkhead just rubbed his neck cables and looked around at everybody. He cleared his intake and pulled Starscream closer.

"There's no need to fear, Star," he said. His frame shuddered and his faceplate spasmed, but then he stilled and returned to normal. Well, he was normal for that moment at least. It was only a matter of time before the dead shuttle's words crept their way back into his processor and hijacked his intake again.

Starscream's jaw dropped. "How?! How can you be this—this _relaxed _? This calm and optimistic?! It makes no sense!"

Bulkhead's smile wavered. "Oh, Starscream. Truth is..." He leaned in until their faceplates were a breath apart. "...I am totally losing my bolts right now. If I lose my processor, then I won't be able to shield lil' Arcee, or give Bumblebee hugs, or make fun of Ratchet when he's being too stuffy, or respect Prime—"

"Wait, wait wait wait…" Starscream said as he held up his servos. Bulkhead looked at him with wide optics and a field full of confusion. Confusion.

_Confusion. _The Wrecker just didn't understand.

"You just listed off all the reasons you're scared to lose yourself. And it seems like the only reason you're worried about having your personality erased is because you won't be able to protect the team anymore."

"Well, duh," Bulkhead said.

"Aren't you worried for your _own _wellbeing?!"

"Of course, Screamer! But I worry even more about _their _wellbeing."

Starscream shook his helm. "Autobots. So sentimental."

Bulkhead laughed and wrapped an arm around Starscream's shoulders. "Hey, you're one of us now, Scree! Soon a day will come when _you'll _be the sentimental one!"

Starscream sputtered. "I would never—"

"Y'know, if I had ever put my arm around you like this in the past, you would've just shrugged me off. But now? You just allowed me to _hold _you just now!"

"What? No, no, I didn't even notice your arm!"

"You curled up into me! And I'm not seeing you trying to remove my arm, now am I?" Bulkhead laughed as he tightened his grip around the offended Seeker.

"Oh, you little—!" Starscream began to swear. Bulkhead's optics went dim and his smile vanished.

Starscream's spark pulsed in his chestplates. "...Bulkhead? Are you there?"

Bulkhead's grip around Starscream slackened and he leaned heavily against the wall. Starscream shrieked as the Wrecker went down with a clang and fell onto the floor.

"Oh slag!" Starscream yelped. He grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's arm and yanked the Wrecker up just before his helm smacked into the concrete floor.

"S-subspace…" Bulkhead rasped as his optics began to glow a brighter shade of blue.

"What are you saying? What? Don't say what I think you're about to say! _Don't! _" Starscream shook out.

"Subbbspaceeee…." Bulkhead moaned. His servo lashed out and he tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder in a vice-like grip. There was nothing warm or comforting about this shoulder hold. Grief and fear pulsed in Bulkhead's field. He turned around to face the Seeker and he opened his intake—

The fear and grief in his field vanished in a split second and a calm field of smooth static replaced his emotions. His optics dimmed and all of the warmth in them disappeared.

_"Subspace Log 52… I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here." _

Ratchet ran up to them and his entire frame drooped. "Oh no…"

Starscream glared. "Don't you 'oh no' me, medic! You're the doctor, it's your job to be comforting, slag it, it's your job to _fix _him—"

"—Starscream," Ratchet interrupted. He dropped to a knee and looked the Seeker right in the optic. "I can't fix him."

"Wh—what? Why not? Do your job, idiot!"

"I'm telling you that I _can't _, okay? The data is taking over his processor."

"Okay. Now what does that actually _mean? _"

_"My end is near. I can feel it. And I worry that my end will bring about yours…" _

Ratchet sighed. "It means that the data is going to delete him and leave him as…"

"...As an empty husk," Miko finished. Starscream looked up and saw the Autobots and humans all watching.

Starscream looked between them all with wide optics. "No, you have to be wrong. There still has to be a way. You… you knew all along that this was happening?"

_"No! Not until recently!" _Bumblebee beeped. _"We only learned this morning." _

Starscream's jaw dropped. "That was _hours _ago and you're just telling me this just now?!"

"I am sorry, Starscream," Optimus said as he stepped forward. "We saw that you were already severely distressed and did not want to upset you further until we found a cure."

"Oh, I'm distressed all right! Ratchet just said he can't fix it!"

Ratchet shook his helm. "I'm working on a cure, okay?"

"Oh, you're _working _on one, but you don't actually _have _one, huh?"

"Starscream," Bulkhead said weakly.

"That makes it all better, now doesn't it?! His mind is slagging _disappearing!" _

Bulkhead coughed. "Screamer..."

"But it's okay because Ratchet maybe, kind of, _sort of _has a cure _but not really, _not really!"

Bulkhead moaned. "Screee…."

Starscream's helm whirled around to face him._ "What?" _

"Screamer, I won't be, like, _totally _gone! I'll be here," he said as he weakly lifted his servo and rested it atop Starscream's helm. "I'll be here in your—"

Starscream snarled. "Don't say it, _don't say it _—"

"—I will be here in your memories, Screamer."

_"No!" _Starscream shot to his pedes. "I am sick and tired of having the bots I care about living on only in my memories or as holograms, slag it! I want them to be real and alive, not stuck in my h-helm and _haunting _me!"

He grabbed onto Bullhead's arm and helped the Wrecker rise unsteadily to his pedes. He began to lead Bulkhead away and deeper into the base.

"Screamy, where are you taking me?"

Starscream said nothing and continued to lead Bulkhead off. Ratchet moved to follow, but then Optimus put a servo on the medic's shoulder. Ratchet glared up at Optimus, but the Prime just shook his helm. The Autobots and humans all watched Starscream stomp off into the base with Bulkhead in tow.

The two of them emerged into a storage room. Starscream shut the door behind him and pushed Bulkhead down onto a dirty crate.

"Screamy, what—?"

"Tell me a story."

Bulkhead blinked. "...What?"

Starscream took a deep vent. He wasn't seriously considering doing this, right?

He looked up and into Bulkhead's confused blue optics. The Wrecker was confused for now, but soon, he would feel nothing at all.

"Tell me a Wrecker story. You said, and I quote, that 'Wrecker stories are the best stories.' So. Prove it."

Bulkhead blinked slowly. He opened his intake to speak and Starscream leaned forward to hear him better—

"Subspace Log 52..." he droned out.

"No!" Starscream groaned. He gently grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's helm in his talons. "No! Tell me a Wrecker story! _Focus! _You were talking about one idiot in particular—Wheeljack! Tell me about that buffoon, yes!"

"Oh, J-jackie! Lemme tell you about him! So there we were, Jackie n' I, on a mission…"

Bulkhead trailed off. Starscream listened to him speak and tried to ignore the way the Wrecker's optics dimmed and the way he began to shake more and more as he spoke.

He didn't know how long he just sat there and listened to Bulkhead tell crazy story after crazy story, each one more ludicrous and stupid than the last.

A while later—he had no clue how much later—Optimus briefly appeared in the doorway to the storage room. He glanced at Bulkhead and Starscream and then smiled before he then walked away and left them alone again.

"And then," Bulkhead said much later on. "And then… Jackie was like 'Why spark bond to a Conjunx when ya can bond to grenades?' and I was like, 'Jackieeee, _no! _'"

Starscream scoffed. "Idiot."

"And then… and then…" Bulkhead's voice grew fainter and he trailed off.

Starscream shook him. "Come on, wake back up. I need to figure out if that idiot blows himself up or not."

Bulkhead's intake opened and closed over and over again.

Starscream felt as if a heavy weight just descended upon his spark. "Bulkhead…"

"Sub…" he began to say.

Starscream leaned in. "Yes? Yes? What happened next?"

"Sub…"

Starscream growled. "Don't say it you fool! Don't say it—"

_"Subspace Log 52… My end is near. I can feel it." _

_"Slag it!" _Starscream swore. "This shouldn't be happening, making you tell stupid stories should be _preserving _your memories, so then why—?"

A pair of servos wrapped around him from behind and Starscream found himself being led away. Bulkhead didn't even notice him leave and just continued to mumble as he stared off into space.

Starscream was pulled into the hall and out of the room. He turned around and scowled up at—

—Optimus and Ratchet.

"Well? Do you have anything to say, Prime?"

Optimus sighed. "I am sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Starscream scoffed.

"I am sorry we did not tell you sooner. But I am especially sorry that there is no cure for this."

Starscream's wing drooped. "No cure," he said flatly.

Optimus shook his helm. "I am deeply sorry. I know that the two of you have been becoming friends lately—"

"What?!" Starscream sputtered. "No, no, not friends, of course not! He's just… I'm just…"

"You are lying to myself."

Starscream bit his lip. "No," he said softly.

Optimus crouched down and looked at him in the optic. "Yes," he said even more softly. "You are. What happened to you on that mission with him?"

"We told you earlier. That little winged rat tried to trick us with some hologram."

"Who was the hologram of?"

"Um. Who was it of?"

Optimus nodded slowly. "Yes. Who was she trying to impersonate?"

—_ It was Skyfire right in front of him in all his glory, his wings, his armor, his paintjob, his warm blue optics, it was Skyfire, all the way down to the tiniest of details _—

"Where did the logs come from?" Optimus said.

Starscream took a deep vent. "They came from—"

His voice broke and he went silent.

_"This cylinder is our secret meant for trusted bots only," _Skyfire had said as he had looked at the cylinder reverently. _"Nobody can ever be allowed to know about it. Who knows what the Council would do with this information?" _

The Council was dead. He'd killed them with his own talons. And here he was, surrounded by the bots he knew he should trust—

Optimus and Ratchet just stared at him.

—and he just couldn't bring himself to trust them.

"I…"

The last time he'd seen that wretched cylinder… No. He couldn't let himself think about that incident.

Ratchet sighed. "Well?"

"You'll have to tell us one day," Ratchet said.

_"My end is near. I can feel it. And I worry that my end will bring about yours…" _Bulkhead droned on. Ratchet stared at him with wide optics.

"Are those his last words, or someone else's?" Ratchet asked.

Bulkhead continued to stare into his space. He moved his servos in circular motions through the air, almost as if he was envisioning himself holding and rubbing somebody close to him.

"They're…" Starscream stuttered. "They're both."

* * *

So close, yet so far. She would have to work harder to bring her plan to fruition. The plan hadn't gone quite as well as she'd hoped. The sight of the traitor's trinemates nearly broke him, but the Wrecker had regained his senses and came to his rescue.

She would have to work on that.

Laserbeak chittered and settled down on the stump of a smoking log that had been rended apart by a stray blaster bolt. Steam hissed up around her scratched wings and energon sluiced down her frame. That was okay, though. The energon wasn't hers. It was the traitor's energon that had sprayed across her frame—she'd waited years to feel it and spent so long dreaming of what it would be like to watch the lifetaker's lifeblood drain from him. She had to wonder no more.

The air shifted and buzzed. Something pulsed on the other end of her bond to her Creator and she reluctantly pried open the bond. A dizzying array of muted emotions stood on the other side of the bond.

Soundwave slinked out of the trees and stood over her. He looked out into the smoking ruins of the ruined river.

He slammed his servos down onto either side of the stump. Laserbeak did not react.

"QUERY?" he asked. He did not need to specify what he was asking. The pent-up fear and anger in his normally calm field did all of the asking for him.

"YOU CAME BACK. I BROUGHT JUSTICE," she chittered out. She liked that word a lot and wanted to use it a lot more. Justice, justice for Ravage, justice for Rumble and Frenzy, justice for_ all _of them.

"NEGATIVE. NEGATIVE. PLAN: FOOLHARDY. TRYING TO REPLICATE MEGATRON'S PLAN… WILL NOT WORK."

Laserbeak swiveled around and her single optic flared with red light. "YOU WERE THERE WHEN OUR LORD'S GRAND PLAN WAS ENACTED. YOU WERE THERE TO WATCH THE TRINE FALL. YOU KNOW THAT THE PLAN COULD WORK AGAIN."

Soundwave said nothing and clenched his thin servos into fists.

"YOU KNOW I CAN DO THIS," Laserbeak hummed. "YOU LIE TO YOURSELF."

Soundwave tilted his helm towards her and narrowed his single visible optic. "PLAN: WILL FAIL. STARSCREAM…"

Laserbeak sensed his hesitation. "PLAN: _WILL WORK AGAIN." _She had her doubts about Megatron, but she had to admit that the warlord could come up with brilliant ideas and that Soundwave could do a brilliant job at executing them. She remembered the day the Grand Plan came to fruition—the day the trine died and Starscream died on the inside. That was a lovely day. The Seeker still had no idea that she and Soundwave helped execute the Grand Plan—or that there even _was _a Grand Plan. The inner workings of the traitor's complex little processor were bared to her. He'd fallen for the holoforms before, so he'd fall for them again.

A disturbing thought entered Laserbeak's processor. "DO YOU FEEL... REGRET FOR WHAT WE DID TO HIM?" she whispered.

Soundwave recoiled. His field hissed static and he leaned in until his faceplate was right in front of her.

_"NEVER." _

"THEN WHY HESITATE?!" she chirped.

Soundwave stood up and stalked off to the other end of the river. Laserbeak took flight and flew after him. She flew around his helm in loops and circled round and round and round.

"DO YOU FEEL REGRET?"

"WE DID WHAT HAD TO BE DONE. TRINE WAS IN THE WAY."

"THEY WERE, THEY WERE OBSTACLES," she hissed. First the trinemates were now the obstacles, and now the Autobots were as well. "DON'T BECOME AN OBSTACLE TOO."

Soundwave's helm shot up to look at her. His servo lashed out and he gently, but firmly grabbed her out of the air and held her in his cupped servos.

"I AM _NO _OBSTACLE."

_"Soundwave!" _Megatron shouted over the comms. Speaking of obstacles…

Soundwave's shoulders drooped and he let Laserbeak perch on his shoulder as he responded to the comm. Normally Soundwave responded immediately, but this time… this time, he hesitated.

_"Have you found your little pet yet?" _Megatron rasped over the end of the comm.

"AFFIRMATIVE."

_"Return to the Nemesis. I wish to have her explain her mayhem. Your worrying better have been worth something." _

Soundwave opened a bridge amongst the smoking ruins of the forest around the river. He turned his helm to look at Laserbeak and his visor flashed hot violet. Laserbeak flashed her own red optic back at him. She was worth something, she was, she _was. _

Soundwave clutched her tightly in his thin servos—was he _shaking? _—as they walked through the groundbridge.

A blast of cold air blew against her frame as Soundwave emerged onto the Nemesis's command bridge. Megatron stood in front of a glowing computer console and his frame cast a sharp shadow down onto Laserbeak and Soundwave below. He tightened his talons and some purple material held within his grasp cracked sharply and fell to the ground in a purple powder.

Megatron turned around and Laserbeak instinctively skittered onto Soundwave's back in fear. She hated it when the warlord was like this, hated the way his optics glowed hot violet and the way his raspy voice was even more hoarse and guttural than usual.

Soundwave turned his helm to regard the dark energon crumbled on the floor. Laserbreak felt his field tighten.

"Oh, the _troubles _you have caused me and my new second, little bird. He searched for you, you know. He searched and searched when he instead should've been searching for the _traitors! _" Megatron growled. His optics glowed hot violet and his frame shuddered as a wave of electric violet lightning raced across his chestplate. He walked behind Soundwave and leaned down until his ugly faceplate was the only thing Laserbeak could see.

"So tell me… what was so worth the chaos?"

Laserbeak chirped in fear. "THE PLAN, MY LORD."

Megatron blinked at her. "The plan?... Oh, the _plan_. What a spectacle that was! You desire to recreate my genius, bird?"

"DESIGNATION: LASERBEAK."

Megatron snarled at her. "I will call you by your name when you earn that right. Until then, you are nothing to me but yet another frame in my way. What makes you think you can recreate the circumstances of the trine's death?"

"THE TRICK IS NOT TO DESTROY STARSCREAM."

Megatron leaned forward and his optics flared. "That is _precisely _the goal, you wretch—!"

"THE TRICK IS TO MAKE STARSCREAM DESTROY _HIMSELF. _"

The warlord's optics widened and he smiled. It was all teeth. He threw his helm back and laughed and laughed and laughed.

"The bird has learned well, it would seem. But what makes you think you can pull this off?"

Laserbeak activated her holoform generator.

"Hello, Megatron," Optimus Prime's voice said.

Megatron snarled and whirled around. Optimus Prime stood up on the steps above him and glared down at him down below.

"You—!" Megatron roared. He fired his fusion cannon and sent a bolt of energy right at Optimus's frame. Optimus had no reaction as the bolt slammed towards him and struck his frame. He vanished in a shimmer of blue light.

Soundwave was completely frozen. He clutched onto Laserbeak and held her tight to his chestplate.

"No… you…" Megatron rasped. He turned around and pointed a talon right at Laserbeak. "You dare to wear the face of my greatest enemy, bird?!"

Now or never. This was the critical moment, the time in which she'd convince Megatron to either give her the go-ahead for her plan, or the moment in which he'd kill her. She activated her holoform generator again.

"I can wear Optimus's face, and so many others!" a new voice said. Megatron turned around and saw Thundercracker standing there with a confident look on his faceplate. His optics shone blood-red in the dim light of the bridge and his frame was smeared with energon—the same energon he had had on his frame when he died.

Megatron frowned. "So you can replicate Thundercracker, but who else?"

She switched holoforms. Thundercracker smiled and vanished in a shimmer of blue light. Skywarp stood in his place and smirked at Megatron.

"Interesting, interesting…" Megatron hummed. "If we are to recreate the circumstances of their deaths, we must confuse Starscream even more though. Who else?"

She was winning, she could do this. She sent a pulse of comfort over her tense bond with her creator and activated her holoform generator again and again.

_"REFRAIN," _Soundwave said over their bond.

Skywarp vanished and Skyfire replaced him. Megatron frowned. The shuttle didn't mean anything to the warlord—not yet. He did not yet understand the shuttle's importance, but he soon would.

Soon.

Skyfire vanished, and then Bumblebee appeared, and then his yellow armor was replaced with green and then Bulkhead appeared in his place.

_"REFRAIN. NOW. NOW!" _Soundwave shouted over their bond.

Megatron hissed and the stench of dark energon floated out of his intake. "Not enough. Not enough!"

Bulkhead vanished and Ratchet appeared, and then he disappeared and Arcee took his place.

"Not enough. Not. _Enough. _" Megatron growled.

Laserbeak chittered. Sparks flew from her frame as she pushed the holoform generator to her limit. Megatron always wanted more, more and more and more, like a greedy little sparkling. She had to impress him, she had to show him a faceplate he hadn't seen in a long time with such detailed accuracy that he would think it to be real. Soundwave sent plead after plead over their bond for her to stop, but she couldn't, not now—once the wheels of vengeance were spun into motion, they could never be stopped.

She generated the frame of the first person she could think of.

Arcee's frame vanished and a new frame took its place.

Megatron's optics widened and his jaw fell. Soundwave forcibly transformed her back into his chestplate and clutched onto her tighter than he had in a hundred years.

"You dare to recreate _his _faceplate?" Megatron roared as he stared at the holoform before him.

Orion Pax stared back.

"FORGIVE HER," Soundwave said. "FORGIVE HER. SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT SHE HAS DONE."

Megatron shakily reached his servos towards the red and blue frame of Orion Pax. His servos passed right through his chestplate and the warlord's faceplate fell in disappointment.

"No, Soundwave… she knows _precisely _what she's done… doesn't she?" Megatron rasped as he turned around to face her.

Mistake. Mistake. The last time he'd had that look on his faceplate was when he had Optimus and Starscream kneeling before him. It was that mad deranged look of somebody who wanted something extremely badly, but knew that they could never have it

Soundwave backed up and clutched onto Laserbeak more tightly. A pair of magenta optics watched from the shadows in the back of the room.

"Do not dare to manipulate me using the image of _his _faceplate!"

"NO MANIPULATION. NO LIES."

"Then why did you show me his face?!"

"TO SHOW YOU WHAT YOU COULD REGAIN."

Megatron just stared at her coldly. "Tread very, _very _carefully." He began to march towards her as he extended his sword. The sharp edge of his blade reflected the violet glow of his dark-energon infused optics.

"DON'T YOU WANT ORION BACK?" Laserbeak trilled.

Megatron stopped his march forward. "What?" he hissed.

Laserbeak hesitantly floated forward. "I CAN LURE THE SEEKER AND THE PRIME IN. I CAN LURE _ALL _OF THEM IN, AND THEN YOU WON'T BE ALONE ANYMORE."

"Do you dare accuse me of being lonely and needing company, like some needy sparkling? The only 'needy' person is Starscream!"

"STARSCREAM NEEDS CLOSURE—WHICH I WILL PREVENT HIM FROM GETTING. HE WILL NEED TO PAY FOR WHAT HE DID IN THE SENATE THAT DAY."

Megatron stood there and breathed heavily. He turned back around and knelt down so that he was optic level with Orion. He shakily reached out and held Orion's neck in his giant talons.

Orion smiled. "It's good to see you again, Megatronus!"

Megatron snapped Orion's neck.

Laserbeak simulated the sound and visuals of a snapped neck and made the holoform of Orion crumple to the floor.

Megatron stared out into space for several silent and tense moments as field roiled and thrashed around him.

"Why should I not kill you, little bird?"

"BECAUSE IF YOU LOSE ME, YOU RISK LOSING SO MUCH_ MORE_ THAN JUST ME."

Megatron activated his fusion cannon and pointed it right at Soundwave. The heat of the violet barrel blasted right over Soundwave and made the air shimmer and waver.

He said nothing and continued to breathe heavily.

Megatron suddenly turned around and slammed both of his servos onto a computer console. It smashed under the blow of his servos and crumpled into a jagged mess of metal and glass.

"Leave my presence. I wish to communicate with my god!" He grabbed ahold of another crystal of dark energon so tightly that it cracked in his grip.

Her plan had not been approved of—but it hadn't been rejected either. That was enough for now.

Laserbeak trilled and flew into the air in happy circles.

Soundwave practically ran out of the room and into the hallway. The sound of Megatron's rage echoed through the ship as he smashed the command bridge apart with his sword. Soundwave walked faster and faster until the sound of the angry warlord was a distant roar in the distance.

"ARE YOU NOT PROUD, CREATOR?" Laserbreak trilled.

He walked faster.

"ARE YOU NOT PLEASED WITH YOUR CREATION?"

He ignored her.

"ARE YOU NOT CONFIDENT IN MY ABILITIES? I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO MAKE ME LOSE THIS NEW MISSION—"

Soundwave grabbed her out of the air and held her up in front of his faceplate. Laserbeak tried to squirm out of his grasp, but Soundwave just held her tighter.

"SOUNDWAVE: CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE ANOTHER CASSETICON. CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE _YOU. _"

Laserbeak stilled and her protests died in her intake.

Soundwave continued. "RAVAGE TRIED TO DO THE SAME AS YOU DO NOW."

She said nothing. Laserbeak trilled and Soundwave tucked her close to his chestplate and just held her.

A thin and spindly silhouette curled up in the corner of the ceiling. Airachnid watched Soundwave and Laserbeak down below.

She smiled.

* * *

Starscream winced as Ratchet patched his wings. Optimus sat beside him on the berth and winced whenever a new rivulet of energon bled from one of the scratches.

"Don't…" Starscream sighed. "Don't do that!"

"Do what?" Optimus asked.

Starscream waved his servo around. "Y'know, _that _! That thing you do where you look all sad and concerned."

"Do you not like it when people are concerned for your wellbeing?"

"Well, I, er—"

"There is no shame in admitting that you like it when people are worried for you."

Starscream shifted away from Optimus and offlined his optics. "Why are you telling me this? And why now?" he asked softly.

"Because I am concerned for you. We all are."

Ratchet sighed. "Starscream, the reason we didn't tell you was because—"

"I don't want to hear it. Just patch my wing already!" Starscream snapped. He only had one wing left and could not afford to allow anymore harm to happen to it. A shudder coursed through his frame at the thought of losing his other wing. The lack of the sky was beginning to grate upon him and it was only a matter of time before the concrete walls of the base would overwhelm him completely.

Bulkhead's voice echoed through the medbay. _"And my end will bring about yours, yours, yours—" _

"Will he ever stop that?" Ratchet grumbled.

"Only if you fix him!"

Starscream felt Ratchet go still behind him.

"I don't… Starscream, I will try, but the processor is a complex machine! I… I will try."

"No, of course you don't know what's going on! How usual. I mean, can't you just delete the intrusive data?" Starscream asked as he shot up from the berth.

Ratchet scoffed. "And risk deleting his entire _processor? _No."

The Autobots just had to be overreacting, right? Surely Bulkhead was not going to lose all of his memories? Starscream pressed his mouth into a thin line and tried not to think about what that could entail.

If Bulkhead lost his memories—

No. He wouldn't go down that path.

"Good. It is best not to dwell on such things," Optimus nodded.

"Gah! Did I say that out loud?" Starscream sputtered.

"You say many things," Optimus said softly.

"I mean, not all of him will be gone… right?"

Optimus sighed. "Yes. He will be gone, all of him. His memories—"

_"Just let me hold you, Screamer," _Bulkhead's voice echoed in his helm. The Wrecker had held him so tight to his chestplate on that awful night.

Starscream's spark lurched. Bulkhead won't remember holding him.

"His personality—"

He won't remember joking with him or calling him Screamer.

"His thoughts—"

The only thing he'd be able to think about anymore would be that Primus-forsaken series of logs. No more stupid Seeker puns, no more weird observations, no more _Bulkhead. _

"Are you done with the patches?" Starscream grit out with a strained voice.

Ratchet sighed. "Yes, now I am just—"

Starscream shot to his pedes and ran from the medbay. He heard Optimus and Ratchet yell after him, but he couldn't possibly spend another moment with them. Their pitying stares and quiet and mournful fields smothered the air and made him feel even more claustrophobic. Starscream leaned against the wall in one of the halls and slowly slid down to the floor.

He just needed a moment free from warlords and the ghostly images of dead mechs and pitying stares and—

Heavy pedesteps stomped across the floor.

Starscream froze. It wasn't Megatron, it could not possibly be Megatron—yet there was still some part of him that jolted in terror whenever a heavy pede struck the ground—those heavy pedes had struck his frame so many times before.

Bulkhead walked down the hall and looked down at the Seeker in surprise.

Starscream jumped to his pedes. He couldn't afford to show weakness. "Bulkhead—"

Bulkhead suddenly leaned in forward and pressed his warm forehelm to Starscream's cold one. He let out a breath across the Seeker's faceplate and his entire field pulsed with warmth and grief.

_"In the event that I die, I have constructed one last log for you, one final message, to warn you and guide in the event that the Council claims my spark—" _

"Don't talk like that!" Starscream snapped. He pushed his talons out against Bulkhead's chestplate, but the Wrecker didn't budge an inch. He just moved in closer and held Starscream's bruised and scratched frame even closer to his green armor. _"I worry. I worry and worry and worry." _

The sound of more pedesteps sounded into the air. Starscream opened his optics—when had he closed them?—and saw the rest of the Autobots down in the hall. They watched him with wide optics as a strange emotion Starscream could not identify tangled in their fields.

"Together, forever," Bulkhead whispered as he stared deeply into space.

The Autobot's fields pulsed and Starscream's spark sank. Oh, he knew that emotion.

The hot stench of _pity _hung in the air.

"You do not have to watch this happen," Optimus said softly. "You do not have to listen to him constantly repeat his final words. You can say goodbye to him… let your last memories of the old him be of him when he was still whole and not—"

"Rotting away?!" Starscream shrieked. He kicked Bulkhead away and stumbled backwards. "I'm sick of this! You all think I'm just a ticking time bomb, don't you?"

Optimus sighed heavily. "Starscream?"

"Don't you?" he whispered. Optimus looked up at him and dipped his helm.

"I can't believe this," Starscream scoffed. "Why are you so worried? Are you scared I'll lose my mind if Bulkhead loses his?"

_"That's not why we hid his condition from you, Starscream," _Bumblebee beeped. Arcee said nothing and stood in the back of the hall, yet even her field also pulsed with a faint note of pity.

"It is not your fault that the formula of the Ancients is doing this to him," Optimus said.

Arcee growled. "If I could find the bots who made that cylinder…" she said as a dark look crossed over her faceplate.

"Do you remember… when we finished the formula together, Star?" Bulkhead whispered so softly that only Starscream heard it.

"I did that with Skyfire," Starscream whispered back.

Optimus watched them both with wide optics, but neither of them noticed.

"Do you remember, Starscream, our long and quiet nights together?" Bulkhead laughed loudly. The rest of the Autobots helms shot up and they looked at Bulkhead.

Starscream froze. "Um, Bulkhead?"

"Just you, me, and science!" he laughed.

"You weren't there!" Starscream scoffed.

"Oh, but don't you remember? I was, Starscream, I was there, the three of us—you, me, and the Ancients."

Optimus stepped forward. "Starscream?"

Starscream stood there and stared at Bulkhead with wide optics. He was completely deaf to the world around him as he stared right at Bulkhead's bright blue optics, the same blue optics Skyfire had had before he—

* * *

_The vast expanse of ice stretched before them. _

_The harsh cold wind bit and blew into their frames, but they needed to keep walking onwards. Energon trickled down from the welded scratches on Starscream's wings. Skyfire's large wings continued to flutter nervously behind him as the two of them walked across the icy barren wasteland. _

_"Keep going, Star," he rasped, but Skyfire sounded as if he was trying to reassure himself as well. _

_"Do you ever consider just smashing the thing?" Starscream said. He glared at the cylinder and growled. This wretched machine contained what was needed to make Cybertron great again—and it had to remain hidden, it had to be locked away deep in the ice because the even more wretched mechs who ran Cybertron wouldn't allow it help their world. _

_"Starscream, how could you say that?" Skyfire gasped. The wind blew harder and sent a white flurry of snow into the air and over his frame. Starscream could only see Skyfire's faint silhouette through the snow. He reached out and tightly held onto Skyfire's icy servo. A wave of relief washed through his aching frame. He had Skyfire with him. Good. He needed to keep an optic on him, it would be easy to lose the shuttle amidst the blizzard. But he'd be careful, he'd keep watch over Skyfire and would assure that they stay together. _

_"Star, I worry about what will happen to you when I'm not here. My end is near. I can feel it. " _

_Starscream tightened his grip on the shuttle's servo. The wind was picking up now. That was strange. _

_"Is it me, or is it getting… colder?" Starscream said. He raised his arm to protect his faceplate from the harsh icy gale. Skyfire peered into the oncoming blizzard and his optics widened. _

_"What? What do you see? Do you see something my optics don't?" Starscream asked. _

_Skyfire took a deep shuddering vent and said nothing. He merely tightened his grip on Starscream's tiny talon and began to shake. _

_"Sky—" _

_The shuttle suddenly knelt to the ground. An enormous pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and he felt his frame get pushed up against the curves of interstellar-grade armor. Starscream let out a high-pitched keen and sank into Skyfire's hug. _

_"This is… nice, but this is sudden. Sky?" Starscream whimpered into the folds of Skyfire's armor. _

_The shuttle's field shuddered around the both of them. "I need you to be strong for me, Star. Okay? I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

_"Don't… don't be like that." _

_Skyfire looked up into the stars. The growing blizzard unleashed a flurry of snow into the air that made it hard to make out the stars above. The snowy clouds parted and for a split second, a thousand stars shone above their helms. _

_"Remember…" Skyfire coughed. "Remember which one is Cybertron?" _

_"We can't see Cybertron, silly! It's too dim." _

_"Not if you look really hard, Starscream. Really, really, hard. Look for me, Star. If I don't make it—" _

_"You will make it, you will, slag it!" Starscream swore. _

_"—then you need to know which one is Cybertron. Point to it." _

_Starscream sighed. Skyfire was being far too melodramatic. He didn't need to know where Cybertron was located in the sky because the shuttle could easily use his nav-computer to get them back to Cybertron for them. The only scenario in which he'd have to know where Cybertron was would be if he was headed back to their homeworld alone. That was preposterous. He'd _never _leave Skyfire behind, ever. _

_He opened his intake to protest, but froze at the sight of Skyfire's faceplate. It was hard to see through the whirling snow, but he swore he could see the faint outline of coolant beneath Skyfire's bright blue optics. Skyfire's optics shone bluer than he had ever seen before. _

_Starscream reached his arm up and into the sky and pointed one of his digits at a faint cluster of bright blue stars. _

_Skyfire wiped the snow off of Starscream's arm and held tightly onto his upraised arm. "Good. You found it. Now look at it, remember it—" _

_"Stop freaking out!" _

_" _— _and _remember, _Starscream. Remember where it is because I might not be there to remember it for you." _

_He clutched tightly onto Starscream's arm and kept it pointed right at the stars above. Starscream took a vent and let out a shaky nod. Another harsh gale of wind blew out of the sky and drove ice into their frames. _

_"Relax, Sky. We'll just scout this area out, see if this is a good place to hide the cylinder, and then we'll be back at the Academy in no time!" _

_Skyfire nodded and looked up at the stars. A snowy cloud blew in and hid where Cybertron was. _

_"Then let's go. I've got the cylinder in my cargo bay." _

_Starscream grabbed ahold of Skyfire's frozen servo and led him into the blizzard. This storm was nothing to them. They've flown through much worse storms before. They could weather any storm. _

_The two of them walked off into the cold dark night with a thousand stars above their helms. Everything would be fine. _

* * *

Starscream blinked sluggishly and came back to awareness. The Autobots all stood around him and argued with one another as Bulkhead muttered on and on.

"Oh, Stascream," he moaned.

"Well, there has to be _something _you can do!" Arcee snapped at Ratchet.

He grabbed a wrench and waved it at her. "I'm trying my hardest!"

_"C'mon Bulk, I know you're in there!" _Bumblebee beeped as he waved his servos in front of Bulkhead's faceplate.

Optimus stood off to the side of the room and just stared at Starscream as his team fought around him. The Prime's field pulsed in grief and for a split second, he and Starscream made optic contact.

The Prime knew.

He wasn't entirely sure how, but Starscream somehow knew deep in his spark that the Prime was aware of his past with the formula.

The two of them just stared at each other for several moments. Optimus looked away from Starscream and glanced at Bulkhead before he then looked back at Starscream.

He'd lost Skyfire to the crushing ice and cold—he couldn't afford to lose Bulkhead to the crushing weight of Skyfire's dead last words.

"It's my formula!" Starscream shouted.

Everybody stopped and stared at Starscream.

"What was that?" Ratchet said with wide optics.

Starscream let out a heavy vent and clenched his talons into fists. "You know what I said."

"How could it possibly be yours?! It's the Ancient's formula!" Ratchet said. Optimus just looked back and forth between Ratchet and Starscream with a frown.

"The Ancients _started _the formula, yes, but I _finished _it."

"You? A scientist?" Ratchet sputtered. The other Autobots looked surprised.

Starscream offlined his optics. He'd tried so very hard and for so very long to bury down that scientific part of himself. Megatron had taught him that he was good as a soldier of war and as nothing more. But maybe…

He took a deep vent.

Maybe…

"Yes. I was a _scientist. _"

Maybe he could be good as a scientist again.

Bulkhead painted an equation onto a slab of metal in front of him. Starscream sighed and grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's wrist with shaking servos.

"B-but… Subspace Log 52, 52, 52—"

"Slag it, Bulkhead, you already recited that log to me, okay? I…" His talons clenched tightly around Bulkhead's servos. "You have _all _of Skyfire's logs in your processor, correct?"

"C-correct…"

Starscream gulped. "Which means… you remember Log 15, right?"

Bulkhead stared into space with wide optics. "Yes, yes indeed, but I already recited that one—"

"Recite it again."

"W-what?"

Arcee leaned over and hissed to Ratchet. "What is he _doing? _"

Ratchet just shook his helm. "I… I don't know. I've never seen Starscream look that concerned for Bulkhead before."

Starscream flared his wing and began to tilt over and Bulkhead caught him.

"See, Wrecker?" Starscream said. "You caught me. Remember how Skyfire caught me? Remember what he said to me that day?"

Bulkhead tilted his helm forward and pressed his forehelm to Starscream's. If Starscream offlined his optics, then he could almost pretend that he was pressing his helm to Skyfire's and not Bulkhead's. Almost.

Bulkhead took a deep vent and began to speak with Skyfire's accent. _"Starscream, we will finish the formula together. It will be the work of both of our servos." _

Starscream picked up a paint brush and began to paint numbers onto the metal slab.

Bulkhead looked at Starscream with wide optics. _"It will be our tandem masterpiece and we will complete it, trust me! It will be _ours. _We will remember this formula—" _

Bulkhead picked up a paintbrush and began to paint numbers onto the slab alongside Starscream. Both of their paintbrushes whirled around each other and both of their formulas complemented and flowed alongside one another.

Starscream looked up at Bulkhead and smiled sadly. "We will remember this formula forever and ever."

He looked over his shoulder at the shocked Autobots behind him. "If I help Bulkhead complete the formula, then he won't have to complete it all by himself. If I finish the second half of the formula for him—"

"_ — _then the second half of the formula might not take over his processor," Ratchet breathed.

Starscream nodded. He picked up his paintbrush and continued to write more equations. He could do this, he could. He used to do stuff like this all day every day in the old days before the war, before Megatron, even before his trinemates. He was so used to using his talons to kill bots, he wasn't sure if he could use them to create anything anymore.

_"Listen to me, Star," _Bumblebee said. He leaned over Starscream's shoulder and placed a comforting servo on his pauldron. For once, Starscream didn't flinch. _"You can do so much more than destroy, I know you can!" _

Starscream bit his lip and kept shakily painting new equations. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

_"Um…" _

He sighed. "I already know the answer. I just—"

His hold on his paintbrush wavered and it clattered to the ground. Starscream hurriedly snatched it back up again and went back to smearing paint on the slab. "I just… I don't think I can create anything anymore."

Optimus knelt down until they were optic-level. "Starscream, you _are _capable of creation. You created a new and better version of yourself. If you could do that, then you are capable of recreating yourself as a scientist and finishing this formula."

_"Subspace Log 47…. Subspace Log 47…" _Bulkhead muttered over and over again.

"I don't know if this will work!"

"Maybe it will work," Optimus said. "But maybe it won't. Maybe helping finish the formula will rid Bulkhead's processor of the urge to force it all out of him and will save his processor. Maybe it will fail and the data will erode his processor and he will write out the entire formula anyway. But even if you do fail, I want you to know that I'll be proud of you for trying to save your friend anyway."

Starscream bit his lip. "Well, he's not my friend, er, he's just an acquaintance, really."

"Hmmm." Optimus hummed as he looked down at Starscream. "I suppose you are right."

Starscream sighed. "Thank you!" He couldn't afford to go around slapping the friend label onto every bot who was nice to him. Every single one of his friendships ended in bitter failure. He couldn't have a repeat of what happened to his trinemates.

On the other hand, Bulkhead had been very nice to him, and he had treated him with respect…

"Bulkhead is not really your friend," Optimus said.

Starscream nodded. "Yes, yes, that label is _far _too strong—"

"It seems to me he is becoming more like your _brother _."

Starscream's talon spasmed and his paintbrush clattered onto the ground. _"What?!" _

Optimus just smiled. "I speak the truth."

"I… oh, shoo, shoo! Now isn't the time for big emotional chats. Now is the time for _science _."

Optimus nodded and he and the rest of the Autobots stood up and left the room.

_"Subspace Log 47…. Subspace Log 47…" _Bulkhead continued to shake and mutter.

"I hear you, Wrecker, I hear you. Don't tell me anymore of Skyfire's stories for tonight."

"W-what?"

Starscream picked up his paintbrush and finished up an equation Bulkhead had begun to write. "Tell me more about _your _stories. You said that this… 'Wheeljack' mech did some more stupid, yet also entertaining things?"

Bulkhead looked at him with wide optics. "O-oh, um, yeah. So Jackie ran up to me one day…"

* * *

"Just carry the one and… no, wait, that's wrong, slag it all Just one more equation, come on, come on—"

Starscream sighed and fell forward with a thunk. His wrist ached from painting so much and his optics blurred. Bulkhead wrote out the equation on a slab near him. All he wanted to do was just shut his optics and pretend that this awful day never happened.

"Wrecker, are you done—-?"

Starscream abruptly stopped speaking. He turned around and looked at all of the equations he and Bulkhead had just spent hours writing down.

"What… what did you _do _?" he gasped.

"Subspace Log 23. Subspace Log 27—"

All of the formulas for the synthetic energon were completely painted over with blue paint. Vosian and Iaconian script looped and whirled over the equations. Bulkhead looked up at him, his faceplate smeared over with blue paint, and smiled.

"I'm writing, Star," he said. He picked up his blue paintbrush and went back to work.

"No, what are you doing?! You drew right over it all! The equations, you ruined so many of them!" Starscream shrieked as he ripped the paintbrush out of Bulkhead's servo. "Do you understand what you've done?!"

"These are my final messages, my final words to you so that when the Council claims my life..." His entire frame shuddered and he shot to his pedes. He grabbed Starscream and whirled the Seeker around in the air. "...so that you can hear my final words, my absolute final message, and—"

"No!" Starscream shouted. He pulled himself out of Bulkhead's grasp and stumbled backwards into the paint cans. He watched in horror as they tipped over and spilt a huge puddle of blue paint over even more of the equations.

"No, no, slag it!" Starscream shouted as he knelt down and tried to wipe away the blue paint. All he ended up doing was smearing it more. He looked down at a white and blue mess of equations mingled with the final words of a dead mech.

Bulkhead placed his servo upon Starscream's shoulder as the Seeker began to shake. "Look," he whispered.

Starscream clenched his talons into fists. "I'm trying to _save _you! How can I complete the equation and get it to stop taking over your processor if you keep undoing my work?!"

"No, look," Bulkhead said as he pointed at something across the room. "It's us!"

Starscream followed his gaze and felt his spark drop into his tank. A blurry and smeared painting of two silhouettes was splattered onto a massive metal plate. The unmistakable silhouettes of a Seeker and a shuttle covered the entire plate.

"No, Bulkhead, what did you do?"

"That's us, Starscream! Don't you recognize us?" Bulkhead asked. His faceplate fell in disappointment and Starscream felt a twinge of hurt flare up in both of their field's.

"Don't you recognize _yourself, _Bulkhead?"

He turned the Wrecker's helm so that he was looking at him, but all Bulkhead did was just stare into space with a thousand-mile stare.

"Oh, Starscreammmm," Bukhead sighed as he gently held Starscream's helm.

Starscream offlined his optics and tried to quell the anger he felt rising within him. He wasn't sure who he was angry at—Megatron, Skyfire, Bulkhead, the world—or maybe even at himself.

He walked over to the painting of the two of them and smeared the painting of Skyfire. "That's not you, you imbecile," he muttered as he grabbed the paintbrush. If Bulkhead couldn't remember his own face, then Starscream would just have to help him remember it. If Bulkhead couldn't remember his own designation, then Starscream would tell it to him. He'd help Bulkhead to remember whatever it is that he needed to remember.

Starscream smattered some more paint onto the wall until it vaguely resembled the Wrecker. He grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's helm and turned it so that he could see the painting. "See?!" Starscream laughed bitterly. "That's you, that's _you— _"

Bulkhead suddenly reached up and wiped all of the paint off. The painting of Bulkhead was now gone and now only the lone painting of Starscream remained.

"No. Not me."

Starscream felt something within him snap. He grabbed onto the metal plate that the painting was on and he rammed the spike of his knee right into the bottom of it. The metal plate parted into two pieces with a metallic screech and crumbled into jagged shards all around him. They fell down and nicked Starscream's legs. He stood there and breathed heavily as beads of energon welled up from the dozens of new scratches all over his legs.

The painting of Starscream was shattered into pieces. He was shattered, completely and utterly broken.

Bulkhead sighed. _"Oh, you're broken, Starscream. I can see the way the discrimination is affecting you. One day the Council will be struck down—" _

"I personally killed them all myself!" Starscream shouted. "Every single one of them in the Senate, even bots I shouldn't have killed!" He stomped over to the corner of the room and picked up the white paintbrush again. If he was quick then he could fix the ruined equations.

Heavy pedesteps shuffled up to him.

"Star—"

"No."

"But Starscream—"

"I said _no. _"

"Oh, Starscream—"

"What part of _no _do you not understand?!" Starscream shouted in Bulkhead's faceplate.

The Wrecker flinched back.

Instant guilt flooded Starscream's spark. "Okay, no, that's not… that's not what I meant to… oh, slag!"

An alarm blared through the base.

"I can't keep being so _reliant _on you!" Starscream shouted into Bulkhead's faceplate.

Starscream's wing shot up and he looked around. Bulkhead completely ignored the alarm as he stared off into space.

"I have one final message for you, Starscream," he mumbled as red emergency lights turned on and lit up the entire room in a blood-red glow. "One final log for you to look at. I think the Council is watching us, so I dare not tell you what I think will happen right here and right now... instead, I'll keep my final warning on the cylinder, so don't lose it—!"

He wanted Bulkhead to just shut up so badly. Every last word of Skyfire dug itself into Starscream's spark and made so much hurt and nostalgia well up within him all at once. He had to stop this awful habit of clinging onto the mechs who cared for him. First it was Skyfire, then Megatronus, then Optimus, and now Bulkhead—and all of them were now dead, insane, or probably going to die. And one of them was dying much more quickly than all of the others.

He was capable of controlling the entire Decepticon army by himself for years, yet he couldn't even control his own emotions.

_"Worthless," _Megatron's voice whispered. _"Pathetic." _

"I'm not… I'm not…" Starscream whimpered as he backed up into the wall.

Optimus appeared in the doorway.

"Prime! What's wrong?"

When Optimus looked at Starscream a grim expression crossed over his faceplate. "It is best that you two stay in here."

"Why, what's the problem?" Starscream asked.

_"My end will bring about yours—" _Bulkhead moaned.

"Your assistance is not required in this situation and I fear that if you attempted to help, you would just grow more distressed," Optimus said.

_"Worthless," _Megatron's voice whispered. _"Pathetic." _

Starscream's wing flared. "I won't be ignored—!"

Optimus shut the door.

Starscream's jaw dropped and he stared at the back of the door's smooth metal surface.

Another painting of him and Skyfire was smeared onto the back of it.

* * *

Optimus looked up from his datapad as the alarm blared. That specific kind of alarm was meant to warn of one certain mech in particular.

He put the datapad down and walked through the halls of the base so that he could see what his lost brother wanted. Light shone out from the open room Starscream and Bulkhead were in. He looked inside and his spark sank.

"I can't keep being so _reliant _on you!" he heard Starscream shout.

Optimus leaned his forehelm against the cold surface of the wall beside the doorway and let out a deep and heavy sigh. He could feel the stress and anxiety in the edges of the Seeker's frazzled EM field all the way out in the hallway. If Starscream knew of who was hailing them—

He could not afford to lose Starscream to insanity the same way he had lost Megatron. He wanted to just walk in there and comfort the Seeker, but he knew that he was not the right mech for the job. The only mech who could still possibly comfort the Seeker was the very reason Starscream even needed to be comforted in the first place.

Starscream whirled around and his optics widened. "Prime! What's wrong?" His legs were covered in nicks and scratches. He didn't even seem to notice. Did he not feel the pain anymore? Had he gotten so used to the abuse that he just stopped feeling much of the pain that came with it?

Starscream could _not _be allowed to know that his abuser was calling them all.

"It is best that you two stay in here," Optimus said.

"Why, what's the problem?" Starscream asked.

_Your abuser is the problem. Skyfire is the problem. I am the problem for failing to save you when I had the chance all those years ago— _

_"My end will bring about yours..." _Bulkhead moaned.

Optimus sighed. "Your assistance is not required in this situation—"

Starscream's optics widened with hurt and betrayal, the same way Megatronus's optics had widened when he spoke against him in the Senate, the same way Elita's had widened after he had told her what he needed to do.

"—and I fear that if you attempted to help, you would just grow more distressed."

_"Optimus, he's getting impatient!" _Ratchet shouted over the comms.

Starscream's field flared out in a frenzy of static and anxiety. "I won't be ignored—!"

Optimus shut the door and briskly walked down the hall. He tried to push down his uncertainty about whether he had made the right choice to not involve the Seeker.

"Megatron is calling us," Ratchet said grimly as Optimus walked into the main room.

"What does that slagger want now?" Arcee growled.

Bumblebee squinted at the screen. _"He's talking about… returning his property?" _

"What?!" Ratchet shouted.

Optimus sighed heavily. "Autobots… we must answer his call."


	16. Please Remember

Starscream knelt in the spilt paint and jagged shards. The scattered and fragmented remains of equations completely covered the room. Bulkhead continued to mutter on as he walked around as if he were in a lab, examining and inspecting non-existent screens and making comments on non-existent experiments.

"This… this was all supposed to help you," Starscream hissed. Finishing the equation for Bulkhead was supposed to cure the Wrecker, not plunge him even further into his dissociated fantasy.

Starscream used to always have a plan. Some kind of scheme to put into place, some course of action, something, _anything— _

But whenever he looked up at Bulkhead, his processor went blank. For one of the first times in his life, he had no clue what to say or do to fix this. No amount of begging or pleading would bring Bulkhead back. Unlike so many of his past problems, he could not fix them by pleading for help.

There was no one left to plead to.

He groaned and rested the back of his helm against the cold metal door. Optimus didn't want him. He replayed the memory of the distraught Prime shutting the door in his faceplate and pretended to not feel a twinge of pain. It was perfectly reasonable that the Autobots didn't want him. Starscream laughed bitterly as Bulkhead continued to shuffle around through the ruined equations and blue paint splattered everywhere. If he squinted, the spilt blue paint didn't look like paint—it looked like spilt energon, like hot acidic blue blood spilt everywhere.

Starscream's frame jolted. If the paint truly _was _blood, then it would not even be a fraction of the blood he'd spilt over the course of the entire war.

He was not wanted. Optimus and the Autobots thought him to be weak—he was not weak! Starscream growled and kicked the wall. He was not weak, he was _not. _

_"Oh, Starscream, oh Starscream," _Bulkhead whispered over and over again.

So then why did he feel so weak whenever he looked at Bulkhead?

_"What does that slagger want now?" _Arcee's voice echoed.

_"Megatron's talking about… returning his property?" _Bumblebee beeped.

_"What?!" _Ratchet shouted.

Their voices drifted down the hall and through a narrow crack beneath the metal door. A sense of dread settled in Starscream's tank. He was not wanted in the main room. They did not want him to know what was going on. He just needed to ignore the voices, ignore the meeting he was unwanted at, and just step away from the door.

Starscream tightened his struts and prepared to get up and walk away.

He heard Optimus sigh heavily. _"Autobots… we must answer his call." _

Starscream's frame locked up. No. No.

No.

It couldn't be him, not so soon. He had just escaped Megatron and now the warlord was already re-entering his life—

Optimus's voice drifted through the crack next. _"Megatron is in possession of the data cylinder. If we could somehow get it back from him—" _

_"—then we could maybe get the data to exit Bulkhead's helm and re-enter the cylinder," _Ratchet finished.

A sense of hope tingled within Starscream's struts.

_"I should not have to ask you to give me that which I rightfully deserve!" _Megatron's voice shouted. He was calling the base, and now the Autobots were _talking _to him. Starscream froze and felt indecision rise up within his helm—he wanted to run into the main room and punch the computer so Megatron could never call ever again, but another part of him wanted to run in the opposite direction and hide in the shadows forever.

_"And what would that be?" _Starscream heard Optimus ask.

_"Everything. The Primehood, Starscream, the formula, the logs—" _

_"How did you find out about the logs?" _

He knew. Megatron somehow _knew. _Whenever the warlord knew something that Starscream didn't, he would always get a cold and cruel glint of malice in his blood-red optics. He could see Megatron's arrogant faceplace in his imagination, a sneer on his faceplates as he leered down at Starscream and lorded over him—

_"How could I not? The Wrecker prattled on about them nonstop," _Megatron scoffed. _"Tell me, with whose voice does he speak? His own, or that of a dead mech's?" _

_"What is the point of all this, Megatron?" _Optimus asked.

_"Is a brother not allowed to make house calls—?" _

_"Do not tread there, Megatron," _Optimus said. Starscream did not need to be able to see the Prime to know that Optimus's entire frame was now tensed up. _"That word is dead to me." _

For a moment there was silence. Starscream increased the sensitivity of his audials. He knew that he should not eavesdrop, no, but he couldn't help but listen anyway.

_"Oh!" _Megatron laughed. His laughter sounded like the screech of metal being shredded apart. _"Oh, Optimus, we were brothers once, yes, and we still are and still always will be. But you are no longer my main brother. This 'house call' was not meant for you—" _

Starscream froze. No. No. _No. _

Bulkhead ran over to the Seeker and held Starscream as he began to shake harder. He clutched the Seeker close to his green armor and stroked his wing as he continued to ramble off logs.

"My end will bring about yours, his end will bring about yours—"

_"This call is not for you…" _Megatron began. _"I wish to speak to my other brother. The smaller one. The lesser one. The one who _escaped _." _

Starscream tried to run away from the door and away from the warlord's voice, but Bulkhead's grip was too tight. He screamed into Bulkhead's armor and held his forehelm up against the Wrecker's dirtied plating. He clutched onto Bulkhead's armor so tightly that his talons left tiny scratches behind in the green paint.

_"I am calling for Starscream. Put the Seeker on the line." _

Two heavy pedesteps stomped through the base as Optimus stomped over to the computer console. _"I will never put Starscream before you ever again, whether it be the comm line or the line of battle. I will not allow you to harm Starscream any longer—I will not allow him to even hear your voice ever again." _

Starscream slapped his servos over his audials, but the warlord's voice still drifted through them and into his helm. He wanted to hear every word, but at the same time he wanted to hear none of them. Megatron laughed and laughed and laughed. _"Far too late for that, Prime. He hears my voice in his helm both day and night—I know this very well. I am a part of him and he is a part of me." _

Ratchet scoffed. _"Did you call just to monologue, or do you actually want something from us?!" _

_"I remember you, Ratchet," _Megatron purred. That was the same tone of voice the warlord used whenever he tried to teach Starscream the ways of the world—the tone of voice he used when he told Starscream that in order to stop feeling pain, he needed to _inflict _pain. _"Starscream is a patient you will not be able to save. But fine then, if you insist on getting right to business... give me the data. Now." _

_"You don't deserve it," _Ratchet snapped.

Starscream burst free of Bulkhead's grip and ran to the other side of the room and as far away from the door and the wretched voices as possible. He pictured himself in the sky, high and cold and free, away from this dusty base, away from Earth—but even more importantly, away from Megatron and his malice-filled voice.

_"I deserve to have the entire universe," _Megatron breathed.

"The universe is ours to explore, Starscream," Bulkhead whispered as he grabbed a paintbrush and began to paint something new onto the floor.

Starscream grit his dentae. He was physically there in that room, but he did not have to be _mentally _there. He offlined his optics and pictured himself flying even faster, flying flying flying—

_"But most importantly, I deserve to have _him! _" _Megatron shouted. His shout echoed through the entire base and made the paint in a nearby paintcan shudder a bit.

He was flying, flying flying flying—

_"I will not hand Starscream over to your talons. I made the mistake of letting him fall into your clutches all those years ago—a mistake I will not repeat..." _Optimus said.

"Oh, Starscream," Bulkhead whispered softly.

Starscream froze. What did the Prime mean by that?

Megatron laughed. _"No, you won't, which is why when the time comes, I will take him by force. Why keep him around? He is nothing without me, nothing!" _

He was flying, flying and flying—

_"I will rip the Seeker out of the sky if I must!" _

He was flying, now he was falling. The peaceful image of the high and cold and blue sky turned blood-red and now Megatron was trying to grab him, was reaching for him—

A wave of dizziness struck Starscream and he fell to his knees. Bulkhead knelt in front of him and held Starscream's helm in his paint-covered servos. Everything was blue, the color of blood, the paint was blue, Bulkhead's optics were blue, the lights were blue, _the color of blood. _

The cold and familiar chill of panic inundated his struts as he began to shake harder and harder. He felt as if he were floating and was far far away from the base, somewhere far away in a sky as blue as blood with Megatron leering at him and laughing at him and—

_"He is mine. His spark is mine. His plating is mine. His mesh is mine, his blood is mine, his _mind _is mine!" _Megatron shouted.

"The only thing that you own, Megatron—" Optimus began to say. Starscream's wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a faint growl in the back of the Prime's throat.

_" _— _is Starscream!" _Megatron finished.

_"No," _Optimus said slowly and coldly. " _The only thing you truly own is your responsibility for your crimes. _

_"Starscream needs me, Prime," _Megatron rasped.

_"He has the potential to become something amazing—but only without you in his life." _

_"I saw the way he looked at that Wrecker!" _Megatron snapped.

He was going to die. Starscream felt an all-encompassing dread spread through his frame. He was going to die and at Megatrons's servos, the warlord would find a way to kill him, he'd find the base any moment now and he would _kill _him, he was going to _die— _

"Flying. Dying," Bulkhead whispered. He tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's frame and held the Seeker tight. "Flying. Dying."

He felt as if his frame had been drenched into an ice cold vat. He felt cold, colder than he had ever felt before, and as he sat there and shook and cried he wondered—is this what Skyfire had felt like?

_"That was the same way he had looked at his trinemates," _Megatron mused. _"The same way he used to look at _me _. I am tempted to let the data rot the Wrecker's brain away so that it will also rot the Seeker's spark away. I am so very very tempted…" _

_"Take the data," _Optimus said tightly. _"Take. It." _

_"In due time. His processor must be nearly entirely gone, yes? I suppose Starscream helped with that…" _

_"I grow tired of your nonsense, Megatron," _Optimus sighed.

Starscream looked up at Bulkhead with wide optics. "Is this my fault? Is it my fault your processor is r-rotting away? I encouraged you to keep reciting the logs, I told you to keep reciting them, I told you and told you, over and over again to keep reciting, and now look!" Starscream shook out. A wave of lightheadedness struck his frame and he tilted forward and into Bulkhead's arms.

This was all _his _fault.

_"Starscream ruins all that he touches—Vos, his trinemates, you, himself—he is his own greatest weakness. Do you seriously think the wretch will allow you to purge the Wrecker of the precious data? If the data vanishes, then so do all those precious last words… all those long lost logs of a dead meach." _

_"How do you know about that? Do you know the mech whose voice has taken over Bulkhead's?" _Optimus asked.

_"That does not matter. What matters is that I know the Seeker better than he even knows himself. He will never be able to let go, never—" _

"Let go, Starscream," Bulkhead whispered. "Let _go. _"

Starscream curled up into a small ball. "A-are you Skyfire or Bulkhead right now?"

The green mech was silent for a moment. His optics lit up and shined blue.

"Both."

_"He is far too clingy, too overaliant, too zealous—it is all rather amusing!" _Megatron sighed. _"When he loves something, he grows to love it so much that he will destroy everything to protect it—ironically, that is how he ended up destroying the things he loved most in his life. His own servo moves against himself. He defines himself by the things he loves. Without those things, he is worthless and has no meaning!" _

_"Starscream defined himself as a Decepticon, yet also grew to hate you!" _Bumblebee beeped.

_"He loves me," _Megatron said breathily. _"He just doesn't understand that yet. He soon will, though. Soon." _

Bulkhead got up and marched over to the other side of the room. He grabbed a massive metal plate and slammed it over the door. The sound of Megatron's voice was cut off and the room fell into silence. Paint dripped down from the newly-made painting upon the plate and splattered onto the floor.

Starscream took a deep vent and rose to his pedes. He looked up at the metal plate and his optics widened.

"Is that?..."

It was a new painting this time. It was poorly made and was only paint splattered onto rough metal—

But the figures of Starscream and Bulkhead were unmistakable.

Not Skyfire.

_Bulkhead. _

"You… you painted _yourself _beside me. Not Skyfire—you painted _yourself! _Do you remember yourself, Wrecker?"

Bulkhead stared into space and twitched. "Just… just a little—_ oh, Starscream _—but… you helped."

Starscream stepped back as confusion filled his field. "How?! I just made things worse! Slag, I even encouraged the logs to take over your processor!"

"You cowered from Megatron the same way you cowered from the Enforcers."

The paint dripped off of the metal plate and made a _plink _noise as it hit the floor. Starscream offlined his optics and held his helm in his servos as he listened to the paint melt away all around them.

"Bulkhead, all of our progress is..."

"Gone. Melted. I know. And—_ S-subspace Log 47 _—I'm gonna be gone too." Bulkhead stepped forward and looked into Starscream's optics. "Let's get outta here and hit the trail one last time. Just you, me, and Miko."

Starscream shook his helm and sighed. "But the Autobots…"

"Don't need to know! I'll ask for their—_ my end will bring about yours _—forgiveness rather than their permission! Use your remote groundbridge thingy and we can be outta here and away from these creepy paintings and equations in no time!"

"This is a bad idea," Starscream moaned.

"When has that ever stopped me? Listen, Star. I'm gonna hit the dunes with my lil' Wrecker one last time—and I want you to be there so I can finish reciting the logs. There's only a few more left, I can feel it. It's up to you if you wanna be there or not…"

Starscream grit his dentae. "It is partly my fault you're even in this mess in the first place. I'll come."

"Great!" Bulkhead laughed as he clapped his servos together. For a split second a violent shudder coursed through his frame, but then it stopped. He walked over to the door and moved away the metal plate that blocked it.

_"—he is mine, his soul is mine, so hand the Seeker over, Optimus!" _Megatron's voice shouted and boomed through the crack in the door.

Bulkhead slammed the metal plate back over the door again. It muffled Megatron's voice and there was silence yet again.

"Er…" Bulkhead bit his lip. "Let's just wait a few minutes for them to finish up their spat first, yeah?"

Starscream shakily nodded. Bulkhead plopped onto the floor beside him with a clang and the two of them sat there in silence as they looked out over all of the paintings and equations.

"Huh, you know, I'm not that bad of an artist!" Bulkhead laughed as he pointed at one of his paintings on the wall.

Starscream squinted at it and hummed. "Yes, that is a lovely depiction of a scraplet you painted right there."

Bulkhead blinked and looked at him.

"...That's Miko."

* * *

The two of them crept out into the hallway. The only sound came from Bulkhead's engine and Starscream's overworked vents. He ran down the hall to his room and pried the metal door open.

The groundbridge remote sat right on the table. Starscream snatched it up and readied himself to press the coordinates in—but froze. He'd gotten the remote from the crashed Autobot ship, yes—but why was a Decepticon groundbridge remote on an Autobot ship full of Enforcers in the first place?

"C'mon, hurry up, Starry!" Bulkhead whined.

"Oh no, please don't tell me that's my new nickname," Starscream moaned.

"Oh, Starrryyyyy!"

Pedesteps thudded down the hall. Starscream froze and looked out into the dark hallways that stretched before them.

"Starry, calm down, it's fine, it's fine!" Bulkhead said.

It was Megatron. It had to be. He had just called to threaten them all and to tell them that he would one day reclaim Starscream—it had to be the warlord coming down the hall, he had to _run _—

"Don't run, please don't run," Bulkhead begged. He moved forward and tried to block Starscream's view of the dark hall, but it was too late. The silhouette of a large mech loomed in the dark right behind Bulkhead.

Panic erupted within him. He stumbled backwards and slammed his frame into the back of the wall. It was Megatron, Megatron, _Megatron— _

Optimus stepped into the light. Pity and grief infused his field.

Starscream's jaw dropped. "Wha… it's just you…"

Optimus knelt down and frowned. "How much did you hear?"

His spark pulsed. If he admitted to Optimus that he had overheard the call, then Optimus would know that Starscream had disobeyed him. If Optimus knew that he had been disobeyed, then he would be disappointed in him, and with disappointment came punishment and pain—

Optimus gently grabbed the back of Starscream's helm and tilted their helms together so that their forehelms were pressed together. "You have not disappointed me. You will not be punished. There will be no pain."

Starscream choked back a sob. "I said that aloud, d-didn't I?"

Optimus nodded. "Yes." He looked down at the remote Starscream clutched tightly in his talon.

"I swear I wasn't trying to escape, I swear!" Starscream sputtered.

"Wait, Optimus, it's not what it looks like!" Bulkhead said.

Optimus held up his servo and they both fell silent. "Are the two of you going somewhere?" he asked grimly.

"I…" Bulkhead wringed his servos together. "I was thinkin' maybe Miko and Starry and I should just… get away for a lil' while and…"

"...and enjoy your last moments together?" Optimus finished for him.

Bulkhead nodded.

The Prime sighed heavily and rose to his pedes. "I will not deprive you both of the opportunity to be together one last time."

"Hah, thanks OP! Let's go pick up Miko and then hit the dunes!" he laughed as he grabbed the remote from Starscream and fiddled with it.

Optimus knelt down and placed his servo atop Starscream's shoulder. Starscream flinched at the contact and Optimus's optics widened.

"Enjoy him while you still have him. And please…" Optimus whispered as Bulkhead excitedly chattered on.

Starscream leaned in to hear the Prime better.

"...comm us if anything goes wrong," Optimus finished.

"Oh yeah! Got it!" Bulkhead laughed as a groundbridge whirled to life in the hallway. He grabbed ahold of Starscream's talon and leaped through the bridge with a whoop. Starscream looked back at Optimus as he was pulled through the bridge.

The concerned look on Optimus's faceplate was the last thing he saw before the green light of the bridge overwhelmed everything.

* * *

Starscream laid on his back and stared up at the stars. An engine rumbled in the night and he sat up as Bulkhead drove up to him. Miko sat in his front seat and banged her head to metal music as Bulkhead pulled up beside Starscream.

"Sorry for the wait, Jas—er, Miko's home is a little ways away. So, d'ya like it?" he asked.

Starscream squinted into the distance. "Uh, like what?"

"The sand! The wild road! The desert makes for rough riding, Starry! You should get yourself some wheels and try it out!"

A shudder ran through Starscream's frame and he fluttered his single scarred wing. "Me? Wheels? No! No no no, Megatron joked about turning me into a grounder often enough, I don't need—"

Bulkhead rumbled his engine and Starscream fell silent. "Hey, we're just out here to have a good time, let's not chat about Buckethead. I suppose that you could say that we are…"

"Do not—!"

"_ Seeking _some fun!"

"Oh, just go drive off! Where the slag even are we?" Starscream said. He looked out across the harsh red cliffs of a desert.

Bulkhead revved his engine and drove around off in his alt-mode with Miko inside of him. He raced and skidded across the desert floor and sent huge plumes of red dust into the air with every rapid turn of his wheels. His two headlights shot two beams of yellow light into the dusty and dark night. Starscream stood a ways off and squinted at the two of them through the dust.

_"Somewhere fun!" _Miko shrieked over the comms.

Starscream scoffed. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

_"Shouldn't you be in jail?" _Miko snapped.

Starscream flared out his remaining wing in offense as Bulkhead laughed loudly.

"Yep, you two really are a match!"

Starscream sighed and lounged against a rock. "What the slag are you even doing out here?! The two of you engage in this… tomfoolery… every few days or so?"

"It's dune riding!" Bulkhead laughed.

"It's tomfoolery with sand involved. What I still don't entirely understand is why did you invite _me _here?"

Bulkhead drove over a high rock ridge and went air-borne for a split moment. Starscream felt a pang of jealousy upon realizing that the Wrecker was better at getting into the air than _he _was. He forlornly flapped his single scarred wing.

"I gotta read the rest of the logs out to ya, Starry! Gotta take advantage of every single second we have before… before..." Bulkhead trailed off.

"I understand," Starscream sighed. Bulkhead was himself again—for now—but it was only a matter of time before Skyfire's memories returned in full force and claimed the Wrecker for good.

Starscream lounged back against the rock and stared up at the thousands of stars above. He listened to the skid and whir of Bulkhead's tires and the sound of his voice.

_"Subspace Log 17… I am recording this log while out flying! I missed the wind—the Enforcers will try to take our wings from us, but I won't let anybody ever hurt your wings." _

Starscream flinched and flapped his lone wing. Miko whooped as Bulkhead drove in tight circles and sent a cloud of dust up into the air.

_"I wish you could get to fly too, but somebody has to stay behind and mine for energon I guess. So this has left me the perfect opportunity to record a log! I can tell that your morale is dropping. You don't think we will be able to overcome the Enforcers…" _

Bulkhead drove at full speed right towards the rock Starscream was sitting on. The Seeker shrieked and jumped out of the way right as Bulkhead suddenly swerved to the side and drove off. Miko whooped with laughter.

_"You need to be stronger, Starscream!" _both Bulkhead and Skyfire laughed. _"I know you have it in you to be strong. Your strength is just hidden away. One of your biggest enemies is not just the Enforcers, but yourself. I know that you can be more than what you currently are." _

Bulkhead swerved past the edge of a cliff. A thousand foot drop to a rocky canyon waited below and he drove right along the edge of the sheer drop. Starscream's spark leaped into his throat, but then Bulkhead drove off and away from the edge.

_"You are so much stronger than you really know, Starscream. If only… if only I could somehow get you to realize that. You want somebody to come along and save us, but if you unlocked your inner strength—" _

Bulkhead whooped along with Miko as he drove in a tight figure-eight across the dusty desert floor.

_" _— _then we could save ourselves." _

Bulkhead drove right past Starscream and his tires sent a spray of pebbles right at the Seeker. He laughed and then swerved away again.

_"Wait… something's not right here in the clouds…" _

Bulkhead slowed down to a halt.

_"Aww…" _Miko whined over the comms. Starscream heard her thump her fist against Bulkhead's dashboard. _"What's with the buzzkill, huh?" _

Bulkhead drove in reverse and backed away from something. Starscream looked off into the distance to see whatever had the Wrecker so spooked, but all he saw was the cliffs far ahead and the plunge below into the red valley.

"I'm not alone... Oh Primus, I think the Enforcers found me!" Bulkhead cried out. For a single moment, Bulkhead sounded nothing like himself—he sounded exactly like Skyfire.

The gravel crunched under his tires as he rapidly drove in reverse and right towards Starscream. Starscream yelped and leaped backward right as Bulkhead suddenly came to a halt right in front of the Seeker.

"They're here," Bulkhead whispered. Pure fear filled his field and mixed with the dust in the air.

Starscream squinted through the dark glass of Bulkhead's rear window and saw Miko in the front seat. She had a look of pure confusion on her face.

A deep sense of dread settled in his tank. "Fleshie, get out of Bulkhead."

_"What?" _she cried out over the comms. _"Just when the fun has begun?" _

"Human, do as I say!"

Bulkhead began to shake.

_"No, I'm not getting out! This is way too fun! Stop being jealous of us! Bulk's just having a bad flux, that's all." _

_"I need to fly faster," _Bulkhead whispered. _"The Enforcers, they're coming in, closer and closer, I need to…" _

"Miko!" Starscream shouted as he slammed his fist against Bulkhead's rear window.

Miko shook her fist at him. _"Hey, don't you dare hurt him!"_

"Miko, he might hurt _you! _"

"I must…" Bulkhead began to say as he revved his engine.

"No, slag it!" Starscream yelled.

Bulkhead's headlights flared with light. "I must _fly. _"

He revved his engine and took off.

Starscream tried to grab Bulkhead, but then the Wrecker's tires sent out a spray of rocks at the Seeker. Starscream stumbled back and coughed dust and pebbles out of his vents as Bulkhead rocketed away across the dusty desert floor. Miko obliviously whooped in joy.

_"I need to go faster, there's an Enforcer right below me!" _Bulkhead cried.

_"A_ _what?_" Miko yelped as Bulkhead drove right over a giant rock.

_"No, wait, faster!" _

He shot across the desert floor at full speed and left a cloud of dust in his wake.

_"Oh Primus, they're catching up!" _

Bulkhead swerved around and drove rapidly at the cliff edge as he dodged the non-existent Enforcers chasing him. Starscream's spark froze as he revved his engine again and aggressively shot across the desert.

_"I need to go even faster—" _

Miko shrieked over the comms. It sounded nothing like the happy shrieks she had been making just a few moments ago.

_"Faster—" _

Bulkhead gunned his engine and drove right at the cliff at full speed. At any moment now he'd slow down just like before, right? Right?

_"Primus, they're fast!" _

Bulkhead drove over the ridge again and briefly went airborne. His tires slammed back into the ground—but instead of slowing down like last time, he revved his engine again and put on even more speed.

"Bulkhead, slow down!" Starscream cried out. He knew nothing about how grounder racing worked though, so maybe this was just some normal thing grounders did?

_"Stop, Bulk, you're going too fast!" _Miko screamed.

Bulkhead would never consciously scare Miko like this. _Never. _

Starscream watched in horror as Bulkhead unconsciously drove towards the cliff at a blazing fast speed.

"Bulkhead, you are _not _Skyfire! You are not being chased!" he shouted after him.

He ignored the Seeker and growled his engine as he went even faster. _"I need to fly away to safety!" _

Starscream kicked the desert floor and sent a plume of dust into the air. "Slag it, Autobot, you can't fly!"

"I need to fly, I need to _fly _—"

"—You're going to _die! _" Starscream screamed. The Wrecker ignored him and continued to put on even more speed as Miko shrieked her lungs out over the comm.

Flying.

Dying.

It made no difference to Bulkhead.

"Miko, jump out of him right now!"

She continued to shriek over the comms.

"Oh, _slag! _" Starscream swore. He leaped off of his rock and broke into a full run across the desert. He hurriedly activated his comms.

"Prime, pick up, slag it!" he swore as he ran right at Bulkhead. His legs were no match for the speed of Bulkhead's tires.

_"Starscream, what's wrong?" _Optimus said over the other end.

"Bulkhead thinks he's a shuttle and now he's fleeing from fake Enforcers!"

_"What?" _

The edge of the cliff rapidly grew closer and closer and closer as Bulkhead drove at it at full speed.

"He's going to drive off of a cliff with Miko inside!"

_"Starscream—" _Optimus began to say.

Time seemed to slow down for him. There's no way the Autobots could help in time. It would take them a minute to all go through the bridge, and there were only a few seconds left before Bulkhead plummeted over the cliff with Miko inside.

Starscream ran even faster and felt the struts within his frame burn as he forced himself forward. Bulkhead drove right at the cliff edge—

"No, slag it!" Starscream shrieked.

—and plummeted over the side of it.

_"Flying," _Bulkhead softly whispered over the comms.

Starscream ran right to the edge and watched Bulkhead drop down to the rocky desert floor far below as Miko screamed within him. All of the Autobots panickedly yelled over the comms, but all Starscream could hear in that moment was the sound of the wind as it whistled past Bulkhead's falling frame. He transformed back to his root-mode in mid-air and looked out at the desert with wide blue optics.

"I g-gotta fly!" Bulkhead's voice drifted in the wind.

Starscream stood upon the cliff edge as he looked down into the canyon with pure horror. Bulkhead and Miko were only seconds away from impacting the ground.

_Seconds. _

He flared his wing. He only had the one—but it would have to do.

He transformed and then plummeted to the ground alongside Bulkhead. The Wrecker watched Starscream's alt-mode fall beside him as they fell to the ground.

Starscream activated his engine and flew underneath Bulkhead. Starscream shot towards the ground and he transformed back into his root-mode right as he was about to impact the desert floor. He slammed onto the ground and he knelt in the dust as Bulkhead's shadow fell over him.

Bulkhead plummeted through the air right towards the Seeker's helm.

"Oh, Primus!" Starscream shrieked.

He threw his servos up just in time to catch the Wrecker. Bulkhead slammed down into Starscream with a massive _clang _and Starscream screamed with the effort of catching the massive mech. He was forced down to a single knee and knelt there in the desert sand with Bulkhead strewn across his back and wing.

A large cloud of dust rose up into the air and spun around them. Starscream offlined his optics and held them tightly shut as his entire frame creaked and groaned with the effort of holding Bulkhead.

_"Starscream!" _Optimus called.

He looked up at the cliff far above and saw the rest of the Autobots standing atop it.

He hoisted Bulkhead off of his back with a massive groan of effort and collapsed into the desert sand. Starscream's vents ran hot and heavy and error messages flashed across his HUD.

"Idiot!" Starscream hissed out. He lightly punched Bulkhead's arm, but the Wrecker had no reaction. He continued to stare off into space as he slowly turned his helm to regard the Seeker.

"See, I knew you had the strength in you, Starscream," Bulkhead wheezed. He offlined his optics and let out a quiet breath. "You saved me from the Enforcers. You _saved _me."

"I did what I had to," Starscream sighed. "I just wish it wasn't so _hard. _Why'd you have to go and drive off a cliff, you imbecile?! Because... because of Skyfire. My dead brother is the reason my new one is dying."

Bulkhead's chestplate shifted and Miko popped her head out. She looked up at Starscream with wide eyes.

He froze. "Um. Did you hear that?"

Miko nodded her head slowly. She shakily pulled herself out of Bulkhead's armor and clambered over to Starscream.

"Uh, no, please don't approach," Starscream moaned. He was getting sick of this bold little human and her brazen stupidity. She'd just complain at him and accuse him of being a 'buzzkill.' He offlined his optics and awaited her inevitable tirade.

"At first, you called me fleshie," she said softly.

Starscream cracked a single optic open and looked at her. She shook slightly and had her hands drawn up into fists by her side.

"Then you called me human…"

She stepped closer to him and climbed up onto his arm.

"Then you called me by my name… 'cause you were scared. You were _scared _for me. Not just for him—but for _me. _"

Starscream's jaw dropped. He tried to think of something to say to this, but his processor came up empty.

Miko laughed bitterly and wiped some of the desert dust off of her. "I guess you're not such a buzzkill after all."

Engines rumbled in the air as the Autobots finished driving down the hillside. The sounds of transformation echoed across the desert. Optimus folded out of his alt-mode and ran up to all of them with pure worry in his field. He knelt in the dust beside Bulkhead and looked the unconscious Wrecker over.

"He went into shutdown, I think," Starscream breathed out. Optimus's helm shot up and his shoulders fell in relief at the sight of Starscream and Miko.

"You caught him," Arcee said. It was not a question. She stood by Bulkhead's helm and looked at the Seeker with wide optics.

"Pfft, of course I did," Starscream huffed. "What else was I supposed to do?"

"I thought you would, I don't know…" Arcee scoffed.

"Let them fall?"

Arcee shut her intake and pressed it into a thin line.

"Ugh," Starscream rolled his optics as Ratchet ran up to him and Bulkhead. "Don't even bother—I know the answer."

"Don't move!" Ratchet hissed at them as he looked them over. "Overall, Bulkhead seems fine. It's Starscream I'm worried about."

"Can I just stay here on the desert floor for a little while? Maybe for like a few days? My frame is _really _not up for much else."

Optimus smiled and put a servo upon his shoulder. "You have done well, Starscream. I am proud of you for saving both Bulkhead and Miko. Now we need to get you back to base."

"Subspace log 47… subspace log 58… _You had the strength in you all along, Starscream. All along. You just needed some motivation, that's all. _"

He jolted and craned his helm up to look at Bulkhead. The Wrecker's optics were wide open again and he stared off into the night sky as he muttered on and on.

"Slag it!" Starscream shrieked as he punched the desert floor. Optimus helped him to his knees and held the Seeker tightly to him. "How could he still be having stupid hallucinations?! He nearly got himself killed with them, why can't he just—"

Optimus held Starscream and rumbled his engine soothingly. "You did all that you could."

"I could've done more! I could've still enjoyed him while he was _him _and not… whatever he is now! I could've refused to listen to the logs, but I wanted to hear them, you know that? I wanted to hear them so so badly, so I urged him on, and now look where that's gotten us!"

A new groundbridge opened up before them and Bumblebee helped Ratchet carry Bulkhead's frame into the vortex. Arcee stood a ways off and watched Starscream shake in Optimus's grip.

Bulkhead reached his servo out to Starscream as he was dragged through the bridge. _"I worry that my end will bring about yours…" _

* * *

Starscream stared at the ceiling. His entire frame ached, all the way from the tip of his crest to the tips of his pedes.

Bulkhead recharged in a medical berth right beside him. His mouth moved as he recited the logs in his sleep.

He could still feel gritty grains of sand in his joints. He wanted nothing more than to let his processor go perfectly blank so that he could forget about what happened, but the sand in his joints served as a constant reminder.

Something shuffled across the floor. Starscream craned his helm over the edge of his berth and winced as a bright light came on and shone right in his optics. His spark pulsed in his chestplates and fear shot through his field.

"Whoever you are, turn that fragging thing off!" he quietly hissed.

The light changed direction and Miko pointed it at herself. "Pssst! My phone light won't last forever!"

Starscream groaned. "Go find somebody else to antagonize. Go mess with Ratchet, he needs it. Wait, shouldn't you be at home?! Why are you still here?"

Miko was silent.

Starscream waited for her to respond, but heard nothing except the beeps and whirs of the medbay machines.

He peered over the edge of the berth and saw her looking at something. He followed her line of sight and looked up at a computer console that showed a schematic of Bulkhead's processor.

Only 14% of it remained.

Starscream heard a quiet sniffle.

"What is happening?!" Starscream harshly whispered. If that noise was what he thought it was, he'd have a spark attack. He was _not _equipped to handle this.

"I walked back to base after Bee gave Raf and I a ride home. I snuck in and presto, here I am. I am going to save Bulkhead," Miko whispered as she cried softly. She looked back up at Starscream and glared at him. "And it is up to you whether to come along or not!"

Starscream groaned. "And how do you plan on achieving what the greatest Cybertronian medic still alive cannot do?"

"I'm going to jog Bulk's memory! The moment he sees our ol' monster truck stadium, he'll get all of his memories back and forget about this stupid Skyfire guy."

"He is _not _stupid!" Starscream hissed at her.

"Do you wanna come or not?!" she hissed back.

Bulkhead stirred in his sleep. Miko hurriedly shut her phone light off and the two of them sat there silently in the darkness as Bulkhead shifted in his sleep.

"My end… yours… will bring about…" he snored.

Starscream sat up with a grunt and knelt down beside Miko. Only the bright red glow of his optics and the blue glow of the computer provided any light in the near pitch-black medbay. He opened his intake to scold her, but Miko beat him to it.

"We can do this one of two ways, bucko! Either you can come with me and save our brother… or you can stay here and mope around in your bed. What's it gonna be?" Miko said as she pointed a finger right at Starscream.

"Oh? And what's stopping me from comming Optimus and having him truck you back to… wherever it is you and your little fleshie friends live?"

Miko smiled. "Your guilt."

Starscream recoiled. "What?"

"You feel bad about what's happening to Bulk! Heck, you said that you even feel _responsible _for this! So there's no way in the Pit you're just gonna mope around here in bed when you could come with me and potentially _save _him! You've got one shot to fix this mess, buddy!"

"What—why do you even want me to come along?"

"Because you're partly responsible for all of this! You kept tryin' to get him to relive the logs, and now Bulk won't stop 'cause of you! Besides, Bulk would totally freak if he woke up and saw that his lil' Seeker brother was missing!"

Starscream sighed.

"And…" Miko began to say again. This time, she spoke much more softly and without her usual bravado. "I'm tired of watching you be sad. I want you to stop being sad. I liked you better when you were just like a Saturday morning cartoon villain—something easy to laugh at and hate. But now… now I just can't laugh at you and hate you. Not anymore."

Starscream looked up at Bulkhead. "If I choose to try and stop you…"

"Which you won't!"

"Then you'll just try to pull off this little stunt of yours tomorrow, won't you? And the day after that? And the day after that?" Starscream said as he peered down at her.

Miko smirked. "Oh, you know me too well, Star. C'mon! You have nothing to lose from helping me! If Bulk gets his memories back, then awesome! If not…" She trailed off and stared at her feet.

This was so, so stupid. He should just comm Prime and let the rest of the Autobots take care of this debacle. But on the other hand, the human would just try to perform this stunt sooner or later...

Bulkhead stirred in his sleep again. He moved his servos in the air almost as if he was stroking something, like a wing—

Oh.

"Don't you dare stop me!" Miko shouted. She threw a rock at Bulkhead's arm and it immediately woke the Wrecker up. He shot up in his berth and looked around in a panic.

"Huh? What?"

"Wake up bro! We're gonna go see some monster trucks!" Miko whooped.

_"Monsters. The Council is made of monsters. They care little for us fliers—" _

"Nooo!" Miko groaned. "Monster _trucks! _C'mon, follow me! Remember me? You… you do remember me, don't you?"

Bulkhead just stared at her. He rolled off the berth and rose to his pedes while staring intently at the little human.

"Monsters," he repeated.

"Yes! Follow me!" Miko shrieked as she ran off. Bulkhead tromped after her in a daze.

When they reached the doorway of the medbay, Miko turned on her phone light and shone it back at Starscream. "Last chance, pretty boy!"

Starscream sighed. "Pretty boy, what—? Just, no. No."

Miko just stared at him. "Are you sure?"

_"Together, forever, together, forever…" _Bulkhead repeated nonstop.

"No, now shoo!" Starscream hissed.

She looked at him for a moment. "And to think that I called you Bulkhead's little brother!"

Miko ran off and Bulkhead loped after her. Starscream sighed and curled back up on his medberth. This was the right choice. Just wait for the two fools to reach the main room, and then all he had to do was comm the bots to end this madness. That way nobody got in any trouble.

But then again, Bulkhead had saved him back at the river. He'd dropped him like a brick a moment later, but he still saved him nevertheless. He'll never forget the warm and worried look Bulkhead had on his faceplate when he catched his talon and saved him from the bloodied river.

He'd also never forget this day. The river, the warlord, the cliff—and now monster trucks. Starscream laughed bitterly to himself.

"The only monster here is myself," he muttered.

His optics shot wide open.

Had he _really _just said that?

Maybe it was the exhaustion in his struts, maybe it was the sleep deprivation, but maybe the reason he said those words to himself was because he _meant _them.

"I'm not a monster," he whispered into his berth.

He was not a hero either, though. Far from one. He was something in-between, this strange half-lit creature that went from serving a warlord to serving a Prime. He was no hero.

But he still could be one.

"I mean," he scoffed to himself. "What are the chances that I'll be able to help? That I'll be able to actually help jog Bulkhead's memory?"

The only noise that greeted him was the quiet whir of the medbay.

"What are the chances?" he mumbled. He looked up at the computer screen that showed how much of Bulkhead's processor still remained.

13% percent.

"What are the chances Bulkhead will be all gone by tomorrow morning?"

He could fall into recharge and just spend the night on his berth, yes. And while he'd be busy recharging, Bulkhead would be busy forgetting everything and everyone.

Starscream sat up on his berth. He wasn't seriously considering this, was he?

A _plink _noise echoed through the darkness. Starscream looked over and squinted at the wall beside Bulkhead's berth. He swore he heard the strange noise come from over there. He got up and walked over to the medberth. The bright red glow of his optics lit up the wall and what he saw made his spark sink.

A painting of him, Bulkhead, and Miko was smeared onto the wall.

"He painted it in his sleep," Starscream whispered to himself as he began to shake. "He'll… he'll be all gone by tomorrow."

_"Spend time with Bulkhead while he is Bulkhead," _Optimus's voice whispered in his helm. _"Not anybody else. He might not always be here." _

A new voice echoed through his helm. _"Something might happen to me—" _

Starscream's armor tightened up.

_" _— _and if something does, then… then I need you to watch out for Miko for me," _the memory of Bulkhead's voice said.

It was probably the last time he'd ever get to hear it.

_"Yes, I really am asking you to keep an optic out for my lil' Wrecker if something happens to me." _

Starscream groaned and held his helm in his servos.

If he tried this, he could get in serious trouble.

But if he never tried this, then he'd never forgive himself.

* * *

"It can't be _that _hard to operate!" Miko scoffed. "I've seen you turn the bridge on a million times!"

Bulkhead stared into space. _"Flying. Dying. A small difference. Fly carefully, Starscream, because I will not always be able to save you from crashing." _

"C'monnn!" Miko cried out as she lightly punched Bulkhead's leg. "You need to get the bridge to work, or otherwise we'll never get to the m-monster trucks, and you'll never get your memories back, and… and…"

Her voice broke and turned into sniffles. She stood there beside Bulkhead as he stared deep into space while mumbling.

The groundbridge lit up with a blinding flash of light and sent a burst of air across the main room. Miko looked up in shock and expected to see Bulkhead's servo on the groundbridge lever.

Instead, she saw a thin black talon.

Starscream held his talon over the bridge's lever and stared into the whirling green vortex with a steely glare. "Coordinates," he said.

Miko wiped tears from her eyes. "W-what?"

Starscream took a deep vent and continued to stare into the depths of the bridge. His talon on the lever began to shake slightly. "Where to, Miko?"

"Where to?... Oh, um, let me show you…"

She held up her phone with a pair of coordinates on it. Starscream nodded and typed them in.

"Thanks for doing this by the way—"

"Don't make me regret my decision, Miko," Starscream gritted out. He readjusted the bridge and the shimmery image of a parking lot appeared on the other side.

He scooped her up in his talon and grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's servo with his other talon. The three of them went through the bridge together as Bulkhead muttered on and on.

_"My end will bring about yours…" _

* * *

They found themselves in a large parking lot full of parked automobiles. Bright lights flashed from within a large stadium off in the distance. A cold wind blew out of the sky and a thousand stars shone above as Starscream guided Bulkhead through the cold and brightly-lit parking lot.

"Do you seriously think dragging Bulkhead to this...shindig… will seriously help him?" Starscream scoffed.

Miko's eyes widened. "Uh, Screamer—?"

"Shindig, hoedown, I don't care what you humans call this kind of event, I don't like it—" Starscream yelped and abruptly stopped talking. An enormous pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and he felt his frame get pushed up against the curves of Wrecker-grade armor. Starscream couldn't help but let out a high-pitched keen and sink into Bulkhead's shaky arms.

_"I need you to be strong for me, Star. Okay? I worry that my end will bring about yours..." _

Starscream froze in Bulkhead's warm grasp. "Um?"

"He's losin' it again, Screamer! Quick, we gotta pull him out of the memory!" Miko shrieked.

Starscream twisted his helm around to look at Bulkhead. The Wrecker stared right at him with the bluest optics he'd ever seen.

"_ Remember…" _Bulkhead shook out. _"Remember which one is Cybertron?" _

"Bulkhead, now is neither the time nor the place to go planet-searching! We need to jog your memory. There's gotta be something about this wretched human place that will help you remember! Something!" Starscream snapped.

Bulkhead grabbed tightly ahold of Starscream's arm and pointed it up at a cluster of stars in the sky.

"Uhhh, what's he doin'?" Miko asked from down below.

Starscream's breath froze in his vents. Bulkhead gently pointed Starscream's talon up and at a cluster of stars in precisely the same way Skyfire had so many years ago.

He stared expectantly at Starscream as if he were waiting for him to say something.

"Bulkhead?.."

"He's acting like Skyfire again!" Miko shouted. "Did you and Sky ever do somethin' like this?"

Starscream snorted. "We never attended monster truck rallies, if that is what you are asking."

"No! I mean, has Skyfire ever grabbed ahold of your arm and told you to point out which star is Cybertron?"

Starscream gulped. The wind had been blowing so hard and it had been so very cold, but they had had a mission to complete and they needed to scout out the ice sheet. So they did. Two went into the blizzard, and one came out.

A cold wind blew across the parking lot and across their frames. For a split moment it wasn't green armor he saw, but pure shuttle white, and it wasn't the parking lot that stretched before him, but an ice sheet, cold and bright and white and endless and hungrily all-consuming—

"He's… he's reenacting Skyfire's final…" Starscream began. His voice broke at the last moment. "His final…"

Miko's glare vanished and her face softened. "...Moments?"

Starscream said nothing and looked into Bulkhead's expectant optics. "I don't know what he wants from me. He won't stop staring!"

"Maybe you gotta play along with him," Miko mused.

"Play along," Starscream muttered. He took a deep vent and looked into Bulkhead's bright blue optics. If he looked at only his optics, he could pretend that they were Skyfire's and not Bulkhead's. He sighed. "We can't see Cybertron. It's too dim."

Starscream began to shake. This was stupid and he shouldn't be doing this. Dragging a delusional mech along on some mad adventure through the middle of the night was one thing, but playing into his delusional fantasies as well? That was too much, just _way _too much. He tried to pry his raised arm away from Bulkhead's grasp.

Bulkhead's grip tightened and he prevented Starscream from moving his arm.

_"Not if you look really hard, Starscream," _Bulkhead smiled. _"Really, really, hard. Look for me, Star. If I don't make it—" _

"No, no, you _will _make it," Starscream shook out. His words came out all hitched and broken and he didn't need to act to make himself sound miserable. He felt as if he really were there out on that ice sheet with Skyfire again, saying goodbye to him. He had no idea that he had been saying goodbye to him at the time.

"You _will _make it!" Starscream swore. Miko's jaw dropped and she rapidly glanced back and forth between Starscream and Bulkhead.

_"—then you need to know which one is Cybertron. Point to it." _

Starscream moved his arm over to the star cluster and shakily pointed a single digit at the stars.

Bulkhead wiped imaginary snow off of Starscream's arm and tightly held onto it.

_"Good. You found it. Now look at it, remember it—" _

"Stop…" Starscream began to say. His voice broke and he snapped his intake shut. Bulkhead looked at him expectantly.

"Keep acting, Star, keep acting!" Miko hissed.

"Did… you just call me Star?" Starscream asked.

Bulkhead began to shake even more.

Starscream froze. "Oh, uh, right. Stop freaking out!"

Bulkhead smiled. _"—and _remember, _Starscream. Remember where it is because I might not be there to remember it for you." _

Starscream nodded and ignored the wet sensation he felt on his faceplates. Bulkhead let go of him and looked out into the night.

_"Relax, Star. We'll just scout this area out, see if this is a good place to hide the cylinder—" _

Starscream sobbed.

_"—and then we'll be back at the Academy in no time." _

Starscream wiped the coolant on his faceplate away. "Okay," he said. He tried to ignore the way the stars that surrounded Cybertron twinkled in the sky and the way Miko looked up at him with pure shock.

_"Then let's go. I've got the cylinder in my cargo bay," _Bulkhead said as he stumbled off.

Starscream took a deep vent and glared up at the dim stars. He just needed to get this over with and then get back to base, and then he could pretend this incident never happened. Maybe Bulkhead would come back to the base with him. Or just his empty frame.

"Are… are you okay?" Miko asked. She stood by his pede and looked up at him.

Starscream scoffed. "Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"

Miko frowned and said nothing. She glanced back and forth between Bulkhead and Starscream. "So… did you make it?"

Starscream blinked. "Make what?"

"Make it back to Cybertron—the way your friend wanted to. Did you make it back home?"

"Ugh," Starscream rolled his optics. "_ Obviously. _How else would I have joined Megatron and fought for Cybertron if I hadn't made it back home? Do you seriously think I was just lost in space all those years?"

He winced as Bulkhead confusedly stumbled into a bush.

Miko was silent for a moment. "...Kind of. You seem pretty lost to me. Seems kinda like you lost yourself along the way. Like… not all of you made it back to Cybertron."

"What… what do you mean?"

Miko sighed. "What I'm saying, _Star, _is that it kinda seems like… like a part of you stayed behind here on earth with Skyfire."

Starscream clenched his talons into fists. "No. When I returned to Cybertron, I was fine, okay?! I was perfectly fine and whole!"

Miko huffed. "Well, then why did you go crazy and join Buckethead?"

"Because—because—"

"You tried to make Megs into Skyfire's replacement, didn't you?"

Starscream froze and looked down at Miko. Her eyes widened and she took a step back.

"I… I shouldn't have said that, should I?"

Starscream began to shake. "You… how _dare _you…"

"How cute!" someone shouted.

Starscream whirled around and his wing shot right down.

Knock Out looked right at him with a smug expression. Starscream hurriedly turned around and began to wipe down the coolant on his own faceplate as much as he could. He couldn't let them see, couldn't let them know just how badly this was all affecting him—

"Look at us, Screamer!" Breakdown shouted as he stomped up beside Knock Out.

Starscream reached down and grabbed ahold of Miko and then ran over to Bulkhead. He was stuck in a bush and blindly stared out into space as he muttered more logs. Starscream shoved her into Bulkhead's shaky palm. "Call a bridge!" he hissed to her.

"Oh, trying to run from us now? Tsk, tsk, Starscream, you knew we'd cross paths again sooner or later! Don't be shy!" Knock Out laughed.

His processor ran into overdrive. He had to think of something, anything at all to get them out of the way. How could he possibly fight two Decepticons all while looking out for a mad mech and a squishy human?

"Hah, how could you?" Breakdown laughed.

"Wha—" Starscream shouted. He nearly turned around and exposed his coolant-covered faceplate, but he rapidly turned back around. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Hah, only every word! Got your thoughts and words all mixed up, mein Kommandant?"

"Frag off!" Starscream shouted at them as he hid his faceplate.

"Don't be shy now," Knock Out said. He stepped forward with his electro-prod clutched tightly in his servos. "We just want to talk. Show us your faceplate."

Starscream ground his dentae and felt pure panic rise up within him. He had to think, he had to _think _—

"C'mon, Screamer! Are you feeling a bit self-conscious, huh? Worried we'll think you're ugly?" Breakdown laughed. It was not a happy noise. "Come on, we know you're not ugly… well, on the outside at least. Show us your faceplate."

Starscream held perfectly still and kept his faceplate hidden behind his servo. Bulkhead continued to mutter in the bushes and Miko stared at Starscream with wide and horrified eyes.

_"Subspace Log 47…. Subspace Log 47…" _

Knock Out looked into the bushes. He glanced back and forth between the bushes and Starscream as a smile spread across his faceplate.

"Ooh, what are you hiding? You've got so many secrets, Starscream! You're hiding your friends, you're hiding your faceplate, you're hiding the true reason you. Left. Us," Knock Out said.

Starscream grit his dentae. Think, slaggit, _think _—

Breakdown and Knock Out glanced between each other and nodded. Breakdown began to stomp over to the bushes as he transformed his servo into a hammer.

Starscream's optics widened. No, the Decepticons couldn't be allowed to find them, if Breakdown found Bulkhead in the delusional state he was in, and if he found Miko as well—_ Primus, _Miko was so small, so so small—

_"Keep her safe for me, will ya?" _Bulkhead's voice echoed in his helm.

Breakdown's grin widened and he continued to stomp towards the bushes—

There was no time to think. Just time for action.

Starscream ran over to one of the parked trucks and hefted it into the air above his helm. He grunted as he raised the vehicle up into the air and turned around. Knock Out and Breakdown's optics widened. Starscream stood there as coolant streamed down his faceplate and as his red Autobot badge shone bright in the harsh parking lot light.

He screamed as he threw the truck at them with all his might. Knock Out and Breakdown had only a second to scramble to the side as the truck slammed into the ground where they had once stood.

_"Subspace Log 52…" _Bulkhead muttered

A large cloud of dust flew up into the air. When it cleared, Knock Out and Breakdown stood there with wide optics.

"_I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here..." _

"You… you…" Breakdown sputtered as he pointed a servo at Starscream's bright red Autobot badge. Knock Out stared at the trails of coolant on the Seeker's faceplate.

_"My end is near. I can feel it." _

Starscream said nothing. Breakdown and Knock Out shared a glance with each other. Breakdown raised his hammer and Knock Out raised his electro-prod into the air and activated it with a crackle. He and Breakdown ran at Starscream at full speed.

Starscream shrieked, but stood his ground. He extended his talons and prepared himself for the fight of his life.

Miko gasped in horror. Bulkhead's wide blue optics widened as he watched Star.

_"And I worry that your end will bring about mine..."_


	17. The Last Log

Breakdown's hammer swung down. Starscream threw himself backwards and fell to the ground with a clang right as the hammer struck the ground where he had once stood. The asphalt cracked and splintered and Breakdown glared at Starscream angrily.

"You left," Breakdown said coldly. It was not a question, but just a statement. Starscream had never heard Breakdown speak so coldly and harshly before.

"I, I—"

"Save it." Breakdown raised his hammer again as Starscream leaped back to his pedes. He jumped behind a truck just as he heard Breakdown roar behind him.

He looked up and into the bushes. The faint blue glow of Bulkhead's optics shone from within the leaves and if he squinted, he could even see Miko there, a small and faint silhouette struck with horror.

Another truck crumpled behind him and Starscream shrieked as the buzz of a saw whirred past his helm. He had to escape, he had to transform—

His back spasmed as his single wing shook in pain. No wing, no flight, and no freedom. Breakdown and Knock Out slowly walked towards him with their weapons extended.

He had to lure them away from Bulkhead and Miko, he _had_ to. Bulkhead was already dead—the least Starscream could do was honor his dying wish.

_"Protect her for me, will ya?"_ Bulkhead had said with the special kind desperation and pain only a dying mech has.

"What's with all this running, Screamer?" Knock Out laughed as his saw whirred back to life.

_"Protect her,_" Bulkhead's voice echoed in his helm, each word thick with emotions that Bulkhead had since then lost the ability to feel.

"Get away from me, you slaggers!" Starscream hissed. He backed away and felt himself clang into a car. He turned and leaped over the car right as Breakdown lunged and reached for him. The tips of Breakdown's digits grazed the scratched and bloodied metal of Starscream's leg. Breakdown fell onto the car and made it crumple into nothing. Smoke belched out from the ruined car and floated up into the sky.

A large monster truck on display sat off to the side. Starscream ran underneath it and slid under it right as Knock Out smacked his electro-prod into the ground where he had just been. Starscream crawled underneath the undercarriage and looked left and right as his spark pulsed with panic. Knock Out and Breakdown's pedes prowled around the truck.

"You can't stay under there foreverrrr, little Scream!" Knock Out laughed.

"Yes, I can!" he hissed back. He tried to comm the Autobot base, but all he received was static.

"C'mon, we'd much rather have you be our second-in-command than Soundwave!" Knock Out said.

Starscream froze.

_Soundwave _was his replacement?

He wasn't sure why, but that thought made a strange sense of pity for the silent mech well up within him.

The monster truck shook as Breakdown slammed his hammer into the side of it over and over again.

"Come out, we haven't got all night!" he grunted.

Starscream shook in fear and his processor went into overdrive as he frantically tried to look for an escape. He tried to sit up and his helm clanged against something. A large metal black tank was right above his helm and up in the truck's undercarriage. An idea entered his helm.

Knock Out knelt down and peered at Starscream. "Stop hiding like a turbo-rat and come out—you're ruining your finish!" He activated his electro-prod and swung it backwards as he prepared to send a blast of electricity right at Starscream.

Starscream prayed to Primus that this was not a terrible idea he had just come up with. He quickly slashed out with his talons and tore open the tank above his helm. A strange liquid began to pour out of it and over the ground. Starscream scrambled out from underneath the truck and ran back into the parking lot.

Knock Out sneered and sent a bolt of electricity into the air. The electricity zipped and zapped through the air and under the undercarriage—and right towards the dripping tank Starscream had torn open.

Breakdown grabbed Knock Out and fell to the ground right as the monster truck exploded. It let out a deafening burst of noise that made all of the vehicles in the parking lot shudder. Hundreds of car alarms began to blare and echo into the air as the monster truck smoked away in the night.

Starscream fell backwards into a pickup truck and looked up. The monster truck blazed away in a massive inferno of hot red flames that made the entire night glow red. The thick smoke blotted out the stars and obscured the star cluster in which Cybertron was in.

Miko stared at him from the trees and began to frantically wave her hands around.

Starscream looked at Miko through the cloud of smoke and mouthed two words.

_I'm sorry._

Her eyes widened in shock.

Starscream turned around and began to run as far from the bushes as he possibly could.

A large hill rose up into the ground near the edge of the parking lot. Beyond that was the curve of the stadium and the hills of the wilderness beyond. If he got away from Bulkhead, then Breakdown and Knock Out wouldn't find Bulkhead and Miko, and then everything would be fine, everything would be _fine._

A heavy pede landed upon his wing and forced Starscream to the ground. He craned his helm backwards and saw the massive silhouette of Breakdown.

At any moment now there would be so much pain, at any moment now he'd bring his hammer down and crush Starscream's helm into the dirt—

"What… what happened to your wing?" Breakdown said. Knock Out stood beside him, but instead of the usual smug expression on his face, his faceplate was drawn into a look of cold concern.

"Soundwave happened, that's what!" Starscream shouted. Breakdown removed his pede and Starscream shot up from the dirt. He tried to make a run for it, but then Breakdown's servo tightly grabbed Starscream's arm and immobilized the Seeker.

"No, slag it, what do you mean?" Breakdown hissed. The ex-Wrecker's field was taut with anger, but there was another emotion hidden there beneath the angry waves of static—an emotion Starscream was very familiar with.

It was the cold chill of fear.

"Your new second-in-command did this to me, you imbecile! You were there! You saw it all!" Starscream said. The cuts and scratches across his wing were still healing and had left behind long dark grey weld marks that snaked across his entire wing.

They'd never completely heal.

Breakdown looked at Starscream's scarred wing with horror. "We saw Soundwave doing… _something _to you, but… we never imagined…"

"You never imagined, oh is that it? You never _realized _just how bloodthirsty and cruel he and Megatron really are, did you? You saw what he was doing to me, to my _wings,_ you just didn't wish to understand!" Starscream snapped.

Breakdown froze. Knock Out stood beside him and pointed his electro-prod at Starscream's chestplate.

"Don't make this hard. Come with us," he grit out.

"It's already hard, slag it! Why should I come back? So Soundwave can add more scars to my wing, so he can rip off my only one left?" Starscream said. He tried to pry himself free from Breakdown's grasp, but his hold on Starscream's arm only tightened.

"Yes!" Breakdown shouted.

"Oh," Starscream laughed bitterly. "You're just as sick and deranged as Soundwave and Megatron are, aren't you?"

"I don't want Knock Out to be their next target! _I _don't want to be their next target! I can't lose my other optic the same way you can't afford to lose your last wing."

"I'm your _buffer_? An obstacle to shove in front of your precious Lord to stop his tirade from reaching you? Is that all I am?" Starscream hissed. Breakdown pulled him in closer until he and the Seeker were faceplate-to-faceplate.

"You were our _shield, _slag it! You took the hits meant for us!"

"Breaky, calm down," Knock Out said.

"No! I need to say this! I don't want to bring you in, I really don't. But I don't want to get my chestplate cracked open again. Not ever ever again. So if it has to be you instead… I'd rather it be you than Knock Out."

"I'm your shield," Starscream whispered to himself. Horror filled his field. "I'm your _shield_?!"

Breakdown sighed. "You were _everybody's _field. You just never realized that. You took his anger so that the rest of the Decepticons would not have to. And for every single day you've been gone, we've lost another soldier to his anger, another drone killed during one of his tantrums. So come back and take the hits cause if you don't—we _all _will become his target."

"I got out of there, slag it, and I am _not _coming back."

"I know," Breakdown grit out. "I _know. _And it's weird, I know, but I'm kinda glad you got out, that you got away from his wrath—-but if you don't absorb his anger, then Knock Out will, and I can't let him get cut open the same way I was by M.E.C.H, okay? Slag it, Starscream, I'm not sure if I should just bash your helm in or drag you along with me or if I should just let you go."

"Let me go," Starscream whispered as Breakdown began to shake. "Just… just let go."

"You looked so miserable out there in the stream, you know that?" Breakdown whispered. His grip on Starscream's arm slightly loosened and Starscream began to slowly pull his arm free of the ex-Wrecker's grip.

"Breakdown, what are you doing? Less monologuing, more capturing!" Knock Out said. His faceplate looked playful, but there was a hint of tension hidden in his plating.

"You looked so scared out there. But when you looked at Bulkhead… you looked happy. I haven't seen you look at a mech that happily in a long time. Are you…"

"No!" Starscream shouted as he pulled his arm free and stumbled back. "Don't say it, slag it—"

"Are you his brother? His new Wrecking buddy?"

"Why does everybody think I'm trying to be everybody's brother?! I'm nothing, I'm nobody, just _let me go!_"

"You're not nothing," Knock Out whispered. His voice was softer than it had ever been before. He activated his electro-prod and made the entire parking lot light up with bright white light. "You're our shield, slag it. And you're coming back with us."

He swung his prod out in a wide arc of lightning and electricity. Starscream dropped to his knees and saw and felt the air above his helm sizzle as the prod just barely passed over him. He rolled away and leaped over a car and hid in the smoke cloud of the truck he crushed earlier.

Breakdown charged right through the parking lot and threw car after car to the side. Starscream crouched down and threw his frame flat to the ground as he crawled through the rows of vehicles.

"Slag it, just come out already!" Breakdown yelled. Starscream bit his glossa to prevent a cry of terror from escaping his intake. He looked over at the trees and saw the dark and hidden silhouette of Bulkhead within the leaves. Miko stood upon his shoulder and looked at Starscream with a grim expression.

Surely she called for a bridge, right? She had to have called somebody, _anybody._

She frowned and shook her head as she held her phone out. Starscream readjusted his optics to make them as sensitive as possible and squinted at her screen.

NO SIGNAL

His spark dropped into his chestplates.

"C'mon, Screamer!" Breakdown shouted as he smashed his hammer into a car. It soared through the air and landed in the trees just feet away from Bulkhead.

No signal meant no bridge. No bridge meant no rescue.

"Come _on!_" Breakdown's voice echoed through the air.

No rescue meant that Starscream would have to rescue them all by himself.

He shot to his pedes again and hid behind the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler as Breakdown tore the parking lot to shreds on the other side. Miko waved at him and goaded him forward.

Starscream froze. She wanted him to come hide with her and Bulkhead.

Another car exploded as Breakdown smashed his hammer into it.

"Just… please come back! Please," Breakdown yelled.

But Bulkhead and Miko weren't the target—and he couldn't allow them to become new targets. He couldn't hide with them, that would just endanger them.

Starscream bit back a sob and ran away from them and towards the hill.

He needed to be their shield.

He ran off into the bushes at the side of the parking lot and quietly crawled up the steep ground until he was located above the parking lot down below.

"I need to capture you! I have to. I don't want to. But I _have _to. So just… just come out and let's get this over with," Breakdown shouted into the air. There was a tight resignation in his voice as he drove around the parking lot and none of his usual anger.

Starscream took one last look at the parking lot. Breakdown and Knock Out drove in circles through the rows of parked cars with their headlights on at full blast. The bright beams of their headlights flashed over the trees in which Bulkhead was hidden. A faint pair of blue optics watched him from within the foliage. Bulkhead raised his servo and shakily reached out to Starscream.

_"Just come out already!"_ Knock Out shouted with a hint of desperation in his voice, a desperation Starscream had never heard from him before.

The bright lights of the stadium pulsed and made a flash of light wash over the entire parking lot.

_"Screamer, come on!"_ Breakdown yelled.

Bulkhead began to walk through the trees and towards Starscream.

"Starrrr?"

Starscream slapped his servo over his intake in order to prevent himself from crying out. He frantically shook his helm and held his servos out as he backed up. An expression of pure hurt passed over Bulkhead's faceplate at the rejection. Miko stood on his shoulder and watched in horror as Bulkhead began to lope forward and out of their hiding spot.

They couldn't be seen, they couldn't, if the Decepticons caught them—

Starscream sent desperate comm after comm to Bulkhead.

_"Stay back!"_

Bulkhead shuffled his way through the foliage and at any moment now he'd be out in the open air, bare and exposed and so so _vulnerable._

_"Come back!"_ Bulkhead cried out over their comms. His entire frame shook and his optics rapidly flickered on and off. He had no clue where he was or what was going on—but he did understand one thing.

Starscream was leaving him again.

_"Come backkkk!"_

Starscream had left him behind on the ice sheet, and now he was being left behind all over again.

_"No, no, Bulkhead, you stay right there, slag it!"_

Breakdown drove right past the trees. The rumble of his engine shook the ground and made Bulkhead freeze.

_"Come back, Star, come back to me,"_ he whispered over their comms.

Starscream shook his helm and wiped coolant from his faceplates. The ground rumbled as Knock Out and Breakdown drove closer and closer to the trees and the hill.

_"Please!"_ Bulkhead pleaded.

"Come out, you afthead!" Breakdown shouted into the air. "Megs won't be happy if we fail to bring you back, and I—and I—"

His voice broke off in a growl. Breakdown began to drive right at the trees.

"No, no no no," Starscream desperately whispered to himself.

_"Starscreammmm,"_ Bulkhead whispered over the comms. He stumbled over a fallen tree and was only a dozen feet away from the wide open.

"Slag it!" Starscream shouted. He ran over to the edge of the parking lot and hoisted a truck over his helm. Breakdown and Knock Out saw him and began to drive at him at full speed.

The truck creaked and groaned as he raised it above his helm—or was that the sound of his frame creaking and groaning?—and he felt something within him snap.

Bulkhead watched with wide optics as he stumbled his way forward. "Starrr?" he said out loud, right on the verge of the trees, right on the verge of discovery and death.

"Come and face us, Starscream!" Knock Out shouted as he and Breakdown transformed and brandished their weapons.

Starscream bit back a cry of pain as his entire frame shook with the effort of holding a truck above his helm. He faced Breakdown and Knock Out, tensed his entire frame—

Bulkhead clambered over the bushes and stuck one of his pedes right out into the open.

—and Starscream turned around and threw the truck right at the trees.

The truck slammed into the ground in front of the trees with a massive crash. It burst apart and sent a cloud of smoke and sparks into the air. Bulkhead recoiled away from the truck and looked at Starscream through the smoke.

"Star?" he whispered. He tried to push his way past the truck, but his frame shook too much to be able to do anything except helplessly grasp at it. Bulkhead stepped backwards and into the foliage as his field shook with the pain of rejection.

Starscream turned and ran and did not look back. The sound of Knock Out's electro-prod being activated sizzled through the air and the ground shook as Breakdown's pedes slammed across it.

Stracream ran up and tumbled down the hill. He didn't look back and ran along the walls of the stadium as Bulkhead watched on.

"Star?" he whispered to nobody. He watched Starscream vanish over the rise of the hill and watched Knock Out and Breakdown drive right after him.

Bulkhead stood there in the trees and watched as he was left behind again.

"Oh, Starscream…"

* * *

_"Where are you? Where are you?"_

_The bright white snow completely obscured his vision until all he could see was an endless expanse of pure white. Ice fell onto his frame in sharp flakes that dug into his plating, but that didn't matter—the only thing that mattered was Skyfire._

_And Skyfire was nowhere to be seen._

_His engines burned hot as he flew through the snow in circles and circles and circles. He sent out scan after scan across the cold white ice, but detected nothing. No spark signals, no comms for help, absolutely nothing._

_The wind buffeted against his frame and drove sharp shards of ice into his wings as he gunned his engines and flew to the top of the sky. The clouds briefly cleared and for a single moment, the entirety of the ice sheet was laid bare before him. Cold white plains of snow rolled on for as far as his optics could see. The peaks of mountains rose far off in the distance. Maybe that's where Skyfire was. Maybe the snow crashed into his frame and threw him off course and he flew off by accident—or maybe he had intentionally left Starscream behind. Maybe he was fine and had just flown off deep into the mountains, far far away. Maybe Skyfire was out there waiting for him, like all those other times Starscream had flown off and then returned to camp. _

_Maybe he was waiting._

_Or maybe he was dead._

_Starscream transformed back into his root-mode in mid-air. He plummeted and felt the shards of ice and wind slice past his frame as he fell back to the ground. He slammed onto the ground and sent a flurry of snow into the air as his pedes struck the ice sheet. At any moment he expected Skyfire to emerge from the cold wind, a worried look on his faceplate and concern in his field._

_But Skyfire was nowhere to be seen._

_"Come on, Sky, we need to go back!" Starscream called into the wind. The wind shrieked back._

_"Stop… stop messing around, we need to get back to Cybertron. We deposited the cylinder, we can go now!"_

_There was still no response. The only spark signal that appeared on Starscream's scanner was his own frantic sparkbeat._

_A second spark signal appeared._

_"Oh, oh Primus!" Starscream shrieked in joy. He ran right to where the signal had originated from. Each one of his frantic pedesteps sent a flurry of snow into the air as he ran into the blizzard in which the life signal had appeared._

_Skyfire could be hurt, he could be alone, he could be looking for him—_

_A silhouette appeared amidst the snow. Starscream felt a strange chill run down his struts, but that was probably just the wind. He let out a laugh of pure joy and ran right towards the silhouette._

_"Skyfire, Skyfire, Skyfire—"_

_A large servo shot out and grabbed ahold of his neck cables. Starscream was hoisted into the air until his pedes dangled underneath him. His captor turned around as a new flurry of snow blew out of the sky. Two bright red optics shone through the thick snow and glared right at him._

_"Seeker."_

_Panic rose up within Starscream. He kicked the sharp points atop his knees into the abdomen of the Enforcer. Starscream dropped into the snow and ran from the enraged Enforcer and his reaching servos._

_He had to find Skyfire and fast, they had been found, all he had to do was just find Skyfire and then the two of them could fly off to freedom—_

_Another pair of bright red optics shone from within the blizzard._

_Then another._

_And another._

_And another._

_A ring of red optics stared at him from within the dark snow. The Enforcers lifted their weapons and the sound of a dozen charged up blaster barrels whirred through the night._

_Starscream turned around in a circle and stared at each of the Enforcers with wide optics._

_"UNDER THE NAME OF SENTINEL PRIME—"_

_Starscream offlined his optics. "I'm so sorry, Skyfire," he whispered. He stood up tall and tried not to shake as the Enforcers closed in around him._

_"YOU SHALL BE ARRESTED—"_

_One of the Enforcers lunged at him. Starscream just barely dodged him and was thrown back into the snow._

_"—FOR MURDER."_

_Starscream transformed and took off into the sky right as a volley of blaster bolts struck the snow where he had just stood. He flew faster and faster into the sky until the only sound he could hear was the shriek of the icy wind past his frame and the pulse of his terrified spark in his chestplates._

_The Enforcers flew after him, but Starscream wasn't worried about that. He could outfly them any day he wanted to._

_Skyfire, however, could not._

_Skyfire wouldn't be able to avoid them. Skyfire wouldn't be able to flee. Skyfire could die._

_Skyfire was probably_ already _dead._

_Starscream flew off into the dark night and promised himself that he would return. He'd return, he'd find Skyfire, and the two of them would fly off back to Cybertron._

_"Together forever," Skyfire's words whispered in his helm._

_The bright stars of Cybertron shone brightly above his helm._

_"I'll come back for you, I'll come back for you. Oh, Skyfire," Starscream said as he left his friend behind._

* * *

The stadium loomed tall within the night. Bright lights flashed in the sky and the ground shook as the monster trucks within the stadium thudded around. Alarms blared as the fire from the monster truck outside the stadium erupted and exploded again.

Starscream ran deeper into the wilderness. The tree branches sliced past his frames and his rapid pedesteps made dust and dirt fly into the air, but he noticed none of that. The only thing Starscream noticed was the silence—he'd gotten so used to hearing Bulkhead mutter on, and now the Wrecker was lost to him.

"I'll come back for you, I'll come back for you. Oh, Bulkhead," Starscream moaned. Fear closed in around his spark. He had no idea what to do. If he went back to Bulkhead and Miko, Knock Out and Breakdown would find them and capture them too. Maybe Miko had managed to successfully get a signal and call for help. Maybe she and Bulkhead were peacefully resting in the medbay as Starscream ran for his life.

Or maybe Megatron had found them both and killed them.

Starscream pressed himself tight to the wall of the stadium as the ground rumbled. Breakdown and Knock Out drove right past him at full speed.

Starscream waited for them to pass and let out a vent of relief. He couldn't return to the Autobots, but he could hide in the wilderness. He deserved to become an outcast. It was his fault Bulkhead was even like this in the first place.

Breakdown and Knock Out's tires screeched to a halt. Starscream froze and pressed his frame back against the stadium as he heard them transform.

"What are you doing here?" Knock Out said to somebody. He tried to hide the fear in his voice, but Starscream could tell that he was scared. Starscream knew what it was like to hide your fear.

There was no response. The air buzzed.

"Oh, Starscream," Bulkhead's voice said.

Starscream's helm swiveled around and his optics scanned the dark trees.

"Oh, Starscream," he said again. The lights within the stadium flashed and briefly lit up the entire forest. For a single second, the night was day and Starscream was able to clearly see a silhouette within the trees.

No. Bulkhead had _followed _him, that idiot. Starscream moaned and held his helm in his servos. He couldn't be here, he'd blocked the Wrecker's way with a truck—and somehow, the Wrecker had managed to break free.

A chill spread through Starscream's struts—the chill was probably just the wind, though. He quickly ran out into the open and into the trees as Bulkhead's voice echoed around him.

"Starscream, oh Starscream."

"Where are you?" Starscream hissed. "Come on you big oaf, we need to get back to base—"

"Why'd you leave me?" Bulkhead said softly. Starscream looked around for him, but saw nothing but dark trees all around him.

"I… I had to…"

"No, you didn't," Bulkhead said. His words were so soft, yet cut so deeply.

"I had to!" Starscream shrieked as he swivelled around. Bulkhead's voice whispered at him from all directions. "I left you in order to _protect _you."

"You left me so that you could protect yourself!"

"Slag it!" Starscream punched a tree. Splinters flew everywhere and scattered across his frame as he breathed heavily. "Don't… don't make this difficult. Please, where are you?"

"I am here. I am there. I am everywhere."

"Cut the scrap, Bulkhead, and let's just leave, _please,_ we're being hunted!"

"I am not just Bulkhead."

Starscream leaned his helm against the tree and took a shaky vent. "Right… Skyfire."

"I am not just Skyfire, either."

Something blue shimmered in the trees. Dread coiled in Starscream's tank and he looked behind him. Skyfire stood before him with a frown. His frame shimmered and wavered and suddenly, Skyfire was gone and Bulkhead stood in his place. Their two frames then began to rapidly appear and overlap each other. Green armor was replaced with white armor, the badge of the Explorers League was replaced with the Autobot badge, wings and wheels rapidly appeared and disappeared—but the sad blue optics always stayed the same. Always.

"I'm not just Skyfire," the mech said. "I'm everybody you've ever _failed_."

Thundercracker and Skywarp shimmered into existence and stood beside him.

"Oh no, no no no," Starscream whimpered. He turned around and began to run back to the stadium as quickly as he possibly could. Bulkhead and Skyfire's combined laughter echoed after him as he ran through the trees.

The trees rustled and another mech came into view. Starscream's entire frame locked up and he felt his helm grow light and dizzy.

"You look like slag, Star!" Skywarp said.

Thundercracker rolled his optics. "We haven't seen our trine leader in years, and the first thing you do is insult him?"

This couldn't be happening. They were dead, they were dead, their frames were cold and grey buried amongst their brethren in the ashes of Vos, not here, not alive, not _looking right at him—_

Bulkhead's servo closed around his arm like a vice. Starscream turned around and came faceplace-to-faceplate with Bulkhead. Fear hung thick in his EM field like a foul odor and he tightened his grip on Starscream's arm.

_"I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here," _he droned on. His intake said one thing, but his optics said another. He offlined his optics and his entire frame shuddered as his vocalizer sputtered out. He opened his intake and tried to say a warning, something, anything, but the only words that came out were—

_"My end is near. I can feel it."_

He tightened his grip on Starscream's arm even more. Starscream yelped as his arm plating dented under the Wrecker's tight grip. "Bulkhead, let go of me! Are you even the real Bulkhead?"

Skywarp laughed. "Aww, he clings to you like a sick turbopuppy!"

"They're—they're not _real, _Star!" Bulkhead shouted.

Thundercracker glared at Bulkhead. "Don't listen to the murderer of our people."

Bulkhead snarled at something in the air. "Get out of here, Laserbeak!"

Something purple flashed right behind him. Starscream whirled around and came faceplate-to-faceplate with Skywarp. His joyous and jovial expression was now completely gone. Skywarp's black servos reached forward and tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's cockpit. He crushed the thin glass like it was nothing. The glass of Starscream's cockpit shattered and rained down over his frame.

"You're not _real!_" Starscream hissed out as he kicked with his pedes. Another servo landed on his shoulder and it was definitely _not _Bulkhead's. Bulk's was warm and heavy and comforting, and this servo was cold and sharp, it wasn't Thundercracker's, it _couldn't _be—

"We _are _real," Thundercracker said as he leaned forward. His tight grip on Starscream's pauldron made the metal under his servos dent.

"The real T-thundercracker would've never hurt me!" Starscream kicked out. He kicked and clawed and scratched, but his limbs just harmlessly passed through their frames and made them shimmer and become transparent.

_"My end is near. I can feel it," _Bulkhead whispered.

"No! _No! My_ end is near, I can feel _that!_ Let me go!" Starscream shrieked.

Soundwave emerged from the trees. His visor flared and he walked away and back to the stadium. Thundercracker and Skywarp dragged Starscream out of the trees as he kicked and screamed. They dropped him in the dirt beside the stadium.

Starscream coughed and tried to run, but both of his trinemates held him down. Soundwave crouched in front of Starscream and lifted the dirtied Seeker's helm.

"LOOK," he said flatly. He moved aside and Starscream's optics widened.

The monster truck that he exploded earlier was now a full-on inferno. Massive blood-red flames as bright as the sun burned high in the sky in a pillar of fire. Starscream watched in horror as it burned on and on and on.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID," Soundwave said. Bulkhead stood beside him with Miko on his shoulder. He didn't notice the massive fire, or the stadium, or even all of the holoforms—the only thing he could stare at was Starscream.

"I didn't… I didn't mean to cause this much damage," Starscream whimpered.

Thundercracker sighed and shook his helm. "Oh, nobody means to do this much harm, but… some people are just naturally destructive, don't you agree, 'Warp?"

Skywarp nodded. "Absolutely! Look what you did Starscream! You got us killed, you got Skyfire killed, you got Bulkhead killed, and now you went and literally created an _inferno._"

Starscream bit back a sob and tried to stand up again, but his trinemates forced him back down into the earth. Bulkhead wandered around as he muttered, the lights in the stadium continued to flash, the inferno blazed on, and Breakdown and Knock Out—

Starscream looked over at them. The both of them stared at the fire behind Starscream in horror—no, wait, Starscream looked closer—they were not staring at the first behind him, they were staring at _him. _Pure cold fear vibrated within their fields and they both stepped back from Soundwave as he walked around the Seeker like a hungry shark.

Soundwave crouched down again and grabbed ahold of both sides of Starscream's helm again. His visor lit up with a bright flash and an image of a familiar ice sheet appeared on the screen.

"No," Starscream moaned. "No, no, slag it, I never want to see that awful place ever again!"

Footage began to play on Soundwave's visor. Icy wind blew across the ice sheet upon the screen and an Enforcer came into view. The Enforcers all stood upon the ground and watched as a silhouette of a shuttle crashed hard into the ground.

Starscream was completely frozen. Coolant streamed down his faceplate as he watched the footage of Skyfire's crash loop itself over and over again.

"Why do you have this?" he whispered.

Alarms began to blare. Red lights flashed all across the stadium and the cries of a thousand dismayed humans echoed into the air.

"They're evacuating the stadium because of the fire, Sounders!" Knock Out shouted. "We can't be discovered, we need to hide!"

Soundwave rapidly glanced back and forth between the stadium and Starscream's tear-tracked faceplate. He tightly grabbed ahold of the Seeker's arm and began to drag Starscream along with him.

A sign with the word EXIT on it lit up bright red. Starscream wrenched his arm free of Soundwave's tight grasp with a shriek. He stumbled backwards into the dirt and away from Soundwave.

"Do you hear that, Soundwave?!" he shrieked. The siren of a fire truck blared in the air and lights flashed on the road. "We're about to have company!"

Soundwave growled and lunged forward, but Breakdown's put his servo on his shoulder and stopped him. "We gotta go, Boss!"

"NEED TO CAPTURE—NEED THE DATA—NEED TO SEE STARSCREAM _DESTROY_ HIMSELF—"

Miko jumped down from Bulkhead and ran in front of Starscream as she waved her arms around. "Hey, Slenderbot! Frag off!"

Soundwave looked between Starscream and the fire trucks in the distance. There was no way he could capture the Seeker and the Wrecker, steal the data, and bridge them all back to the Nemesis in time before they were discovered.

Soundwave made a staticky hissing noise and stepped back. "Go ahead. Run. _Run_."

Starscream grabbed Miko and Bulkhead's servo and ran.

"I still can't get a signal, Star!" Miko shouted up at him.

"Frag!" he swore. He looked around for any sign of cover, any, and saw the shapes of some side buildings off in the distance. He squeezed Bulkhead's servo and led him off. Soundwave, his trinemates, and Knock Out and Breakdown watched them flee. The inferno continued to blaze and lit the entire area in blood-red light as Starscream fled.

_"My end will bring about yours, my end will bring about yours…" _Bulkhead laughed.

* * *

_"Oh, I don't like this," Starscream whimpered. The mouth of an open cave sat in the snow in front of him, a pocket in the ice that broke apart the endless white plain of pure nothingness that was the ice sheet._

_It was his best bet at rescuing Skyfire, though. So in he went._

_He crawled into the icy cave and maneuvered his frame past the frozen icicles that hung from the low ceiling and he shuffled his wings between the icy curved walls of the cave. The sun's faint glow and the shine of his blue optics lit up the ice within the cave. The ice reflected the glow and made the air shimmer a faint blue color. The wind moaned outside and made the icicles right above his helm rattle as he went in deeper and deeper._

_He wanted to escape, to burst out of the cave and back to the surface—but if he left the cave behind, then he'd probably be leaving Skyfire behind. Skyfire had always gone back for him._

_So he needed to go back for Skyfire._

_He cast out scan after scan into the cold icy darkness as he went deeper and deeper into the confines of the narrow claustrophobic cave. The ice all around him creaked and groaned as he shakily crawled deeper into it. He felt like at any moment the icy roof of the cave would slam down and trap him there in the cold depths with Skyfire's dead frame. _

_But he had to find Skyfire, he had to. He ignored his intense claustrophobia and whimpered as he crawled in deeper._

_A signal appeared on his scanner._

_Starscream froze cautiously. It could be the signal of his brother, or the signal of another Enforcer. He took a deep vent and walked deeper into the cold caverns. The only light came from his blue optics and made the ice shine and reflect the pure blue light. He prayed to Primus that at any moment he'd see the prone frame of Skyfire, pure and whole and just asleep. Just asleep. Not dead, because if he lost Skyfire then Starscream had no idea what he'd do next._

_The signal came from a block of ice right up ahead. Starscream lunged at it and slammed his talons into the ice. He ripped it away with his bare talons and sunk his digits into the sharp block to pry it apart. He hacked at it and slashed at it and struck it over and over again as it cracked more and more beneath his onslaught._

_"Come on," Starscream gritted out as a crack began to form in the ice._

_"Please, Skyfire, please," he pleaded as he wrenched his talons into the gap and began to pull it apart._

_His entire frame shook with the effort. He dug his talons in deeper right as the sharp ice dug into his digits. Pain shot through his talons and he felt something wet drip down them, but that didn't matter because the only thing that did matter was Skyfire, dear sweet Skyfire, dead Skyfire—_

_His talon brushed against something hard and he gasped. He kicked at the ice block with the sharp tip of his pede and it split into two cold glistening halves. Starscream lunged forward and reached his arms around the cold metal he felt within the ice and he _pulled_._

_He fell backwards onto the ground and laid on his back in the cold ice cave. He stared up at the icy ceiling in a daze and shakily lifted both of his talons up before his optics. The tips of his talons were cracked and splintered and energon dripped down them and onto his faceplate. Something beeped beside him and he turned to see what he had unearthed._

_His spark froze._

_It was the cylinder._

_Hot anger rose up within his spark and he jumped to his pedes._

_"No, no, slag it, I don't care about you, I only care about him!" he shrieked._

_The cylinder said nothing in response and just sat there on the ground. The bright red glow of the data within it lit up the entire cave in bright red. Starscream shouted in rage and kicked it. He fell to his knees in the ice and offlined his optics as his energon dripped out from the cracks in his servos._

_He did not know it was possible to hate an object so much. An object he and Skyfire had worked so hard to create. The formula was meant to bring life, not end it, yet it had taken Skyfire's life._

_"Someone's down there!" a voice shouted. The echoes of more voices reverberated around Starscream's helm and the ice cave shook as more bots clambered down into it._

_Starscream did not hear their shouts, or the creak of the ice around him, or the heaves of his own vents. The only thing he could still hear was the quiet beep of the cylinder as it beeped on and on and on._

_Skyfire still had to be somewhere nearby. Hope bloomed within his tight chestplate and he shakily rose back to his pedes. He stumbled past the block of ice covered in his spilt energon and wandered deeper into the black, icy, and very claustrophobic ice cave. Skyfire had to be here, he had to be. He had the cylinder in his cargo bay when he crashed, which meant he had to be somewhere near. All Starscream had to do was find him. He grit his dentae and crawled deeper into the cave. He didn't care if he split apart all of his talons or even his entire frame—all that he cared about was Skyfire, Skyfire, Skyfire—_

_"There he is!" the voice shouted. Starscream's helm whipped around and his breath left his vents in a cold gasp. The ice cave was full of Enforcers. The bright red glow of their optics lit up the entire cave in harsh contrast as they stomped towards him._

_Starscream shrieked and threw himself deeper into the cave. The ice pressed in around him even closer and made his spark pulse and his gasps come even harder, but he had to keep going forward—not for his sake, but for Skyfire's._

_He emerged into a larger chamber within the cave and his optics widened. A large wall of ice stood before him. The bright blue glow of his optics shone upon something larged embedded within the ice. Whatever it was, it wasn't natural._

_"I found you!" Starscream laughed as coolant streamed down from his optics and froze on his faceplate. "Hold still, just hang in there, I've got you, Sky, I've got you, please hold on—"_

_He slammed his servos against the ice and shoved the bloody tips of his shredded talons into a thin crack in the ice block. Cold pain shot through his entire frame, but he had to keep digging, he had to free Skyfire—_

_The ice creaked and groaned as something within it shifted. _

_"Skyfire!"_

_"Murderer."_

_Two large servos tightly grabbed ahold of his shoulders and wrenched him back. His talons fell out of the ice crack and the ice settled as it closed in again._

_"No, no, let me go, slag it, let me go!" Starscream shrieked as two Enforcers hauled him away from the ice block. A faint life signal appeared on his scanner again and pinged away. It was weak and faint, but it was alive._

_"He's alive, don't you see that? We need to free him!" Starscream shouted at the Enforcers. They harshly dragged his frame across the jagged icy ground and away from Skyfire. He desperately reached his talon towards Skyfire, but then an Enforcer blocked his view and Skyfire was lost to him again._

_"We need to _imprison _you," one of the Enforcers snarled in his faceplate. They grabbed the data cylinder as they dragged Starscream out of the cave._

_"You're supposed to bring justice! So then free my friend, he's done nothing wrong!"_

_They emerged from the ice cave and back onto the surface. Starscream was thrown to the snowy ground. The two Enforcers squinted at the cylinder suspiciously._

_"So that's what Sentinel is in a fuss about?" one of them said._

_Starscream shakily crawled towards the entrance to the ice cave. If he was quick and quiet then maybe—_

_"Whatever, we don't need to worry about this and that stupid shuttle anymore. Hey, what are you doing?" the other Enforcer said. He kicked out with his pede and struck Starscream hard. Starscream rolled across the snow and away from the ice cave. He tasted energon in his intake._

_The first Enforcer sighed. "Oh, he just won't give up, will he?"_

_The second snorted. "Warframes. Take the thing, I've got this." The second Enforcer handed the cylinder over to the first one and stood in front of the ice cave. The first one walked over to Starscream's prone frame and pulled Starscream up onto his knees._

_"You caused us a lot of trouble, you know that?" he hissed to Starscream._

_"You deserved all of it," Starscream hissed right back._

_"Doesn't matter. None of it matters. This is what you get for trying to hide the synth-en from us."_

_"Sentinel doesn't deserve to have it, he'd just abuse it! It's ours!"_

_"Whose?"_

_"Skyfire and I's!"_

_The Enforcer hummed. "Seems now like it's just _your _formula. Your friend's dead."_

_"No, he's not!"_

_"He's about to be."_

_The second Enforcer stood tall in front of the entrance to the ice cave. His arms clicked and whirred as they transformed into blasters. He pointed them right at the cave—_

_"Skyfire!" Starscream shrieked._

_—and fired a volley of hot red blaster bolts into the cave's depths. _

_The entrance to the cave fell inward and the ground shook and rumbled as the entire underground system of caves collapsed beneath their pedes._

_The second Enforcer laughed and came back over to the first one. They congratulated each other, but Starscream saw none of it. He continued to stare at the snow where the cave had been in pure horror._

_The faint life signal on his scanner beeped once. Then twice._

_It did not beep a third time._

_Something red shone in the corner of his vision and he slowly turned his helm to look at the cylinder. It sat there innocently, harmlessly, as if it wasn't the reason someone had just died._

_Starscream felt something within him snap. He whirled around and lunged. Energon sprayed into the cold air and the Enforcers shrieked as Starscream fell upon them._

_He viciously tore into the two mechs with the kind of mad grief that only a grieving mech can muster. Armor parted and plating cracked and protoform tore under his talons as he violently ripped into the two mechs who dared to steal Skyfire from him._

_He didn't know how long he sat there and clawed, ripped, and destroyed them._

_Starscream rolled backwards into the snow and felt the cylinder roll up against his side. He squinted up at the sky and the bright blue stars in which Cyberton was in. That was strange. The sun had been up when he had gone into the cave, and yet now the stars were out. Starscream shakily raised his helm and squinted. _

_The two bloodied frames of the Enforcers sat broken in the snow._

_Something dripped down Starscream's chestplate and he looked down. Bright blue energon was completely smeared across his entire frame. Most of it wasn't his._

_"Promise me you'll never hurt anybody ever again," Skyfire had said to him what felt like a million years ago. "Promise me."_

_Starscream froze._

_"Promise me," Skyfire had said._

_"I promise," Starscream had said right back._

_He slowly turned around and looked back at the bloodied frames of the Enforcers. A sob rose up within his frame and burst out of him._

_"I promised you, Skyfire, I promised you we'd be together forever and t-that I'd never hurt anybody ever and look what happened—I hurt _everybody_." Starscream sobbed and grabbed ahold of the cylinder and clutched it to his bloodied chestplate. He hated it, hated it so much and just wanted to tear it apart—but it was the last remnant of Skyfire he still had. _

_Skyfire had died so that the cylinder could live._

_So by Primus, Starscream would ensure that the cylinder and the information on it would live._

_He shakily rose to his pedes and stepped past the ruined frames of the Enforcers. He walked into the blizzard as he tightly held the cylinder to his chestplate. If he offlined his optics, he could almost pretend that the beep of the cylinder was the beep of Skyfire's spark signal._

_Almost._

* * *

"Don't die on me yet," Starscream grunted as he pulled Bulkhead along. An abandoned cluster of buildings and bleachers sat right ahead of them. The bright red emergency lights of the stadium flashed and flared and made the bleaches cast sharp shadows onto the ground.

"Hide in there," Starscream wheezed as he guided Bulkhead underneath the tall structure.

"Oh, Starscream," Bulkhead whispered. He tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's dirtied helm in his shaky servos and pressed his forehelm to the Seeker's. "I have one last log, one last message for you, just one more to recite and then I will be done—"

"Slag it, Bulkhead, we do not have _time _for this!" Starscream hissed. He tried to pry himself free of the Wrecker's grip, but Bulkhead's hold on him only tightened.

"You left me," he said quietly, so so quietly that Starscream's audials had to strain to hear him. "You _left _me. So don't leave me again."

Starscream froze. "I… I…"

"I can't get a signal!" Miko whined from her perch on Bulkhead's shoulder.

Starscream took a deep vent and forced down the raw panic he felt coiled around his spark. Alone in the dark night, hunted by Decepticons, and stuck with a shell of a mech.

But he'd been through worse. So much worse.

_—the Senate had been in full session that day—_

Starscream grabbed ahold of Miko and placed her on the ground.

"Listen, Miko, I…" he trailed off. He stared into the dark wilderness that stretched beyond. "If the Decepticons get us, then they will capture you too. And Bulkhead made me promise that you would be safe. So if we are found—"

"I am _not _leaving!" Miko shouted as she pounded her little fists on the tip of Starscream's pede.

"Yes, if things do come to that, promise me you will run and go somewhere where there is actually a signal!"

"Nope! No promises!"

Starscream's wing flared and pain shot through it. "Why you little—!"

"Everybody else in your life has walked out on you, but I'm not gonna be one of 'em. I'm staying with you."

Starscream fell silent. "I…"

Something shimmered in the corner of his vision.

His helm whipped around as a Seeker glowed within the shadows. It was a fake holographic Seeker, it had to be, but he didn't know who the hologram was supposed to be of. He tensed his frame and prepared himself to look into the faceplate of Thundercracker or Skywarp.

The holoform glowed in the air and stepped into view.

Starscream's spark froze. He didn't know her name. He never had a chance to learn it. He only remembered holding her as she died.

"Do you remember me?" the unknown Seeker asked. "Remember how when Vos was bombed, you found me in the rubble? Do you remember me?"

Starscream held perfectly still. "I…"

Thundercracker and Skywarp shimmered into existence beside her. Then another Seeker appeared next to them.

Then another.

And another.

And another.

Starscream's helm swivelled around in horror as he looked around at the hundreds of Seekers around him. More and more came into existence with each moment and each one glared at him. They were everywhere—-they were on the floor, hidden in the rafters, in front of the exit—_everywhere_.

"You're not real!" Starscream snarled at them. "You're all dead!"

Some of them were solid, but some of them disappeared the moment he looked at him. They all glared down at him from above with cold red optics.

"Do you remember what happened in the Senate that day, Starscream?" Skywarp whispered as he slid up beside Starscream. "D'ya?"

Starscream offlined his optics and clutched onto Bulkhead. He shoved his faceplate into the green curves of the Wrecker's armor and tried to turn his audials as low as they could go so that he didn't have to listen to the dead voices all around him.

Skywarp's field flared with anger. "Do. You?"

Miko ran up to him as she wildly waved her arms around in the air. "Shoo, shoo, go away you fake freak!"

Thundercracker knelt down and smiled at her. It was all teeth. "Another sparkling… I bet you'll fail to save this one too, Starscream."

Starscream grabbed Miko and Bulkhead's servo and ran. He frantically looked around for the large hole in the wall through which they had entered. The hundred Seekers up above in the rafters all whispered and murmured and laughed to themselves as Starscream desperately searched for an escape.

A beam of bright red light shone onto the ground. Starscream turned a corner and saw the large hole in the wall through which they had entered—

It was completely blocked with Seekers. Thundercracker and Skywarp spread their wings wide over the exit.

Starscream whimpered and immediately began to back up.

"Oh, look, he's leaving us again," Thundercracker laughed bitterly. "Nothing new here."

Starscream began to shake. "No, no, no no no—"

"Starscream!" a small voice shouted.

He backed up into a large column and looked up at all of the dead Seekers in horror.

"Star. Scream!" the voice cried out again.

Miko ran up to him and kicked his pede. He wiped the coolant from his faceplates and glared down at her.

"What?!" he snapped.

"Star…" she said softly. Unlike the other times she had spoken to him, there was no mockery in her voice, no judgement or anger or cockiness. "They're not real."

"They're _right there, _how could they not be?!"

Miko shook her head. "They are only as real as you allow them to be."

Starscream's optics widened. "I allowed them to die. I didn't meant to get them killed, I didn't, I didn't—"

"Hey, hey, calm down, calm down! Starry, your trinemates aren't out there—" she pointed at the doorway, "—they're… _there._" She pointed at his helm.

"I'm… not following…"

Miko groaned loudly and dragged her hands down her face. "Eugh! I know it's cheesy, but it's true, slag it! Those… weird hologram thingies? Fake. So fake. But _you're _real. _I'm _real. And Bulkhead is in very very very _real_ danger. And you can't stay here and keep getting' all spooked over your dead friends, 'cause if you do, you'll have _another _dead friend right there!" She pointed right at Bulkhead and the blank expression on his faceplate.

Thundercracker and Skywarp glared at her and began to stomp toward them. The giant monster truck on fire outside cast a harsh red glow everywhere. Starscream looked down. His frame cast a shadow—

—he looked up again. But Thundercracker and Skywarp's frames did not. The inferno's red light shone right through their frames. Their frames shimmered and became semi-transparent for a moment before they became opaque again.

"The scraplet is right," Starscream whispered to himself. "You're not real."

Thundercracker growled at him. "I _am _real! My death was real!"

Starscream took a deep vent and grabbed ahold of Bulkhead's servo again. He picked Miko up and tightly held her in one talon and Bulkhead's servo in the other. She looked up at him and smiled as Thundercracker ranted on.

"You were there, you saw me die!" he shouted.

Starscream tensed his frame and looked out through the exit his trinemates blocked.

Thundercracker stomped his pede onto the ground. "You are the _reason I DIED—"_

Starscream ran right through his frame with Bulkhead in tow. Thundercracker's frame became transparent and it shimmered with light as Starscream leaped right through it. He and Bulkhead burst free of the building and ran back into the open night air. The bright red glow of the hundred Seeker's optics flared and then vanished as one. Thundercracker and Skywarp stood back and watched in shock as Starscream ran from them.

"New strategy, new strategy!" Starscream panickedly said to himself as he dragged Bulkhead behind him to the very back of the stadium.

"Signal's still not working!" Miko shouted from his servo.

Alarms continued to blare as the last of the humans evacuated out of the other side of the stadium. The sound of their collective screams rang into the air and echoed around in Starscream's helm. The last time he had heard screams like that—

—no, he couldn't afford to think about what happened to Vos right now. Not now, not ever again.

"The back entrance! The stadium should be evacuated now, I'm sure they have better reception in there! Let's go into the back entrance, Starry!" Miko shouted up at him.

Starscream said nothing. He stared up at the stars in which Cybertron was in with wide optics. His grip on Bulkhead's servo tightened and his entire frame began to shake harder.

"Starry?" Miko whispered.

"Do you remember, Starscream? I have one last log for you, but I fear to say it out loud right now in case the Enforcers overhear—"

The Enforcers. They had been there when Vos was bombed. The screams of the humans continued to echo into the night and pierce his audials. The screams. The _screams. _When Vos was bombed, there had been so many of them.

"This is not Vos!" Miko shouted up at him. "This is some freakin' monster truck rodeo in the middle of nowhere! There's no bombing, Starry, no Vos, none of that. They're alive!"

Starscream looked down at her. "But then why… why are they screaming… unless they're being _killed_?"

Miko shook her head as the wail of a fire truck's siren echoed through the air. "They're just scared, Starry. They're alive, but they're very scared. You know what it's like to be scared."

Starscream offlined his optics and took a deep and shuddery vent. "I do. I know what it's like very w-well."

"So then let's get into the stadium, Starry. Let's get somewhere a bit safer so you can stop being scared."

* * *

"Ohhh, I don't like this," Starscream whimpered.

"Shush, it'll be fine," Miko sighed.

"Everything will be fine, everything will be fine," Bulkhead muttered nonstop.

The three of them walked through the tall and dark halls of the stadium. The alarms continued to blare, but the sounds of the human's screams were now gone and now the only sound beside the alarms was the labored heave of Starscream's vents.

"Where are we?" Starscream said as he looked around at the massive hallway they were in. The tall ceiling loomed over them and the floor was completely covered in skid marks. Piles of supplies and paint cans sat scattered around their pedes.

"A hallway built for monster trucks, Star! Any of this look familiar to you, Bulk?" Miko said.

Bulkhead tightly held Starscream's talon as he shuffled forward behind the Seeker. His blue optis stared straight ahead and his field hung cold and dead around his dirtied frame.

"Once. Maybe. Is this Iacon?"

Starscream and Miko sighed. This was fine. This was _fine. _If Starscream kept telling himself that, then maybe he'd believe it. Maybe.

The three of them emerged from the tunnel and into the actual arena itself. An enormous dirt pit with monster trucks scattered all over it sat ahead of the three of them. Tall towers completely ringed the entire stadium and each tower had a massive light on it that shone like a sun onto the dirt ground below. The ground was covered in the deep tracks and gouges the large tires of the monster trucks had grinded into the ground. The trucks themselves sat tall and still upon the high dirt mountains in the center of the arena.

"This is…" Starscream whimpered. He had been in an arena like that in Kaon many years ago. The air had been filled with dirt and the stands had been packed with mechs and he saw _him _for the first time, his silver armor and his false promises—

"Awesome!" Miko whooped. "Don't you remember, Bulk? You always talked about wantin' to get down in the dirt pit so you could drive around with the monster trucks! Remember?"

"I remember the cold spires of Vos. I remember…" Bulkhead's optics widened as he looked at Miko. The little human didn't have an EM field, yet she still radiated pure hope.

Bulkhead's frame began to shake as he stepped out into the dirt arena. "I remember…"

His servos lashed out and he hugged Starscream from behind. "I remember _you, _Star. You and I, in Vos, doing science!"

"Oh, for Primus's sake!" Starscream yelped as he maneuvered his way out of Bulkhead's arms. He stomped off into the dirty stadium and held his helm in his servos as a deep growl rose up within his frame.

"Starry? Are you okay?" Bulkhead asked, so concerned, so sweet, so unaware of how much pain he was causing.

"I don't know what I have to do to get you to remember. That…" Starscream pointed his servo up at a monster truck, "_thing _is apparently supposed to help you."

Miko jumped down from Starscream's talon and continued to wave her arms around. "Surely you remember the big monster trucks and their flips and tricks and… and…"

Bulkhead wandered away from her and shuffled off across the fake sand dunes.

Starscream rested his forehelm against the cold dirty surface of a monster truck's tire. This wasn't how this was supposed to go—this wasn't how _any _of this was supposed to go.

"Do you not realize how often you do that?" Miko asked softly.

Starscream cracked an optic open. "Do what?"

"How often… how often you talk to yourself."

Normally the revelation that he had been airing his thoughts out loud would have mortified him—but now, it just made a sick sense of humor rise up within him. Starscream laughed bitterly and banged his helm against the monster truck tire.

"Oh, so now _both _Bulkhead and I have memory problems. Great."

Bulkhead continued to shuffle around the dunes and examine the sand. "Oh Starscream, do you remember the organic worlds we all visited, you and I together in the stars? Do you remember, do you remember?"

Those words echoed into Starscream's helm and replayed nonstop.

_Do you remember? Do you remember?_

His optic twitched.

_Do you remember?_

"I remember. It seems like I have to do all of the remembering for you," Starscream sighed to himself as he slid down and sat beside the monster truck tire.

Bulkhead—or was it maybe Skyfire?—turned around and stomped toward him. "I remember our adventures together, Star!"

"You remember Skyfire and I's adventures. But only_ I_ seem to remember all the times we had together, Bulkhead, and… wait a second."

Starscream shot to his pedes and grabbed Bulkhead's shoulders. "If you can't remember all of the times you and I had together, then I will just have to remember those times _for _you." It was a wild idea, an insane one, but it was the only one he could think of.

He sat Bulkhead down in the dirt and activated his comm line to the Wrecker. Starscream offlined his optics and mentally brought up every memory of every time he ever spent with Bulkhead. He thought of the times he spent with Bulkhead messing around in the base and the times he spent with Bulkhead out in the field of battle with dead mechs closing in on them. His frame shook as he brought up each data file of each memory out of the depths of his processor.

His optics shot open—-and he sent each memory over to Bulkhead.

"What are you doing now?" Miko asked.

Starscream sighed deeply. "I'm remembering."

Bulkhead received the incoming message from Starscream and his optics widened at the influx of memories within.

"I know… I know that messaging something as fragile as a memory is difficult, it's hard, but—it's my best bet, slag it! Tell me you remember something!" Starscream pleaded as he leaned in closer to Bulkhead.

Bulkhead's jaw dropped and he continued to numbly stare out into space.

"Oh, come on!" Starscream swore as he punched the dirt. "Do you remember our night in the woods? When we first saw the fake Skyfire?"

Bulkhead's optics began to rapidly flicker on and off. "I… I don't…"

"Do you remember all those paintings we made together? Do you, do you?"

"Starry…"

"D-do you remember how you caught me back in the river?"

No response.

Starscream punched the ground again and held Bulkhead's faceplate so that they were only a breath apart.

"Do you even remember _hating _me? Do you remember threatening to bash my helm in?! I would much rather have you remember that than nothing at all!"

Starscream's voice echoed into the night and reverberated through the air. He cringed as the sound of his shout floated throughout the entire stadium and into the night air.

Something banged off in the distance. Starscream's helm shot up and he scanned the vast rows of empty seats all around them. Breakdown emerged from one of the tunnels the monster trucks came out of with Knock Out by his side. Instead of the usual cocky look on their faceplates, they now had a cold and detached look Starscream couldn't see well. Knock Out whipped out his electro-prod and activated it, but he seemed much more hesitant to do so this time around.

"Let's play a game, Starscream," he said coldly.

"Oh, Primus," Starscream moaned. He pulled Bulkhead to his pedes and grabbed ahold of Miko again before he ran to the opposite side of the monster truck. He and Bulkhead crouched down behind one of the massive tires as Knock Out and Breakdown transformed and drove around the monster truck in circles. Dirt flew into the air in large clouds and their headlights swept across Starscream as they drove around and around him.

"Let's try and figure out how you're trying to manipulate Bulkhead this time," Knock Out laughed. "We've seen you play so many games with so many mechs over the years—so what's the game plan this time?"

"There's no game plan, you overwaxed buffoon!" Starscream shouted.

Knock Out skidded to a halt. "Oh, now you've really done it!" he growled.

"Are you manipulating him? Stupid question, of course you are. Are you trying to get something from him?" Breakdown asked as he drove right past Starscream.

"No!" Starscream shouted.

"Are you trying to get close to him so you can kill him?" Breakdown yelled at Starscream as he drove around for another past. His tires ground into the dirt and sent a spray of pebbles at Starscream's frame. Starscream yelped and stepped in front of Miko to protect her from the shower of rocks.

"Once again, no, now if you will both please just _listen _to me—"

"Well if you're not trying to kill him, what _are_ you trying to get from him?" Breakdown shouted as he aggressively swerved around and drove right at Starscream.

"He's my _friend!_" Starscream shrieked as Breakdown drove at him at full speed.

"Breaky, _stop!_" Knock Out screamed.

Breakdown slammed to a halt only inches away before Starscream's chestplate. He transformed and grabbed ahold of both of the Seeker's shoulders as he pulled him in close. Breakdown's field roiled with anger, but there was another familiar, yet hidden emotion there in the hot static that Starscream couldn't identify.

"...He's your friend?" he said after a few moments.

Starscream gulped down the panic in his throat and shakily nodded.

Breakdown took a deep vent. "This is low, even for _you. _Pretendin' to be somebody's friend—slag, what kind of relationship do you two even have? Are you mentoring him?"

Starscream bit his lip.

Breakdown shook him again. "C'mon! Is he mentoring _you_? Are you… lovers?"

"What?! No!" Starscream shouted as he kicked out with his pedes. Breakdown moved his legs apart to avoid Starscream's kicks.

"What? Father and son? Cousins? Is he your uncle? Are you _his_ uncle? What have you made him believe?!"

"Who are you?" Bulkhead asked.

Breakdown's helm shot up and he looked right at Bulkhead. "...Say that again."

"I said, who are you? Get your servos away from Star! Don't worry, Star, we'll be together forever, together forever, we'll get off this organic planet and be back at the Academy in no time."

Breakdown and Knock Out's jaws dropped and horror bloomed in their field. Cold rage pierced Breakdown's field and he slammed Starscream's dirtied frame up hard against the monster truck tire.

"What. Did you. Do to him?" he growled in the Seeker's faceplate.

Starscream was so scared that he could hardly speak. "I… I didn't do anything!"

_Lies, lies, _Skyfire's voice whispered in his helm. _Lies, lies, lies, all lies—_

"Well, you did _something!_" Breakdown shouted. "What's going on with his processor? What? What did you do to him? Why doesn't he… remember me?"

Starscream said nothing and stared up at Breakdown with breathless terror.

Bulkhead moved forward and stepped between Starscream and Breakdown.

"Leave my brother alone."

Breakdown's optics widened and he stumbled back. "You're… you're his brother. You're his new Wrecking Brother." It was not a question.

Starscream shrank behind Bulkhead's back and prayed to Primus that it would all stop.

"Answer the question!" Breakdown shouted.

"Yes?! Okay, _yes, _we're brothers! Are you happy now?!" he shouted back at Breakdown.

Breakdown stood frozen. "No. I'm not happy at all."

A dark shape stood upon the top of the monster truck. Soundwave intently watched the conflict down below. Laserbeak trilled and flew down from the air and landed on her Creator's shoulder.

"ARE YOU READY, CREATOR?" she whispered to him over their bond.

Soundwave did not move. He continued to just stare at Starscream's shaking form down below.

"CREATOR?"

Soundwave's servos clenched into fists. When had Laserbeak become like this? When did she begin to scheme and plot and manipulate bots? At what moment did this chance overcome her?

"THE NEXT STAGE IS READY, CREATOR."

Or was she always like this all along, and was he too blind to see that?

"DO YOU FEEL FEAR?" she asked Soundwave.

The answer was a _yes_. Fear for her, fear of what Megatron was turning into, and fear of Starscream. He did not want to admit it out loud—but he feared the Seeker. He did not fear the Seeker's strength, or his cunning mind—no, for some reason, Starscream scared Soundwave, and Soundwave did not know what that reason even _was._

"ARE YOU A COWARD, JUST LIKE STARSCREAM?" she whispered into his audial.

Soundwave slowly turned his helm to regard her. She stared right into her own reflection in his visor without flinching.

"I AM NO COWARD."

"THEN ENACT THE PLAN."

Soundwave bowed his helm. This is what Megatron wanted. This is what he ordered. Soundwave wanted nothing more than to just grab ahold of the Seeker and drag the traitor back to the Nemesis to be disposed of—-but his Lord was too insistent on reliving the past. This strategy had been used to dispose of the trine, so maybe it could be used to dispose of the Autobots.

Or maybe it would all just crash and burn, the same way the Nemesis had when Starscream had made it plummet into the ocean.

No, the Seeker had this coming. He ignored the twinge he felt inside of him as he activated his holoform generator.

Down below, Breakdown slammed Starscream up against the tire again.

"Why are you doing this?! Don't you two imbeciles see that the Decepticons are rotting away? Look at that they've turned into! Look at what _Megatron _has turned into!" Starscream shrieked.

"He's our Lord!" Breakdown shouted.

"He's insane! Is this why you joined the Decepticons?! To serve a madmech?!"

"He's still a better leader than you are!"

Starscream scoffed. "Who led the Decepticons while Megatron was away procrastinating in space? Who kept you fed and hidden while he was off searching for the essence of evil? Who organized a group of bots to rescue you from M.E.C.H? Who, Breakdown, _who_?"

Breakdown stopped slamming him against the tire and just stared at Starscream.

"He's easier to hate," he said softly.

"...What?"

The air buzzed. Starscream's helm shot up right as all of the empty stadium seats began to shimmer with light. The air glowed and wavered as holoforms appeared in all of the empty seats.

Breakdown, Knock Out, and Starscream all watched as the entire stadium went from being completely empty to completely full of mechs in a matter of seconds. A thousand pairs of optics in a thousand different hues stared down at them from their seats.

Starscream froze. These weren't the holoforms of Seekers. He saw Thundercracker and Skywarp there, yes, but this crowd wasn't from Vos.

"Why the slag did Sounders make the whole Senate appear in the seats?" Breakdown gasped.

Starscream remembered the Senate and Sentinel so well. Their cold glare, their aloof attitudes, the disdain in their voices as they looked down at him and said _Starscream, you have been convicted with murder—_

The Senate had been in full session that day, that awful awful day.

Sentinel Prime sat in a seat high above. The holoforms looked down at him so proudly, so arrogantly. That's not how they had looked the most recent time he had seen the Council. Not at all.

He remembered the fear in their optics as he had—no, he couldn't think about that.

"Do you remember?" Skyfire said. Starscream looked up and saw the alt-modes of his trinemates and of Skyfire up in the sky. They flew around one another and their wide wings blotted out the stars and cast shadows across the ground below.

"This is the kind of thing your Lord loves to create!" Starscream shouted at Breakdown and Knock Out as they continued to stare at the Senate in pure horror.

"I… what is this?" Knock Out whispered.

Bulkhead leaned forward and grabbed Starscream in his arms. He dragged Starscream behind the tire and underneath the monster truck. Both he and Miko looked up at Starscream in concern as the Seeker fell to his pedes and sat in the dirt.

"Don't worry, Star! One day somebody will overthrow the Council, one day, one day, one day, one—"

Starscream covered his audials with his servos and held back a sob.

* * *

_Heat washed over his frame. Starscream flew through the cold dark sky while completely surrounded by Enforcers. Enforcers flew directly behind and ahead of him, above him, and to the sides of him. He was completely caged in by their sharp and angular frames as they flew on through the sky._

_The dark silhouette of a spaceship became visible over the curve of the horizon. A jolt of fear shook Starscream and he briefly slowed down._

_"Hey!" the Enforcers in front of him shouted. He flew backwards and let the heat of his jet engines blast over Starscream. Starscream yelped and sped up again._

_Pure grief flowed in his field—but pure satisfaction flowed within the fields of the Enforcers around him. He wasn't a person according to them. He was a prize, something that had been won and earned. _

_The data cylinder beeped on and on. It wasn't in his cockpit, but in the cockpit of the Enforcer in front of him. The ship grew larger and larger on the horizon as they flew closer to it. He didn't know what would happen to him if he went aboard it—he didn't even know if he would ever get the opportunity to disboard it. Maybe they'd send him off to Kaon to work as a miner. Or maybe they'd bring him onto the ship and shoot him square in his chestplates._

_No, he needed to stay alive for Skyfire's sake. He didn't know what that dark shape he saw in the ice was. Maybe it was his brother, but maybe it was a delusional shadow borne out of paranoia._

_"Speed it up!" one of the Enforcers shouted. The Enforcer in front of him flew backward again and let the hot roar of his jet engines rumble across Starscream again. Starscream bit back a cry of pain and watched as his blue paint melted off his frame and down to the vast forest far down below._

_They had taken the cylinder. They _took _it from him, even though it was not theirs to take. It was his and Skyfire's, but Skyfire was gone, and so now it was just his—and by Primus he would make it his again._

_Skyfire's last words were on that thing. He had no idea what that actually meant, but that's what the shuttle told him. He might never get the opportunity to hear Skyfire spear ever again if that cylinder was lost to him._

_"Why do you keep slowing down?" the Enforcer in front of him sighed as he sent another blast of agonizing heat over Starscream's frame._

_The Enforcer flew backward and let the heat wash over his frame again, and again, and again until his entire frame felt like it was on fire. The spaceship up ahead loomed larger and larger against the stars until soon it cast a shadow over all of them as they flew up to it and—_

_"Promise me," Skyfire had said to him what felt like so many years ago, but was in reality just a few weeks ago. "Promise me you'll never hurt anybody ever again."_

_Energon dripped off Starscream's frame and fell down into the sky below like rain. It was not his energon. Skyfire had asked one thing of him, one promise, and he'd already broken it. His entire life was broken already._

_The Enforcer in front of him flew backward again—Starscream hadn't even slowed down this time—and sent another blast of heat and pure pain over Starscream._

_He'd had enough._

_Starscream transformed into his root mode and lunged right at the jet in front of him. He sunk his talons into the Enforcer's transformation seams and he screeched as he and Starscream fell out of the sky. The other Enforcers rained down a volley of hot plasma bolts, but Starscream sharply grabbed ahold of the Enforcer's nose cone and twisted them both around so that the bolts hit the Enforcer instead._

_The Enforcer also transformed into his root mode and the two of them plummeted through the sky in a tangled heap of limbs and talons._

_"You _stole _him from me!" Starscream screamed into the Enforcer's faceplate. He shoved his talons into the Enforcer's abdomen and pried apart his cargo bay. The data cylinder fell out and Starscream clutched it tightly in his arms._

_Something hard slammed into his back. A flurry of Enforcers swarmed over him and tried to grab him, but he kicked out hard against each and every one of them. Alarms began to blare in the spaceship and the launch bay doors opened as the dark angular shapes of more Enforcers flew out of them. _

_Starscream plummeted into a cloud layer. All he could see around him were the dark grey shadowy clouds. The only light came from the bright blue glow of his optics and the red glow of the cylinder clutched tightly in his bloodied and dirtied arms._

_He dared not make a noise or move at all as he fell down to the ground below. A vast forest stretched out beneath him and he knew instantly in that moment that he was completely and utterly lost. There was not a single piece of ice to be seen for miles around. Wherever he was, he was far from Skyfire._

_Starscream let out a keen of grief at the thought of his dead friend._

_That was all it took for his enemy to find him._

_The first Enforcer from earlier smashed into him and the two of them spiralled towards the ground. The Enforcer's energon dripped down and onto Starscream's frame as he tried to pry the cylinder out of Starscream's arms. Starscream held onto the cylinder for dear life. He could never let go, never, because to lose the cylinder would mean losing the last bit of Skyfire that still existed._

_"Let. Go," the Enforcer hissed as his optics gleamed blood-red._

_Starscream felt something wet stream down his faceplates. This mech was the reason Skyfire was dead, the reason he was buried under a hundred tons of ice in the middle of nowhere, the reason he and Skyfire were even on this wretched world in the first place._

_A hot anger rose up within him and overwhelmed his processor._

_"Promise me," Skyfire's voice whispered in his helm. _

_It would be easy to just lash out and rip away at the Enforcer's throat._

_"Promise me you won't hurt anybody," the voice echoed around and round in his helm. It sounded desperate now._

_The Enforcer kicked Starscream in the helm and ripped the cylinder right out of his arms. Lightning flashed around them and sizzled past their frames as the Enforcer grabbed the cylinder and held it triumphantly in one of his servos._

_"Kill me and kill the data with it."_

_Skyfire's voice repeated in his helm over and over again. "Promise me, promise me promise me promise—"_

_If he killed this Enforcer, then he could never hurt anybody else ever again. Starscream unsheathed his talons, prayed that Skyfire could forgive him, and lunged._

_The Enforcer's optics had only a fraction of a second to widen before Starscream's talons dug into his throat. Starscream instinctively offlined his optics as a hot plume of energon sprayed out of the dead bot's throat and across Starscream's faceplate._

_The cylinder slipped out of the Enforcer's limp servo. It plummeted through the dark storm clouds and down to the earth below._

_Starscream wiped the energon off of his faceplate and looked around for the cylinder._

_It was nowhere to be seen._

_Instant regret flooded Starscream's field._

_"Oh no, no no no," Starscream whimpered. He kicked the Enforcer's frame away and transformed before he then activated his engines at full speed. The hot lightning flashed again and briefly lit up the cylinder's silhouette as it tumbled down and down into the cloud tops. The lightning sizzled past his helm and completely disoriented his systems. His HUD flickered and flashed before it glitched out and vanished altogether._

_"Skyfire, please, no, I need to catch it, I need to catch it—!"_

_Starscream transformed into his root mode and reached his talon out toward the falling cylinder. The very tips of his digits grazed the cold metal—_

_—and pushed the cylinder deeper into the clouds. It vanished amongst a swell of clouds and disappeared into the gloom._

_"No!" Starscream shrieked. He had chosen, and he'd chosen wrong._

_He sent out desperate scan after scan into the storm clouds and detected nothing except for the angry life signals of the Enforcers far above. The clouds briefly parted and he looked up and saw the sharp dark shapes of the Enforcer's silhouettes up in the sky. They flew around in circles and prowled the clouds like hungry hawks as they searched for Starscream._

_He wanted to scream, he wanted to go down into the forest and destroy something, he wanted to go up to the Enforcers and throttle each and every one of them—but most of all he wanted Skyfire, just Skyfire and his warm words. And now his last words were lost to him forever._

_The alarms from the spaceship continued to blare and the lightning continued to flash and Starscream continued to detect nothing. Absolutely nothing._

_Starscream bit back a cry of grief and gunned his engines. He flew off into the sky and hoped that he was headed south towards Skyfire._

_He didn't realize it at the time, but he was flying north instead._

* * *

"Are we running from the Enforcers again?" Bulkhead asked Starscream. His blue optics were so bright and unaware and innocent—

"No, Bulkhead, we are not," Starscream whispered.

Bulkhead blinked at him in confusion. "Who's Bulkhead?"

Starscream froze and bit back a scream. "You. That's _you, _that's—oh Primus, what did I get myself into?" He dropped to his pedes in the dirt and screwed his optics shut. If he dared to open them then he would see _them_, the Senate in all of their awful and terrible tyrannical glory. The entire stadium was lit up with the red and gold glow of their optics and the sound of their voices murmured nonstop until the only sound Starscream could hear was their voices melded into each other.

_"Murderer," _the Council whispered. _"Murderer, murderer, you killed the shuttle, murderer, murderer, you killed the shuttle," _they whispered nonstop—but there was no grief in their voices, nothing but thinly-hidden sadistic glee at the thought of another dead winged mech.

Breakdown and Knock Out walked around outside the monster truck and prowled around the perimeter as the Council's voices rose in volume.

Starscream felt like he was going to purge, like his frame was just going to collapse in on itself and like he was about to become dust again. He hadn't felt this much despair and loss since Skyfire—since he—

Bulkhead stroked his back softly. "Hey, calm down, just get into my cargo bay and we'll be back at Iacon in no time," he said softly, sweetly, heartbreakingly.

"Starry!" Miko shouted as she ran up onto one of Starscream's knelt knees. "Listen to me, listen to me—"

"What's even the point anymore?!" Starscream shrieked at her. "At any moment Soundwave will come and he'll _take _him from me again, do you know that? He'll snatch him away and I'll lose Bulkhead and I'll lose Skyfire's final words, the final words I _lost _because I was too angry to see that violence wasn't the answer!"

Starscream sat there and stared at Miko with coolant on his faceplates as his vents worked overtime to cool down his exhausted frame. She stared up at him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.

"I have one final log for you, Starscream," Bulkhead said as he sat in the dirt beside Starscream. He looked up at the internals of the monster truck above them with a distant look in his optics. Somehow, Starscream knew that he was looking in the direction of Cybertron.

He wanted to hear the log but at the same time he did not want to hear it, he wanted to delete it and yet also cherish it forever, this one final message from his final friend in the final era of his life—the era before Megatron, the era before the warlord was a warlord and back when Starscream could actually and honestly say he was _happy._

"You can be happy with us," Miko said softly as the Council's chants rose even higher in volume.

_"Murderer, murderer, MURDERER—"_

"No, I slagging _can't!_"

"You can't listen to one final log?" Bulkhead asked him. His field shook with grief, but it wasn't real. It was just a pale imitation of the grief Skyfire had felt as he had recorded his logs. It was nothing more than the echo of the dead.

"I don't know," Starscream groaned miserably.

Bulkhead sat right in front of Starscream and held the Seeker's dirty shoulders tight. He looked right into Starscream's coolant-filled optics, opened his intake—

—and then shut it. His optics widened and flickered as his frame spasmed.

"W-what's happening to him?" Miko said in alarm.

"I don't know!"

Bulkhead's optics turned off and then turned on again. "Subspace Log Number 99—"

His frame spasmed again and he offlined his optics.

Miko gasped. "He's not… he's not…?"

Starscream hung his helm. "He may as well be."

Bulkhead's helm shot up again and his optics flared with light. _"Autobot Log Number 1."_

Starscream blinked. That wasn't what he expected. Skyfire was never an Autobot and crashed long before they even existed, so then how—?

_"Hey Star, this isn't one of your old buddy's logs," _Bulkhead said.

Starscream's jaw dropped.

_"This is one of your new buddy's logs. I—I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here… Anyway, Scree, I worry about ya. You're cold and mean to everybody you don't like, but when you do like somebody… you kinda get too attached."_

Bulkhead and Knock Out stood beside the tire and watched with wide optics.

_"So when your friends fall, you fall with 'em. So when my processor is all gone, don't spill your bolts, 'kay? My end is near. I don't think my processor will last much longer. I can feel it. You've still got Prime to stick by ya and 'Bee, and even Ratch! He doesn't really show his concern for you that much, but he does care."_

_"And I worry, y'know? So don't go coo-coo for coco puffs and go running back to Megs cause it's the only thing ya know. Cause Megs knows you, but I've gotten to know you even better, and I know you're not worthless—slag it, you're too good for Buckethead, okay? You gotta wake up n' see that._

_"So don't let my end… make you go crazy, okay? 'Cause Optimus has helped mechs before, and he'll keep on helping you, and I know that his awakening will bring about yours… Oh, Starscream, I worry about what you will do when I am no longer here. My end is near. I can feel it. And I worry that my end will bring about yours… yours… yours… Oh, Starscream."_

"No. I can't… I can't give up on you yet. Maybe I can bring your memories back by sharing mine again," Starscream gasped. He had completely and utterly failed to send his memories over to Bulkhead the first time—but maybe, just maybe, he needed to instead form a more _direct _connection. He reached behind his helm and pulled out a data cable and held it shakily in his servos.

"Star, what are you doing?" Bulkhead asked. Starscream placed one of his servos over the Wrecker's intake to shut him up and grabbed ahold of one of Bulkhead's muddied arms as he searched for a data port.

"What are you doing?!" Knock Out shouted at him.

Starscream hissed at him. "Saving him." Miko stared up at him in awe.

"By—by _linking_?" Knock Out sputtered.

"Someone has to save him! You both were just going on about how ruining his processor was low, even for me, and you know what? You're right! I made a huge mistake! And now, I am going to _fix it._"

Breakdown rapidly shook his helm back and forth. "No, no, Screamy, there has to be a better way than this."

"This is the only way." He found a port in Bulkhead's wrist and was about to attach his data cable to it when suddenly a servo lashed out and grabbed ahold of his talon. He turned around and stared right up into the faceplates of Knock Out and Breakdown.

"Will you stop me?" Starscream asked.

Knock Out and Breakdown just blinked at him. Breakdown's grip on Starscream's wrist shook slightly.

"I need to do this, slag it! So tell me, Doctors—can I get his memories back by sharing _mine_?"

Knock Out's field became cold and hard around him. "It could go wrong. Do you know what the consequences of a failed memory transfer are? You could become just like him."

Starscream's servo began to shake. "I am aware of the consequences."

Knock Out and Breakdown glanced at each other before they looked back to Starscream.

"Then may Primus be with you," Knock Out said.

Starscream took a deep breath. He remembered the last time something like this had happened, the last time he'd hooked himself up to another mech and bared his memories for them to see.

It was one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

But letting Bulkhead's processor rot away would be another huge mistake, another invisible weight on his shoulders, another dead mech on his conscience—-and he didn't want anymore dead weights to weigh down his spark. He wanted to _fly._

Starscream shakily attached his data cable to Bulkhead's dataport in his wrist and opened his processor up to the Wrecker.

His vision flared and his hearing became muffled and muted. Everything moved in slow motion as streams of data flowed back and forth between their connected minds. Bulkhead's optics shone a piercing blue and he reached out a dirty servo to Starscream's shoulder as his mind linked to Starscream's.

Starscream blinked and the stadium disappeared and was replaced with Vos. He blinked again and saw the tall golden buildings of the Academy up in the sky, and then he blinked again and saw an endless white ice sheet.

_"So you've come for the final log," _Bulkhead and Skyfire's voices echoed in his helm.

_"I'm here to delete them!" _Starscream mentally shouted back at him. All of Bulkhead's firewalls were completely shattered and his entire processor was laid bare for the Seeker to see. Rampant lines of coding pierced through his neural network and spun around and around across Starscream's vision like shocks of lightning. Equations rapidly appeared and disappeared and the silhouettes of shuttles and Seekers danced across his vision.

He felt his own thoughts grow slow and sluggish. He raked his talons down his arm and the hot pain helped him stay focused.

The memories. Yes. The memories. That is what he was transferring over. Starscream offlined his optics and thought of all the times he spent with Bulkhead—the time they spent in the woods, back when Skyfire first appeared, the time they spent making painting after painting, the time when Megatron called and Bulkhead had had to guide Starscream through his fear—he thought of each memory of everything he ever did with the Wrecker and sent each memory over to Bulkhead's helm.

_"The f-final log is here, you've finally found out how to find it!" _Skyfire laughed and laughed and laughed.

_"I'm not here for the log, Bulkhead, so just shut up and let me help you!"_ Starscream mentally yelled back at him.

His vision flickered and flashed—-one moment he was looking at Bulkhead knelt before him—-and the next moment he was looking at Skyfire. The edges of his vision staticked out and everything around him disappeared in a haze of data codes until all he could see was Bulkhead's faceplate right in front of him.

_"I never told you in person. I hid this log deep in the cylinder because we were being watched, Starry, we were being observed so carefully and I needed to make sure the Enforcers didn't overhear us—"_

Starscream's optics shot wide open—he didn't realize he had offlined them—and he stared right at Skyfire—Bulkhead—Skyfire. A morbid sense of curiosity rose up within him. What could possibly have been so important and yet so dangerous that it could never be spoken out loud? What warning could the shuttle have possibly given him?

It was so tempting to just say _tell me, tell me the last log—_but then his vision flashed and the spires of Vos appeared in the sky again, and then vanished and got replaced with the Academy, back and forth and back and forth until he couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

_"I… can't…. I can't listen to it, Bulkhead! Didn't you already send it to me earlier?! Autobot Log Number 1?" _Starscream shouted over the data link.

The air began to buzz and a stream of data floated right over his vision and blinded him.

_"No. I do not know what that was," _Skyfire's voice echoed back and forth.

_"That was yours! You made that!"_

_"I am Skyfire and I made no such thing."_

Another unwanted line of code from the cylinder scrolled across his vision. Starscream reached up and rubbed his optics to try and get the data stuck in them to disappear. He felt something warm spill out onto his digits. The data continued to flash and flicker across his vision. Something warm and wet dripped down from his optics—it didn't feel like coolant—and it was hot and acidic.

_"Oh, shut up and let me send over the next batch of memories already!"_

He screwed his optics shut and tried to recall his memories of Bulkhead, but then they skittered and flickered away from him. The massive amount of hostile data stuck in Bulkhead's processor seeped over into Starscream's over the link until he couldn't tell which memory was which anymore.

He grabbed a memory—he did not know which one—and sent it over to Bulkhead's helm.

Bulkhead's optics widened. _"Oh Star, oh Star, what did he do to you?"_

Cold realization seeped into his frame. _"What… what did I send you?"_

Bulkhead sent the memory back to Starscream and Starscream felt his spark sink. It wasn't a memory of Bulkhead, but of a different mech, a crueler mech, an abusive one—_bleeding on the ground, vents coming in harsh gasps, Megatron looming over him, raising his pede—_

_"No!"_ Starscream's voice echoed in both of their processors. _"F-forget you saw that! Forget that! Wrong memory!"_

The data stream between them shuddered with pain. A fresh wave of grief welled up from within Bulkhead, and it wasn't a dead echo of Skyfire's pain—it was Bulkhead's pain too, Bulkhead's grief, _Bulkhead's_ pity.

_"He hurt you like that? He hurt you, oh Primus, Buckethead really did hurt you like that, I can't believe—"_

_"You saw nothing!" _Starscream shouted at him and at this point he couldn't tell if he was shouting out loud or shouting over the data cable.

_"Oh Starscream,"_ Bulkhead said. _"I saw everything."_

_"H-how much did I send you?"_

_"Enough."_

The streams of data froze and reversed. The grief vanished as the cold clean lines of data tore it apart and took over Bulkhead's helm again.

_"I have one final log for you,"_ he said. _"Subspace Log 99… There is going to be an—"_

Grief shot through Starscream._ "I want to hear it but I can't, I can't allow you to plunge back into the logs, I can't lose another brother, slag it!_ _I'm sorry, Skyfire. I really am."_

The air buzzed. Warnings flared across his HUD.

Starscream rested the tip of his crest to Bulkhead's forehelm and sent over one last batch of memories with him

_"What are you doing?"_

Starscream cracked one of his optics open.

_"I'm grounding you."_

He sent over the final burst of memories, his vision staticked out, and he fell backward and into the dirt.

* * *

_"Where are you? Where are you?"_

_The bright white snow completely obscured his vision until all he could see was an endless expanse of pure white. Ice fell onto his frame in sharp flakes that dug into his plating, but that didn't matter—the only thing that mattered was Skyfire._

_And Skyfire was nowhere to be seen._

_His engines burned hot as he flew through the snow in circles and circles and circles. He sent out scan after scan across the cold white ice, but detected nothing. No spark signals, no comms for help, absolutely nothing. The white ice flickered and flashed and for a split second he saw two frames standing over his—that was strange._

_The wind buffeted against his frame and drove sharp shards of ice into his wings as he gunned his engines and flew to the top of the sky. The clouds briefly cleared and for a single moment, the entirety of the ice sheet was laid bare before him. The ice sheet briefly vanished and for a split second he looked up and saw the underside of some kind of massive truck above his helm. Strange. Very strange._

_The odd vision vanished and cold white plains of snow rolled on for as far as his optics could see. The peaks of mountains rose far off in the distance. Maybe that's where Skyfire was. Maybe the snow crashed into his frame and threw him off course and he flew off in the wrong direction—or maybe he had intentionally left Starscream behind. Or maybe some data got beamed into his helm and destroyed it. Starscream blinked. Where did that odd thought suddenly come from? He shook his helm and sighed. He needed to focus, slag it! Maybe Skyfire was fine and had just flown off deep into the mountains, far far away. Maybe Skyfire was out there waiting for him, like all those other times Starscream had flown off and then returned to camp. _

_Maybe he was waiting._

_Or maybe he was dead._

_Starscream transformed back into his root-mode in mid-air. He plummeted and felt the shards of ice and wind slice past his frame as he fell back to the ground. He slammed onto the ground and sent a flurry of snow into the air as his pedes struck the ice sheet. At any moment he expected Skyfire to emerge from the cold wind, a worried look on his faceplate and concern in his field._

_A silhouette appeared in the bright white snow. Starscream squinted up at it and hope flared in his chestplate. "Skyfire? Skyfire? Is it really you?!"_

_The mech walked towards him through the blizzard and his two bright optics shone brightly amidst the snowy gloom. Starscream broke into a run and ran right towards him._

_The snow blew away and the mech's frame became visible. Instead of white shuttle armor, he saw green armor instead._

_"Hey, Star," Bulkhead said. "It's me. You found me, Star, you saved me!"_

* * *

"Oh slag! Oh slag!" Starscream shouted as he lurched upwards. A nauseous sensation overwhelmed his frame and he leaned over and purged.

"Ew!" Miko shouted.

Knock Out grabbed his shoulders and forced him to sit up right.

"Hmmpf, he managed to survive all that. Somehow."

"Ohhhh," Starscream groaned. "Why did I join the war again?"

Knock Out was pushed to the side by Bulkhead.

"Hey, there, Star!" he laughed.

Starscream blinked up at him sluggishly. "Are you g-going to recite a log to me?"

"No, Starscream. You ended that. My processor is still… it's still kinda mushy and confused, but—I remember you. I _remember._"

Starscream lunged forward and wrapped his bloodied arms around Bulkhead. He buried his helm in the curves of his green armor as Bulkhead laughed.

"Aww, so you do like me after all!"

"Shut up. Are you really… _you _again?"

Bulkhead smiled down at him. "The one and only!"

"Bulkkkk! You have to take me dune riding again to make up for last time!" Miko screamed as she tried to crawl up Bulkhead's leg.

He frowned. "What happened last time?"

Miko and Starscream looked at each other.

"THERE WILL NOT BE A NEXT TIME."

The air buzzed and a bright violet glow shone over their shoulders. Soundwave stood at the other end of the monster truck they were hidden under. Dozens of his cables lashed out and coiled themselves around the end of the truck. With a single mighty heavy, he tipped the whole monster truck over.

It tilted over all of their helms and slid down the dirt hill before it crashed into the bank of the dirt road with a screech of metal and a shower of sparks.

"Soundwave, no, stop!" Starscream shouted, but it was too late. Soundwave ran right at Bulkhead and Starscream at full speed. He raised his arm into the air and the bright harsh glow of the stadium lights glinted across the sharp edge of his arm as he swung his arm down and into the data cable that connected Starscream to Bulkhead.

A burst of pain shot through Starscream's helm and he shrieked as the data connection was abruptly and suddenly severed.

Starscream screamed as Soundwave's cables tightly grabbed ahold of his limbs and dragged him through the dirt. He pulled Starscream away from Bulkhead right as the Wrecker lunged forward and tried to catch Starscream.

"Star!" he shouted as he threw his arm out. The tips of his digits grazed the tips of Starscream's talons as the Seeker was dragged away.

Soundwave loomed over him. His single red optic leered down at him and the hot white lights of the stadium lit up all of the sharp angles of his frame as he knelt down over Starscream.

Breakdown and Knock Out tightly grabbed ahold of Bulkhead and forced him to his knees in the dirt.

"C'mon, let me save Starry!" he pleaded.

Breakdown's tight grip on Bulkhead's shoulder wavered.

Knock Out activated his electro-prod and pointed it right at him. "Sorry, Autobot, but we can't afford to become Megatron's new punching bag."

"Wha—so you helped save Starscream just so that you could capture us?!"

"It's not you that we want," Breakdown said softly. "It's Starscream. He has the data now."

"It's been deleted!"

Knock Out shook his helm. "It'll take a few minutes to leave his processor. And Soundwave needs only _seconds _to snatch it all up." He shrieked and looked down at his pede as Miko banged her fists against him. "Watch the paintjob!"

"Watch _this!_" she shrieked louder as she began to bang against Knock Out even more.

"Miko, please, listen to me!" Bulkhead pleaded as Starscream screams echoed through the air. "You need to run, do you understand? Run and get a signal!"

"I'm not leaving you!" she shrieked.

"Get away from here! Jump down that hill!"

Miko froze. _Jump down that hill._

_Jump._

Starscream had told her to jump free of Bulkhead that day they went dune riding—and she hadn't.

Starscream shrieked again as Soundwave connected one of his cables to the back of the Seeker's helm.

Miko watched Starscream writhe and claw and kick under Soundwave's grasp.

She looked at Starscream, then Bulkhead, and then she screamed in anger and ran.

Miko ran across the dirty ground and clambered her way up and down the steep hills and banks of the monster truck track. She ran over to one of the other monster trucks parked near the side of the stadium and crawled up the spokes of the tire.

Soundwave dug his cable deeper and deeper into the port in the back of Starscream's helm. He used his other cables to hold Starscream's limbs down as he broke the firewalls within his helm and plunged into Starscream's memories.

"W-why are you doing this? Why not just kill me?"

Soundwave hummed. Laserbeak floated down from the sky and landed upon his shoulder. "SAVING YOU: FOR LATER."

"But _why?!_"

Soundwave leaned in so close to Starscream's audial that he could feel the Seeker's terrified vents wash over his visor. "SAVING YOUR DEATH: FOR LATER. FOR _MEGATRON._"

He shattered all of Starscream's firewalls and broke right into his helm. Starscream thrashed and kicked under the intrusive onslaught as Soundwave digged around in his memory files. He briefly forced Soundwave out of his helm, only for him to dig back in again.

"Get out of my helm!" he shrieked up at Soundwave.

Soundwave tsked as he pulled up a certain file and began to play it across his visor. "REMEMBER THIS?"

Starscream froze at the memory Soundwave had chosen to replay. "No. _No. _Please, any memory but that one!"

The deactivated frames of Thundercracker and Skywarp glowed brightly on his shattered visor. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID. LOOK WHAT YOU DID—"

The dirt hill underneath them collapsed. The cable hooked to Starscream's helm snapped out of him as the two of them both tumbled down the dirty bank and into the race track. Starscream shakily rose to his pedes and looked around for Bulkhead. The Wrecker was all the way on the other side of the stadium and both Knock Out and Breakdown loomed over him.

Starscream began to run to Bulkhead. He needed to find him and then find Miko and then—

Soundwave leaped in front of Starscream and extended his cables out. He lashed them around him in a flurry of movements and stirred up massive clouds of dust that rose up from the floor of the stadium and into the air. A large dust cloud obscured Starscream's view of Bulkhead and he shrieked as he lost the Wrecker within the storm. The only light came from the panicked red glow of Starscream's optics and the eerie violet glow of Soundwave's visor and cables.

Starscream dodged a cable that swung over his helm and ran off to where he'd last seen Bulkhead and prayed to Primus that he was going in the right direction.

"Soundwave, why are you doing this?!"

Soundwave said nothing and continued to silently march towards him as his cables whipped and lashed all around him. "FOR MEGATRON."

"He's insane! Why do you still serve him?!" Starscream shouted as he slid down a steep dirty embankment. Pede steps were pressed deep into the dirt and the distinct pedestep of Bulkhead stood out amongst all the others—yet Bulkhead was nowhere to be seen. The intense winds of the dust storm swept the pedesteps away.

Starscream frantically looked left and right for any sign of the Wrecker and Miko. A cable grabbed his ankle and pulled him to the ground. Soundwave loomed over him as he hooked his cables back into Starscream's helm.

"D-do you remember the Senate, Soundwave?"

He ignored Starscream and broke through the Seeker's firewalls again.

"Do you? Do you remember how they h-hacked into mech's processors?"

Soundwave dug deeper into the Seeker's helm. He'd need to patch the Seeker in order to do any real damage, but for now, just a few added lines of coding could work. He loaded a fresh burst of coding into his helm and—

"You hated the Senate, so then why are you a-acting just like them?"

Soundwave froze.

"NEGATIVE. SOUNDWAVE IS NOT LIKE THE SENATE."

Starscream snarled up at him. "Soundwave, you are _exactly _like the Senate. L-look at what Megatron's turning you into! A _towersmecha!_"

"SOUNDWAVE: NOT LIKE TOWERSMECHA."

"Then why are you acting like one?!" Starscream shrieked.

"SOUNDWAVE: IS DOING THIS TO AVENGE CASSETICONS."

Starscream's optics widened and flashed violet as the foreign data settled in his processor. "I'm sorry, how many times do I have to say that?! I didn't _meant_ for them to—"

Soundwave had had enough. He slammed Starscream's helm into the dirt and finished uploading the new aggressive protocol coding into Starscream's helm. Now he just needed to trigger it.

He unhooked his cable from Starscream's helm. The Seeker shot to his pedes and stumbled away from Soundwave.

The air shimmered and a frame glowed amongst the dust storm. Skyfire stepped out of the storm and knelt beside Starscream as he lovingly draped his arm over the Seeker's shoulder.

"Look, Starscream," he said softly, so softly. "There he goes."

Starscream's helm pulsed and ached as the intrusive data Soundwave downloaded into it ripped through his processor. "W-what? Who?"

Skyfire smiled. It was all teeth. "The killer of Vos is escaping, Starscream. Avenge me."

"W-what?" Starscream whimpered as he stumbled back. An expression of pure rage replaced Skyfire's calm smile and he stood up to his full height. His blue optics that were normally so calm and kind shone a bright sharp blue as he leered down at Starscream.

"Avenge. Me."

"I don't understand—"

"You _do_ understand! Kill the Autobot! You've killed so many before, so why can't you do it for me?"

Starscream stood frozen in the midst of the dust storm. "I—"

Skyfire knelt back down and the ground shook as the weight of his massive frame slammed back down onto the ground. He moved right up to Starscream so that their faceplates were only a breath apart. Skyfire's enraged faceplate and blue optics completely covered Starscream's vision and all that the Seeker could see was the angry faceplate of his dead brother.

"Kill the Autobot. Do it for me. Don't you love me, Star?" Skyfire said with a hint of hurt in his voice.

"Of course I do!"

"Then…" Skyfire whispered as he gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulders. _"Prove it."_

He lifted Starscream into the air and chucked him away.

Starscream's frame tumbled through the dust storm and slammed back down into the ground.

"Star!" Bulkhead screamed at him. He thrashed and strained under Knock Out and Breakdown's tight grip on his shoulders.

Soundwave's helm whipped around and he narrowed his optic at the Wrecker. He opened up a groundbridge beside the three of them.

"SEND HIM TO THE NEMESIS."

Breakdown and Knock Out froze. The hot lightning of Knock Out's electro-prod sizzled inches away from Bulkhead's dirtied armor. The two of them stood over Bulkhead and did absolutely nothing as they stared up at Soundwave with a grim expression on their faceplates.

"QUERY? IS THIS DEFIANCE?" Soundwave's voice boomed at them.

Fear bloomed in both of their fields, but they held their ground.

"This isn't what you promised us, Sounders," Knock Out said softly.

"I CAN DELIVER EVERYTHING I PROMISED YOU—AND_ MORE_."

"No," Breakdown said as he slowly shook his helm. "You _can't._"

Starscream shakily rose up from the dust. He onlined his optics and they glowed bright purple as the hostile new coding within his helm activated itself. He slowly turned his helm and saw Bulkhead's frame through the whirling dust. Starscream growled and he lunged forward and ran towards the Wrecker at full speed.

Bulkhead's jaw dropped. "Star, Star, no, calm down, calm—!"

Starscream slammed into Bulkhead's chestplate and the two mechs fell down in a sprawl of limbs in the dirt. Soundwave lashed his cables around even faster and made the dust in the air whip past their frames even more.

"Calm down!" Bulkhead shouted. His back was pinned to the ground and Starscream sat atop him. The Seeker's optics shone a feral shade of violet instead of their usual bright—but sad—red color. There was no hint of recognition in his optics nor in his field. Nothing but cold rage.

Starscream lifted his talons and prepared to plunge them into the seams of Bulkhead's armor. Bulkhead lifted his servos and caught Starscream's talons right as they swung down. The two of them wrestled in the dirt and Bulkhead grunted as he tried to stop the Seeker from sinking his talons into him.

"This isn't you, it isn't! Soundwave manipulated your processor, so just _calm down!_"

Starscream showed no sign of understanding anything and raised his talons up high above his helm again as he readied himself for another attack.

"My end will bring about yours!" Bulkhead shouted.

Starscream froze and stared down at him with wide violet optics.

Bulkhead didn't know where those words came from. It just felt like the right thing to shout, the right thing to say to catch his attention.

"Kill… kill me, and you'll regret it forever. Don't let Soundwave manipulate you," Bulkhead breathed heavily.

Starscream sat frozen atop his frame. His optics rapidly flickered back and forth between red and violet as his entire frame began to shake more and more.

He stumbled off of Bulkhead's frame and away into the dust storm.

"Star, come back, we need to get back to base!" Bulkhead cried after him, but his voice was stolen by the roar of the windstorm Soundwave had created.

Starscream knelt down in the dirt and let the sand whip and grind past his frame. His entire frame shook and strained and coolant streamed down his faceplates. He held his helm in his servos and dragged his talons down the sides of his helms as the intrusive data within his helm battled for dominance.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted.

"Starry, no, now stop being dramatic and c'mon! I never… I never got to finish telling you my Wrecker stories!"

Starscream offlined his optics and leaned down into the dust. "I-I'm sorry, Bulkhead. You'll have to t-tell them to somebody else. Soundwave is _winning_, he's going to make me kill you, and I can't, _I can't—"_

Starscream ran into the stadium. The Autobot, the Autobot, he needed to kill the Autobot. That was what the new data was screaming at him non-stop—_kill the Autobot and kill the murderer of your people and avenge them—_

The dark shadows of a massive hall loomed over his helm. His optics widened. This is where he'd entered the stadium—and this is where he'd end the Autobot's life.

_"Starscream, no," _a voice in the back of his helm whispered. It sounded like Skyfire. _"Starscream, no, no, no, promise me you won't hurt anybody else, promise me!"_

Starscream stumbled forward and into the shadows of the hall as he hunted for the Autobot. He wanted to rip the intrusive data out of his helm, but he also wanted to obey everything it ordered to do. It pulsed in his helm and ripped through his neural network as it replaced _will _with _obedience._

His helm flared in pain and he tilted over into the wall of the hall with a gasp. What was he doing here again? Right, he was trying to find Bulkhead so that they could flee and escape—and then the data in his helm pulsed hot white and painful and all thoughts of escape and freedom were replaced with thoughts of revenge and murder.

_Kill the Autobot, the Autobot, the murderer of your people, _the data whispered to him nonstop, neverending, nonstop, he wanted it to just _shut up—_

"Starscream!" Bulkhead shouted.

He stood frozen in the center of the hall and felt himself being torn in two. Stay, leave, kill him, or let him live.

Bulkhead ran off into the shadows away from the Seeker and Starscream gave chase. His helm throbbed in pain but he had a mission to fulfill, a _mission_, he'd do whatever it took to get the data to leave him alone.

Bulkhead skidded around a corner and Starscream ran after him.

He turned the corner and then froze as his pede stepped into something wet.

He looked down and saw a spilled can of pain. Starscream slowly looked up at the concrete wall in front of him and his optics widened. That was familiar. Yes. Familiar. Not the wall—but what was on it.

A crudely drawn and sloppy painting of a Seeker and a Wrecker was slapped onto the wall. It had obviously been made in only a matter of seconds, yet the silhouettes were clear. Starscream looked down and saw a splattered trail of paint across the floor. He followed the trail and saw the Autobot at the other end of the hall. His servos were smeared with the paint.

He wasn't sure why, but the sight of that painting made something within his spark cry out. He had to do what the data wanted, what it wanted, yes, yes, but at the same time there was that _painting, _that wretched painting there that made his breath freeze in his vents and a well of nostalgia well up within him although he did not know what he was being nostalgic for—

Bulkhead grabbed Starscream and hoisted the Seeker over his paint-covered shoulder.

Starscream pounded his fists against the Wrecker's back and tried to pry himself free of his strong grip, but to no avail.

"I'm sorry, Star, I'm sorry!" Bulkhead said as he carried Starscream back outside into the stadium. They emerged outside under the harsh white stadium lights and Bulkhead began to walk up the rows of seats with Starscream slung over his shoulder.

Starscream snarled. "I have a _mission—_"

"_—_no, you _don't!_" Bulkhead finished for him. He carried Starscream up higher and higher up the metal bleachers until they were high above the stadium and near the very top of it. A blast of wind came out of the sky and blew hard into Starscream's frame as Bulkhead finally let him down to his pedes.

"Listen to me, you have to ignore whatever Soundwave implanted in your helm, okay?"

It was getting harder to think. He had to ignore what? The data. The data. A violet visor flashed in his memories. A visor. Soundwave. Soundwave was bad, very bad.

"Star, look at me, you're passing out—don't go to sleep, Primus, don't go to sleep—and _resist him!_"

Resist. Resist what?

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The data.

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Yes.

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He felt his thoughts slip away from him.

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The intrusive data barged into his thoughts again and

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Is this how Bulkhead had felt?

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Yes

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The memories

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Resist

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My end will bring about yours

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My end

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will bring about

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yours

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"Star!"

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Somebody touched him.

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Bulkhead gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's servos and held Starscream close to him.

"B-bulk?" he slurred as his optics flickered on and off.

"Yes, yes that's me! Do you remember!" Bulkhead laughed.

Starscream writhed around in his grasp and kicked out at him.

"Calm down, calm down, don't let Sounders get to you!" Bulkhead yelped as he struggled to hold the Seeker down. He pinned Starscream down to the cold metal bleachers and held the Seeker down tightly as he glared up at him.

"Star, Star, you gotta remember me, right? Right? Please. _Please_."

Starscream's optics flashed violet and he kicked out at Bulkhead again.

"Oh no, no no no," Bulkhead muttered as he rapidly shook his helm back and forth over and over again. "Please tell me your processor isn't also disappearing!"

Starscream hissed at him.

"Slag, come on, knock it off, Sounders just screwed with your processor a bit, just shake off whatever weird programming he put into you!"

Starscream's angry snarl disappeared and his optics widened. His optics flickered back and forth between bright red and purple. His field grew cold and hard around him and optics shone pure violet again as he hissed back up at Bulkhead.

"Oh, c'mon, stop hissing at me like a scraplet! There's gotta be somethin' here to jog your memory, c'mon, c'mon—"

A cold breeze blew out of the sky and Bulkhead looked up. The stadium lights were behind them now and their glare was much weaker. The stars were bright and visible. Thousands of stars sprawled across the sky glowed brightly. A certain cluster of bright blue stars stood out.

Bulkhead grabbed onto Starscream's arms and hoisted the Seeker up to his pedes. He tightly held Starscream up against his armor and grabbed ahold of Starscream's arm. He pointed Starscream's talon right up at the cluster of stars Cybertron was in.

"Look, see that? See those stars? Those were the stars you were named after!"

Starscream looked away and struggled in his grip. Bulkhead grabbed the side of Starscream's helm and forced the brainwashed Seeker to look up into the sky.

"See? _See? _That's home, Starry, that's what we're fighting for. D'ya remember? Do you?"

Starscream's optics widened and he stared up at the stars.

"Come on, you've managed to survive Megatron for this long, surely you can survive Soundwave?"

Starscream began to shake. He leaned back and into Bulkhead's arms as he buried his helm in the curves of his armor.

"Let me tell you a Wrecker story. So Jackie and I were out on a mission and we found a cave that was obviously a trap…"

Starscream's optics glowed redder.

"...and then, er, I'm having trouble remembering what happened next… uh, oh yeah! He said 'why bond to a Conjunx when you can bond to a grenade instead?' And... and I was like, 'Jackieeee, no!'"

"D-dumbaft."

Bulkhead froze. "Say that again."

"I… I think…"

Bulkhead's helm shot down and he knelt so that he was optic level with Starscream. "You think what?!"

"I think…" Starscream reached his servo up and shakily pointed it at a cluster of stars. "I think C-Cybertron is _there_."

"Oh, oh frag, you're back, you're back!" Bulkhead cried out as he wrapped Starscream in a tight hug. "How do you feel?!"

"Like I'm b-being crushed."

"What? Oh, sorry. You did it, Star, you got me back. You got me _back_."

Starscream's optics flashed between red and purple. "Anyway, I s-said that he's a real _dumbaft—"_

"Oh! It's you, you've got your snark back!"

Starscream sighed and looked up at the stars. He reached out and lethargically patted Bulkhead's shoulder. "A-and I got my big dumb oaf back."

"Let's get outta here, Starry! Where the slag is Miko?"

Starscream let out a high-pitched keen. There was so much he wanted to say to the Wrecker—he wanted to apologize to him, he wanted to yell at him for scaring him, he wanted to cry, he wanted to do everything—but all he did was lean forward into Bulkhead and sigh.

A violet light shone over both of their shoulders.

Soundwave crawled up the metal seats and right up to them. His field violently thrashed around him and he uncoiled and extended all of his cables up into the air.

"STARSCREAM: WILL NOT ESCAPE."

Starscream shrieked. "Bulkhead, c-comm the base!"

"I can't, he's blocking the signals!"

Soundwave crawled over to the two of them as his cables began to flash and undulate with light. Normally his field was cold and sharp around him, but not this time. His field pulsed around him with barely contained wrath and the air buzzed as he grappled his way up to them. Thundercracker and Skywarp shimmered into existence and clambered their way up to Starsream with pure rage on their faceplates.

"WILL NOT ESCAPE. WILL PLEASE MEGATRON GREATLY. WILL—-"

A loud honk blared through the stadium. The cloud of dust cleared away as a massive monster truck barreled right through it. The truck's two bright headlights beamed out into the sky and blinded Soundwave as it drove right at him. He let out a metallic screech as the truck's tire rolled right over him and pinned him underneath its tread.

Soundwave lashed his cables out and tried to pull his frame out from under the truck, but to no avail. The holograms of Thundercracker and Skywarp vanished and left Soundwave alone under the tire. The bleachers of the stadium creaked loudly under the sheer weight of the truck.

Miko popped her head out of the window of the monster truck. "Hey there, guys!"

Bulkhead blinked up at her. "Ahaha, my little Wrecker! C'mon down!"

She hoisted herself over the edge of the massive truck's door and down onto the foot bar.

She slipped.

Miko screamed as she fell down into the air and down from the tall monster truck's cabin. Starscream and Bulkhead watched in horror as she plummeted towards the bleachers below.

Breakdown lunged out of nowhere and slammed his frame into the ground. He shot his servo out and caught Miko just in time before she hit the dented metal seats.

Breakdown looked down at her. "Um."

"Once a Wrecker, always a Wrecker!" she shouted. Breakdown let her down and she ran up to Starscream and wrapped her arms around the tip of his pede.

"I still can't get a signal, Screamy!"

Starscream frowned and looked back at Soundwave. His entire frame strained and shook with effort as he struggled to free himself from under the tire.

"Let us go, Soundwave," Starscream said as he walked up to him.

Soundwave glared up at him with his single visible red optic. His field shook in rage and he grunted in effort. He dug his servos into the dented metal bleachers underneath him and _pulled. _The entire monster truck atop him rolled forward slightly as he crawled his way closer and closer to Starscream.

Starscream yelped and jumped back.

Soundwave played an audio file of Megatron's laughter. "STILL A COWARD. ALWAYS A COWARD."

"You tried to _brainwash_ me! You tried to take over my processor! You tried to take me!"

"SOUNDWAVE: DOES NOT NEED TAKE THAT WHICH IS ALREADY HIS." He looked off to the side at Breakdown and the ex-Wrecker cringed under his glare. "I AM SURROUNDED BY TRAITORS. NEXT TIME, THOUGH…"

The air buzzed. Miko's cellphone vibrated in her pocket and she picked it up and answered the call.

_"Miko!" _Ratchet's voice shouted over the phone. _"Oh Primus, where are you three?!"_

"You…" Starscream sputtered as he pointed a digit right at Soundwave. "You stopped blocking the signal! Why are you letting us go?"

Soundwave looked up at him. His frame was completely pinned and trapped, yet somehow it felt like he still towered over all of them. "SAVING YOU: FOR NEXT TIME. THIS MISSION: FAILURE. NEXT MISSION: WILL NOT BE."

The stadium seats creaked and groaned as the monster truck weighed the building down. A groundbridge swirled into existence and blasted hot air and dirt everywhere. Ratchet appeared in the bridge and looked over the scene with wide optics.

Soundwave laughed again using a recording of Skyfire's laughter. "NEXT TIME. NEXT TIME."

Bulkhead placed his servo on Starscream's bloodied shoulder. "It's time to go, Star."

Starscream nodded and kept his optics locked onto Soundwave as Bulkhead gently guided the Seeker to the groundbridge.

The last thing he heard as he vanished into the green light was the sound of Skyfire's laughter.

* * *

Dozens of tubes and wires snaked around Bulkhead's frame. Starscream sat beside the unconscious Wrecker's frame and held his helm in his servos.

The floor shook as somebody approached him.

"Not now," Starscream mumbled.

Optimus pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. "So he is back."

Starscream sighed. "Yes, Prime. He's back." A thousand feelings warred in his field. He wanted to run into the halls of the base and hide forever, but he also wanted to just throw himself at the Prime and beg for forgiveness.

"You do not have to do either of those things," Optimus said.

Starscream's optics shot open. "Did I—?"

"Yes."

"...Oh."

Optimus sighed heavily. "What you did was reckless. You could have chosen to stop Miko from taking Bulkhead out of the base in the condition that he was in, yet you condoned their behavior. Instead of ending their quest before it began, you chose to instead supervise it."

And here it was. The scolding, the _punishment_. The overwhelming urge to beg for forgiveness rose up within him and he thought of a thousand pleas to say to the Prime. He hung his helm and stared hard at the wall as he waited for his inevitable punishment for messing up so badly.

"However…"

Optimus gently grabbed Starscream's shoulder and turned the Seeker so that he was looking at him. "You also saved Bulkhead. Had you not joined the mission and shared your memories, he would not be here with us. You knew the risk of memory-transferring—and you took that risk anyway for his sake. And for that, I am proud of you."

Starscream's jaw dropped. "Oh. Um." Most of the time when he was praised he soaked up the attention and felt a burst of pure pride—but not this time. Optimus's praise didn't make him feel confident and proud, it just made him feel empty. Cold.

Unworthy.

"But if I hadn't started this mess in the first place…"

"This was not your fault. Do you understand? This was the fault of sheer chance alone. You did not fire the data into his helm, nor did you make it take over his processor. Had you not encouraged him to recite the logs, he probably would just have recited the equation instead. Do you understand?"

Starscream bit his lip. It made sense on a logical level, yes, but there was still a little voice in the back of his helm that sounded like the voices of all the mechs he'd ever failed all mixed together.

_Your fault, _they whispered to him. _Your fault. Your fault._

Optimus looked at him as pure grief bloomed in his field. "It may take you awhile to understand your innocence. But please understand that even if you refuse to think of yourself as his savior… _we _think of you as his savior."

If anybody had called him a savior even just a few months ago, he would've preened at the attention and would've fluttered his wings with joy.

Now all that word did was make him feel sick to his core.

"Please don't," Starscream said as he rapidly shook his helm back and forth. "I'm not a savior of anything, there wouldn't have been anything to save had I not endangered him in the first place. I'm not a savior, I'm not, I'm not—"

Optimus reached forward and hugged Starscream as the Seeker shook.

Ratchet watched from the doorway of the medbay. He took one last glance at the two of the hugging mechs and then walked into the shadows of the base.

The way Optimus and Bulkhead looked at Starscream now made a shiver go down Ratchet's struts. He wanted to trust the Seeker, he really did, but every single time he caught a glimpse of his sharp talons, any desire he had to talk to the Seeker rapidly disappeared.

Many of his patients had died with those same talons buried in their frames.

He tightened his plating and walked deeper into the base. Starscream was trying so very hard to become one of them, and yet for some reason Ratchet just couldn't accept that. He'd seen within the Seeker's internals, he saw what Megatron had done to his frame, all of the scars, all of the unnecessary and disturbing modifications, _and yet_—

Ratchet stared at the wall. His entire frame was exhausted all the way down to his very struts. But there were other bots in the base who were far, far more tired than he was.

This couldn't keep happening. The threat of Megatron's wrath loomed over all of them—especially over a certain Seeker in particular. He offlined his optics and saw a mental image of Starscream lying in the riverbed, his blood pouring out of his mangled wing and pooling in the water that flowed past him. He saw Bulkhead before him, his processor rotting away.

Ratchet leaned heavily against a work desk. His grip upon the metal table was so tight that his servos left faint imprints in the surface. He was a medic, it was his job to treat his patient's injuries.

But maybe…

A new idea entered his helm. He ran and skidded around the corner to a certain sideroom.

The door creaked open and Ratchet stepped into the room with all of the equations and paintings Bulkhead had drawn. Most of the equations had been ruined, but just enough remained for his purposes.

Maybe…

He picked up a plate with an equation sprawled onto it. This could work. Most of the formula was gone, but if he worked hard then he could complete it, and then he and his team would never have to worry about going hungry ever again.

He was a medic. It was his job to treat his patient's injuries.

But what if he was strong enough to stop them from getting injured in the first place?

He bit his lip.

But what if this went _wrong_? The metal plate in his grasp creaked as his shaky servos tightened. So many had tried to create synthetic energon and so many had failed. Almost all of the scientists who tried to replicate the creations of the Ancients failed miserably—instead of creating the life-giving substance all Cybertronians need to survive, all they instead did was create insanity-giving substances. There have been thousands of insane concoctions and poorly-made energon substitutes made over the years and not one of them had managed to even come close to replicating the real thing.

It would be dangerous.

He looked up and saw a crudely-drawn painting of Bulkhead and Starscream smeared onto the wall.

But that right there was what he had to fight for.

Ratchet grabbed as many of the equations as he could and ran out of the room and back to the medbay.

He would ensure that his team would never starve or get injured ever again.

He just needed to be stronger and faster.


	18. Relapsing

_"I'm proud of y-you," the dying soldier in Starscream's arms said._

_"You really shouldn't be," Starscream grit out as he carried a wounded Decepticon through the frame-ridden battlefield. The sight of all of the greyed-out Autobot and Decepticon frames scattered across the ground made his tank lurch, but he had to stay strong. Not just for himself but also for the nameless soldier in his arms who had been injured while under his command._

_"A-and why not?" the Decepticon said._

_Starscream looked out over the fallen Autobot frames and grimaced at the familiar puncture wounds that were in their chestplates. He flexed his energon-covered talons and grabbed on more tightly to the soldier as he continued to drag him along. "What I did wasn't right."_

_"If you hadn't killed them, they would have killed you!"_

_"Just… just be quiet."_

_The Decepticon placed his servo upon Starscream's shoulder and looked the Seeker in the optic. "You did good, Commander. You did good."_

_Starscream froze for a moment. It had been so long since anybody had said anything nice to him. He was used to scorn and derision, but praise was a rarity. His spark sang. "I did… didn't I?"_

_"Aren't your p-proud of yourself for killing those 'Bots?"_

_Starscream inhaled sharply. The answer had to be yes, it was obviously yes, what else could the answer be?_

_And yet…_

_He resisted the urge to be honest and say the truth, because how do you tell one of your own soldiers that you don't enjoy killing the enemy? How do you say "no, I don't like killing the Autobots who tried to take your life, a part of me wishes I did not need to defend you—"_

_"Commander?"_

_Starscream took a shaky breath. If his soldier knew the truth then he would be angry. Starscream had to do whatever it took to avoid making bots angry._

_"Of course I am proud!"_

_The bloodied soldier sighed. "Just know that I'm proud of you—"_

_The air flashed hot violet and a wave of heat slammed into Starscream. He instinctively offlined his optics and felt the soldier's frame convulse and shudder for a single terrible moment._

_The light and heat vanished as quickly as it had come. Starscream blinked his optics open and peered down at the Decepticon in his arms. A massive burnt hole was in his chestplate._

_"What?!" Starscream shrieked. He turned around and look for the enemy who had fired—_

_Megatron stood off in the distance. His fusion cannon was extended and glowed hot purple in the night._

_"Wait… Megatron?" Starscream whispered._

_"It is indeed I."_

_Starscream dropped the body of the soldier and shakily stepped away from the dead frame. "Oh, Primus, you killed him, you killed him!"_

_"Stop panicking," Megatron sighed. "You have killed before. Why does death still shock you, my Seeker? Do you not enjoy the sensation of an enemy's spark fizzling out within your talon?"_

_Starscream shook as he stepped back from Megatron. "Why would I enjoy that sensation?" he whispered hoarsely._

_Megatron leaned down so that they were optic-level. "Why not?"_

_"He wasn't an Autobot! His death was unnecessary! I w-wasn't aiding the enemy!"_

_"Were you, though?"_

_Starscream turned around and stared at the frames of the deactivated bots. The energon of the Autobots he had killed was still fresh and thick upon his servos and its oily scent wafted into the air and made his tanks spin. But it was a stench he had to get used to. Megatron intently watched Starscream as he rubbed the energon off of his arm and onto the ground._

_"Oh, Starscream, oh Starscream, you are still learning. Never hesitate to make a kill," Megatron said. He hooked his heavy army around Starscream's shoulders in a comforting gesture, but it wasn't comforting at all; it just made a cold weight settle in Starscream's tanks._

_The weight wouldn't go away, he realized. It would stay there within him and grow heavier and heavier with each life he took._

_The blackened optics of a dead Autobot stared at him from the rubble._

_He couldn't face the consequences of his actions and it was too late to go back now. He had to kill all future Autobots he met, he had to, he could not bring himself to stare into their optics and say "I killed your friends."_

_Was it cowardly to kill somebody just because you could not bear to look into their optics and tell them the terrible truth? Or heroic?_

_"You have pedes, Starscream. Use them!" Megatron shouted at him. His fusion cannon lit up with a violet hum—_

_Starscream instinctively dodged._

_—and Megatron shot a bolt of plasma right through the chest of a dead Autobot Starscream had killed earlier. The Autobot's optics lit up purple and shattered outward in a shower of glass. Megatron hummed in satisfaction and stood behind Megatron as he looked out over the battlefield. Starscream flinched when Megatron placed his servos over Starscream's shoulders._

_"Why did you kill one of your own soldiers the way you would an Autobot?" Starscream hissed out quietly._

_"Hmm? What was that?"_

_Starscream's spark spun faster in its chamber and he continued to resolutely stare at the field of frames before him. He needed to look Megatron in the optic, he needed to stare the warlord down and tell him his actions weren't right._

_Megatron's heavy grip on his shoulders tightened._

_Starscream's optics widened. He bit his lip and continued to stare at the field of frames. A part of him wanted to turn around and look at Megatron in his optics as he confronted him, but another much larger part of him didn't want to feel those servos on his shoulder tighten._

_Maybe one day he would be strong enough to look at his new leader in the optic. Maybe._

_"M-master, why are you shooting the frames of the Autobots? They're already… gone."_

_Megatron laughed and each laugh rumbled through Starscream's frame. "The death of a loved one is difficult to get through, but it is even more difficult to move on from a death when there is no frame left behind." He lifted his cannon and fired another bolt right through another dead Autobot's frame._

_Starscream shivered as he remembered a certain shuttle lost under the ice. "That's… terrible."_

_"Do you know why we are called Decepticons, my dear Seeker?" Megatron said softly. He lifted his fusion cannon and fired another blast. Another dead Autobot frame exploded._

_"Because… because?"_

_"Because we deceived the world into thinking that they ever had a chance to stand against us. We lie, Starscream, that is what we do—and that is precisely what that soldier was doing to you!"_

_"He was just being kind to me!" Starscream snapped._

_"Kindness does not exist among our ranks!" Megatron shouted as he fired his cannon again and again. "If he praised you and felt gratitude for you, it is because he wanted something from you. My naive little Seeker, surely you understand that there is no such thing as honest praise, do you?"_

_"Well…"_

_"If he praised you, then it is either because he wanted to sink your talons into you and manipulate you, or it is because he thinks you are better than you truly are!"_

_Starscream bit his lip. "Do… do I not deserve praise?"_

_"No. You do not."_

_"What?! But I killed all of these Autobots for you, I killed for you so many times over and over again—"_

_"And you shall kill for me many times again in the future. It is the way of things. But you deserve no praise for it. You do not need praise in order to be happy." Megatron walked off from Starscream and strode across the battlefield as he continued to fire his cannon at all of the frames that lied across his path. The nonstop boom of his cannon made the ground and air shake and made the entire battlefield flash hot violet over and over and over again. They walked along the edge of a ridge that overlooked the vast metal plains of Cybertron below. For a single moment Starscream felt an urge to just leap off the nearby cliff edge and fly off into the night._

_Starscream's wings fell as he followed after Megatron. He could never allow Megatron to know his true feelings on things ever again. No, he could never allow anybody ever at all to know how he truly felt about things. Whenever he told the truth he incurred Megatron's wrath. If he had to lie from now on in order to avoid his leader's anger, so be it._

_"And how do you know that he was really trying to get on my good side just to manipulate me, huh? How do you know that?"_

_Megatron stalked off and fired a volley of bolts into the frames littered around them._

_"I said, how do you know?!"_

_"I know about everything. What these bots do is they pretend to like you, they pretend to be your friend, ohhh, they pretend, and then once they have lured you into thinking that you owe them, they then turn the tides and claim power! They claim Primacy… for themselves!"_

_"Megatron, what the frag—?"_

_"You are like a tiny sparkling greedy for attention! If you want somebody to come along and praise you, then you must praise yourself. I shall not spare any words of extra kindness to you and neither should you expect such frivolities from your fellow soldiers."_

_Starscream's spark sank. "I thought… I thought this was what you wanted? I thought… you said you'd be proud of me!"_

_"I was proud of you… until it became obvious to me just how much you rely on others for self-validation. That is nonsense. Validate yourself, wretch."_

_Somebody groaned. Starscream and Megatron both looked around for the source of the noise and they saw an energon-covered servo twitch from underneath a pile of rubble. Megatron walked over to the rubble and kicked it aside. A bloodied bot was laid out underneath it and looked up at them with shattered blue optics._

_Blue._

_There was an Autobot on the ground, oh Primus, an Autobot._

_"Ah, an enemy!" Megatron laughed. He pointed his cannon right at the terrified Autobot's faceplate, charged it up—_

_He then paused. Megatron's helm slowly turned around and he looked right at Starscream._

_Starscream refused to make optic contact and continued to stare out at the dusty horizon._

_"If you have what it takes to kill, then why not end this bot's life? Prove to me that you can keep on killing for me. Prove to me that you have what it takes to avenge your dead city!" Megatron snarled. He stood behind Starscream and placed both of his heavy talons on the Seeker's shoulders and pushed Starscream toward the bot._

_Starscream fell to his knees and stared wide-opticed at the bloody bot in front of him. He instinctively aimed his blaster right at the Autobot's chestplate, but then froze. He'd done this a hundred times before, but for some reason, it now felt so much harder._

_All he had to do was activate his blaster and fire one shot, that was it, one single shot, and yet..._

_The Autobot began to speak. "You don't d-deserve—"_

_Starscream's optics widened and he panickedly fired._

_The Autobot's optics went black and his words died in his intake. Starscream knelt over his empty frame and breathed heavily for several moments. One moment he had hesitated, and then in the next moment there was no hesitation to kill at all. Is that what he was now? A killing machine?_

_He did not need his enemy to tell him what he didn't deserve. He didn't want to know what he didn't deserve._

_"And what's so wrong with telling my soldiers that they did a good job, Megatron? And why is it so wrong for them to return the favor?"_

_"Stop mingling with your soldiers on such a personal level! They are not your trinemates, they are your cannon fodder. They came from ash and they shall return to it. You must be above them, not with them."_

_Starscream whimpered. "Why are you so cruel?"_

_"Someone needs to be cruel. I have chosen to be that someone. The world needs a wake-up call. You, especially you in particular, badly need a wake-up call. You do not deserve praise. Performing well in a mission is not exemplary, it is average. Do you expect to be praised for basic competence?"_

_Starscream's wings fell. "Well, no, but I had just thought, I had just thought, um… I wanted to make you proud—"_

_"Ha! You thought you actually deserved praise? How rich coming from a murderer. It is your fault your city and people are now just ashes in the wind. Perhaps one day you will be worthy of praise when you avenge them."_

_Perhaps his new Master was right. It was wrong of him to expect that somebody would praise him for basic competency. Megatron fired off another plasma bolt and reduced the fallen Autobot frame into nothing but hot ash._

_"Oh, stop with that infernal pouting!" Megatron groaned. He suddenly turned around and walked up so close to Starscream that his hot breath washed over the tips of the Seeker's wings. "Listen to me listen well because I am about to tell you a story few know. When I was not Megatron but instead D-16, a disposable bot who lived a disposable life… there were fellow miners who would come to me and praise me for my mining skills."_

_"They sound friendly!"_

_"Let me finish, wretch. They came to me, I came to them, and soon even other bots slinked into my life and offered me even more sweet words. Miners, archivists, the whole lot of them. And then..." Megatron's talon clenched into a fist. "They betrayed me. He betrayed me. And that is when I realized that all of the kindness, all of the sweetness… was a lie."_

_A fire started up in the empty frame of the Autobot and burned hotter and brighter with each moment. Soon they both stood underneath a hot purple inferno that blazed brightly upon the ruins of the battlefield._

_"Well, surely some of it had to be real? Do… do you really believe that all of the kind words were a lie?" Starscream asked as he stared at the flames. He still couldn't bring himself to look Megatron in the optic._

_Megatron lifted his helm up and let the heat of the inferno he started wash over him. "I do not believe that all of his kindness was a lie…"_

_Starscream let out a vent of relief. It was good to know that his new leader wasn't completely cynical—_

_"I know that they were all a lie. Every word and every smile that archivist offered me!"_

_Starscream flinched and stepped back from Megatron as he growled at the flames. The two of them stood in silence and watched the frame of the Autobot burn and roast away into nothingness. It seemed that the true fire there that day wasn't the inferno that raged in front of the two of them, but the angry inferno that was Megatron's EM field as it blazed and sparked around him with feelings of wrath and betrayal._

_Um," Starscream began. "Besides me, who else have you told that story?"_

_Megatron hummed. "Well, Soundwave, Orion Pax—"_

_Megatron's shoulders tightened and his field suddenly grew hard and cold around him. He abruptly fired off a hot blast of plasma over the field that made the air shake with heat and the ground rumble. The plasma bolt hit dozens of frames and were engulfed in hot violet flames._

_"Besides Soundwave…" Megatron said very slowly. "No one besides you has heard that story. Nobody important, at least."_

_Starscream stood there with wide optics and silently watched the violet inferno blaze on._

_Perhaps his new leader was right. He needed to make himself proud and cut himself off from other bots more. But he couldn't help it—the joy of being praised made his spark sing, and yet—_

_The inferno of frames burned on and on._

_He couldn't afford to end up like those bots._

_If shutting himself off from others was what he needed to do in order to become strong enough and independent enough to survive this war, if all praise from others bots was just a lie and a trick… then Starscream needed to learn to start to praise himself. He had to be less reliant on others._

_He only needed himself._

_"I… I can do this. I can rely on my own praise to carry me forward. I… I personally e-extinguished the spark of the Autobots," he said hesitantly. For some reason those words he uttered made his spark feel tight. He never thought a day would come when he would ever boast about his Autobot kills, but he also thought a day would never come upon which he'd kneel in the ashes of Vos._

_"Good, good." Megatron grabbed onto Starscream's arm and hoisted the Seeker up into the air. He dangled Starscream over the cliff edge and Starscream shrieked at the sight of the far drop down below. He clawed at Megatron's grip on his arm and looked back at Megatron._

_"Sir, no!"_

_Megatron dropped him._

_Starscream plummeted through the air and rapidly transformed. He shot up from the ground in a flurry of fire and arced off into the sky as the hot sting of betrayal ached in his spark._

_Megatron said nothing and continued to silently stare at the ash-ridden horizon as Starscream flipped back into his root-mode and dropped to a knee beside him._

_Starscream's optics were wide and his vents shook his entire frame as raw hurt fizzled through his field._

_"What was that for?!" Starscream whimpered. Megatron's deep shadow fell over him and he continued to kneel on the ground before the warlord. He didn't want to move, he couldn't move, even the slightest motion could provoke Megatron again._

_"You took flight all by yourself," Megatron said slowly._

_"...Yes, because you tossed me off a cliff!"_

_"Which only proves my theory that you do not need to rely on others in order to be confident in yourself and take flight."_

_Starscream's words choked in his throat and he looked up at Megatron. The warlord walked over to the fallen and deactivated frame of another Autobot. He raised his pede and brought it down. The dead mech's chestplate cracked and shattered. He looked back up at Starscream and smiled._

_"Stop relying on praise. Praise is foolhardy and ridden with lies. If you want there to be somebody to have confidence in you… you need to be that somebody. Stop relying on others and only rely on yourself… and me, of course."_

_Megatron reached his talon out to Starscream._

_"Take my talon, Starscream, take it and together we will do such great things."_

_Starscream stared up at him with wide optics. He rapidly glanced back and forth between the corpse-ridden battlefield and Megatron's outstretched talon. If he didn't accept Megatron's talon, he would be just as dead as his fellow soldiers._

_But maybe he was right. Maybe he was too reliant on the validation of others. Maybe he just needed to look within himself all along._

_Starscream slowly reached out and lightly grabbed ahold of Megatron's talon. He flinched as if he expected the talon to burn him._

_Megatron pulled Starscream to his knees and then suddenly leaned in and hugged the Seeker. Starscream's optics widened and he hesitantly wrapped his arms around the massive warlord. Finally! This was the moment in which Megatron would stop being so patronizing to him and would finally see him as a peer, the way he had promised he would—_

_"Oh, Starscream…"_

_Megatron's grasp suddenly grew tighter. Starscream gasped in pain as the warlord's arms tightened and constricted around his entire frame._

_"Never, ever call me 'Sir' ever again."_

_"But then…" Starscream choked out. "What do I call you?"_

_Megatron laughed and every single one of his laughs rumbled through Starscream's frame all the way down to his spark chamber._

_"Always call me Master from now on."_

_"...Yes, Master."_

* * *

They couldn't hear him, but he could hear them. Starscream stared wide-opticked at the ceiling of the medbay. The sounds of the Autobot's voices drifted through the air and rang around in his helm. He scowled and buried his helm in talons, but the murmur of the voices still drifted through and into his helm.

Frag this. He shot upright and stared at the wall. Crime and punishment went hand-in-hand and it was only a matter of time before he was punished for what happened to Bulkhead. No, Optimus would not raise his servo against him, but he couldn't say the same for the other Autobots.

_But Optimus had said otherwise,_ a voice in his helm whispered to him. _He said you were innocent, innocent, innocent—_

The metal of the berth creaked underneath his talon's grip. Starscream looked down and saw that his talons were tightly clenched onto the medbay berth.

His room. He suddenly felt an overwhelming need to get back to his room. There was something precious hidden away there in great jeopardy and he needed to find it and ensure it was safe. Starscream shot upright and his vision briefly flickered in and out as a wave of vertigo made him sway.

A pair of servos grabbed onto his arms and he blinked as his sense of balance returned. Starscream onlined his optics and looked up into the concerned faceplate of Optimus.

"Starscream…"

He scrambled back and away from Optimus. "No, no, I'm fine, I am _fine_—"

"You need to calm down, frag it!" Ratchet grumbled as he strode into the medbay. "The memory transfer you performed with Bulkhead had consequences and we need to discuss them."

"Ooh, we don't need to discuss anything, how about that?"

"Don't get coy with me, I've had enough attitude from you to last me a lifetime!" Ratchet said as he stomped towards Starscream.

Starscream's salvation came in the form of a giant green Wrecker.

"Hey Star!" Bulkhead shouted as he walked into the main room. An enormous wave of relief crashed through Starscream, but at the same time he also felt a deep weight settle upon his spark. Here was the mech he'd saved, but also the mech he would never have needed to save had he not endangered him at all in the first place—

"Have you been avoiding me?" Bulkhead laughed.

"What? I don't avoid things!" Starscream scoffed.

"Ohoho, you even still have your sense of humor, nice!"

"What sense of humor?"

"Ah, classic Star," Bulkhead sighed as he clapped one of his giant servos over Starscream's scarred shoulder. "Y'know, I got worried for you for a moment there, what with the way you hooked your processor into mine… and then the way Soundwave hooked his processor into yours… and the way you then went coocoo for cocoa puffs"

Starscream cleared his throat. "Ah, yes, I was there. I remember."

"Yeah, so do you get why I've got the heebies-jeebies? Sounders didn't do something funky to your processor, did he?" Bulkhead said as he leaned in and inspected the dark weld mark that crossed over the side of Starscream's helm.

Starscream's spark froze for a single moment in fear at the sudden close contact and he stepped away.

"Hey, calm down, I don't bite! Wait…" Bulkhead gasped. "Did I bite you while I was losing my memory? I was pretty out of it, I probably did some pretty weird stuff—"

"No, no, there was no… biting, just lots of painting and creepy whispering," Starscream groaned.

"Ah, good!" Bulkhead laughed. He took a step back and his optics widened as he scanned Starscream up and down. "Woah, you look kinda like slag, Star."

"Harsh, aren't you?" Starscream sniffed.

"No need to throw a hissy fit!"

"I am not throwing a hissy fit!"

"You literally just hissed at me!"

Ratchet pushed his way in between them and pushed Bulkhead back. "Alright, alright, enough bickering! Are you all right?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I'm your doctor. Now, are you all right?"

Starscream rolled his optics. "I'm okay, really, I am. I feel fine!"

Ratchet raised an optical ridge. "Do you really?"

Starscream fell silent and felt the weight within his chest grow. "I…"

Bulkhead pushed past Ratchet and placed both of his servos upon Starscream's shoulders. "Hey, but in all seriousness… you saved me, buddy."

"I… I suppose I did…" Starscream whispered to himself as his optics widened. He was used to having bots angrily attack him because he tried to attack them. He was most certainly not used to having bots warmly praise him because he saved them. The warm gratitude that bubbled in Bulkhead's field and the sheer sense of appreciation he heard in every syllable in the Wrecker's voice made his spark spin. All of this praise should make him feel good, yes, but for some reason, the weight in his chest grew heavier and heavier with each kind word of thanks.

Bulkhead suddenly grabbed Starscream and gave him the most crushing hug a Wrecker possibly could.

"Ease down on the pressure, ease down!" Starscream laughed. He should be happy, he knew that much… yet there was still a lingering sense of doubt closed around his spark. He wanted to just throw his arms around this big weird green Autobot he had befriended, but something held him back. Maybe it was just leftover anxiety, or some deep fear that Megatron had instilled in him, or just something else. He remained frozen in Bulkhead's tight grip and let each one of the Wrecker's massive laughs shake his frame. Optimus watched from the side and the two of them made optic contact. Starscream wasn't sure, but for a single moment he swore he detected a hint of concern in Optimus's field.

Everything felt like it was falling apart. There were so few things in Starscream's life he had any actual control over now. But there was one thing he could control, one precious thing hidden away in his room that could keep him going if things got really bad. He needed to know that it was safe.

Bulkhead finally let Starscream down and smiled at Ratchet. "I swear, it's like he hardly weighs anything at all—"

Starscream briskly walked past the medic and the Wrecker and down the halls of the base. If he saved somebody's life and they praised him while he was still a Decepticon on the Nemesis, he would have just stayed there with them and soaked in all the praise.

But it seemed like the more praise he soaked in, the heavier the weight on his spark fell.

Starscream walked briskly through the halls. They were completely different from the halls of the Nemesis—the Decepticon warship's halls were sharp and hostile and designed to intimidate, whereas the halls of the Autobot base were small, yes, but warm and bright. But both shared one thing in common: both halls were empty most of the time and both were home to long and empty echo chambers he'd wander through when his processor wandered to dark places.

_"You're alone,"_ Megatron's voice whispered in his helm.

Laughter echoed through the air.

_"Because you choose to be alone."_

He wasn't really all that far from the main room, he could still turn around, still walk back and no longer be alone—

Bulkhead's warm laughter bounced through the air. Starscream froze.

_"Because you deserve to be alone,"_ Megatron's oily voice whispered.

It was thanks to him that Bulkhead nearly rotted away, it was thanks to him that that warm laughter almost completely disappeared.

He could walk into the main room with the Autobots, but then that would mean that he'd be in the same room as Bulkhead, within the same room as the bot _he nearly got killed—_

Starscream blinked and looked around. He had turned and fled without even realizing it. It seemed that fleeing came naturally to him.

He hated the voice, hated it so much, he wanted to take his talons and dig them into his helm and rip out the warlord's poisonous voice from his helm so that he wouldn't have to listen to him anymore.

But maybe, this time… maybe the voice was _right_. Maybe he should listen to its advice again so that nobody could get hurt again.

Starscream grit his dentae and walked farther into the depths of the base.

Pede steps resounded throughout the hall and made the floor shake. Starscream froze. The weight of those pedesteps was familiar, but the stride was all wrong. He logically knew that it was not who he thought it was, but there was still some part of him that wanted to cry and run in the opposite direction.

Optimus turned the corner. "We must speak about the upcoming mission."

"Oh, let me guess? You're going to forbid me from going on missions and just let me rot within base!" Starscream said. He filled his voice with as much scorn as possible in order to hide the sheer relief that blossomed in his chestplate at the sight of Optimus. Now that he thought about it, being forbidden from going on a mission was... not a bad thing. He could not hurt other bots if he was not even around them.

"Starscream…"

"Just leave me alone," Starscream scoffed. He was far too dangerous and far too destructive even when he was not trying to be. He'd tried to help, and Bulkhead had to pay the price. He knew that the green Wrecker was safe and well, yes, but some deep part of him felt like Bulkhead was still dead.

No, it would be much better for everybody if he just stayed within the base. He could still contribute, he could still help the team. Just while separated. It was always the way of things. He was meant to be separate and apart from everybody from the moment he was forged. He'd chosen the quarters farthest from Megatron for a reason.

He probably had nothing to worry about. There was no way Prime would allow him to accompany them on yet another ill-fated mission.

A heavy servo landed on his shoulder. "Starscream, I want you to come with us."

Starscream froze and his spark pulsed in his chestplates. He slowly and gradually turned around and came faceplate-to-faceplate with the concerned Prime.

"What?" he asked so softly that even his own audials didn't hear the single shocked word.

Optimus nodded and his field rippled out in pity again. "I know that if I leave you alone here at base then your own guilt will consume you. You are one of your own worst enemies. But if you are beside me, then I can stop you from falling again."

"Falling?" Starscream laughed bitterly. "Falling into insanity again, is that what you're saying? I'm something that needs to be supervised, something that needs to be _observed?_"

"Starscream…"

"Well, is that why you're doing this? So you can observe me?"

"Yes, Starscream. I cannot help you if you are not beside me."

He was going to be observed. That single awful word made his spark pulse within his chestplates. He remembered the way Soundwave lurked outside of his quarters at night and the way the cameras of the Nemesis moved to watch him as he strode through the halls. Even when Megatron was lost deep in the vast depths of space, even when Starscream was at the top of the hierarchy, he never truly was. There was always someone who watched him from above.

"There is a difference," Optimus said in that soft sickening way of his, "between being spied upon, and being cared upon."

Starscream grit his dentae. "And how do you know that I'm not a threat to the team, huh? What if I just mess everything up again?"

"You will not 'mess up.' And even if you do make a mistake, I will help you fix it. I will be beside you."

He gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's shoulder and steered him back towards the main room. Starscream longingly looked over his shoulder at the dark halls in which he could hide.

"I'm fine," he sighed.

Optimus squinted down at him.

Starscream rolled his optics. "What? What's that look mean? Noooooo, don't look at me like that, that's the Primely-look-of-disapproval-and-concern!"

"So you admit that you understand that I am concerned for you."

"Oh, you—! Shoo, go… go transform and roll out, that's the catchphrase, right?"

"Starscream."

"And now you're doing that thing where you say my designation in a tight and worried tone of voice and—and—"

"And it was not your fault."

"And we're not having this conversation."

"We are. We have to have it. Why can you not accept your innocence? You do not have to suffer for the consequences of what happened."

Consequences. Starscream was keenly aware of those. The consequences of his actions were strewn all over the place.

"Oh, are we talking about my nonexistent innocence now?"

"Starscream..."

"I'm not innocent! You know that. I'm a fragging war criminal!"

"Yes, you are guilty for your past crimes. But what happened with Bulkhead? That was no crime, nor was it your fault—"

Starscream groaned and looked longingly back down the hall as Optimus contiend to talk.

"—Look at me, no, look at me. You are _innocent_."

"You've already said that a million times."

"Because it is true and I will say it a million times more if that is what I must do to convince you of your innocence."

"But if I hadn't… hadn't encouraged him to keep reciting…"

"Can you honestly say that you know for certain that your encouragement to make him recite the logs actually accelerated his memory loss?"

"Well, no, but it makes sense, doesn't it?"

"It is over. There is no point in dwelling on it."

"There are many things worth dwelling on, Optimus! Like all of the stupid mistakes I've made since I've arrived here, like the fact that I don't beli—" Starscream's words died in his intake.

"Like the fact that you don't... what?"

Starscream shuffled his pedes. "Um, the fact that I don't, that I can't… fly?"

"That is not what you were originally going to say," Optimus sighed.

"So what?!"

"You were originally going to say that you feel you don't belong here, weren't you?"

Oh no. Oh no. Now Optimus thought he was being ungrateful, now the Prime thought that he was unhappy to be in the base, and then Optimus would question whether he really should keep Starscream in the base or not and whether he should really allow Starscream to become one of them and—

"You accidentally spoke your thoughts out loud again." Optimus said softly. "You're already one of us. Look at your chestplate, Starscream. We did not place that badge there for no reason."

"Well, er, maybe it was the only patch Ratchet had lying around and maybe he just needed it because he just needed something to patch my chestplate with and—"

"This badge is no spare patch he had lying around. He made it specifically for you. He cut it out for you from the same metal sheets you and Bulkhead drew illustrations upon."

Silence.

Starscream then sighed and rubbed his talon down his faceplate. "Slag it, Prime, I'm not worthy, okay? I'm not worthy to follow you or be a part of your legacy."

"Yes, you are. You have proven that. You have begun to understand what it means to be an Autobot and you will be able to teach others what it means to be an Autobot."

"What are you even talking about? I'm nothing without you! I can't go off and teach Little Autobot Junior the art of being an Autobot! That's your thing."

"When our homeworld is rebuilt, you will be there beside me. You will not be cast out from the base, you will be _there, beside me,_ and you will be able to continue on my legacy."

Starscream sighed and leaned against the wall of the hall as he stared at Optimus. The Prime just stared right back unyielding as silence reigned between the two mechs.

"So do you plan these speeches before you talk to me, or what?"

"I do not plan these speeches out beforehand. I speak them from the spark. Maybe one day you will be able to stop lying to yourself and will be able to be truly honest with yourself one day. Maybe one day you will be able to speak from your spark. You are going on the mission so that I can watch over you."

"I don't need 'supervision.'"

"You are correct. You are much more independent than you give yourself credit for. You just need someone to watch over you."

Optimus wanted him out on the mission, out and about with the other Autobots, on a potential _battlefield_ upon which he could potentially mess everything up.

"Do you know what happened the last time I was allowed to go on missions, Optimus?_ I_ happened. _I_ messed everything up!"

Optimus sighed heavily. "And you still cling to the belief that the blame is on your shoulders."

Starscream scoffed. "Well, someone has to take the blame."

"...Why do you think that?"

"Someone has to take the blame and the anger and bear it all. It's for the good of the team."

"...No. That is not for the good of the team. Placing false blame upon someone who has done no wrong and making them bear the burden of the team's anger is a terrible way to run a team. Where did you develop such an idea—? Oh. _Oh._"

"Yes, from... him."

"I have yet again stumbled across another lie he has hooked into your processor."

"It's not a lie, it's the truth! That really is my role back on the Nemesis!"

"It is a terrible truth. That is how Megatron runs things… but not us. You speak as if you feel you are still on the Nemesis."

Silence.

"Do you sometimes still feel like… you are alongside Megatron? As if he never left you?" Optimus asked softly.

_Yes._

"No! And besides, _I_ left _him_," Starscream scoffed.

"He always left _you_ behind to suffer both mentally and physically. Remember, Starscream… you are not alongside him, you are alongside _me_ and always will be beside me for as long as you wish. Always."

Starscream sighed. "If I refuse to go on that mission, you'll just carry me through the bridge, won't you?"

Optimus smiled. "Perhaps."

"Fine then. Just… let me check something first."

Optimus nodded and watched Starscream run off into the shadows of the base.

Starscream skid around a corner and looked in both directions before he then slipped into his room. He shut the door tightly behind him and got onto the floor.

A bright blue glow shone from underneath Starcream's berth. He quickly glanced over his shoulders before he then reached out with his arm and pushed several crates underneath his berth out of the way. Bright blue light spilled out into his room and a vent of pure relief left his frame as he let out a bitter laugh. Several energon cubes were tucked underneath his berth, safely hidden and kept away out of sight.

Safe and hidden—two beautiful things Starscream never had the pleasure of experiencing while on the Nemesis.

The Autobots always gave him a cube every day, yes, but he did not necessarily refuel everyday. One cube went into his systems, and the other he always stowed away safely out of sight. After all, it was only a matter of Prime before he made a terrible mistake and Optimus forbade him from refueling.

Starscream pushed the metal crates back into place and leaned back against the wall as he began to shake. He dragged his talons down his faceplate as his abdomen thrummed with pain. There was nothing wrong with his abdomen, he knew that. The pain wasn't from the present, it was just an echo from the past.

The blue glow of the hidden energon shone faintly from the corner of his vision. Megatron had prevented him from refueling as much as he had needed as a form of punishment. He remembered the way Megatron had loomed over him and the way the warlord's hot breath had stenched of energon as he leaned in close to Starscream and snatched his daily refueling cube away from his talons. He remembered the way he'd blearily stumbled through the Nemesis, half-starved and angry and grieving, grieving not only for Vos but for the old days in which he could refuel as much as he wanted.

A deep voice from within his memories echoed through his helm._ "This is an act of kindness,"_ Megatron had so softly and so kindly whispered as he had ripped the first of many cubes away from Starscream's talons—

Starscream needed more fuel than most other frame types. It seemed he now needed many things nowadays. He held his arms over his abdomen and let out a deep vent.

Optimus had promised him that he would not cruelly punish him, but that was such a strange word, wasn't it?_ Cruelty._ What one bot would consider cruel another would consider to be kind.

_"This is an act of kindness,"_ Megatron's voice whispered in his helm. _"It is an act of mercy. You are lucky that I am merely depriving you of fuel and not instead doing something far worse to you right now."_

And it was mercy. It had been kind of Megatron to just take his sustenance away rather than his life away. Sure, the hunger pangs had hurt, those terrible knife-like stabs of pain that would shoot through his tank as he writhed around on his berth in the middle of his dark room in the Nemesis in the middle of the night—but the hunger pangs had never hurt nearly as much as a regular beatings had hurt.

Most of the time.

What if the rest of the Autobots would decide to punish him for allowing Bulkhead's processor to rot away? What if they decided to limit the amount of energon he intaked in order to keep him hungry and under control. It would be much harder for him to mess up and accidentally get another bot killed if he couldn't even think properly. Yes, Optimus had said that he would be much kinder to him than Megatron had been. The Prime had said he would never beat him, so instead he would probably just prevent Starscream from refueling because that was kindness after all.

His hidden stash of energon was safely tucked away, it was safe, it was, _and yet—_

Starscream got up to walk away and then froze. He reached out with the tip of his pede and lightly nudged one of the metal crates the side. Blue light shone across the floor.

Another imaginary pang of hunger rippled through his abdomen. He was so familiar with the pain of starvation that just merely thinking of it brought the pain back.

He ran out into the hall and towards the main room. Maybe he would be able to find an enormous cache of energon while out on the mission—or maybe he would find nothing at all. Either way, he would never have to experience the sharp pains of hunger ever again.

The stache was safe. The energon was safe. And when the day came that Optimus would cut down his daily energon ration, then he would still be able to sneak away and refuel. Starscream let out a sigh of relief as he walked back into the halls of the base. The hunger was painful, but still so much more merciful and so much kinder than a beating. He could only hope that Optimus would only cut down his daily ration by just a quarter instead of by half, the same way Megatron used to.

That would be merciful.

Kindness indeed.

He got up and walked out into the main room. All he had to do was get this stupid mission over with.

"Hey Star!" a voice shouted.

Starscream froze. Everybody turned around and all laid optics on Bulkhead as he ran up to them.

No. No. _No_. The sight of that familiar green armor and easy smile made something tight coil up in Starscream's tank for some reason. A burst of guilt shot through him. Bulkhead had done so much for him, and yet here he was, terrified of the Wrecker for some odd reason.

Bulkhead ran up to Starscream at full speed with his arms out—

Starscream instinctively stepped back. He'd literally just seen him, yet, but it still surprised him to see the Wrecker intact and whole.

Bulkhead froze and his smile fell. "You alright there, Star?"

Starscream remained silent and said nothing at all as he stared wide-opticed at Bulkhead—Bulkhead, the mech he nearly got killed, Bulkhead, the bot he had failed, the same Bulkhead who had nearly become his latest victim—

Starscream forced a smile onto his faceplate. "It is good to see you, Wrecker."

Bulkhead snorted. "We just met! Oh, so we're back to Wrecker now? You keep that up and I'll go back to to calling you 'Starry,' I know you hate that nickname!"

"Hahaha, such humor, yes, well," Starscream slammed down onto the groundbridge lever and watched the bright green bridge whirl to life in the middle of the room. Everybody looked up in surprise at the bridge's sudden activation.

"We should get this over this," Starscream said tightly. He needed to get this all over with. The warm hugs, the smiles, the kindness. No, he'd nearly gotten one of them killed and shouldn't go on missions with the rest of them anymore. But they wouldn't take no as an answer, not yet. He'd tag along and grin through every mission that he had to before they inevitably came to the same realization he had. Soon they would realize just how destructive he truly was and relegate him to the sidelines where he should be and—

Optimus put a servo on his shoulder and gave the Seeker a long look.

"Um, don't do that," Starscream said as he coughed awkwardly.

"Do what?"

"Don't… don't look at me like I'm a broken tool."

Optimus frowned. "Is that how you are used to being looked at?"

Starscream's optics widened and his intake opened and closed as he tried to find something to say. "I'm not broken!"

Optimus hummed and looked over at Ratchet.

"Ratchet, I feel that it would be best if you accompanied us in order to help me keep an optic on Starscream. I am confident that he has healed correctly, but the implications of the memory transfer still concern me."

"That's really not necessary—" Starscream began to say. Optimus took one look at him and the Seeker went silent.

Ratchet sighed heavily and dragged his servo down his faceplate. "I'm not getting out of this, now am I?"

"I am afraid not, old friend."

Ratchet pointed a digit right at Jack up on the mezzanine. "You. Bridge us back, assuming that Starscream doesn't get us all blasted to bits in the meantime."

Starscream flinched at Ratchet's words and bit his lip. Hopefully nobody had noticed. Optimus looked at him intently and hooked his arm around the Seeker's shoulder.

"Autobots… transform and roll out."

"But I can't transform!" Starscream said with a huff.

"Then you and I will walk through this bridge… _together_."

* * *

The moment he emerged from the bridge Starscream shrugged off Optimus's arm and ran outside into the cold air. He was not running from his problems. Nope, not at all.

Optimus stepped up beside him and gave him a long look. His field prickled with hesitation, he frowned, and slag it, the Prime was going to pull him aside and try to have another one of his chats with him and—

Starscream looked at where they had bridged to and his optics widened. "I remember this place," he said.

The rest of the Autobots came out of the bridge and they all looked down into the far valley below. Rolling green trees stretched as far as their optics could see and grey jagged mountains rose up far off in the distance. He remembered flying through this place's cold grey skies and riding the drafts of air that curled off the mountain peaks. Starscream's back twinged in pain at the memory of its missing wing.

"Energon was detected here. The ground is too uneven to drive, so we must walk," Optimus said as they all began to walk on top of a ridge that overlooked the valley below. He looked at Starscream and narrowed his optics. "I worry about how the… incident… has affected you."

"The incident?" Starscream asked. He knew precisely what the Prime asked him, but some part of him thought that maybe if he pretended the incident hadn't happened at all it would somehow become easier to move past it.

"You know precisely what I speak of. You have not been the same since then."

Bulkhead's optics had been so cold and so blue and so _dead—_

"I'm over it," Starscream said coolly.

Optimus raised an orbital ridge. "Are you really, though? I know a shaken mech when I see one. You have the same look in your optics that you did back in the cave."

Starscream _stood_ still and stared up at Optimus. "What are you trying to imply? I'm not the same bot I was back in the cave! I'm no longer such a sad and broken thing."

"But just now, you did not deny that you are broken."

Starscream pointed his talon at the Prime. "Not here! Not now! Not where…"

"... the others can see?"

"Yes, precisely," Starscream huffed.

"They have already seen how broken you are."

"Well, they don't need a reminder!"

"There is no shame in showing weakness."

"Yes, there is! Megatron taught me that!"

Optimus shook his helm and grabbed onto Starscream's shoulders. "You need to learn to move past his lessons. He did not educate you, he miseducated you."

"And I know that. But surely not all of his lessons could have been that bad, right? I don't…" Starscream trailed off and fluttered his wing anxiously.

Optimus looked out over the valley. "Perhaps. But there was most likely a sinister purpose behind everything he taught you—even the most seemingly innocuous of lessons."

He had centered so much of his life around Megatron's teachings. Now it felt like heresy to abandon them all.

"I understand that unlearning everything that you have been taught over thousands of years will be… a difficult experience, but I will be there beside you for it all."

"Why do you always keep saying that?" Starscream asked softly.

"Saying what?"

"Saying that you'll always be beside me and that we'll always be together!"

"Because it is true, Starscream. I will ensure that we stay _together_ through all of this."

The air buzzed. Starscream and Optimus both looked at each other and then down over the ridge below. Something bright purple slammed into the ridge and the rocks shifted underneath them.

The ground slid out from under their pedes in a flurry of rocks. Optimus reached out to grab Starscream's arm, but his servos grazed the tips of Starscream's talons and the Seeker plummeted down alongside Ratchet and Arcee.

The three of them rolled down the steep hill and into the valley below as a cloud of dust from the landslide completely covered the area. Starscream shot to his pedes and looked around for Optimus… and then looked up. Three pairs of bright blue optics watched from up high.

Optimus looked down over the ridge and at Arcee, Ratchet, and Starscream below. His optics lingered on Starscream and he called down to them. "We will rendezvous ahead! Stay calm," he said. Somehow, Starscream understood that the Prime's request to stay calm was directed right at him in particular.

"Greattt," Starscream groaned as he brushed dust off his frame. The Prime's absence made a knot form in his spark. All he wanted was to flee from Optimus, but now that they were separated he was upset again. He turned around and saw the two Autobots who hated him the most right behind him.

"Let's get this over with. You're staying in my sight this time. No dirty tricks!" Ratchet said as he began to tromp off into the direction Optimus had pointed.

"'Dirty tricks?' My tricks aren't dirty!" Starscream scoffed. He looked behind his shoulder at the landslide and shuddered. The air here was always cold, yes, but for some reason it felt colder today.

"You're staying within my line of sight. The last time I looked away from you you were attacked by a monster truck!"

"Uh, no," Starscream said as he shook his helm. "I was attacked with a monster truck. There is a difference."

Ratchet and Arcee looked at each other.

"What? There is! Okay, that bit in particular was a tad reckless of me I suppose, but I only managed to get my processor invaded just once, so _ha!_"

Arcee snorted. "You are not making the point that you think you are making."

"Oh, shush, let me finish. I mean, yes, it was… my fault that what happened to Bulkhead happened…"

Arcee and Ratchet glanced at each other again.

"...but the monster truck nonsense? Not my fault! Blame the fleshies for building the things in the first place!"

A slender purple shape darted over the treetops. The air buzzed, Starscream's optics widened—and the sound of a fired blaster echoed loud and clear over the woods.

"Oh, frag!" Arcee sighed.

"I swear, if that's a monster truck—"

"Shush, Starscream!" Ratchet groaned.

Starscream, Arcee, and Ratchet all glanced at each with wide optics and ran into the woods. Far up ahead a massive cloud of smoke belched out of a hole in the ground. The air was lit up with sparks and glowed a hot shade of orange as the ground itself burned.

"What the frag even is that?" Ratchet said as he looked down into the burning pit.

Starscream peered over the edge and stumbled back as a wave of nostalgia overtook his processor. He knew this place. It was the first mine he'd proudly established when Megatron vanished into the stars.

And now his mine had just been completely ruined.

Starscream clenched his talons into his fists and stared down at the mine he had worked so hard to create and that was now an inferno. Arcee watched him cautiously with wide optics and a sense of trepidation filled her field as she kept an optic on the angry Seeker.

"Why would Megatron be foolish enough to destroy a perfectly good mine, and not just any mine, but the one _I_ created?" Starscream snapped.

He knew that he needed to leave his life as a Decepticon behind, but he just couldn't help it. He remembered detecting this source of energon and remembered breaking the first ground upon it. For a single moment in time just a few years ago, he had stood there, his wings wide and proud as he looked upon the mine that he had created.

He was an Autobot now—or so Optimus said—and he knew he shouldn't care anymore about being a 'Con. He knew he needed to stop considering his Decepticon achievements as actual achievements. They were for the wrong side after all and each good thing that happened to the 'Cons was bad for the Autobots, they were bad for _Optimus_. But this mine couldn't help but remind him of the good days when he was a success, the good days when he_ didn't_ make critical errors that nearly resulted in his friend's processor's rotting away and—

Starscream smelled ash. Not just any ash, but the ash that had drifted through the red skies of Vos after his city had been blown to cinders. Starscream clenched his talons into fists even tighter and felt the tips of his talons prick the mesh of his servo and draw up energon.

"Pah, who knows why Megatron even does anything anymore?" Ratchet grumbled.

Arcee stared at Starscream from across the flames. "I thought you no longer cared about your life as a Decepticon," she said coldly, slowly, _accusingly._

"And I don't!" Starscream said quickly. Something moved in the trees. "It's not like that… it's not, it's just—"

The trees to their sides rustled and Starscream froze. He looked out into the dark trees and swore he saw a slender purple shape dart past.

"We can go around the fire," Arcee suggested.

"No," Starscream said. If they went around the flames then they would have to go into the trees, the same cold dark trees that made chills run down his spinal strut and that made his spark twist in on itself.

"What's the problem now?" Ratchet sighed.

"The problem here is that going around the fire is a stupid idea. That's the problem."

Arcee frowned and frustration blared in her field. "Oh, and what's so wrong with it?"

_There is something there in the woods,_ Starscream thought to himself. It would be so easy to just open his intake and say those words, but something made him halt and pause. He'd lost the ability to hide the fear in his voice a long time ago. There was no way in slag he was going to walk up to the two Autobots who judged him and hated him the most and fearfully tell them that he was scared of the dark like a little sparkling. No, he'd pretend everything was fine. To show fear was to show weakness and he was not weak.

"I can handle this, we can just… walk around the edge of the mine," Starscream said. The flames had died down but still flickered across the burnt and blackened soil along the edge of the mine.

"Are you sure about that?" Ratchet said.

"What, do you think I can't handle a walk through the woods?"

"I think that you just can't handle fire, that's all," Ratchet said as he crossed his arms.

Starscream leaned in and narrowed his optics at the medic. "And why do you think that?"

Ratchet frowned and his field crinkled around him uncomfortably. "Optimus said that you have certain… triggers."

Starscream ignored them both and walked into the flames. He ignored their shouts behind him and marched right ahead. Something cold and dark slithered through the shadowy trees beside him, but he kept his optics pointed right ahead of him. He was being followed, he was certain of that now, but he couldn't bear to look.

The small flames licked the ground around his pedes and the smell of hot ash circulated through the air, but everything was fine, everything was fine. Starscream continued to walk forward—

A tree that had been on fire exploded with a large boom.

Starscream shrieked and instinctively looked up into the sky. One of Vos's towers had just snapped and boomed and it was going to fall, it was going to fall right on him—

The air buzzed. His helm snapped over and he looked through the flames and saw the outline of a violet visor that watched him from within the woods.

He stood completely still near the edge of the mine and just stared in silent horror.

"Why are you so arrogant?!" Arcee hissed at Starscream as she grabbed ahold of his arm and helped him stumble out of the flames.

Starscream collapsed to his knees in the dirt and desperately cycled his vents in order to blow out the hot ash of Vos that had settled into them. Except it wasn't Vos's ash, now was it? He growled and slammed his fist into the ground. He was a fool for letting his memories get the best of him again.

"Oh, you want to know why I am so arrogant?" he said slowly. Arcee was backlit by the flames and her shadow fell right over him. Ratchet watched intently from behind her.

"I want to know why you're so proud all the time and why you felt proud enough to kill—" Arcee's optics widened and she fell silent as she stared down at him. "Just… why the arrogance?"

Starscream rose to his pedes and looked up through the dark trees at the stars. "It is just who I am. We really need to find the others."

He tried to walk off, but Arcee reached out and grabbed his arm. "You didn't answer my question," she said coldly.

Starscream rolled his optics and tried to walk off again as his spark pulsed harder in his chestplates. She could never be allowed to know the true reason behind his arrogance, ever. He'd already exposed too much of his vulnerability to her and—

He froze. Something was wrong Arcee stared at him with wide optics.

"You said that out loud," Ratchet said gruffly.

"So, what _is_ the true reason behind your pride?" Arcee said as she crossed her arms.

Starscream slapped his talon over his intake and took deep vents. She could never know, Ratchet could never know, Optimus… probably already knew.

"I just want to know why you constantly lord yourself over everybody," Arcee said.

Starscream took a deep and shuddery vent. _Lord._ The word rang around and around in his helm and brought back memories of hot red optics, shouting, cold silver armor, and _oh, Starscream._

"What is the answer, oh _Lord Starscream?_" Ratchet said.

Something within Starscream snapped.

"I am arrogant because I _have to be!_" he shrieked.

Arcee and Ratchet both stepped back from him as he panted heavily. He stared at them for a few moments before he suddenly and swiftly turned around and began to walk off into the woods.

"In order to make myself great… I have to pretend to be great. If I'm not arrogant, if I'm not proud, then I'll stop having confidence within myself. And when I lose my confidence…" Starscream trailed off. He shouldn't be saying any of this, he shouldn't, but the words continued to come and his mine continued to burn behind him.

"And when I lose my confidence," he softly continued, "I sometimes lose_ myself_ in the process. I falter, do you know that? And I cannot afford to falter anymore."

"...Starscream, I think you already lost yourself," Arcee said.

He said nothing and continued to stare into the woods as regret wracked his frame. He should not have said that, should not have said anything at all—

"So you lie to yourself in order to keep yourself… motivated?" Arcee asked him.

Starscream took a deep vent and resisted the urge to lash out with his talons. "We all have our little lies, two-wheeler."

"Y'know, Starscream…" Arcee began. He rolled his optics and waited for her to go on yet another angry tirade about Cliffjumper and arrogance and his dark past.

"...sometimes I kind of pity you," she softly finished.

Starscream slowed to a halt and stood still in the middle of the dense woods. He stared out into the gloom of the forest and kept his optics pointed away from the femme.

He didn't need to have Optimus to be there to know what the Prime would say to him. He'd probably tell him to _"let go of his arrogance"_ and to _"stop lying, please,"_ and to—

A thousand different things Optimus had said to him over his time with the Autobots suddenly came raced through Starscream's helm.

Optimus stepped out of the dense trees and right up to Starscream.

"Are you real?" he whispered to the Prime.

_"Let go of your arrogance,"_ the imaginary Optimus's voice echoed within his helm.

"I am here, Starscream," the real Optimus said with a tinge of hurt in his field.

Starscream stepped back. Optimus's field had shook with grief for just a single moment. Somehow he had managed to upset the Prime.

"What did I do?" Starscream hyperventilated. He had done something wrong, he had upset the Prime, he couldn't even tell if it was the real Optimus before him or not. The sickening but oh-so familiar feeling of being small and sad and weak clenched around his spark and he stepped back. He was tired of being weak, tired of crying over the holoforms who wore the faces of his dead friends and tired of the coolant that prickled in his optics whenever he thought about how Bulkhead's processor had nearly rotted away and how it was _his fault—_

Arcee stepped up to him and expectantly looked at him. He could for once in his life drop the mask and just let it shatter. He could just let himself be vulnerable and humble for once. Maybe for once a conversation with her wouldn't have to end in a fight.

He took a deep vent—

And smelled the ash of Vos again.

"You have done nothing wrong, Starscream," Optimus said as he smoothened his field and hid the tinge of hurt within it. "It just grieved me to see how the holoforms have impacted your perception of reality and ruined your ability to tell if I was real or not—"

He tuned Optimus's voice out and stared into the woods. He opened himself up and stepped down from his arrogance for just a split moment and now everything was going to slag. He'd mistakened the Prime for just another one of those wretched holoforms. But even worse, he'd hurt Optimus's feelings. He hurt them.

And he'd nearly even gotten Bulkhead killed.

No, he couldn't allow himself to ever be humble like this ever again. He didn't deserve all of this patience and kindness when all he did was hurt bots.

He faltered and that could _not_ be allowed to happen again.

Optimus reached out to take ahold of Starscream's shaky talon—-it had begun to shake and he hadn't even realized that, oh Primus—and gently lifted the Seeker's servo. Arcee stood beside the Prime and looked at Starscream with more concern than he had ever seen from her before.

"Starscream…" she said.

He didn't deserve this. If he had to be arrogant to drive the Prime away from him a bit and to ensure that he wouldn't frag up and hurt Optimus's emotions yet again, then he'd be arrogant again.

Starscream pulled his talon out of Optimus's servo and ignored the way the action made his spark shrivel up on the inside.

"I can stand… on my own," he said slowly.

Optimus stared at him with wide optics, the flames burned behind him, the stench of Vos's corpse drifted in the air—-

"He was just trying to help you!" Arcee snapped. "How could you reject Prime like that? How could you?"

Bulkhead stepped out of the trees and looked upon the scene with wide optics. He stepped closer to Arcee and held her back as she began to advance upon the Seeker.

Starscream sighed and rolled his optics. "Not now."

"No, we are doing this right now!"

"Hey, Star," Bulkhead awkwardly cleared his throat. "'Bee said he wanted you!"

Starscream considered him for a moment. "Did he really say that?"

Bulkhead bit his lip and nodded. "Yep, and I should take you to him!" He gently pushed Arcee away from the Seeker and he shared a long glance with Optimus as he grabbed Starscream by the arm and led the Seeker off.

"Hep hep hep, you two need supervision!" Ratchet grumbled as he ran after Starscream and Bulkhead.

"Where are we going?" Starscream asked as the stench of Vos grew thicker and hotter in his vents. He wasn't sure if more things really continued to burn or if it was just a fire in his imagination.

"Oh, there's a fire alright," Bulkhead muttered as he led Starscream off into the woods. "And yes, you said that out loud."

Starscream groaned and covered his intake with his talon again. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Arcee and Optimus stare at him as he was led off.

"'Bee needs you. There really is a fire, but it's… of a different kind," Bulkhead sighed. Somehow, Starscream knew that he wasn't talking about the inferno that blazed behind them.

_"You're burning up, Starscream,"_ said a voice in his helm that sounded like both Arcee and Optimus.

_"You're burning up."_

* * *

"Well, where is Bumblebee?" Starscream sighed as Bulkhead led him through a thick cluster of trees.

Bulkhead scratched the back of his neck cabling. "Uh… not here. I kinda lied a bit just so that I'd have an excuse to pull you away from that mess."

"What?! You said he needed me!"

"I think _you_ need _him_."

"I had the situation under control!"

Ratchet and Bulkhead both glanced at each other.

"Whatever you say!" Bulkhead laughed. It wasn't the usual easygoing laugh the Wrecker normally had. Instead, there was something tense and… sad about it.

Starscream silently walked alongside Bulkhead with Ratchet right behind them. He had previously felt so comfortable in the Wrecker's presence, but now that it was just the two of them alone he never felt more nervous. A part of him couldn't even believe that Bulkhead was still here, alive, and most importantly, whole. Some part of Starscream still expected the Wrecker to turn around at any moment, open his intake, and eerily whisper the words of a mech who died thousands of years ago.

"But really, what did you pull me away for?" he sighed as he pulled his pede free of a loose vine.

"Uhh, you were about to rip each other's neck cabling out."

"There will be no neck-ripping here today!" Ratchet scowled. "Starscream, what compelled you to act like that?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Starscream grit out as he carefully walked across the dense forest floor.

"C'mon, Star, we can all tell you have a bad case of the heebie-jeebies. Just tell Doc and I and everything will be fine!" Bulkhead said. If only it were that easy.

Starscream glanced back at Ratchet and felt his spark chamber tighten. There was something about the way that the medic looked at him that made a chill go down his spinal strut. Ratchet had already seen his spark and peered into the deepest parts of his internals—there was no way he would also allow the medic to also see his deepest mental insecurities.

Starscream sighed and stared up at the cluster of stars Cybertron was in. "Let's just… keep going."

Bulkhead led him and Ratchet through a dark cluster of trees that was covered in thick dense foliage. Bulkhead and Ratchet were able to walk across the tangled forest floor with ease, but Starscream on the other servo…

Starscream swore as the sharp point of his pede got caught on yet another vine.

"You're having trouble walking! No surprise there, what with those dainty pedes of yours," Bulkhead laughed.

"What? Dainty? I can assure you that my pedes are not dainty, they are _deadly!_"

"Whatever you say, Starry."

"Don't call me Starry!"

"Whatever you say, Sunshine."

"That's even worse!"

"Bulkhead…" Ratchet said cautiously.

"Calm down, calm down, I shouldn't have led you down this path, but it's too late to turn back now. Let me just transform my servo and then I can help you!" Bulkhead said as he activated his wrecking ball. Starscream stared at him in confusion as Bulkhead walked up to a tree that blocked Starscream's path and swung his wrecking ball at it.

One tree fell after another in a shower of leaves and splinters. Each swing of the wrecking ball sent tree after tree into the darkness of the woods and cleared the forest path ahead. Starscream stared wide-opticed ahead of him as Bulkhead tore the forest apart—all for his sake.

"You don't have to do this," Starscream whimpered. Normally he loved it when bots went through trouble to accommodate him, but _this—_

"It's fine, let me make a way for you!" Bulkhead laughed as it was nothing. Perhaps to him, this all was nothing. Perhaps this was just the kind of thing he did for his friends.

_Friends._ And that was what the two of them were. _Friends._ Starscream felt a rush of joy at the thought of having another bot by his side.

Ratchet stood beside Starscream and they both watched the Wrecker tear through the forest.

"You've earned his trust," Ratchet said coldly.

Trust. Starscream didn't like that word. "I suppose I have, but I still have no clue what I did to deserve it."

Ratchet frowned. "You… really just don't get it, do you?"

Bulkhead turned around and for a single moment Starscream saw a long and thin scratch down his backplate. That hadn't been there before, Starscream silently mused to himself. He was quite observant and was quite certain that that new scar had to have been a result of Bulkhead's fight with Breakdown a few days ago.

Starscream's spark froze.

The fight with Breakdown. The fight that Bulkhead engaged in in a desperate attempt to reach Starscream, in an attempt to protect him—

The wrecking ball continued to swing and the trees continued to fall. Here was this mech who was so devoted to him, who felt enough concern for him and devotion to him to destroy a whole swathe of land for him.

The last bots who had felt that kind of devotion to Starscream had ended up suffering for it.

Starscream clenched his talons into fists. He did not deserve this kind friendship and as much as the thought pained him, he would have to find some way to distance himself from the Wrecker. Starscream was not meant for companionship.

It was the way of things.

He would not allow Bulkhead to become collateral. He would distance the Wrecker away from no matter how much it pained him to do so. It was worth it if it meant that Bulkhead would not get caught up further in the crossfire of Starscream's disastrous life.

Bulkhead looked behind his shoulder and beckoned Starscream forward. "Come on, I cleared the way for ya, it'll be fine for your pedes now!"

"I'm fine," Starscream mumbled as he walked through the new path opened up for him, all for his sake—

Bulkhead's smile turned into a frown when he saw the somber expression upon the Seeker's faceplate. "You look like you just drank sour energon. You okay there, Starry?"

"I'm fine!" Starscream snapped.

An ugly and yet very familiar sense of urgency rose up within him. It was that same sense of urgency he felt when confronted with the sight of Megatron leering down at him, that urgent need to escape and flee from the warlord's servos before they would come down on him.

He couldn't allow Bulkhead to grow close to him again, so he would just have to lie and lock down his true feelings. No more mournful spark-to-sparks in monster truck arenas, oh no. Starscream had had to drive bots away from him before in order to keep them safe. They were always surprised at first, and then betrayed, and then _angry._ Ratchet's optics continued to coldly stare at him and a faint undercurrent of anger lingered at the edge of the field, a sense of anger that was _always _there whenever Starscream was around the medic.

Starscream had wanted friends for so long now, but he needed to lessen the strength of this friendship while he still could. He would never abandon Bulkhead completely, they had been through too much together to do that. He just needed to distance himself. The idea killed him and made his spark shrivel and his vents come in harsh gasps, but it was a cruel necessity to keep Bulkhead safe.

If Bulkhead knew of his true plans to try and distance himself from him, Bulkhead would surely be betrayed—and maybe even wrathful.

Starscream's wing fell as he followed after Bulkhead. He could never allow Bulkhead to know his true feelings on things ever again. No, he could never allow anybody to know how he truly felt about things… except maybe Prime, although Optimus seemed to always already know.

Whenever he told the truth he incurred bot's wrath. If he had to lie from now on in order to avoid his friend's anger, then fine.

Starscream had to do whatever it took to avoid making bots angry. So if he had to lie, so be it.

He hadn't had to lie in a long time because the Autobot base was not a place where you had to lie to survive. Optimus had taught him that over and over and over again—but a few weeks under the teachings of a new leader could never completely erase the teachings his old Master had instilled in him over the course of millions of years.

_Lie,_ the cold voice in his helm whispered. It had the rumble of Megatron's voice, the echo of Skywarp's, and the harsh grovel of Thundercracker all mixed into one. His spark clenched—it had been a long time since he had to lie to survive, a long long time, and he logically understood that this wasn't a matter of life and death, he knew that he wouldn't be beaten for failing to provide a better explanation to Bulkhead, _and yet—_

"I'm fine," Starscream duly repeated.

"Oh, slag, every bot knows that that's what you say when you're really_ not_ fine!"

Another swing of the wrecking ball brought another tree down.

The trees got caught up upon one another in a twisted and criss-crossed mess of sharp branches. Something shone hot violet off in the woods and then disappeared.

Starscream looked at Bulkhead and Bulkhead looked at Starscream as silence reigned.

The truth was right there on the tip of his tongue, _I'm not fine and I need you so badly—_

"I…" Starscream began to say as the massive tree finally broke loose. It crashed behind them like thunder and made the earth itself shake right as Starscream made his choice.

"I'm fine."

Ratchet buried his faceplate in his servos. Bulkhead's optics went wide. First came the surprise, as expected. Starscream turned his optics away and grit his dentae. Bulkhead's field flared and then came the sense of betrayal—

And now the anger would come.

"I'm not angry, Star."

Starscream's optics shot wide open and he looked right at Bulkhead. "What?"

"Yeah, you spoke out loud again. I'm not angry. I'm just... disappointed in you. After all we've been through?"

Starscream felt his spark grow tighter and felt as if his chest would implode upon itself at any moment now.

"You're upset with me for lying—which I am not, by the way—when you in fact literally just lied about Bumlebee wanting to see me so that you could have an excuse to snatch me away?!"

"That was totally different! I lied so that I could get you away from Arcee! I lied to protect you!"

Starscream scoffed. "And that's why _I_ lie!"

"Is… is that really why you're shutting down on me and lying? So that you can protect me?"

Starscream's optics went wide and he weakly raised a talon to protest. "Well... "

"You don't need to protect me. You can trust me. Megs won't come and blast me to bits if you let me into your life a little more," Bulkhead said more softly this time. The usual bravado he had was now gone and there was something more sentimental and concerned in his field now.

The Seeker sighed. He was worried about Megatron attacking Bulkhead due to their friendship now, yes, but Starscream was mostly worried about the other bot who posed the true threat to Bulkhead's safety now. No, Megatron wasn't the biggest threat to Bulkhead's safety. The bot who had the most potential to completely ruin the Wrecker's life again, who had the potential to hurt him the most—-

"It's me," Starscream whispered. He stopped and froze. Bulkhead's jaw dropped and he stared at him with wide optics.

Starscream immediately slapped his talon over his intake as he began to swear. "Slag it, why do I keep talking out loud?!"

"D'ya really think that… you're the biggest threat to my safety?" Bulkhead asked softly.

Starscream sighed and rolled his optics. "Forget what I said."

"Starryyyyy—"

"I said, forget it!"

"You can't order me around!" Bulkhead scoffed.

"Oh, but I could've!" Starscream snapped as he whirled around and pointed his talon right at Bulkhead.

The Wrecker's field flared with confusion. "What are you even talking about?"

"It was because of _my_ actions that you nearly became an emotionless husk, it was nearly because of me that you almost ended up becoming an empty frame that we could all order around!"

Bulkhead's jaw dropped. "Okay, we need to talk. Deep sad-and-feely chat time."

"Nooo, I hate those!" Starscream groaned.

He knew he could trust him. If there was one bot to share his insecurities with besides Optimus, it would be Bulkhead. Bulkhead, who had listened to him spill his spark out before… and who he had nearly gotten killed.

"I…" Starscream began. It would be all too easy to just open his intake and let the words come out.

But he said nothing.

"I'll still be with you even if you don't want to be with me," Bulkhead said. "You're working through some slag, I get it! If you want some alone time so that you can mope, that's fine. Just… let me finish clearing this path for you—"

Starscream lurched forward and grabbed onto Bulkhead's wrecking ball before he swung it at another tree in the way. "No, no, totally unnecessary, not needed, I can walk just fine in these woods!"

He walked past Bulkhead, took a step into the thick and cramped underbrush, and tripped right away.

Bulkhead's servo shot out and he grabbed onto Starscream's talon just in time to halt the Seeker's descent toward the forest floor.

Starscream hung suspended by Bulkhead's strong servo and slowly rose up to his full height.

Bulkhead smiled sadly. "You like me, don't lie. You don't need to lie anymore, y'know that, right?"

"I—well—"

_Some lies were necessary._

Bulkhead shook his helm. "Ohoho, you can be all cold and aloof you want, you can try and cut me out of my life if you want, but I'm still gonna stick by you. Don't look so surprised, I'm smarter than I look! I know what's really going on here. When you memory transferred with me… I kinda… saw some things. You tried to first send me the memories of our time together in order to jog my processor, but, er, you kind of ended up sending me the wrong memories at first."

Ratchet walked back up to the two of them and Starscream remembered with a jolt that Ratchet was even there. "And when were you going to mention this little fact, Bulkhead?!" Ratchet scowled.

A cold chill swept through Starscream's spark. "What did you see?" he asked softly with just a tinge of terror.

Bulkhead's smile vanished. "Enough. I saw what happened to your trine—"

Starscream snarled and began to stomp off into the woods.

"Hey, hey, this is not hissy fit time, this is important conversation time, 'kay?!" Bulkhead groaned as he grabbed Starscream's talon again and pulled the Seeker back to him. "I saw what happened to the trine, okay? And I… am not scared of you. I know that you won't hurt me the same way you accidentally hurt them. That was just a dumb fluke, a mistake, and—"

"Nobody is supposed to know about that! Nobody! So just _frag off!_"

The two of them stared at each other in silence. Bulkhead just stared expressionlessly and Starscream stood there as his vents worked overtime.

Bulkhead walked right up to Starscream so close that their forehelms nearly touched. He leaned in—

And then he stepped past Starscream and swung his wrecking ball out and crushed another tree in the way. Then another. And another. He stomped forward into the woods as his field hardened around him with determination.

He turned around. "I am going to clear this path for you, whether you like it or not."

Starscream shakily dragged his talons down his faceplate. Normally lying made him feel powerful, made him feel like he'd circumvented the rules and done something clever—but not this time. He'd already opened his spark out to this mech and just could not bring himself to do so again.

He stomped off into the dense trees ahead of him and tripped all the while.

* * *

The two of them emerged out of the thick trees and into a wide open field. Arcee, Bumblebee, and Optimus all looked up as Starscream and Bulkhead walked back up to them.

Optimus took one look at Starscream and his field instantly filled with concern. Arcee scowled at him and Bulkhead was cold and silent by his side. It was all just way too much emotion and way too many bots all at once, Starscream needed to get away from all this—

_"I detected an energy source up near the hills,"_ Bumblebee beeped. _"It could be energon!"_

"Spectacular, I should run off into the hills alone and take a look!" Starscream said as he clapped his talons. He badly needed to just get away and alone from everybody.

"We have detected multiple sources and we must investigate them," Optimus said as he glanced at the awkward way Bulkhead and Arcee refused to look at Starscream. Bumblebee looked back and forth and glanced at Optimus.

Optimus stepped forward to Starscream. "I think we need to investigate this together," he said.

"Yes, separately!" Starscream nodded.

"No. We will investigate _together_."

Oh no. Prime now had that look on his faceplate, the look he had right when he was about to pull Starscream aside and make the Seeker open up to him.

_"The source I detected… Optimus, it might be hard for you to reach it. It's higher up in the mountain and it will be hard for you to get past the narrow rocks. I mean, it's possible, but it will take you a long time to drive up there!"_ Bumblebee said.

Optimus frowned and sighed as he cast a glance at Starscream. "I see. I sense that something is amiss with this place and it would be best to complete this mission more swiftly."

Starscream let out a breath of relief. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to the Prime, it was just that he didn't want to talk to him right at that moment when he felt like his wing was about to fall off and his spark was about to implode upon itself.

Fortunately, it seemed like Optimus would let him investigate the potential energon source by himself.

Optimus leaned over and whispered to Bumblebee for a few moments. Bumblebee nodded and walked up to Starscream. _"We'll investigate together!"_ he blooped.

Ratchet sighed and walked back up to Starscream. "Unfortunately, I'm still on Seeker Watch, so I'll be tagging along."

Starscream's optics twitched. "...Spectacular."

* * *

Starscream walked up the steep cliffs and weaved his way through the rocks as he followed behind the scout. Bumblebee glanced back over his shoulder at Starscream every minute or so as the air buzzed with a nervous energy.

Oh, he knew what had happened. Optimus knew he wouldn't be able to come himself, so he went and assigned the smaller yellow version of himself with the task of making Starscream spill his spark out.

Bumblebee sputtered. _"That is not what—!"_

"I swear to Primus, if I keep talking out loud, I'm going to never remove my talon from my intake! Ever!" Starscream shrieked as he slapped his talon over his intake again.

_"You can be a bit of a sparkling sometimes,"_ Bumblebee sighed.

"Hey, _you're_ the sparkling here!" Starscream snapped.

_"Am I, though?"_

"What?! Oh, you little—!"

Ratchet ran between them. "No more bickering, I'm tired of it! Are you sure there really is energon up here?!"

_"I know I detected something,"_ Bumblebee blooped.

Starscream ignored their conversation and sighed. He needed to get this mission done and the sooner he did, the sooner he could be back in his room with his secret and safe stache. He cast a look over his shoulder and walked off and away from the other two Autobots as they began to argue.

The energon had to be up on this mountain somewhere. He'd visited this place before, but was that was back in the good times. Now everything had changed.

Something purple shone in the woods again. Starscream looked out into the dark trees and swallowed the fear that threatened to consume him. He shakily pointed one of his talons at the shadows and snarled. "You, whoever you are! Just… just frag off, okay?!"

No response. He looked behind him and his optics widened in surprise. He'd wandered farther than he first thought because now Bumblebee and Ratchet were no longer in sight. Starscream continued to glare into the trees at whatever waited for him in the darkness. A part of him wanted to lunge into the bushes and just rip into whatever it was that was there and another part of him wanted to turn and run back to Optimus as fast as he possibly could.

The trees rustled, Starscream braced himself for a fight—

Two drones came out of the trees and their visors brightened at the sight of Starscream. For a single moment Starscream thought they would salute him and greet him the same way they always had, but then he saw something red shimmer down in his reflection in a puddle below. Starscream looked down and saw the glow of his optics make his Autobot badge glint.

One of the drones spoke up. "...Commander?"

The other drone hissed at him. "No! He's our _former_ Commander!"

Their fields grew hard and cold around them. This was the last thing he needed. He should just turn around and leave.

The drone's fields fizzled in anger. They had no faceplates, but Starscream knew that if they did, they would look as angry as Megatron. Their fields fizzled in pain and betrayal and inundated the air with a hot static that made Starscream sick. The drones were angry with him, they were upset with him, _wrathful_ with him, and they were going to make him suffer for the consequences of his actions.

"I did what had to be done!" Starscream shouted.

One of the drones scoffed. "And what was that?! The ultimate betrayal?"

"I had to escape—"

The second drone ignored him and accusingly pointed his digit right at Starscream's Autobot badge. "You escaped your responsibilities! Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"

Those words echoed around and around in his helm.

_"Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

_"Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

_"Do you seriously think that you deserve—"_

Voices echoed through the woods and the sounds of distant car tires echoed through the air.

A light glowed from over his shoulder. Starscream slowly turned around and came faceplate-to-faceplate with Skyfire.

"Oh _slag_ no!" Starscream shrieked as he jumped backwards. The holoform of Skyfire flickered and shimmered until suddenly it wasn't Skyfire in front of him, but Thundercracker, and then Skywarp, and then—

Megatron.

Starscream's breath froze in his vents.

"Hello, my dear Starscream," Megatron said coldly.

"You are not real! I've had enough of this holoform nonsense! Megatron isn't here, he's off being creepy on the deck of the Nemesis a thousand miles under the sea! _Where I put it, by the way!_"

The fake Megatron's optics widened, but then narrowed. "You dare to—?"

Bumblebee and Ratchet drove into view and drove even faster and faster. _"Hold on, Star, just hold on!"_ Bumblebee shouted.

Something hot burned in Starscream's chestplate and urged him to keep going. "Yes! I do dare to! I d-don't regret leaving your side, I belong with the Autobots!"

Starscream's spark spun faster in its chamber and he continued to resolutely stare at the ghostly frame before him. He needed to look Megatron in the optic, he needed to stare the warlord down and tell him that he didn't belong in his life anymore.

_"Break the vicious cycle,"_ Optimus's voice echoed through his helm. _"Break the cycle, do not allow your anger to consume you even more—"_

"Oh, you belong with the Autobots now?" Megatron hummed. Bumblebee and Ratchet ran up to Megatron but then skidded to a stop at the sight of the warlord's holoform that towered above all of them.

"Y-yes!" Starscream shook out.

"I just heard the break in your sweet voice, my dear Starscream. You are unsure of your place among the Autobots because deep down you know—"

Megatron's holoform flickered and became transparent for a split moment. For that single second Starscream was able to see through the holoform and see the drones on the side slowly and quietly shuffle towards him with their blasters extended. The holoform became opaque again and Starscream found himself faceplate-to-faceplate with Megatron.

"—because deep down you know that _you don't belong with them_."

He wanted to be able to look the warlord in the optic and tell him to frag off.

But the terror was just too great.

Starscream's resolve vanished and he ran away from Megatron. His cold laughter followed after him and he vanished in a shimmery haze. Starscream leaned heavily against a tree and slid to the ground as his spark pulsed in his chestplates. The leaves behind him crunched and he looked over his dirtied shoulder and saw the two drones from earlier right behind him, their blasters extended, ready to do him harm—

Starscream flexed his talons and tensed up. Bumblebee transformed arms into blasters and pointed them at the drones. Bumblebee's optics widened and he desperately reached his other arm out towards Starscream.

_"Star, no!"_

The drones were angry with Starscream, they were upset with him, wrathful with him, they were going to make him suffer for the consequences of his actions—

—and he could_ not allow that to happen._

He was willing to slaughter lesser drones because he was scared of what they could do to him, but he just couldn't bring himself to try to attack the image of Megeatron, the bot who could do the most terrible things to him of all.

_Hurt them before they hurt you,_ a voice whispered in his helm.

Starscream jumped into the air and the drones watched as he fell down upon them. His pedes slammed down into the ground, a cloud of dust went into the air, he draw his talon back and it glinted in the red light of the visor of the first drone he would kill—

A pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him away from the frightened drones. For a split second relief poured through him and he thought it was Optimus, but then he heard an angry growl from behind him.

"Slag it, you pesky Seeker!" Ratchet growled as he wrapped his arms around Starscream's midsection and pulled him away from the drones. "What is wrong with you?!"

_Hurt them before they hurt you,_ a cold voice that sounded like Megatron's voice and his own voice mixed together whispered to him._ Hurt them before they hurt you—_

"Was that the real him? Was it?!" Starscream shook out as he pointed at the air where Megatron had just been.

"Hep hep hep, calm down!" Ratchet shouted.

Starscream stumbled backward and he and Ratchet both fell to the ground. The drone's fields flared with fear and they transformed and peeled away at full speed. Starscream, Ratchet, and Bumblebee all sat there and watched the drones drive off away into the trees.

Starscream offlined his optics, took a deep vent, and waited for the rant he knew would come.

Ratchet sputtered. "What in the world was that? No, really, _what—_?"

_"Calm down, calm down!"_ Bumblebee beeped desperately.

"What? Calm down? After he nearly lost it and killed a bunch of drones?!"

Starscream extracted himself from Ratchet's arms and sat against a rock. He pointed a talon at the medic's angry faceplate. "Oh, you know what? Calm your cogs! You Autobots just _loveeee_ to kill drones left and right, but oh, when _I_ try to kill them, I'm the bad guy?"

"Yes, when we are on a _stealth mission_—"

Bumblebee let out a single shrill beep that echoed through the clearing. The two of them fell silent and looked at Bumblebee with wide optics.

_"Ratchet, leave."_

Ratchet shook his helm. "Oh no, I'm not leaving you alone with him! He just went crazy and tried to kill two drones because he was too cowardly to face them down and actually deal with the consequences of betraying his own soldiers! I'm not leaving you!"

_"No, you are going to do just that. You need to leave him alone! Ratchet…"_ Bumblebee pleaded. The two of them stared at each other for several seconds in silence.

Ratchet glanced over at Starscream and his optics widened when he saw Starscream's faceplate. "Oh _slag,_ I do not want any part of this." His faceplate softened and he sighed. "I'm not good with the mental stuff, Bumblebee. I can't help him with… whatever all this is. I just… he's your Seeker and your problem. If he bangs himself up, well, that _is_ my problem, but there are some injuries that _you_ need to help him heal, Bumblebee." Ratchet stomped off into the woods and cast a single glance back over his shoulder as he vanished into the trees.

Starscream tried to rise to his pedes, but then Bumblebee's servo shot out and landed on his shoulder. For a single moment he expected to see Megatron's servo clamped down on his pauldron, but when he looked up, all he saw was the scout and his slagging blue optics and their slagging sad gaze—

_"You're scared,"_ Bumblebee trilled softly. Not a question, but a statement. How dare this bot have the gall to think that he understood what was going on in his helm?

"Oh, and what makes you think that, scout?" he hissed.

_"Because you're crying."_

Starscream blinked. He lifted his talon up and brushed it across his faceplate.

It came away wet.

"Oh, _slag!_" Starscream swore. He wiped both of his talons down his faceplate and held his helm in his talons as he sat there against the rock. He could still feel Bumblebee's warm servo on his shoulder and could still feel his sad gaze upon him.

"Stop doing that," Starscream sighed.

_"Stop doing what?"_

"Stop being… you!" Starscream shouted.

Bumblebee cocked his helm. _"Do you want me to stop being kind? Do… do you want me to start being someone else?"_

Starscream rolled his optics. "That is not what I meant! Stop being so nice!" Every act of kindness and every look of concern made his tank roil. Every single kind word said to him for thousands of years had just been a lie to manipulate him and control him. Megatron had taught him many terrible and false things, but that lesson always remained true. Starscream knew Bumblebee was not trying to manipulate him, no, but there was still something about the way he was so kind to him that made something within Starscream scream_ false, false, his kindness is a lie—_

Starscream tried to rise to his pedes again, but then Bumblebee just gently pushed him back down. He swatted at Bumblebee's servo. "Let me stand up!"

_"Not until I know you won't do something you'll regret later."_

Starscream rolled his optics and stared up at Bumblebee. He opened his intake to say a barb, something, sharp, something cruel, and then paused. Maybe it was the lingering fear in his spark chamber, or the way the air shimmered, or the way Bumblebee looked at him with those big blue optics—but something made him fall silent.

Bumblebee sighed. _"Megatron is not here."_

"Yes, he _is!_" Starscream shook out.

Bumblebee went down to a knee and looked at Starscream. _"Where?"_

"Well, not here in the woods with us, but…" Starscream trailed off and bit his lip as he tried to find the right words. He lifted his arm and placed his talon on top of his helm. "He's_ here._ Haunting me, as you already know. What is the point of this conversation again?"

_"Y'know, you don't always have to kill your enemies…"_

"Hmpf? And why not?"

Bumblebee sighed again. _"You can't just kill bots left and right because you're afraid they will judge you."_

Starscream sputtered. "That is _not_ what—"

_"Because then the bots who are still alive will just judge you even more."_

Starscream fell silent and the two of them looked out into the wilderness. Headbeams swept through the air as the rest of the Autobots drove up to them. Their tires kicked up a large cloud of dust that blossomed into the air. For so many years the sight of that kicked up dust and the rumble of those tires had shot terror into his spark. Now they just made him feel unworthy. Too unworthy to even be able to take part in this team anymore. He still wanted to be an Autobot, yes, but to be an Autobot in the shadows who couldn't accidentally hurt somebody.

"Primus, you're_ far_ too sweet and sentimental for your own good," Starscream groaned as he stood up and stretched his limbs.

Bumblebee's field flared in surprise. _"You consider my words 'sweet'? I thought my ominous warning to not kill bots would be anything but sweet!"_

Starscream laughed as the Autobots drove up around them. "Bumblebee, my dear, if you think your little warning was seriously scary, think again. I have heard much more intimidating warnings from much more intimidating bots."

Megatron's voice echoed through his helm. _"Stop relying on praise or you will suffer for it—"_

Starscream looked away from the scout and ignored the way Bumblebee sadly stared at him. He just wasn't strong enough to look at Bumblebee's or even the fake Megatron's optics. Maybe one day he would be strong enough. Maybe.

Optimus transformed back into root-mode and walked up to Starscream. He kept his talon clamped tight over his intake in order to prevent himself from spilling his feelings out again. But it seemed that Optimus already knew what he was feeling. He wrapped his arms around Starscream and held the Seeker as he began to shake. Coolant poured down his faceplate and he sobbed. Starscream had no clue what he had done to deserve this mercy.

Kindness indeed.

* * *

_Hello! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. I wasn't able to update for a while due to my pesky schoolwork. Those pesky cones and their surface areas got in the way. I didn't have the covid, I just had the cone-vid. I hope you guys liked this chapter, it's the gap that bridges the "T.M.I." episode arc and the "Stronger, Faster" arc._

_I have been informed that there is a spammer on Tumblr who keeps anonymously spamming people's inboxes telling them to read this story. I have no idea who this spammer is, but I hope that they are reading this. I am very honored that you like my story that much, but I would really appreciate it if you refrain from spamming people on Tumblr. Some people requested that I make a Tumblr of my own, so if you want to spam somebody's inbox about this story, please spam the new blog called elindae-writes! It's under my A03 username._

_I am also absolutely overjoyed to mention that we need to call up the Louvre because there are two gorgeous new pieces of art that must be hung up there immediately! I received two pieces of fanart, one by Losineko and another by Imababblekat, both of which are on Tumblr. Unfortunately, won't allow me to post the links directly to them, but I reblogged them!_

_Thank you for reading this and thank you for your patience!_


	19. Unworthy

"_I hate this," Starscream grumbled as he walked up the steep hillside._

"_Would you rather have me throw you up to the top?" Megatron snarled over his shoulder. A cold wind blew out of the starry sky. Starscream looked up and cringed when he saw Megatron up on the hillside above him._

"_That would be unnecessary, Master," he said. There was something different about Megatron today. His field stormed around him like a hurricane as usual, but now there was a new hint of malice within his field. He hungrily gazed down at whatever was on the other side of the hill as feelings of revenge and vindictiveness flashed through his field._

_He'd never seen Megatron quite like this before. Everything was happening way too fast. The uprising should have been over and the Council should already have been overthrown. Vos should already be reclaimed._

_But there was a cold sensation in Starscream's tanks that told him that all of this was only the beginning._

_Starscream's vents heaved as he finished his trek up the hill and stood beside his new Master. No, it seemed he would have to obey Megatron for just a little while longer. But not too long! He would escape, he knew he would. Everything would be fine. He'd serve his cruel new leader for as long as needed and then fly back to Vos beside his trinemates. _

_He'd be a hero._

_Starscream readjusted his optics and looked down over the side of the hill at whatever sight that had enraptured his leader. A mining town was at the bottom of the large crater and glowed warmly in the night._

"_Why are we here?" Starscream said._

"_Fool, do you still not see?" Megatron growled. He gripped onto Starscream's helm and forced the Seeker to look down at the town and take a closer look._

_Everywhere he looked he saw the bright blue glow of energon. Energon crystals were in the walls of the craters, in the roads, in piles, and made the air itself shimmer blue._

"_It's… a mining city?" _

"_The bots of this city have grown rich and fat off of their own bounty and refuse to share it with our upright and noble cause. Those who spoil themselves on luxuries will have their frames left to spoil by the roadside. I gave them a chance to submit to my will and to hand over their fuel source…"_

_A sinking feeling of dread settled within Starscream's spark. A hungry gleam had entered Megatron's optics and it was a gleam Starscream was very familiar with. It was the same look Megatron had had when he first found Starscream in the ashes of Vos and it was now the same look he had as he gazed down upon yet another doomed city._

"_And just like Vos…" Megatron clenched his talon into a fist, "this city will also be reduced to nothingness." _

_Starscream gasped and shock blared in his field, but somehow, deep down, he knew this day would come. He had just hoped it wouldn't come so soon. "But… they're just civilians, Master!"_

"_And we are warriors!"_

"_Rethink this, please! They're bots just like you and me!"_

"_We all come from dust. Some are destined to return to it sooner than others."_

_The air rumbled and a bright red light came to life on the opposite side of the city on the far rim of the crater. Another bright red light lit upon the rim lit up, and then another, and then another. Starscream squinted at the red lights all along the rim of the crater._

_The red lights all turned as one and pointed down at the city. A cold chill went through Starscream's veins. He was intimately familiar with those weapons and even had plans to build one for Megatron himself. _

_Megatron smiled as each of the cannons around the rim lit up blood-red and shone like a ring of red suns in the night. They all hummed as they charged up and prepared to fire upon the city._

"_What purpose could this possibly serve?!" Starscream shrieked. He'd killed so many bots for Megatron already, but those bots were soldiers! There was no way he could allow his new Master to take innocent lives._

_He stepped in front of Megatron, the warlord's optics flared red with rage—_

—_and a sharp slice of pain suddenly blazed through Starscream's abdomen. He looked down and watched droplets of energon leak out of a long and thin slash across his frame. Megatron stood in front of him with his sword outstretched. A droplet Starscream's energon dripped from the tip of it._

"_Do you know what the purpose of beating you is?" Megatron said softly as if he hadn't just mutilated somebody._

_Starscream held his talons to his bloodied abdomen and his frame began to shake as the sheer shock of it all inundated his systems. "I… I…"_

_Megatron leaned in close. "I sliced you with my sword to remind you that I will run my sword through you if you choose to obstruct me yet again."_

_Starscream bit his lip and scuttled out of the way as he held an arm around his bloodied abdomen. Megatron smiled at the display of subservience and returned his attention to the city. He spread his arms out wide into the air in the exact same way he used to when he made passionate speeches to rally bots to his side. Except the audience was no longer a group of bots who wished to join him—the audience was now made up of bots who wished to escape from him._

"_I gave them chance after chance to yield, yet they rejected each one. They think they can withstand me, so I must stand up and show them my full might!"_

"_Their energon… it's right under us, isn't it? A whole mine of it?"_

"_And I will rip open the scalp of Cybertron to access it!"_

"_This isn't right—!"_

_Megatron lashed out with his talon and smacked Starscream. The Seeker tumbled down the crater and slid down the steep rocky embankment down towards the city below. A shower of pebbles tumbled down with him and Starscream desperately dug his talons into the smooth and loose gravel in an attempt to slow his fall._

_He slammed down onto a large boulder and saw sparks fly in his vision. Starscream rolled off the boulder with a groan and curled up behind it as his entire frame bloomed with pain. _

_The sound of distant shouts echoed through the air. A rumble traveled through the ground and reverberated through Starscream's sore frame._

_He froze in terror. It was Megatron on his way to him, it had to be, he must have descended from the crater rim and now he was going to make Starscream pay for his disobedience, he'd take his energon away and he's starve—_

_The cannon nearest to Starscream exploded in a shower of sparks and shrapnel. Starscream looked down at the city and expected to see a bright red plasma bolt on its way to destroy the city down below._

_But the air was empty and there wasn't a single bolt to be seen. He blinked and looked up at the cannon and gasped. The cannon itself had exploded and was now nothing but a flaming heap of twisted metal._

_More cannons across the rim of the crater exploded. He saw bright blue plasma bolts shoot out from someplace behind him and slam into each cannon. Starscream covered his helm with his talons and held still in terror as the sound of more explosions boomed out across the entire crater. Any moment now Megatron would descend and make Starscream the full subject of his wrath, any moment now—_

_Starscream peered through a crack in his talons and his optics widened. The ground rumbled as an alt-mode swiftly drove past and kicked up an enormous cloud of dirt that obscured everything. Starscream coughed and waved the dust away as he shakily rose to his pedes. A blue bolt shot past him and Starscream turned around just in time to see another cannon beside him explode in a flurry of fire and smoke. Megatorn let out a guttural roar off in the distance that echoed through the entire crater._

_A volley of blaster bolts shot out from the gloom, one after the other, and each one collided with a cannon. Starscream watched in silent awe as each cannon exploded into shrapnel. Where there had once been an ominous ring of hot red cannon barrels that were prepared to deliver death there were now only the ashen husks of machinery_

_The air whipped past Starsctarsream's frame as the unknown Autobot—it was an Autbot, it had to be, because who else could be so bold?—rapidly drove past him and sent another flurry of dust into the air. Megatron's fusion cannon flashed violet as he fired off shot after shot into the thick cloud of smoke, but every shot missed its hidden target._

_The smoke cleared slightly and for a single moment Starscream saw a pair of the bluest optics he had ever seen shine through the cloud of dust. He couldn't see the Autobot, but he could still feel his enormous presence and the sheer weight of his massive EM field as it blazed with determination._

"_Fool!" Megatron called down to the Autobot below. He stood up tall upon the rim of the crater and pointed talon right at the town below. "You think that you have managed to save the sparks of these measly energon-hoarders? I shall call in my air force and they will descend in thunder and fire and decimate this city down to its utter foundation!"_

_Megatron's voice echoed through the crater and made Starscream cringe. The unknown Autobot had no reaction, though. Starscream rubbed at his optics in an attempt to get the dust caught within them to clear away, but all he managed to do was blur his vision even more. He looked up and jolted as he realized that the Autobot stood up on the hill right above him—and had no idea that Starscream was hidden beneath him by a boulder._

"_Look!" Starscream shouted over the comms. His vision was a wreck but the smoke cleared enough for him to see a flurry of movement down in the crater below. Megatron growled and his optics widened. The civilians of the city fled away in a stream of alt-modes and the rumble of hundreds of pairs of tires filled the air as they fled._

_Starscream's helm swam and he blinked dirt out of his optics as he blearily looked up at the Autobot. Dust swirled in the air in thick clouds and all he could see up above him was the unknown Autobot tall upon the hill. His bright blue optics pierced the gloom of the dirt as he looked down at the city he had just saved._

_For a single moment Starscream wanted what he had. He wanted to be able to look down at a city he had saved and be a part of a legacy he was worthy of. Is that what being a hero felt like? Starscream had forgotten the definition of what was truly a hero a long time ago. He'd once thought Megatron to be a hero, he had once even thought of _himself _as a hero, but now he wasn't so sure anymore._

_An ugly emotion suddenly reared up within his field, so thick and so powerful that Starscream gagged. He knew jealousy well. A part of him knew that it was wrong to look up to the enemy, to look at them and wonder what it was like to be as strong as them—_

_But he couldn't help it. _

_Starscream gasped and cringed behind his boulder. He had just been fantasizing about the enemy, about _becoming _an Autobot—_

_His comm came to life and the deep and raspy breaths of Megatron crackled through it and into Starscream's audials._

"_Ha! The heroic fool has no clue who lurks behind him and beneath him. Shoot him, Starscream, carve out his spark with a bolt of plasma and give it to me as a gift. I do not know who he is, I just know that he must... not... _live_."_

_He could still crawl away, he could still just take off and run away from the Autobot, he still had a chance to end this all. His comm crackled to life again._

"_I was placed upon Cybertron to rage against the injustice of our world… and so were you. You were placed upon Cybertron for a _purpose_. If you refuse to fulfill that purpose…"_

_Megatron went silent and said no more. But he had said enough. Starscream's vents came quicker as he looked up at the Autobot that towered above him._

_Was he the bad guy? Was the villain here the bot who saved a city full of civilians, or the Seeker below him with his blaster pointed right at him?_

_He knew the answer to his question. A wave of nausea hit Starscream and for a single moment he thought he'd purge._

_The Autobot continued to look down upon the crater below, completely unaware of the villain in the dirt beneath him. Starscream blinked and wiped at his optics in an effort to prevent coolant from spilling out of them. He wanted to be the hero, not an assassin down in the dirt._

_He wanted many things that he knew he would never get._

"_Starscream," Megatron growled over his comm._

_The faint blue glow of the mining town shone up into the sky and made the air glow blue. The silhouette of the Autobot up above cast a blue shadow down below that completely obscured Starscream. Fear clawed up his throat and he looked up at the tall Autobot's silhouette that stood upon the rocky overlook. Just a few more feet, that was all, and then the enemy would be disposed of. But was he really an enemy?_

_But what would Megatron do if Starscream turned and ran? How would he react if the Seeker up and left and ran away crying from a perfect opportunity to rid the world of one more Autobot, of one more _enemy?

"_If you refuse to fulfill your purpose…" Megatron's voice hissed over the comms. He was far up above, but Starscream felt as if the warlord was right beside him._

_Megatron's blood-red optics leered down at Starscream from atop the crater rim. Starscream felt the warlord's gaze upon him and froze in fear. _

_This shot that he was about to fire at the Autobot would help Megatron grow stronger and continue to be even more cruel… but helping Megatron also meant helping Vos._

_And oh, did he want to help the city that he didn't learn to cherish until far too late. The Autobot turned around and looked down upon Starscream with bright blue optics. _

_His optics widened._

_Maybe one day Starscream would get to be like the Autobot on the hill._

_Starscream took a deep vent, steadied himself, and fired—_

* * *

Optimus and Starcream just sat there in the grass. The rest of the Autobots stood off to the side and glanced back at the two of them every few moments.

Starscream opened his intake to say something to the Prime, but then shut it. He felt like there was nothing he could possibly say that Optimus didn't already know. A part of him wanted to shove the Prime away so that he could be alone, but another and more powerful part of him wanted Optimus to stay there beside him and never leave.

The leaves behind them crunched as somebody walked up to them.

"Optimus…" Ratchet cleared his throat. "I understand that Starscream is… a bit distressed—"

"He is _greatly _distressed, Ratchet," Optimus said as he frowned. He looked at Starscream curled up beside him and sighed heavily.

"But the mission! We need to finish scouting this place and then leave, there's something not right here. We just have one more hill to scout, just one more."

Optimus looked up at the mountain and his field thrashed with indecision. Starscream's optics widened. He'd never seen the Prime so conflicted before. Optimus took a heavy vent and put his servo on Starscream's shoulder.

"I… I will investigate it. Bumblebee, stay with Starscream," Optimus said as he got up. Starscream opened his intake to protest, but then froze. He couldn't afford to be seen as needier than he already was.

Optimus took one last look at Starscream before he then transformed and drove up the mountain road.

That didn't seem right. Normally he would just send Arcee up to scout because she was better at it, but perhaps Prime had his reasons. Starscream wanted Optimus to just stop his little scout mission and to return to him right here and right _now._ The Autobots glanced between each other and tension hung thick in the air. Starscream had not felt this unwelcome since he'd first arrived at the base. Perhaps they were awkward because of his behavior, maybe he shouldn't revert back to his old ways—

No. Starscream shook his helm. He had to distance himself from the Autobots so that he could not get them accidentally hurt again. If acting like his older self was what he had to do in order to open the Autobot's optics, then so be it.

"Oh, this is pointless! We should just get OP and and go back to base!" Bulkhead groaned.

Something rustled in the trees and Starscream looked over his shoulder as a cold wind blew against all their frames. It was just the wind, he knew that, but a deep sense of intuition honed over the course of thousands of years of warfare whispered to Starscream and told him to turn around, to turn around and _see—_

And he saw his enemy.

The faint violet glow of Soundwave's visor shone dimly within the trees. His lithe frame was cast in shadow, but Starscream would know that sharp and slender silhouette anymore. That sharp silhouette had haunted his nightmares for thousands of years and if he lived through this insane war, then for thousands of years to come.

"Look!" Starscream shrieked as he pointed his talon at the dark trees.

The night lit up with the glow of three hot pairs of blaster barrels as the Autobots all transformed their servos and pointed their blasters at the woods. Soundwave's visor flared a deep shade of violet and the air thrummed as he melded back into the dark foliage.

"Come back here!" Starscream snarled. He was tired of Soundwave, tired of the silent mech and his schemes, tired of the way he had picked and prodded around in his own slagging _processor—_

A flurry of blaster bolts shot out of the shadows and the Autobots rapidly fired back at the wave of drones that ran at them from out of the trees. Starscream ducked behind Bulkhead for cover and rolled his optics as the battle raged on around him. "Seriously, this again?"

The night was lit up with bright flashes of hot red and cold blue as the plasma bolts shot across the sky like shooting stars. Starscream looked past the battlefield and squinted at the dark trees. Soundwave had returned and stood back in the shadows. He took a single step forward out of the foliage—

But then froze. He slowly turned his helm and looked up at the mountain road.

"Don't you dare!" Starscream shrieked at him over the sound of the battle.

Soundwave transformed and glided up the mountain road.

"_Starscream!"_ Bumblebee shouted. A stray blaster bolt singed his yellow armor and he practically threw himself at the Seeker. Starscream jolted back in alarm as Bumblebee gripped on tightly to his shoulders and pushed Starscream away from the flurry of the battle.

"_Find Optimus!" _Bumblebee beeped in alarm as a new wave of drones emerged from the trees. "_Get up the road and find him, we can't leave without him!"_

"He went up the road!" Starscream shouted back. He froze.

That was the road that Soundwave had just _gone up to_—

Starscream turned around and ran. Optimus probably had no clue what was going on. The night was dark enough and the wind was loud enough to mask the sounds of any battles. It was just Optimus out there in the cold dark forest alone as he scouted the valley and looked out for his true enemy, completely oblivious to the fact that his true enemy was right behind him.

A blaster bolt singed the tip of Starscream's wing and he shrieked in pain as he ran up the mountain road. Bumblebee watched him with wide blue optics, but then another drone fired at him and then he was drawn back into the battle.

He would have to find the Prime by himself. No help would come.

Starscream ran.

* * *

Starscream burst through the trees and felt the air grow thinner around his helm as he ascended the road. The shrieks and booms of the battle grew quieter and quieter until soon the only sound he could hear was the quiet hiss of the wind.

"Where the slag is a Prime when you need one?" Starscream moaned to himself as he tripped over a loose root.

Something glided through the sky above his helm and blotted out the stars. Starscream looked up and froze at the sight of Soundwave above him.

"You… _you!_" Starscream snarled.

The air buzzed and whoever it was darted off.

Starscream ran to catch up to him, but his pede got tangled on another root and he tripped into the ground again. He pulled his faceplate out of the muck and scanned the woods—

And caught a glimpse of red and blue armor. He shot to his pedes and stumbled forward out of a thicket of trees and onto a bare stretch of rock right ahead of him. The wind rushed out of the mountain valley and blew hard against his frame as he climbed up.

Optimus stood not far ahead of him. His back was turned to Starscream and his faceplate was uplifted to look up at the stars. The stars of Cybertron glittered far above. Starscream opened his intake to call out, but another loose root caught his leg and he fell down into the soft mud yet again. The howl of the wind drowned out the sound of his fall and Optimus continued to obliviously stare out over the valley.

He walked up a steep section of rock that protruded out into the air and that afforded a view of the valley. Optimus stood upon the high rock and looked out over the valley below.

And his field was instantly filled with dread. "Primus," he whispered.

Surely Optimus had seen the battle by now. Starscream pulled himself out of the roots and rose to his pedes as he reached his talon out, ready to call out yet again. "Optimus—"

Optimus stared out over the valley with dread. Starscream could not see whatever it was that caught and held the Prime's attention. He was just too far back into the trees in order to see out over the valley.

Optimus suddenly sat down hard onto the ground as a deep swell of complete and utter _exhaustion _inundated his field. Starscream froze with his intake half-open and watched with wide optics as Optimus let his own exhaustion overcome him.

The wind howled out of the valley, Optimus's field groaned in pain, and Starscream remained perfectly still.

"I don't know how to help him, Elita," Optimus said suddenly. "I have never encountered a mech so utterly broken throughout the entire course of this war. I want to help him, but he is relapsing. I feel as if I have only just touched upon the surface of his pain. You would know what to do."

Optimus dragged his servos down his faceplate. Starscream had never seen anything like this, _ever. _Optimus Prime had always been this high and lofty figure to him—not a sad and tired mech who just needed to sit down. Yet that was exactly what Optimus was in that moment. Not a grand leader who made rousing speeches, not a great warrior; no, just a very tired mech.

Starscream suddenly got the sense that he had just intruded upon something private and holy. This was a side of Optimus Prime that nobody had seen for millennia, and if the Prime had his way, then this was a side of him that nobody would ever see ever again for millennia more.

A part of Starscream wanted him to just leave Optimus alone under the stars to dwell in his grief, but then the memory of Bumblebee's desperate words returned to him.

"_Find Optimus! Find Optimus!"_

Starscream took a deep vent, emerged from the trees, and ran up the rock face. "Get back down into the valley! The Decepticons are attacking!"

As he ran up the rocks he ascended in elevation and his view of the valley below was improved. Starscream looked out across the land and the sight took his breath away. A vast human city sprawled out below, tucked between two mountains and hidden there in the night.

Optimus's helm snapped around and he shot to his pedes as his field blared with shock. He stared at Starscream with wide optics.

Starscream sputtered. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude…"

"There is a battle?" Optimus said.

Starscream nodded stiffly.

Optimus took a deep breath and smoothed his field. The exhaustion vanished and a sense of determination replaced it. "The Decepticons are being far too bold. They are almost never active this close to human settlements," Optimus walked down the rock face as Starscream followed. "I fear for the safety of the humans, for the safety of my team in the scenario that the humans discover us… and I fear for you. This mission was never intended to be a battle. You are not yet meant for battle. Which is why you will stay here until I return."

Starscream's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"Stay and I will return."

"No, no no no, you're too tired, let me help!"

Starscream's words died in his intake and his wing fell. He shouldn't have said that, he shouldn't have acknowledged the act of weakness he saw earlier, he shouldn't have, he shouldn't have—

Optimus froze and then looked back over his shoulder at the Seeker. "I am tired, yes. But I will fight for the team because it is what I must do. Stay here."

He then transformed and drove down the mountain road in a spray of pebbles and dirt. Starscream watched with wide optics as the Prime drove off into the shadows of the night.

Starscream stood alone on the mountaintop. He wanted to be distanced from the Autobots so that he could not harm them, yes, but not like this! He wasn't some broken and fragile thing you left behind you when you went off somewhere. But that was exactly what he was according to Optimus.

He stared down at the city with horror. When he was in control of the Decepticons he had been very careful to keep their mining operations as far from the pesky fleshies as possible. Now the Decepticons were practically upon the human's doorsteps. What could have possibly driven the Decepticons to do such a thing? Starscream would _never _have let this happen—

"Your days of glory were not nearly as glorious as you think," a voice said.

Starscream's spark froze and his optics widened.

He turned around just in time to see Megatron emerge from the woods.

"No, no, no!" Starscream shrieked. He rapidly looked around for any Autobots, but it was just him and the warlord. A purple shape beside Megatron reflected the moonlight and Soundwave stepped into view.

It was all a trap, Starscream realized with a cold chill. Megatron stared at him expressionlessly, but Starscream knew that the warlord had other ways of showing his anger. His field roiled and thrashed around him and his frame shook with barely contained fury.

Starscream instinctively stepped backward and felt the ground give out under his pedes. He yelped and ran away from the steep edge and towards Megatron.

"Oh, no escape this time, my dear Seeker. Just you, me, the empty sky, and a _very _far drop down. How I would love to break your traitorous spine upon the sharp rocks below… but it would be foolish of me to break you like that when I could just break your spirit instead!" Megatron shouted.

Starscream yelped and scuttled back away from the ridge's edge and the far drop. The sounds of the Autobot's fight with the drones grew louder and louder as they battled in the valley below. He saw a flash of red and blue and saw Optimus run by beneath trees down below him. The Prime looked up and saw Megatron right beside Starscream. Optimus had only a few moments for his optics to widen in horror before another drone flung itself at him and another fight began.

Megatron tightly grabbed onto Starscream's arm and began to lead him down the road. Starscream kicked and thrashed, but all he could manage to do was scratch Megatron's armor. He dragged the Seeker around the bend in the road and Starscream's optics widened at the sheer number of drones down below. The Autobots fought in a flurry of plasma bolts and the cold night air smelled thickly of spilt energon mixed with dirt. Optimus ran towards him and Megatron, but then five drones came out of nowhere and brought the Prime down to his knees. Optimus reached out to Starscream, Starscream reached out to Optimus—

And Megatron then wrenched Starscream away.

"Look," Megatron whispered softly as he tightly grabbed ahold of Starscream's helm and pointed it so that the Seeker would see the city lights far down below. "Look upon my next _target._"

"W-what could hurting the fleshies possibly gain you?!" Starscream grit out as Megatron's grip on his helm tightened.

"I am going to hurt the humans so that I can hurt _you._"

"What?!" Starscream sputtered. "That doesn't even make any sense—"

Megatron laughed as he looked down at the city. He turned around and smiled. "It reminds me of Vos."

Starscream felt a cold chill go through the air, but he wasn't sure if it had come from the wind or from his spark.

"Never speak of Vos ever again! I've had enough of you!" Starscream screamed at him.

Megatron laughed as if everything was just a joke. "You will never have enough of me. It is the way of things."

The weight upon Starscream's spark increased tenfold. One moment he was in the middle of a vast forest—-and then he blinked, and suddenly he was on the bridge of the Nemesis. He shrieked and rubbed at his optics and looked around at the forest again. Megatron loomed over him, his wrath inundated the air, Starscream cowered beneath him—

And Starscream felt like he was right back square one, as if the past few months he'd spent with the Autobots was nothing but a false haze of Primes and ghostly holoforms and kindness and _oh, Starscream. _He rubbed at his optics again and suddenly he was back on the mountaintop.

"Having a memory flux, my dear?" Megatron hummed. "Soundwave told me that that would be a side-effect."

The ground rumbled and Starscream hesitantly walked up to the edge of the cliff and peered over it. As the Autobots battled one group of drones another group came out of the woods. Dozens of them all pointed their blasters at the city below in one swift motion. They were still far enough from it to not be able to cause significant damage, but just a single bolt from a single blaster could still incinerate a human. A whole volley of blaster bolts fired non-stop at the city from high above—

Oh, _Primus._

"You're going to hurt the city?!" Starscream asked. His optics rapidly glanced back and forth between the drones below, the bright city, and the hot red glow of Megatron's amused optics.

"Why would I _not_ hurt the city, hmm?"

Starscream opened his intake to protest and yelped as Megatron suddenly lunged at him. Starscream's words choked in his throat and he looked up at Megatron with wide terrified optics. Megatron smiled. A stray blue blaster bolt zinged through the air and narrowly missed Megatron. He looked over the edge of the cliff and saw Optimus and the Autobots in the valley. Optimus glared up at Megatron and had his blaster extended and pointed right up at the warlord.

"Oh, good," Megatron laughed. "You will be able to watch."

Megatron's field roiled with rage and his talon clenched down hard onto Starscream's shoulder. He lifted the Seeker up into the air and dangled Starscream over the edge of the cliff.

Then he dropped him.

Starscream shrieked as he tumbled down the cliffside past sharp rocks and bushes. Optimus ran forward to catch him, but Starscream fell down on a section of rock halfway that jutted out halfway down the cliff. He coughed and looked around blearily as his disoriented gyros tried to stabilize themselves.

"Ah, how the mighty have _fallen. _Do you feel heroic, Starscream? Do you?" Megatron's voice echoed through the valley. "What happened to the days when you could be confident in yourself and take flight?"

Starscream blinked and waited for his optics to readjust. The warm golden glow of the city and the concerned blue glows of the Autobots all mixed together in a blur of color. Starscream rolled onto his back and coughed out dust as he looked above him. Megatron stood high up near the cliff edge and his two red optics shone light fires in the night far above Starscream.

"Starscream, come down to me," Optimus pleaded. He held his arms out and stood right underneath the rock Starscream was laid out on.

It would be so easy to just roll over and let himself fall into the Prime's arms again.

Soundwave stepped up beside Megatron and his visor flared. He glared at Megatron and the warlord snarled right back at his new second-in-command's visor.

"Do you dare judge to judge me yet again?!"

Soundwave's visor flared. "THROWING STARSCREAM: NOT THE PLAN."

"Star, c'mon!" Bulkhead called from down below. All of the Autobots goaded him on. Optimus looked up at him with wide blue optics and silently mouthed the word _please._

He could just roll down to safety, he could, but everytime he looked over the edge of the rock his helm swam and he saw sparks fizzle out. Starscream looked up at the city and squinted at it. It _did _look like Vos.

And just like Vos, it would be destroyed.

He couldn't allow another city to be decimated. Megatron and Soundwave turned their attention away from him and continued to bicker on the cliff up above.

Starscream shakily rose to his pedes, looked down over the edge of the rock at Optimus's desperate optics—

And then climbed back up the cliff.

Bumblebee beeped in horror as Starscream crawled his way back up to the warlord. He ignored the terror that shot through his spark and slowly and steadily crawled back up the cliff face. He could smell the ashes of Vos in his vents and could still hear the cold wind whistle through Vos's skeletal heat-blasted spires—

"Wretch, this may be your plan, but I am the one in charge of it!" Megatron spat at Soundwave's shattered visor.

Soundwave unflinchingly stared right back. "PLAN WAS: TO DEMORALIZE AND TRICK STARSCREAM. NOT TO FLING HIM."

"Perhaps I should just seize the Seeker for myself right here and right now!"

"PATIENCE, THERE WILL BE PAYOFF IF WE WAIT—"

A new contingent of drones came out of the woods and stood right underneath the cliff. They lunged at the Autobots and another fight began.

"_Quiet!_" Megatron shouted at Soundwave. "I will do as I please and as of right now, I want to blast that city to _cinders._"

Megatron pointed his fusion cannon right at the city and smiled as it hummed to life with a deep hum and a hot purple glow.

"_Be confident in yourself and take flight," _a voice that sounded like a mixture between Megatron and Optimus's said. "_Be confident in yourself—"_

Megatron smiled as his cannon shook with energy.

"—_and take flight."_

Starscream swallowed the terror in his throat, crawled onto a loose boulder, crouched down, and flung himself at the warlord. The boulder underneath his pedes rolled away from under him and tumbled down the cliffside right towards the drones that stood right underneath. Their fields blared pure shock—

And Megatron's optics widened in surprise as the Seeker barrelled into him. Megatron stumbled backwards and his fusion cannon fired right as he began to fall.

The shot went wide and arced off into the night. They both tumbled down the embankment and Starscream rolled away from Megatron. Starscream breathlessly watched the fusion blast as it burned up in the sky and fizzled out in a shower of purple sparks. He slowly looked down and saw that Megatron's optics were right on him. Starscream scrambled backwards through the dirt. At any moment the anger would come, and when the anger came, so would the fists. Megatron opened his intake and Starscream flinched. At any moment he'd go on another one of his angry tirades—

Megatron laughed.

Starscream's spark sank. He looked out over the city.

He should be glad, he should be _proud. _But all Starscream felt within his chestplate was a hollow sense of emptiness. He looked out over the bright city lights home to thousands, perhaps even tens of thousands of people whom he had _just saved—_

And then he saw Bulkhead before him. Not literally, no. The real Bulkhead stood gobsmacked down in the valley with the rest of the Autuobots. No, the Bulkhead mirage Starscream saw before him was the _rotting _Bulkhead who had stared out into space while mindlessly repeating the logs.

He'd just saved so many lives, but that still didn't change the fact that he had endangered one of the lives he cared about the most.

The act of saving the city should have washed away the guilt and should have made him feel proud and happy and like a true Autobot. He looked out over the city he saved—

And he felt… the same.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He thought if he went in and saved lives, he would feel _better _about himself, not worse. And yet there he was, high above the city he saved, mad with grief.

He knew there wasn't going to be any single grand moment in which he went from being Starscream the Bad Bot to Starscream the _Hero. _Optimus had told him this, had told him that that grand moment wouldn't come, that he'd have to work hard to be worthy every single day of his life—

But for just a single moment, Starscream thought he could save the day all at once. He thought he could be like the Autobot on the hill.

"Did you seriously think that I was going to demolish the city with just a puny regiment of pathetic drones? Fool! Still just as caught up in your delusions of grandeur as always, my dear Starscream."

"What?!" Starscream scrambled back. The time of heroism had ended and now he felt like he was a sparkling again. He began to run back down the road and down to Optimus, but then Megatron reached out and gripped his arm. He pulled the Seeker back to him until they were so close that Starscream could smell the stench of the dark energon in Megatron's vents.

Starscream took a deep vent and forced himself to look at the warlord. "You did all of this just so that you could let me win? Why?!"

"Because I know that you are delusioned and that you think can make up for all your crimes by saving some lives—-so I decided to give you your little victory, oh yes, so that you would realize that you are just the same as always, little Star. You're still the same villain you were before. You can have as many little heroic moments as you want—-that still doesn't erase a lifetime of evil. Do you enjoy playing the hero? Do you? What do you feel when you look out over those city lights?"

"I feel proud that I stopped you from destroying them!" Starscream said as his spark twisted within his spark chamber. It was a lie, a thick and heavy lie that hung in the air like a miasma that everybody could smell.

"No! You're still a vicious little creature who cannot stand to be slighted and who gives chase to all he feels unworthy to live—"

"That's not true!" Starscream said as he shook his helm. Out of the corner of his optic he saw Optimus try to slowly climb his way up the rockslide that blocked the road up to the cliff where Megatron and Starscream stood. The rocks underneath Optimus's pedes rolled out from under him and he looked up at Starscream with desperation.

"Is that so? Then look at them with your own optics, look at the frames of the bots you killed, the bots whose lives you ended so that you could save fleshies—_look at them, look—"_

Megatron angrily pointed down at the collapsed rockslide and the frames of the drones pinned under the boulders. Puddles of bright blue energon pooled under their helms and glowed bright in the night.

"I let you win!" Megatron said. "Do you not understand that? Do you seriously think that saving some fleshies will be enough to absolve you of the thousands of years worth of blood that you have spilt?"

"I refuse to allow you to sink your claws into my processor again!"

The Autobots fired on the rocks that blocked the road and Optimus ran forward through the cloud of dust and debris that their blaster bolts kicked up. "Step away from him, Megatron! Starscream, leave him be!" He transformed and drove up the road at full speed.

Megatron completely ignored Optimus's mad dash up the road. "If I truly wanted to eradicate that scumhole of a city off of the face of this wretched world, I would have done so by bringing in my best soldiers! Not some drones! No, my dear Starscream, I wanted the Autobots to see just how _nasty _you truly are when provoked. In your attempt to save lives all you did was take lives!" Megatron said as he pointed at the crushed frames of the drones.

Soundwave leaped out in front of Optimus's grill and shot out his cables. Optimus slammed into him and came to a halt right in the road. He transformed and swung his blade at Soundwave.

Starscream never got to see their fight. Megatron grabbed onto his helm and forced the Seeker to look at him again as he dug the sharp tips of his talons into the sides of Starscream's helm. "But more importantly, I wanted _you _to see how no matter how many lives you save, no matter how many little feats of heroism you pull off, you are still the same bot responsible for what happened to Vos, to Skyfire, to Bulkhead, and to your trine!"

Each name Megatron mentioned made Starscream's energon boil within his veins. He stared up at Megatron with determination, but then his optics widened at the sight of just how _wrong _Megatron looked. His optics were normally never this purple.

He pulled himself free of Megatron's grip. A voice within his helm screamed _attack, attack, attack, _but his pedes still stayed rooted to the ground and he continued to just stare up at Megatron in raw terror. Something violet shone in the corner of his vision and Starscream lunged at the closest target he could attack.

He slashed his talons at Soundwave's midsection and felt something warm and hot spray across his faceplate. They both went down into the dirt in a tangle of limbs. Soundwave's field flared with surprise, but then determination. His cables lashed out and he held Starscream's talons away from him as he leaned in and whispered a single word into Starscream's audial.

"_Diversion."_

Starscream tilted his helm and blinked. "Wha—?"

Megatron grabbed onto Starscream's single scarred wing and ripped him away from his new second-in-command. He pulled the Seeker close to his frame and for a single moment, all Starscream could see was just Megatron and the way he loomed over him, the way his optics shone red, the way his fusion cannon lit up again—

Another blue blaster bolt shot out from below and towards Megatron, and unlike the last one, this one didn't miss. Megatron let go of Starscream and growled in pain as he looked down at the burnt blaster mark on his thigh. Starscream jumped away from Megatron and clambered down the fallen rocks towards Optimus.

Optimus continued to point his blaster right at Megatron. "Begone, Megatron. Your theatrics have no place in Starscream's life anymore."

Megatron watched a wisp of smoke curl up from the singe mark on his leg and let out a guttural laugh. "Do you really feel that different? Do you understand that you can _never _play the role of hero?"

Starscream stared down over the city and felt a wave of defeat wash over him. Maybe Megatron was right and maybe this victory wasn't a victory at all.

Megatron transformed and flew down from his high spot atop the cliff and landed down in the valley below. He ran right towards Starscream and the sound of a fusion cannon hummed to life—

Optimus slammed into Megatron right as he fired a blast from his cannon. Pure instinct took over and Starscream dropped to the ground as the bolt sizzled over his helm. It slammed into a large boulder and sent a spray of dust and debris over everyone. Starscream blinked and shakily rose to his pedes and turned in a circle as he scanned the dust cloud for any sign of any bot at all.

The sounds of Optimus's and Megatron's battle crashed through the night until all Starscream could hear was the ring of swords and the sound of his own frazzled sparkbeat in his audials.

The dust cleared away and the rest of the Autobots became visible. They stared at him with wide optics. Starscream looked down to see what had caught their attention and—_oh._

His talons were drenched in energon. Starscream looked up at the golden glow of the vast city sprawled out before him and then looked down at the blue glow of the blood he'd spilt.

He clenched his talons into fists and took deep vents as his frame began to shake. He thought saving the city would make him feel better, make him feel worthy—

But all it did was make him aware of the fact that nothing he could do in the modern-day could make up for the crimes of his not-so distant past. One rescued city did not make up for a thousand destroyed ones.

"Star…" Bulkhead said as he walked forward. "Every life counts, 'kay? Don't dwell on that fact, buddy, just appreciate the fact that tonight, you saved lives!"

"I…" Starcream's optics widened and he stepped back. "I said that out loud..."

A bright green groundbridge lit up and hovered in the air. Megatron threw Optimus back into a boulder and rose to his full and terrible height. He pointed the tip of his sword right at Starscream's frozen frame.

"Were it not for the genius plan Soundwave and Laserbeak came up with, I would take you for myself right now. No, when all is said and done with… you will _beg _to be allowed to return to my side." Megatron turned around and walked through the bridge.

The bridge vanished and silence reigned. Optimus pulled himself off the ground and Starscream ran over to him. He hooked his talons under one of Optimus's arms and helped the bloodied and dirtied Prime rise back to his pedes.

"I'm sorry," Starscream said. The words just burst out of him. "I was the target and then—"

Optimus touched his forehelm to Starscream's. "You are no target. Not anymore."

Starscream offlined his optics and let out a high-pitched keen.

"You did well tonight. _Very _well," Optimus said as he looked out over the city below. "Were it not for your heroic actions then that city would be in grave peril right now."

Starscream looked up at the human city and then looked down at the dozen drones laid out dead on the rocks in front of him.

So many lives saved and yet so many lives lost all on a single night.

"I suppose I did alright," Starscream grumbled. He'd always wanted to be the hero, to be the Seeker who could swoop in and save the day. But did he save those humans because he felt that they deserved to live, or did he just selfishly save them because he felt that he deserved to be praised for saving them?

"You saved them because you cared," Optimus said softly.

"Frag!" Starscream swore as he stepped back. "I just can't keep anything in my helm anymore, now can I?!"

Something purple shone in the trees. Starscream's helm shot around and he narrowed his optics at the dense and dark foliage. The leaves rustled, the air buzzed—

Optimus placed his servo on the Seeker's shoulder. "Starscream… _no_. Let him go!"

There he was. The mech who'd caused him so much pain and suffering. The mech who'd made the mirages of his dead brothers and best friend taunt him, the mech who chased after him so many times, the mech who _invaded his processor_—

"I can't let him go, you know I can't!" Starscream snarled. He turned and ran into the woods.

"_Starscream!" _Optimus shouted after him. He began to run after him, but Starscream was faster than the Prime and Soundwave was faster than them all.

"_You are just the same as always, little Star," _Megatron's voice echoed around and around in his helm as he ran and ran. "_You're still the same villain you were before—"_

Soundwave gently glided through the trees as Starscream smashed right into them. The glow of the city grew dim and distant until soon the only light came from the violet glow of Soundwave's cracked visor as he drifted through the woods.

A voice within him that sounded suspiciously like Optimus told him to _stop, think, stop, you're doing exactly what Megatron said you would—_

Soundwave froze up ahead and kept his back turned to Starscream.

Optimus's voice echoed through Starscream's helm. "_It is up to you what kind of mech you want to be."_

Starscream grit his dentae and tried to control his vents as they rapidly cycled air in and out. He could attack, yes, but Optimus wouldn't want him to fight in the condition that Starscream was in. Soundwave was so close, Optimus wouldn't want him to engage in a fight alone, Soundwave was stronger than him, he should just turn around and go back and—

Soundwave slowly turned around. His visor lit up hot violet and he played a recording of Skyfire's voice.

"_Oh, Starscream…"_

Starscream saw red and the energon in his lines boiled with rage. He lunged.

One moment he was crouched down in the dark wet foliage and in the next moment he was in the air with his claws extended and headed right towards Soundwave.

He crashed right into him and the two mechs tumbled through the mud and trees. Soundwave's back slammed into the ground, but the impact hardly seemed to faze him.

"ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON."

Starscream blinked and looked down. He had his talon raised into the air and ready to come down at Soundwave laid out beneath him.

_There was a cocky red mech in front of him and Starscream raised his talon, ready to stab him through the chestplate—_

Starscream hissed and withdrew his talon as he stumbled away. Soundwave silently watched him shuffle away and showed no outward reaction. For a single moment, though, Soundwave's field flared and radiated a sense of pure victory.

Starscream pointed his talon at Soundwave and ignored the way it shook. "Do not think for a moment that I—!"

"THAT YOU ARE STILL THE SAME? ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON," Soundwave said coldly. His voice sounded perfectly flat, yet Starscream could still detect a hint of mockery there within the words.

"I have changed!"

"HAVE YOU THOUGH?"

Starscream scowled and began to walk away. "I'm going to leave your aft behind to rot here, do you understand? It's the _least _that you deserve!"

"IT IS WHAT _YOU_ DESERVE. _You're still a vicious little creature who cannot stand to be slighted and who gives chase to all he feels unworthy to live—_"

Starscream grit his dentae and continued to walk away. The bright violet glow of Soundwave's visor shone behind him and lit the dark forest path ahead of his dirty pedes.

"Go away," he hissed. He didn't need to hear Soundwave to know that he was being followed by him. He needed the mech to just leave and meld back into the creepy shadows he always jumped out of. Starscream was scared, that was all. That was the only reason he wanted Soundwave to leave him alone—he was just frightened of the Decepticon, that was all.

But there was another part of him that knew that the mere sight of that blank and cracked visor would be enough to make something within him _snap._ Starscream's ensuing rage could be violent enough to erase the months of redemption Optimus had helped him through.

He pushed back a tree and ignored the cold draft he felt flurry through the air as Soundwave silently glided after him.

Optimus. Optimus. He just needed to get back to Prime and then everything would be fine. As long as he didn't turn around and look at Soundwave's visor, as long as he just made it to the Prime, then all of his murderous urges would just vanish. He was no longer a Decepticon.

"ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON."

"ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON," Soundwave intoned. His voice echoed through the tall trees as he followed after Starscream.

"No, not always," Starscream said as he began to walk faster and faster. Soundwave wasn't going to hurt him _physically, _no, but _mentally—_

Starscream stumbled to a stop and looked out over a large cliff. Soundwave moved up behind him and together the two of them looked out over the vast forest below.

"YOU CAN COME BACK," Soundwave said slowly.

"You're a fool if you think I would ever willingly deliver myself back to _him_." Starscream tried to activate his comms again, but received only the hiss of static in return.

"YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED AT ALL. ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON. YOU ARE STILL JUST AS VIOLENT AS YOU WERE BEFORE AND IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME—"

"Before they realize that?!" Starscream shouted as he whirled around. His talon instinctively slashed out and he left three long claw marks on Soundwave's chestplate. The sound of his shout echoed through the woods and made birds flee from their trees at the sheer volume of it.

Starscream laughed bitterly. "Hah! The last time we met you said that your next mission wouldn't be a failure. And yet here you are! You've just _failed!_"

Starscream stood there and breathed heavily as he thought of a thousand scathing insults to say—

Soundwave reached up and gently grabbed Starscream's wrist.

"MISSION: NOT FAILURE. MISSION: _SUCCESS._"

Soundwave looked down at Starscream's talon.

His talon still rested right on top of Soundwave's chestplate.

Right on top of the same spot where he had run Cliffjumper through with his talons.

"JUST AS VIOLENT AS ALWAYS. ONCE A DECEPTICON, ALWAYS A DECEPTICON," Soundwave whispered. He turned around and silently walked back into the woods.

Starscream's jaw dropped. "No! No, slag it, you, _you,_ you don't get to just walk into my life, mess it up, and then walk right out of it again!"

"OH, STARSCREAM," Soundwave's voice echoed as he drifted back into the dark shadows of the woods. His frame flared violet, he stepped into the shadows, and then he was gone.

Starscream stood at the edge of the cliff and just stared into the woods.

He stared.

And stared.

And just stared.

The trees rustled.

He was a fool to think that he could be as heroic as that Autuobot on the hill.

He wanted to never see Soundwave again, but he also simultaneously wanted Soundwave to return so that he could punch his visor in. Starscream never wanted to see that ugly hidden Decepticon side of _himself _hidden away deep within him rise ever again—

And yet, just tonight, he saw the ugly side of himself again. He nearly became his old self again.

Bumblebee emerged from the trees with his servos held out placatingly. "_Star—"_

"Oh, have you come to wrangle me back under control?" Starscream grit out.

Bumblebee rapidly shook his helm and beeped sadly. "_No, Star, we're just—"_

"Just now realizing that I am still the same as before?"

Bumblebee went silent and walked up to Starscream. The two of them stared out at a distant mountain.

"_Do you see that mountain?"_

Starscream snorted. "I am many things, but I am not blind!"

Bumblebee shook his helm. "_No, but do you see it? Imagine trying to walk to it. It's a very distant goal and a very hard one to reach."_

Starscream sighed and began to walk away. "Ooh, what is this, another feel-good Autobot metaphor?"

"_Don't be like this!" _Bumblebee sighed as he grabbed onto Starscream's arm and pulled the Seeker back to him. "_The top of it is the goal. Do you see the road leading up to the mountain? To the goal?"_

Starscream squinted at the distant switchback road that looped its way up to the shadowy peak. He rolled his optics. "Yes, scout, I see your road. What of it?"

Bumblebee pointed his servo at it and traced its path with his digit_. "See? In order to reach your goal, you have to go up that road. But it's hard… especially cause there are a lot of switchbacks. So when you try to reach your goal… sometimes, you end up going backwards a bit. But that's okay as long as you stay on the road and keep going up."_

Starscream stared at the distant mountain road. "Are you trying to imply that my life is like a puny little fleshie asphalt road desperately trying to wind its way up to a pointy goal?"

Bumblebee blinked at him. "_Well, that's one way to think of it. But it's true! All of this—this paranoia, this Decepticon-like behavior, this fear that you're unworthy to be a 'Bot—it's just a switchback! And soon, you'll be able to go back up again. Soon. But what matters the most..."_

"Is that I stay on the road," Starscream sighed. A cloud drifted in and covered the mountain. Soon it was just a faint gray silhouette and then soon it vanished all together.

Starscream wiped his servo down his faceplate as his age hit him all at once. He wasn't that old, not really, but he'd spent the majority of his life with Megatron. Even a single year beside Megatron felt like a thousand lifetimes.

"Bumblebee… some roads are not worth staying on," Starscream said. He turned around and saw the rest of the Autobots in the treeline. Optimus's blue optics shone the brightest and pierced through the gloom. Starscream froze as if he were under two bright blue spotlights.

Optimus sighed as he walked up beside Starscream. "We need to return to base."

Starscream bit his glossa and nodded.

"Er," Bulkhead said awkwardly. "We'll give you two some space…"

The rest of the Autobots glanced at each other right before they then transformed and drove off in a cloud of dust. Optimus's bright blue optics shone through the dust cloud and grew brighter and brighter as he approached.

He reached out his servo. "Starscream—"

Starscream stepped right past the Prime's servo and walked past him. He had a mission to complete—even if he was so unworthy he shouldn't be on that mission in the first place. He bit his lip and ignored the way Optimus's field thrummed with disappointment behind him. They were scouting for energon, right? Right. All Starscream had to do was pretend nothing had happened and he would be just fine.

"Starscream," he said.

He ignored the Prime and continued to walk forward. The air grew colder around him and shifted.

"The drones are up to something," Starscream said coldly as he continued to ignore Optimus behind him. The air only moved like that when heavy machinery was being moved around. "What the slag are the drones up to _now?_" he sighed.

The ground shook as Optimus walked after him. "You need to slow down, we need to talk—"

Starscream continued to resolutely stare forward and continued to march on. "We need to finish this mission!"

"We need to discuss what just happened."

"You can discuss the mission with the Autobots after we complete it!" Starscream snapped as he continued to refuse to look at the Prime. Optimus stepped up behind him and his enormous shadow cast the Seeker in darkness.

"I was merely fighting back, okay? I'm fine, really, I am."

"Starscream."

"You don't need to hover over me like a helicopter! That's Airachnid's thing!"

"Starscream, _Starscream—_"

"Oh no, you stop that nonsense!" Starscream shouted as he pointed a talon accusingly at Optimus. "You're gonna do that thing where you sit me down and we get all sad and emotional. I can assure you, Prime, that I lost patience for our little chats a long time ago."

"Yet you still listen to what I have to say. You could get up and leave if you so desire," Optimus said. He looked off into the distance back down where the Autobots stood off in the valley below.

The Prime was right. Starscream could just leave Optimus behind there and stomp off to the rest of the Autobots—

Except they no longer looked at him the same way they used to. He was used to seeing revulsion in their optics, but now he saw… something else. Not quite revulsion, not quite true acceptance, but…

Gratitude.

Starscream looked back down the hill at the Autobots below.

"_Surely you understand that there is no such thing as honest praise, do you?" _Megatron's voice said.

One second he saw the Autobots there, and then one second later Starscream blinked and—

_There was a dead Autobot on the ground in the rubble, there was a dead Autobot on the ground, and he turned his helm and began to speak. "You don't d-deserve—"_

Optimus placed his servos upon Starscream's shoulder and made the Seeker look at him. "They are grateful. Not angry, but _grateful_."

And it was terrible. Prime didn't understand, _couldn't _understand, just why that was the problem. How do you tell somebody that you feel that every scrap of gratitude you receive is nothing but a cold lie?

Megatron's laughter clanged through his helm. "_If he praised you and felt gratitude for you, it is because he wanted something from you."_

Starscream took a deep vent. "Slag this all, I want to finish the mission, but… I also just want to go home to base."

Optimus smiled. "So you do consider the base to be your home."

Starscream's optics widened. "Wha—? No, no no no, I mean… okay, fine! Maybe I do like your scroungy little Autobot living conditions. Maybe."

"We helped the base become your new home because we understood that you had what it took to become worthy of the Autobot legacy."

Starscream remained silent.

Optimus sighed and pointed at the Autobot badge on Starscream's chestplate. "That was not put there by mistake. We put that there out of gratitude for saving Bulkhead."

Gratitude.

_Gratitude._

Starscream's optics twitched.

"Our gratitude is real, Starscream. It is not a ruse meant to build your trust so that we can tear it down later. It is what it truly is."

"—_if he praised you and felt gratitude for you, it is because he wanted something from you—"_

Starscream froze and offlined his optics. He let his field flare out and brush the edges of Optimus's. For a single second, their fields made contact and Starcream sensed pure appreciation in the Prime's field.

So he wasn't being paranoid, then.

No, the gratitude was real, very real.

And that was _precisely_ the problem.

He didn't deserve it.

The Autobot base was a home, but it was the home of a legacy he was unworthy to be a part of.

"You are almost an Autobot now," Optimus said softly.

Starscream bit his lip and sighed.

He was too soft and rounded to be a Decepticon, but too hard-edged to be an Autobot; no, he was something in between, belonging to neither one world or the other. He would never fit in.

Maybe it was time that he accepted that.

"Maybe I am. Maybe. But maybe I am...not." He got up and walked away and tried to ignore the way Optimus's field thrummed with disappointment. Starscream could handle the disappointment at least.

"Let's just go back to base," Starscream sighed as he awkwardly kicked at the rubble with his pede. Optimus walked up beside him and looked up to the stars.

"One day you will understand that there is no reason to grieve for receiving gratitude. And I will be beside you to ensure that that day will come."

Starscream rubbed his talons down his faceplate. "Enough! Come on, let's just…" He trailed off and looked into the distance.

He still remembered the Autobot on the hill and the way he stood over the town that he had just saved.

"Who was he?" Starscream asked softly. He clamped his talon down over his intake, but the damage was done. The question was already out in the air and had already piqued the Prime's interest.

"Who?"

Starscream bit his lip. He did not know the identity of that Autobot on the hill and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to. But there was still some morbidly curious part of him that wanted to put a name to the faceplate of the hidden Autobot who had saved the day.

"Megatron and I… we were at a small mining town. They refused to yield, so Megatron decided to blast them to bits. But then an Autobot came and… he saved the town, Optimus, and everybody in it. But I never knew his name. Who was he?"

Optimus hummed and looked off at the cluster of stars Cybertron was in. He considered them for a moment and took a deep vent as he looked side to side. "I do not know," he said softly as his field rumbled with grief. "There have been many heroes through this war who committed acts of valor and whose names were then lost to time. That Autobot on the hill was just... one of many."

One of many.

Just one of the many heroic bots Starscream had _shot_—

"I sense the distress in your field," Optimus said. He hooked his arm around Starscream's shoulder and guided him up to a rocky hill. "Go up there and look down upon the city that you saved, upon the city that would not be there were it not for your actions," Optimus said. "Be proud of yourself. You deserve it."

He gently pushed Starscream forward toward the edge of the rocky overlook. The hundreds of gold and blue and red lights of the city shone up into the sky and pulsed on and on, Optimus stared at him expectantly—

_The faint blue glow of the mining town shone up into the sky and made the air glow blue. The silhouette of the Autobot up above cast a blue shadow down below that completely obscured Starscream. Fear clawed up his throat and he looked up at the tall Autobot's silhouette that stood upon the rocky overlook. Just a few more feet, that was all, and then the enemy would be disposed of. But was he really an enemy?_

Starscream shakily walked up the rocky face as Optimus and the other Autobots expectantly watched on from down below.

Optimus squinted his optics up at Starscream as the Seeker shakily made his way up the rock face. The trees shuffled and Arcree stepped forward as Starscream walked off.

"Is he really ready for this?" Arcee leaned over and whispered to Optimus.

"I hope that he is finally ready to accept his innocence and to accept the fact that he is one of us now."

Arcee sighed. "He has to be ready to be one of us. I don't like him, but… we can't be a true team if one of the team members feels like they don't even belong."

"It has been a long time since he has felt that he belonged somewhere, Arcee."

Starscream ignored the whispering behind him as his frame began to shake more and more with each step closer to the high rock face.

_He rose higher and higher up the rock face. Pebbles slipped out from under his pedes and clattered down the hillside. Megatron and the other Decepticons expectantly watched on from down below. Just a few more feet, one blaster shot, and then his Master would be pleased. He would not be praised for disposing of this enemy, he knew that, he would not be given any gratitude—_

_He froze. He didn't know why, but his limbs locked up on him._

_He looked over his shoulder and saw Megatron on the crater rim up above. The warlord snarled down at him over their comms as his optics glowed bright red. "Keep going, Starscream!" he shouted. "Keep going!"_

Starscream froze. And he knew exactly why.

A few hundred feet away in the treeline the Autobots watched Starscream try to look upon the city he had saved.

"Why'd he stop?" Bulkhead asked. "Keep going, Star, keep going! C'mon, be proud of yourself for once!"

Starscream rose to his pedes and stepped up to the edge. He looked up and at the city he saved. The whole city and all of its buildings and streets and lights were sprawled out beneath him.

_The unknown Autobot towered above him, unaware, oblivious, unknowing—_

_Starscream fired his blaster._

Starscream froze. He heard the distant sound of his blaster echo around his helm and through the cold night air, but that didn't make any sense. His weapons were disabled, he couldn't fire a blast even if he wanted to. There were no more Decepticons so there was no way the Autobots would have fired a shot.

Starscream stood tall upon the rock and looked down at the city he'd saved—

_smoke curled through the air_

He stood upon the rock the exact same way the Autobot had stood upon the hill before he got shot—

_and the Autobot who had saved the day dropped into the crater below_

Starscream's optics widened—

"No, no, I don't deserve to take his place!" He turned around on his pede and ran back down the hill and left the sight of the city he'd saved far behind him.

He stumbled down the rock face in a wild clatter of motion and dust and rocks. Optimus ran up to him and placed his servos upon the Seeker's shoulders.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Starscream stared over his shoulder at the high rock he'd just run down. One moment there was nothing there, but then he blinked and then he saw it—the silhouette of that Autobot, the Autobot on the hill, the hero he had to have _killed—_and then the image vanished and the high rock was empty again.

"I'm fine," Starscream shook out quietly. "I'm not hurt. But I hurt _him._"

Optimus leaned back and looked down at Starscream with confusion and concern. "Who?"

Starscream took a deep shuddery vent. "_Everybody."_

Optimus's optics widened and his field drooped around him. "I thought you would be ready to accept that you are an Autobot now."

"I'm not worthy, Optimus," Starscream sighed. "I'm just not."

"Yes, you _are—_"

"_Guys…" _Bumblebee beeped as he cautiously ran up to the both of them. "_I'm sorry to interrupt, but, there are headbeams coming up the road, but we scanned the car coming up and it's not a 'Con. It's a human and if we don't leave we'll be discovered."_

"Yes! Let's leave, how about that?" Starscream said with fake cheer as he clapped his talons together. "No need to linger here in a place like the one where he died, where I k-killed him—"

Optimus reached forward and hugged him. "I do not know who you killed. But I am sorry that you feel as if you are usurping his place."

He was just one of many who were killed. The Autobot on the hill, the Autobot on the hill—

Starscream got up and walked away back down the mountain road. The Autobot's voices called after him, but he ignored them. He was fine, he was _fine._ He just needed some alone time, that was all.

The wind blew against him and the bright lights from the human settlement below lit the dark night up in gold and red as he briskly walked away from the Autobots.

Pedesteps followed after him and he felt a pair of optics on his back. Starscream knew he shouldn't look over his shoulder, he knew what—-or precisely, who—-he would see. But he looked anyway.

Optimus stood up high on the road above him and slowly walked towards him. "Starscream," he said in that soft tone of his, the same kind of voice you use when you approach something scared and broken.

"Oh slag, anything but _that _tone of voice!" Starscream groaned.

"You have done well today. Your performance was exceptional," Optimus said. Had this all happened just a few months ago, Starscream would've flared his plates in pride.

A harsh laugh broke out of his intake instead.

He laughed bitterly. For just a single moment, he thought he thought he actually deserved praise. It was his fault that Bulkhead almost rotted away. Perhaps one day he'd be worthy of praise… except…

"Do you not want to go back with us?" Optimus asked gently.

"What?! No, of course I want to go back with you. I just… want to look at the stars. That's all." He looked up into the sky and tried to ignore Optimus's gaze on his back. The lie felt thick and fake even to his own audials.

"...I see."

"Right, so, I'll just catch up to you all in a moment—"

Optimus walked right up beside him and sat down in the grass with him. Starscream's optics widened and he stared slack-jawed at the Prime.

Optimus just smiled. "We can catch up to the team together."

Starscream sighed and offlined his optics. "If you dare to try and 'comfort' me again, I swear I'll—"

"You are relapsing."

The words died in Starscream's intake. If he still had had both of his wings then they would have shot up right into the air.

"Excuse me?! Are you accusing me of acting like a Decepticon?"

"You were acting the same way you used to back when you were a Decepticon, yes. You were being arrogant, you were being violent, you were lying—"

Starscream bit his glossa and shrunk in on himself as each of Optimus's words hit him one after the other.

"—but you are also _grieving_. You are traumatized."

"I'm Starscream! I don't get _traumatized._"

"So says every Decepticon I have ever met."

"What, every Decepticon out there claims to be me?"

Optimus let out a heavy sigh. "No, Starscream, every Decepticon out there denies being traumatized by the horrors of the war. The incident with Bulkhead's memories traumatized you and left you in an unfamiliar situation. So you are now trying to process the incident by acting in ways that _are _familiar to you—-hence why you are acting like a Decepticon."

"Oh, can you really blame me for acting the way I only know how?"

"I know that _you _know that there are better ways to behave. It is all a choice, Starscream, and you are making the wrong one."

"I am somehow messing things up yet again," Starscream scoffed. The wind blew harder and the faint echoes of the Autobot's distant voices echoed through the wind.

"I will be beside you."

"And how can you guarantee that?"

Silence. Optimus said nothing and the only sound came from the cold wind as it blew past their frames.

"Ha!" Starscream shouted as he pointed one of his talons at the silent Prime. "You can't guarantee that we will always be together!"

Optimus hummed and looked off into the distance. "No, I cannot guarantee that. But I can try to prevent us from being separated." Optimus then reached his servo out. "Take my talon, Starscream, take it and together we will do such great things."

The sound of distant cars revved through the air. Arcee turned around and ran right up to the two of them. "We need to leave now."

A bright green groundbridge split the air and lit the clearing in bright light. A harsh wind blew against their frames, but Optimus kept his servo outstretched for Starscream to take.

"Take it, Starscream, promise me you understand that you are _worthy._"

Starscream reached his servo out to take Optimus's—

"We need to leave literally right now!" Arcee shouted as the human's head beams swept across their pedes.

Starscream pulled his talon away from Optimus and took one last look at the rocky hill and the sprawl of the city beyond it. Then he turned around and leaped through the bridge in a flash of green light.

* * *

"_Maybe he'll get better one day!" _Bulkhead's voice echoed from the main room.

"Slag," Starscream swore. He'd hoped that the gush of the water from the washracks would drown out their gossiping, but apparently not. Starscream grumbled and turned the water on higher and higher and let it sear the dirt of the day away from him.

"_I don't know… Megatron messed him up pretty bad. Why would he be angry with us for being grateful to him?" _Bumblebee blooped.

The hot water that gushed over his frame was so hot that it nearly hurt. But that was okay—the pain helped him think more clearly. Megatron's beatings had helped with that a lot.

He placed his talon on his Autobot badge and frowned at his distorted reflection on the washracks wall. The sight of the bright red badge felt so out of place on his own frame. He scowled and splashed some water on the wall to make his reflection vanish.

One part of Starscream wanted to just run out of the washracks and wring the Autobot's neck cables for daring to talk about him behind his back. Another part of him wanted to run off to his room and was content to let them gossip all they want.

Optimus's heavy sigh echoed through the corridor. "_Because his arrogance is just a mask that he uses to hide his insecurities and now that—"_

Starscream punched the wall.

He tilted his forehelm against the washrack's wall and let all of the dirt of the past month just wash away. Fragments of dirt from the cave Optimus had recruited him in washed down and spiralled down the drain. He still remembered the cave, that day Optimus reached out to him and Starscream reached back.

Optimus had reached out to him again—

But Starscream couldn't reach back. Not ever again.

The hot water seared him and stripped away bits and pieces of paint from his frame. He'd lost the right to be painted prismatic colors a long time ago. Everything would be fine, right? He was a danger to the team, so everything would be okay as long as he just stayed in the shadows. He could still contribute, but just from behind the scenes from now. Let the others take the spotlight. He'd spent his entire life so far trying to reach the limelight, but now that he was in it, all he wanted to do was step out of it.

Starscream stepped out of the washracks and into the middle of the hall and let the water sluice down his scarred armor. He just wanted to check on his energon stache in order to sate his paranoia. For all he knew, Optimus could show up at any moment and forbid him from refueling. He knew that he hadn't really done anything that bad today in order to warrant such punishment, but some part of him—the _deeply_ guilty part of him—expected the Prime to snatch Starscream's energon away despite his heroic act earlier. He just wanted to dry off in his room.

He turned a corner and his wing flared in surprise.

Optimus stood out in the hall. "Come with me," he said as he gently grabbed Starscream's shoulder and began to steer the Seeker away from the washracks.

"Er, where are we going?" Starscream asked. "I'm still dripping wet!"

"I figured that you would want to dry off somewhere… windier."

Optimus led him deeper and deeper into the base through halls that he had never been through before. He walked up a steep metal staircase that led up high into the rafters of the base. Starscream stared up at Optimus with wide optics as his wing tingled in anticipation. Something was about to happen, but whether it was good or bad was something that he did not know.

Optimus halted upon the steps and turned back to smile at Starscream. "I can assure you that you will like the place I am bringing you to."

"Oh, please don't tell me it's another musky storage closet or training arena. They all smell of dust… and scraplets, for some reason!" Starscream scoffed as he walked up the stairs to stand beside Optimus. Optimus just smiled knowingly and walked underneath a hatch.

Starscream's spark froze in its chamber. Was that—?

Optimus pushed the hatch door open and a blast of wind blew inward. Every single sensor across Starscream's entire frame lit up as the cold stale around him became warm and alive. He offlined his optics and stretched out his single wing to catch the breeze.

"Come along," Optimus said as he stepped through the hatch.

"You're really letting me outside?!"

"After all that you have been through… it is what you deserve." He stretched his servo out to the Seeker and pulled Starscream through the air.

A blast of cold air slammed into his frame. This was different from the rush of wind he felt when he walked through the groundbridge—this was the wind of the sky around the base, the wind that whirled around his _home—_

He emerged onto the roof of the base and stared out with wide optics over the vast moonlit desert landscape. Optimus looked out over the desert and stared at the distant lights of a far off town in the distance. Starscream peered over the edge of the base and his optics widened at the sight of the drop far down below. He would hate to have to climb down it.

Starscream looked over the roof of the base and saw a pile of rocks near the edge. "What's that—?"

Optimus hooked his arm around the Seeker's shoulders and steered him away from the mysterious rock pile. "Starscream, you cannot run from me by hiding away within the base."

Starscream scoffed. "Uh, I was not hiding from you! I was just cleaning myself! I just tend to… wander around the base and enter and exit certain rooms when you coincidentally just happen to not be with me in any of those rooms at the time. That is all."

Optimus went silent and just stared at him for a few moments. "...Ah. I can only help you so much. I can tell you that you are worthy to be here as many times as I want, but in the end, it is ultimately up to you to accept that… whether or not I am here."

"Don't talk like that!" Starcream pointed his talon accusingly at the Prime.

"Talk like what?"

"So… _ominously. _As if you think you'll be unable to give me advice anymore one day."

"I intend on staying beside you for a very long time, Starscream. I will not be going anywhere."

"Hmphf." He tried to ignore the way Optimus's words made him feel warm inside.

"Surely you understand that isolating yourself will just make your mental state deteriorate even further?"

Starscream rolled his optics. "My mental state has already deteriorated. Listen, I'm destined to ruin everything. If I don't distance myself from you, then I will inevitably mess up and hurt one of you next time. When I do, that will mentally hurt me even more than distancing myself from you!"

"Making friends is worth the potential sparkache. I know that and I know that _you _know that. You cannot keep pushing us away."

Starscream fluttered his wing nervously. "That's... not the right word to use. 'Pushing' is a tad harsh. Oh, no no no, I was just… distancing myself from all of you."

"It is all the same. This is the time you must have others beside you the most, the number one time to have others bots support you, assist you, and show gratitude to you for your good deeds—"

Starscream cringed. "No, don't…"

Optimus paused. "I thought you enjoyed being praised?"

Starscream sighed. "Oh, back onto that topic? Of course I do!"

"Do you really, though?"

"Oh, Primus, _yes, _I just… don't deserve it anymore. That is all."

Optimus looked up at the stars Cybertron was in. "You enjoyed having praise heaped upon you, yet you also mistrusted it. You seek it, but when you receive it… you then get sick and tired of it and no longer want it."

Starscream grit his dentae. "Pointing out the contradictions, I see."

"If you truly and honestly feel that all praise that has been given to you was just an attempt to manipulate you, then why is that throughout all these years, you have accepted other bot's praise with such joy?" Optimus asked in that infernally soft voice of his.

"All those bots who were nice to me just wanted to _use _me. Megatron taught me that. And I knew their kind words and gratitude were all hollow, yes… but I liked to pretend that it was real."

Optimus stared at him for a few moments. "...I see."

Hot regret suddenly clamped down around Starscream's spark. "Oh, look what you've reduced to me! I'm saying things I vowed to never tell anybody, and yet the moment you drag me onto a roof, it's personal chit-chat time!"

"Then leave."

Starscream's single wing shot up in surprise. "What?"

"If you find this conversation to be so annoying, then you may depart."

Starscream's jaw dropped. "What… but…"

Optimus turned and just stared at him. "You are still here, I see."

"What—oh, aren't you observant?!"

A smile appeared on the Prime's faceplate. "I know that you won't leave. And neither will I. You like our conversations more than you let on. You reject help from anybody besides Megatron because it is what you were trained to do."

Starscream sputtered. "What, no, that's not true, except…"

He trailed off and stared into the night.

"You say that you don't care, yet here you are distancing yourself from me… in order to protect me. There is Megatron, yes, but besides him, you are your own worst enemy. And you need to look past the teachings Megatron has instilled in you and you need to follow _my_ teachings.

"If you were really reverting back to being a Decepticon, you would have tried to escape us. But you did not. You chose to stay, which indicates to me that you know that you're relapsing and returning to your old ways… but deep down, you don't want to relapse at all. You wanted to be stopped by somebody, by me specifically, because deep down you want somebody to pull you away from the edge."

Starscream just stared at Optimus. And stared. And stared.

"There are very few bots over the years who have left me speechless. You are one of them." Starscream said softly. "Just… why?"

"What confuses you?"

"Why do you keep trying to help me?!"

Optimus was silent for a few moments.

"I will keep pulling you away from the edge as long as you keep stepping up to it."

That familiar choking feeling rose up within Starscream's throat and he buried his faceplate in his servos. Primus, why was all of this just so hard?

"I feel that there is even more to all of this than I can understand. You would always boast about how great you are, but now that there are bots who are actually calling you great… you are unhappy. Why?"

"Why? _Why?_" Starscream snarled.

Optimus leaned back with wide optics and gave the Seeker some space. Starscream jumped to his pedes and flared his wing as his optics shone bright red.

"Oh, do you want to know why? Do you? Probably because I've been lying to myself about how great I am all these years and now there are a bunch of bots who actually _believe _my lies?! Probably because I nearly got one of you _killed _and now you're praising me for it, probably because _I'm just arrogant because it's the only way I can motivate myself—"_

Optimus suddenly stood up and gently pulled Starscream back to the ground. He held the angry Seeker close to his side and hooked his arm around his shoulder.

"Sit here with me," Optimus said as he sent out waves of calm from his field in an attempt to calm down Starscream's own frazzled field.

"Why?" Starscream laughed bitterly. "So you can dissect me even more?!"

"So that you can _rest_.."

Starscream pulled his knees to his chin and shook in anger—-but he did not know who he was even angry at. Maybe he was angry at Megatron for breaking him and then remaking him into something ugly. Maybe he was angry at Optimus for daring to try and fix him.

But maybe he was angry at himself.

"_Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

Starscream bit his lip and sat still beside Optimus. His field angrily thrashed against Optimus's calm field and made the air fizzle and hiss with static. Normally whenever the two of them sat together like this, his field calmed down.

But not this time.

Starscream groaned and held his helm in servos and willed his field to calm down. He needed to stop, he needed to think, he needed to _breathe_—

"_Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

"Starscream?" Optimus asked softly.

"_Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

He clamped his servos over his audials and willed the memory of the drone's voice to vanish from his helm and to leave him and his already turbulent emotions alone and in peace.

"_Do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

The voice needed to be quiet, he just wanted the slagging thing to shut up—

"Do you think that you are ready to accept that you are truly one of us now?" Optimus asked softly.

He just wanted silence, not acceptance. Starscream lifted his helm and looked at Optimus. He opened his intake to say something—closed it—and then took a deep breath.

"Most of the time when we have these talks, I walk away all enlightened and feeling better about myself. Most of the time… I can successfully move on past Megatron's lessons."

Optimus's optics widened and hope flared in his field for a split moment.

"_Do you seriously think—"_

"But," Starscream said shakily as a thousand thoughts collided against each other in his helm.

"—_that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy?"_

"But I don't think I can move on from this. Not this time, Optimus. Not for now at least."

He was not worthy of the Autobot legacy and never would be.

Starscream went silent.

Optimus stared off into the night and took a deep vent. "Is there nothing I can say that can convince you that you are truly worthy of the badge upon your chestplate?"

Starscream clenched his talons into fists. "You're not the problem, it's me, okay? I'm _always _the problem—"

"It does not have to be like this."

He got up and ran back over to the trapdoor.

"Stop running. Please," Optimus pleaded.

Starscream froze and looked between the trapdoor and Optimus.

"Maybe one day I'll be able to stop running. But I'm not ready. Not yet. I'm sorry!"

He threw the door open and vanished back into the base. It closed with a clang that echoed through the air and across the vast desert. Optimus sighed and stared at the empty spot where Starscream had sat. He looked out over the desert canyon and listened to the sound of the wind that Starscream loved so much blow all around him.

The trap door creaked open. Perhaps it was Starscream and he had returned because he had changed his mind—

There was a gasp.

"You… you brought him _here?_" Ratchet breathed in horror.

Optimus let out a sigh and continued to stare out at the desert. "You need not worry about the location of the base, you already ensured that he could not scan for the base's coordinates—"

"You brought Cliffjumper's murderer to Cliffjumper's _grave?_"

Optimus turned around and his optics widened. Ratchet stood there in front of him, but his optics weren't on the Prime—they were latched onto a mound of dirty rocks upon which a single silver metal horn sat.

Optimus stood up and took a deep breath. This was damage control, he just had to reassure Ratchet that everything was fine and—

"What is wrong with you?! This place is sacred, _holy,_ and you dared to bring Starscream here?"

"Ratchet..."

"Hep hep hep! No, don't you even dare try to stop me!" Ratchet sputtered as he waved his servos around in the air. "You won't be able to calm me down the same way you can calm Starscream down, no no no! I was already upset by how much free reign you've given him over the base… but to think that you allowed him _here?_ He desecrated Cliffjumper's corpse, what makes you think he won't do so again?!"

"He will not hurt him ever again, my old friend—"

"Cliffjjumper was our friend too, and yet look what you did! You went and replaced him with his murderer!"

The moon dipped behind the distant mountains and the silver light disappeared. The rooftop was plunged into darkness and the only light came from the stars above and the bright blue glow of their optics.

"There have been no replacements. No substitutions. Cliffjumper and Starscream are not replacements for each other—"

"Is this about vengeance, huh?"

Optimus took a step back. "...What are you implying, old friend?"

"Ohohoho, don't you 'old friend' me!" Ratchet sputtered. "You feel bad about the deaths of all of the Autobots Starscream killed, so now you think that making Starscream feel guilty for their deaths will somehow make it all better! 'Here Starscream, here's the frame of that bot you killed, feel bad yet?'"

Optimus's servos clenched into fists. "Do not accuse me of emotional manipulation. Those are Megatron's methods, not mine."

"Then why did you bring him here?!"

"So he could go home, Ratchet."

Ratchet scoffed. "Optimus, he doesn't really _have_ a home. What are you even talking about?"

"I brought him up here because even though we are trying to make the base his new home, his true home will always be the sky."

"Sometimes I think that it'd be better if he just flew away again! Or maybe things would be better if he couldn't fly at all."

"You do not mean that. You want him to fly again, I know you do."

"I'm helping him fly again because he is my patient and is in need of repair. That's just what I do—oh, I'll rebuild his wing, I'll rebuild it so that he can fly off with you watching him leave while utterly sparkbroken. He will leave one day."

Optimus looked up into the stars and wondered which star was Cybertron. "He will not leave me and I will not leave him."

"You can't guarantee that. This war has ripped away so many bots from us before. It could easily claim your spark just as easily as it did Cliffjumper's."

"Starscream will not kill me."

"Oh, pfft, physically? No, that is unlikely… but mentally? He'll rot your processor!"

"And how could he do that, Ratchet? Perhaps in the past he could have manipulated me into losing my sanity, perhaps—but he is not the same bot anymore. He no longer manipulates others, he instead manipulates himself into thinking that he is unwanted and unworthy."

"Well, maybe he _is _unworthy—"

"_I_ am not worthy of _him._"

Ratchet blinked and stepped back. "Optimus, what…?"

Optimus looked off into the sky again. "It is getting late, we should get back into the base—"

"No no no, you're staying _here, _mister! You may be Prime, but I am still your physician!"

Optimus looked at Cliffjumper's grave again. "He has been able to survive so much and yet keep going, Ratchet. Few bots have such endurance—not even me."

"Bah, of course you do, you're here now!"

"Am I, though? I sometimes feel like I left my true self behind in the Senate Chamber that fateful day."

Ratchet rapidly shook his helm back and forth. "No, slag it, Optimus, don't talk like that."

"I speak the truth. I think I lost my true self long ago. That is why I am trying to help Starscream regain _his _true self… as an Autobot."

Ratchet scoffed. "He literally just said that he doesn't think he can truly be an Autobot!"

"His insecurities are clouding his processor. He will soon see that he is worthy to be a part of our legacy."

"Are you truly so sure of that, Optimus?"

Optimus rose up to his full height and looked down at Ratchet. "Yes. I am."

"Well then, then—_gah!_ If you refuse to prepare yourself for his inevitable betrayal, then I will just have to do the preparations _myself_." Ratchet turned around and stomped back down into the base as Optimus's voice called after him.

Prime was confused and his compassion had blinded him yet again. No, he wouldn't allow Starscream to become the next Megatron, to become the next bot to win the Prime's trust and love, only to destroy it. Ratchet stomped down the hall and threw down the door to his lab. The brilliant green glow of synth-en illuminated the entire room.

This green glow was safety and security. No, once he finished the synth-en, it would change everything. They would no longer have to rely on Starscream to seek out more energon for them.

Ratchet lifted up one of the bright green jars and watched the synth-en slosh around in it. Yes, this could change everything.

He just needed to test it. He looked around at all of his equipment and frowned. It would take a long time to ensure that the formula was stable enough to be used and that was time that they just didn't have.

Ratchet grumbled and sat down and stared at the bright green synth-en. It was beautiful. No, he needed to test it out now more than ever. Starscream was rapidly growing more and more unstable and he would snap sooner or later. When that happened, he needed to be as strong as the Seeker in order to ward him off.

Ratchet picked up a vial of the synth-en and just held it there in front of his faceplate. It would be so easy to just… drink it—

No, that would be reckless. He put the vial back down and sighed. Ratchet got up to leave his work desk behind, but then paused. He looked around his lab and saw the handiwork of Starscream everywhere. The most intact plates with the equations on them had all been drawn in the Seeker's whirling Vosian script.

Ratchet's servos clenched into fists by his sides. Even the sight of Starscream's handwriting made something within him snap. He grabbed the small vial of synth-en and chugged it down.

* * *

Starscream rubbed at his faceplate as he dragged himself through the halls. All he wanted to do was curl up on his berth and forget about everything that had happened tonight. He still felt as if Megatron's talon was closed around his neck and instinctively lifted his own talon to wrench Megatron's away—but there was nobody there. Nobody except for Ratchet.

"I know who you _really_ are," Ratchet whispered.

"Uh, are you okay?" Starscream said cautiously as he approached the medic. He stood in the doorway of his lab and was backlit by a bright green glow.

"I saw the impact Megatronus had upon Optimus and I refuse to allow you to cause the same damage!"

Ratchet's helm shot up and he narrowed his optics at Starscream. They were bright green.

"No!" Starscream gasped. His own optics widened in surprise and he turned and ran down the corridors of the base. He threw open the door to his room and let it clang shut behind him.

The sound of pedesteps shuffled outside of his door just moments later. He could tell from the weight of them that they were definitely not Optimus's.

The bright green glow of Ratchet's optics shone through the foggy and blurry glass of the large door to his room. Ratchet then moved on and the green glow vanished.

Starscream waited breathlessly for a few moments. He crouched down and pushed the crate under his berth aside again. The bright blue glow of his energon stache shone out into the room yet again. Starscream sighed in relief and pushed his crate back in place.

Everything would be fine. Maybe one day he'd be worthy enough to carry on the Autobot's legacy.


	20. Tension

_"Destroy it," Skyfire begged. _

_Starscream took a deep vent. "No." _

_The entire lab vibrated with energy. A tall cylinder full of bright green liquid bubbled and frothed in front of the two mechs. _

_"What we created is a monstrosity, Star," Skyfire said. He looked grimly upon the synth-en and his field shuddered around him with fear. _

_Starscream clenched his talons into fists. He hated sensing the stench of fear in Skyfire's field. This poor shuttle deserved so much and yet received so little. _

_Starscream wished he could give Skyfire this one thing, he wished he could just grant this one request. _

_But he couldn't. _

_"It could help bots," Starscream said. The cylinder of synth-en flared and for a moment all Starscream saw was just green. _

_"No, Star, no!" Skyfire grabbed Starscream's arm and tried to pull him away from the cylinder. Starscream resisted the shuttle's strength and dug his pedes into the lab's floor. Skyfire pulled Starscream away from the synth-en as it began to bubble more and more. Starscream thrashed in the shuttle's grip and hissed and kicked out with his pedes as the cylinder flared green and washed the lab in green light yet again. _

_He pulled himself free of Skyfire's grasp and fell backwards into a table full of testing equipment. Glass shattered and Starscream slid to the ground as the shards fell over him. Yet despite all this he kept his optics focused on one thing and one thing only—the synth-en, the product of his hard work, the future— _

_Skyfire gently grabbed ahold of Starscream's helm and forced the Seeker to look at him. "Look at me, okay? Look at me, don't look at it. The synth-en is dangerous! It will just get bots hurt! You got hurt because of it literally just now!" _

_"I got hurt," Starscream snarled, "because of you." _

_Skyfire blinked and hurt welled up in his field. Guilt instantly shot through Starscream's spark at the sight of Skyfire's crestfallen faceplate. But no. He couldn't yield to anybody—not even to his brother. _

_"I was trying to protect you, Star," Skyfire said slowly and quietly. His massive wings fluttered in agitation behind him. _

_"You were trying to protect me from something that isn't even that dangerous." _

_Skyfire's optics flared. "Not that dangerous, Star? Not that dangerous? We tested it! We know what it's capable of! If somebody were to drink it they would experience a heightened state of aggression and could violently act out. How is that not dangerous? Do you really want bots to drink this… this thing that we created? Do you want violent bots like that out in the world?" _

_Starscream looked back at the synth-en. "The world is violent enough already. Maybe it's time to fight back." His own words sounded faint to his own audials. He would never have dreamed of saying such a thing back in older times—but was that problem, wasn't it? Those were older times. Simpler times. The time back when he was still an ignorant and naive Seeker who underestimated the Council and who had died when he had his wings gouged out by them. _

_He fluttered his wings. They still stung where they had been cut into and if he let himself slip away a moment he could still feel the memory of his attacker's sharp digits cutting into the delicate mesh of his wings again and— _

_"...Star?" Skyfire's voice was softer now. "Are… are you crying?" _

_"No!" Starscream hissed. "I am fine, everything is fine!" _

_Skyfire gently grabbed onto Starscream's shaky talon and guided him away from the pile of shards on the floor. "Everybody knows that's what bots say when they aren't fine." _

_Starscream wrapped his arms around himself and just stared non-stop at the bright green synth-en. "We can fix it," he said softly. "Yes, it's unstable as of right now, but that can be changed. It just needs more testing." _

_Skyfire sighed heavily. "A lot more testing. Testing we can't afford." _

_"We can afford it." _

_Skyfire blinked. "The Academy approved it?! They're going to give us the funds?" _

_"No," Starscream said. He took a deep vent and forced the next words out. "Not the Academy. Somebody else." _

_Confusion filled Skyfire's field. He frowned and squinted at the Seeker. His optics widened and his field went cold and still as realization dawned upon him. _

_"I told you that if the Council were to ever contact us we were meant to ignore them," Skyfire said as cold tendrils of fear began to snake through his field. _

_"They are not easily ignored. Do you understand, Skyfire? We have to keep working on the synth-en—no matter how dangerous it is. Because if we throw away our research…" _

_"Star, did you agree to their offer?" _

_"No, er... well...I loathe them so much, but this new energon we make could give the populace the strength they need to overthrow them. I haven't agreed to the Council's demands, not yet at least. But I don't think they'll wait any longer, Sky. And I'm scared. I'm really really scared." _

_Skyfire pressed his forehelm to Starscream's. "I am too. But don't worry! No storm will separate us!" _

_The entire lab shook. Heavy pedesteps boomed from the hall outside. _

_"Skyfire…" Starscream began slowly. "I don't think the Council is going to wait for our decision any longer." _

_A fist pounded upon the metal door to the lab. "IN THE NAME OF SENTINEL PRIME, OPEN THE DOOR." _

_Skyfire and Starscream's optics widened and they looked back and forth from the door to the synth-en. _

_"They can't be allowed to have it," Skyfire whispered as he leaned down low so that he was optic level. "How do we stop them?" _

_The door shook with the force of even more fists. "IN THE NAME OF SENTINEL PRIME—" _

_Starscream whimpered. "I don't think we can." _

_"—OPEN THE DOOR." _

_The last thing Starscream saw was Skyfire's concerned and scared faceplate right in front of him. Smoke filled the lab and his sensors were completely thrown off balanced and confused. A large servo grabbed ahold of his wing and yanked him backwards through the pile of glass and out into the hall. The scars on his wings from where they had been cut into flared with pain. The synth-en shined again and briefly lit up the smoke and the silhouette of a prone shuttle briefly became visible through the gloom. _

_Then the door to the lab slammed shut. _

_Starscream coughed smoke out of his vents and blinked dust away from his optics as he looked up at the sight of several Enforcers who stood above him. _

_"What did you do to him?!" _

_"IN THE NAME OF SENTINEL PRIME—-" _

_"What did you do?!" _

_"—YOU WILL BE QUIET." _

_Starscream attempted to rise to his pedes, but then one of the Enforcer's heavy servos came down and forced him to his knees again. "Why? You said I had time to consider your offer!" _

_"And that time is now up," said one of the Enforcers. He ignored Starscream and looked at another Enforcer. "Go in there and retrieve the warframe's work once the smoke clears." _

_"Why didn't you give me more time to consider?!" _

_The first Enforcer looked down at him again. "Sentinel is getting impatient." _

_That designation made Starscream's spark freeze. He'd heard of Prime before, but he'd always seemed like some distant tyrant far far away. _

_"You are interesting," the first Enforcer said. "The smokebomb should've briefly knocked you offline, yet you remain unaffected. You are stronger than we first thought." _

_He looked down at Starscream as if the Seeker was some scientific oddity and not an actual person. A chill went down Starscream's spinal strut. _

_The second Enforcer came out of the lab with the large cylinder of synth-en held in his arms. It flashed bright green and vibrated with power. The Enforcer's optics widened and a hint of fear tinged their fields. _

_"This is everything that Sentinel ever wanted." _

_"Don't touch it!" Starscream snarled. "Get your dirty servos off of it!" _

_One of the Enforcers frowned. "Are we arresting the warframe or not?" _

_The first Enforcer looked down at him. "He can't create more weapons for Prime if he's in a cell. Just shove him back into the lab." _

_They pried the door to the lab open again and tossed Starscream inside. The door shut with a clang and he had to wait for his optics to readjust to the smoky darkness. The sight of ruined lab equipment and even more piles of shattered glass became visible, yet there was still no sign of Skyfire. _

_"Sky? Are you okay?" Starscream whimpered as he crawled forward through the wreckage. He fanned the smoke away with his talon and peered through the gloom for any sign of life. The faint and hazy shape of a shuttle became visible and Starscream dashed towards it. _

_He fell to his knees beside Skyfire's frame on the floor. The shuttle's systems onlined again with a hum and he looked around at the ruined lab with shock in his field. _

_"Oh, thank Primus you're okay!" Starscream said. His brother was fine and that was what mattered most. But now he had other things to attend to. _

_Skyfire slowly sat up and stared wide-opticed at the now missing synth-en. "Promise me you won't f-follow them." _

_"What?" _

_Skyfire reached up and tightly grabbed Starscream's cut arm. "Promise. Me." _

_Starscream leaned back from him and looked upon the shuttle with wide optics. "I… they took it, Sky, they took it!" _

_"And l-let them have it." _

_Starscream shook his helm. The sight of the bright green cylinder of synth-en was burned into his memory now. Every time he blinked he saw a green afterimage in his optics. "They'll abuse it, Sky!" _

_"Then let them, because if y-you go after them then they will abuse you." _

_"No, it needs to be under our control! Ours! Not theirs! I need to get it back so that it won't be used to hurt bots, it needs to be stabilized." Starscream stood up and flexed his wings. Skyfire reached out and grabbed onto Starscream's ankle. _

_"Don't do this! Please, you'll regret it!" _

_Starscream took a deep vent. "But I will greatly regret not doing this." _

_He pulled his pede free of Skyfire's grasp and ran out of the ruined lab as Skyfire called after him. _

* * *

The bright blue glow of their energon lit up the room. Optimus and Ratchet both stood over their energon supply and grimaced down at the cubes below. Their supply had once reached up to the ceiling and shone so brightly that you had to squint when you entered the room. Now it was just a collection of meager cubes scattered across the floor.

"This can't continue," Ratchet said quietly. His field was different now. His field had always been heavy and stiff and full of repressed anger and frustration, but now there was something cold about it.

Optimus sighed deeply. "The last mission was a failure to replenish our supplies, yes, but the next one will not be."

"Oh, can you guarantee that?" Ratchet scoffed. His spark flared in his chestplate and his plating twitched as a new nervous energy raced through his lines.

"I cannot. But I can guarantee that we will try."

The lights of the base flickered and the generator in the back room that powered everything hummed loudly as the base briefly went dark for a few moments. Optimus and Ratchet both grimly stared up at the light bulbs as they flickered yet again.

It was so tempting to just nod and go along with Optimus. That was what everybody in the base seemed to do nowadays. Just nod and trust in Prime and listen to his speeches. It would be so easy to just go with the flow and trust in his leader the way he always had for thousands of years.

But now Ratchet was different. His spark thrummed with a new energy and the lethargic fog that had covered his spark for years was now finally _lifted. _Now he could see past the blind optimism of Optimus's speeches and now he could finally see the _truth. _

"How could you take him to the roof like that?" Ratchet said softly. His voice was soft but his field was hard and cold.

Optimus did not look at Ratchet and continued to stare at their meager supply of energon. "Starscream needed to look out upon the world."

"The world that he threatened and that he _still _threatens?"

Optimus frowned. "He is not a threat."

"Yes, he is, but just in a different way now! You saw him! He relapsed!"

"Progress is not linear nor is it instantaneous. He is trying his hardest."

Ratchet rolled his optics. "Try this, try that, that's what everyone says nowadays. We used to do things. Now we just try things."

"Ratchet—"

"You used to try and defeat Megatron? What changed?" Ratchet laughed bitterly as he threw his arms out. Yes, he felt different now. His frame buzzed with energy, but it wasn't the kind of energy that coursed through his veins when he operated on a patient on the brink of death—no, this wasn't the kind of energy of a bot who was desperately trying to save a life. This was the energy of a bot who had just begun to live his life.

Optimus squinted at him. "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean! You could have shot Megatron while he was up on the hill, but then you didn't take the shot! Why?"

"He had Starscream within his grasp. Megatron is perfectly willing to use his own soldiers as shields to defend himself with."

"So?"

"Old friend, what are you implying?"

Ratchet's helm swam and his optics twitched but he felt more alive than ever before. "You know what I'm implying. Risking shooting… _him _… was worth it if meant you had a chance at taking out the warlord who started all of this suffering in the first place!"

"No. It would not have been worth it. If I am as aggressive and as reckless as you desire me to be then the remainder of our species will be eradicated by this war. Even if we do defeat the Decepticons via such a violent method of warfare, then what will be left of our kind when we return to Cybertron? Every spark is precious."

"Including Megatron's it would seem," Ratchet scoffed. Optimus frowned at him in concern and put a servo on his shoulder.

"You are… different today."

"Ohoho," Ratchet laughed as he turned to look over his shoulder at the Prime. His optics flared green. "I am not just different. I am_ alive_."

Optimus's optics widened. "Old friend… what have you done?"

Ratchet smiled as his optics glowed green. "I will do what you _couldn't_."

* * *

_"Oh, no no no," Starscream whimpered. This should have been easy. All he had to do was follow the Enforcers and get his hard work back. Simple. _

_But he had to have taken a wrong turn somewhere. These halls were strange to him and even made him feel even stranger things. A cold sense of dread settled within his tanks as he looked for any sign of any other bots. _

_A door was up ahead and a warm ray of orange light shone out of it. Starscream took deep vents and steeled his spark. _

_There was still time. He could still turn on his pedes and return to his and Skyfire's shattered lab. _

_Maybe Skyfire was right. Maybe he was being irrational— _

_The ground shook. The orange light that shone from the door flashed green. _

_Starscream froze. That right there was the reason that he could not turn back now. _

_He snuck in through the door and entered into a large auditorium and rows upon rows of empty seats stretched out before him. He moved back into the shadows and climbed his way up into the dark rafters and he slowly crept forward and looked down at the auditorium floor. _

_"Sir," a voice said. A familiar voice. Starscream's optics widened at the sight of one of his teachers down below. "It's not stable, it's not ready—" _

_"It's not ready for me, but nevertheless I am still ready for it," a deep voice said. Starscream froze. That voice was familiar too, but in a different way. He'd heard it so many times on the news and hoped he'd never have to hear it in person. _

_Starscream looked down and whimpered at the sight of Sentinel Prime surrounded by scientists. _

_"Oh, why have you failed me? Do you not care for Cybertron? For me?" _

_The air was thick with fear and the scientist's fields shuddered around them. Enforcers sat in the empty chairs above and kept their blasters pointed at the scientist's backs. _

_"Prime, we swear, we're just not ready!" Starscream's teacher said. _

_"Why is a warframe better at your job than you are? A warframe is creating things. This is a complete and utter perversion of what is right and what is natural. Yet here we are in this perverted world nevertheless," Sentinel sighed. "Bring the test subject in." _

_Two enforcers dragged in a bedraggled and cuffed soldier. They deposited the bruised mech onto the floor in front of Prime's pedes. The soldier bot stared at the floor with wide unseeing optics and couldn't stop shaking. _

_"You gave me the first proto-energon you charlatans created and told me that it could give me the super-soldiers I wanted. This…" Sentinel kicked the soldier and watched the mech topple to the floor with a whimper. "This is not what I wanted." _

_"W-we'll give you what you want, we promise!" the teacher pleaded again. _

_Sentinel glared at him. "So many promises and yet so few fulfilled ones. Bring the—what was this new energon called again?—the synth-en, yes. Test it on him." _

_The soldier bot remained unresponsive on the floor. _

_"Sir, he's not ready—" _

_Sentinel's optics flashed. "I am ready. Test it." _

_Starscream dug his talons into the rafter he was crouched upon and resisted the urge to scream as the Enforcers took the synth-en and injected it into the shaking soldier bot. His dim blue optics shone bright green and he sat up still upon the floor and looked up at Sentinel with wide and confused optics. _

_Sentinel frowned. "Nothing's happening—" _

_The soldier bot lunged forward and snarled in Sentinel's faceplate. Sentinel stared back unflinching as the Enforcers came in and wrangled the now-feral soldier bot away from him. _

_The scientists all stared at the now green-opticed soldier bot with fear in their own optics. Hot guilt shot through Starscream's spark. This was all his fault. _

_"Sir, this new formula is too effective. The test subject is now… rabid," one of the Enforcers said. _

_Sentinel sighed. "Ah. Then just take care of it." _

_Starscream resisted the urge to purge as he watched the soldier bot get dragged out of the auditorium and into a side room. The door shut with a clang and for a moment there was silence. _

_The sound of a blaster rang out. _

_Starscream slapped his talon over his intake in order to prevent a sob from escaping. _

_He would never allow himself to become a test subject like that, not now and not ever. He especially wouldn't let Skyfire become a test subject either. He needed to escape, he needed to flee and find Skyfire, he needed to escape— _

_One of the scientists shuffled up to Sentinel. "Should… should we trash the synth-en?" _

_Sentinel's optics flashed again. "Under no circumstances! No, there is potential here even though you short-sighted bots are unable to see it. We must simply continue to test this 'synth-en.'" _

_"But… on who?" _

_Starscream began to quietly inch backwards on the rafter. If he was quiet and quick about it then he could make it back to Skyfire in time— _

_"Hmmm," Sentinel hummed. He looked up and made optic contact with Starscream. "A warframe would be good, I think." _

_Starscream dropped from the rafter in shock. The Enforcers all turned their blasters on him and he found himself faceplate-to-faceplate with a dozen angry red blaster barrels. _

_He turned on his pede and stumbled up the steps as his spark pulsed in his chestplates. _

_"No, don't hurt him," Sentinel said. He smiled and held his servos out welcomingly. "Come here." _

_Starscream stood frozen in the aisle and stared at the Prime with wide optics. _

_Sentinel's smile twitched. "Come. Here." _

_Starscream darted up the steps, opened the door that led out of the auditorium, and took one last look back at the smiling Prime before he slipped through the doorway. Starscream practically threw himself into the dark hall and ran and ran and ran. _

_He ran at full speed through the halls of the academy. His fellow students creaked their doors open and popped their helms through as Starscream ran right past them. _

_Entire doors and hallways passed by him but the only thing that he could focus on was the memory of Sentinel. The image of Sentinel's faceplate lit by the vivid green energon was imprinted into Starscream's processor now. He could still see that warm smile that looked so much like Skyfire's— _

_Starscream threw the doors to the lab open and shut them with a clang behind him. Heavy pedesteps resounded behind him and he shrieked. _

_He twisted around, his talons extended— _

_And made optic contact with Skyfire. _

_"Starscream, what happened?" _

_He threw himself at the shuttle and buried his faceplate into interstellar-grade armor. "S-sky, do we still have the Ancient's formulas?" _

_Skyfire stroked his wings and hummed in thought. "Yes, they're hidden and it seems that the Council still doesn't know that we have them." _

_"Let's leave," Starscream shook out. "Put all of our knowledge away with the rest of the Ancient's work on that data cylinder. Let's take the cylinder and just… leave it all behind somewhere s-so they can't abuse it. We have it memorized." _

_Skyfire nodded. "I'll get started. Remember, Star. No storm will separate us!" _

* * *

"...Stop staring."

Bulkhead blinked up at Starscream. "What?"

"Oh, you're not _nearly _as subtle as you think you are. You've been staring at me for the past five minutes." Starscream rolled his optics. "You're doing that thing where you stare at me while awkwardly scratching your neck because you don't know what to say."

"But I really _don't _know what to say!" Bulkhead said.

The two of them were in the outer halls of the base. Starscream sat up in the shadowy rafters above and Bulkhead stood beneath him as he looked up at the Seeker.

"You've been moping a lot more often lately," Bulkhead hummed.

"Wha—I do not mope!"

"Then why are you up in the rafters bein' all sad and sassy like that?"

"Oh, frag off! I'm just… clearing my processor," Starscream said. The small size of the base had begun to get to him and the narrow concrete walls and small dark side-rooms had worn him down. His taste of the sky last night had helped him but also reminded him of what he'd lost. He fluttered his single wing and tried to remember the last time he was airborne.

"I got you a cube," Bulkhead said softly. Starscream peered down at the Wrecker and his wing flared in relief at the sight of the cube. Any moment now Optimus would come and cut down his energon supply; it was inevitable and the only logical thing to do in order to keep a Seeker as dangerous as him under control. Until then, he had to cherish every cube he got.

Starscream moved to jump down from the rafters—

"Eh eh eh! You're not getting this until you tell me why you're moping."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Oh, come on! I'm hungry!"

"And I'm hungry for answers!"

"I am just… resting."

"In your usual moping spot?!"

"It's relaxing up here!"

Bulkhead pointed his servo up at Starscream. "It's _sad _up there! Now spill the beans!"

"What the frag are beans?!"

"I know that you've _bean _better before—!"

"Oh no, stop stop stop, I'll tell you, okay? I just…" Starscream trailed off. When he offlined his optics he could still see the bright glow of the city's lights. The city he'd saved at the price of so many lives.

"Ohhh… so that's what you're upset about," Bulkhead said softly. "Leave it up to you to get your wings—er, wing—in a twist about something positive!"

"What I did was not good!"

"Do you regret saving the humans?!" Bulkhead shouted back up at him.

Starscream froze. "I…"

"Do you?"

He bit his lip and fluttered his wing as he mumbled his response.

Bulkhead squinted up at him. "Couldn't catch that."

"I said _no! _I don't regret saving them! Can't you hear me?!"

"Don't you hear how _silly _you sound? You sound as if saving a whole city is the worst thing in the world!"

Starscream curled up in a ball up on top of the rafter. "I still couldn't save the city that really mattered to me," he mumbled.

Bulkhead's optics widened. "...Oh. Listen Star, sometimes…"

Starscream listened to the Wrecker trail off. He snorted. He was a fool to think that Bulkhead could really help him with this.

"Sometimes the bots you save aren't the bots you really _want _to save. So when that happens, you just gotta be grateful you got to save anybody at all. Ya hear me?"

Starscream's field wavered around him. "I am saving you by distancing myself from you."

Bulkhead sighed and shook his helm. "But I'm still here, aren't I? You can distance yourself from me but you are fragging wrong if you think I won't shuffle up right beside you and close that distance right away!"

There was no response.

Bulkhead just stared up into the shadows of the rafters for a few moments and then sighed. Maybe the stubborn Seeker would come down later. He turned around and began to walk away—

The sound of pedes hit the ground behind him. He whirled around and his optics widened.

Starscream stood there in the hall. He refused to make optic contact and stared at the wall as he held his talons out. "Food. Now."

"If you really wanted to distance yourself from me then why did you just jump down to meet me?" Bulkhead said as he smiled smugly.

"Oh, you little—!" Starscream swatted at Bulkhead as the Wrecker held the cube out and away from the Seeker's grasp.

"Fine, fine, since you've been 10% less mean than usual, I'll let you have it."

Starscream sighed in relief. He reached out to pull the cube free of Bulkhead's servos, but the Wrecker's grip on it didn't budge.

"Uh…"

Bulkhead stared right at Starscream. "Now promise me that you'll be less mean to yourself."

"W-what?"

"Drink it. Drink it and promise me you'll be kinder on yourself."

"Er…"

"Promise. Me."

Starscream clutched the cube to his chestplate. "I… will."

Bulkhead smiled and clapped his servo over the Seeker's shoulder. "Ha! That's more like it! Are you going to come visit us in the main room?"

His optics widened. The main room. The main room was full of _people, _the people he could _hurt. _

"Um…"

Bulkhead sighed. "Oh, you gotta mope some more? Seriously? Okay, fine, fine, you're slow to adjust, you gotta mope for just a few more minutes, that's fine—"

"I do not mope, I just contemplate… the…"

Bulkhead turned to look at him. "You don't even fully know _why _you're hiding from us, do you?"

"To protect you," Starscream said softly. His grip on the cube tightened and his claws left grooves on its sides.

Bulkhead just stared at him. "I think that you are distancing yourself to protect us from… yourself, yes, but I also think that you're hiding from us because you're trying to protect yourself from _us._"

Starscream went silent and just stared at the Wrecker. The two of them locked optics. Then Bulkhead turned and walked down the hall.

The sounds of large pedes vanished and Starscream darted down the dark halls to his room. He threw open the door, shut it behind him, and practically threw the crate underneath his berth to the side. He craned down under his berth and ignored the way his tank begged for energon. He shoved the cube underneath the berth as a weight settled down on his spark, the same kind of weight he always felt fall over him whenever he broke a promise. But he had broken many promises and would probably break many more in the future. It was just the way of things.

He could fulfill his promise to Bulkhead and just drink the fragging thing, but that would leave him with one less cube to fuel himself with when starvation inevitably returned to him. No matter how hard he tried to keep himself fueled it seemed that starvation always awaited him in the end. Besides, it wasn't like he'd be running from anybody or anything anytime soon. He'd be fine, he didn't need the extra energy.

Starscream crawled out from under his berth and lifted his helm—

And then promptly smacked the back of his helm up against the edge of his berth.

His optics widened and his frame went still. He looked up at the low ceiling as the familiar grip of claustrophobia grabbed ahold of him.

_Megatron was angry with him, so angry, he swung out with his talon and smacked the back of Starscream's helm— _

Starscream slammed his fist onto the concrete floor. He bit his glossa and felt energon well up in his intake as he willed the memory of Megatron to vanish. But it was still there. The memories were _always _still there.

He sat there and vented heavily on the floor of his room. Something wet dripped down his neck. Starscream reached behind him and swore when his talon came back covered in droplets of energon.

"Oh, of course, I shove energon away for safekeeping and then promptly bleed energon all over the place!" Starscream scowled. It would be hard to reach his new injury. "I should go to the medic," he muttered.

The memory of bright green optics flashed back into his helm and made Starscream go still again. No, there was something wrong with Ratchet. Something had changed about the medic. He smelled that same kind of energon in the breath of many other mad mechs before and had hoped to never have to smell it again.

An angry soldier was a terrible foe to deal with, but an angry _medic? _No, he remembered the last time he foolishly allowed himself to be put into stasis for surgeries under the control of a foreign medic, long ago in the days before Knock Out. No, he wouldn't allow Ratchet to even _touch_ him.

Starscream sighed and reached behind his berth and pulled out a small welder he had stolen. He knew a day would come when the medic's hostility would grow so great that Starscream would have to repair himself, but he had hoped it did not have to come so soon.

* * *

"Where the frag is everybody?" Starscream asked.

He scanned the main room with wide optics. Raf looked up at him from the mezzanine and shrugged.

"A mission!"

"Hmpf," Starscream grunted. He knew that Prime didn't want him to go on missions anymore, but he wasn't expecting to be excluded from them so soon. His spark flared in his chestplate. Optimus hadn't even bothered to say goodbye. For some reason that thought disturbed him. Prime was the leader here and had no reason to tell him where he was off to, but there was still some part of Starscream that wanted to keep an optic on the Prime the same way he had needed to keep an optic on Megatron.

_Prime is different, _Starscream thought to himself as he stared into the dark groundbridge. Optimus didn't lunge at him from the dark. Optimus didn't beat him. Starscream didn't need to keep constant tabs on his locations so that he could avoid him.

But he couldn't help it; a thousand years of instinct told him to be aware of where Prime was at all times so that Optimus could _never_ get the drop on him, ever.

"Where did your medic go?" Starscream asked. He fluttered his single wing and felt his other wingless shoulder blade ache with the memory of flight.

"The mission, actually. Something went wrong, I think Arcee got separated and surrounded by Decepticons, so he went to go help her. Hey, Star?"

"Yes, fleshie? Er, I mean, human?"

"Well," Raf said softly as he pushed up his glasses, "I think something is wrong with Ratchet."

Starscream snorted. "Of course there is something wrong with him. He's got a wrench up his aft!"

Raf blinked. "Uh, you're not… _wrong, _but there's something else wrong with him now."

Starscream sighed. "Oh dear, now the cranky medic has a new problem to be angry about."

"It's you."

"What? Well, I'm not _that _surprised. I seem to cause problems wherever I go…" Starscream trailed off. The memory of Bulkhead's blank and unfeeling stare returned to the forefront of his processor and made him shiver. "But why is he only getting angry with me just now?"

"Because he's only gotten access to the synth-en just now."

Starscream's frame went cold. Raf continued to talk but all of his words went in one audial and out the other. The name of that terrible substance echoed around and around in his helm.

Synth-en. His spark froze. It was a name Starscream had hoped he'd never have to hear again.

"How much did he drink?" he asked suddenly.

Raf blinked. "I don't—"

_"How. Much?" _

Raf shakily shut his laptop. "I d-don't know the precise amount he drank. It was a lot, though."

_A lot. _

Starscream crouched down so that he was optic-level with the boy. "You need to get out of here, do you understand that?"

"Starscream… what is about to happen?"

He wanted to be wrong, but his instinct told him otherwise. He'd seen the horrors of synth-en and there was no way he'd allow this small fleshie sparkling to have to see them as well—

A shrill beep echoed into the air.

Raf's eyes widened when he saw a signal appear on the screen. He ran over and reached over the railing to press a button on the console. The bridge came to life and sent a cold blast of air over the entire room. The Autobots stepped through as the bright light of the bridge backlit them and cast their silhouettes into dark shadow. Optimus stepped through first and Starscream felt relief spread through his struts. Then came Bulkhead, then Arcee, then Bumblebee, and—

Ratchet stood frozen in the bridge. A chill went down Starscream's spinal strut.

He stood within the bridge upon the threshold into the base and glared into the main room with bright green optics.

Starscream's spark flared yet again. Green optics. It just had to be a trick of the light; there was no way that vile substance had somehow made its way to the Autobot base.

Starscream still instinctively stepped back, though. Optimus watched the Seeker slowly retreat from the bridge and frowned. "Are you okay?"

Ratchet snorted.

"Ratchet, will you be entering the room?" Optimus asked as he turned to look back at the frozen medic.

Ratchet took another step forward and out of the blinding light of the bridge. He continued to glare at the subject of his disdain and didn't even spare a glance at Prime.

Starscream stared at Ratchet.

And Ratchet stared right back with bright green optics.

Starscream cleared his intake. The urge to purge rose within him but he forced it down. "See something you like, medic?"

"No. I don't." Ratchet continued to glare at the Seeker as he took several heavy steps into the main room. Starscream's optics widened. He'd never seen Ratchet walk this way before and he'd never seen the medic stomp towards him as if he were some predator.

"Ratchet, I cannot help but be concerned by this new experiment of yours," Optimus said.

"Concerned?" Ratchet laughed as he continued to glare right at Starscream. "You seem to be much more concerned about some things more than others, Prime."

Everybody's fields flared with unease as Ratchet finally looked away from Starscream and turned to glare at Prime. Optimus resolutely stared back.

"And what do you mean by that?" Optimus said slowly, _cautiously. _Starscream knew that tone of voice. It was the cautious tone of voice Starscream himself had had to use whenever Megatron went on another one of his dark-energon induced rampages.

"I'm just saying that you seem to have a... misplaced sense of priorities."

"Oh?" Optimus said. The rest of the Autobots glanced between each other.

"Hey, calm down Ratch," Arcee said. "I'm fine, you saved me, it's all over—"

Ratchet whipped around and glared at her. "It is _not _over. This is still just the beginning!"

Arcee's winglets instinctively rose up on her back as she narrowed her optics at him. "The beginning of what? What's wrong with your optics?"

"What's wrong with me? What's _wrong _with me? The question you should instead be asking is what's _right _with me! I'm stronger now and I feel more energetic than I've felt in years. Years, Arcee, years! The synth-en is the key to everything."

Bulkhead leaned down to look at Ratchet's optics. His own optics widened. "Dude, I don't like this new look of yours. You look… crazy."

"Crazy? Insane?" Ratchet scoffed. "I'm not _in _sane, I am _sane _. Optimus is the insane one here!"

Optimus frowned. "Old friend, what do you mean?"

"Gah! 'Old friend'! I'm no longer just your old friend, I'm your _forgotten _friend. You seem to have a new friend now." He glared at Starscream.

Starscream's wing fluttered. "'Friend' is a bit of a strong word—"

"Oh, stop lying! You're practically brothers with Optimus now. But let's face it! The only reason you now have such a prominent role by the Prime's side is because you're a placeholder. He wants his old buddy Megatronus back, but he's insane as of right now, so you'll just have to occupy that space in the meantime."

Starscream's jaw dropped.

Optimus's field grew cold and hard around him. "Do not drink anymore synth-en. It has improved your fighting skills but seems to have also decreased your social skills, my old friend."

Ratchet spun around and pointed a shaky digit right at Optimus. He pressed the tip of his digit onto Optimus's chestplates—right atop where the Matrix of Leadership was.

"Primus gave that to you so that y-you could bring justice," Ratchet said softly as his field writhed with desperation. "So do that. Bring justice."

Optimus gently placed his servos on Ratchet's shoulders. "And how do you think I should do that?" he said. He gently steered Ratchet away from Starscream.

Another wave of desperation wracked Ratchet's field again. Starscream didn't know what the medic was so desperate for. He claimed that he wanted justice, but what did that even _mean? _

Starscream felt dread close around his spark like a cold talon. Oh, he knew exactly what Ratchet meant by 'bringing justice.' He looked at Ratchet.

And Ratchet stared right back again. He shrugged himself free of Optimus's grasp and stumbled backwards.

"Do something about Starscream!"

"I am doing something about Starscream," Optimus rumbled. "I am _helping _him."

"At _our _expense! Pah! The only reason Starscream is even here is because you felt bad because you couldn't save Megatronus, because you couldn't save Cybertron, and especially because you couldn't save _her _."

Optimus's optics widened by a fraction—it was a small change, so subtle that Starscream doubted anybody else had even seen it—but it was there nevertheless.

"You are correct in that I failed to save Arcee from the surrounding Decepticons."

Ratchet shook his helm as his plating and optics began to twitch. "Oh, Optimus, you and I both know that I was referring to a different femme."

Optimus narrowed his optics at Ratchet. "Do not speak of her—"

"Elita-One was just one of the many bots you _couldn't save. _"

_"Ratchet!" _Bumblebee shouted. _"What are you doing? What is the point of this?" _

"The point of this," Ratchet hissed, "is to make you _see. _"

"See what?" Arcee scoffed.

"What is _really_ happening here!" Ratchet shouted. Everybody except Optimus flinched back at the volume of his voice.

Starscream took a deep vent and began to slowly walk backwards. If he was stealthy about it then he could just slip away. He was practically a pro at running from trouble. The angry glint in Ratchet's optics was a familiar sight to Starscream, although he was much more used to seeing that same angry look in the red optics of a certain warlord rather than in the optics of a medic.

He was right upon the threshold of the hallway, once he slipped out of sight he could make a run for it back to his room—

"Don't think I haven't noticed," Ratchet growled as he turned to look right at Starscream. "I've seen the way you look at Optimus. The way you cling onto him. The way you've become _dependent _upon him."

Starscream's wing flared. "Do not speak of me as if I am some clingy sparkling!"

"Ah, but that is what you are. Deep down you are a bot deprived of a proper childhood and trying to relive it by clinging onto the first kind f-fatherlike figure you meet—"

Optimus stepped in front of Starscream and blocked the Seeker from the angry medic's view. "I do not appreciate your new behaviour. Refrain from consuming more synth-en in the future. This new version of you is detrimental to the wellbeing of the team."

Ratchet scoffed. "Oh, 'detrimental to the wellbeing of the team' my aft! If there is anybody here who is being a _detriment, _it's _him. _"

Starscream was suddenly grateful for Optimus's presence. The Prime's large frame blocked the angry medic from his view. If he offlined his optics then he could pretend that Ratchet wasn't there and that everything was fine as long as Optimus continued to shield him.

"He is not the problem here, Ratchet. The problem here is the cycle of abuse and violence that Megatron constructed in order to keep Starscream buried under his control. Do not allow yourself to fall into that same cycle of violence."

"Oh, and you like to play _savior, _don't you? You like t-to imagine that you rescued him from that cycle, _don't you? _"

Starscream's talons clenched into fists and he felt the tips of his digits pierce the soft inner mesh of his talon. He couldn't help it—he had to do whatever it took to distract himself and resist the urge to slash at Ratchet.

"He _did _help me escape that cycle!" Starscream snapped.

"You're not free of Megatron," Ratchet whispered hoarsely. "You're not free at all. You will return to him o-one day. And when you do… he will show up right on our doorstep—all because Optimus saved you because he wanted to feel better about himself!"

Optimus frowned down at Ratchet and squared his shoulders. Starscream only ever saw the Prime adopt such a stern and firm stance whenever he was facing down an enemy. The rest of the Autobots sensed this change and all stepped backwards.

"I did not rescue Starscream because I wanted to feel better about myself. I rescued him so that _he _could feel better about _himself. _"

Ratchet's green optics flashed. "Pfftt! Whenever we talk about this you always say that you saved Starscream because you were genuinely concerned for his wellbeing and also because you know that he has 'knowledge of the inner workings of the Decepticons that can be used to win the war'!"

"He has helped us. We would not have as much energon as we do now if I had not rescued him."

"What energon? What? Energon? We are starving!" Ratchet reached behind him and grabbed a small vial of synth-en off of the work desk. The sight of that bright green bubbly liquid made Starscream's tanks lurch. He'd hoped to never see that terrible substance ever again, and yet there it was being paraded around like it was some trophy.

"We no longer need him to seek out energon for us. I have all the energon we could ever need right here," Ratchet said. He stared at the synth-en as it sloshed around in its vial. It flared green and made a smile appear on Rachet's faceplate.

"Put that slag down, Ratch! It's not engex, is it?" Bulkhead said. Ratchet's helm whipped over to look at the Wrecker.

"You don't understand. None of you do. But you will."

"And what will we understand, Ratchet?" Arcee asked sternly as she crossed her arms.

"That there's _another _reason Optimus unburied Starscream," Ratchet turned and stomped back up to the Prime again. "And I don't think it's a reason that even _you _are aware of, Optimus. You couldn't save Megatron and you feel personally responsible for that, oh yes you do! You feel l-like the war wouldn't be happening if you had just stopped and seen the signs that Megatronus was becoming just as tyrannical as the Towersmecha that both of you had promised to overthrow!"

Optimus's optics widened.

Ratchet growled and continued. "No, no no no, you failed to redeem Megatron, so you said to yourself, 'I'll just redeem the next best thing,' and then in comes _Starscream, _the next best thing. T-this mech, this _creature _responsible for so much death, but you felt he was worth redeeming because oh, he's not _quite _as bad as M-Megatron is!"

Starscream's wing fell and he held his plating tight to his frame. "Optimus, _stop him! _"

Optimus looked down at Starscream and his gaze softened.

"You know I'm right! Deep down, you _alllll_ know that!" Ratchet shouted.

Optimus turned his gaze back to Ratchet and his field hardened around him again. "Ratchet—"

"A-and you feel _good _about having saved him, y'know that? You feel a big swell of pride in your field every time you manage to teach him to be a slightly less terrible person. He's your trophy, your scarred one-winged trophy you drag around c-cause _hey _—"

"That is _enough _."

"—he's second-best and helping him helps assuage your guilt over failing Megatron! Which, by the way, if you had just bothered to listen to my warnings back when you were still just Orion, then maybe you could've stopped Megatron's rampage and the eventual darkening of Cybertron—"

Ratchet began to encroach upon Optimus and Starscream. Bulkhead jumped forward and pulled the angry medic away.

"Ratch, Ratch, calm your cogs!"

"The time for calm is over and the time for action has come. I'm empowered now, you know that? I'm strong now. I no longer h-have to sit by and listen to you preen your pet! I'm taking action and my first action will be to _get rid of him—" _

Optimus rushed forward and slammed Ratchet up against the work desk. He held him back with his servos and the two mechs locked optics with one another. Optimus's stern blue optics stared down at Ratchet's angry and vivid-green ones.

Starscream stood frozen and watched the two Autobots stare each other down.

Ratchet blinked up at Optimus. "You're hurting me."

Optimus looked down. His grasp upon Ratchet's arms was so tight that his digits had left faint imprints behind in the metal of the medic's arms.

Optimus recoiled as if burned and shakily stepped back from Ratchet. He suddenly turned around and looked right at Starscream.

"Er," Starscream said as the Prime's intense gaze fixed onto him. "What are you doing—?"

Optimus gently grabbed onto Starscream's shoulder and steered the frightened Seeker over to the groundbridge. He tapped in a set of coordinates into the computer console, took one last look at Ratchet behind him, and then pulled Starscream through the new groundbridge that opened up.

The last thing Starscream saw was the angry green gaze of Ratchet.

* * *

_Starscream's spark pulsed in his chestplates. He ran across the cold campus grounds and under the watchful glow of the Academy's high towers. His HUD told him that his energon and energy levels were low and that he needed to recharge, but he just couldn't. Not until he found Skyfire. _

_"Frag, where are you?!" Starscream shouted into his comm. Static crackled in return. His wings fluttered agitatedly and he turned in a wide circle and whimpered as he looked out over the vast expanse of the campus grounds. Skyfire was big but the campus was much bigger. _

_Skyfire was more responsible than this. He never spent too much time out in the city, ever. He was just supposed to meet up with an old friend from Vos out in Iacon, not just completely vanish. Yet that was what had happened. _

_Maybe he just ran into trouble. That wasn't uncommon, he was a shuttle in a city of xenophobic grounders after all. _

_Starscream skid around another corner and ran down a wide and deserted street. But Skyfire had always returned to Starscream after his rare excursions into the city—sometimes bruised, sometimes beaten, but he'd always returned nevertheless. Until today, that is. _

_"What happened to you?" Starscream harshly whispered into the dead comm. No, something had happened to Skyfire. He just needed to figure out what. _

_A bright red light lit up behind him. Starscream felt a chill go down his spinal strut and turned around. The bright red visor of an Enforcer glowed hot in the night and stared him down. Another Enforcer stepped into view and the two of them stood and stared at Starscream as they both stood in front of a door. _

_The first Enforcer pointed at the door. _

_Starscream gulped. "You want me to...?" _

_Their visors flashed. _

_"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" _

_Starscream walked past their watchful gaze and through the door and into one of the labs. The door shut with a clang behind him and the only light in the room came from a bright green vial of synth-en. Starscream's optics adjusted to the darkness and he instinctively stepped back in fear. His wings clanged against the now-shut door and he glared at the synth-en and the mech who had it in his grasp. _

_"Don't you have better things to do than harass scientists?" Starscream grit out. _

_Sentinel hummed and continued to stare at the synth-en as he held it up into the air. "Plenty of things. But I am not harassing you. I am helping you." _

_"Where is Skyfire?" _

_Sentinel continued to stare right at the synth-en and didn't even bother to glance at Starscream. "Who?" _

_The urge to cower was strong but his urge to find Skyfire was stronger. Starscream took a deep vent and marched right up to the Prime. _

_"My partner!" _

_"Ohhh, the shuttle. He's ours now." _

_Starscream's energon froze in his lines. "What… what does that mean?" _

_Sentinel finally turned and looked at Starscream for the first time. "I think you already know what that means, Seeker." _

_"Give him back," Starscream whimpered. He tried to make his voice sound intimidating but it came out as desperate. _

_"Do you not wish to further the glory of Cybertron? If you continue to hoard your magnificent creation then I am afraid the Academy will have no choice but to expel you and your greedy shuttle friend." _

_Starscream's wings flared. "You can't do that, we've worked too hard for this and…" _

_Sentinel raised an optical ridge. "And what? Take your time, warframe." _

_Starscream dragged his talons down his faceplate as he began to shake. They'd worked too hard to just end up having all of their progress snatched away by the Prime. But he couldn't work with this mech, he just couldn't. This was Sentinel, the oppressor, the functionist—but also Skyfire's last hope. _

_Maybe the Prime was right. Maybe Starscream was being greedy. Yes, the synth-en was dangerous at the moment, but if Sentinel gave him the time and equipment necessary to fix it then Starscream and Skyfire could ensure that there would never be another energon shortage again. _

_"I…" _

_Skyfire would hate him for this. The shuttle was not a hateful mech but he would find it within his spark to hate him for allying with Sentinel. But if that was what Starscream had to do in order to save all of their hard work and accomplish their dreams, then so be it. _

_"If I don't join you, what will you do to him?" _

_"We will return the shuttle to his rightful place in life. He will deliver cargo like the rest of his kind." _

_"He's not transportation, he's a person!" Starscream snarled. His entire frame shook as a million thoughts raced through his helm. "Promise me you won't hurt him if I join you. Promise. Me." _

_Sentinel sighed. "Fine then. The misfit shuttle can continue to pursue his delusions of grandeur if that is what it takes to acquire your cooperation." He smiled_ _and clapped a servo over Starscream's shaky shoulder. "Good! It is nice to see that there is some intelligence and rationality in that warframe processor of yours. We will have you improve some weapons for us, oh yes, and help us run some… experiments." _

_Sentinel's grip on his shoulder tightened and he led Starscream down hall after hall. Starscream pressed his plating flat to his frame and followed Sentinel farther and farther into the hidden halls of the Academy. He was making the right decision, he knew he was. But why did the right decisions always have to be so hard to make? _

_They passed through hidden corridors Starscream had no idea even existed. Strange technology and weapons covered the wall. They walked past a large and half-finished fusion cannon. _

_"Oh, is this what you wanted me to fix?" _

_Sentinel's smile faltered for a moment. "That is for later, little Seeker. We have other experiments to do for now." _

_They both arrived at a tall door and Sentinel kindly smiled and pushed it open. Starscream looked through it and his spark sank. _

_"Why is there a medical berth here?" _

_"Why wouldn't there be?" Sentinel said as he led Starscream into the room. Scientists he had never seen before stood all around the berth and stared right at him. _

_"You said that I would help you with the experiments, so where are they?" Starscream said. He looked over his shoulder at the door. It wasn't too late to run, he could still escape— _

_But if he escaped then Skyfire never would. _

_One of the Enforcers shut the door with a boom. _

_"I did not lie. This is the experiment," Sentinel said as he stood beside the berth. "You are the experiment." _

_"What?! No, no no no!" Starscream whimpered. He'd heard what Sentinel said earlier, he knew that the Prime was intending on testing the synth-en out on a warframe—but somehow it had never occurred to him that _he _would be the test subject. Starscream rapidly shook his helm back and forth and pointed his talon at Sentinel. "This isn't what I agreed to!" _

_"But it is, Starscream. It is. And if you choose to not be our test subject, then, well, I suppose the shuttle will have to take your place." He held up the vial of synth-en as a scientist with a needle drew near. _

_He needed to do this for Skyfire. Starscream turned and looked back longingly at the door. It would be so easy to kick it down and run away as if that would somehow solve his problems. One day he would make the Council and Sentinel pay for all of this. One day. But he was just one mech. No, Starscream would need help and would have to achieve his revenge after finding like-minded bots to stand beside him. He knew they were out there. _

_He just needed to find them. _

_Skyfire. He had to do this for Skyfire, not Sentinel. _

_Starscream shuffled up to the medberth and stared at the synth-en. "Will it h-hurt?" _

_Sentinel shrugged. "I cannot guarantee that. So let's get started, shall we?" _

_Starscream shakily climbed into the medical berth and pretended that it was Skyfire who stood over him and not Sentinel. _

_Skyfire, Skyfire, Skyfire— _

_Something pricked his arm and all he saw was green. _

* * *

A blast of dry air hit Starscream's frame the moment he stepped out of the groundbridge. Bright orange canyon walls rose up into the sky all around him. A jolt of familiarity struck him as he looked up at the starry sky beyond the canyon's sheer walls.

"Optimus, is this the place you rescued me in?" Starscream began to ask. Optimus still tightly gripped his servo and continued to guide him forward across the rocky ground. He kept his back to the Seeker and Starscream couldn't see his faceplate, but Starscream could still tell that the Prime was distressed.

"No. This is not the canyon I unburied you in. This is just a location we needed to scout anyway."

Optimus's field was normally calm and steady, but not anymore. It fizzled and popped around him and shuddered with the weight of hidden emotions. Starscream remained silent and stared at the back of Optimus's helm. He could count on one talon the amount of times he'd seen Optimus be distressed like this.

His own spark continued to pulse in his chestplates. He'd known that the medic was upset with his presence, yes, but Starscream had never thought that the medic would ever act out like that.

Why would Ratchet _do _that? Did the grumpy Autobot just not understand the vital importance of serving your leader at all times? You were always supposed to obey your leader, _always, _even if you disagreed with them.

"That, right there, is the problem," Optimus said suddenly. He stopped walking and turned to look over at Starscream.

Starscream froze. "Er, did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, and perhaps that is my fault," Optimus said. He stared up at the starry sky and narrowed his optics up at the distant patch of stars Cybertron was in.

"And how is my inability to control my own glossa somehow your problem?" Starscream scoffed. His tone came out more sarcastic and mocking than he intended it to, but he couldn't help it. His frame vibrated with energy as feelings of indignation soaked into his field. How dare that upstart medic accuse Prime of such selfish ambitions for saving him!

"Perhaps it is my fault that you constantly feel a subconscious need to vocalize your innermost private thoughts out loud. I know why you constantly talk out loud by accident," Optimus said. He turned around to face the Seeker. Starscream instinctively flinched back at the sudden movement.

The two mechs just stood there in silence.

"That flinch you just made… _that _is part of the reason you always vocalize your thoughts," Optimus said.

"You're not making any sense! Enough with the riddles!"

"There are no riddles here. Just the clear truth. You are worried that I will grow distrustful of you the same way Megatron grew distrustful of you. You constantly speak your private thoughts out loud because you feel this need to prove to us—to _me _—that you are not scheming and that you're being honest and open. You are terrified that we will begin to see you as a treacherous and untrustworthy mech, so you subconsciously tell us your thought processes. And you _hate _this because you hate sharing your thoughts with the world, but you cannot help it because your deep-rooted instincts of total obedience take over your processor when you are stressed."

Silence fell again.

Starscream stared at the desert floor. "I don't like you that much right now," he said softly. "Did I say _that _out loud?"

"Yes. Ratchet is partly correct in that it is my fault that this keeps happening to you. I have understood the reason you vocalize your thoughts out loud for quite a long time now but never approached you about it because I was waiting for the right time to do so. Perhaps… " A dozen emotions flickered across his faceplate. "Perhaps I secretly enjoyed having a bot under my control—"

"No."

Optimus blinked. "Excuse me?"

Starscream stomped his pedes and flared his wing. "No! You don't get to stand there and mope, okay? Because you're the most morally righteous bot I have ever met and there is no need for you to mope about your crimes. Because why? Because you haven't committed any! Don't guilt yourself just because some grumpy old cog got high and decided to mouth off at you!"

Optimus sighed and shook his helm. "I fled. But not only that, I decided to take you with me. That will only prove Ratchet's theory that you are my… trophy… correct."

"Excuse _me, _" Starscream said as he fluttered his wing, "but I am no one's trophy."

"You were Megatron's," Optimus said softly. "You were a symbol that represented his ability to oppress and control his own soldiers."

"Hmmpf," Starscream snorted. "Eh, that does sound about right. But even if Ratchet is right, even if I am _your _trophy, I am… ugh… proud to be so. If what Ratchet said was true… if you really did just save me just so that you could lug me around and say, 'look at this Seeker I rescued,' then is that really a bad thing? I am proud to be your success story."

A small smile appeared on Optimus's faceplate. "I suppose you are right. But still..."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Oh, you're the most self-sacrificial bot out there, you know that? You're a good bot, Optimus, and you're much better than I am or will ever be."

"I am not so sure about that," Optimus hummed. "You are rapidly improving despite your recent relapse."

"Uhh, let's not discuss that." Starscream knew that the Prime would confront him about his recent distancing behavior sooner or later, yes, but Starscream had hoped it wouldn't be like this.

They walked forward through the ashen and boulder-ridden landscape. Starscream frowned at the sight of the canyon around them. He didn't care much for this backwater planet, but he could definitely recognize that this canyon wasn't natural.

"Is this one of my mines?" Starscream asked.

The two of them turned around a corner and saw a bunch of rusted over drills and mining equipment.

Starscream's wing fell. "I remember this place," he said. He'd torn so many holes into this planet's crust that now he couldn't even remember many of the mines he'd made. Starscream looked out over the scarred and barren landscape pock-marked with holes from the mining that had taken place in it.

"There does not seem to be any energon left here," Optimus frowned.

"This was my fault."

Optimus turned and looked at him as concern filled his field.

"Starscream…"

"It's my fault that this place is a ruin," Starscream said as he slid down into the ruins of the abandoned mine and walked underneath a rusty drill. "When I made this mine I didn't care much for the damage I caused when I made it. I just… dug."

"Yes. You did not have any concern for the consequences of your actions back then. But you understand the consequences now."

Starscream glared up at the drill that loomed over him. "Did you bring us here to this canyon because it reminded you of the one you rescued me in?"

Optimus paused under the drill and looked up at it with wide optics. "Perhaps. There are not many things I am sentimental about. I suppose that canyon is one of those things, though."

Starscream clenched his talons into fists. "Everything is my fault, isn't it? Maybe he's right."

"No."

"Yes! What happened to Bulkhead was my fault and what happened to this land is also my fault. I blew this place to bits and I'm sick and tired of constantly running into all of the remnants of my past mistakes." Starscream groaned and rested his forehelm against the jagged and rusted surface of the drill. He kicked it with his pede and the entire drill shuddered.

Optimus's optics widened. "Starscream?"

"Can I just mope for a couple of minutes? A two-minute long mope period, _please—?" _

Optimus jumped forward and shoved Starscream out of the way as something cracked overhead. Starscream fell hard into the dirt and coughed dust out of his intake as he turned and looked back up at Prime. "Why did you do that?!"

His voice died in his intake. The ground before him was now covered in energon, and not the good kind. Starscream blinked and slowly looked up. His spark sank once he saw just whose energon it was. Optimus's field rippled in pain and he stared grimly down at the sharp tip of the drill that was now embedded in his abdomen.

"I… I didn't mean to make it snap off, oh Primus!" Starscream whimpered as he ran up to Optimus. "Oh, _frag! _I just went and ruined everything again, didn't I? I shouldn't have kicked it, I shouldn't have_—_"

Optimus winced and held the gash in his side. "No, you did not ruin anything."

"Look at yourself!" Starscream hyperventilated. A cold blast of wind shook the air and a green glow appeared farther down in the canyon.

A distant boom thudded through the air as a groundbridge opened up far away.

_"Optimus?" _Ratchet's voice called.

Starscream scowled. "Of all the Autobots to come marching through, it just had to be _him _—"

Optimus reached out and tightly grabbed onto Starscream's shoulder. "It is tempting to lower yourself to his level. Do not allow yourself to become as angry and blind as Ratchet is at the moment. Rise above him."

"I'm already angry!"

"Rise above him. _Rise. _"

_"Optimus, where are you?!" _Bumblebee shouted.

Starscream dragged his talon down his faceplate. "Fine, fine, okay!"

"You are _not _second best, do you understand that?"

"What? Now is not the time for an emotional chat! Tourniquet now, chat later!" Starscream whimpered.

Optimus sat down heavily as energon leaked out from under the servo he kept held over his wound. He reached out and tightly gripped Starscream's shoulder. "But do you understand that?"

The sound of an ambulance siren pierced the air.

"Um…"

_"Do you understand that you are not second best?" _

"Primus, Prime! I…" Starscream stuttered. He should just say yes and get this over with in order to sate the Prime. "Yes, of course I know that!"

Optimus blearily narrowed his optics. "Do you really? I know when you are lying to both me and to yourself."

"I am _not lying! _"

"Stop thinking of yourself as second-best to Megatron. You were not the first mech I tried to redeem, no. But you just might end up being the most _important _mech I've redeemed."

Starscream's jaw dropped. He and the Prime just stared at each other as the wind whistled through the canyon and as the old drills creaked and groaned all around them. Optimus's optics flickered and Starscream stared down at the Prime's wound in horror. It was so much worse than he first thought, so much _bigger _than he first realized.

"Optimus…"

Somebody transformed and the sound of their pedes pounded towards them. Ratchet skidded around the corner with the rest of the Autobots behind him. His bright green optics widened at the sight of Starscream knelt over Optimus's frame.

"You…" Ratchet said as he began to shake. "You _bastard! _"

Bumblebee lunged forward and held Ratchet back. _"Calm down, calm down! We know better than this! You know better than this! We've already been through a disaster like this once, we cannot afford to relive it!" _

Ratchet shakily pointed his servo right at Starscream. "I know what happened. Optimus sacrificed himself for you, didn't he? He put himself in harm's way for _your _sake. This is your fault!"

Starscream instinctively shuffled back and spread his wing over Optimus's frame. "Oh, frag you! I've had enough of your temper tantrums!"

"Starscream…" Optimus wheezed. He reached up and grabbed on tightly to Starscream's energon-covered talon. "Rise above him."

"I…"

Optimus's optics flickered and his field shuddered confusedly around him. "You're better than this, I know you are, Megatronus—"

Optimus stopped talking. His optics widened.

"Oh, no no no, forget you said that!" Starscream shrieked.

"I called you by his old n-name," Optimus whispered to himself as horror filled his field. "Ratchet was right. I _am _trying to replace him with you."

Starscream rapidly shook his helm. "I am no placeholder!"

"Y-yet you have taken his place, nevertheless."

Ratchet shook his helm. "I don't want you walking, Prime. I have no idea how deep your wound goes." He turned and glared at Starscream. "And I also have no idea how deep your treachery goes, either."

Bumblebee and Bulkhead both helped Optimus rise to his pedes and helped support the Prime. Starscream whimpered at the sight of the spilt energon all along Optimus's side. He felt a pair of optics on his back and slowly turned around. Ratchet glared at him and his field shuddered around him with rage.

He walked right past the traumatized Seeker and went up to Optimus and sighed. "You'll be fine. But getting hurt is all your fault!"

Starscream's jaw dropped as Ratchet turned and stomped through the bridge. Starscream growled and his wing flared as he chased after the medic and ran through the bridge after him.

* * *

"Oh, stop being an idiot!" Starscream snarled as he stomped through the bridge and back into the main room.

Ratchet stood frozen up ahead and didn't react at all.

Starscream rolled his optics. He was _not _the kind of mech you could just ignore. He'd been ignored enough by Megatron and there was no way he would let some upstart medic begin to mouth off at him and ignore him now.

Starscream stepped forward and right in front of Ratchet. "Your behaviour is completely unacceptable! How could you say that to Optimus?"

Ratchet's wide green optics continued to stare ahead into space. His plating twitched and his field shuddered around him, but otherwise he remained still. Starscream frowned and waved his talons in front of his faceplate.

"Oh slag, Ratch has lost it for good!" Bulkhead grunted as he helped Bumblebee guide Optimus into the base. Optimus looked at both Starscream and Ratchet as he was carried by.

"Listen to me, Ratchet," Optimus wheezed. "Listen to me, _listen— _"

Ratchet continued to stare into space. Bumblebee and Bulkhead carried Optimus by and he looked over his shoulder at his frozen friend as he was carried off into the medbay.

The stench of Prime's spilt energon infused the air and made Starscream shudder. That was not a normal smell, that was the _wrong_ smell. He'd spent so many years revelling in the smell of spilt Autobot energon and now all that smell did was make him feel sick to his core. He stumbled back and leaned heavily against the mezzanine as Ratchet continued to stare blankly into space.

"You need to fix him," Starscream said hoarsely. "I know that you just threw a fit and that y-you're angry at him, but Ratchet… _you need to fix him. _"

Ratchet's plating twitched. He said nothing.

_"Slag it!" _Starscream shouted. He shot back up to his pedes and pointed his talon right at Ratchet's faceplate. "You couldn't shut up earlier and now in the moment when you're really needed, you decide to go silent? Really?!"

"Calm down, calm down," Arcee said as she ran up to them and put herself between the two mechs. "Just… just breathe. Relax."

Starscream's helm snapped around to look at her. "Breathe? Relax? Do I look like the kind of mech who can relax? I haven't relaxed in thousands of years and I can't relax now, no, especially now that there is someone who is repeating my mistakes!"

Arcee's optics widened.

"Er." Starscream fluttered his wing. "You did not hear that."

"I did," Arcee said softly.

A familiar and achy feeling descended over Starscream's spark. Exhaustion. Not the kind of exhaustion that spreads through your limbs and wings after a hard flight, but the kind of exhaustion that settles upon you after you've had a hard life.

_"Ratch?" _Bulkhead shouted from the medbay.

"What's wrong with Ratchet?" Arcee asked.

Starscream opened his intake to respond, but then shut it. He knew precisely what was happening to Ratchet, oh yes, he'd even been a victim of this madness himself once. But to finally say that out loud, to finally knowledge and admit that the reason he knew of this madness was because _he created it— _

Arcee stared at him with shock in her field. Maybe he'd said that out loud. Maybe he did not. Maybe Optimus was right and deep down he was still paranoid and obsessed with pleasing everybody and proving his loyalty.

"The synth-en is consuming the normal energon in his frame. He will act… erratically."

Ratchet twitched and began to awkwardly stumble forward. He stared wide-opticed at a sight that only he could see as he shakily stretched his servo out to the air. "Come back, come back," he moaned.

"Oh, that's it. Now he's seeing scrap!" Starscream sighed.

"Come back to me, come _back _."

Arcee's winglets rose cautiously. "Do something. You said you understood this, so then use your understanding of what's going on to fix this!"

Ratchet continued to stumble forward. Not towards the medbay, but towards the groundbridge.

Arcee's field flared in alarm. "The controls, the controls—"

Starscream took a deep vent—hoped the medic wouldn't decide to lash out and kill him—and lunged forward. He wrapped his arms around Ratchet and held him from behind as he yanked the disoriented medic away from the groundbridge.

"W-what are you even doing?!" Ratchet grunted as Starscream pulled him back.

"Helping!"

"By grappling me?" Ratchet shouted as they both collided with a work desk.

"By stopping you from making a mistake! You're hallucinating!" Starscream grit out.

"Oh, you would know a lot about making mistakes, wouldn't you Starscream?"

Starscream's field flared. He forced Ratchet to his knees and stood over Ratchet and held the angry medic's shoulders down with his talons. Ratchet glared up at him. He knew he should look him in the optic, but he wasn't sure if he could handle the sight of those vivid green optics again. Something blue shone out of the corner of his vision and Starscream stared at Optimus's spilt energon on the floor.

"Look me in the o-optic. Stop looking away from me like a coward and look me in the faceplate!"

The urge to just dig his talons into the medic's shoulders and slash them to bits was so so strong. He saw something blue out of the corner of his vision though and Starscream looked behind him with wide optics.

"Optimus?" he whispered.

Arcee stood there grimly. "Just me," she said quietly. "Just you. Just us, the only bots who can fix this."

Starscream took deep vents and resisted the urge to extend his talons. Optimus wouldn't want him to hurt him. He had to think like Optimus.

"Let this be the end of this feud." He wanted this to be over and just wanted to take this one terrible day and sweep its failures under the rug so that he could crawl back into his room.

Ratchet's optics flared. "Y-you, you little—"

"Do not drink anymore ever again. _Ever. _"

Ratchet's field thrashed and roiled angrily around him.

Starscream tightened his grip. "Promise me that this will be the end of this feud! It's what Optimus would want."

Ratchet leaned back, made optic contact with Starscream, green optics met dim and tired red ones—

"You don't know what Optimus wants."

Starscream's spark sank. Arcee buried her helm in her servos.

Why did he expect otherwise? His life was just a long string of disappointments, so why did he think that everything would go right for once?

_"Ratchet, come on!" _Bumblebee shouted from the medbay.

"Then what does Prime want?" Starscream hissed out. He should just step back and leave the mech alone, but he couldn't help it. There was a small and cruel and vengeful side to him that wanted to rip the medic apart and analyze him so that he could _break_ him.

He took a deep vent. That angry vengeful part of him needed to die. But for now it would get to live on just a little longer.

Ratchet grumbled and stared at the floor.

"No, what do you actually mean by that? What does Prime actually want?!" Starscream hissed again.

Ratchet looked up at him. "He wants you. And not me."

Starscream blinked. "What...what does that even _mean? _"

"It means," Ratchet took a deep vent, "that you are blind. He's got a hole in his spark and he thinks he can fix it by cramming you into it."

Starscream's jaw dropped. "Uh… I don't know what that means."

Ratchet snorted. "Oh, of course you don't."

"I don't know what you mean by all of this 'hole in the spark' nonsense, but what I do know is that Optimus has a very real and very urgent hole in his _body. _So then _fix him. _"

Ratchet growled. "I'm not done with you yet, I'm not even close to being done with you!"

Starscream offlined his optics and took a deep vent. He'd already made so many enemies over the years. What was one more?

"I wouldn't want it any other way, medic."

Ratchet extracted himself from Starscream and glared at the Seeker before he turned and ran into the medbay. Starscream stood there in the main room and just stared at the doorway to the medbay. Arcee shuffled up beside him and the two of them both stared at the droplets of Optimus's energon spilt onto the floor.

She sighed. "Starscream…"

He turned and walked down the halls of the base and into his room.

* * *

_"I am so very proud of you," Sentinel said. Sentinel. Right. That was who was in front of him. _

_He smelled smoke behind him and turned his helm to see. Sentinel gripped his helm and forced him to look right ahead. Sentinel didn't want him to see something, but what? _

_The synth-en made it hard to think. The synth-en made it very very hard to do many many things—but it did make him good at some things. Violent things. He twitched his talons. They were covered in something wet. Maybe not energon. That's what he hoped for at least. Oh, Skyfire. _

_Starscream placed a shaky servo on Sentinel's arm. "What h-happened? What did I do?" _

_Sentinel shook his helm. "No need to worry yourself over that." _

_"Over w-what?" Starscream shook out. The synth-en was still within him, still within his frame and his processor and his spark. Everything was tinged hot vivid green. He felt like there was now a green fire in his spark that was keeping him alive but also burning him alive. _

_"G-get it out," Starscream slurred. Something wet dripped from his talons. Maybe energon. Hopefully his and not someone else's _

_"Get what out?" Sentinel said so so softly. _

_The Prime pretended not to know what Starscream meant, but somehow he knew that Prime knew exactly what he meant. _

_"Out. Of me. The synth-en," Starscream said. There was that smell again, all hot and acidic that reeked of death—he'd done something while under the influence of the synth-en, something bad, but what did he even do? He couldn't quite remember. He just remembered the screaming. _

_"Don't worry," Sentinel said. Worry flared in Starscream's spark. His vision grew blurrier and his consciousness faded back into the green fog. It was easier to sit back and let the synth-en take control. It did his thinking for him. _

_It did his killing for him. _

* * *

Starscream sat in the rafters again. Maybe if he offlined his optics and didn't think a single thought then just maybe he would be able to cease to exist. He couldn't find peace, though. Not today. The pulse of his own sparkbeat thrummed in his chestplate. It didn't make any sense. He shouldn't be scared of the medic, he shouldn't—

Pedesteps echoed down the hall. He peered over the edge of the rafter and saw a pair of green optics shine in the dark below.

His spark pulsed again. That vile shade of green, that wretched color, that—

He took a deep vent. The past was the past and there was no need to dwell on his many past mistakes concerning the synth-en. Ratchet walked by as he muttered, completely unaware of the terrified Seeker right up above him in the rafters.

Starscream took a deep vent. He needed to end this right here and right now, regardless of his fear. He leaped down from the rafters as gracefully as he could and followed Ratchet down the hall. The medic ducked into a side-room and Starscream followed. A nervous energy arose in his spark, the kind of nervousness that you feel when on the verge of doing something that will either make your life better or so much worse.

He looked through the doorway and froze. The bright green glow of synth-en spilled out of the lab and into the hall. Ratchet stood there and held a vial of the synth-en up in his servos. His entire frame shuddered and he slowly and carefully unscrewed the lid.

Starscream lunged. He leaped forward with his talons extended, he was going to smash the synth-en and spill it and ruin it so that it could never hurt anybody ever again—

Ratchet jerked at the last moment and the tips of Starscream's talons grazed the air as he fell forward. Starscream fell hard onto the floor and scowled up at Ratchet.

Ratchet looked down at him—

_—Megatron looked down at him, a scowl on his faceplate and said— _

"What have you done?"

"I did what I had to do!" Starscream shouted.

_—Megatron snarled, his optics flared, and then he pointed his talon right at Starscream and— _

Ratchet pointed his shaky digit at Starscream. Starscream flinched.

"What, do you seriously think that you deserve to be a part of the Autobot's legacy? True Autobots don't destroy, but that's exactly what you tried to do. Oh, I know what you did! I know how you tried to destroy your own masterpiece back then! You created something beautiful, brilliant, and amazing!"

"And something very very dangerous. There's a reason my partner and I hid our knowledge and work away."

Ratchet's green optics flared and another burst of fear shot through Starscream's spark. "Ohoho, you mean this work?" he said as he picked up a metal plate with an equation scrawled onto it.

Starscream flinched. He'd recognize Bulkhead's scrawl anywhere. The faint and small words of a relived memory log were shakily painted onto the metal.

"No, you had a powerful tool you could've used to stop the war before it even began. To stop all of this suffering before it even began," Ratchet breathed. He stared off into space with wide optics. Starscream knew that look well. He'd seen that same wistful facial expression on the faceplates of so many bots who yearned to return home and who knew that they probably never would.

Starscream took a deep vent. Maybe there was hope after all. If he could just reach out to the medic and make him see reason...

Ratchet stomped towards Starscream—

_—Megatrons stomped towards him, accusingly, loudly, angrily, and said— _

_"This is your fault!" _

Starscream yelped and scrambled out into the main hall. His back collided with the concrete wall behind him and he leaped out of the way of Ratchet as the medic stomped towards him.

He could lunge, he could sink his talons into this upstart wretch's plating and make him bleed out the synth-en he held so dearly.

The image of Optimus's pained faceplate flashed back into his processor.

_"Rise,"_ Optimus had said as he bled out from the wound that he received while rescuing Starscream. There had been so much blood.

He had to do what Optimus wanted. And Optimus wanted him to be kind—no matter how hard it was.

"Ratchet, calm down!"

He stopped and just looked at him and the two mechs just stared at each other. Then Ratchet laughed. It was a loud and shrill and pained noise that made Starscream resist the urge to clap his talons over his audials. Ratchet encroached again and Starscream had to walk backwards in order to stay away from the angry medic.

"You had everything. You were a Seeker in Vos, you never had to descend from your lofty towers, yet you did. But why? To antagonize us? To fool us into t-thinking that you're some weak and helpless victim?"

"I fooled nobody! I don't lie anymore!" Starscream growled.

"That's what cowards always say, yes. When confronted about why they cower, they hide the truth behind more cowardice. Y-you always knelt before Megatron, and you claim to have hated it, but some part of me thinks that maybe you enjoyed bowing before him. Do you t-think you can make up for what you did? Do you really think that apologizing will somehow make up for stealing the life from Cliffjumper's frame?"

Starscream froze and held his breath in his vents.

"You do think that, don't you? Don't lie. T-this war started because of bots like you, bots with no foresight, bots who saw something shiny and pretty in front of them and just snatched it up. You joined Megatron because you wanted the shiny title of second-in-command, don't lie, and you never were able to see past his shiny lies."

"If you think you can intimidate me, then you're wrong. I have been brought low by some of the greatest mechs to walk Cybertron. You're nothing compared to them. If I could handle M-megatron then I can handle you! What is even happening to you?" Starscream said. He tried to make his voice sound strong but couldn't help but shake out Megatron's name. Ratchet was nothing compared to the warlord or the old Prime, he was nothing—

But there was something familiar, something very very familiar about the way Ratchet angrily stomped forward with those green-tinted optics like some monster. Once upon a time, Starscream had been the monster.

"You know what's happening to me! Every once in a while s-somebody will get sick of you and call you out for it! It's a cycle and I'm just the latest bot to come in and tear you apart. I a-am not the first bot to tell you what a failure you are and I won't be the next."

"And who is the next?"

"Prime."

"He won't betray me!"

"You're right. He won't betray you. You'll betray yourself. You're t-too stupid to realize when you've got something good going on in your life so you don't even realize what you have until you've thrown it away.

"I do not throw things away—"

"You've thrown away so many opportunities to kill Megatron! A-and you claim that you failed because Megatron sabotaged you or because Soundwave sabotaged or because sheer chance itself sabotaged you—but we both know that you're the true saboteur in your life. How many times have you stood over him with your talons extended, ready to stab his spark out the same way you did Clifjumper's, and then hesitated? Ohohoho, you c-claim to hate this war and want it to end, b-but you had so many opportunities to end it, but you didn't! You like the war, you need the war, because violent bots like you need war like a plant needs water because it helps you grow even _more_ v-violent."

Starscream scowled. He should just run to his room, lock the door, and hug his hidden energon tight to his chest as he prayed for Optimus's recovery. He tried to move his pedes—

But just couldn't bring himself to walk away. Maybe the medic was right and he really did just want to start a fight, or maybe Starscream saw something of himself in those green optics. He took a deep vent. No, he was going to stay here in this dark hall with this insane mech and face him down. He wouldn't prove him right.

"This is pointless," he scoffed.

"Exactly. Pointless. Y-you'll learn nothing from this! I'll fix your wing, but not because I like you. I want to see you fly far _far_ away."

Starscream pointed his talon right at Ratchet's chestplate. "You're projecting. You're angry about the war and the Decepticons so you've decided to make the local ex-con your target. But you're not going to get a bullseye on me!"

"I already have! I already hurt you where you're most sensitive!"

"Oh, really?" Starscream crossed his arms and rolled his optics. "Where?"

"Optimus. He's now the number-one thing you're most sensitive about."

Starscream's optics twitched. "You hurt him," he hissed out. "He was so broken by your words."

"He's already broken and he thinks that he can use a S-seeker to glue himself back together… Why didn't you see who he truly was?"

"Oh, who are you harping on about now? Megatron or Optimus?"

"Both! W-why didn't you see what a monster Megatron was or what a hero Optimus was? Y-you only began to appreciate him and see him as the hero he was once he had something to offer you!"

"Let me correct you. You just said that Optimus 'was' a hero. He still is one." He should turn around and check on Prime and should just sit beside Optimus and sleep the whole night by the unconscious's Prime's side. Ratchet would never hurt him if he were right beside his beloved Prime. A bitter laugh rose out of Starscream. He was so weak now that even a sleeping mech could shield him.

"Optimus is not on my list of heroes as of right now, no. No mech who harbors murderers is a hero on my list," Ratchet grumbled.

"You don't mean that. He's a hero to you and always will be, slag it! You're all murderers too!"

"But we never got our own cities killed."

Starscream's optics widened and he stepped back. Ratchet's green optics widened as well and he took a deep vent. For just a single moment a tinge of an emotion snuck into his field—but then the rage returned and the hidden emotion vanished in a haze of static.

"Why didn't you see what kind of bot Megatron was?"

Starscream heard his sparkbeat in his own audials. He needed to ignore what Ratchet said, just ignore it, ignore it, because once he thought of Vos again he'd fall into a hole again he couldn't get out of—

"He said all the right words to me."

"A-and I bet that's what Optimus did to you too, huh? He went up to you and just said all the right words, didn't he?"

"He spoke the truth in the cave."

"I don't know what happened in that cave. But what I do know is that you caved in before him because he was the first mech in eons to pity you a-and you liked that! You like his soft and sad gazes and his softer words."

"...Maybe I do. What's wrong with that?!"

Ratchet laughed. "You enjoy being pitied because you know that you're such an unlikable bot that pity is the only way to get somebody to like you. That's why you cower, because what's more pitiable than a cowering little abused mech?"

"Are you implying that I was _acting?_"

"Wouldn't be the first time you pretended to be something you weren't. Y-you pretended to want justice."

"I still want that," Starscream said softly. It was a distant and lofty dream that grew loftier as time went on, but it was still a dream nevertheless, a faint feeling of hope that burned like a dim flame in the back of his spark.

"If you really wanted justice you would've stayed far away from us and let us bring justice under our own power. Instead you just decided you had to be a part of your lives and decided to just barge in and make Bulkhead's processor rot away." Ratchet's optics rapidly dimmed and brightened and his entire frame convulsed as if in pain.

"I didn't barge in here. I was carried in here," Starscream grit out. He still remembered the way Optimus had lifted him up as his world fell down around him. "I'm trying to distance myself from you all in order to protect you, don't you see that?! D-don't you see how utterly terrified I am of Optimus's processor rotting away too?"

"It's already begun to rot. Because of you."

"Do not bring Prime back into this mess! He's not rotten, he's perfect and—"

"Optimus is a _part_ of the mess. Your mess. This mess that _you_ created. Don't lie and say that it was Optimus who did all the work, that it was because of Optimus alone that you chose to come back to base. I bet you flung yourself at him, I b-bet deep down you wanted to come back to base to see if you could find a new group of bots you could t-trick into pitying you."

"I'm not something to be pitied."

"I don't pity you, but you're still oh so pitiful nevertheless. Do you seriously think you're Megatron's only victim?!"

Starscream rapidly blinked his optics as they began to sting.

Too much. Too much. Starscream turned around and began to walk back to his room. Ratchet followed after him. That same small emotion from earlier suddenly reappeared in Ratchet's angry field, but then vanished just as quickly as it had come.

"Do you? We've all suffered under his wrath, but who does Optimus choose to comfort. You. Not the bots who have been through his side and thick and thin, oh no, he has a new favorite pet, a new little Seeker who tremors at the slightest mention of that warlord's name and now that Seeker is the priority."

"I don't tremor!"

"You do and you don't even realize it. You tremor and shake and flinch a-and you're not entitled to our pity just because Megatron was mean to you."

"No, I'm not. And neither am I entitled to a second chance. But here we are," Starscream grit out as he stomped down the hall.

Just a couple more corners and he'd be at the door to his room, his safe room, away and shut out from him—

"Pfft, here we are! I always knew we'd end up in a situation like this sooner or later—you and I, or some other Autobot, duking it out with you on some backwater world. But I never imagined that you would ever be wearing the Autobot badge during our confrontation. The badge that you don't deserve."

"You gave it to me!" The door to his room was up ahead now, so close, so near.

"I gave it to you so that… so that… oh, scrap this! You're a fool, you know that? You claim that Megatron is your greatest enemy but we all know that you're your own greatest enemy. Who dismantled most of your plans?" Ratchet waved his servos around.

"Do not change the subject!" Starscream refused to look at the medic and stared hard at the floor ahead of him. Just a few more steps and he'd be at his room.

"Who always ruined your schemes at the last moment? Who chose to cower before the warlord instead of stand up and fight? You, Starscream. You've always ruined your own life and you always will. It's the way of things."

Starscream slammed his talon down onto the heavy metal door to his room. He should just throw it open and duck inside, but some force within him made him continue to speak. "If I stand up and stop him from hitting me then Megatron will just hit me ten times harder."

"Don't think I d-didn't notice what you just did."

"What? What did I just say?"

"You talked in present tense as if Megatron is still actively hitting y-you."

Starscream clenched his fist. The tips of his talons cut into the metal of his door as his optics prickled.

He slowly turned around and faced Ratchet. Coolant dripped down from Starscream's optics.

"You're the new Megatron."

Ratchet's optics widened. There it was again. That little emotion from earlier suddenly reared up within Ratchet's field again, but this time it was hot and acidic and all-consuming.

Starscream knew regret when he saw it.

But he didn't care. He opened the door to his room and shut it loudly behind him.


	21. The Doctor of Doom

"I then lifted the rascal aloft above my helm and dealt out swift _justice! _"

Bulkhead snorted. "You struggle to lift yourself out of your berth in the mornings, Ratchet."

"Oh, hush your forked glossa!"

Starscream rolled his optics as he walked into the main room. Ratchet stood in front of his desk and basked in the vivid green glow of his synth-en as he flexed and rolled his plating. The rest of the Autobots and human children watched Ratchet flex one action pose right after the other.

"They never stood a chance, you know that? They're so used to thinking of medics as just bots who _fix _injuries—it never occurred to them that a medic like me could also cause them! Hah!"

Bulkhead laughed and pointed finger-guns at Ratchet. "Hahaha, yes! Wait, what?"

Bumblebee let out a low beep.

Ratchet scowled and turned around and pointed a digit at Bumblebee. "Do you dare doubt me?"

_"Yes!" _

"Oh, pah! Everybody here needs some reason kicked into them! Especially you, Starscream," Ratchet said coldly.

Starscream tightened his plating. He just wanted some energon but now he was getting attacked instead.

A large frame stepped in front of his and blocked him from Ratchet. "I believe that is enough for now," Optimus said.

Starscream scowled. "You don't need to shield me! I can handle the likes of him!"

Optimus looked over his shoulder and down at him with a frown. "No. You can't."

Starscream stepped back. Optimus's sad blue optics stared right into him and Ratchet's vivid green ones shone with unfettered hate. He turned away and his optics lit up at the sight of the TV.

"Now, little Rafael Esquivel, do you see the TV and the footage upon it?" Ratchet asked.

The kids turned and looked at the TV. "It's… a monster truck?" Raf asked.

"Indeed," Ratchet said as he flared his plating. "Now look at the mighty monster truck. Now look at me. Now look back at the sheer power of the monster truck. And now—"

"—look at you?" Raf whimpered.

"Yes! Now what differences do you see?"

"Um… a lot?"

Ratchet's optics widened. "Wha—_ no, _you were supposed to say that you see zero differences between me and that powerful truck!"

"But… you're not a powerful truck…"

_"Yes, I am!" _

Bulkhead ran between Ratchet and the mezzanine and waved his servos in the air. "Okay, okay, Ratch, take a chill pill—"

"I do not need to take a chill pill. I _am _the chill pill," Ratchet whispered.

Starscream barked out a laugh from the other side of the room. "Stop traumatizing the fleshie sparklings, you've already traumatized them enough already."

"We're already traumatized," Jack muttered.

Optimus looked down at Ratchet as concern began to crinkle in his field.

"Are you well, old friend?"

"Do I look unwell to you?" Ratchet asked as his vivid green optics twitched.

Bulkhead blinked. "Uh, yeah, you look like a scraplet who crawled into an engex supply and came out three days later. Seriously, I saw that once, it was _wild— _"

"I am no scraplet! I am the pede that descends upon them and crushes them underneath!" Ratchet snarled as he turned to face Starscream.

_"You're acting out and you need to calm down," _Bumblebee beeped in concern. _"Both you and Starscream need to make peace with each other." _

"Oh," Ratchet snorted. "We'll make peace. When he's no longer here."

"Well, I _am _here and I do not intend upon leaving anytime soon!" Starscream said.

"You will leave whether you like it or not!"

Starscream stood firm before Ratchet. "I know why you're doing this," he harshly whispered to the medic when they were only inches apart. He kept his voice low enough for only Ratchet to hear.

"And what is the reasoning I am doing this, hmmm?"

"You…" Starscream's faceplate spasmed. "You want to feel needed."

Ratchet's faceplate fell.

Optimus stepped up beside him and his field thrummed with caution, but now that Starscream had begun he couldn't stop.

"You're desperate, you want to be useful in a way you just _aren't— _"

"And _you _ruin everything!"

Ratchet pushed Starscream away and his optics flashed green. Optimus placed his servo upon Starscream's shoulder. "This must stop."

"Hey!" Starscream said. "I can't ruin what he already ruined first!"

Optimus stood between the two of them. "That is enough. This conflict will not be allowed to escalate any further. Ratchet, I am disappointed in you for starting this. And Starscream—"

He wasn't sure why, but the disappointed tone in which Prime said his name made Starscream feel sick.

"—you had an opportunity to end this, but you did not take it. Autobots do not start fights nor escalate them. We finish them."

"I… well…" Starscream trailed off when he realized the Autobots all had their optics on him. "Fine then! I'm leaving!" he huffed as he walked back down the hall and ignored the Autobot's gazes on his back.

* * *

The bright blue glow of his secret energon cube lit up his room.

Starscream tightened his grip on the cube in his talons as he laid back on his berth and stared up at the bland concrete ceiling. If he offlined his optics he could almost imagine he was resting underneath the sky instead of underneath what felt like a thousand tons of concrete.

No, he had to _do _something. Starscream sprang up from his berth and slid the door of his room open before he darted out into the shadows of the base.

_"I'm stronger now," _Ratchet's voice echoed down the halls. _"Mightier than ever before!" _

"And _stupider _than ever before," Starscream muttered to himself. The door to the lab came into view and he reached out his talon to throw the door open—but then went still.

_"I am my own master now!" _Ratchet's voice echoed down the halls and around and around in Starscream's helm.

Oh, that was it. Starscream threw the door open and marched into the lab. His tank churned at the sight of the synth-en. It shone so brightly that he didn't even need to turn on the light to see.

"I could destroy it," Starscream said. He clenched his talon so tightly that the tips of them dug into the soft mesh of his servo and drew out points of energon.

Just one swipe of his talons was needed to shatter these infernal vials and bring this entire mess to an end. Just one swipe—

Pedesteps pounded from behind him.

Starscream froze and felt his breath catch in his vents. He'd withstood the wrath of Megatron for thousands of years, so why did the wrath of one angry medic seem so terrifying all of a sudden?

He stood frozen in the lab and clenched his talons into even tighter fists as he began to shake—

"Stop," Optimus said. He stepped up in front of Starscream and gently grabbed ahold of both of his talons. He softly pried open Starscream's fists and grimaced at the sight of the energon on them.

"It's you," Starscream said. He knew he should have felt relief and that the tight wad of anxiety in his chest should've loosened at the sight of the Prime—but it still stayed just as tightly wound as before.

"I was looking for you," Optimus said. He looked at all of the synth-en in the lab and his field darkened around him. Starscream would have to make the Prime see reason, he _had _to.

"I'm glad you're here! Quick, if you extend your blade then we could destroy these wretched vials and bring an end to all of this!" Starscream picked up a vial of synth-en and held it up for Optimus to see.

Optimus frowned and looked down at the synth-en and then at Starscream. Oh, he knew that look very well, that look Optimus got on his faceplate right when he was about to bring your world crashing down.

"Help me destroy it," Starscream grit out. His voice sounded shaky to even his own audials. "Help. Me. With just one swift motion I could shatter this thing and end Ratchet's little temper tantrums. Let me."

Optimus knelt down before Starscream and frowned. His field flowed heavily around him with that same sickening sense of pity and concern.

"Would destroying his work really make things better?"

Starscream rolled his optics. "Yes!"

"Or would it just make _you _feel better?"

Starscream's grasp on the vial tightened and the tips of his talons left faint scratches behind on the glass. "It would make everybody feel better!"

"He would just create more, Starscream. More and more and more until the sight of it all would sicken you."

"I find all of this already quite sickening, Prime. Especially his behaviour towards _you. _What, did you seriously already forget the way he mouthed off at you?"

Optimus took a deep vent and his field roiled around him. Starscream's optics widened. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Maybe it was best to forget that moment of weakness he saw Optimus display back on that mountain.

"I will never forget the way he spoke to me. Partly because his words were somewhat true and also partly because it is also my fault he is currently like this."

"And how is it your fault Ratchet decided to take the plunge and mess around with something he should not have?!"

"Because for once he is in the spotlight and actually feels… useful. Had I just acknowledged him more, than maybe his fears of inferiority would not be arising like this."

"And what about me? Whenever _I _mouthed off at you, was that also because of some fear of inferiority that I had?"

"Yes."

"Wha—you were supposed to say no, by the way!"

"I'm worried… that he will become like you, Starscream. Angry and feeling left by the wayside and acting out in order to try and regain control of his life. And that is why this right here," Optimus pointed at the vial of synth-en in Starscream's talons, "is not yours to destroy. Ratchet himself must dispose of his own creation. If we do it for him, he will never forgive us and never learn his lesson."

"'Never forgive us?'"

"I used to think that if I just showed Megatron just how destructive his actions were and showed him what terrible things he had created, he would see reason. But now _I _see reason and now I understand that cleaning up after him will never let him learn his lesson."

"'His lesson'? Optimus, are you even hearing yourself? You're seriously comparing that old… that old coot to _Megatron? _"

"I… do not know anymore. And while I also wish to see Ratchet's creation go—"

The synth-en pulsed with light and for a split second all they could see was just bright green.

"—we must not be the ones to make it go away. The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do. Destroying it will also not improve the rest of the team's opinions as much as you think it will.

Starscream scoffed. "I'll only ever be seen as a destroyer, I may as well just prove everybody right!"

Optimus shook his helm. "You're not meant for just destruction. You can create."

"What?"

"You created a better version of yourself. Now give Ratchet the opportunity to create a better version of himself."

* * *

Starscream sat in the corner of the main room and sipped his energon alongside Optimus.

"Have you ever witnessed something amazing, Arcee?" Ratchet said as he stretched his arms out.

"Uh, yeah?"

Ratchet just looked at her. "No, I mean, something _truly _amazing?!"

Arcee sighed and nodded her helm. "Yes, Ratchet, I have."

"Wrong answer! You haven't seen anything truly amazing before, no, but... you're all about to!" Ratchet cackled as he picked up a large crate and hefted it above his helm. "_ Hooah!" _

Optimus frowned and stepped forward with a cautious servo outstretched. "Please do not overexert yourself, old friend."

"You don't n-need Starscream, don't you see that? You don't need him, you just need me!"

"I need every member on this team. You are all vital to me."

Ratchet's field warped and crinkled around him with unhidden impatience. "No, just… don't you see how strong I am now?! No more fighting Megatron alone! And there will especially be no more sparing his life!" Ratchet grunted as he dropped the crates back to the ground. "You hear me? You're in charge, ohhh yes you are, Optimus, but _I _am now in charge of _you! _"

Optimus just stared at Ratchet. The nervous energy of everybody's EM fields kicked up a notch and the air was thick with tension.

"Ratchet, please calm down," Raf whimpered from the mezzanine.

"Yes, please calm down, you're scaring the kids for Primus's sake!" Arcee scoffed.

Ratchet's helm whipped around and he looked right at the kids. "I am doing all of this _for _their sake. One day Megatron is going to march in here, you know that Optimus? Just march right in here and ruin everything just because you both didn't have the guts to take him out when you should have!"

Optimus blinked. "'Both'?"

Ratchet looked at Starscream. "You had _sooo _many chances—"

Starscream slammed his unfinished cube down onto the counter. "And you've had so many chances to bury this!"

Ratchet's optics widened. "No, no, don't you all see that I'm just as strong as Megatron now?! I can take him too! I am strong, don't you see that now ?" Ratchet grunted as he reached down and picked up two crates this time. He lifted them high over his helm and looked down at everybody with raw desperation in his optics. "I can stand beside you, Optimus!"

Optimus reached his arms out to steady Ratchet. "Please put them down before you hurt yourself."

Ratchet's faceplate fell and a sharp stab of dejection shot through his field. He sneered and chucked the crates to the ground.

Bulkhead gasped. "Ratchet, we needed those!"

"You know what, fine! Be like that then!" Ratchet grumbled as he stomped off and marched right past Starscream. He took one long glance at the Seeker before he vanished back into the shadows of the base.

He'd make them_ all _see the truth one day.

* * *

The vial of synth-en fell to the floor and shattered.

"Frag," Ratchet swore. The vial shattered just a few feet away from the tips of his pedes. He could make more. This wasn't a big setback. It wasn't.

So then why did it feel like it was?

The pile of spilt green synth-en grew bigger and bigger until the only thing Ratchet could see was just pure green.

He shakily clutched onto another blue cube and steadied it under his lab equipment. He took his vial and poured the right ingredients into it, yes, so close, so close to fixing this energon, so close to gaining more strength—

His servo shook and he knocked the cube of energon to the ground again. This time it did not miss his frame.

The bright blue and green energon sluiced down his chestplates and fragments of glass stuck to his transformation scenes. Ratchet shakily rubbed some of the spilt energon onto his servo and watched it drip through his digits and melt away into the darkness.

Ratchet clenched his servo into a fist and slammed it onto his lab's workbench. He successfully made synth-en before, so why was it suddenly so _hard _now?

It had to be Starscream's fault. That Seeker's presence was ruining everything. "If I can figure this out, I can be stronger, faster, _better _—"

He was going to prove to them that he wasn't weak, oh no, he wasn't weak at all.

But the ache had already begun to settle back into him, that tired achiness that had infused his struts down to his core for millennia and that the synth-en had only just now gotten rid of.

Ratchet grumbled to himself as he started up another batch of synth-en. He wasn't weak, he was strong, he could go toe-to-toe with Megatron, with Optimus, and even with Starscream.

Starscream was the problem. He _had _to be the problem. It was the only explanation Ratchet could even think up, the only explanation he could even bring himself to _accept. _

The Seeker was the problem because the Seeker saw him as weak and underestimated him—

And he was_ not _something to be underestimated.

It wasn't his fault that he kept shaking and ruining his own lab work. No, it was Starscream's fault, it was his equipment's fault, it was the universe's fault. If he just had some more regular energon then he could drip the synth-en into it and _invigorate _it. Yes, that was what he had to do for now. He took the last cube of synth-en he had left and chugged it.

Ratchet sprang up from his desk and let the green glow of the synth-en behind him light his way as he marched into the hall. That familiar determination he loved so much settled back into him and that terrible ache began to dissipate again. The days of intentionally stifling his own energon supply so that everybody else could be fed were now over.

Optimus's door drew ahead and Ratchet paused outside of it.

"You brought _him _here so that he could find energon for us, is that so?" Ratchet harshly whispered to the door. Optimus couldn't hear him, no, but this still felt like something that needed to be said. "Well, you know what?! You're going to wake up and you're going to find a whole bunch of new energon for us—and not one little bit of it will have come from Starscream. Ohoho no, it will have all come from me!"

Ratchet stomped into the cold and dark mainroom and turned on the computer with a flash of light and determination. The coordinates for a mine that the Autobots needed to raid flashed onto the screen and burnt themselves into his optics.

_There. _

He didn't need backup, he didn't need anybody but himself, right? Ratchet shakily typed into the coordinates and watched as a brilliant green groundbridge illuminated the darkness of the main room.

He cracked his knuckles and tightened his armor. All he had to do was stride through that bridge and do what nobody else ever could.

Ratchet suddenly turned around and glanced over his shoulder and stared into the dark shadows of the corridors. He didn't know who it was he feared to see behind him—Starscream, Megatron, Optimus—

"Slag it!" Ratchet swore as he slammed his fists down onto his workbench. He was strong and invigorated now and he no longer had any need to fear any of those mechs. The only thing he had left to fear was—

He shook his helm and stared into the bright green depths of the groundbridge as he walked up to its edge. The sheer energy of the bridge sparked and flared all around him. Is this what Optimus and the rest of the team felt right whenever they were about to depart on a mission as they stood upon this precipice? Sheer excitement, sheer glory?

If so, then why wasn't he feeling either of those things?

"The time of doubt is _over. _"

Ratchet ran through the bridge.

* * *

"I am the siren of the night," Ratchet softly whispered to himself. He sat in his alt-mode atop a tall hill and looked down through thick clusters of pine trees down into the valley below. The purple and red glow of Decepticon drones and machinery glinted beneath him, blissfully unaware of the powerful and invigorated mech right above their own helms.

If he closed his optics and ignored the unfamiliar stars above and the more unfamiliar organic lifeforms around him then he could almost pretend that he was looking out over Cybertron instead.

Almost.

"I'm goin' to, I'm going to _take you down! _" Ratchet laughed as he transformed and shakily pointed right at the mine. His voice echoed into the cold air and down into the valley below. There was no response except for the wind.

Victory was near. All he had to do was transform, rev his engines, and just _go. _Those miners would never stand a chance against him, ever.

He flared his plating, flexed his talons, sent power to his t-cog—

And then froze.

The synth-en should've kicked in by now. The synth-en, the power, the _determination— _

No, he was supposed to feel energized.

Ratchet shivered.

But all he felt was cold.

The air was warm, though, and the sheer waves of heat from the flurry of mining activity below only made everything worse. Ratchet grumbled and flared up his plating again. All he had to do was go down there and take his revenge and claim his glory

The power was there. He just needed to wield it properly. But _how? _

"But for who?" he said softly to himself.

Who would be around to witness him? He needed to show his strength to the world, he needed his enemies to see that he was not some rusty old tool left behind on the wayside.

"I'm not the tool," he whispered. "I'm the _weapon. _"

He needed an audience.

He wasn't doing this for himself—or was he?—he was doing this to win his rightful respect.

No, it wasn't the fear of the drones below that made him turn around. He took one last look at the glimmering mine below, took a deep and shuddery vent, and turned around and stomped back to the groundbridge. His frame shook harder and harder with each step away from his revenge, but he would just have to be patient for now. Patient.

He needed someone to witness his moment of glory and the drones down below wouldn't make for a good audience. He was going to kill them, after all.

"I need them to respect me, _all _of them, but especially…" Ratchet's optics widened and his breath left his vents in a wheeze. "Especially _him. _"

* * *

Starscream laid awake on his berth. The air buzzed around him and even the comforting presence of his hidden energon supply wasn't enough to calm his panicked spark. But then again, when was he ever calm?

Shaky pedesteps pounded behind his door. Starscream turned around and squinted at it as a bright green glow shone from under the door crack.

"Oh, not again—"

The door slammed open with a clang and there stood Ratchet. _"Hooah, _" he whispered.

Starscream groaned and buried his faceplate into his berth. "I have no patience for your mid-life crisis!"

"Mid-life what-now? Pah, I don't have patience for your sass! You're coming with me!"

Starscream scoffed and stared at the wall. "Oh, and where are you going to take me, oh mighty Autobot?"

"On a mission unlike anything you've ever seen before. You're going to see _this _in action!" Ratchet smirked as he rapidly gestured towards his frame.

Starscream just stared at him. "A run-down cog? I've seen plenty of mechs like you in action before and I can assure you that it's not pretty!"

Ratchet's optics twitched. "_ No. _You j-just don't understand, do you? Soon you'll learn to respect me the same way you respect Optimus. I know that you haven't given us all of the locations to the mines yet."

Starscream stiffened.

"Ooooh, don't play dumb with me!" Ratchet laughed as he swayed on his pedes. "You're intentionally only giving us a few at a time b-because you're scared that if you give them to us all at once we'll no longer have a use for you and dispose of you!"

Starscream continued to stare at the wall and he tightened his plating. "Maybe," he said flatly as his annoyance ebbed away and was replaced with fear. "Maybe not. How do you know that?"

"You didn't t-tell us about the mine that I'm about to take you to." Ratchet stared into space as his field vibrated with unshed energy. "You're my _audience _and I-I'm going to make you see just how strong I am and then when I do, I will never be disrespected ever again, never forgotten again, never laid to the side again, never—"

Starscream rolled over and stared at Ratchet with wide optics as he mumbled on and on.

"—and never seen as second-best again! So come on!"

He thought about it for a moment. He'd already had a nasty encounter with Megatron and was not in the mood for another.

"If you want to go and get yourself killed, be my guest."

Starscream rolled back over and sighed. Sooner or later the insane medic would get bored and move on.

Something silver flashed beside his throat cabling. Starscream looked to the side and his spark sank at the sight of Ratchet's silver saw extended right beside him.

"Are you willing to come with me _now? _" Ratchet grit out.

Starscream, now fully awake, slowly sat up and glared at the shaky medic. "Perhaps."

"Then let's roll out! Or, well, in your case, you'll just have to walk out." Ratchet thumped his fist into his other servo. _"Hooah!" _

"Stop saying that, please, and _hey—! _" Starscream yelped as Ratchet grabbed onto his talon and ran down the hall with him in tow. The base's doors sped by them one by one as Ratchet ran like the wind.

Optimus's door was up ahead now, it would be so easy to reach out with his talon and give it one knock and stop this nonsense—

His talon froze in the air and Starscream watched Optimus's door retreat behind them as he was dragged off.

The bright green groundbridge came into view and Ratchet suddenly paused as he ran up to its threshold.

"What now?" Starscream sighed.

The bright green glow of the bridge cast everything in a harsh green light. Ratchet turned to face him and Starscream watched as his optics shone green and years of exhaustion lifted from Ratchet's faceplate.

_"Everything," _Ratchet breathed. He ran through the bridge, one servo tightened into a fist and the other clasped around Starscream's talon as he dragged him through.

* * *

Starscream resisted the urge to stare.

The both of them stood on a high hill that overlooked a mining operation in a valley down below. The bright lights of drills and miners glinted in the night, but so did the lights of a nearby human settlement. The distant whir of a highway echoed through the cold night air, but Ratchet didn't seem to notice. His breath frosted in the air and he hungrily looked down at the mine with raw anticipation in his field.

It was hard not to stare at Ratchet. The way he looked down with greed, the way his plating twitched and shivered—

"Are you ready?" Ratchet said suddenly.

Starscream offlined his optics and let out a deep vent as a blast of wind blew by. "This is a foolish adventure and you're going to get yourself hurt."

Ratchet glared. "I am already hurt." He transformed and drove down towards the mine at full speed.

Starscream swore and sprinted after him as Ratchet transformed back into his root-mode and jumped down to the mine with a flash as he extended his blades and set to work.

"And there goes our only medic," Starscream sighed to himself. He stood back and listened to the sounds of blasterfire and grunts of pain echo through the air. He should do something, should find some way to contact Optimus—

Ratchet let out a grunt of pain.

—but Starscream found it hard to summon any pity for the medic.

Starscream crested the ridge and looked down into the valley below. Hopefully Ratchet hadn't gotten _completely _destroyed by the drones, he still needed somebody to repair his wing after all.

He blinked. Then he rubbed his optics and looked down at the mine yet again.

Ratchet's blade flickered and flashed as it sliced through the drones with one casual flick after the other. His optics glowed a vivid and feral shade of acidic green as drone after drone fell down before him and was crumpled underneath his pedes. Ratchet let out a single whir of his siren—

Before he then shoved his sword through a drone's chestaplate.

Starscream watched the slaughter go on with wide optics. The battle grew more and more distant for some reason. He looked down and saw that he had instinctively taken a few steps back.

"Ohh, this can't be happening," he groaned to himself. He should be glad, right? Glad that the pesky medic could hold his own.

But the sense of dread within him just grew even more unpleasant. Those grunts of effort, the flash of that sword, the anger in his optics, it was familiar...

Starscream shook his helm. _No. _This upstart medic was no Megatron.

The anger, though, and the slices of his sword, and—

There were more differences than there were similarities, yet, but there _were _similarities between the flustered rage of Ratchet and the ignisive wrath of Megatron.

"Like what you see?" Ratchet laughed as someone else's energon dripped down his chestplate.

Starscream blinked and took in a shuddery vent. "Yes," he said as his spark pulsed within his own chestplate.

"I have reaped my harvest and now you will never disrespect me ever again." Ratchet smirked and sauntered over to a nearby blue crystal of energon. He held it aloft above his helm and laughed, laughed and laughed and laughed, a loud yet joyless noise that almost managed to blot out the sounds of the highway.

Starscream anxiously glanced over at the lights of the highway nearby. The road was far, yes, but not far enough. What was Megatron thinking when he put a mine so close nearby?!

And Ratchet just continued to _laugh, _that awful shrill pained noise and—

Ratchet was silent now. He stared over the fallen bodies of drones and reached down to pick up more and more shards of energon.

A smile spread across his faceplate. "Yes, yes—"

A blue energon shard dropped to the ground and shattered. He shakily reached down and scooped up some of the spilt liquid. Ratchet watched the energon sluice through his digits and felt bits and pieces of its shattered fragments shift around within his transformation seams.

His optic twitched.

Starscream stepped up to him. "...Are you okay? Please don't begin boasting again."

Ratchet twitched again. "Where is it?"

"...The what?"

"The respect!" Ratchet spat. "The gratitude, t-the appreciation, the…"

Starscream stepped up to the deject medic and crossed his arms. "Oh, you thought you'd get instant glory for doing this, huh? You thought you'd get that sweet validation you'd wanted so badly?!"

"I—_ yes! _Why wouldn't I expect that?!"

Starscream flared his wing and pointed at all of the fallen frames. "You can't just expect instant gratification, that's not… that's not how life works! I wish that's the way it worked, but, well." He looked back up at Ratchet. All of the rage was gone and now replaced with confusion as a thousand conflicted emotions rippled through Ratchet's field.

Starscream sighed. "It's tempting," he said softly. "Tempting to just go in and kill all your enemies because you think it will make people give you the praise that you think you rightfully deserve."

"Is that why you killed Cliffjumper?"

Both mechs went still and just stared at each other. The only sound came from the far-off whir of the highway and the distant crackle of their groundbridge.

Starscream flattened his armor and began to march back up the hill. Ratchet's confused and conflicted field fizzled around him and he transformed and drove up to Starscream in a spray of dust.

"Okay, perhaps I could have phrased that better—"

_"Move." _Starscream shoved Ratchet off to the side.

"—but you know I'm not wrong!"

The trees rustled off to the side but the sound Starscream heard the most clearly was the pulse of his own energon in his lines.

Ratchet ran to keep up with his long strides. All Starscream had to do was make it through the bridge, go back to base, crawl into his room, and scream into his berth for five hours. Let Ratchet deal with his carnage, his hard-won energon, and with the slagging consequences of his own actions.

The trees rustled again and this time Starscream could not ignore it.

"I am not like you, if that's what you thought I was implying. We are nothing alike!" Ratchet scoffed.

The trees rustled again and voices echoed through the air. _"Did you hear that?" _an unfamiliar voice said.

_"It was like this… weird laughter?" _

_"Jesus, that was loud, it must by a coyote—" _

The light of a flashlight swept through the trees. Starscream's spark froze in his chestplates.

"_ — _I am the siren of the night!" Ratchet said.

"Your little slaughter summoned humans right to us!" Starscream shrieked. "Curse you and your idiocy and curse Megatron for putting his stupid mine right beside a stupid human road!"

_"I think I hear arguing?" _

Ratchet's optics widened. Finally, it was time for the old cog to see reason and get out of there.

"Let them come."

"What? Am I having an aneurysm? That's the human term, right? The term used by the creatures that are _about to discover us?! _"

"Do you fear them?!" Ratchet said as he swept his arms outward. The beam of a flashlight shone against his back. "Do you fear _this? _Optimus s-says I don't care for them. But I'm strong, they'll all see that, everybody, even the fleshies!"

The humans broke through the treeline and gaped up at the sight of the two bots. Ratchet stared off at the dead drones around him as his frame began to twitch and he paid no mind to the gaggle of confused humans at their pedes.

"You see nothing, you got that?" Starscream hissed down at them.

_"Hoooahh..." _Ratchet moaned.

The urge to smack Ratchet rose up within him suddenly, but Starscream stilled. That last "hooah" sounded different from all the others and Starscream cautiously turned around to look back at him.

Ratchet stared right at the frozen humans. "You know, we should all be on Cybertron protecting Cybertron, y'know that, right? But instead we're all here protecting your little world and your little fleshie selves. Do you like that, _humans? _" Ratchet shook out as he pointed at the humans. They began to scream.

Starscream dragged his talons down his faceplate and internally screamed. It was too much, too much noise, too much emotion, too much spilt blood—

Optimus would want none of this.

Starscream stepped in front of the humans and spread his wing out over the infernal creatures as they screamed louder. "Ratchet, you need to back off! I'm sick of you and I'm sick of this situation you put us in, okay?!"

"What are you doing? Why are you standing over the humans like that?" Ratchet laughed as he spread his arms out. "We have no foes here, I've seen to that! Why are you protecting them?"

Starscream took a deep vent and looked down at the frightened humans underneath his wing.

"To...protect them from you."

"I am not going to hurt them! What, so you'll defend a bunch of organics, but not your own fellow Cybertronians?"

"That's different!"

"How?! What, you seriously think that I'd _hurt _humans?" Ratchet said. His voice started out strong but ended strained as he sharply inhaled and took a shaky step back. "That's what Megatron would do and I am no Megatron!"

"You said you wanted to be like him just a short while earlier!"

"That… that was different!" Ratchet groaned as his optics flickered and as he held his helm in his servos. "I just, I just want to be _powerful _like him! I want to be respected, feared… just not…"

The wind whistled past their frames and for just a moment there was silence.

"Just not second-best anymore?"

Ratchet stared at him and took a shaky nod. "E-exactly."

Starscream groaned. "Off you go, shoo," he said as he swatted at the shrieking humans. "Go back to wherever it is you all live. Go back to your burrow or nest or something!"

The humans ran off into the woods in a flurry of activity and Starscream had to shake his wing at them in order to get the last of them to scatter off.

"Good grief," he muttered.

Ratchet just stared at him with shock in his field. "You just showed more kindness to those fleshies than you showed to other Cybertronians in thousands of years," he said softly.

Starscream watched the humans run off. "Perhaps, but I just didn't want Optimus to get all up in my business if he found out I stood by and let you unload your mid-life crisis on a bunch of frightened fleshies!"

"You gave them freedom, y-yet gave so many Autobots no freedom _at all. _"

Starscream knew exactly what to say to grind Ratchet's gears even more.

"Well, freedom is the right of all sentient beings!"

_"Do not dare to use Optimus's words against me! _What, so you mock Optimus's 'Autobot catchphrases' but then shout them at me when it's suddenly convenient for you?"

"I mock them because I know that they're true and I _hate _that!"

"What?! 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings'? You _hate _that?" Ratchet let all of the energon shards in his arms drop to the ground and shatter in a sharp blue flash.

"Because—_ because—" _Starscream stuttered as the wind blew harder. "Because it's not true! Not every single slagging sentient thing deserves freedom!"

"Ohoho!" Ratchet laughed as he spun around in the cold night air. "And you think you can be the judge of that, huh? Tell me, who deserves freedom and who 'slagging' _doesn't _?"

Starscream stayed silent and just stared at Ratchet with wide optics.

"Huh?!" Ratchet shrugged. "Who? _Who?! _Soundwave?"

Starscream grit his dentae.

"Knock Out? Breakdown?"

Starscream took a step back and anxiously rubbed his helm with his talon.

"Megatron?" Ratchet shouted.

Starscream felt a growl rise up within him.

Ratchet just stared at him. "Who doesn't deserve freedom in your view? Who? Starscream…"

Starscream held his talon to his intake and just stared off into space. He should've just let Ratchet saw his neck open and be done with it. He should've done anything he could to prevent himself from getting into this situation.

"Are you referring to yourself?" Ratchet said so softly. Starscream finally turned and looked at him. That was the softest he'd ever heard the medic speak to him since this whole debacle began.

"Uh…"

A honk boomed through the night. They both turned and saw a pair of headlights shine brightly in the night as they drove towards them. The ground shook as Optimus drove up to them and suddenly transformed.

He towered over the both of them and glanced back and forth between Starscream and Ratchet.

"His fault!" Starscream shrieked.

"Wha—hey!" Ratchet scoffed.

Optimus shook his helm. "I understood that the synth-en was making you reckless. But I did not expect this kind of behavior from you, old friend." Optimus turned to face Starscream. "He dragged you along, did he not?"

Starscream grimaced and nodded.

Optimus sternly stared at Ratchet before he then turned around and walked back in the direction of the bridge. Starscream and Ratchet obeyed his silent command to follow and shuffled off behind the Prime while still under his shadow.

"I can never escape your shadow, can I?" Ratchet whispered.

"What was that?" Optimus asked.

"Nothing, nothing."

Starscream stared at Ratchet as they stepped back through the light of the bridge.

* * *

Starscream dragged his talons down his faceplate and groaned as he walked back to his room. He knew his supply was fine, but that faint paranoid voice in the back of his helm that accompanied him for thousands of years whispered to him that _something was wrong, something was wrong. _

The faint sounds of angry voices echoed through the empty halls. He couldn't discern the individual words, but Optimus's distinct yet disappointed voice and Ratchet's frazzled one were unmistakable.

There was a shout, then a door slam, and then—

Somebody moved at the other end of the corridor and the frazzled edges of a scattered EM field brushed against his for just a single moment.

But it was still long enough. He knew anxiety when he felt it. Starscream whirled around and watched Optimus walk down the hall and towards a very familiar and very dreaded door.

He should just go back to his room and slam the door shut and clutch his energon close and pretend that everything was fine and that the synth-en didn't exist.

But that voice in his helm continued to say _something is wrong, something is wrong. _

And he was going to find out what.

Starscream walked down the hall after Optimus and peered into the lab. The bright green glow of the synth-en cast Optimus's frame into deep shadow. His normally calm field thrashed around him with indecision, an emotion Starscream had no idea Optimus could even feel.

The inner nastier side of himself whispered to him to just leave the Prime and his odd habits behind.

Starscream stepped forward anyway. "Oh, so when you lurk around in the dark no one throws a fuss, but when I lurk I'm being 'creepy' and 'mopey.'"

Optimus turned around and looked at Starscream with wide optics. "I did not expect to see you here."

Starscream snorted. "I could say the same for you! Didn't you tell me to stay away from here?"

Optimus offline his optics, yet could still see the bright green glow of the synth-en shine through his opticlids. "I did say that," he said very softly. "And here I am, on the verge of breaking my promise to leave his synth-en alone."

Starscream stepped into the room and stared at the synth-en alongside him. "You don't break promises, you're Optimus Prime. _I'm _the promise-breaker here."

"I promised Ratchet we would always stay together, yet it seems I have broken it. We still live together, yes, but… it seems a rift has widened between us without my knowing."

Starscream sighed. "He's _high. _"

"But he is also right about some things. I did feel guilty about failing to rescue Megatron. I wanted to alleviate that guilt and yet also help my team, and I felt that convincing you to join us was the best way to do so. He speaks the truth."

Starscream scowled as his spark sank. "What, so you rescued me out of… spite?" That word felt wrong to use, but it was the only word he could think of at that moment.

"No," Optimus said as he leaned down and looked at him. "Not in spite. _Never _out of spite. I rescued you because I felt not spite, no, but concern."

"And… guilt?"

Optimus took a deep vent. "And that."

"Is that a bad thing, though? To rescue someone out of guilt?" Starscream said. This entire situation felt completely and utterly wrong and made his tanks churn. _He _was supposed to be the sad bot in need of comforting, not the comforter.

But maybe it didn't hurt to switch things around now and then.

"I cannot help wonder about how… genuine I am."

"Okay, you're losing me here. What does being genuine have to do with sadly staring at creepy green liquid in the middle of the night?"

"Did I rescue you because it was the right thing to do, or because it was what the Matrix told me to do?"

"The Matrix spoke to you about me?" Starscream whispered as he stared at Optimus's chestplates.

"I do not always know which thoughts are mine and which thoughts are its own. But what I do know is that back when I became Prime and Megatron had just started warlording, back when I still thought he could be redeemed, my idealistic thoughts were entirely the product of my own desperate desires. The Matrix told me that Megatronus was lost. I thought otherwise. Cybertron paid the price for it."

"...I… listen, creepy Primal artifacts are not exactly my area of expertise, but… I think we all have that voice in our lives that tells us to follow reason and that we always end up ignoring!"

Optimus sighed. "Perhaps."

"_ You're _my voice of reason, do you know that? And you told me that the right thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do, and right now the easiest thing to do would be to shatter that stupid synth-en—"

"—but it would be wrong," Optimus finished.

"Yes, see, I'm not completely terrible at comforting bots! See, all the synth-en did was create a new and nasty side of Ratchet."

Optimus's field went cold around him and Starscream stepped back. A chill went down his struts and somehow he knew that was the wrong thing to say.

"The synth-en did not create a new and terrible side of Ratchet," Optimus said as he stared at the synth-en. "It merely revealed it. Everybody thinks that that fateful day back in the Senate was the moment Megatronus became evil when in reality it was the moment he _revealed _his evil. His true nature was hidden all along—except it was not. It was in plain sight. I did not see it because I did not wish to see it. But Ratchet saw it. And now I wonder if Ratchet's distress and feelings of inferiority have been obvious all along and I did not see it because it was not what I wished to see."

Starscream stared at the synth-en and swallowed the emotion that threatened to rise up his throat. "You see his distress _now, _and that's better late than never. Megatron was— _is— _the same, you know. He thought you'd join his side and stop being Prime. He still thinks that you might do that, I think. But he doesn't see that because he doesn't wish to. Ratchet thinks I'm his replacement when in reality I'm _your _replacement. Megatron and Ratchet's optics are still shut. Now yours are wide open! And hey, I don't blame you for ignoring the old cog—I would have tuned him out too! Even if ignoring his warnings was the wrong decision and a mistake, you're obviously doing everything you can to correct that mistake. Sooo..." Starscream shrugged.

"Hmmm. I suppose you are right."

Starscream scoffed and puffed up his plating. "You 'suppose'? Of course I am right! When am I ever wrong?"

Optimus just stared at him.

"Uh," Starscream groaned. "Don't answer that question. Stop moping and go back to your berth."

"Perhaps I will do just that. Thank you, Starscream. If only you could listen to your own lessons," Optimus smiled.

"Wait, what?"

"Joining Megatron in the first place was the wrong decision and a mistake, but you are obviously doing everything you can to correct that mistake. But you do not see that because you do not wish to see that. You continually believe you are hopeless and a lost cause, yet your words this night have clearly proven otherwise."

Starscream just stared at him in return. "...Go to sleep."

Optimus smiled and walked out of the lab, but Starscream lingered behind a moment longer.

He stared at the synth-en until all he could see was green.

* * *

"Now, here is how to insult somebody in Vosian!" Starscream said as he leaned down over Raf.

_"Uh, does he really need to know that?" _Bumblebee blooped.

Starscream instinctively stepped back from Bumblebee. "Yes!"

Bumblebee warbled sadly. _"Still distancing yourself from us?" _

Starscream rolled his optics. "I've said it a million times before, _yes. _Now here's my favorite insult to use on Megatron—"

The computer near the groundbridge beeped loudly and Arcee squinted up at it. "Looks like the 'Cons hit another vein."

Optimus beckoned him over. "Starscream, are you aware of the layout of this mine?"

He moved away from Raf and squinted up at the unfamiliar signal. All of these tunnels were completely alien to him. Megatron must have begun to build new mines. A cold feeling settled in his tanks. He was outliving his usefulness and now Megatron had begun to move on.

"I… do not."

Optimus nodded. "Autobots, roll out!"

Bulkhead ran up to them. "Hey hey, shouldn't we wait for our secret weapon?"

Starscream blinked up at them. "Oh, I'm honored, but—"

"Trying to take my place again, hmm?!" Ratchet scoffed as he strode into the room.

Optimus frowned. "This mission is unlikely to require medical expertise."

"But you never know if it may require additional firepower! Bumblebee can handle groundbridge duty."

_"I can?" _

"Oh yes! It's time to put some hurt on those Decepticons!"

Optimus looked back and forth between Starscream and Ratchet. "Perhaps it would be best for the team if both Starscream and Ratchet accompanied us."

Starscream's spark pulsed. "Uh, can I just stay here and teach the children vulgar things?"

Optimus shook his helm. "I am afraid not."

Arcee walked up to Optimus and beckoned him down. "Are you sure we should really let Ratchet go with us? Especially with Starscream also tagging along?" Arcee whispered harshly.

Ratchet struck a pose and punched the air. "Hooah!"

Optimus frowned. "I fear that if we leave him here he will create and consume more synth-en. Bumblebee will not be able to supervise him due to being on bridge duty and neither will he be able to supervise Starscream. I fear that Starscream will flee back into his room and seclude himself away again as his anxieties consume him. No, it would be best to have them both with us. They need to make their peace."

Arcee grimaced, but then nodded.

"You have nothing to fear, Arcee," Ratchet smirked. "You've got this ambulance protecting you and ready to save your little wheels again at a moment's notice."

Arcee groaned and Starscream shuddered.

* * *

"Signal's weak. They may have hit a vein, but they won't find much of an energon pulse—not here."

Everybody crouched behind some boulders and looked down at the Decepticon mining operation down below.

Starscream rolled his optics. "My mines were better!"

"I take some comfort in the fact that Megatron seems as desperate to find the stuff as we are," Arcee said.

Ratchet looked over his shoulder and at all of them. "Do you two always talk this much during these missions? Stay here, Starscream, and let us get to work." Ratchet cracked his knuckles before he transformed and drove down the hillside. "_ Hooah!" _

The drones looked up in fright at the angry ambulance. _"Autobots!" _

Starscream lingered behind and sat by the rocks as all of the Autobots charged forward and unleashed mayhem down below.

"Oh, look at me," he moaned to himself as he kicked the rocks. "I'm being sparklingsat! I should be down there fighting, not moping up here on the rocks. Moping—when have I _ever _moped? I am mope-free!"

Starscream sat back and hummed as he watched Ratchet violently slam into drone after drone. He had to admit that it satisfied him to see other bots suffer as a result of Ratchet's madness. A rogue miner drone made a run for it and caught Ratchet's optic. He wasn't sure why, but Starscream's spark chilled as Ratchet slowly picked up a rock and took aim.

He rapidly glanced between Ratchet and the rest of the Autobots. No, the rest of the team was too low, there was no way they'd be able to witness what was about to happen.

Ratchet angrily stalked across the ground. That drone had no idea what was coming.

Starscream rose to his pedes and swerved past the battle and began to climb up the mountainside. Some compulsion deep within him told him to keep an eye on things, the same compulsion that kept him alive and helped him avoid Megatron's wrath all these years.

A distinct _clang _echoed into the air and Starscream winced as Ratchet's boulder presumably made contact.

_"Why the big rush?!" _Ratchet's voice echoed through the hot air.

Pebbles slipped out from underneath Starscream's pedes, but he grit his dentae and continued to climb up.

_"Just trying to get as far as I can from the Autobot stink!" _

_"Does your boss know you have a potty mouth? Maybe I should pay him a visit and tell him?" _

Starscream halfway up the hillside. No, there was no way Megatron could be here at this puny mine. He couldn't afford to have another run-in with the warlord. He still remembered the way the wind whistled past his dangling frame as Megatron held him high over the sheer mountainside and—

_"Get melted, wheel grinder!" _

_"Melted? Now there's a concept! I won't ask you a second time. Where. Is. Megatron?" _

Starscream yelped as a rock slid out from under him and nearly made him fall again. The wind whistled past his frame and—

_"Why would I not hurt the city, hmm?" _Megatron's voice echoed in his helm.

_"—and why should I not hurt you, hmm?" _Ratchet shouted down at the drone.

Starscream looked down at the dizzying drop below.

Optimus fired off another volley of bolts and looked up just in time to make optic contact with Starscream up on the cliffside. He had only a fraction of a second for his optics to widen before he was drawn back into the battle.

Then the screaming began.

The sound of melting metal bubbled through the air and made Starscream cringe. He'd taken fire from the forge and melted down enemy Autobots before, yes, but that was his past eviller self who had done that—this was _Ratchet _doing the torturing now.

The drone sobbed. "H-he's down in the tunnels, scouting them, the energon supply, just go down there and—"

"Stop holding out on me and just give me what I want!"

Starscream hoisted himself over the top of the cliff and took a deep vent at the sight of Ratchet knelt over a wounded miner.

"No, no, no! That's all I know, really! Wait… Commander Starscream?" The drone twisted his burnt and melted helm as wonder filled his field.

"Ah, not quite," Starscream said as he stepped back. He made a mistake, he shouldn't have gotten involved—

Ratchet glanced back and forth between the both of them. "Ohhh, you're just good ol' BFFs, aren't you?"

"Good ol' _what? _" Starscream blinked.

"I bet you're brothers! Decepticon pals! Well, I won't let you two have your little _reunion! _"

Ratchet swiftly transformed his melter into a blade that gleamed in the light. He raised it high above his helm—

The drone shouted. _"Commander!" _

—and Starscream lunged forward and caught Ratchet's blade just before it descended upon the drone's neck.

Ratchet's field bloomed like a bruise and raw betrayal burnt through it. "You… you dare choose him over me? You, the supposed Decepticon-defector, still feel _pity _for your soldiers?"

"This isn't what Optimus would want!"

"Commander…" the drone began to sit up. "Please, make Megatron see reason!"

"Shut up!" Starscream snapped. "Do I look like your Commander to you?!"

"Yes! You managed to command the Autobot, so s-surely you can command Lord Megatron to stop his mad operation?!"

Starscream and Ratchet squinted at the drone and spoke in unison. "What are you talking about?"

The drone rapidly glanced in both directions as his field flowed with unease. "He… he's got this new big operation..."

The sound of heavy pedesteps pounded through the air as Optimus, Arcee, and Bulkhead ran up to them. Optimus's field flared with surprise as he beheld the sight of Ratchet's outstretched blade.

"Ratchet, what did you nearly do?"

"I got results, and I'm going to get more!"

The drone jumped to his pedes, but then Ratchet slammed his own pede down onto his back and leaned in close. "What big operation? What?"

"M-megatron, and the humans—"

Optimus tore Ratchet off of the drone. The miner jumped to his pedes and made his escape.

"You are breaking protocol! That was a Decepticon miner! Servant class! _Not _warrior class."

Starscream watched the miner run as fast as he could. The drone turned around and took one last look at Starscream. His field bloomed with desperation, and then he vanished around a corner.

Ratchet grumbled. "Oh, let me guess, I'm just the medic!"

"Autobots do not inflict harm unless all other options have been exhausted. It is what separates us from the Decepticons. Starscream… you did well. Were you truly still a Decepticon, you would have let Ratchet strike."

Starscream continued to blankly stare at the spot where the drone had vanished.

"Pfft, is this really the time for another lecture, Optimus?" Ratchet shouted. "You didn't just happen to discover Megatron's current location, did you? Well, I did! And do you happen to know where there is a stockpile of raw energon ripe for the taking? Well, I do!"

Bulkhead held his servos out. "Come on, Ratchet, calm it down! Look, you already went and traumatized Starscream! Look at him, he's got the jitters!"

Starscream continued to stare at the drone's pedeprints in the dirt.

Commander.

Some of the soldiers thought he would still serve Megatron.

"Calm is the last thing we need!" Ratchet grumbled as he paced in a circle. "Calm is what lost us Cybertron. The 'Cons have a warship, an army, and all this energon scouting! You think Megatron isn't gearing up for something big?! That drone would've told us what he's now up to were it not for your interference, Prime! We're squandering our resources, chasing after his crumbs, when we really need to be hitting him hard and hitting him now! Precisely where it _hurts! _"

Optimus frowned. "A direct assault on the decepticons would only provoke retaliation and lead to incalculable losses. I will not endanger innocent human lives."

Starscream gulped and finally turned around. "I… think they're already in danger, Optimus."

Optimus's optics widened.

"Yet you seem to have no problem endangering our lives!. Just ask Cliffjumper—"

Oh _frag _no.

"—oh, I forgot! He couldn't be here today! And that's _his _fault!"

There was silence for a moment. Four EM fields bloomed with pain.

Then came the anger.

Arcee lunged at both Ratchet and Starscream. "That's it! Just when I barely learn to tolerate _his _presence, you just have to throw that fact back into our faceplates!" Bulkhead held her back as gently as he could as he stared at Ratchet with raw hurt in his field.

"You know your problem, Optimus?" Ratchet scoffed as he turned to look at Optimus again. "For such a big strong bot, you're _soft _. You pick up murderous Seekers and stache them away and shield them like they're lost cyberpuppies! You didn't pound Megatron into scrap when you had the chance. Many chances, in fact!"

Optimus stepped forward and loomed over Ratchet. It was subtle, but there was definitely something tight about the way Optimus held his plating close to his frame.

"I am afraid that the synthetic energon has imparied your judgement, old friend. I am confining you to base until further notice." Optimus sighed heavily. "Bumblebee, bridge us back," he said over the comms.

Ratchet huffed. "Fine." He cast a quick glance at the entire team, but his green gaze lingered on Starscream.

Starscream shifted nervously on his pedes as Ratchet stomped off back to the newly-opened bridge. There was something about the way that medic carried himself and something about the way his gaze had lingered that felt… off.

Ratchet's silhouette vanished into the whirling portal and Starscream let out a vent of relief.

"What a drama queen," he muttered.

Optimus's optics widened as he stared at something past Starscream.

Starscream huffed. "Yes, I know that's quite ironic coming from me, but—"

He turned around just in time to see Ratchet run back through the bridge and bodily slam Bulkhead into the ground.

Ratchet ran up to Starscream and leaned in so close that the only thing Starscream could see was his bright green optics.

"Watch me do what you _never _could!"

Ratchet revved his engine as he transformed and left them all behind in a cloud of dust. Starscream stood there in shock as Ratchet let out one loud honk and then vanished.

Optimus sighed heavily and helped Bulkhead get back to his pedes.

Ratchet hurt Bulkhead.

Well, not badly, he just tossed him, but still—

Ratchet had taken _Bulkhead, _that green oaf that had latched onto Starscream and that Starscream couldn't really bring himself to mind, and then just _tossed _him.

"Where are you going?!" Arcee shouted after Starscream as he began to run.

He cursed his lack of his wing, he cursed his inability to transform, but most of all he cursed himself for creating the synth-en in the first place.

"I'm fixing this!" Starscream shouted over his shoulder as he ran around the bend that Ratchet had driven around. "I'm not going to let him make my same mistakes!"

A much louder honk boomed behind him and Starscream skid to a stop in the dirt as Optimus drove in front of him and rapidly transformed. Starscream tried to swerve past the Prime but Optimus was faster.

"I understand that this is difficult for you to watch—"

"Let me go!"

"—but we cannot afford to be reckless about this, Starscream."

The two of them just stood there and stared into each other's optics.

Bulkhead and Arcee stood behind them both and their own fields flickered with nervous anticipation.

Maybe… maybe Prime was right. Maybe he should just shuffle off back to base with the rest of the 'Bots and wait for the medic to reappear on his own time.

Shouts echoed through the air and a hot blaster bold slammed into the dirt between Optimus and Starscream's pedes. Optimus firmly pushed Starscream away from him and let loose his own volley of blasterfire at the approaching drones.

The drones. The _drones. _Ratchet would just hurt more and more of them until he got what he wanted.

Starscream could turn around and walk back through that bridge to that cold cold base, full of that wretched synth-en he couldn't even destroy—

Or he could maybe save somebody from the synth-en.

Starscream ran past Optimus and dodged underneath the blasterfire as he ran deep into the mine. The shouts of the rest of the Autobots echoed after him as he jumped down into the mine's depths.

He turned around and saw Optimus there with raw fear in his optics. Then a blaster bolt slammed into the dirt nearby and sent up a cloud of dust that obscured everything.

Starscream took a deep vent and ran deeper into the cave. He was going to find that stupid medic whether he liked it or not.

* * *

"So, let's say you're an idiotic and angry medic looking for a new target to take your repressed anger out on," Starscream mused to himself as he sprinted through the mine's tunnels. "Where do you go?"

He glanced back and forth between two identical tunnels that branched off. Starscream took a deep vent and rubbed his talons down his faceplate. "Oh, this was a bad idea, wasn't it?" It wasn't the first time he'd thrown himself into a stupid situation and would most certainly not be the last.

Maybe he should just turn around and go back to base. But even Starscream understood that it was too late to turn around the same way he understood that if Ratchet discovered Megatron it would be too late for the medic to turn around as well.

Starscream sprinted faster.

He turned around a corner and nearly tripped over the prone frame of a fallen drone. Starscream stepped back and then looked up and saw another fallen drone. Then another. And another.

The air fizzled with nervous energy and a low and desperate voice echoed through the tunnels.

_"I'm strong, I can be strong, just like Optimus, just like Megatron, I am the siren in the night—" _

Starscream took a deep vent as he turned around the corner. "Hello, any stupid medics here?"

Ratchet whirled around. His frame was covered in spilt energon—Starscream could tell it wasn't his because it was blue, not green—as he held up the deactivated frame of a drone above his helm.

Starscream blinked. "Um. Could you put that down?"

Ratchet said nothing and continued to stare at Starscream with wide and unseeing green optics.

"Listen, I did not haul my aft down here just for you to space out on me! Move it, you're worrying Optimus sick!"

"I'm strong like them, aren't it?" Ratchet asked so softly.

Starscream rolled his optics. "What are you going on about…?" He trailed off when he saw the look on Ratchet's faceplate. There was still anger there, oh yes, but there was another emotion there on his faceplate that Starscream knew very well.

Desire.

"Ratchet, please put the drone down and come with me," Starscream said as softly as he could as his processor went into overdrive. Ratchet desired something, but _what? _Revenge, obviously, but something more, something so much _more— _

"Tell me, Starscream," Ratchet grit out as he continued to hold the drone's frame aloft above his helm. His arms began to shake. "Tell me I'm strong like Optimus or Megatron, or both. Tell me that I deserve to stand by Optimus's side. That I deserve to not just _fix _his side, but to also be beside him."

"Uh…" Starscream stepped back. So _that _was what Ratchet desired. Revenge, yes, but—

Validation.

Starscream clenched his talons into fists. He knew that desire very very well.

"Yes, you're sooo strong, just like good old Optimus! Who, might I add, is somewhere behind us and anxiously looking for you. So if you could just…?"

"You're _lying, _" Ratchet spat out. He threw the drone's frame to the ground and it slammed into the dirt in front of Starscream's pedes. A cloud of dust billowed into the air and the only available source of light was the harsh green glow of Ratchet's optics. "You're lying like you always do!"

"Well, I am not lying when I tell you that this is all a very bad idea!"

"Bad idea? Hah!" Ratchet laughed as he marched down the tunnel. Starscream sighed and ran after the medic. "Sparing Megatron's life time and time again was a bad idea! This is the only good idea anybody's had in centuries!"

Starscream grunted as he grabbed onto Ratchet's arm and tried to pull the angry mech away. They weren't even anywhere near Megatron yet and Starscream could still feel the raw power and anger within Megatron's field fizzle in the air around them. The warlord had been here, yes, and probably still was. A child settled upon Starscream's spark.

"Ratchet, I understand what it's like to be under the synth-en's power, I know what it's like to hear its whispers._ Ignore them _!" Starscream begged.

"Ignore them?" Ratchet spun around and shakily pointed at Starscream as his green optics began to twitch. "You dare ask me to ignore the new voice of reason within my helm? I am not just _wielding _the synth-en, I _am _the synth-en! And I am _not _something to be ignored. It's time you learned that!" Ratchet shouted as he swung out with his arm and struck Starscream. Starscream fell back into the dirt and looked up at Ratchet with wide optics.

Ratchet twitched and stared at his own servo as he froze. "I… I did not mean to hit you that hard…are you okay?"

"Oh, you didn't mean to hit me? Still doesn't change the fact that you just did!" Starscream hissed. He should turn around, just get up and leave this wretch behind with the warlord and save himself while he still could—

"I've underestimated my own strength," Ratchet said as he stared down at his shaking servo. "I'm stronger now. I am my own master now."

Starscream froze too.

_I am my own master. _

_I am my own master. _

_I am— _

Starscream's optic twitched.

_—my own master. _

"You're becoming like _me, _Ratchet!" Starscream shouted as he stumbled to his pedes again and ran off after him.

A new voice echoed through the cave. Ratchet's optics widened and his field vibrated with energy as he followed the echo of Breakdown's voice.

_"Yeah, she's kinda domineering, and the extra arms are weird, but I find myself intrigued by her." _

First of all, no, why? And second of all, _no, why?! _

Ratchet let out a sharp whistle.

Breakdown came into view and smiled at the sight of Ratchet. "I was wondering when you might show!"

Starscream panted as he ran to catch up. "Primus, you're fast for a grounder, and—"

He locked optics with Breakdown.

"Oh, no, you did not see me here!" Starscream whimpered as he grabbed onto Ratchet's arm and tried to drag him away.

"'Scream, it's… been a while," Breakdown said. His usual confidence and bravado was gone now and replaced with a hint of uncertainty.

"Now watch closely, Starscream, and let me show you how to _properly _dispose of an enemy. Primus knows you need lessons!" Ratchet flexed his plating and beckoned Breakdown forth with a come-hither servo flick.

Breakdown grimaced. "Uh, what the frag?"

Ratchet shook his helm and grumbled. "Just never mind that and come _fight me! _"

The rest of the drones milled around them and watched on in interest as the nervous energy in the three mech's fields reached a new high.

Starscream dragged his talons down his faceplate and pretended this wasn't happening. Everything was spinning out of control and whenever that happened he had no choice but to go to the one person in the situation who _did _have control.

Which meant he would have to beg.

Starscream ran before Breakdown and dropped to his knees and _Primus, _he did that with far too much ease and familiarity—and looked up into Breakdown's single confused optic.

"He's high, Breakdown! Not on engex, but… worse. Don't fight him. Let us leave! Let us pretend this never happened!"

Breakdown blinked down at him. "Starscream…" he transformed one of his servos into a hammer. "You know I can't _not _fight you."

"But why?!"

"Oh, trying to steal my victory from me now? First you steal Optimus's spark, then you steal my place at his side, and now you're trying to steal my moment of glory!"

Starscream's wing fluttered. "You really think that I stole your place?"

The overconfidence in Ratchet's field faltered for a moment and he frowned for a split-second. But then the moment of weakness passed and Ratchet scoffed. "Doesn't matter! I'll just take my place back, how about that?"

Starscream shook his helm. "Ratchet…"

Breakdown walked right past his prostrated frame and right towards Ratchet with his hammer extended.

"No, frag, _stop, _why are you even doing this, Breakdown?!" Starscream shrieked.

He stopped in his march for a moment and watched Ratchet strike action poses at the other end of the tunnel.

Breakdown did not turn to look back at Starscream. "I have to do this," he said softly.

"But why?"

"Because—because slag it, Starscream, that's how war works!"

"You were an Autobot once, so why not be one again?"

Breakdown whirled around and loomed over the Seeker. "We _discussed this. _"

"Not enough! Not nearly enough!"

"'Scream, I…" Starscream watched as Breakdown anxiously rubbed at his neck cabling. "It's just the way of things, Star."

He turned around and began to march right back towards Ratchet.

Starscream groaned and mentally prepared himself for the inevitable pummeling Ratchet would receive—

Only to recoil in shock as Breakdown's frame was flung backwards with one mighty punch.

The ex-Wrecker slammed into the dirt beside Starscream's awestruck frame. His single yellow optic looked at Ratchet in fear as he blearily rose back to his pedes with a grunt before he turned and began to hobble down the tunnel.

Starscream watched him shuffle off before he then turned around and glared at the medic. "Ratchet, why?"

Ratchet looked up and his green optics glinted coldly in the dimly lit tunnel. "Because it is the way of things."

Starscream flinched.

"Oh, no no no," a new voice said. Starscream looked up just in time to see Knock Out. He watched Breakdown hobble past him with wide optics.

"Get to Megatron," Breakdown harshly whispered as he limped off to the warlord.

Knock Out glanced back and forth between Starscream, Ratchet, and Breakdown's scratched finish before he transformed and drove off down the tunnel. Ratchet gave a whoop and ran after him.

Distant yet familiar voices began to echo down the tunnels.

_"You were supposed to have located a fresh energon source by now!" _Megatron shouted. That angry voice sent cold shivers down Starscream's struts and brought back even colder memories. That rage, that indignation laced into every syllable—

_"Apologies, Lord Megatron," _Knock Out's voice said, still just as smooth as Starscream remembered it as being, but with a new hint of fear hidden behind the words. _"We got a little distracted by the new Autobot who attacked us." _

"Really? And what new Autobot would that be?"

Starscream held his helm in his servos as Ratchet bolted past him.

Breakdown stood in the tunnel before he then crumpled into a heap. Ratchet stepped into view and flexed his plating. _"Hooah!" _

Knock Out pointed his servo at Ratchet. "Well, uh…"

"_ That _is your fearsome new adversary?" Megatron mused. "Hahahah! He's Optimus Prime's medic!"

"Oh, you idiot!" Starscream grumbled. He turned around the corner and—

"You," Megatron breathed. Hearing the warlord was one thing, but seeing that massive angry frame and all its sharp and painful and oh so familiar corners was a different thing altogether.

Starscream locked up. Ratchet looked over his shoulder and frowned at the sight of Starscream's frozen frame.

Knock Out rapidly looked back and forth between Megatron and the Seeker. "Now now, let's not do anything rash here, you've been taking too much dark energon lately, you need to rest my Lord—"

"So the time has come for the prodigal son to return!" Megatron shouted as he pushed Knock Out off to the side and began to approach Starscream. "I remember the last time I saw you. The raw _fear _on your faceplate as I dangled you above that cliff. But now you dangle over an even deadlier and greater danger." He reached his talon out for Starscream to take. "Oh, Starscream."

Starscream began to rapidly step back. "Oh, no no no! I'm sick and tired of you, you know that?"

Megatron just laughed. "You will never be tired of me. That is why you are here, right? For me?"

Starscream fluttered his wing nervously. "When has anybody ever been there for you?!"

Megatron snarled. "There was once a mech I called 'brother.' Then he abandoned me and then replaced me with _you! _If you are not here for me, then for who?"

Ratchet slapped his thigh as his field roiled with energy. "You want a piece of this hot ambulatory action, huh, _huh? _Because I'll give you one!"

Megatron blinked and looked back and forth between Starscream and Ratchet. "So you are here to play sparklingsitter, are you now? And how is that working out for you?"

_"Fine!" _Starscream spat.

"HOOOAHHHH—"

_"Shut up!" _Starscream shrieked.

Knock Out laughed. "I don't know what I expected to see from my Autobot competition. But I was not expecting… this."

Ratchet pointed an accusatory digit at Knock Out. "I've seen _sparklings _with better finishes than that!"

Knock Out gasped. "Kill him instantly!"

"Megatron!" Ratchet shouted. "I'm going to beat your aft!"

Megatron hummed. "I cannot wait to see how you plan on doing that. When have you ever 'beaten' anything even once in your life, Ratchet? You have always played catch-up and always will."

"Okay, no no no, there will be no 'aft-kicking'!" Starscream ran up beside Ratchet and began to tug on his arm. "If we hurry we can get out of here!"

"Pah!" Ratchet swatted Starscream's desperate talons away. "The coward's way is not _my _way. Megatron, _I... _am your doctor of doom! HOOAHHH—"

Ratchet ran forward at full speed with his fist extended and Starscream's jaw dropped as he slammed it right into Megatron's faceplate. Megatron's entire frame was thrown backwards and hit the tunnel with a crash that reverberated through the air and stone itself.

The dust cleared.

Megatron blinked, but instead of the usual rage he had come to expect from the warlord, there was nothing but calm. The familiar chill of fear settled down over Starscream's spark.

"Ooh, ooh," Ratchet said as he brushed off his knuckles. "Did you see that, Starscream? Papa's still got it!"

Megatron rolled his shoulders and rose back up to his full height. "_ Alright then." _

Ratchet charged again. "For CYBERTRON—"

Megatron casually reached out and grabbed onto Ratchet's outheld fist. He grabbed and then—

—he began to _twist. _Ratchet's pained cries echoed through the tunnel and through Starscream's audials.

He'd heard Megatron elicit those same kinds of pained cries from his victims before, but most of the time, _Starscream _was the victim. Never Ratchet. Never someone else.

And that just felt _wrong. _

"Is that so, Starscream?!" Megatron laughed as he twisted Ratchet's arm around more and more. "It's good to see that your time with the Autobots hasn't completely rid you of all of your habits. You still spill your thoughts to the world!"

Ratchet grunted in pain. "Stop twisting, _stop! _"

It was too much too quickly. Starscream felt movement behind him and turned around and stared into the wide red optics of Knock Out.

"I should capture you," Knock Out said quietly as he held out his electro-prod.

"Uh, no need for that!" Starscream laughed nervously.

Megatron's grip on Ratchet's fist loosened slightly. Finally he would let Ratchet go, finally—

Megatron looked up and his optics locked onto Starscream's.

For several moments the two of them just stared at each other as if there were nobody else in the entire world. The sound of Ratchet's screams faded to a dull dim in the background as the sound of Starscream's own frantic sparkbeat thrummed louder and louder with each second.

"...So. You finally decided to show your own faceplate again, Starscream."

Megatron gave Ratchet's arm another cruel twist and made the medic scream all the louder.

"Do you hear his cries?"

Starscream stepped back but felt himself collide with something. Knock Out kept his electro-prod extended behind Starscream and stopped the Seeker from getting away.

"I hear them, Megatron," Starscream said. Ratchet looked over and his wide and pained green optics looked into Starscream's frightened red ones.

"Get him to let him go," Starscream harshly whispered to Knock Out behind him.

Knock Out's frazzled field sparked with indecision and his grip on his electro-prod shook.

Ratchet's screams grew louder as something within his arm snapped.

"Knock Out, stop him!"

"You know I can't! You're _our shield! _" Knock Out hissed back.

"—stop, stop stop _stop— _"

"You want me to let him go?" Megatron hummed as his sharp red optics locked back onto Starscream's.

Starscream swallowed the panic that threatened to rise up in his throat. "Yes! He can't possibly be any use to you if he's broken!"

"On the contrary, Starscream," Megatron said as he finally let go of Ratchet. "I _specialize _in breaking things."

Starscream stepped back, but his back hit Knock Out's electro-prod again. He cast one last desperate look over his shoulder. Knock Out's optics widened—and then he looked away as he gave one single thrust. Starscream stumbled forward towards Megatron and Ratchet and winced at the sight of his twisted arm.

"Ratchet _is _rather more spirited than I recollect," Megatron hummed.

Knock Out shrugged. "Chemical enhancement perhaps?"

"Frag, get up you idiot, get _up! _" Starscream harshly whispered to Ratchet.

Ratchet stared at his dented arm and began to shake harder. "You should go. S-save yourself."

Starscream leaned back. "What?"

Ratchet whipped around. "I _said _—"

Megatron lunged forward and stabbed the tips of his talons deep into Ratchet's chestplate. Starscream threw himself backwards and watched as green synth-en gurgled out of the new spiderweb of cracks that criss-crossed Ratchet. His green optics flickered and he fell to the dirty ground with a grunt as a puddle of thick green synth-en grew underneath him. The green puddle reached Starscream and painted the tips of his pedes bright green.

"There's your laboratory sample, Doctor. Find out. If a chemical can do this for Optimus Prime's lapdog, heheh, imagine what it could do for our troops. And _you, _Starscream..."

Starscream went still. He looked up at Megatron and for a few seconds they just stared at each other.

"Did you notice?" Megatron rumbled.

He leaned down and Starscream flinched as his hot breath washed over him and mingled with the acidic stench of the synth-en in the air.

"Did. You. Notice?"

"Notice how you _stabbed him?! _"

Megatron smiled. "Did you notice how I stabbed Ratchet the same way you stabbed Cliffjumper?"

Starscream's optics widened. Ratchet's frame went still beside him.

"Am I going to die the same way he did?" Ratchet wheezed.

"No! No, you won't," Starscream said.

"Once again making promises you cannot keep. It seems to be a habit for you nowadays. Perhaps I should break this promise for you," Megatron said as he pointed his fusion cannon right at Ratchet. The bright purple glow of his cannon washed over the whole tunnel.

"Oh, Starscream, I've been a fool, a _fool— _"

"Hey, hey hey hey, you, stop moping, and _you, _" Starscream said as he looked up at Megatron and flinched. "You've won. He's down. And... you have both of us."

Megatron leaned down over Ratchet's frame and chuckled. "Right you are, Starscream. I knew you would come crawling back to me one day, but I never expected you to do so while being led on by Ratchet of all mechs. Oh, Ratchet. You're still the same failure you were back in the old days."

Ratchet's field filled with fear as Megatron leaned in even closer. "D-don't you dare bring up the old days!"

"The old days, the good days," Megatron said wistfully, "the good times that you brought to an _end. _I wonder, how hard did you actually try to convince Pax of my true nature?"

"I t-tried so hard, so so so hard, but he wouldn't see reason—"

"No. You just couldn't be reasonable, that was all. Oh, had you just seen the truth that I am Cybertron's future conqueror and ruler and had you just joined the _right _side of the war, then maybe you wouldn't be bleeding out here. Maybe."

Ratchet turned his helm and stared at the wall as Megatron leaned in even closer. "I c-chose the right side."

"Had you not been so stubborn and so foolhardy then this war would not be happening. You are truly a doctor of doom indeed," Megatron laughed. "And _you. _"

Both Starscream and Ratchet held still as Megatron turned his attention to the dirtied Seeker again.

Megatron's talons lunged out and he grabbed ahold of Starscream's talon. He lifted it into the air and hummed as he inspected it. "I'm surprised the Autobots haven't declawed you yet. But no matter. It is time for you to return to my side by doing what you do best."

Starscream forced his plating to lay flat as Megatron hoisted his arm higher into the air. "And what would that be?"

"Killing."

He gripped onto Starscream's talon and forced it down onto Ratchet's new wound.

"No, what are you _doing—? _" Starscream shrieked.

"I am helping you reclaim your true self! Take the plunge, kill the Autobot, and then _come back to me! _" Megatron shouted.

It would be so easy to take that plunge and dig his talons deep into that sickly green wound, it would be so so easy—

Ratchet looked up at Starscream with raw fear in his optics.

It would be easy, yes. But the right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do.

Starscream pulled with all his might and forced his talon away from Ratchet's chestplate. Megatron's field exploded with hot incandescent rage and his optics flashed blood-red.

"You dare to deny me?" he said so, so softly. Starscream could handle the anger, the screaming, the noise that the warlord made when he was angry. But he could never handle the quiet, that soft tone of voice Megatron used when his rage reached new levels.

Starscream took a deep shuddery vent. _"Yes." _

Megatron was silent for a moment.

"Uh, my Lord?" Knock Out said as he shuffled forward and looked anxiously at Breakdown's prone frame. "What about Break—"

Megatron gripped tightly onto Starscream's talon but this time he forced Starscream's talon down and onto his Autobot badge.

"Scratch it off!" Megatron roared.

"What?! No!"

"Get that _thing _off of yourself! I will rip that infernal badge off of you and then rip out Ratchet's spark!"

Starscream spread out his single wing and used it to shield Ratchet. Knock Out's optics widened.

"I don't like him, okay?! He's a jerk, but he's the jerk who repairs me!"

"Oh, I feel so loved," Ratchet grumbled.

"Shut up!" Starscream hissed down at him. "Megatron, please, stay your servo, do not strike him—"

"And why should I not, wretch? Are you saying that you want to take the hit _for _him?"

Starscream's optics widened and his words choked in his throat. "Well, I, um..."

"Ohoho! And here I was thinking that you were an _Autobot _now," Megatron hissed the words out like venom. "I thought you'd become all self-sacrificial, all _noble. _How wrong I was. Are the Autobots aware of how they completely and utterly _failed _to rehabilitate you? You're still the same selfish, sniveling, scheming—"

Something silver flashed into the air and Megatron reared back and cried out. A rivulet of energon streamed out of a thin and long gash on the side of his faceplate.

Ratchet had his saw extended and held right up against Megatron's neck cabling.

Knock Out ran forward and helped Megatron rise to his pedes. "That will certainly leave a dent in your finish, let me see—"

Starscream reached his arms underneath Rachet's and dragged the medic to his pedes. Ratchet swayed dangerously and held one arm to his bloodied and cracked chestplate and held another arm over the Seeker's shoulder.

"Comm for help. Now!" Starscream said.

Ratchet took a deep vent and activated his commline as Starscream led him away from Megatron and deeper into the depths of the cave. Megatron held his talon to his bloodied faceplate and swore as Knock Out fretted over him.

"Starscream…"

He wasn't sure why the sound of Knock Out's voice made him pause and turn around. He looked back over his shoulder at Knock Out.

"Still the shield as usual, I see."

Starscream's optics widened. "I…"

Ratchet groaned in his arms and Starscream sighed and hoisted him up farther onto his shoulders. "You're a real pain in my aft right now, you know that?!"

"I know, I know," Ratchet said softly as they fled.

* * *

"You wanted to fight, so _let's fight! _" Megatron shouted. Starscream and Ratchet both looked at each other as the sound of Megatron's rage echoed through the halls. The air suddenly shifted and Starscream looked up with wide optics at a massive drill that had been thrown into the air. He grabbed onto Ratchet's arm and flung himself to the side just as the drill slammed into the ground where the two of them had just stood.

Ratchet looked at the crashed drill as shock blared in his field. "I think I might have made him angry."

Starscream sputtered. "Oh, you think so?!"

_"This is all your fault, this entire war, everything is your fault!" _Megatron shouted.

Ratchet's faceplate fell. "Is… is he right?"

"He's taunting you, that's what he does, so just ignore him!"

He hoisted the grumbling medic higher over his shoulder and limped down the strange and unfamiliar tunnels. If they were quick and quiet they could find the rest of the team in no time.

A flurry of blaster bolts shot the ground right in front of both of their pedes.

Starscream blinked down at the singed ground. "What…?"

"Why are you just standing there?!" Ratchet wheezed.

"Because…" Starscream looked up at the rows of drones in front of them. It would be so easy for any one of them to just shoot and kill them.

Yet none of them took the opportunity.

"Because they intentionally _missed, _Ratchet!" Starscream grunted as he dragged Ratchet farther into the corridors. He dragged the medic behind a drill and the two of them crouched on the other side of it as the sound of the drone's pedesteps echoed around the cave.

"They wouldn't miss unless they want us alive," Ratchet breathed.

Starscream rested his forehelm against the drill. "They don't just want to take me alive. They want you, too."

"What—why? I'm just a medic!"

Starscream let out a harsh laugh. "Oh, so now your delusions of grandeur have finally melted away!"

"Starscream, I…" Ratchet trailed off. A thousand emotions flitted across his faceplate. He opened his intake. Then shut it.

Starscream sighed. "They want you because they can tell that you're under the control of something, so that makes them think they might be able to control you too. And I swear I will _not _allow another mech to fall under Megatron's control."

Ratchet's optics widened and he stared at Starscream. "And why not just leave me behind to get captured? I know that's what you want to do."

"No, it's not," Starscream sighed.

_"Does the cyberwolf pity its prey?" _Megatron shouted. _"It does not. It kills it!" _

"I want you to suffer for being an afthead, but not like that!_ Never _like that. There are… not many mechs who deserve to suffer under Megatron like that."

_"Those who suffer through pain overcome pain. Are you ready to be overcome yet, Starscream?" _Megatron's voice echoed around their helms as he tried to find them.

"I hate him," Ratchet snarled. "I h-hate him and I hate how fake his words are—he says feeling pain will make you stronger, but all it's done is made me feel weak. I'm sick and tired of this pained war! But then the synth-en came, and n-now… now the pain is tolerable!"

"_ You're _the one in pain here?! You tried to cut my neck cabling just a few hours earlier!"

Ratchet's optics widened. "I… yes, I did do that! I had to!"

"'You had to'?"

"The threat of violence was the only way to motivate you!"

Starscream rolled his optics and stared up at the rocky ceiling above his helm. If he closed his optics then he could almost ignore the stone blocking him from the surface and he could almost pretend he was back on Cybertron again.

Almost.

But he was not on Cybertron, he was here with an angry medic and an even angrier warlord after him.

"You weren't going to cut my neck cabling open," Starscream breathed out.

Ratchet squinted up at him. "What? Of course I was, I was dead serious!"

"No, you _weren't. _If you wanted to kill me then why did you even bother to wake me up? Why did you even bother to drag me outside to that mine?"

"I…"

"You didn't want death, you wanted an _audience, _" Starscream hissed. "Someone who could look at you and say, 'wow, you're sooo scary, so worthy of respect, so amazing,' so that for once in your pitiful life you could feel validated! But that begs the question—why did you want to be validated by me and not Optimus?"

Purple lights shone from behind them. Starscream hoisted Ratchet up higher on his shoulder and dragged the bloodied medic into a dip in the cave's wall as the drones grew nearer and nearer.

"Why me?!" Starscream grit out.

"Because—because I just wanted a bot I saw as an enemy to finally fragging respect me, okay? I'm just a mech who wants _respect! _Why are you being so aggressive with me all of a sudden?! _" _

"Because I'm that mech too, Ratchet! And you are making the same mistakes that I did!"

Ratchet took a deep vent. "I am?"

"Yes! You think that destroying and killing everything will get you the respect that you want! Well, you know what? It _won't! _" Starscream laughed shrilly, but there was no happiness in the harsh noise at all. "I learned that from experience."

Ratchet leaned heavily against the stony tunnel wall as a firefight shook behind them. Starscream took a deep vent as a thousand thoughts ran through his processor. Ratchet knew he was familiar with synth-en, yes, but not _how _familiar.

Pain rippled through Ratchet's field, raw pain, but Starscream wouldn't, no, _couldn't _relax until he knew the medic had seen reason.

"Ugh…" Starscream groaned. How the slag do you comfort a bloodied mech nursing a wounded chestplate and an even more wounded ego? "You… you understand that you don't need to be like this in order to be respected, right?"

Ratchet glared at him. "Be like 'this'? What is that supposed to m-mean?"

"What I'm saying," Starscream inhaled sharply, "i-is that you don't need to be _angry _like this. You're going about it all wrong! They already respect you, don't they?"

"P-pah! Y'know, there's a reason Optimus calls me 'old friend' and not 'old brother,' okay?! Because I'm just his friend, we are close, yes yes _yes, _but at the same time…"

Starscream frowned. "Not close enough?"

"I just wanted to be strong enough to keep him safe, do you understand?"

And he _did. _He thought of a desperate shuttle and the cold and harsh optics of an older Prime. He thought of the old but now reopened wound inflicted on his soul after he tried—and failed—to be strong enough for somebody else.

The synth-en, Skyfire, he could tell it all to Ratchet and make him _understand— _

But his glossa stayed still and his intake stayed shut. No, he would never unbare that private side of himself out to anybody. Maybe Optimus, maybe, but Ratchet was no Optimus despite what he may think.

He just had to say what Optimus would say and surely Ratchet would see reason.

"It's the synth-en ruining you and corrupting you!" Starscream whimpered. And that was true, wasn't it? But he couldn't help but get the nagging feeling there was more to this than that. "It's making you act not like yourself and your friends just want your old self back! And this fragging synth-en has stolen the real you away. I'm sick and tired of watching them all mope—yes, I'm a hypocrite, I can mope, but not them—and I am especially tired of your madness! So just... _Stop. The. Synth! _"

Ratchet turned and looked at him with wide optics. Hope fluttered in Starscream's spark. Maybe he finally understood, maybe Starscream successfully managed to emulate Optimus and—

"The synth-en isn't the problem. The way I _used it _is the problem here," Ratchet said as he shrugged Starscream off and shakily rose to his pedes.

His spark sank and the hope in it dimmed.

No, no no no, this wasn't supposed to be happening. Starscream held his helm in his talons as he internally screamed. Ratchet was supposed to see reason, but he was still just as blind as before. That's now how any of this was supposed to work! He tried to be like Optimus, he thought he could sit Ratchet down and just _talk to him, _the same way Optimus tried to talk to him, to educate him—

But he failed. He was no Optimus. Neither was Ratchet, but he still didn't seem to understand.

A dark shadow appeared at the other end of the tunnel and a hot red glow lit up the air. "Do you remember the old days, Starscream? We could have them back if you just joined me and left this ungrateful wretch of a mech behind." Megatron came into view and held his servos out placatingly. "You cannot fix what is broken and this medic is a very broken mech indeed. Come home."

Home. He wasn't sure where that was anymore. But it was most certainly _not _with Megatron.

Starscream looked to the side—

Ratchet was not there.

"Where did you get off to now?!" Starscream breathed in terror.

"Hooaah!" Ratchet shouted. Megatron whipped around and saw Ratchet high up above him with a drill held aloft over his helm.

Megatron's optics had only a fraction of a second to widen before a smirk crossed Ratchet's faceplate.

"I can be _strong _!"

He chucked the drill at Megatron and the warlord gave out a guttural cry of pain and outrage as he slammed into a pile of energon and shattered it in a scintillatingly blue explosion.

Ratchet turned to face Starscream.

"I… I did what you _never _could!"

He took one last vent and then his green optics went dim. Ratchet fell backwards into the dirt and Starscream stood still as the dust in the air settled.

Low laughter echoed through the cave. Megatron stared out at Starscream from under the drill. "You just escaped one tyrant and exchanged him for another one, didn't you?"

Starscream gulped and tried to think of something, anything to say—

But the volley of blasterfire Optimus unleashed as he ran into the cave did all of the talking for him. A wave of drones emerged from the other side of the tunnel and a new firefight began. The air flashed and pulsed with the red and blue glow of exchanged blasterfire, but the only color Starscream could see was the dried green synth-en smattered over Ratchet's frame. It was the only thing he could focus on as Arcee dragged him away, as Megatron roared away, and as Bulkhead propped Ratchet up and took him away down the tunnel.

The green synth-en dripped and dripped and the green groundbridge opened up and all that he could really remember from that moment forward was just the green—

* * *

"So," Optimus said softly.

The two of them stood in the lab in front of the synth-en together.

Starscream grimaced. "When did I walk in here?"

"You don't remember?"

"No."

"You have been in a daze ever since the incident in the mine."

"_ Incident. _Is that a new word for 'failure'?"

Optimus hummed and the synth-en pulsed. "Do you feel that it should be?"

"Well…"

He turned to look at Starscream in the optic. "Do you honestly feel that your inability to completely protect and convince Ratchet is a failure of yours?"

"I don't know! Most of the time I know when I've messed up—Megatron saw to that—but now… am I really at fault here, Optimus? I just don't know. I tried to convince him to stop this madness, I tried so hard, but Ratchet wouldn't listen. What did I say wrong?!"

"Maybe you said everything wrong. But maybe you also said everything _right. _Ratchet will not change unless he wishes to and as of so far he is not ready for that. When he is ready, though, I know that you will be beside him."

Starscream let out a sigh and just watched the synth-en endlessly bubble on. Optimus knelt down and turned his shoulder and made the Seeker look at him.

"Do you understand that Ratchet's refusal to see reason is not entirely your fault?"

"I… yes. Okay? I get that, but it still feels wrong to try so hard to fix a mess, only for everything to fall apart right again! How can I be worthy to carry on the Autobot legacy if I can't even convince an Autobot to follow his own slagging protocols?!"

Optimus smiled sadly. "You are worthy to carry on this legacy not because you are a perfect Autobot, no, but because you are _trying _to be a perfect Autobot."

Starscream just stared at him in silence. He felt neither the euphoria of victory nor the crushing blow of defeat—all he felt was empty.

"Not every story in life will have a perfect ending. But this is not the ending and I can tell that you are not ready to give up on him. You're willing to keep trying, and that is what makes you worthy."

This better not be the ending. He wasn't done with that old cog yet and would smack him if he had to in order to get him to see reason!

"Hopefully it will not come to 'smacking,' but I am glad to see that you are determined to keep trying. You tried, you are _still _trying, and that is what is important. Do you understand?"

He did understand. Constantly trying and then failing to kill Megatron was how he learned the importance of not giving up. But never giving up on trying to kill somebody you hate is not the same thing as never giving up on trying to save somebody you… kinda-sorta only hate-ish. He was probably speaking out loud right now, but he found it hard to care.

"And you keep speaking out loud because you are still determined to prove to me that you are being open and honest—but you have already convinced me of your openness. I have been convinced for a long time. Now you just need to convince yourself that you've changed and are better now."

He's better now, he knows that now. He knows more about how life works—and now he feels enlightened and empty all at once.

Optimus wrapped his arm around him. "You are a good bot, Starscream."

He wasn't so sure of that yet.

* * *

_Thank you all for your patience! Another amazing and sublime piece of fanart was drawn this time by yeetmetothehell on tumblr, you need to see it, everybody needs to see it, I need to beam it to space, I don't know how to post the link here though but trust me when I say that it is gorgeous!_

_How is the dialogue going so far? I'm worried that there's too much talking and not enough action and would like to know if I should add or decrease the amount of chit-chatting between the characters. Thanks for reading!_


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